How to change your life for the better - where to start, advice from psychologists. Change for the better: externally and internally

Do you want to change yourself, but do not know where to start and what to do? We offer effective advice from a psychologist! Use on health and change!

Good day to all, dear readers of the useful site Diary of Success! 😉

Almost always we are too critical of ourselves.

Anything can not suit us!

Someone is suffering from own appearance, someone is not satisfied with the salary, and someone even with their own children.

Such dissatisfaction is lingered day after day, discussed over tea, but things usually do not go beyond conversations.

And instead of developing and solving problems, we exacerbate our discontent, accumulate irritability and anger until we reach a dead end.

Someone in such situations begins to think, how to change yourself, and someone continues to drive himself into an even bigger hole.

How to change yourself?

On the initial stage changing yourself, there are several rules, without which all your Wishlist will crumble even at the stage of a dream, never coming true.

So what are these rules?

1. 1 rule. Motivation to change yourself

   The most important and strong incentive for you at the initial stage should be motivation.

   You must be passionate about change.

   Motivation is the foundation of everything!

   For example, you weigh 200 kg and want to lose weight, but you are not losing weight.

   Why? Admit it to yourself - you just don't want to do it.

   A person who really wants to lose weight loses weight.

   Therefore: if you really want something, think of a strong motivation.

   For some it might be modeling agency, for someone - the location of a loved one, and for someone - universal admiration.

2 rule. Set clear goals


Often our desires look like this:

I'll go there, I don't know where!

I want something, I don't know what!

In other words, we want to go somewhere, we want a lot of money, a cool car and luxury house. Thinking about such things, we put our own brain in a dead end.

Our brain starts asking: where do I want to go, what kind of car do I want, etc.

But he does not receive answers to his questions, and therefore nothing happens.

Imagine you work in a restaurant, and a client calls you and makes the following order: "Bring me delicious inexpensive food someday."

What will you do?

First of all, you specify which tasty food the client wants.

You ask how much he wants to spend and at what specific time he wants to get his food.

Did you get the gist?

Your brain also needs specifics.

For example, I want to lose 50 kg in 3 months.

Specify all your Wishlist and then they will become more real!

Starting to change ourselves

A lot of people don't want to to change yourself just because they think it's impossible.

Since childhood, many stereotypes have been laid in us, and the stereotype about the impossibility of changing ourselves is one of them.

We are often told that we cannot change, that character is formed in the womb, and habits are formed in the first years of life.

However, in fact, you can change at any age, the main thing is the right motivation and setting goals.

Now that you have found the right motivation and, it's time to move on to the most important thing - changing yourself.

1. Stage 1. We begin to think positively and change ourselves

   
   At the initial stage change yourself start thinking only good things.

   As a rule, everything successful people think extremely positively. Pessimism is the lot of losers.

   Optimists initially program their minds for the best that can happen to them.

   For example, in a year I will have a salary of $10,000 per month and a 3-room apartment on Krasnye Presni Street.

   Also, don't get depressed.

   In this case, you should think like this:

   “That’s right, I got fired! After all, in this position, I will not be able to start earning $ 10 thousand per month. And the next place will bring me just that kind of money.

Stage 2. Change yourself and deal with stress

Once you have learned to think positively, move on to dealing with stress.

After all, all successful and balanced people know how to control their emotions.

Don't let even the smallest things ruin your mood.

Know: nerve cells are not restored.

Continuing an uncontrolled emotional life, you run the risk of becoming an old grumbling grandmother or grandfather in old age.

You don't want this?!

To begin with, start agreeing with everyone, no matter who and what they tell you.

For example, when your boss is chastising you, don't get into an argument with him.

By proving that you are not an ass, you only aggravate the argument and inflame the boss.

Instead, agree with everything he says, even if the boss is wrong.

This will unsettle him and prevent conflict.

A person will simply not be interested in yelling if you already agreed with him!

Even if you're being yelled at on the bus, in the store, or near your house, don't be rude for rude.

Instead, smile and say something catchy that can confuse the person.

By stopping swearing and disputes in the bud, you will save yourself from unnecessary stress and worries.

with simple advice how to change yourself.

Include:

Stage 3. We are looking for the qualities we need

To achieve success in any field, we simply need a number of useful qualities, such as:

• passion;
• optimism;
• discipline;
• patience.

You can add others to this list useful qualities that you would like to have.

Now you should understand how to achieve the desired qualities and become better. changing yourself.

Separately, it is worth highlighting passion.

Try to find for yourself such a thing to which you will give yourself without a trace, try to find yourself!

After all, the most important thing in life is to do only what truly brings joy and warmth.

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Every person at least once in his life had the thought that he could not do something. These reflections are accompanied by experiences. Someone is able to find the cause in the outside world, and someone is trying to look into himself. And it is in the second case that quite often the question arises of how to change oneself in better side. It should be noted right away that this will be very, very difficult to achieve. And the biggest challenge is change. Not everyone is mentally prepared for them.

Sometimes a little is enough

Probably, everyone knows the proverb, which says that if there is a desire to change the world, then you need to start with yourself. In this review, we will not raise the issue of changes in the world. First you need to figure out how to change yourself for the better. And first of all, you need to determine what your problems are related to. You can change, for example, hairstyle. Thanks to this, you will be noticed by a person who is nearby, say, in public transport. He will want to get acquainted, you will start a relationship, a family will be formed, children will be born, and you will be able to become happy. What is the reason? And the fact that earlier you simply did not dare to change your hairstyle.

Even such a modest example can demonstrate that it is usually difficult for a person to find an answer to the question of how to change himself for the better. If he ceases to be afraid of change, then in his life, most likely, success will await him.

Create a list of problems

You can start with the simplest steps. Do you want to know how to change yourself for the better? Just create a list that will list the main reasons that prevent you from developing. You can note not only those problems that are in yourself. Everything should be written on a piece of paper. If it is impossible to formulate, then you can consult with loved ones. However, it is best to express your own thoughts. And know that not all the people with whom you have established communication can wish you well. And you can not say that they want you harm. They do not care.

In this regard, it can be noted that if you do not know how to change yourself for the better, become kinder, then you must independently create a list of the main reasons that prevent you from achieving what you want, or consult with the closest people you trust. Do not be afraid that the formation of the list may take several days. This is within the normal range, since it is impossible to remember everything at once. However, over time, you will have to form pairs consisting of a problem and its cause.

It is desirable to make a list in such a way that internal and external disadvantages are listed separately. For this, it is worth taking two sheets in order to clearly see what you need to fight. However, you should remember that it is much easier to change yourself than the people around you.

You have to deal with your problems

So, you asked yourself how to change yourself and your life for the better, and also formed a list of problems that prevent you from doing this. Now you can see your "enemy". It is with him that we must fight. And first of all, you need to start fighting with those shortcomings that are hidden in yourself. It is necessary to determine in what ways you can solve your problems, and write them on the same piece of paper. Naturally, the thought may come to you that such paperwork is not able to help answer the question of how to change yourself for the better externally and internally. However, it is not. In the event that you only think about your problem, you can forget about some of the ways to solve it. And in the form fixed on paper, they will be kept safe and sound. In addition, the list of solutions can be significantly reduced by analyzing and excluding what does not play a significant role. It's hard to do this mentally.

There won't be an easy way

And if you sat down at the table in order to make a list, in spite of a large number of time that it may take, it means that internally you led yourself to change.

It is worth preparing in advance for the fact that it simply will not happen. All goals are achieved gradually. Therefore, the problems will be solved not in one day, but at least in a few months. And in some situations, the period can be up to one year. And it should be understood that all long-term solutions to problems should be divided into separate points.

What will help you achieve what you want?

This is just one option on how to change yourself for the better. Self-development can occur with the help of other principles. They should be considered in more detail.

Having analyzed your problems and formed a specific action plan, you need to start implementing it. And the most important thing that needs to be done at this stage is to systematically repeat the solutions to the tasks set. You shouldn't take breaks. You will have to wait until the dream turns into reality.

Don't Forget About Your Feelings

In the event that you wanted to find a ready-made list of solutions, but could not do this, then you need to independently form an action plan. At this stage, you need to listen to yourself, take into account your intuition and rely only on the available resources. In addition, it is necessary to open up to external influences and begin to perceive incoming information. In order for this stage to pass more effectively, you need to try to achieve a state of complete calm.

Need to live in the present

You should remember such an expression as "live here and now." It can help answer the question of how to change yourself for the better. A teenager or an adult needs to fully concentrate on what is happening in this moment time. You should not be distracted by dreams and thoughts about the future. Just implement the previously formed plan here and now. This kind of thinking is a bit like meditation. With it, you can get rid of everything superfluous, from what gives a feeling of discomfort. At the same time, you can achieve what you want quickly enough, without being distracted by unnecessary emotions.

Keep moving forward

At the moment when there is no strength left on the emotional level to move forward on the path to change, you should move on to physical activity. For example, you can go to the pool or gym. This will not only relax you, but also help you gain confidence. What you want will get closer.

You need to persevere towards your goal. Self-improvement should not stop even for a second. The former way of life must be forgotten completely and irrevocably. Even the smallest step to the side can shift you to the very beginning, to where you started your development.

Treat the manifestations of life calmly

Embrace your life in all its manifestations. No need to try to change something from the outside. Be calm about everything. Change your attitude to what previously caused only bad emotions in you. At this stage, you must come to terms with the surrounding reality. Accordingly, you can devote all the main attention only to yourself, your inner world, self-development.

Conclusion

If you follow all the rules that were listed above, you can achieve what you want. Although it takes a long time, the first results will be noticeable at the very beginning. Only patience will help you reach the end point in your changes. Be prepared for this, and then success will find you.

We approached the preparation of this article very responsibly. It contains materials from various published publications, conferences, trainings and of course personal experience. The article is filled practical advice, awareness and application of which will certainly lead to changes in your life. We'll tell you where to start. Further actions each person must determine for himself individually, in accordance with what he wants to receive. Well, let's go! How to change your life for the better.

How to change your life for the better

Where do thoughts of life change come from?

Everyone wants to be happy, but in order to make a dream come true, sitting and waiting in one place is not enough. Therefore, we have to act.

First, thoughts come that say that everything is enough, it’s no longer possible! And they, in turn, materialize in actions. This, of course, with a responsible approach to one's own life. After all, you can do nothing to change the situation, bring yourself to a moral void (which is very undesirable, since it is difficult to get out of there). In this regard, with any prompting of the mind and soul to action, it should immediately begin to make the first attempts to change its life.

First steps - how to start change ?

Everyone intuitively knows and feels that start better with yourself. But it is very difficult to do this, and, in general, the first steps are always the most difficult. But the essence of the problem is also that it is necessary to choose the only one the right way, along which it will be necessary to go, without turning, for some time. And also decide what exactly you would like to come to. For this you need:

1. Do a little research on your life and your own "I". Think about what points you would like to correct, do better, what you don’t like at all, and what aspects it is desirable to eliminate by and large. It is easier to carry out such work not in the mind, but on a sheet of paper, writing down all the exciting points, separating, of course, the positive from the negative.
2. Then you need to paint each position, that is, write opposite the desired one - why would you like to achieve this? and how to reach the goal. Those items on the list that carry a negative connotation must also be painted, and then crossed out and forgotten about.

It is precisely this action - writing down your desires, aspirations, needs on a piece of paper - that is the first step towards changing your life, becoming better! It's time for a change! The checklist helps to determine the goal most accurately and understand what needs to be removed from life and what to add in order to make it satisfy you.

A start! But one cannot expect instant improvements, transformations and metamorphoses. This process is quite lengthy and difficult. You need to have a lot of patience. Expecting quick changes can only spoil the whole mood, which will lead to an inevitable breakdown and return to your “trough”.

To change your life, you need to tirelessly, constantly work on yourself. It is possible that at first bad thoughts will swarm in the head, the mind will seek all sorts of evidence that happiness is the lot of other people, etc. Almost everyone who has embarked on the path of positive changes sins with this. The main thing is not to stop, pull yourself together and continue! And in order not to slip back into your previous settings, you need to use the following recommendations and ways to change your life in a positive way.

In order to succeed in any business, you need to draw up before starting it. detailed plan actions. So the first recommendation is:

#1 Writing instructions

It is desirable that each maneuver on the way to the goal be considered in detail. This is important, because you can’t forget anything, you need to do everything right. And then you can expect the desired effect.

Remember order in your head and thoughts = order in life! This should become an axiom on the way to change.

How to make a good plan? To do this, you should return to the very first step - your wish list. It already outlines how to achieve each goal. And now this list is very useful. Just so as not to miss a single detail and make detailed instructions from the notes.

Each list item can be represented as a table. For example, there is a target: lose weight .

Of course, each column of the table can contain many more items. Everything is individual. It will also be useful to start a diary or blog, where, in addition to the goals themselves, you can write down your slightest achievements, describe mistakes, etc.

#2 Set up for the best result

Always, as soon as despondency and bad mood begin to win back positions, you need to to force oneself get back on the positive wave. In any way: read affirmations, do something calming, listen to music, etc. It’s good to always have some motivators on hand for such cases. At least just your list, where everything is listed good moments that will bring change.

You always need to remember for what purpose everything was started. Do not be shy to say out loud to yourself that everything will definitely turn out, write down achievements. After all, they are quickly erased from memory in the face of even the smallest setbacks. Seeing the dynamics of positive changes in front of you, it will be much easier to survive a period of decline.

How to act correctly at this stage? You need to eliminate negativity from your life.

1. Avoid quarrels and disputes. And, in general, from all sorts of clashes with people.
2. Always find a compromise. Or you can simply ignore the conflict situation.
3. Learn to enjoy the little things, pay attention only to the bright, good, positive around you. This leads to good changes and facilitates the transition to a new stage of one's being.
4. You need to let go of your past.. Forgive yourself all the negative, sad moments, imperfect actions, etc. Now you should think about a new life, but you need to be "here and now."

Of course, on the way to happiness, there will be breakdowns and explosions. But we must not allow them to cross out the entire path and return to the level from which it was started, if not lower. Constant work on yourself will not allow this to happen.

#3 Unnecessary and bad habits are a force that pulls back

This refers not only to alcohol, smoking, etc. But, in general, all the habits that do not let go in a new happy life. What could it be? It's simple:

• talk to the mother;
• go to bed late, constantly be in a state of extreme lack of sleep;
• forget promises;
• be lazy;
• put off everything for tomorrow;
• eat or pass a lot;
• watch TV often
• play toys on the phone;
• forget to wash your hair :)
• bite your nails, etc.

Everyone will continue the list for himself. Ideal people no, but no one interferes with striving for perfection. Getting rid of the harmful, and acquiring the useful, you yourself will feel better, more confident in yourself.. Getting rid of addictions is difficult, but entertaining and important process on the way to change your life for the better. This item must be included in the plan for joyful change. And today, start replacing the bad with the good. For example, normalize sleep, exclude watching television from the daily routine, review nutrition, etc. Over time (perhaps not immediately), the new habit will take root and take one step closer to a wonderful positive future. If you know this feeling, then remember it more often: the feeling when you realize that you have done tremendous work on yourself and achieved a certain breakthrough! This will give you self-confidence, strength to move on, set new goals.

#4 Being open to people is moving forward

• You can not hide from people, your relatives, relatives, friends, colleagues. It means those who can cheer up, support, simply lift the spirit with their presence. If someone you know has something that is on your wish list, then you need to impartially consider the situation and think about what action allowed this person to have your dream. And it is better to ask how he went to this goal and achieved it. Perhaps the advice will be useful, and today it will be possible to fit them into your own plan.

• Should communicate more with friends. It is not necessary to share your experiences and problems, especially if you do not want to do this. You can simply charge yourself with positive energy from a pleasant pastime, conversations dear to your heart. The world seems much more beautiful when there is a person in the world on whom it is possible to rely.
• But contacts with evil, pessimistic, dull people should be significantly limited. And if possible, avoid them altogether.

A good stimulus for personal growth is the person next to whom you need to grow, not fall!

By the way, new acquaintances also allow you to move forward, changing your old ideas and attitudes to new life directions. After all, they teach to open up to the world.

#5 Interests and hobbies are the way to go!

We need to remember what we were fond of in childhood. This is often the calling. For example, you really liked to collect autumn foliage or clumsy sticks that look like animals, sew or knit, decorate old furniture, cook or bake, paint something on paper, teach other children new foreign words, etc. Or maybe not in childhood, but in adult and fully conscious life, I wanted to do something, but somehow hands did not reach or doubts prevailed. But any person who finds himself in his favorite business is happy. So why don't you be happy too!?

In addition, interests can be quite mundane. If it is a pleasure to read, needlework, play sports, then it is worth allocating time for this. And when it seems that nothing is of interest, it only seems to be. A huge number of things exist in this world in order to distract from sad thoughts and not allow despondency to win and push back to the beginning of the path. There are many interesting courses and classes that can inspire. And inspiration brings joy!

Step by step comes the realization that there is no way back, that the heart is completely open to change, the best and most beautiful changes in life. But these recommendations are not quite enough to turn the world upside down in good sense. Therefore, more tips are vital that will change your life.

How to start new life and change yourself? You don't have to be superhuman to do this. All methods are incredibly simple. The main thing is to start and over time there will be no trace of pessimism, suffering and complaints.

1. None best practices change life will not help if you constantly clog your body. It is necessary to pay attention to quality and. We are what we eat! It is not necessary to eat only vegetables and fruits from your own garden and not drink alcohol at all. You just need to limit the flow of garbage inside as much as possible.
2. Start learning another language. Not only will this be an amazing mindset, but it will also be a great opportunity for professional change. Sometimes, in an attempt to remember a new word, you begin to think about its meaning, look for synonyms. All this leads to the development of thinking, makes you go beyond the ordinary, thus leading to change. And besides, now the knowledge of the same English is more a necessity than a whim.
3. Need to read more. Not magazines and other light reading, but something for development in one's specialty. Or classics, sociology, psychology, history, etc. You can not read, but listen. The main thing is that at least one book in 7 days. It turns out about 52 per year. Fifty-two works that are sure to change lives.
4. Weekends should not be spent on the couch. Anywhere - in the gym, outdoors, museum, cinema, exhibition, in another city or visiting relatives. You can even jump with a parachute, learn to ride a horse, type blindly, etc. The main thing is to accumulate more impressions, they fill life, it becomes much more interesting with them. You don't have to sit still. It is necessary to expand the horizons and the area of ​​contact with the world. Change starts with movement.
5. A personal blog or diary will help you deal with problems faster than they become unbearable.. Their usefulness lies in the ability to reason, think and analyze. And it is better to write in them about what you love most. And if The Diary maybe no one will read it, then the blog will certainly find its fans, and also help to earn extra money. And doing what you like and getting paid for it is the dream of many. Indeed, very often the opposite is true.
6. If you learn to manage your time, it will become much easier to live. It is necessary to develop the habit of making decisions right away, acting today, and not tomorrow or “later”. Everything that is planned must be done or shifted onto the shoulders of another. But, the main thing is that the planned cases are completed, and not postponed indefinitely. Otherwise, they will become dead weight, pulling down. And we need to fly up! And it would be nice to remember everything that was not done and write it down. Find out whether there is a need under the circumstances to complete these cases. If not, then with peace of mind they can be crossed out. If yes, then make them soon. This will bring incredible relief and release many new and much needed forces.
7. You should abandon the stupid pastime on the Internet, especially from games that steal not only time, but also life. If you use the unlimited possibilities of the network, then only with benefit - for development, training, work, etc. And it is better to communicate with friends live. What could be more beautiful than personal meetings, conversations, tactile sensations, laughter, smiles? Shared pleasant memories are created in this way, and not by emoticons on the World Wide Web.
8. To stop being interested in the news does not mean to lag behind the world. Everyone will talk about the main thing. And everything secondary and superficial only interferes with life, causing unnecessary unrest, feelings and obscuring something really important. It's all confusing.
9. No wonder there is such a proverb - who gets up early, God gives him. Having learned to spend the morning hours with benefit, you will soon notice how much more things you can do in a day. Much more than when you go to bed late. A person needs 7 hours of sleep to sleep, provided that he leads healthy lifestyle life. If you go to bed at 23.00 and wake up at 06.00, then during your wakefulness you can turn the whole world upside down. Today, more and more authors and personal growth coaches are advised to start their day as early as possible. Amazing Results show people! There is no limit to admiration when everything is done before lunch and there is time to do something else or do something for your own pleasure.
10. Travel is one of the ways to change yourself and your life.. It is not necessary to fly to distant Australia to understand how diverse the world is. You don't need expensive tours to realize that it makes no sense to consider your small space as the whole Universe - it is much wider and goes beyond the limits of consciousness. Traveling makes a person more tolerant, indulgent to his own weaknesses and others, wise and calm.
11. Creativity allows you to completely change the worldview. Creativity develops the right brain, which helps us to do several things at the same time, without ignoring the details. It doesn't matter what kind of art you do. The process itself is so captivating that there is no time for sadness, melancholy and despondency. Much of what seemed unrealistically important and brought pain recedes and becomes secondary, and then completely disappears without a trace if a person is passionate about something. You can practice:

• photography,
• drawing,
• singing,
• dancing,
• design, etc.

The main thing is that the work gives pleasure. Perhaps in the future it will be able to generate income. To realize yourself in something is very important!

Creative activity has amazing therapeutic properties. It allows you to survive the pain of loss, longing, hopelessness.

1. Exercising tones the body and provokes a surge of happiness hormones.(and improve metabolism). And that is exactly what we are striving for. Therefore, regular exercise stress must be one of the points of the plan to change your life.
2. Need to get out of your comfort zone. You don't have to do anything extreme to get started. It’s just worth visiting a place where you have never been, getting to work in a different way, changing appearance or image. Even the simple rearrangement of furniture helps. Sometimes leaving is a painful process, but more often than not, it is what spurs you on to start a new life. This is quite interestingly written in the book of the same name "How to get out of the comfort zone" by Brian Tracy (Brian Tracy) publishing house MYTH. It should be read by anyone who has decided to embark on the path of changing their lives.

1. It is necessary to restore order in the financial sphere. Control of expenses and incomes, investments and other economic aspects must certainly be present in the plan of a person who wants to change his financial situation. Since nothing can unsettle as financial difficulties. A blow to the wallet stops us on the path to change and at such moments even think about creativity and healthy eating do not want. Include the problem of money in your Checklist: take an additional part-time job, pay your loan on time, change jobs, ask for a raise, etc.
2. Throw out unnecessary things. Do not take them to a barn or garage, but to get rid of them or give them to someone. And constantly maintain a balance - acquiring a new one, removing the old one. Old things are the ballast of the past. Which reaches for you until you remove it from your eyes. To delete, you need to throw it away. Psychologists advise sorting through your things as often as possible and throwing away those that you have not used for more than one year. Internet is full of large quantity projects about getting rid of unnecessary things that really give results.

An interesting interview with a blogger who promotes personal example proves that it is possible and necessary to get rid of unnecessary things, as well as what this leads to.

1. It is important to be able to accept the world "with all the giblets." Refuse assessments and analysis, take a neutral position, but rather a positive one. Very good teaches to see in everything positive sides Eleanor Porter's wonderful book Pollyanna. You should read it to the end, this girl, the heroine of the work, will teach anyone to enjoy life, even the most inveterate pessimist.
2. Leave the past in the past. It needs to be done! To move on! No matter how good or bad this time may be, it will pull back, which is dangerous for positive change. I must say “thank you” to him for the lessons, experience, good impressions, pleasant memories and other positive moments and let him go in peace. The past has no place in the present, much less a happy future.

And you also need:

• give more than take
• share your knowledge,
• do not be afraid and do not stop in front of obstacles,
• do what you like;
• develop;
• to study;
• change from within.

Of course, and that's not all. There is no limit to perfection. But all the ways to change life for the better come down to the fact that you need to change yourself first of all. And then the world will change in response!

But what is stopping you from starting a new life? The enemies of positive change are the mistakes that reformers make. It is they who lead to the fact that any positive decision ends in defeat and a return to the starting position, if not worse.

5 mistakes that stop positive change

1. The main aggressor opposing positive changes is our brain. Very often people forget that its function is to save lives, and not to make a person financially secure and happy in all areas. And he perceives the usual way of life, the established way of life, as a safe niche for existence. Anything that goes beyond this will be perceived with hostility. I.e everything new he considers dangerous and threatening human life.

Therefore, taking important decision to start positive changes, it is important to agree first with yourself. Failures will be avoided not by the specifics of the goals (although it is also extremely important), but by the simplicity of the steps to achieve it. That is, the most immodest aspiration should be painted in such a way that our defender does not have a desire to give a signal to record a dream as unrealizable.

This influence itself is easy to notice when one specific positive thought in terms of changes for the better, there are a million thoughts-excuses from implementing the goal in life. For example, did you decide to run every morning? How about:

• Bad weather?
• Will people watch?
• Sneakers are not normal!
• I don't have the energy to do anything today!

Therefore, you need to think through everything to the smallest detail!

1. It is often believed that in order to start changes, you only need to make a decision and that's it, then somehow everything will turn out by itself. Of course, a solution is needed. But in order to achieve the goal, it must be specific. Well, it’s not enough to say: “That’s it, I’m starting a new life tomorrow!” Without having an idea of ​​what it will be like in principle. If there is no clearly defined task, there is no understanding of what exactly the result should be, then all the advice on how to change your life for the better may be useless. Because the lack of specifics deprives the brain of the ability to understand the goal and issue a solution to the problem in the form of steps to action.

1. The third mistake is the desire to achieve something without an appropriate supportive environment. This is real, of course, but it will require a huge amount of mental strength and nerves, the presence of the most iron willpower in the world and persistent indestructible motivation.

There will always be someone (and more than one) who will undermine confidence, strongly persuade you to turn off a new life path. Perhaps they will be close friends. Of course, you should not break off expensive relationships. But enlisting the support of a community that would share the views on a new life is very important.

1. Another mistake that many who embark on a path of change make is the lack of encouragement. They should be for even the slightest achievement. Because everything needs balance. And it is necessary that the discomfort from the changes (and it will be) is equalized by pleasant, albeit small, but gifts to oneself. For example, for a week of proper nutrition - good cream for the body you have long dreamed of. Per month - Nice dress. It is, of course, for women. Men have their own stimulants and motivations.

1. Mistake number 5 - do not tell anyone about your decision to start a new life. It comes from the fear that nothing will work out. And in fact, it leads to the fact that it is not possible to implement the plan. A saving thought arises in my head: “It’s good that I didn’t tell anyone anything,” etc. In general, a vicious circle. It is not right. You need to speak about your decision, and loudly and confidently. This fact imposes some obligations and indicates the seriousness of intentions. And gives strength and energy for success!

Audacity and courage in any undertaking are the components of future success. But besides this, some other aspects are important.

1. Start your day right. Avoid office conversations in the morning tapa “How tired I am of morning traffic. Wish the work day was over. The kids don't listen to me at all, I'm exhausted. I'm completely exhausted." Think about the pleasant things in your life, smile more often. Mentally fix every time you think about the negative and transform it into a positive direction.
2. Appreciate what you have. We constantly want to achieve something, get something that is not on this moment. Always. Having acquired one, we immediately begin to think about the next item on the wish list, which is endlessly updated. And there is no time to just enjoy what you have. And it turns out that life is a game where you have to constantly think about how to move to another level. But still it is very important to stop at least for a short moment and thank higher power for all. The ability to thank yourself, God, the Universe for what you have important point which is often underestimated. Saying grateful phrases to yourself allows you to realize the good that you have, gives you the strength to receive a new one.
3. Take responsibility for yourself. You need to realize that everything that happens is the result of a choice once made. Don't blame others for your own problems. On the contrary, you should get together and start right now to change the situation created by your own hands and thoughts. And then do not forget that no one else can control your life, cope with obstacles and be responsible for your actions and actions. It's difficult, but necessary. An outsider can influence the choice, but only you make it!
4. Help other people, take care of loved ones. Like it or not, love begets love, and a good deed always returns to its source.
5. Listen to your inner voice, trust your intuition.
6. Forgive yourself and others. We all know that forgiveness is the best medicine for the soul. We know, but we continue to bear resentment in our hearts for years, destroying ourselves and our lives with this poison.
7. Eliminate forever from your being such phenomena as laziness and fear. They are the main obstacles on the road to happiness. Laziness arises because you cannot be transported to another life with one click. To do this, you need to work incessantly, constantly act, which you really don’t want to do. But fear can only lead to the fact that, without daring to step into a new life, you will have to end the old one, without knowing what real happiness and joy are.
8. Don't beat yourself up if something doesn't work out.. It is better to praise for efforts and encourage further action, rather than assure yourself of your own worthlessness and abandon all your undertakings.
9. Accept what can't be changed. Leave it alone. And then so you can all your best years spend on fighting what isn't worth it.
10. Need to live own life, not someone else's. Therefore, you should determine your true desires and goals, and go only towards them, and not fulfill someone else's will imposed from outside.
11. End the day right. Never lie down in bad mood and in no case do not swear with loved ones before going to bed. Go to bed on time, even if you feel that you still have the strength to work. You'll get it right in the morning.
12. Remember that there is always the potential inside to change your life for the better.. And for this you don’t need “tomorrow”, “Monday”, “when I lose weight”, etc. You can and should start right now!

Go back to your wishlist. Review it again and know that all of this is achievable. But you need to understand that even the most shabby dream will remain so if you do nothing and continue to live in the power of stereotypes. Expand the boundaries of your consciousness, learn, develop, change yourself. And then amazing changes will not keep you waiting.

A must watch video on how to change your life. "Instruction for Life"

For each person, changing one's own nature is not an easy task, but it is the transformation of oneself that can bring huge benefits and pluses.

In today's article, I want to move away from business topics a little. I hope that you understand that it is often not the tools, knowledge and technical aspects that bring you closer to the result.

Below you will find tips on how to change yourself and become a better person.

1. In order to change, you must have a strong desire to get closer to your ideal.

Don't expect the Universe to do everything for you and one day your life will change on its own.Find the benefits that self-improvement will bring to you, this will help strengthen your aspirations. Consciously choose a better life for yourself, and go for it.

Stop clinging to past hurts, failures, and despair. Wish to become happy, understand the need to overcome your own weaknesses and fears.

2. You cannot change your own character by believing yourself to be perfect.

Only when you sincerely admit your own imperfections and wish to change will this become possible. inner desire for a better life will allow you to abandon bad thoughts, sadness and negativity.

How to change yourself - get rid of harmful thoughts, sadness and negativity. You must radiate the energy of positivity and joy of life.

3. The inner world of a person cannot change overnight.

In working on oneself, there must be stability in achieving results. You must constantly reject the negative ones. Always remember that you want to achieve great results.

When your thoughts are running in a negative direction and you feel ready to give up, immediately shake yourself up and pull yourself together to get on the right path.

Watch the Video: 5 Productivity Secrets

Here's the deal: I've been at zero a few times, come back to life a few times, I've done it over and over again. I started new careers. The people who knew me then don't know me now. Etc.

I started my career from scratch several times. Sometimes - because my interests changed. Sometimes - because all the bridges were burned without a trace, and sometimes because I desperately needed money. And sometimes it was because I hated everyone at my previous job or they hated me.

There are other ways to reinvent yourself, so take my words with a grain of salt. This is what worked in my case. I've seen it work for about a hundred other people. From interviews, from letters that have been written to me over the past 20 years. You can try - or not.

1. Change never ends

Every day you rediscover yourself. You are always on the move. But every day you decide where exactly you are moving: forward or backward.

2. Start with a clean slate

All your past labels are just vanity. Have you been a doctor? An Ivy League graduate? Owned millions? Did you have a family? Nobody cares. You have lost everything. You are zero. Don't try to say that you are more than that.

3. You need a mentor

Otherwise, you will go under. Someone has to show you how to move and breathe. But don't worry about looking for a mentor (see below).

4. Three types of mentors

Straight. Someone who is ahead of you, who will show you how he got it. What does "this" mean? Wait. By the way, the mentors don't look like Jackie Chan's character in The Karate Kid. Most mentors will hate you.

Indirect. Books. Films. You can get 90% of the instructions from books and other materials. 200-500 books equate to a good mentor. When people ask me, “What is a good book to read?” - I do not know what to answer them. There are 200–500 good books which are worth reading. I would turn to inspirational books. Whatever you believe in, strengthen your beliefs with daily reading.

Anything can be a mentor. If you are nobody and want to re-create yourself, everything you look at can become a metaphor for your desires and goals. The tree you see, with its roots out of sight and the groundwater that feeds it, is a metaphor for programming if you tie the dots together. And everything you look at will "connect the dots".

5. Don't Worry If Nothing Excites You

You care about your health. Start with it. Take small steps. You don't need passion to succeed. Do your job with love, and success will become a natural symptom.

6. Time it takes to reinvent yourself: five years

Here is a description of those five years.

Year 1: You wallow and read everything and just start doing something.

Year 2: You know who you need to talk to and keep working with. You do something every day. You finally understand what the map of your own game of Monopoly looks like.

Third year: You are good enough to start making money. But so far, perhaps not enough to earn a living.

Fourth year: You provide for yourself well.

Year 5: You make a fortune.

Sometimes I got frustrated in the first four years. I asked myself, "Why hasn't this happened yet?" - He beat his fist on the wall and broke his arm. It's okay, just keep going. Or stop and choose a new field of activity. It does not matter. Someday you will die, and then it will be really difficult to change.

7. If you do it too fast or too slow, then something is wrong.

A good example is Google.

8. It's not about the money

But money is a good measure. When people say, "It's not about the money," they need to be sure they have some other unit of measure. "How about just doing what you love?" There will be many days ahead when you don't like what you do. If you do it from pure love, it will take much more than five years. Happiness is just a positive reaction from your brain. Some days you will be unhappy. Your brain is just a tool, it does not define who you are.

9. When can you say, "I'm doing X"? When does X become your new profession?

10. When can I start doing X?

Today. If you want to paint, buy a canvas and paints today, start buying 500 books one by one and paint pictures. If you want to write, do the following three things:

Read

If you want to start your own business, start coming up with an idea for a business. Rebuilding yourself starts today. Every day.

11. When will I earn money?

In a year, you will put 5,000-7,000 hours into this business. That's good enough to put you in the top 200-300 in the world in any major. Getting into the top 200 almost always provides a livelihood. By the third year, you will understand how to make money. By the fourth - you will be able to increase turnover and provide for yourself. Some stop there.

12. By the fifth year, you will be in the top 30-50, so you can make a fortune.

13. How to determine what is mine?

Any area in which you are able to read 500 books. Go to the bookstore and find her. If you get bored after three months, go back to the bookstore. Getting rid of illusions is normal, this is the meaning of defeat. Success is better than failure, but the most important lessons we are defeated. Very important: do not rush. For my interesting life you can change yourself many times over. And fail many times. It's fun too. These attempts will turn your life into a story book, not a textbook. Some people want their life to be a textbook. Mine is a story book, good or bad. Therefore, changes occur every day.

14. The decisions you make today will be in your biography tomorrow.

Accept interesting solutions and you will have an interesting biography.

15. The decisions you make today will become part of your biology.

16. What if I like something exotic? Biblical archeology or 11th century wars?

Repeat the above steps and by the fifth year you will be rich. We don't know how. There is no need to look for the end of the path when you are only taking the first steps.

17. What if my family wants me to become an accountant?

How many years of your life did you promise to give to your family? Ten? All life? Then wait next life. You choose.

Choose freedom, not family. Freedom, not prejudice. Freedom, not government. Freedom, not the satisfaction of other people's requests. Then you will satisfy yours.

18. My mentor wants me to follow his path.

This is fine. Learn his way. Then do it your way. Sincerely.

Luckily no one puts a gun to your head. Then you would have to comply with his demands until he lowers the gun.

19. My husband (wife) is worried: who will take care of our children?

The man who changes himself always finds free time. Part of changing yourself is finding moments and reshaping them the way you would like to use them.

20. What if my friends think I'm crazy?

What are these friends?

21. What if I want to be an astronaut?

It's not about changing yourself. This is a specific profession. If you like space, there are many professions. Richard Branson wanted to be an astronaut and created Virgin Galactic.

22. What if I enjoy drinking and hanging out with friends?

Read this post again in a year.

23. And if I'm busy? Am I cheating on my spouse or betraying my partner?

Read this post again in two or three years, when you're broke, out of a job, and everyone is turning their backs on you.

24. What if I can't do anything at all?

Read point 2 again.

25. What if I don't have a diploma or it's useless?

Read point 2 again.

26. What if I need to focus on paying off a mortgage or other loan?

Read point 19 again.

27. Why do I always feel like an outsider?

Albert Einstein was an outsider. No one in authority would have hired him. Everyone feels like an impostor sometimes. Greatest creativity born out of skepticism.

28. I can't read 500 books. Name one book to read for inspiration

Then you can immediately give up.

29. What if I'm too sick to change myself?

Change will spur production useful substances in your body: serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin. Move forward, and you may not get well at all, but you will get healthier. Don't use health as an excuse.

Finally, rebuild your health first. Sleep more. Eat better. Go in for sports. These are the key steps to change.

30. What if my partner set me up and I'm still suing him?

Drop the lawsuit and never think about him again. Half the problem was you.

31. And if they put me in jail?

Perfectly. Re-read point 2. Read more books in prison.

32. And if I'm a timid person?

Make weakness your strength. Introverts are better at listening and concentrating, they know how to arouse sympathy.

33. What if I can't wait five years?

If you plan to stay alive in five years, you can start today.

34. How to make contacts?

Build concentric circles. You must be in the middle. The next circle is friends and family. Then there are online communities. Then - people whom you know from informal meetings and tea parties. Then - conference participants and opinion leaders in their field. Then there are mentors. Then - customers and those who make money. Start making your way through these circles.

35. What if my ego gets in the way of what I do?

After six months or a year, you will return to point 2.

36. What if I am passionate about two things at once? And I can't choose?

Combine them and you will be the best in the world for this combination.

37. What if I'm so passionate that I want to teach others what I'm learning myself?

Read lectures on YouTube. Start with a one-person audience and see if it grows.

38. What if I want to earn money in my sleep?

In the fourth year, start outsourcing what you do.

39. How to find mentors and experts?

Once you have accumulated enough knowledge (after 100-200 books), write 10 ideas for 20 different potential mentors.

None of them will answer you. Write 10 more ideas for 20 new mentors. Repeat this every week.

40. What if I can't come up with ideas?

Then practice it. The mental muscles tend to atrophy. They need to be trained.

It will be difficult for me to reach my toes if I don't exercise every day. I have to do this exercise every day for some time before this posture comes easily to me. Don't expect good ideas from day one.

42. What if I do everything you say, but it still doesn't seem to work?

It will turn out. Just wait. Keep changing yourself every day.

Don't try to find the end of the path. You can't see it in the fog. But you can see the next step, and you will understand that if you take it, you will eventually reach the end of the path.

43. What if I start feeling down?

Sit in silence for an hour a day. You need to get back to your core.

If you think this sounds stupid, don't do it. Move on with your depression.

44. And if there is no time to sit in silence?

Then sit in silence for two hours a day. This is not meditation. You just have to sit.

45. And if I get scared?

Sleep 8-9 hours a night and never gossip. Sleep is the first secret good health. Not the only one, but the first. Some people write to me that four hours of sleep is enough for them, or that in their country those who sleep a lot are considered lazy. These people will fail and die young.

When it comes to gossip, our brains are biologically programmed to have 150 friends. And when you hang out with one of your friends, you can gossip about one of the other 150 friends. And if you don't have 150 friends, then the brain will want to read gossip magazines until it looks like it has 150 friends.

Don't be as stupid as your brain.

46. ​​And if everything seems to me that I will never succeed?

Practice gratitude for 10 minutes a day. Don't suppress your fear. Notice your anger.

But also allow yourself to be grateful for what you have. Anger never inspires, but gratitude never inspires. Gratitude is the bridge between your world and parallel universe where all creative ideas live.

47. And if I constantly have to deal with some kind of personal squabbles?

Find other people to be around.

A person who changes himself will constantly meet people who try to suppress him. The brain is afraid of change - it can be unsafe. Biologically, the brain wants you to be safe, and change is a risk. So your brain will give you people trying to stop you.

Learn to say no.

48. What if I'm happy at my office job?

49. Why should I trust you? You've failed so many times

Don't trust me.

50. Will you be my mentor?

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