Do I need to get rid of the complexes. How to get rid of complexes? The initial stage of the process of getting rid of complexes

Previously, about some girl who is unhappy with her appearance, they said: “Yes, she has complexes!”. And they were right, since almost all people on the planet have these notorious and cunning complexes. But someone manages to live a full life with them, and for someone "cockroaches in the head" become a real problem.

Complexes. What are they like?

Different psychological schools classify complexes differently. For example, Freud believed that the complex is a natural stage in the development of the personality, especially if it is sexual. In life, most often, you can meet the following manifestations of complexes:

• Victim. This complex can be called the apotheosis of human confusion. People with its manifestations seriously believe that they do not influence anything in this world, anyone can offend them, take away something valuable;
• Guilt. The words from the famous song “guilty without guilt” well reflect the essence of this complex. Possessing such "cockroaches", a person blames himself for many mistakes that he made personally, or made by his relatives;
• Injustice. The world is diverse, and someone wants equality for everyone, not realizing that this is impossible. And suffers from it, feeling underestimated;
• bodily imperfections. A very common complex, which for many comes to the point of absurdity. For example, a guy does not wear sandals in summer because of crooked toes, and a girl paints her eyes too brightly and grotesquely, trying to enlarge them.

The above postulates are the most common, but not the only manifestations of psychological problems. Indeed, experts believe that complexes need to be fought. But first you need to understand the mechanism of their occurrence.

How complexes are born in our head?

A psychologically healthy and not suspicious person, even in childhood, relies on the opinions of significant figures for her, and the rest passes by her ears. What mom and dad said is important. The rest can say whatever they want. But at school, the situation is drastically changing. There, the center of significance shifts to a beloved teacher and friends.

So, if Baba Klava from the third entrance shouts to the girl from the balcony about her full figure, the girl will smile and move on. And if dad (a significant figure) unsuccessfully jokes about being overweight, then his subconscious will write down his words in a special evaluation department forever.

It is more difficult for those people who initially have a weak inner core. They pay too much attention to the opinions of others. And, as a result, they become overgrown with complexes.

These people did not receive love and recognition in childhood. They were often compared to others. They were given a negative rating. They ridiculed and criticized. Or, on the contrary, they put too much pressure on them, taking care of them. Such methods of education are not reflected in the development of the child's personality in the best way. People who grew up in an environment of criticism, guardianship and rejection have wrong ideas about themselves. Their imagination paints a pitiful picture of worthlessness, where they are the main characters.

With such a childhood, it is best not to rely on your own experience, but to find people who can give a person love and warmth. Tell him about his strengths and weaknesses objectively. With a strong notoriety, it is necessary to contact a competent specialist to solve personal psychological problems.

In many situations, a person can help himself get rid of the complexes himself. But those cases that develop into disturbing and poorly controlled states (for example, a tick) require the intervention of professionals.

How to get rid of complexes on your own?

Easy to say, but hard to do. After all, this is not a change in lipstick color, but to convince yourself that everything is fine and wonderful. To get rid of complexes on your own, you can use the following techniques:

1. Think positively. A person sees his imperfections, but in vain he forgets about his merits. You need to write down all your positive aspects on a piece of paper, and re-read this list every day;
2. Accept the diversity of the world. When once again you want to complain about small stature, cellulite or lack of skills, you need to remember those people who, having less potential, were able to achieve a lot. After all, disabled people go in for sports, and women with a modest appearance successfully marry. You just need to find positive examples in your environment or among famous people in time;
3. Use an objective approach. If a man has a complex about crooked teeth, he can go to the dentist to correct them. But if he regularly complains that he does not look like Allen Delon, then he does not know how to evaluate himself objectively. In any appearance it is possible to find your pluses and emphasize them;
4. Work hard. Many complexes dissolve like soap bubbles when we make an effort and correct what does not suit us. For example, we sign up for the pool. Or attending style lessons;
5. Raise self-esteem. People with good self-esteem love themselves too much. And do not think about any complexes. Today there are a huge number of trainings, meditations, techniques that can help increase self-esteem;
6. Forget about comparisons. By comparing ourselves to others, we devalue ourselves. Let's downplay our importance. Do you think that the cover star is a million times cooler than you? Then think about why this celebrity needs an army of stylists, makeup artists, nutritionists, plastic surgeons and one excellent specialist who has the skills to work in Photoshop?

What to do if you can’t get rid of the complexes on your own? It is worth contacting a psychologist. Or come to grips with personal growth and self-development. Competent professionals in their field do not care much about their forms, sociability or wardrobe. They know that a developed personality is the only way to harmony and peace within.

Celebrity complexes. What are the stars afraid of?

Famous personalities are also prone to complexes, like mere mortals. Scarlett Johansson is shy about her legs. She believes that they are not long enough for her. Kristen Stewart worries about big ears. Britney Spears claims her hair is too thick. Sarah Jessica Parker is unhappy with the shape of her own hands.

Vince Vaughn's missing part of his thumb hasn't stopped him from becoming an actor, but he has a complex about his injury. Daniel Radcliffe has always dreamed of growing up a little. And Ryan Reynolds is unhappy with chubby cheeks, as well as the lack of pronounced cheekbones.

The presence of complexes in the stars only says that no one is perfect. It's just that some people struggle with their shortcomings, emphasize their merits, and present themselves to the world as individuals. And others prefer to whine that they are not like everyone else and do nothing.

Almost every person has their own complexes. Usually they are perceived as certain character traits that make the individual feel inferior. In fact, the complex should be considered as a system of character traits, thoughts, reactions and other manifestations, which ultimately lead to a decrease in and.

Everyone wants to feel harmonious, happy, satisfied and complete. But as it turns out, this still needs to come. Usually people complex for various reasons. And it all starts from childhood, when all the existing complexes are nurtured.

It is difficult to say what the complex is, but it is easy to feel it. is not something pleasant for a person, so many would like to get rid of it.

How to get rid of complexes?

Complexes are usually formed not by the reader of the online magazine site, but by his environment. First, the complexes are nurtured by parents, then by friends, educators and teachers, and finally, the rest of the people that a person encounters are connected. To get rid of complexes, you should change your attitude towards yourself. How to do it?

Consider the person as a whole. In other words, you should always remember that in the person that you like something, there is bound to be some trait that you will definitely not like. If you look at yourself, this rule also applies. You just do not notice this feature now for some reason. But you will be mistaken if you consider someone better or worse, because one person can be good in one thing, and another in another.

For example, people usually compare each other: “Masha has such a cool husband: he does this and that. And you ... Igor is so lucky: his wife loves him and is faithful to him. And you…". People see only the good that they do not receive from those from whom they expect the same. But at the same time, they may not notice that Masha's husband can be rude to her, and Igor's wife is constantly jealous of him, which those people who are compared with them do not do.

It should be understood that all people have their own shortcomings and advantages. And the person who does not give you something is not bad just because he has one negative trait. In the same way, another person cannot be good that he does not have the same negative trait. Consider people as a complex: they have different advantages and disadvantages. You may not get along with another person, even if he gives you something that the previous partner did not give, because he will be bad at what you had before. Therefore, do not consider your neighbor as the worst just because he has some flaws, because even in those people with whom you compare them, you can also find flaws.

Thus, complexes are formed when people begin to compare a particular person with others. There are "best" and "worst". The “worst” acquire complexes, as they themselves and the surrounding society focus on their shortcomings. What a pity, but all people have flaws, even the “best” ones!

How to get rid of complexes and become self-confident?

Complexes are formed when you focus on your shortcomings. This can be done by people around (for example, parents or a loved one). The more often and more you pay attention to what you are imperfect in, the less energy and desire you have for active actions.

But it is actions that help a person to achieve something and improve. If you think more about your shortcomings, you lose confidence in yourself. You are incapable of taking actions that will help you achieve success, because if you are a failure, then you are not capable of doing anything good.

Thinking about your shortcomings makes you a failure in your actions. You simply do not commit them, because you do not believe in your own success. As a result, you achieve nothing, which again confirms the fact of your failure. How to get rid of complexes and become more confident?

Start with the fact that you will adequately evaluate yourself. You have flaws, we believe. But all people have flaws, even those who notice them in you. Moreover, in addition to disadvantages, you also have advantages. Why don't you pay attention to them? You definitely have them, you just forgot to notice and appreciate them in yourself.

Adequate attitude towards oneself is the ability to see one's strengths and weaknesses and calmly respond to them. Do not exalt your virtues and shortcomings, do not make your flaws the property of condemnation and criticism. Allow yourself to be imperfect, because that is what makes you a unique person.

Know your strengths and weaknesses. If you can’t fight something, then just start accepting it in yourself. Yes, you are somewhat weak and inept. Accept yourself as such. In simple terms, this can be called self-love.

Many people ask themselves: how to love yourself? After all, even life shows that without self-love it is impossible to achieve much and please other people. Moreover, a person may face such a problem as criticism of others: how to calmly respond to criticism of other people in his address? Surprisingly, self-love and a calm reaction to criticism are interconnected. How exactly? They are united by the shortcomings that exist in a person.

Everyone has such qualities and features that he considers imperfect in himself. Certain traits and properties become shortcomings only because the person himself considers them as such. He begins to notice weaknesses in himself when he sees that his actions and decisions do not give the result that he would like to receive. But these properties are not shortcomings, it's just that the person himself does not know how to use the qualities and features given to him at the right time and in the right place.

There are no flaws in a person. He himself makes shortcomings out of some of his properties, or simply does not know how to correctly use the qualities given to him. And you need to understand this, realize it, even learn how to use your flaws so that they become virtues, because of which you love yourself.

The best way to love yourself and be calm about the criticism of other people is to know your shortcomings and understand the true motives of your actions, emotions, spontaneous actions. These often become stoppers, internal limitations and delusions, fears, doubts, complexes, etc.

You don't have to ignore your shortcomings. No need to look for excuses for your flaws. Get to know yourself on both the good and the bad side. This will allow you to love yourself, because you will learn to accept yourself, to understand the causes of certain shortcomings. This will allow you to calmly respond to the criticism of others, because you yourself know yourself both from the good side and from the bad side, therefore you will agree with objective criticism, and reject the biased one, because the other person is mistaken in his conclusions about you.

Parents should understand that they are the cause of the development of complexes in their children. In order not to lower self-esteem and not to cultivate self-doubt, one should stop comparing the child with other children, focus on his shortcomings, and constantly remind him of them. Love your child, try to develop the best qualities in him, in particular, love for yourself.

Everyone needs to be aware of their strengths and weaknesses. If you want, you can fight them, eliminate them. And you can just accept them, leave them to yourself. Just don't make a tragedy out of the fact that you didn't turn out to be a superhuman.

How to get rid of the victim complex?

A common complex is the complex of the victim - a person who constantly suffers from external aggressive influences. It seems to him that the whole world has taken up arms against him, although in fact, many may simply not care about this person. The victim herself attracts trouble by her appearance or actions, forcing people to behave aggressively or in any other negative way.

The victim herself provokes her tyrants to negative behavior. If everything is good, she feels uncomfortable, so she begins to behave in a way that causes negative behavior in others. Of course, the victim begins to complain about the anger and aggressiveness of the people around him, causing pity only among those who do not know him well.

The features of the victim are:

1. Inability to enjoy life (sometimes she deprives everyone around her of this joy).
2. Sacrifice - she sacrifices herself for the sake of other people (often later this leads to the fact that she begins to demand a sacrificial position in relation to herself).
3. Irresponsibility - the victim does not take responsibility, others are always to blame for everything.
4. Submission to other people - this allows the victim not to take responsibility.
5. Giving up your own life for the sake of getting pity from the people around you.

To get rid of the victim complex, you need to stop behaving accordingly, that is, remove the qualities of the victim in yourself. Start taking responsibility, stop complaining about others, accept your mistakes and clean them up, stop demanding only good and kind from the world.

The victim complex is the exactingness of the world and other people so that they behave only in a kind and good way. Otherwise, the victim often turns into a "tyrant", "saw" or "annoying person", who demands, and forces, and even punishes disobedience.

How to get rid of an inferiority complex?

Equally common is an inferiority complex. Often a person compares himself with other people and notices what shortcomings he has. Habitually, a person compares himself with others in order to note what he is bad at. To do this, he chooses people who really succeeded in something and turn out to be better than him.

To get rid of the inferiority complex, you should stop comparing yourself with other people. If you want, you can always find individuals who are superior to you in some way. But the situation becomes ridiculous if you do not pay attention to other people who are worse than you in some parameters and qualities.

A one-sided perception of yourself cultivates an inferiority complex in you. How to get rid of it? Start developing yourself, stop comparing yourself with other people, love yourself for who you are. Despite the fact that you feel your inferiority, you have always been a complete person at any age. Change your attitude! See your uniqueness and usefulness.

How to get rid of the complex about appearance?

The perception of one's own appearance begins from adolescence. It is during this period that each person begins to critically evaluate himself from the standpoint of how perfect his body is and how attractive he is. Sometimes people get stuck in this state, continuing to carry a complex about appearance in their older years.

The complex lies in the fact that a person is dissatisfied with his appearance. He considers himself too thin, fat, sick, weak, ugly in appearance, etc. And if we follow how this happens, we can note that here again a comparison takes place. A person compares his body with the bodies of other people, most often with top models, actresses or actors. Since the media industry always presents its artists in the best possible light, a person seems to be a freak.

The complex about appearance is the desire to meet certain standards and the unwillingness to perceive your body as it is given by nature. There are people who adequately evaluate their appearance, noticing that they have gained too much weight or lost weight. Some flaws can be eliminated with makeup or hairstyles. But sometimes people go for plastic surgery, bringing themselves to such a state when they no longer transform themselves, but disfigure themselves.

The complex about appearance is very scrupulous. It can be eliminated only with a psychologist, since a person himself can rarely stop.

Outcome

Complexes are often destructive. They push a person to actions that again make him see his shortcomings. The complex cannot be eliminated at the physical level. All complexes are in a person's head. It is there that you need to carry out a “general cleaning”.

Sections of the article:

I sometimes tend to be driven about myself. Of course, because I’m a person and cockroaches sometimes slip through me, and in modern conditions of life you need to know how to confidently cope with yourself ... or they will peck, moreover, themselves.

Before you start getting rid of the complexes, you should understand the concept itself.

For the most part, they are far-fetched and represent some kind of framework or restrictions set for a model of behavior, appearance, and even a form of communication. Some problems are successfully, and sometimes purposefully, imposed by society, but most are the fruit of their own efforts. They mercilessly hit self-esteem, so the path to a happy and free life is possible only through getting rid of this disease. How to get rid of complexes and become self-confident?

Understanding the problem is the key to solving it

The first and most difficult step is to acknowledge the existence of the problem, in particular your fears. This is largely helped by the search for the root cause, which can be shocking, but such a “shake-up” is simply necessary. This is an unpleasant process, comparable to the opening of an abscess: the wound will heal only after it has been cleaned of pus. Delaying the start of the painful procedure will only aggravate the condition, so you need to start right now. To become confident, you need to be able to clearly analyze yourself, your actions and deeds. This is not typical of people. Usually we swim in the stream of life from day to day and rely on fate. This is not our way. Understand yourself, only you yourself are able to save yourself from all misfortunes, this is how the world works.

Feelings of inferiority

The most powerful weapon that affects a person on the physical and psychological levels. Disrespectful attitude towards oneself, lack of confidence, low self-esteem only become the reasons for the formation of a similar opinion about such a person among the people around him. Often this is perceived as confirmation of one's own opinion, there is a disorientation in causal relationships, which is typical for people with an inferiority complex. The situation is further aggravated by constant failures, pressure from society, and psychological trauma.

Ways to solve the problem:

Compliance with the tips listed below will allow you to effectively get rid of the inferiority complex.

1. First, from the list of your closest associates, you should exclude people who feed the problem in every possible way (by actions, words, behavior). Become self-confident - associate with positive and good people. Down with whiners and energy vampires. They will assure you to stay - do not be fooled. If you want change in your life, burn bridges.
2. Second, give yourself an objective assessment as a person. To do this, you can use a piece of paper divided into two parts: one for achievements and positive traits, the other for failures, bad habits and everything negative. It should not be scary that the second column turned out to be much longer than the first. It needs to be reviewed several times (perhaps with some kind of break), crossing out contrived shortcomings until the facts that correspond to reality remain in it. The first column will also have to be re-read, but in order to increase self-esteem. Focusing on good qualities and successful deeds will definitely give a positive result. At first, it is better to pronounce it out loud in a loud, clear voice.
3. In parallel with this, you should work on the shortcomings. The feeling of inferiority gives rise to dissatisfaction with one's body and personal qualities of a person. Therefore, it is important to start loving yourself and a good reason for this will be sports, body care procedures. Filling gaps in studies, dealing with blockages at work are also effective ways to increase self-esteem.
4. In such a situation, motivation and encouragement are extremely important, so a list with new achievements a la “success diary” will not be superfluous. Each victory, even if it seems insignificant, must be written down in a notebook and become a source of pride. Addressing yourself, for example, in front of a mirror, with warm and encouraging words, also helps a lot. It doesn't work, do you want to cry? Forward! Confidently let your emotions out, but do not stop trying until the reflection begins to smile at you and look with tenderness.

Dissatisfaction with the figure and appearance

If you lose weight, rejuvenate your skin and have a toned body, you can forget about problems forever. If yes, if only ... Thin ones dream of gaining weight, plump ones dream of losing it, straight hair is better than curls, curly hair needs to be straightened. What kind of problems people do not invent for themselves! Even the shape of the nails and that can be the cause of a state on the verge of depression. You can endlessly search for new "flaws" of this kind and be content with a miserable existence. But haven't you already suffered enough, paying for it with years of your life?

Solutions:

The first and most effective method is to change your wardrobe and image, preferably a radical one. Maybe it's all about hair color or hairstyle? Perhaps you are more suited to the classic style of clothing or, conversely, extravagant? You need to experiment with appearance until a satisfactory option is found, until confidence is added. Helps a lot!

Praise, compliments, encouragement from others is an excellent means of motivation. In most cases, these already exist, but a person who is focused on his shortcomings simply does not notice them, at worst he perceives them as a mockery. Pay attention to others, in their compliments they will tell you the right direction on the path to self-esteem. Has anyone been struck by your eyes? Look in the mirror, because they are really unusually beautiful, they have some special brilliance that you did not notice before. Isn't your smile beautiful?

Another effective method is to compare flavors. For example, being in a large company, you can ask several people a question about their opinion about the most beautiful woman or man from among those present. Surprisingly, opinions will be different, and sometimes opposite. This proves the well-known truth that everyone has their own concept of beauty. So is it worth striving for recognized standards, if in fact there are none or they are simply imposed by someone?

Flaws can be found in every person. The only question is, is it necessary to focus on this, if the opinion about it is subjective? For example, a slender girl may consider herself too thin, but at the same time cause enthusiastic looks from others. People see her as graceful and sophisticated, maybe she should look at herself from their point of view? And how many modern men are crazy about magnificent forms! There are much more of them than the fair sex can imagine.

Pay attention to your friends (real, faithful) and loved ones, when they look at you, you can see tenderness, love and care in their eyes. They do not want to change anything in you, but they will always support you in your endeavors, if we are not talking about debilitating diets and increased stress that can jeopardize your health. An active lifestyle will not interfere, good nutrition and the simplest procedures for caring for your appearance are a reliable foundation for a new happy life for a person who has got rid of heaviness.

Complicated Relationships

Victim Complex

People with such “baggage” tend to blame others for all their troubles. They perceive the whole world in black or gray colors, all the time they are in tense expectation of a new portion of difficulties and failures. Often it seems to them that everyone around them deliberately gets on their nerves, drives them to hysterics with ridiculous demands and uses them for their own selfish purposes. People are not trusted, because they are all "not as simple as they want to seem." Did you recognize yourself in this description? How to get rid of complexes? It's time to act!

• We are radically changing our position from a victim to a winner who managed to overcome all obstacles, survive grief, turmoil and a lot of problems. After all the blows of fate that really destroyed the familiar world, you cannot allow cockroaches to destroy your personality.
• A little "indifference" does not fit anyone, and even more so the victim. We push rush, scandals, stresses into the background. We stop fighting for survival, and begin to live fully. You deserve the best and deep down you know it.

Guilt

• The feeling of guilt is directly related to the feeling of inferiority, and manifests itself as hyper-responsibility to specific people and the world as a whole. It is like a tumor growing imperceptibly, gradually spreading more and more in the body, filling more and more space. Everything should have a limit, a sense of guilt for an offense or an unfair treatment of a person - this is natural. But many "misdemeanors" are simply invented. No need to take on the burden of responsibility for the whole world. How to avoid feeling guilty?
• If it concerns an actual offense, you just need to apologize to the person and forgive yourself. The last one is the most difficult, but try to justify yourself, for example, by saying that it happened by accident. If you had known in advance the consequences of your actions, you would have acted differently. This is true? So you have the right to forgive yourself.
• Learning to refuse people without guilt is one of the main problems on the way to deliverance. Remember that in principle it is impossible to be good for everyone, I will not assure you of this, just believe me, this is the rule of the universe. If the interlocutor is not able to adequately respond to your refusal, you should think about excluding him from your environment. Other people's interests should not be higher than yours, otherwise there can be no question of any respect. Forming the habit of expressing your point of view will also not be superfluous.

Video

Two options for opinions, very useful videos, I recommend watching. It charges with positive and sets you on the right, confident path, eliminates uncertainty.

Women's opinion:

Male opinion:

Getting rid of your cockroaches is not easy, but your life is at stake. Give yourself a chance to be happy and now you know how to become more confident in yourself. Don't stop trying until the world around you starts to change. Do not hesitate and do not be afraid. Are the ruins on which you are now really worth not changing anything in your life?

What is a complex, what are they, what are they, how do they work, the reasons for the appearance and how to get rid of the complexes. Psychology

Good time!

Have you noticed how your inner state suddenly instantly, automatically (regardless of your will), as if for no reason, switched from a good state to some kind of bad one? At the same time, life as a whole can go well, you don’t have any, but at some moments something happens, and it’s always very similar, which violates internal and external harmony.

What is and what are the complexes

The concept of a complex, from the Latin complex (“connection”, “combination”), appeared in psychology thanks to Carl Gustav Jung and Sigmond Freud, they were the first to introduce this term.

Complexes are formed as a result of psychological trauma, not always, but most often in childhood (some even from birth) due to some events, phenomena, and often not visible at first glance.

In life they always connected with people or some memories in which a person has contacted somewhere, with someone. And unlike beliefs (beliefs and), which are mainly at the conscious level and which we can see, rethink and correct, complexes operate more covertly at a deep level of the psyche.

Almost every person has many different complexes, some complexes have a powerful energy charge and can greatly poison life, others are insignificant and we can hardly feel their influence.

The complex is like a separate person inside living by his own rules, separate part from the whole.

Briefly, what are the complexes

Male and female (for example, the Napoleon complex, the Electra complex). Some complexes have mythological names because the experiences and behavior of a person with this complex exactly or closely corresponds to this character.

Physical (associated with external data, a more acute manifestation -) and psychological (a complex of guilt, fusion, a loser), etc., nevertheless, in all complexes there is a psychological aspect.

Complexes are positive, for example, a complex of a hero or a winner, but more often, they are still negative.

Positive complexes - a hero, a winner or an excellent student can contribute to achieving success in a career, business, sports or some kind of creativity, etc. However, a positive complex does not always have positive consequences, often it can have the opposite effect on the psyche, health and life, depending on which part of the complex the main attention of a person is directed to.

For example, the hero complex, on the one hand, helps to decide on difficult steps, on the other hand, it can lead to negative states and not the best decisions due to a sense of justice.

And vice versa, a negative complex that causes a lot of trouble and anxiety, if a person approaches it correctly, can become a powerful impetus for self-development and success in various areas of life.

What is the complex in the filling

If we talk about the negative ones that poison life, then these are some internal, negative images myself (associations), where, for example, I perceive and feel myself somehow inferior, humiliated, devalued, powerless, flawed, rejected, a loser, and where I don’t like myself, but I can’t get rid of this image.

When the complex “turns on”, in addition to the image and certain thoughts, you can immediately feel some kind of negative, associated with it, familiar feeling (often it is not recognized, without a name), I just feel somehow uncomfortable, awkward, anxious or irritated, but what exactly, what content is hidden behind this state and why, is not recognized.

Essentially, complexes are traumatized pieces of the psyche consisting of frozen figurative memories that are "blinded" by certain feelings, and which unconsciously, periodically appear in certain situations. In this place of the psyche, our inner development stops.

When the complex works, at this moment our psyche, as it were, disintegrates, integrity is lost our self, and with it, the will and inner composure weaken.

This state is experienced as if I have become something else, like a small child (although I may be 20, 30 or 50 years old) in front of something or someone that seems big, big.

At this moment, the gaze closes on one thing, everything shrinks inside, and the real life around seems to freeze. Some kind of state captures and you notice almost nothing except thoughts, images and stuck in the mind. You feel at ease next to people (a person), as if you don’t know where to put yourself and it’s hard to even “squeeze out” a word out of yourself, there is no room for creative actions and fresh thoughts.

This is how the complex works and, depending on its content, we can on the empty place(for no reason) often feel awkward, tight, irritated, etc., in general, some kind of strong feeling that repeats itself from time to time similar situations with certain people and you can't change that.

Moreover, the reaction is always too strong, inadequate for the situation.

Complex formation example

Let's take a classic example to make it clear.

Imagine that at school, somewhere in the 5th grade, the teacher put you up as a delinquent at the blackboard in front of other students and parents, and shamed you for some pranks (no matter what). Moreover, she tried hard from the most, so to speak, good, in her opinion, educational goals.

If your psyche is dependent (as a result of upbringing), then at the blackboard you will most likely be covered by a strong emotional experience. And in the future, you will begin to experience this in different situations with people, where it will concern, for example, your competence at work, etc.

And if you often feel abandoned, even for no apparent reason, it may be because someone previously abandoned you or you were often (for a long time) left alone (oh) in childhood, or you may feel devalued, flawed because someone I used to humiliate you often.

These are examples of more obvious situations in which you might experience severe emotional shock which led to the appearance of the complex, but often there is something completely hidden, for example, something terrible happened before your eyes or you heard something painful for yourself in childhood.

Everything could happen even indirectly, for example, you heard your dad say to your mom in your direction: “Do something so that he (a) shut up, stop crying,” or someone close to you often, without thinking about the consequences, told you : "What kind of a child are you when you are already normal", "stupid look at other children."

Any careless phrase addressed to us when we were children could cause the formation of a complex, because in childhood we perceive everything much more literally and sharper, we still do not have our own opinion, a strong psyche has not been formed, and parents are like “Gods” for us . Imagine, God tells you that he doesn't love you, he doesn't need you or something is wrong with you, teaches you all the time, humiliates you and maybe even beats you.

Sometimes the formation of the complex can be completely hidden, for example, all your childhood you watched the impotence and doom of your mother, and this state was transferred to you. Or your parents idealized you, childhood (youth) went well, and then in life something doesn’t add up at all.

How complexes affect life in general

In short, it takes away freedom and creativity, which negatively affects what is really important.

Because the complexes provoke the same (same), ineffective behavior in situations where they turn on, because of this, life seems to freeze, nothing changes.

For example, you have been dreaming of traveling for a long time, it is possible to create a relationship (family, have a baby), or leave an unloved job and do some kind of your own project and earn money doing what you love, perhaps you dream of your own home or want to get rid of addiction to someone ( something). There is a strong desire, the goals are clear, but all your energy goes to something else, something presses on you (some kind of internal state with certain thoughts, images and feelings) when you are just trying to do something, and you give in to this state by repeating what has been customary before.

How to get rid of complexes. First steps.

1. To get rid of the complex (trauma), as always, you first need to see it (), see at what point something inside you starts to happen, because if you don’t realize that it (something) is, then you won’t do anything , you will simply experience internal discomfort from time to time and not understand where and what.

2. The second step is to return attention to the body. Start observing and relaxing the body, this is an easy to understand and really important step.

With the relaxation of the body, the tightness in the psyche will begin to slowly subside. Move your attention from head to toe, feeling separately the parts of the face, then the back, chest, arms and soles of the feet. Take a deep breath, you can rub your palms or shake your hands in a short movement. This helps to calm down and restore some composure. To get better, I highly recommend starting to do

3. Try (thoughts), it emotionally nourishes the complex. To do this while in a difficult state of inclusion in the complex is not at all easy, many thoughts are even difficult to see, they are so deep in the unconscious, but you need to try and train to do it, in fact, just like with any psychological problems.

4. somehow name the feeling, which captures you, this is the acquaintance with yourself, or rather, with your traumatized image. Ask yourself the question: “What is happening in me now, what feeling am I experiencing?”. Maybe behind the tension and anxiety hides shame, impotence, guilt. Or behind irritation lies anger, envy, resentment, disgust, or the same. The named feeling is already easier to bear, because it becomes understandable, because everything indefinite is experienced more painfully.

5. And the most important thing is to love, care for and respect yourself, and finally stop being too dependent on the opinions of others. As soon as you overcome this in yourself, many complexes will dissolve by themselves.

Do not be afraid to seem somehow different, do not try to please everyone, please yourself as you are with all your "flaws" (features) remembering that you have many virtues.

Believe in yourself, act bolder and speak out loud or to yourself more often, for example: "I deserve the best no matter what", "I am free from complexes", "I am a strong, self-confident person", "I am not afraid of other people's opinions". (just say it even if you don't believe it yet)

Over time, this will begin to become a reality!

At first, it is difficult to resist the complex if it is deep and highly charged, it can become a long work, but gradually, if you take care of yourself, it gets better and better to influence (regulate) your state.

It is also important to know that if some crises, difficult situations and illnesses arise in a person’s life that weaken the body and psyche, the influence of the complexes increases and vice versa, when the general condition improves, the complexes weaken.

P.S. I wish you success in all that is good, and if you wish to better understand your condition and start solving the problem without wasting time, you can sign up for a consultation and we will personally meet on Skype so that you begin to gain more calmness, confidence, energy and be able to apply it is to get what you want in life.

Sincerely, Andrey Russkikh.

Good afternoon, dear readers of the Tvoya-Life blog. In this article I want to touch on such a topic as human complexes. What is it? Human complexes are a set of psychological and mental states that are expressed in the belief that other people are superior to them in some way.

The main complex of a person is an inferiority complex.

There are several common inferiority complexes:

1 A guilt complex is when a person thinks that he is guilty before everyone and has made many mistakes in his life.

2 Complex of bodily defects. There are a lot of things that fall into this category (small stature, crooked legs, big ears, and so on, everything that a person can imagine in his imagination).

3 Complex of injustice. (I am so-and-so, no one appreciates me, the world is unfair to me.)

4 Victim complex. A person considers himself a victim of circumstances and it is very difficult for him to change anything in this world.

All these complexes greatly complicate a person's life. For example, a person with a guilt complex will never restore communication with people whom he has offended with something. Though it may just be his own idea. But how can a person who is worried about his fullness meet a girl or a guy? Therefore, we need to do our best to get rid of our complexes.

How to get rid of inferiority complexes:

1 The first tip, and probably the most important one, is to determine where all our complexes come from. Because there is no smoke without fire, and if you have a complex about your excess weight, then you probably still need to reconsider your diet and, and only then deal with psychology.

2 You need to look at things from a different angle. All people in this world are not perfect, and everyone has their own flaws and virtues. But the difference between them is that some focus on their merits, while the latter, on the contrary, notice only their shortcomings. Therefore, you need to try to find the good in yourself, engage in self-development and correct the shortcomings that you have.

3 The third advice for getting rid of complexes will be this - in front of public opinion. You should not always do something with an eye on the opinions of others, no matter how trite it may sound, but they do not care about you, they are all busy with their own problems. So take everything in this life easier, do not be afraid to seem ridiculous or ridiculous, and the complexes will soon leave you.

4 and believe in yourself and your strengths. Moreover, it is not so difficult as it seems at first glance. Develop only positive qualities in yourself, and my advice is to take up some kind of martial arts. This greatly raises confidence in yourself and your abilities.

5 It is also necessary to actively act and fight against your complexes. Psychological training by itself will not help to get rid of the complexes, for this you need certain practical actions. If you have a complex about the fact that you can’t talk to a stranger, then you need to take it and do it - communicate with strangers. And if you are not satisfied with your sagging belly, and you are very complex about this (after all, there are such fat people, but they behave like Apollos), then run to the gym.

6 Love life. Remember, you need to rejoice at every new day, because life is so fleeting and you never know how much of it is still allotted to us, so there is no need to fall into despondency and sadness. Fighting complexes should be pleasant and easy - then they will retreat forever.

I wish you success in the fight against your complexes and good luck.

Subscribe to updates via E-Mail so as not to miss a lot of interesting material, which I will continue to supply to my dear subscribers. Thank you!