What to do not to worry. The main thing is to keep calm! Ways to calm down and be less nervous

10.10.2019

How to stop worrying - What to do if the excitement does not recede?

- When do we get nervous?

- When do we get nervous?
- 7 lessons on how to stop being nervous
How to calm down right now
- How to get rid of anxiety - instructions for action
How to stop anxiety?
- Conclusion

Nervousness and jitters, this is the feeling of discomfort that you experience on the eve of important, responsible events and events, during psychological stress and stress, in problematic life situations, and just worry about every little thing.

It is important to understand that nervousness has both psychological and physiological causes and appears accordingly. Physiologically, this is related to the properties of our nervous system, but psychologically, with the characteristics of our personality: a tendency to experiences, an overestimation of the significance of certain events, a feeling of insecurity in oneself and what is happening, shyness, excitement for the result.

The fear of failing, of looking inappropriate in front of people, all of these make us nervous. In relation to these fears, there is a certain psychological setting, it has little to do with our physiology.

Therefore, in order to stop being nervous, it is necessary not only to put the nervous system in order, but to understand and realize certain things, let's start with understanding the nature of nervousness.

- 7 lessons on how to stop being nervous

Lesson 1. The nature of nervousness. required defense mechanism or a hindrance?

a) Nervousness does not bring any benefit, but only hinders.
b) You can get rid of it by working on yourself.
c) B Everyday life there are few real reasons to be nervous, since we or our loved ones are rarely threatened, mostly we worry about trifles.

Lesson 2 How to stop being nervous for any reason?

At such moments, focus on the purpose of your life, think about the future, distract from the current moment.

Such a psychological setting helps a lot to stop being nervous for any reason.

Lesson 3 Training. How to calm down before a responsible event.

Free your head from thoughts, relax your body, exhale deeply and inhale. The most ingenuous will help to relax breathing exercises.
It should be done like this:

a) inhale for 4 counts (or 4 beats of the pulse, you must first feel it, it is more convenient to do this on the neck, and not on the wrist)
b) hold your breath for 2 counts/beats
c) exhale for 4 counts/beats
d) hold your breath for 2 counts/beats and then inhale again for 4 counts/beats - all over again

Breath! Do not breath. 4 seconds inhale - 2 seconds hold - 4 seconds exhale - 2 seconds hold.

If you feel that breathing allows you to take deeper breaths / exhalations, then do the cycle not 4/2 seconds but 6/3 or 8/4 and so on.

Lesson 4 How to deal with nervousness during an important meeting.

a) Act calm.
b) Pay attention to facial expressions, gestures and intonation.
c) Eliminate all markers of nervousness.
d) Take your time.

Lesson 5 We calm down after the meeting.

Whatever the outcome of the event. You are on edge and still experiencing stress. Better take it off and think about something else. Try not to think too much about the past event. Just get rid of all thoughts from your head, get rid of the subjunctive mood (if only), everything has already passed, put your breath in order and relax your body.

Lesson 6 There should be no reason to be nervous at all.

Usually a significant factor in nervousness is the discrepancy between your preparation for the upcoming event. When you know everything, are confident in yourself, then why should you worry about the result?

We must try not to create stress factors for ourselves in the future! Think ahead and prepare for business and important meetings, do everything on time and do not delay until the last moment! Always have in mind ready plan, but several are better! This will save you a lot of nerve cells, and in general will contribute to great success in life.

Lesson 7 How to strengthen the nervous system and how to stop being nervous over trifles.

In order to stop being nervous, you must also bring the body and mind to a state of rest.

a) One should meditate regularly.
b) Go in for sports and carry out a complex of measures that support recovery (contrast shower, healthy eating, vitamins, etc.). Sport strengthens the nervous system.
c) Walk more, spend time outdoors, try to sit less in front of the computer.
d) Practice breathing exercises.
e) Quit bad habits!

How to calm down right now

Stressful situations, worries and unreasonable anxiety haunt people all their lives, but in order to become happy, you only need to prioritize correctly. You should not take everything “to heart”, for many this statement does not give anything, they do not know how to stop worrying and continue to be nervous. Helping yourself and your friends in this problem is very simple, find out how to overcome your fear and be happy in this moment not to happen.

1) Perceive yourself and your actions with optimism.

A sense of duty and responsibility for one's actions is instilled from childhood, some parents, having overdone it a little, inspire a person with their complexes and a constant sense of guilt, hence the feeling of constant concern for their words and actions arises. To overcome this, you need to convince yourself of the correctness of your actions, and also adhere to the following rules:

a) Relieve yourself of guilt.
b) Get rid of imaginary problems.
c) Get rid of fear.
d) Be yourself.

2) Believe only in the best.

An assessment of a problem or incident that has arisen should be made only after it happens, in order to foresee the course of the event, it is better to immediately consider what could happen in the worst case. Having put everything “on the shelves”, it may turn out that there is nothing terrible in the future, everything is explainable and solvable. To eliminate such concerns, you need to determine for yourself:

a) Goals in life.
b) Prioritize.
c) An interesting case.

3) Appreciate what you have.

It is impossible to expect something more from life and not make efforts for it, ideal conditions will not create themselves. Of course, sometimes favorable circumstances arise, and then only it is worth using them correctly, and unfortunately rarely anyone can do this. Most often, opportunities are hidden under far-fetched problems; after their solution, ways to solve problems are immediately visible.

Take note of a few tips:

a) Live for today.
b) Limit contact with unpleasant people.
c) Don't pay attention to the little things in life.

4) Don't feel sorry for yourself.

You won’t be able to stop worrying right away, but by following the tips in question, you can quickly cope with this difficult feeling and achieve any goals, as well as infect others with your optimism. The main thing to remember is that all thoughts are material, their execution gives a joyful mood and faith in a better future, for which it is worth living.

- How to get rid of anxiety - instructions for action

Tip 1. Don't fight the excitement.

During periods of great excitement, do not try to get rid of this condition.

This struggle sometimes takes more strength than simple excitement. Therefore, instead of fighting with excitement, accept it, feel it, find the reason for your excitement, and then you will feel better.
Also find advantages in an exciting situation, and then it will become much easier for you.

Tip 2. Go in for sports!

The excitement caused by fear binds every muscle in our body.

In such situations, overcoming anxiety is quite simple! You just need to give your body a physical shake-up. When endorphin rushes into your body, the excitement will noticeably recede.

Tip 3. Don't worry about trifles.

Very often we worry about a fictional situation.

For example, we didn’t have time to submit a report today and we begin to worry that tomorrow it will be too late. But you can just tell the boss that the work on the report was a little delayed.

However, in reality, we ourselves complicate our lives.

Tip 4. Breathing helps in the fight against anxiety.

Try Herry Herminson's Balloon Breathing Exercise.

Sit down, close your eyes and imagine a tennis ball in front of you. Take a slow and deep breath, imagining how the ball slowly and smoothly moves from the stomach to the throat. Exhale - and the ball moves down just as slowly.

After doing 10 repetitions, you will noticeably relax and be able to overcome the excitement.

Tip 5 Stay positive and stop worrying.

During periods of unrest, we are often overwhelmed by phrases such as: “I can’t”, “I’m a loser”, “I will definitely embarrass myself”, etc. But know - these phrases are just limiters in our brain.

Repeating to yourself day after day about failures, you really become a failure.
That's why start programming yourself right!

Tell yourself:

a) I will do it!
b) I am the best!
c) I can do everything!

Many psychologists believe that the constant scrolling of positive phrases helps a person cope with anxiety and achieve their goals.

How to stop anxiety?

Here are some tips on how to stop worrying and start enjoying life right now!

1) Play a game of "what's the worst that can happen?" with yourself.
Imagine the worst case scenario so you can prepare for it or try to prevent it.

The second step is to imagine something for which you would be grateful even in an undesirable situation. This gratitude exercise teaches you not only to be prepared for the worst, but to see the positive in it!

And most importantly, if you can imagine the worst, you can imagine the best!

2) Get rid of the habit of worrying (yes, it's a habit!).
Get rid of thoughts that upset you and choose thoughts that focus on a positive outcome. Control your mind and stop worrying!

3) Be in the here and now.
You worry about what might happen in the future or what happened in the past. But the truth is that you are creating the future NOW! Therefore, if you want to stop worrying, your thoughts must be devoted to what is happening NOW. Concentrate and think, feel, act and speak the best way… from the point of view of the present. Such thoughts, feelings, actions and words improve your future!

4) Help others.
There are countless people who are much, much worse than you. Help them as much as you can. This will help you look at your own problems more objectively, develop a sense of gratitude, and you will not have time to think about your problems when you help other people (or animals, environment etc.).

5) Talk positively to yourself and about yourself.
How many times a day do you berate yourself for the mistakes you make? How many times a day can you say "I" along with something negative?

For example:

a) I am poor
b) I'm lonely
c) I can't do it
d) I will be rejected.

Don't talk like that! "I" is a word that has a strong energy! No need to exercise yourself with these life situations. When you eliminate such negativity from your speech, your mental state will improve and you will be less prone to anxiety. You will also be motivated to take positive action.

6) Action gives you confidence and control.
Take action. Think rationally, analyze the situation, weigh all the options and choose the best way actions based NOT on reflexes or emotions, but on the calm implementation of the steps necessary to improve the situation, on what you want - on the best scenario that you visualize.

Action keeps you active, helps you focus your mind away from worry, and makes you feel GOOD because you feel more in control of the situation, if only because you're doing it yourself.

- Conclusion

Almost every person on the plane has at least once experienced anxiety and anxiety. Some people experience this feeling all the time. Sometimes this anxiety has no basis, but a person still continues to wind himself up over trifles, losing precious time that he could spend on his self-development or on relatives and friends.

How often do you worry about things that are not worth your attention? And how to stop worrying for no reason?

First of all, you need to realize that your excitement will not bring you any benefit. Only harm. Train your confidence. Confident people almost never have a reason to worry.

And stop worrying about what is out of your control, it's useless. It is foolish to spend time on something that only spoils your mood, it is better to spend it on improving your skills and increasing your self-esteem.

The material was prepared by Dilyara specifically for the site

There is a category of people who are constantly in a state of anxiety. As soon as their next problem is resolved, another appears on the horizon. They start getting nervous again. So the years go by. Such a negative habit deprives people of the joy of life, takes strength, and adversely affects health. If you belong to this category, and strive to become happier, then you definitely need to learn how to stop being nervous.

What does stress lead to?

A person who is anxious, nervous, constantly stays in the zone of discomfort. Unpleasant sensations arise before an important meeting, event, presentation, acquaintance. The appearance of nervousness is dictated by the psychological aspects of the personality. People get nervous if they fail, get rejected, or look ridiculous in the eyes of others.

Such psychological factors can make life very difficult. It is not surprising that these people are tormented by the question: how to calm down and stop being nervous?

An angry person is not able to control life. All efforts are aimed at coping with negative emotions.

Loss of control over life can lead to unpleasant consequences:

The use of means that allow you to get rid of problems for a short time (use of various medications, smoking, alcoholism).
Loss of life orientation. A person, fearing failure, cannot and does not want to realize his dreams and desires.
Decreased brain function.
Stress can lead to chronic fatigue, against which serious diseases can develop.
Loss of emotional control.

As you can see, the prospects are quite unpleasant. So let's figure out what needs to be done to stop being nervous.

Analysis of fears

Most often, insecure people experience a feeling of discomfort that gives rise to nervousness. What to do? How to stop being nervous and worried? Only long-term work on your thoughts and on yourself will help get rid of constant anxiety.

First, analyze your fears and acknowledge them. Take a piece of paper, cut it in half. On the left, write the problems you can solve. On the right - unsolvable.

Examine those problems that you wrote on the left. You know how to solve each of them. A little effort is needed, and these problems will not exist. Then are they worth worrying about?

Now go to the right column. Each of these problems does not depend on your actions. And no matter how hard you try, you cannot influence the course of her decision. So is it worth worrying about these problems?

Face your fears. This will require certain time. But you will clearly determine which of the problems were groundless and which are real.

Remember childhood

When analyzing how to stop being nervous for any reason, try to remember the time when you were a small child.

Quite often the problem stretches from childhood. Perhaps your parents often set the neighbor's children as an example, describing their virtues. This created low self-esteem. Such people, as a rule, acutely perceive someone's superiority and are not able to put up with it.

How to stop being nervous in this case? It's time to understand that everyone is different. And all have both advantages and disadvantages. It's time to accept yourself. Learn to accept your weaknesses calmly. And at the same time appreciate the dignity.

Holiday

If the question of how to calm down and stop being nervous has become very common in your head, then you need to relax a little. Give yourself a day off.

For maximum relaxation, use the recommendations of psychologists:

Disconnect from your responsibilities. To do this, you need to prepare in advance. If you work, then take a day off. Those who have children are advised to ask relatives or friends to sit with them in advance, and maybe hire a nanny. Sometimes for a good rest it is enough just to change the usual scenario. Think over your travel route in advance, reserve tickets.
Take a bath in the morning. On rest day, you can get out of bed whenever you want. And immediately take a relaxing bath. Proved that water procedures help relieve tension, calm the mind and help to put in order chaotic thoughts. For the best relaxing effect, add soothing herbs or your favorite to the bath. essential oils. A pleasant aroma will allow you to tune in to the positive much better.
Have a cup of tea or coffee with friends. If the last drink causes a headache or stimulates nervousness, then exclude this item from your activities on the day of rest. Remember, coffee drunk in communication with friends has a relaxing effect on the body. A drink drunk alone increases stress.
Engage in an exciting business, which in ordinary life there is no time left. It's time to think about your hobbies. On this day, you can paint, write a story, or compose a new song. Perhaps you are completely captured by the improvement of the house. Reading a book can be a wonderful relaxation.
cook tasty dish. How to stop being nervous? Treat yourself to delicious food. This is what you need during your vacation. After all tasty food is one of the sources of human pleasure.
Watch a movie. The most relaxing and peaceful way to have fun is to watch movies. And it doesn’t matter if you do it in an apartment with friends or visit a cinema.

Ways to get out of a stressful situation

Unfortunately, not everyone and not always can afford to allocate a whole day for rest. In addition, unpleasant feelings and thoughts can rush suddenly. How to stop being nervous for any reason in such a situation? After all, it is necessary now and here to feel relief. In other words, get rid of a stressful situation.

Get rid of the source of stress for a while. Give yourself a little break. Even a few minutes of doing nothing is enough for you. Experts say that such breaks not only allow you to get rid of nervousness, but also stimulate enthusiasm and creative thinking.
Look at the situation with different eyes. When a person feels agitated and irritated, he fixes precisely the feelings. Try to find the reason that caused such violent emotions. To understand how to stop being nervous about every occasion, ask yourself the question: why did this bring me out of my state of calm? Perhaps you are not appreciated at work, or the salary is too low. By identifying the source, you will be able to outline a strategy for your next steps.
Talk about your problem. It is important to choose the right interlocutor here. This should be a person who is able to patiently listen to your problem. Speaking the situation, oddly enough, you not only “let off steam”, but also force the brain to analyze the state of affairs and find solutions.
Smile, or better yet, laugh. It is this event that “launches” the production of chemical substances that stimulate mood improvement.
Redirect energy. If you are overwhelmed negative emotions improve mood and reduce stress levels physical training. An excellent method of redirecting energy is to engage in creativity.

New daily routine

How to stop being nervous before a working day or an important event?

The following recommendations will help overcome unpleasant moments:

Tasty breakfast. To provide for yourself good mood In the morning, prepare yourself what you love in advance. It can be yogurt, chocolate or cake. Glucose will energize you and help you wake up.
Make a charge. Turn on your favorite pleasant music and do some exercises or dance. This will protect the body from stress.
Learn to relax. If a situation arises at work that makes you nervous, think about home, family, or any other thing that makes you feel good.
Use water. How to stop being nervous over trifles? Water can be very soothing. Of course, you won't be able to take a bath at work. But you can turn on the faucet and wash your cup, or just watch the stream flow. It is effective in soothing.
Look for positive sides. If you cannot change the situation itself, then try to change your attitude towards it. If you didn't get your paycheck on Friday, then you won't be tempted to spend it over the weekend.
Count to 10. The old tried-and-true way to find peace.
Write a letter. Put all your problems on paper. Then tear the letter into small pieces or even burn it. At this time, mentally imagine that all your troubles are burning with it.

Life without stress

Above, we have considered methods that allow us to win unpleasant situations. Now let's look at how to stop being nervous and start living a stress-free life.

To do this, you need to develop models of behavior and good habits that will bring a sense of peace and happiness into your life:

Walk on fresh air. Scientific research confirmed that such walks significantly cheer up. Especially if you combine them with moderate physical activity.
Go in for sports. This is reliable protection from stress-related illnesses. Regular exercise ensures a calm, positive attitude towards your life.
Don't neglect rest. The quality of sleep has a huge impact on a person's well-being. Chronic lack of sleep often becomes one of the factors provoking the appearance of nervousness, irritability. In addition, people who neglect good rest, the risk of developing rather unpleasant diseases, such as stroke, heart attack, is high.
Get rid of bad habits. Some people, thinking about how to stop being nervous, resort to smoking or drinking, trying to "relax" in this way. However, neither alcohol nor tobacco can relieve irritability and nervousness. They only muffle the severity of the problem for a while, delaying the moment of making a decision.

Calming techniques for pregnant women

Women who are in interesting position, unrest is generally contraindicated. But it is during this period that future mothers become extremely vulnerable, and can get upset over trifles. How to stop being nervous during pregnancy?

There are several simple ways:

Spit on everything! A pregnant woman should only worry about her health. Whatever events happen nearby, it should be clearly understood that the expectant mother is responsible for the child. Is it possible to put at risk the most precious thing in a woman's life? Now look at the problem. Is she worth the risk? Not! So forget about it.
Mentally create a wall. Imagine that you are securely protected from the outside world. Pass only positive and pleasant information through an imaginary wall. Let only positive people into your world.
Be patient. It's not as difficult as it might seem. Just think that not all people are able to control themselves and control emotions as well as you.
Look for the positive in life. Smile more often, surround yourself with things that cause joy, listen to pleasant music, read interesting books.

Each person must choose those activities that will help him relax and stop being nervous.

You might find these tips helpful:

Look at the clouds floating in the sky.
Wash your face with cold water.
In rainy weather, look at the rain, listen to the even sound of drops.
Ask native person read a book to you until you fall asleep.
Take paints or pencils and draw whatever comes to your mind. Do not think about the details and the end result.

Help from a specialist

If the above recommendations did not help you, then contact a psychotherapist or psychologist for help. The doctor will listen to you, conduct special tests. It will help to identify the causes of stressful situations and suggest ways to resolve them. The doctor will develop a strategy for how to stop being nervous and strengthen the nervous system.

If necessary, you will be assigned sedatives. It can be both medications and herbs. Mint, valerian, St. John's wort, chamomile, lavender have an excellent calming effect.

However, do not abuse these drugs. They won't get rid of your nervousness forever. Such funds can only help temporarily.

If the question arose of how to learn not to be nervous, then you are already on the way to solving the problem. Because the most difficult thing is always the recognition of the existing difficulty. Nervousness and irritability are often considered medical problem. However, the correct psychological attitude can almost always correct the situation.

An irritable person constantly offends others with ridiculous nit-picking, but he himself suffers the most. Consequences of nervousness:

Health problems, poor health. Heart disease develops, frequent arrhythmia, shortness of breath, galloping blood pressure, worried about headaches.
Shaken nerves cause a bad mood, depression. A person can withdraw into himself, become vulnerable, vulnerable. Hypersensitivity makes you line up internal barriers, the so-called "self-defense". But apart from alienation, destroyed relationships, this brings nothing more.
Excessive irritability prevents organically fit into the team at work, prevents the disclosure of talents, personal growth.

Everyone can cope with the listed difficulties. You just need to learn not to be nervous in any situation, whether it be a serious problem or a trifle.

The hardest part is getting started. Determine to change your position. Make a promise to yourself to go 21 days without an incident of irritability. In three weeks, a new habit is developed. For 40 days it is fixed. Now actually what you need to do in order to learn not to be nervous:

In a stressful situation, slow down your breathing, breathe deeply, mentally repeat the words: I am calm (calm), you can count up to ten or more. Deep breaths slow down the heartbeat, relax tense nerves, neutralize the release of adrenaline responsible for aggressiveness.
Suppressing anger attacks, gradually develop the habit of curbing negative emotions. Whenever you succeed, internally rejoice in the victory: you are on the path to self-mastery. Remember, every breakdown provokes more new incidents, making you more nervous.
Remember: injustice is not a reason to lose your temper. Troubles, quarrels, various disasters happen to all people. However, a sober approach without emotions makes it easy to find a way out of any situation. On the contrary, emotionality blinds a person, makes him draw wrong conclusions, build illogical accusations. After a quarrel, most often there is a feeling of regret for what was said.
Learn how to constructively resolve conflicts. Do not say: you are an egoist, insolent, others hurtful words. Speak out: you forgot to do me a favor, it brought me such and such inconvenience, makes me waste time, etc. That is in simple words describe the situation without coloring the events with negative emotional connotations. When people operate with definitions and terms, and do not splash out experiences, any controversial situations resolved without conflict.
If someone deliberately or because of a bad mood spoils your nerves, take the position of an observer: everything is fine with you, why waste your precious time proving that he is wrong? Focus on what you think of yourself. , it does not depend on external circumstances!
Be condescending to others: recognize their right to make mistakes. If everyone is wrong, why be nervous about it? Over time, the person himself will understand that he was wrong.
Feel free to object. Weighty arguments, expressed in a logical sequence, without anger and anguish, have a sobering effect on any insolent person! If your opponent sees that his attacks are not getting on your nerves, he is likely to leave his venture. And you keep a good mood.
Learn to deal with your fears. Often, anxiety due to possible troubles brings a person to a panic state. Repeat to yourself: I can handle it, I can overcome it. I am strength! I can do everything! Self-confidence, foresight will help to take timely necessary measures, to critical situations didn't happen.
Break the usual chains. The husband (wife) again said (a) something that just infuriates me! Do the opposite at least once: hold back, turn away, respond with kindness and forgiveness. Change your mindset! Do it the way you haven't done it before: ignore the annoying nuisance Ignore it! By launching the usual response mechanism, you leave everything as it is. By blocking stereotyped thinking, you are embarking on the path of freedom! Get rid of automatic reactions, cultivate a new habit: a calm attitude to any situation. It contributes a lot to this.
Look from the other side. Everything that irritates has reverse side! Notice the positives. Take everything around you for granted.
Change what can be changed. If a creaking door infuriates, oil the awnings. Got a dripping faucet - fix it.

I think that advice on how to learn not to be nervous will be useful to everyone. Of course, at first it will be very difficult. However, every small victory is a reason to congratulate yourself! The more often there are such victories, the closer the goal will be - a calm attitude to any stressful situation. Day after day, continuing to work on yourself, one day you will find that you have learned not to be nervous and calm even in critical situations!

Constant anxiety is a serious problem modern people. If a problem is solved, nervousness does not go anywhere. There are other reasons, "worthy" to worry about them and suffer. And soon nervousness becomes a bad habit that poisons life. And those who do not have enough days continue to worry at night, attributing everything to insomnia.

Where Does Worry Come From?

It is believed that most of the problems modern man takes from the head. The sheer number of worries we face on a daily basis causes many to lose control over own life. Thus, constant experiences arise, and a person begins to live in stress.

Psychologists identify 6 reasons why permanent nervous tension. In practice, for any person, stress is provoked by several reasons at once:

Dependence on the approval of others. There are many personalities who depend very much on what others think of them. These are very vulnerable and sensitive natures, and criticism or indifference can seriously affect their self-esteem. And this leads to increased nervousness and irritability.
Addiction to pleasure. Sometimes such needs develop into a serious obsession. A person cannot do business until he has satisfied all his needs for entertainment. Such people keep postponing their duties until later and are nervous about it.
Perfectionism. This trait is common to many workaholics who strive to make everything perfect. Often the desire to improve everything is transferred to other areas of life. But the ideal cannot be achieved, and perfectionists suffer, get nervous and angry.
Independence. For such people, any framework becomes a prison, whether it is a regular work schedule or life according to a template. They do not know how to delegate responsibilities and "pull" everything on themselves. The more they strive for independence, the stronger their nervous tension.
Getting fast results. Many people strive to get everything at once, not realizing that sometimes the problem needs to be solved gradually. If the problem is not solved on the first try, they become very anxious. In most cases, they will not deal with this later.
Need for intimacy. Such people try to establish closer and more friendly contact with everyone. And this is not always appropriate, especially in business circles. Often, nervousness is also provoked by forced loneliness, when a person does not have truly close friends.

Consequences of constant stress

Nervous tension tends to develop and become chronic. If at the first stages a person may be slightly nervous, after some time he may be in constant stress. At the same time, they begin serious problems with health, which have serious consequences. First of all, psychologists advise paying attention to the amount of sleep.

At severe stress a person begins insomnia, so the nervous system is in constant tension. Lethargy, apathy and uncontrollable anger are also consequences of anxiety and nervousness. As for diseases, the heart suffers, gastrointestinal tract and the reproductive system of the body. This often results in hypertension and diabetes.

There are many methods that can teach a person to avoid stressful situations, or at least cope with them. And first of all, you need to know how to build your life in such a way as to prevent the accumulation of unresolved cases and responsibilities:

Resolve problems as soon as they arise. No matter how big or complex the problem is, it needs to be solved. Or for starters, think about how to do it. No delay or worries. First - find a solution, and emotions will come later. This rule also works in reverse. There is no need to worry about past failures if it is already impossible to change it.
If the fear of failure takes away all the strength before performing a certain task, one should imagine the worst outcome of this matter. And then analyze your feelings and think about what you have to do if it really happens. As a rule, strong anxiety immediately disappears, because people are not afraid of difficulties, but of the unknown.
Definition of goals. And it must be done right. Often people get nervous when they realize that they cannot achieve their goal. And all because they did not take into account force majeure and did not give themselves the right to make mistakes.
Feelings of guilt and compassion. This feeling is different. It is one thing to worry and worry about loved ones, and another thing when guilt is imposed and used by others to gain benefits. Therefore, such things must be separated and not worried over trifles, especially if nothing can be done to help.
Don't make up problems. Many, after completing a particular task, begin to talk about the result, although nothing depends on them. And rarely do these thoughts have positive character. Most often, very scary and unpleasant things are drawn. Doing this is not only stupid, but also dangerous, since stress greatly affects the body.
Pay no attention to the opinions of others. It's difficult and needs to be learned. Perhaps even attend the appropriate training. But this is a very useful skill that will keep your peace of mind. Of course, it’s not worth being absolutely “not punchy”, but you don’t need to take the opinion of others to heart either. And most importantly, do not forget that most people seek to impress others, caring only about themselves.
Reduce speed. Haste and several diaries, in which everything is scheduled to the minute, bring enormous harm to a person. The fact is that life according to the plan provokes the fear of not being in time, not meeting the deadlines, etc. Life rushes by, but it's not scary, you can live later. In addition, when drawing up such a plan, many forget about one little thing that often changes everything. Own capabilities are not taken into account. And human resources are not eternal, especially if they are used incorrectly.
Find your favorite job. A person on average spends 40 hours a week doing something that is, at least, uninteresting to him. And if he cannot afford to stop doing it, then stress has long been his constant companion. Ideally, good job- this is a favorite hobby for which money is paid. If there is no such hobby, then you definitely need to find it.
Sports. Everything ingenious is simple, but moderate physical activity has always been a guarantee good health and peace of mind. There are many reasons for this. Firstly, it is the strengthening of the body as a whole. Second, enjoyment and fun. And thirdly, communication with like-minded people.
Creative activities. However, for absolutely no creative people this should be the first item on the list. Drawing, embroidery, modeling, writing are great ways to calm down, a kind of meditation.

A situation may occur when nervous tension and irritation cannot be controlled. And then the only thing you can do is try not to aggravate the situation and calm down. To do this, you can use the following methods:

Stop talking to the person who is the "irritant" and leave the room to put your thoughts in order.
Abstract yourself from the environment and start breathing deeply, mentally counting your breaths.
Slowly drink a glass of water, fully focusing on the process.
Find contact with water - turn on the faucet in the bathroom, admire the fountain or concentrate and mentally imagine the source of water.
Mentally pay attention to the little things - interior details, the interlocutor's clothing style, weather, etc.
Recall a sense of humor and try to find advantages for yourself in this situation.
Laugh or cry, but only on your own.

To stop being nervous about and without it will not work right away. But this can be learned. The main thing is to understand that there should be no place in life constant stress. And learn in each case to ask yourself about the cause of nervousness. If you take your emotions under control, you can eventually achieve a full and harmonious life.

Video: how to stop being nervous

In this article, I will talk about how to stop being nervous. I will explain how to keep calm and composure in any life situation without the help of sedative pills, alcohol and other things. I will talk not only about how to suppress states of nervousness and calm down, but also explain how you can stop being nervous at all, bring the body into a state in which this feeling simply cannot arise, in general, about how to calm your mind and about how to strengthen the nervous system.

The article will be built in the form of consecutive lessons and it is better to read them in order.

When do we get nervous?

Nervousness and jitters is that feeling of discomfort that you experience on the eve of important, responsible events and events, during psychological stress and stress, in problematic life situations, and you just worry about every little thing. It is important to understand that nervousness has, as psychological so physiological causes and manifests itself accordingly. Physiologically, this is connected with the properties of our nervous system, and psychologically, with the characteristics of our personality: a tendency to experience, overestimation of the significance of certain events, a sense of insecurity in oneself and what is happening, shyness, excitement for the result.

We begin to get nervous in situations that we consider either dangerous, threatening our lives, or, for one reason or another, significant, responsible. I think that the threat to life, not so often looms before us, the townsfolk. Therefore, I consider situations of the second kind to be the main reason for nervousness in everyday life. Fear of failing, looking inappropriate in front of people All this makes us nervous. In relation to these fears, there is a certain psychological setting, it has little to do with our physiology. Therefore, in order to stop being nervous, it is necessary not only to put the nervous system in order, but to understand and realize certain things, let's start with understanding the nature of nervousness.

Lesson 1. The nature of nervousness. A necessary defense mechanism or a hindrance?

Our palms begin to sweat, there may be tremors, increased heart rate, increased pressure in thoughts, confusion, it is difficult to get together, concentrate, it is difficult to sit still, I want to occupy my hands with something, smoke. These are the symptoms of nervousness. Now ask yourself, how much do they help you out? Do they help you deal with stressful situations? Are you better at negotiating, taking an exam, or talking on a first date when you're on edge? The answer is - of course not, and moreover, it can screw up the whole result.

Therefore, it is essential to be clear that a tendency to be nervous is not a natural reaction of the body to a stressful situation or some ineradicable feature of your personality. Rather, it is simply some kind of mental mechanism fixed in the system of habits and / or a consequence of problems with the nervous system. Stress is only your reaction to what is happening, and no matter what happens, you can always react to it in different ways! I assure you that the impact of stress can be minimized and nervousness eliminated. But why remove it? Because when you're nervous:

Your thinking ability is reduced and you find it harder to concentrate, which can exacerbate a situation that requires the utmost mental resources
You have less control over your intonation, facial expressions, gestures, which can have a bad effect on responsible negotiations or a date
Nervousness contributes to a faster accumulation of fatigue and tension, which is bad for your health and well-being.
If you are often nervous, this can lead to various diseases(meanwhile, a very significant part of diseases stem from problems of the nervous system)
You worry about the little things and therefore do not pay attention to the most important and valuable in your life
Are you exposed bad habits: , alcohol, as you need something to relieve tension

Remember all those situations when you were very nervous and this negatively affected the results of your actions. Surely everyone has many examples of how you broke down, unable to withstand psychological pressure, lost control and lost. So we will work with you on this.

Here is the first lesson, during which we learned that:

Nervousness does not bring any benefit, but only hinders
You can get rid of it by working on yourself
In everyday life, there are few real reasons to be nervous, since we or our loved ones are rarely threatened, mostly we worry about trifles

I will return to the last point in the next lesson and, in more detail, at the end of the article and tell you why this is so.

You have to set yourself up like this:

I have nothing to be nervous, it bothers me and I intend to get rid of it and it's real!

Don't think that I'm just arguing about something I have no idea myself. All my childhood, and then my youth, until the age of 24 I experienced great. I couldn't pull myself together stressful situations, worried about any little thing, even almost fainted because of his sensitivity! This negatively affected health: pressure surges, “panic attacks”, dizziness, etc. began to be observed. Now all this is in the past.

Of course, it’s impossible to say now that I have the best self-control in the world, but anyway, I stopped being nervous in those situations that plunge most people into nervousness, I became much calmer, compared to my previous state, I reached a fundamentally different level of self-control. Of course, I still have a lot to work on, but I'm on the right way and there is dynamics and progress, I know what to do.

In general, everything I am talking about here is based solely on my experience of self-development, I do not invent anything and only tell about what helped me. So if I had not been such a painful, vulnerable and sensitive young man and, then, as a result of personal problems, I would not have begun to remake myself, all this experience and the site that summarizes and structures it would not exist.

Lesson 2. How to stop being nervous for any reason?

Think about all those events that plunge you into nervousness: your boss calls, you pass an exam, you expect an unpleasant conversation. Think about all these things, assess the degree of their importance to you, but not in isolation, but within the context of your life, your global plans and prospects. What is the significance of a skirmish public transport or on the road for a lifetime, and is it terrible to be late for work and be nervous about it?

Is this something to think about and worry about? At such moments, focus on the purpose of your life, think about the future, distract from the current moment. I am sure that from this perspective, many things that make you nervous will immediately lose their significance in your eyes, turn into real trifles, which they certainly are and, therefore, will not be worth your worries.

This mindset helps a lot. stop worrying about everything. But no matter how well we set ourselves up, although this will certainly have a positive effect, it will still not be enough, since the body, despite all the arguments of the mind, can react in its own way. Therefore, let's move on and I will explain how to bring the body into a state of calm and relaxation immediately before any event during and after it.

Lesson 3. Preparation. How to calm down before a responsible event.

Now some important event is inexorably approaching us, during which our ingenuity, composure and will will be tested, and if we successfully pass this test, then fate will generously reward us, otherwise we will lose. This event can be a final interview for your dream job, important negotiations, a date, an exam, etc. In general, you have already learned the first two lessons and understand that nervousness can be stopped and this must be done so that this state does not prevent you from focusing on the goal and achieving it.

And you realize what's ahead of you an important event, but no matter how significant it is, anyway, even the worst outcome of such an event will not mean the end of your whole life for you: there is no need to dramatize and overestimate everything. It is precisely from the very importance of this event that the need to be calm and not to worry arises. This is too much of a responsibility to let nervousness ruin it, so I will be focused and focused and will do my best for this!

Now we bring thoughts to calmness, remove the jitters. First, immediately throw all thoughts of failure out of your head. In general, try to calm the fuss and not think about anything. Free your head from thoughts, relax your body, exhale deeply and inhale. The simplest breathing exercises will help you relax.

The simplest breathing exercises.

It should be done like this:

inhale for 4 counts (or 4 beats of the pulse, you must first feel it, it is more convenient to do this on the neck, and not on the wrist)
hold your breath 2 counts/beats
exhale for 4 counts/beats
hold breath for 2 counts/beats and then inhale again for 4 counts/beats - all over again

In short, as the doctor says: breathe - do not breathe. 4 seconds inhale - 2 seconds hold - 4 seconds exhale - 2 seconds hold.

If you feel that breathing allows you to take deeper breaths / exhalations, then do the cycle not 4/2 seconds but 6/3 or 8/4 and so on.

Only you need to breathe with the diaphragm, that is, the stomach! During times of stress, we breathe rapidly from the chest, while diaphragmatic breathing calms the heartbeat, suppressing the physiological signs of nervousness, bringing you into calmness.

During the exercise, we keep our attention only on the breath! There must be no more thoughts! It is most important. And then after 3 minutes you will feel that you have relaxed and calmed down. The exercise is done no more than 5-7 minutes, according to the sensations. With regular practice, breathing practice helps not only to relax you here and now, but also in general. puts the nervous system in order and you are less nervous without any exercise. So I highly recommend.

You can see my video on how to do diaphragmatic breathing at the end of this article. In the video, I talk about how to deal with panic with the help of breathing. But this method will also allow you to get rid of nervousness, calm down and pull yourself together.

Other relaxation techniques are presented in my article.

Okay, so we are ready. But the time has come for the event itself. Next, I will talk about how to behave during the event, so as not to be nervous and be calm and relaxed.

Lesson 4

Show calm: even if neither the emotional mood nor the breathing exercises helped you relieve tension, then at least try with all your might to demonstrate external calmness and equanimity. And this is necessary not only in order to mislead your opponents about your current state. The expression of outer peace helps to achieve inner peace. This operates on the principle feedback, not only your well-being determines your facial expressions, but also facial expressions determine your well-being. This principle is easy to test: when you smile at someone, you feel better and more cheerful, even if you were previously in bad mood. I actively use this principle in my daily practice and this is not my invention, it is really a fact, it is even written about in Wikipedia in the article “emotions”. So the more relaxed you want to seem, the more relaxed you actually become.

Watch for facial expressions, gestures and intonation: the principle of feedback obliges you to constantly look inward and be aware of how you look from the outside. Do you seem too tense? Are your eyes not running? Are the movements smooth and measured or abrupt and impulsive? Does your face express cold impenetrability or can all your excitement be read on it? In accordance with the information about yourself received from the senses, you correct all your body movements, voice, facial expression. The fact that you have to take care of yourself already in itself helps you to gather and concentrate. And it's not just that with the help of internal observation you control yourself. By observing yourself, you focus your thoughts at one point - on yourself, do not let them go astray and take you in the wrong direction. This is how concentration and calmness are achieved.

Eliminate all markers of nervousness: what do you usually do when you are nervous? Are you fiddling with a ballpoint pen? Are you chewing on a pencil? Tie in a knot thumb and the little toe of the left foot? Now forget about it, keep your hands straight, do not often change their position. We do not fidget in a chair, we do not shift from foot to foot. We continue to take care of ourselves.

Take your time: haste, fuss always sets a special nervous tone. Therefore, do not rush even if you are late for a meeting. Since any haste very quickly knocks down composure and a calm attitude. You begin to nervously rush from one to another, in the end you only provoke excitement. No matter how you are rushed, do not rush, being late is not so scary, better save your nerves. This applies not only to important meetings: try to get rid of the rush in every aspect of your life: when you are going to work, riding in transport, doing work. It is an illusion that when you are in a hurry, you achieve results faster. Yes, the speed increases, but only slightly, but you lose a lot in composure and concentration.

That's actually all. All these principles complement each other and can be summed up in the call " look after yourself". The rest is particular and depends on the nature of the meeting itself. I would only advise you to think about each of your phrases, take your time with an answer, carefully weigh and analyze everything. You don't have to try to impress in every possible way, you will impress if you do it right and don't worry, work on the quality of your performance. No need to mumble and get lost if you were taken by surprise: calmly swallowed, forgot and move on.

Lesson 5. Calming down after a meeting.

Whatever the outcome of the event. You are on edge and still experiencing stress. Better take it off and think about something else. All the same principles work here that helped you pull yourself together before the meeting itself. Try not to think too much about the past event: I mean all sorts of fruitless thoughts, but if I spoke like this and not like that, oh, how stupid I looked there, oh, I'm a fool, but if ...! Just get rid of all thoughts from your head, get rid of the subjunctive mood (if only), everything has already passed, put your breath in order and relax your body. That's it for this lesson.

Lesson 6. You should not create reasons for nervousness at all.

This is very important lesson. Usually a significant factor in nervousness is the discrepancy between your preparation for the upcoming event. When you know everything, are confident in yourself, then why should you worry about the result?

When I studied at the institute, I missed a lot of lectures and seminars, I went to exams completely unprepared, hoping that I would carry it through and somehow pass it. As a result, I passed, but only thanks to the phenomenal luck or kindness of the teachers. Often went to retakes. As a result, during the session, I experienced such unprecedented psychological pressure every day due to the fact that I was trying to prepare in a hurry and somehow pass the exam.

During the sessions, an unrealistic amount of nerve cells were destroyed. And I still felt sorry for myself, I thought that’s how much everything had piled up, how hard it was, eh ... Although it was my own fault if I had done everything in advance (I didn’t have to go to lectures, but at least the material for preparing for the exam and passing I could provide myself with all the intermediate control tests - but then I was lazy and I was not at least somehow organized), then I would not have to be so nervous during the exams and worry about the result and that I would be taken into the army if I I won’t hand over something, as I would be confident in my knowledge.

This is not a call not to miss lectures and study at institutes, I'm talking about the fact that you need to try yourself Do not create stress factors for yourself in the future! Think ahead and prepare for business and important meetings, do everything on time and do not delay until the last moment! Always have a ready-made plan in your head, and preferably a few! This will save you a significant part of the nerve cells, and in general will contribute to great success in life. This is a very important and useful principle! Use it!

Lesson 7

In order to stop being nervous, it is not enough just to follow the lessons that I outlined above. It is also necessary to bring the body and mind into a state of rest. And the next thing I will talk about will be those rules, following which you can strengthen the nervous system and experience less nervousness in general, be calmer and more relaxed. As a result, you will understand how to stop being nervous. These methods are focused on the long term, they will make you less prone to stress in general, and not just prepare you for a responsible event.

Firstly, in order to correct the physiological factor of nervousness, and bring the nervous system to a state of rest, you need to regularly. It is very good for calming the nervous system and calming the mind. I wrote a lot about this, so I won't dwell on it.
Secondly, go in for sports () and carry out a set of measures that support recovery (contrast shower, healthy eating, vitamins, etc.). AT healthy body healthy spirit: your moral well-being depends not only on mental factors. Sport strengthens the nervous system.
Walk more, spend time outdoors, try to sit less in front of the computer.