What to do if you want to change your life. How to change for the better? Changing fate and character

"I can't do anything!" - a person who decides to improve or change his life exclaims with sadness, running his eyes over a piece of paper where all his Napoleonic plans. In a couple of months you need to have time to change jobs, lose twenty kilograms excess weight, do redecorating in an apartment, find something to your liking, go to rest ... The goals set are noble and lofty, but in real life they are nearly impossible. Especially at the same time.

Why? Because the constant stay in the tight, ruthless framework of time and deeds does not allow breathing, moving forward. There is no room for imagination. The funny thing is that we ourselves narrow the boundaries of our lives to narrow limits, naively believing that this will help us succeed more quickly.

But not a single, even the smallest change in life is easy. It takes a lot of effort to study foreign language and start memorizing at least five words a day. And in order to drop three extra pounds without harm to health, you need to give up your favorite treats, choose a balanced diet for yourself, start playing sports, and not just start starving or, conversely, put off losing weight for better times. At this rate, they are unlikely to come.

To change jobs, you need to work long and hard, develop, and be in constant search. Rarely is this issue solved easily, by magic. Although ... The wand is in our hands. You just need to activate it.
But before starting a long journey, I would like to analyze the mistakes that people so often make when they decide to change their lives.

Mistake No. 1: Desire to achieve ALL of your goals in a clearly defined time frame.
A typical and most tragic mistake. It is typical because almost everyone does it, and tragic because it can break all hopes and dreams without the possibility of recovery.

The desire to change the quality of life, to reach a new level appears when there is a sharp need for it, the realization that it is urgent to take some action will rush forward. Right now. At this moment. Immediately appear in the imagination perfect images that you want to transfer to the material world, to realize, without spending a lot of nerves, time and effort.

You make a long list of items with sub-items (quit, or etc.) set yourself deadlines and ... Don't know what to do next. After all, there are many goals, the implementation of each will take a lot of time, and the plan is not goals, but actions, as a rule, are damp, because it is already much more difficult to work on it.

Enchanted circle. All this happens because of the desire to immediately change life, to get early results.

Mistake #2: Fear of failure.
Fear has big eyes. Yes, the arms are short. However, for some reason, we most often pay attention to the look. Sharp, piercing, a little sly and very cold.

Fear, alas, is our constant companion on the path to success. All the time there are many disturbing questions ... What if it doesn’t work out? What if I can't? Believe in your dreams or not? Is my goal too high? Suddenly not to jump?

Doubts torment the soul, confuse the mind and disturb the heart. You can't get away from them. They can only be crossed. Sharp and bold.

Mistake number 3: Mother laziness.
Bloodthirsty killer of all wonderful dreams and high aspirations.

It often happens like this: you draw up a plan, you firmly decide to fulfill your intentions, but ... Things do not move from a dead center. Because I'm too lazy to start. The first step is the most interesting, but also the most difficult. In order to do it, you need to make a lot of efforts, to activate internal resources, and this requires self-restraint and a desire for change. Then you start to wonder: maybe it will do? After all, I live, I don’t complain about anything ... Of course, there are shortcomings, like everyone else. And where to go from them?

A better question to ask yourself is: Am I satisfied with my life?
You need to answer honestly. Then it becomes clear what to do next.

Mistake #4: Lack of faith in yourself and your dreams.
This item is much more important and more complex in its essence than just shackling fears. After all, fear can be overcome, and without faith in yourself, all undertakings are doomed to failure. No faith, no passion and inspiration. Which means no success.

Mistake #5: Setting the wrong goals.
This happens quite often. A person decides to improve himself, change his life, draws up a plan, but cannot move on because the goals are set incorrectly (how to set them correctly is written in the article: ""). Positions that are not priority are put forward in the first lines.

For example, you start learning a foreign language... Your soul lies in French, but you, ignoring your own spiritual aspiration, take up English. Because it is international, which means it is more in demand and popular. As a result, there is neither inspiration nor motivation. And the fruits, if any, are not at all juicy and tasty.

The fact is that you need to carefully prioritize, to separate true pearls from just shiny pebbles. Then the goals will surely be achieved.

… And now let's think together about the steps that need to be taken in order to begin the process of self-development, improvement, and changing your life for the better.

Step #1: The most important.
We define the goal. You need to be very careful not to make the above mistakes. You have decided to change your life. It means that something in it does not suit you, it causes discomfort. What exactly? You should not list all the cons and nuances, try to focus on the most important thing, prioritize. What needs to be pursued right now, and what else can wait? What goal has been asking for a long time from the world of dreams to the material world? What exactly will motivate you to conquer new heights? I suggest doing this: write down all the goals, and then bright color pick three.

But let them not be equal in value. They will not be equally large, otherwise the process may be delayed. Be guided by the principle from small to large. Let the first goal be quite serious (for example, finding a new job), the second one is a little easier (say, overcoming the Beginner level in learning a foreign language within two months), and the third one is quite pleasant, but also requiring effort. Learn to find time for sleep and rest, interesting activities and communication with loved ones. This, too, needs to be given due attention!

So, the third task will help you stay in good shape during the implementation of task number 1. And the second task will give self-confidence, because it is quite easy to achieve it. It just takes a little effort :)

The rest of the points of your global plan should not be forgotten either. But you don't have to take on everything at once. Will not work.

Step #2: Develop a step-by-step action plan.
Without taking this step, you cannot move on. There are three tasks before you. You need to "cut" them. As they say, divide the words into frogs. Each goal requires at least five points. The more steps, the easier it is to walk.

Step 3: Do it, but slowly.
No need to rush anywhere. You will definitely have time to do everything! After all, Moscow was also not built right away, but now it is so beautiful :)

There should definitely be a time frame, don't narrow it down to rigid boundaries. Let there be room for imagination, creativity and gifts of life.

It is better to give yourself time with a decent margin in order to be in time. And if you don't, then blame yourself. By the way, you should not set too long time intervals either, because in this way you can go to achieve your high goal forever!

Step #4: Holyly, sincerely, passionately believe in your dreams. Do not give up.
Failures are bound to happen. Nothing without this. But ignore your own doubts. Remember, you are the most wonderful and wonderful person. You will definitely succeed. Just believe!!!

Step #5: Relax.
Many people, having set a goal for themselves, begin to “go in cycles” in it. It won't lead to anything good, of course. Give yourself a break. Sometimes you need to take a step back to look at your work, think, admire, and take three giant steps forward.

Everything is very simple and easy. Any phenomenon of life and manifestation of personality can be changed and improved. Remember: Magic wand in your hands!

Good afternoon friends! Elena Melnikova is with you. Have you met absolutely happy people? Those that sparkle with a joyful smile and illuminate the world around with their eyes? There are few of them, but they do exist. I hope this article helps you become one of them.

Absolute happiness, which is based (based) on harmony with oneself, the world and the ability to gratefully accept everything that exists, is not only a gift, but also daily labor souls. This is the ideal we all aspire to. But the most important thing to understand is that our happiness is in our hands.

The components of happiness, of course, each has its own. But in any case, one cannot do without accepting oneself - one's personality and way of life.

Does everyone live the way they want? Alas... A lot of restrictions dictated by a sense of duty, financial problems, failures and stereotypes regularly build us a line of obstacles on the way to a dream. And we, resigned, continue to bend under the weight of discontent.

Humility good quality. And it, too, is a gift and spiritual labor. But, as the “Prayer for Peace of Mind” says: “Lord, give me peace of mind to accept what I cannot change, give me courage to change what I can change, and give me the wisdom to distinguish one from the other” . Therefore, do not forget that, in addition to humility, life is given to us for development and change. For the better.

“Man is created for happiness, like a bird for flight” (V. G. Korolenko). “If you want to be happy - be it” (Kozma Prutkov).

We simply must hang these words at the head of our bed and confirm them with daily efforts to bring them to life. No pessimism. Without distrust in their own abilities. No fear of failure.

Phrases about the comfort zone, like a cocoon, twisted from stereotypes and habits and, like a web, dragging us into everyday life, have already become commonplace. I don’t feel like it, but I have to repeat them over and over again so that everyone thinks: “Is this how I want to live? Am I happy? Are you satisfied with the status quo? And what gives me true joy?

Do not think, I am by no means saying that our daily life is an annoying routine burden that needs to be thrown off as soon as possible. No, everyday life around us can also be beautiful, if only you merge harmoniously with it.

But, if you still feel that you live in discord with yourself, do not have the opportunity to realize your potential and as if you are living someone else's life, it's time to act. Boldly and decisively!

So how can you change your life for the better? Remember (what a sad word... No, don't forget!) your main dream. Tell yourself where and with whom you would like to live, what to do, what to think about before going to bed. Have you spoken? Now start walking towards your dream in small (or immediately large) steps.

To help you, I will give three stories from the lives of my friends. These people were able to step out of their comfort zone, challenge their habits, and set out to meet their desires. Some of them I have known for several years, some for several months, but well enough to admire their courage and readiness for change.

So, the first story, slightly reminiscent of the tale of Cinderella

Alyonushka was born in an ordinary Nizhny Novgorod village in a friendly large family. Life never spoiled her, and therefore, from the age of 15, Alena got a job. At first it was a part-time job as an administrator in children's center, night shifts in grocery store, then employment in a cafe and, finally, in a beauty salon and a fitness club.

By the age of 23, Alena was the administrator of a large shopping center and had dozens of people under his command. She liked the work, leading people was her vocation. Along the way, she worked as an administrator of a beauty salon and had the opportunity to look great for little money. But she knew it was temporary. I wanted more.

Life in Nizhny Novgorod, despite the closeness of relatives and the abundance of friends, seemed boring to her. Moscow more and more often beckoned our heroine, and one day she took a one-way ticket.
This story is not about how Cinderella conquered Moscow. This is a story about how Alena was looking for herself.

In Moscow, after wandering around friends for a month and eating more than one dog in search of rental housing, a brave girl found an inexpensive apartment in the center and a neighbor with whom they shared the rent. All this time she was looking for a job, but did not grab the first offer that came across. It must be a dream job. One for which it was worth going to the metropolis.

Finally, the girl got the position of project coordinator in a website development company. She had to learn a lot new information and fit into a tough team. However, if Alena coped with her duties perfectly, then the team was not easy. The superior men made it clear that, in addition to direct ones, Alena needed to perform some more duties. Alena did not bend.

The desire to change something in her life again bit her desperately. But the wise office worker endured two years to gain the right experience and then changed jobs. Simply put, from customers moved to their own customers.

The new job gave much more satisfaction, but could not withstand the difficult economic situation. Department after department was closed. Alyona was made redundant.

And then, at one fine moment, circumstances (oh, great word!) developed in such a way that Alyona's skills helped her find. More precisely, the work itself found it. A friend, and part-time partner, recommended Alena to the contractors of the closing company. The salary was half as much, but the opportunity to work without visiting the office attracted me more than any money. Now Alena was engaged in Internet advertising.

Together with new job the girl traveled to her parents in the village, to friends in the country, and even to the Netherlands for an internship (yes, yes, remote workers have internships). FROM remote work Alena was able to organize her working day in accordance with biorhythms, desires and habits. I started practicing yoga and found time for business English courses.

But the story doesn't end there. Distant work instilled (or, say, finally instilled) in the girl a love of freedom and gave an understanding of the optimal organization of the work process. And Alyonka does not have organizational skills.

So, our heroine, having calculated all the risks in her mind (and whoever does not risk, you know yourself ...), organized her own company to create websites and related services. The business is developing, but, most importantly, it brings moral satisfaction. And it's worth it!

Elena is from small town Ivanovo region. Her father was a teacher, was very fond of animals and even went on business for the company with a tame pig. Since childhood, Elena dreamed of working as a veterinarian.

But when it was time to go to college, her parents explained to Elena that a veterinarian is an extremely unprestigious profession and she would have to settle in the village forever and “twist the tails of cows on the farm.” Elena went to the pedagogical one.

Elena is an excellent teacher. Children love her for her conscientious work and cordial attitude. But life in a service apartment in Nizhny Novgorod did not appeal to a lover of nature and fluffy animals of all stripes. She and her husband already had a house in a small semi-abandoned village.

Near the hut, which had been rebuilt for many years from something (and gradually turned into a two-story house), unprecedented flowers were already blooming, and future homemade blanks were growing. And one day chickens settled there.

And then it went like clockwork. Following the chickens, rabbits started up (it all started with one pair), then the incubator started working, and all this was clearly going to spend the winter. At first, Elena and Alexander visited their pets every weekend.

Each trip was perceived as an exciting journey to favorite places. And later, when Alexander retired, the couple decided to permanently move to their beloved village.

By that time, the children had already grown up, but the animals required more and more trouble. And the zealous owners decided to completely move to the village. Elena did not wait for her retirement. Instead, she made a suitable schedule for herself at work and travels to work in a city 120 km away every 4 days.

The city is tiring, but at the same time it is a place for buying feed and marketing agricultural products. And it cannot be counted, because sheep, goats and pigs appeared on the farm, and the total livestock has grown to such an extent that the number of “all together” is incalculable.

And let it be necessary to get up, as they say, before dawn, even if in the evening a pleasant ache is felt in the body, but every day the spouses meet with joy, and the children try to come to the village every free minute.

The third story is fantastic.

Sometimes, to find your way, you need to deviate sharply from it.

Anna is a very young girl, she is only 19. She grew up in Tatarstan. At the age of 17, she moved from her native city to the capital of the republic. She started her career from the bottom, but then in a large company. At one fine moment (and again an accident?), the manager urgently needed a person to replace him. Anyuta was given the following conditions: if she copes, she will remain in office. Anya did it.

By the age of 19, Anna held a high position in a well-known automobile company. The salary was enough to rent an apartment in the center of Kazan and not deny yourself anything. But the flip side of the coin - work for wear, the almost complete lack of time for sleep and rest - made itself felt. Increasingly, Anna asked herself the question: in the name of what is all this? The neurosis grew.

One night Anya turned on the TV and watched a movie about a woman who critical situation went out into the field, shouted everything that had accumulated in her soul, and after that she adjusted her life.

The way out has been found!

Without thinking twice, Anyuta threw on her coat, grabbed a handbag and called a taxi to the nearest wasteland. The starry sky and the cold March night awaited her revelations.

At dawn, Anya walked to the house. The road was as silent and deserted as it had been at night, but the silence was the backdrop for condescending insights. Anya understood: now she wants to fly away.

The rising sun found Anya at the airport. Anya flew to the Crimea. Not coming home. Not collecting things. Not saying goodbye to anyone. And that's why the director's call was so far away ... So far away that Anyuta has not yet written a letter of resignation. She just left.

Arriving in Simferopol, literally, in what and with what she was (in her purse was a passport, a pack of cigarettes and 5,000 rubles), Anyuta began to live according to the laws of countless romantic vagabonds: fleeting acquaintances, a complete separation from reality and boundless fun.

Having received free time Anya learned to appreciate every moment of it. Now she began to listen to herself and think about what kind of lifestyle suits her.

Friends took Anya sometimes for several weeks. But there came a moment when it was necessary to leave the most hospitable houses. Anya was not afraid. She was free as the wind. Without money. Mom only topped up her mobile account.

About the difficulties suffered on the way (and it was both rain and cold), Anna says this: “I spent the night in the most beautiful and picturesque places on the south coast and ate healthy food cooked in spring water.”

The most interesting thing is that the things that Anya sincerely needed came to her by themselves. People gave her summer dresses, a swimsuit, shoes, a blanket and even a tent. At that moment, when we met and sunbathed in Foros, swimming goggles (and this is not a metaphor) sailed to her - this summer's dream.

Anna: “My path was beautiful and unique. I was accompanied by mountains, the sea, beautiful people, animals and birds. In addition, music accompanied me.

I received my harmonica as a gift in Fox Bay, where I learned to play. I played music on the embankments, which brought me enough money to buy food and cigarettes. I did not feel poor and unhappy for a minute.

Six months ago, at the beginning of my journey, I would never have thought that tens of thousands of kilometers of walking and hitchhiking would change my world SO drastically.”

Miraculous facts only confirm the idea that with the disappearance of the usual comfort, new opportunities open up for us. You just need to know how to use them.

Anyuta used it until she understood what she wanted from life: she would create and share her experience with others.

In August, Anya returned to her homeland. Competently prioritizing, she thought about choosing a profession (which will certainly be associated with creativity), and is currently going to go to China and India for inspiration. And I firmly believe that she will succeed.

These three beautiful women left a deep mark on my life. Each of them knows what he wants, and firmly goes to his goal. And, if suddenly the goals change, each will be ready for a sharp turn. But all these goals can be reduced to one - harmony with oneself and happiness.

People who have changed their lives, despite fears, stereotypes and their own insecurities, are themselves changing in better side. At a minimum, they become more open, bold and determined. In addition, adapting to a new situation forces a change in thinking, improving its flexibility and expanding horizons. So, it's definitely worth a try.

I myself have repeatedly had to turn life 90, and sometimes 180 degrees. Break your own stereotypes, radically change your views and principles and, most importantly, follow them.

Therefore, I developed some algorithm of actions for a cardinal upheaval in fate:

1. Drop all fears. If that doesn't work, think about your biggest fear and make sure it's not so bad after all. (For example: the worst thing that can happen if I change jobs (move to another area) is that I will have very little money. But this is not the worst thing, because in a pinch I can get a job in such and such a position, but in general, I write articles (and some of you bake cakes or sew clothes) to order).
2. Don't know where to start? Take the first step. Convince yourself that this is only the first step, which will not affect anything, does not oblige you to anything, and, in which case, everything can be ended here. In fact, your first step affects a lot, and by taking a step, you will move to a new level of consciousness and achieve your own goal, which you can no longer refuse. Moreover, if you are the right way, then see for yourself how everything starts to work out from the first step. In the future, of course, there will be difficulties, but the biggest difficulty - to decide on changes, is already behind us.
3. Treat the difficulties that arise in your path as tests and tempering of character. Believe that all of them were sent down to you in order to show your true possibilities. In addition, do not forget that overcoming obstacles, coupled with drastic changes, in no time relieves depression caused by routine and everything that develops against its background. Proven in my own skin!
4. When most of the path has already been passed, it makes no sense to stop. But it always makes sense to adjust plans along the way. The main thing at the same time is not to break the contract with the dream.
5. Ask the Lord for help in business. If you don't believe in God, ask people. Support, advice, a small favor. Ask and it will be given to you.
6. Praise yourself for small but significant accomplishments. Think further. Think about how things can be improved. And believe in success.

Be happy, dear readers! Don't be afraid of change!

Many people dream of making all their desires and dreams come true, but only a few succeed in practice. How to change your life for the better? They have been thinking about this question for more than a dozen years, but there is still an answer to it. Changing your life for the better is real and all you need to find in this article.

How to change life for the better?

1. Think positive

Stop complaining and hope for a miracle, look for pluses and benefit from any, even unsuccessful situations that happen to you. This is one of them, and you should listen to them. By learning to accept small setbacks normally, you will be ready to really strong shock. Change your attitude to the world around, change the negative to positive and you will understand how great and easy it is to live in this world.

2. Go in for sports

When we exercise, our body releases endorphins, which make us feel happy and light. If for one reason or another you are unable to play sports and physical activity in particular, just start walking more. Walking in the air helps to get rid of stress and relieve all tension. Get in the habit of going for a walk in the evening, thanks to them you will begin to feel better and improve your sleep.

3. Connect with developing and positive people

Think about your surroundings. What are the people around you? What emotions do they have? Stop communicating with people who have a lot of negative emotions, because they greatly affect your psychophysical state. Look for people who will inspire and support you with a positive outlook on life.

4. Keep a diary

Keeping a diary will help you stay in reality and understand what is generally going on in your life. Daily notes will help you conduct a deep analysis of your life, thoughts, desires. You seem to be looking at yourself from the side. Such records will allow you to decide on your future and the path of further development.

Often at work we have too much routine and boring work, which completely destroys any creative undertakings. If you are a manager, then you simply need to delegate such tasks to your subordinates, so you free up time to think about the future for your business. If you are an online entrepreneur, then you can use freelance exchanges and hire a remote assistant.

Change the environment around you more often in order to see your life from a different angle, as if from the outside. You won’t earn all the money, so don’t forget to visit the place that you have long wanted to visit. By changing the environment, we give impetus to our imagination, which will be very useful for creative people during periods of stagnation.

It may sound strange, but usually our thoughts are about everything but what is happening in this moment. We remember the past, think about the future, forgetting about the most important moment that is happening right now. Catching yourself thinking about the present moment, you and concentration.

Define your life position, choose a target and boldly move forward. Avoid any negative information and expression of negative emotions. It is good if there are more successful and kind people in the environment.

Temporary failures should not unbalance, you should never get upset, it is better to try to learn a life lesson from what is happening. You have to believe in yourself and your success.

Do not get hung up on the question of how to attract good luck and success in your life. Start thinking positively (even if it doesn’t work right away) and act. Never give up. Even if you get sick, do not despair, do not let the blues take over you - this will only make you feel worse.

Never accumulate anger, resentment and anger in yourself. it negative emotions interfering with happiness. Get rid of these feelings immediately. But just don't vent your anger and Bad mood on those who are nearby (on relatives, relatives or colleagues), and arrange, for example, general cleaning. Vigorous activity will help to survive any troubles. It will be effective and a walk on fresh air. Someone helps the usual idleness. Finding peace of mind at home - what could be easier? You just have to lie on the couch or sleep for a few hours, take a relaxing bath, listen to pleasant music, read, watch your favorite movie or series - your mood will noticeably improve, and there will be no trace of negativity. Our brain will hide away everything unnecessary, while leaving only useful information- that's the way we are.

How to streamline your life and inner world

Throw away all rubbish and rubbish from your home without regret. Hold workplace in order, and the head is clean, consolidated from bad thoughts. Try to make work a joy, do not forget to fully relax. Remember your personal space and do not violate the boundaries of others. Respect people. Give up TV and devote more time to reading (but only worthy literature), self-development.

If guilt haunts, don't be afraid to be the first to ask for forgiveness. And if for some reason this is no longer possible, then forgive yourself.

Buy an alarm clock with a pleasant melody and don't jump out of bed in the morning like you're on fire. Allow yourself a few minutes of pleasant reflection. Stretch, smile, think about the day ahead, imagine good moments who are waiting ahead. This will take no more than five minutes. Look out the window and try to enjoy any weather - and the bright sun, and snowfall, and downpour. Over time, this will become a habit, and even in bad weather you will leave the house in a good mood, not paying attention to the wind, cold or heavy rain.

How to fill your life with joy and positivity

Radiate joy every day, no matter how hard it is on the soul. Positive emotions will return back. Despite the weight of problems that all of humanity faces, it is important to remain optimistic in Everyday life and share your warmth with others. Try to give at least a little help to those who need it. But do not expect huge gratitude and praises in return. People easily forget about good deeds others and are not always repaid kindly. One must be indulgent towards such human nature. When doing good to someone, do it simply because being kind and generous is much better than being evil and greedy.

Anger, envy, hatred are imprinted on our faces. And if you do not change for the better, then you can soon be afraid of your reflection in the mirror. Help others not only materially, but also spiritually. Sometimes simple words support or heartfelt conversation mean more to a person than material goods. It is easy to forget the bad, but never the good.

Most people don't like something in their lives; something goes wrong, something goes wrong, and many people have a question: “ How"; what is needed for this, where to start, and is it possible change your life???
If you read the article to the end and think a little, you will understand that everyone, if desired, can change your life for the better, and from "frogs to turn into princes (princesses)".

The image is of course taken from fairy tales(for example, about Cinderella), but in fact anyone can make themselves happy. No miracles, no magic, no magic.

How to change your life

Before answering the question: "How to change your life" Think about what exactly you don't like about real life; how do you imagine the future better life in your imagination, and if you imagine that good life- this is 100%, then how many percent do you live now?

Because our life is not only the entire period from birth to death, but also any other moment, situation, moment of life, and all life consists of these situations, then in order to change your life for the better, you need to change short life moments that build everything like bricks the building of our lives...

Those. a happy or unhappy life of a person consists of happy or unhappy life situations ... moments, moments ... from them you need to start changing your life.

How to change life for the better - from frogs to princesses (princes)

If you have determined for yourself that you are a loser (“frog”), you are unlucky in life and you are chronically unhappy ... especially if your unsuccessful situations and unhappy moments of life are repeated, i.e. if your thoughts, feelings and emotions, behavior are approximately the same in similar situations, then you have a life script programmed in childhood.

And in order to determine and move from “frogs” to “princes” (“princesses”), you need to define your script and change it ...

How to change your life - where to start

So, if you notice that you live according to the script (according to the program) and want to understand how to change life, naturally for the better, then take three similar life situations in which something is not going well with you and you are worried ... for example, you suffer from loneliness: you cannot meet a guy or a girl; You are not understood and accepted by other people, you cannot make friends; You are afraid to communicate (shy and shy), maybe you feel fear in society or in front of the public ... whatever, the main thing is that this is not entirely adequate and natural in the situation “here and now” ...

And you understand that in order to change your life and get rid of loneliness, you need to have relationships, close relationships (in the emotional and psychological sense). But your inner scenario, subconscious settings, your deep convictions that cause various negative emotions, including fears and anxieties, do not allow you to do this.

Then you take one of three similar situations, for example - “I can’t get to know you because I’m afraid or shy” ..., and work them out in your imagination, fantasy, visualization ... (you can take relaxation methods to help: psycho-training according to Silva or self-hypnosis techniques).

Imagine in your imagination, very brightly and colorfully, how, for example, you are going to approach to get acquainted - at first everything goes well, good mood and the desire to act, and then ... something clicks ... and you got scared or shy, and, accordingly, did not approach the person ...

Now, re-watch this video clip in your head, but not all of it, but until the “click” moment - remember this feeling of a click ...

Then, take another similar situation, when you could not get to know each other because of fear and embarrassment, for example ... this time they approached you, but you were so scared that you closed yourself in and could not say something intelligible ... and with such behavior you scared away person… Also, scroll the tape in your head until it “clicks” – it is about the same as in the first situation – remember it…

Take one more situation from life ... “wind up” the video to a “click” - remember ...

Go back to the first situation and watch your “inner movie” until the “click”, but after it come up with a new ending with a new emotion, for example, how did you do great - fix in your memory a new emotion after the “click” ... Do two more new endings to this situation.

Then, do the same with the other two situations from your life - you get a total of 9 new "movies" (three for each situation) ...

If you feel a real new emotion, for example, joy, living it in fantasy (like actors according to the Stanislavsky method), and fix it in your memory, then you will only have to complete this work of changing your life in reality ...

Now, your switch (anchor, or “click”) will automatically trigger a new good emotion, which will give you the opportunity to make an acquaintance and stop feeling lonely ...

After several repetitions - almost like a reflex in Pavlov's dog - your scenario of life for loneliness will be replaced by a new, successful scenario, i.e. You can change your life for the better…