Coming out: what is it and why do it? The meaning of the term coming out in simple words What does it mean to make coming out

Not every person will dare to loudly and publicly declare their non-traditional sexual orientation. The story of Kevin Spacey's coming out received a great response even in the United States, where homosexuality has long been perceived adequately. In Kazakhstan, a major movie theater chain used the story to advertise by offering a yearly subscription to Kazakh actors who dare to follow Spacey's example and come out. True, so far no one has confessed. And the actors can be understood: coming out is a serious and important step for an LGBT representative ..

No. 1. What is a coming out?

Coming out (coming out . - English)literally means "disclosure", "exit". This expression goes back to the phrase "Coming out of the closet", that is, "get out of the closet". From the same metaphorical closet in which LGBT people often sit, fearing public opinion.

The birth of coming out as a phenomenon is associated with the activities of fighters for the rights of sexual minorities in the middle of the 19th century and the beginning and middle of the 20th.

The idea of ​​coming out goes back to the work of Karl Heinrich Ulrichs, a German lawyer, journalist and mastermind behind the LGBT rights movement. At one time, Ulrichs was dismissed from the district court in Hildesheim because of his homosexuality.

He wrote a series of books " An exploration of the riddle of love between men", in which he proposed a somewhat naive, romantic theory about "Uranus", people who are neither men nor women, but some kind of third gender. Ulrichs considered the love between them to be more sublime than the usual connection between a man and a woman Despite the fact that Ulrichs mixed the concepts of gender identity and homosexuality in his work, LGBT people appreciate his contribution to the development of the idea of ​​coming out.The scientific term coming out was made by the North American psychologist Evelyn Hooker, who studied the problems of sexual minorities.

October 11th is considered the official coming-out day. On this day in 1987, 500,000 demonstrators marched through the streets of Washington in support of the rights of LGBT people.

Of course, coming out is usually associated with the LGBT community. But sometimes this concept is used in other contexts. For example, "alcoholic coming out", "atheist coming out" and even "vampire coming out".

No. 2. The loudest coming-outs

Not only Kevin Spacey, but many other celebrities and even politicians have publicly acknowledged their LGBT affiliation. In 1988, British actor Ian McKellen (many know him as Gandolph from The Lord of the Rings) admitted to his homosexuality on a radio station. In 2016, Twilight star Kristen Stewart came out as bisexual.

In 2014, Apple CEO Tim Cook wrote in his Bloomberg Businessweek op-ed: "While I have never denied being gay, I have never publicly acknowledged it until now. So let me be clear: I am proud to be gay and I consider homosexuality one of the greatest gifts God has given me."

Over the years, actress Judy Foster, singer Elton John and even the famous Angela Davis have come out in different years. On November 6, 2014, the Minister of Foreign Affairs of Latvia, Edgars Rinkevics, wrote on his Twitter: "Proud to be gay".

No. 3. What is the meaning of coming out?

Coming out opponents or homophobic people usually say something like: "Do it quietly in the basement, why announce your preferences to everyone." Why is it so important for representatives of the LGBT movement to come out of the shadows? Human rights activists say that coming out is necessary for a gay, lesbian, bisexual or person with a non-traditional gender identity to declare himself.

Visibility is a step towards legitimacy and acceptance. Thus, the revealed one emphasizes that he is a full-fledged representative of society, and draws attention to the problems of people with the same orientation as his. When someone famous declares his belonging to the LGBT community, this has a particularly strong effect. Although in this case, the element of PR and attracting attention cannot be ruled out.

LGBT-friendly psychologists emphasize the importance of coming out to fight stigma. This allows the one who comes out of the shadows to get rid of frustration, constant tension due to the need to hide. Also, coming out allows a person to feel more comfortable and accept himself as he is.

No. 4. Outing or forced coming out

Outing is when information about a person's sexual orientation becomes public against their will. That is, someone intentionally informs the environment of an LGBT representative about his orientation. This can be done to discredit a person if they are in a homophobic environment. Outing can also be unintentional, for example, someone close to him saw the corresponding entries in a person’s personal diary or an unclosed messenger.

No. 5. How to properly come out

Before coming out, make sure that you are sure that it is really necessary at this stage of your life. Do not forget about personal safety and weigh how it can change your life. Remember the importance of coming out, because you are doing it primarily for yourself, plus expressing your civic position.

If you are going to come out in the family, for example, in front of your parents, then take into account their attitude towards the topic of homosexuality. If it is negative, then you should not declare your orientation suddenly and abruptly. In order to smoothly move on to this topic, it may be necessary to first prepare the context and try to change the negative attitudes of a loved one. Let the parent read non-fiction literature about homosexuality or gender identity, watch a film on this topic together. The one who is about to get out of the “closet” himself will also not hurt to familiarize himself with the special literature in order to be able to answer questions if they arise.

Of course, the reaction of loved ones can be unpredictable, so if you are, for example, a minor, it is better to think in advance about where you can go to spend the night in the worst case scenario.

If you intend to come out in front of colleagues, then also weigh the pros and cons. It may be worth starting with a limited circle of people with whom you have a good relationship, rather than making an announcement over the speakerphone.

It is recommended to refrain from coming out at work if it could pose a serious risk to you, such as the prospect of losing your job, or if it could have a serious impact on your professional life.

Coming out should be done in a sober memory and sound mind, remaining cool and firm, ready for any reaction to your statement.

No. 6. Criticism of coming out

The idea of ​​coming out is usually criticized by homophobic communities and anti-gay activists. For example, the Christian organization Exodus International, which even established the "National Day Out of Homosexuality" in defiance of the "National Coming Out Day". The organization ceased operations in 2013. And her former leader made a formal apology to the representatives of the LGBT community, admitting that it is impossible to change sexual orientation.

The feminist community has an ambiguous attitude towards coming out. In particular, the queer feminist Judith Butler, in her article "Imitation and Gender Insubordination", argues that the very gesture of revealing a secret is, as it were, a recognition of one's otherness and exclusion from society. Thus, coming out, according to Butler, seems to support the fact that we live in a society where only heterosexual relationships are normal.

No. 7. Coming out symbolism

American artist Keith Haring created the official Coming Out emblem. This is a picture of a door and a man coming out of it. The unspoken anthem of the coming-out is the Diana Ross song "I'm coming out".

Coming out in Russia is still a challenge- not surprising, given the current law on "gay propaganda" and the fact that the number of people condemning homosexual relations has increased in the country to 80%. This makes preparing for an already difficult conversation even more difficult: you have to not only think through the course of the conversation, but also worry about your own safety. We talked to experts about how to go through a coming out as carefully as possible in relation to yourself - and what you should remember if you decide on it.

Alexandra Savina

Remember that there is no one way for everyone.

Of course, there is no single way - how exactly and to whom to come out (and whether to do it at all!) Everyone decides for himself. “You need to understand that coming out is a very broad concept and there is no “right” or “wrong” coming out, and start from this,” notes Vitaly Bespalov, editor-in-chief of Guys Plus. "In my opinion, there are two forms of coming out - 'revolutionary' and 'evolutionary'." The “revolutionary” option, according to Bespalov, implies that a person declares his identity immediately, abruptly and to everyone - for example, he writes a post on social networks or gathers acquaintances and friends in one place, say, for a birthday. “It's bright, beautiful, great, but not for everyone,” Vitaly notes. - What I call "evolutionary" coming out is when a person hides, for example, orientation, but gradually increases the number of loved ones who know the truth. Today he or she tells his brother about it, in a week - to his parents, in two weeks - to his friends, more and more people learn about it. Thus, gradually, after a year, two, three, five, the vast majority knows, and a person lives completely calmly. The British organization Stonewall advises to remember that coming out does not have to apply immediately to all areas of a person's life - and you should not put pressure on yourself.

Vitaly Bespalov notes that exactly what kind of coming-out will be depends on a lot of factors: “Starting from what city you live in, what society you are in (coming out in a city of 50 Moscow - these are two different coming-outs), what kind of people surround you and whether they have a clue about the situation.

Think about your own safety

This is one of the most important issues regarding coming out: given the level of homophobia and transphobia in society, it can sometimes be simply not safe to talk about your orientation and gender identity. “Remember that you don’t have to come out to anyone - if you feel unsafe physically or psychologically, it’s probably worth postponing“ leaving the closet, ”says Sasha Kazantseva, co-founder of the Open LGBT zine. - For example, in Russia, many open up to relatives after they start living separately and gain financial independence. Although at the same time there are hosts who are immediately ready to support their homosexual, bisexual and transgender children.

“It is impossible to give universal advice, but most often we are talking about coming-outs in the family - this can be the most risky and difficult area,” notes Maria Sabunaeva, head of the psychological service of the LGBT initiative group Vykhod and the Russian LGBT Network, candidate of psychological sciences Maria Sabunaeva . - No one knows for you what kind of family you have, how functional or dysfunctional it is. If it is customary in this family to beat and break the law in relation to each other, they can kick you out on the street or do something else like that, think about whether you really need to come out right now, right in front of these people. Not in order to forbid yourself to do it - decide how much you are generally ready to allow these particular people into your personal life and whether it is risky.

Maria Sabunaeva believes that before talking it is very important to assess the risks to life and health (for example, whether they can beat you), whether something threatens your well-being - for example, if you have nowhere to spend the night or you are left without a livelihood (if your parents support you or, for example, pay for education). The expert says that by assessing the risks, you can also prepare a springboard for retreat: “For example, talk with friends in advance to understand that you can stay with someone. Maybe you can collect some basic things in advance. It's very similar to briefing victims of domestic violence - unfortunately, coming outs often elicit violent responses, and so we have to instruct people as if they were being abused."

Maria Sabunaeva adds that in addition to physical violence, psychological violence is also possible, you can be pressured, blackmailed, brought to tears, and so on - and in this case it is also important to understand where to look for support. “It may be good to find out before coming out if there are special organizations in your city, whether you can sign up for a psychologist there, whether it is possible to go to a support group, whether it is possible to call a hotline. For example, there is such a line in the Russian LGBT Network, it works every day from three to nine o'clock Moscow time. Are there friends or girlfriends who will support you if something goes wrong or you will be pressured. Do you have an escape route in case the psychological pressure is too strong. Is it possible, for example, not to stay in the apartment, somehow close in your room, or you will not be allowed to do this. Protect your space in any way,” she adds.

“Of course, I am in favor of the fact that coming out is great, but there are many situations where it might be worth waiting for,” Vitaly Bespalov agrees. - If we talk about my experience, I lived in three cities - in the first there were 100 thousand people, the second was almost a million people, and the third was St. Petersburg. Coming out in the first city would be very difficult, and the consequences could be very different. It’s much easier to come out in a millionaire.”

Vitaly Bespalov notes that it may be easier and safer for someone to come out at a distance, after moving from a small town to a bigger one. “When you are in a safer space, when you have a job and you earn your own housing, then even if your parents say “You are no longer our son (not daughter),” then at least you will not be locked up at home and beaten . It's never too late to make a coming out," he says.

A separate issue that needs attention is social networks: consider whether information about your identity through them can get to someone who can harm you. Vitaly Bespalov warns against coming out on social media if you live in a small town: “This is a nice gesture, a nice coming out, but it will be irreversible - even if you delete the post in two hours, in some groups "Overheard" "VKontakte" screenshots will appear. Everyone knows each other, and it can be really dangerous.”

Ask for help

Coming out is not an easy step, and you have every right to ask for help - friendly or professional. “You can preliminarily discuss the upcoming coming out with a loved one who is already aware of your identity, or consult a psychologist at an LGBT organization for free. A specialist or a specialist will help you plan a conversation, take into account possible pitfalls, and secure yourself where it may be required,” says Sasha Kazantseva.

In addition to girlfriends and friends who are familiar with your situation and able to support you, you can always seek professional help - an LGBT-friendly psychologist who understands the specifics of coming outs in Russia, or an LGBT organization. “You and your relatives can get free psychological counseling in Moscow“ and Moscow Community Center, St. Petersburg“ Exit“ and „Action“, Yekaterinburg Resource Center, Perm „Rainbow World“, branches of the „LGBT Network“ in different cities, - says Kazantsev. “If you live in another city, in these organizations you can find out the contacts of local LGBT-friendly specialists or just talk to a psychologist on Skype.”

Think about what you will say

As with any difficult and emotional conversation, it is better to prepare for a coming-out in advance - at least think about what you will say so as not to get confused. It is worth considering the form (a personal meeting or, for example, a letter) and a convenient time for a conversation - most likely, it will not work to talk about everything on the run.

In addition, experts advise being prepared for the fact that those you open up to do not necessarily have a good understanding of the topics of gender identity and sexual orientation - which means that you may have to answer questions and explain something to them. “It is clear that such a conversation is associated with excitement, emotions. But immediately you need to imagine what questions will follow, and think over the answers to them, - says Vitaly Bespalov. - Most often they ask about the same thing. For example: “Oh, how long have you had this?”, “Oh, have you tried with a girl / haven’t you tried with a guy?”, “How did you understand (s)?” These are fairly simple questions, and you need to imagine in advance what will you answer to that. Straight people don't necessarily know everything about LGBT people."

The sexual revolution gave men and women the freedom to choose their sexual partners. As a result, same-sex couples and new concepts have appeared that relate to certain aspects of life and behavior of people with non-traditional sexual orientation. One of them is coming out, and not every person understands what this word of foreign origin means. Meanwhile, in certain circles it is actively used.

What does coming out mean?

The concept of coming out comes from the English phrase coming out, which in translation into Russian means “exit”, “disclosure”, “recognition”. Other variants of its spelling are coming out, coming out, coming out.

Wikipedia gives an explanation in an understandable language, what is coming out - the process of voluntary recognition of one's non-traditional sexual orientation or the result of this process. This term is applied to gay, lesbian, bisexual, LGBT (transgender people) who do not hide their attraction to same-sex partners.

What does it mean to make, make or announce a coming out? This means revealing your sexual attraction to a same-sex partner. The word coming out in this expression means recognition.

What is the difference between coming out and outing?

Even in the conditions of the sexual revolution, when same-sex marriages are no longer something shameful, not all people are ready to speak openly about their non-traditional orientation. However, there are those who are ready to publicly declare their own love for a same-sex partner. As a rule, this is done for the sake of gaining fame, PR, gaining popularity. Usually this happens in celebrity circles and is not always true.

On a note! The word coming out differs from the similar concept of outing, which also means putting the fact of an unconventional personal life on public display, however, by outsiders, against the will of the gay or bisexual. Outings are usually carried out to ruin someone's reputation or compromise.

A bit of history

For the first time, the details of what a coming out is were revealed in 1869 by the German journalist and lawyer Karl Heinrich Ulrichs, who actively defended the rights of sexual minorities. He argued that in order to gain popularity, it is enough to declare oneself in this way. According to him, after such recognition, one can have a significant impact on people, gain authority.

The first to come out was a poet from the United States, Robert Duncan, but it soon became known that this was the reason for his reduction from the army. He was offended and in one of the magazines began to actively resent the oppression of sexual minorities.

In the 20th century, the concept of coming out moved into the section of scientific terminology and ceased to be jargon. This happened thanks to the merits of Evelyn Hooker, who devoted a large number of works to the study of communities with non-traditional sexual orientation.

On a note! Many are accustomed to the fact that same-sex marriages abroad are treated easier than in domestic countries. And for some, it was surprising that such a word as coming out appeared in Russia.

The process of coming out

Recognition coming out is a complex multi-stage process, which means to open up not only for others, but also for yourself. According to psychologists, it is necessary to gradually reveal one's non-traditional sexual orientation. First you need to confess to the person you trust the most. For example, it could be a family member or a close friend. There are cases when all colleagues at work knew about the sexual orientation of a person, while relatives did not even know about it. This means that among close people there was simply no person who could be trusted, and the relationship with a colleague is much warmer than with family members. Sometimes it’s easier to open up to someone else than to your own.

The coming-out process consists of the following steps:

1. Think carefully about your actions and consequences.
2. Tune in, mentally imagine what the reaction of others will be after such a recognition.
3. Pick the right way. You can come out jokingly, seriously or accidentally, as if by chance.
4. Prepare for possible problems. You must always be prepared that others will negatively perceive recognition.
5. Choose the person you can trust first.
6. After the first confidential recognition, it is worth gradually opening up to other people.

These are the main tips that should be heeded by all those who are going to go against public opinion that has been established over the years.

Notable people who have come out

For many people, the fact that some famous personalities were not afraid to publicly declare their non-traditional sexual orientation can be a support.

He believed that the secret existence of minorities reduced their ability to influence public opinion, and therefore encouraged homosexuals to become more visible by coming out.

Therapist Iwan Bloch, in his work of the year titled "The Sexual Life of Our Time and Its Relation to Modern Civilization," asked older homosexuals to come out to heterosexual members of their families and acquaintances.

The first significant person to come out in America was the poet Robert Duncan. After announcing his orientation in the year, he was discharged from the army shortly after being drafted. That year, in an article in the anarchist magazine Politics signed by his real name, he stated that homosexuals were an oppressed minority.

The originally secretive human rights "Mattachin Society" founded by Harry Hay and other members of the Wallace presidential campaign of the year in Los Angeles also came into the public eye when in San Francisco at the head of the group openly gay Hal Call, Ken Burns and Don Lucas stood up.

Other people who hide their sexual orientation do not have any heterosexual contact and simply want to protect themselves from discrimination or rejection by hiding their sexual orientation or attraction. M. Beilkin states: “to understand the motivation of such behavior, special knowledge is not required. We are talking about the forced submission of a homosexual to the social rules of a society that does not encourage sexual dissent at all.

The process of coming out

• foreboding differences from other people that occurs in a person before puberty;
• doubt in heterosexual identity, falling on adolescence;
• Adoption their non-traditional identity, which may not be achieved due to hostile social attitudes;
• identification yourself as a representative of sexual minorities, establishing a connection between sexuality and emotionality, integrating your sexuality into the image of "I".

Since no specific “reasons” for the formation of the sexual identity of homosexuals have been found, the coming-out process itself and its theoretical justifications are controversial: none of the developed models can be considered exhaustive. However, they agree on one thing: the process is not linear, and a person can simultaneously solve several psychological problems related to different stages of the process.

Awareness of one's own orientation

The psychological model of the coming-out process, developed by Eli Coleman, suggests the presence of the so-called “pre-discovery” stage preceding coming-out, in which the child in early childhood begins to feel his difference from his peers, as well as the emerging conflict of his feelings with those learned in the family. negative attitudes towards homosexuality. At this stage, many people are unable to explain what is wrong with their attraction to the same sex, and feel their difference from others long before they relate it to their belonging to sexual minorities.

The psychotherapist Henley-Heckenbrück emphasizes that

"individual nuances of definition [ human] its identity is difficult to enumerate. They are determined by the characteristics of personality and character, the age when a person first became aware of his otherness, the peculiarities of the flow of physical processes, the rigidity of family views (in particular those related to sexual behavior), religious education, negative or traumatic experiences associated with sexual orientation.

The age of awareness of their homosexual experiences for gays and lesbians is different. According to observations by researchers Jay and Yang, for men this age is 13-14 years, and for women - 18. Most men begin to have sexual intercourse with people of the same sex even before they realize they are gay. Women, on the other hand, usually guess about their orientation long before entering into intimacy with persons of the same sex.

Coming out may be preceded by a period of uncertainty, when a person believes that his sexual orientation, behavior or feeling of belonging to the other sex is some kind of transient "phase", or rejects these feelings for religious or moral reasons.

Psychological and social problems of coming out

Coming out is a complex process that can have both positive and negative social and psychological consequences for the individual who commits it. In this regard, people who have already passed the coming-out and determined by trial and error what behavior is the least traumatic for the person himself and his relatives, tried to generalize this experience in the form of recommendations. The materials distributed by an American organization called Parents and Friends of Gays and Lesbians (PFLAG) do not recommend coming out during holidays and other stressful situations, for example, during quarrels.

Usually coming out is not a one-time thing, but a gradual, evolving process. In most cases, sexologists recommend "opening up" first to a trustworthy close friend or family member, and then taking a breather, postponing further confessions. Some people know about the orientation at work, but do not suspect in the family, or vice versa. However, in fact, coming out is not limited to a single confession to one person or group of people.

Some researchers have found that the degree of a person's openness about his orientation in different life situations is directly related to the absence of stress and neuroses in him.

Parental attitude towards coming out

For parents, a number of websites, as well as other publications, provide various psychological recommendations on how to adequately treat a child's coming out.

National Coming Out Day

According to the Campaign for Human Rights, an American LGBT organization, the so-called “National Coming Out Day” is called upon to consistently and organizedly implement the concept of coming out throughout society. It is held annually on October 11th. Initially, this event was held only in the United States, and then spread throughout the world. According to the organizers, it allows to reduce the possible negative consequences of coming out both for the psyche of relatives, relatives and friends of a person, and for himself.

Story

The history of the American "National Coming Out Day" is counted from October 11, when 500,000 demonstrators marched through the streets of Washington to demand equal rights for gays and lesbians. The decision to hold an annual coming out day was made in the year with the participation of Dr. Robert Eichberg (Robert Eichberg) and Jean O'Leary (Jean O "Leary), an American gay and lesbian rights activist, politician and former nun The founders of the event set the goal of acquainting the majority of the population with the LGBT community and its movement for equal rights.

Symbolism and attributes

National Coming Out Day emblem by artist Keith Haring

The emblem of the American Coming Out Day was created by the American artist Keith Haring (Keith Haring, -), who became famous in the years, who worked in the genres of urban street graphics, graffiti and pop art. In many of his works, the themes of same-sex relationships were played up.

The organizers of the event recommend that participants wear certain signs or symbols on this day: an inverted pink triangle, the Greek letter "lambda", as well as a 6-color rainbow in the form of jewelry, flags or on clothes, in order to clearly demonstrate the presence of gays, lesbians, bisexuals by their own example and transsexuals in all walks of life, among all ages and ethnic groups.

The well-known hit “I’m Coming Out” by the American pop star Diana Ross can be considered the unofficial anthem of the coming-out day in particular and the entire gay community in general. It was written and produced by composer Nile Rodgers (Nile Rodgers) in collaboration with other musicians under the influence of a party in a California disco club, where he once saw several transvestites imitating Diane. After the song was released in the spring of the year and firmly took the top lines of the charts (the highest position is the 5th line on the Billboard music magazine chart), Diana Ross became a gay icon of the LGBT community along with such artists as Madonna, Gloria Gaynor, Cher, Kylie Minogue, Barbra Streisand, Judy Garland, Marlene Dietrich and Shirley Bassey.

Support

National Coming Out Day is patronized by one of the largest LGBT organizations called the Campaign for Human Rights. She publishes special materials with recommendations on how to properly approach the issue of revealing one's orientation to relatives, relatives and friends. The organization also disseminates data on which companies and corporations are most tolerant of LGBT employees at work (the so-called "Corporate Equality Index").

Celebrity coming out

Britney Spears (left) and Madonna (right) scandalous kiss at the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards

The coming-out is most noticeable among popular people whose personal lives are constantly in the field of view of the media. These are mainly representatives of creative professions: ballet dancers, pop singers, designers, actors, directors, etc. However, some extremists also come out, for example, the British neo-Nazi Nikki Crane, who died of AIDS, confessed shortly before his death in his homosexuality.

There is a point of view that even non-gay, lesbian or bisexual representatives of pop culture resort to fake coming out in the form of "sensational revelations" or public actions as a means of increasing public interest in their person (for example, this was done by the Russian group Tatu ", using a lesbian image at the beginning of her career, as well as the singer Madonna, who kissed Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears on the lips during the performance of the song "Like A Virgin" at the MTV Video Music Awards in the year).

The case of the British pop singer George Michael illustrates the exact opposite reaction of the public: his public recognition of his own orientation in the year alienated some of his fans from his work, as a result of which the singer's popularity in the United States fell sharply, which was one of the reasons for his protracted depression and creative crisis. .

ballet dancers

Musicians, singers

actors

Designers

Politicians

April 14, 1997 cover of Time magazine, in which TV presenter Ellen DeGeneres admitted she was a lesbian

Journalists and TV presenters

Writers

Athletes

Social significance and influence

The result of the implementation of the concept of coming out within the framework of public programs (in particular, the almost 20-year annual celebration of the coming-out day and a number of other events to reduce the level of homophobia in the United States) was the fact that an Internet survey of almost 3 thousand Americans revealed : 70% of heterosexuals aged 18 and over personally know someone who is gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender (for comparison, in Russia this figure is 10% according to the statistics of the Public Opinion Foundation). Moreover, 83% of those who identify as members of the US LGBT community reported being openly gay.

Another long-term study, based on 120 public opinion polls and conducted by political science professor Kenneth Sherrill of the Center for Sexuality and Public Policy at Hunter College, in collaboration with Patrick Egan of the Center for Democratic Policy at Princeton University, found that the presence of a relative who is openly gay or lesbian, increased public support for registering gay partnerships by 17%, and improved public attitudes towards gay couples adopting children by 13%.

The theme of coming out in works of art

Some fictional works discuss the situation when a heterosexual character makes a "fake coming out", identifying himself as a member of the LGBT community for the sake of fame, money or any other preferences. In the future, the situation repeats itself, and later he performs the same “coming out procedure”, but only in the LGBT community itself, publicly declaring that he is heterosexual. For example, the film “Tango in Three” was devoted to a similar problem, and in the comedy “Chameleon” by Francis Weber, the hero of Daniel Auteuil makes a fake coming out so as not to lose his job (he works as an accountant in a condom manufacturing company, among whose clients there are a lot of homosexuals ). In the anime Strawberry Eggs, a student publicly admitted that she fell in love with her teacher, who was then publicly revealed as a guy in disguise.

The theme of teenagers coming out is also raised in the movie Krumpak.

Criticism

The largest Christian organization "Exodus International", which is part of the anti-gay movement, in 2019, as a response to the "National Coming Out Day", founded the celebration of its own "National Day Out of Homosexuality" ( National Coming Out of Homosexuality Day) in honor of "the changed lives of former homosexuals - several thousand men and women." The organization's president, Alan Chambers, states: “As one of those thousands of people who have experienced change, I know there is life beyond homosexuality. For many of those who experience loneliness and emptiness in their homosexual life, there is a way out.”

John Paulk, "ex-gay" (ex-gay) and organizer of regular anti-gay conferences called "Love overcame" (Love won out), sponsored by the defender of traditional family values ​​- the non-profit Christian organization "Focus on the Family", says : "To the millions of people who are concerned about [ homosexuality], say that coming out is the solution to their problems. But for some, this is just the beginning, and we want them to know that there is a way out of the emptiness, loneliness, and confusion experienced by many in homosexual life.”

Anti-gay activist Mike Haley, "ex-gay" and host of the "Love Overcome" conferences, claims: "Hundreds of thousands of people struggling with their sexuality, including at-risk youth, are being pushed to come out, as a means of solving their problems. People need truthful information in order to make healthy life decisions, and so-called “pride” events in this regard are only regrettable. The truth is that there is a way out for those struggling with unwanted homosexuality.”

Therapist Warren Throckmorton (Warren Throckmorton), assistant professor of psychology at Grove City College (Pennsylvania, USA), answering questions from teenagers who doubt their orientation and sexual identity, says that they do not need to rush to come out and “hang on themselves labels”: “You may not know exactly how to name your sexual feelings. You should not hastily decide which category of people you belong to. This is true for both adolescence and later in the life of young people. Some well-intentioned people, teachers or counselors may claim that young people come out and identify with gays and lesbians as early as 12 or 13 years old. Although there are some teenagers who are in a hurry to take such a step, it is actually unwise. Sexual feelings develop over a long period of time […] Teenage sex hormones are more than ever activated, so your sexual feelings can be extremely strong, but not focused on one thing. This is fine".

Criticism from a feminist perspective

The concept of coming out is also criticized by some members of the LGBT community. In particular, feminist Judith Butler (Judith Butler) says that the metaphor that contrasts the state of man "inside" and "outside the closet" implies that life "in the closet" or in the shadows is a dark, marginal and false existence, then how life "outside", "in the beams of spotlights" reveals the true essence of man. The American feminist theorist Diana Fuss explains: “The problem, of course, lies in the rhetoric of “inside-outside”: such a controversy overlooks the fact that most of us are both “inside” at the same time, as well as "outside". Fass continues: “To be ‘outside’, or ‘in plain sight’ as gay people say, actually means exactly the opposite; “to be outside” means to finally stop being constrained by external circumstances, as well as all the exceptions and hardships caused by being “inside”. In other words, "being outside" is actually being inside. Inside the visible, articulated and rational cultural space.

Theorist of gender studies and feminism Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick in her 1990 book " Epistemology of the closet”, based on literary characters, analyzes in detail the perception in modern society of the phenomenon of male homosexuality and the very “closet” that homosexuals “leave”. Kosofki criticizes the strict separation between heterosexuality and homosexuality, as well as the thesis that the homosexual is a separate type of person whose sexuality is "contagious". The author admits that, perhaps, in every man, as in a “closet”, a “female heart” is hidden and that this is not a characteristic of some “species” or “minority”, but rather one of many possible possibilities. The author comes to the conclusion that the “closet”, perceived as some kind of secret, private homosexuality, is in fact a public entity, and the “exit” from it performs the function of a kind of “performance” or “spectacle”. Denying the opposition between the private and the public, Kosowski's reasoning does not come to the fact that homosexuals "exit the closet", but to the discovery of the fact that in fact the "closet" is "transparent" or "empty". Thus, homosexuals, according to Kosofka, turn out to be only a “hastily formed group of men” for “ostentatious” purposes.

Notes

1. Constitution of the Russian Federation, Article 23 "Everyone has the right to privacy, personal and family secrets, protection of his honor and good name."
2. "Tattoo" in the lesbian wilds. Moscow's comsomolets. No. 46, December 22, 2000
3. Johansson, Warren & Percy, William A. "Outing: Shattering the Conspiracy of Silence." Harrington Park Press, 1994
4. Gross, Larry. "Contested Closets: The Politics and Ethics of Outing". Minneapolis & London, University of Minneapolis Press, 1993
5. Meeker, Martin Behind the Mask of Respectability: Reconsidering the Mattachine Society and Male Homophile Practice, 1950s and 1960s". Journal of the History of Sexuality - Volume 10, Number 1, January 2001, pp. 78-116
6. Paul Varnell. " Revising Early Gay History". October 2, 2002, Chicago Free Press
7. Hooker, Evelyn. Male Homosexuals and Their Worlds. Sexual Inversion: The Multiple Roots of Homosexuality. Judd Marmor, ed. New York: Basic Books, 1965, pp. 83-107.
8. Gay pioneer's papers enter Library of Congress
9. M. M. Beilkin. The Gordian Knot of Sexology. Polemical Notes on Same-Sex Attraction”, pp. 89-91
10. Ericson, E. (1946) "Ego development and historical change". The Psychoanalytic Study of the Child, 2: 359-96
11. Davis D., Neil C. "Pink Psychotherapy: A Guide to Working with Sexual Minorities", St. Petersburg: Peter, 2001, ISBN 5-318-00036-3
12. Grace, J. (1977) "Gay despair and the loss of adolescence: a new perspective on same sex preference and self-esteem." Presented at the 5th Biennial Professional Symposium of the National Association of Social Workers, San Diego, November
13. de Monteflores, C. and Schultz, S.J. (1978) "Coming out". Journal of Social Issues, 34(3): 59-72
14. Kimmel, D.C. (1978) "Adult development and aging: a gay perspective". Journal of Social Issues, 34(3): 113-30
15. Cass V.C. (1979) "Homosexual identity formation: a theoretical model". Journal of Homosexuality, 4:219-35
16. Troiden, R.R. (1979) "Becoming homosexual: a model of gay idetity acquisition". Psychiatry, 42(4): 362-73
17. Woodman, N.J. and Lenna, H.R. (1980) Counselling with Gay Men and Women: A Guide for facilitating Positive Lifestyles. San Francisco, CA: Jossey Bass
18. Coleman, E. (1981/82) "Development stages of the coming out process". Journal of Homosexuality, 7:31-43
19. MacDonald, G.J. (1982) "Individual differences in the coming out process of gay men: implications for theoretical models". Journal of Homosexuality, 8(1): 47-60
20. Minton, H. and MacDonald, G.J. (1983/84) "Homosexual identity formation as a development process". Journal of Homosexuality, 9(2/3): 91-104
21. R. R. Troiden (1989). "The formation of homosexual identities". Journal of Homosexuality, vol. 17, No. 1/2/3/4, pp. 43-74.
22. Jay, K. and Young, A. (1979) "The Gay Report: Lesbians and Gay Men Speak Out About Sexual Experiences and Lifestyle." New York: Simon and Shuster
23. Hanley-Hackenbruck, P. "Psychotherapy and the 'coming out' process". Journal of Gay and Lesbian Psychotherapy, 1(1): 21-39
24. Weinberg, T. (1978) "On doing and being gay: Sexual behavior and male self-identity." Journal of Homosexuality, 4:143-56
25. 19 Tips for a Successful Coming Out
26. Eight Tips for Coming Out
27. http://www.pflag.org/fileadmin/user_upload/holiday_tips.pdf
28. Cohn, I. “Moonlight at Dawn. Faces and masks of same-sex love. Part III. Me and others - In search of myself
29. Evelyn Hooker, "The adjustment of the male overt homosexual", Journal of projective techniques, XXI 1957, pp. 18-31
30. Answers to Your Questions About Sexual Orientation and Homosexuality // American Psychological Association FAQ
31. T. B. Dmitrieva, director of the V. P. Serbsky Center for Social and Forensic Psychiatry, academician of the Russian Academy of Medical Sciences, doctor of medical sciences, professor, writes in her work Guide to Forensic Psychiatry (2004): “Modern official Russian psychiatry opposes any psychiatric treatment, whether "conversion" or "restorative" therapy, based on the premise that homosexuality itself is a mental illness, or on the premise that the patient must be willing to change his sexual orientation. As for practice, there is not a single case known that psychiatric or drug treatment in this area had a positive result. Sexual, sensual, emotional experiences of a person are artificially unchangeable.
32. Average age of coming out - 13 years
33. Dale O "Leary. Gay Teens and Attempted Suicide
34. Teen Suicide
35. Excerpt from Miletski, Hani. "Understanding Bestiality and Zoophilia". East-West Publishing, LLC, 2002, ISBN 0-9716917-0-3
36. Pet-abuse.com: Admitted zoophile beaten by father with crowbar
37. Richard Dyer (2002). "The Culture of Queers". ISBN 0-415-22376-8
38. Blood & Honor - Britain's fascists split
39. Oi! – The Truth by Garry Bushell
40. Jim DeRogatis. Kiss them off. Chicago Sun-Times, Aug 29, 2003
41. Barry Walter. Listen, without prejudice - pop musician George Michael's professional life. The Advocate, May 12, 1998
42. Judy Wieder. All The Way Out George Michael. The Advocate, Jan 19, 1999
43. Rudolf Nureyev: the tragedy of the richest dancer // RIA Novosti
44. Italian writer writes book about 10 "great homosexual passions of the 20th century"
45. Claude Bernardin, Tom Stanton. Rocket Man: Elton John from A-Z. Praeger/Greenwood, 1996. ISBN 0-275-95698-9. Page 48.
46. Walters, Suzanna Danuta. All the Rage: The Story of Gay Visibility in America. University of Chicago Press, 2003. ISBN 0-226-87231-9. Page 4.
47. Burston, P. "Honestly". Attitude 1.4 (August 1994): pp. 62-69. http://www.glbtq.com/arts/pet_shop_boys.html