What helps a person find a way out. A hopeless, difficult life situation - how to find a way out of an impasse
How many times do we mentally return to the time when it was possible to “lay straws”, but we did not. And now, we are faced with an unthinkable task - to find a way out of a difficult situation. Our brain is feverishly looking for options for the development of events, trying not only to find the cherished “door”, but also to act in such a way as not to “lose face”.
For some, a hopeless situation is like a labyrinth in which a person wanders in search of a solution to a problem. It seems to others that the earth is gone from under their feet, and they fly into the abyss. Each person perceives differently. However, always ask yourself the question: “What to do?” But never look for those responsible for your problem. In the first place, only you yourself are to blame for what happened to you. Do not waste your efforts on unnecessary clarification of the relationship, direct them towards making constructive decisions.
Remember how Nikolai Fomenko said about hopeless situations? Ingenious saying: "Even if you are eaten, there are always two ways out." Therefore, remember the exit rules difficult situation:
You are already inside this problem, it is impossible to avoid it, and you will not be able to return to the starting point.
Ask for help from acquaintances or friends. It might be easier for you to describe your problem to a stranger who will give you good advice.
Many people are used to solving their problems on their own. If you are one of them, close the doors, turn on soft music, and start looking for a way out. Do not force yourself to go "on a bow" to strangers. If you do not want someone else to take part in solving the problem, you do not need to. Do it yourself.
Breathing exercises.
Being in search of a way out of the situation, a person stays in. At this point, his blood pressure rises, his heart beats wildly, sweating increases, and so on. Right now you need the skills breathing exercises(yoga, tai chi). It's fine if you already own them, but it's never too late to start learning.
Nature has a relaxing effect on nervous system person. This is especially true of large open reservoirs. Therefore, try to leave all worries behind and go for a walk to the lake. Sit, think, look at the water surface, swans and ducks swimming on it. Try to dive into the water yourself. If it happens in summer, then a river or lake will do, if in winter - a pool. As a last resort, lie down in the bathtub, into which you drop a few drops of vanilla and rosemary. Water helps to concentrate, discard all unnecessary, and come to the right decision.
Physical training.
In order to feel in good shape every day, it is not necessary to play sports to the point of exhaustion. To focus your thoughts on the problem, engage in monotonous, not difficult activities. For example, put things in order in the house, in the garage or pantry.
Have you abandoned embroidery or knitting for a long time, because you simply didn’t have enough time for it? Find it now. Be sure to do something pleasant and useful for yourself. Finally, if you have never had this hobby, go to the cinema,.
Be healthy.
Of course, there is no direct relationship between the search for a way out and the state of your health. But in order to make good use of the time that you spend looking for a way out of the situation, health prevention is well suited. Each person thinks that tomorrow or the day after tomorrow he will go to the doctor and improve his health, which has been shaken over the years. But that tomorrow or the day after tomorrow may never come. Therefore, choose the moment when you feel too sorry for yourself, so you need to do something nice for your own body.
Of course, men will now laugh. But, don't be fooled! They love it too feminine word. Buy what you have been wanting for so long. Please your loved one, because today it took too much to find a way out of the situation. Have you been staring at those red shoes in the window for a long time? Buy them, finally, amuse your pride. Do you like alloy wheels that will look so great in the overall design of the car? Do not deny yourself anything! The joy of buying is above all! And in the evening, when the euphoria subsides, and only a feeling of deep satisfaction remains, start looking for solutions again.
Every person in this life has a dream of an intangible plan. For some, this is a trip to the opera, others want to be on the ocean shore under the moonlight, others dream, finally, of going to their parents in the village.
Life is too fleeting, and dreams remain unfulfilled. Therefore, if you have a financial opportunity, drop everything and go on an adventure or to mom and dad. At one fine moment, you realize that it was this trip or hike that became the starting point from which the process began, during which you found a way out of a conflict or other unpleasant situation.
Now it doesn't mean the people who have become your friends. Let's talk about pets. Everyone thinks that it would be possible to have a pet. Maybe that moment has come? Today he will please you with his presence, and will not give up after stress, and tomorrow you will become for him best friend. Now you just need to choose who it will be - a puppy, a kitten, a parrot or silent fish.
Think about the problem, don't discount it. She will not go anywhere without your participation. After all, it is only yours, and no one can solve it for you. However, do not go in a vicious circle, do not drive yourself into a corner, and even more so, into stress. Try to align your thoughts
Date: 2015-05-13
Hello site readers.
In this article, we will analyze a serious topic: . Personally, I believe that not every person in his life falls into such difficult situation. And yet, most people find themselves in such a trap at least once in their lives. And what to do when you don’t know what to do, where and how to look for a way out. You will learn about it here in this article.
First, I want to tell you what you should not do when you are in a dead end. Unfortunately, many people start using alcohol or drugs when they think you are writing: "Gone". I don’t know why they do it, but a person will definitely not find a way out in a bottle or a syringe. On the contrary, the situation will become even worse, as narcotic drugs overshadow the ability to think clearly and assess the situation. And if you find yourself in an impasse, the worst thing you can do is start drinking alcohol or using drugs. Don't you dare act like that.
Some people start whining. There is even a parable on the subject:
“Two friends were walking in the forest and found a cave. They decided to go there out of curiosity. They were so carried away walking through the dark cave that they did not notice how they got lost in it. Realizing this, one of the friends began to shout:
We will die, no one will find us.
A day passed, and he kept exclaiming about his impending death. And later his friend said to him:
“Maybe we should look for a way out?”
And the same thing happens in other people's lives. As something happened, they begin to whimper instead of looking for a way out. There is a way out even in a hopeless situation, you just need to look for it. That's why, important rule- keep calm. The answer may come to you in a few days, weeks or even months. This happened many times in my life, and I became convinced that calmness is strength.
Now for some practice. You still have to take a piece of paper and start making a divergent map to get out of the impasse. A divergent map means several ways to solve a problem. For example, they were fired from their jobs. For some people, this is already a dead end. But the way out is still on the surface. After all, you can post your resume on the Internet, buy newspapers and start looking for vacancies on your own, attend interviews, ask acquaintances and friends about job opportunities, learn a new profession, or even create your own business.
That is, your task is not to be like the person who sat and shouted that the end had come to them, but to become the person who will look for a way out of the cave. The exit is not always found immediately. Still, you'll have to be patient. And that's what I want you to buy. I myself many times looked for ways out of difficult situations and realized that patience is a powerful force. It is this strength that will help you not to merge in your attempts.
Sometimes, in order for the problem to be solved, it is necessary to let go of the situation. This means not dwelling on what happened. For example, if a new job is not being looked for, then you can temporarily score on searches and take care of yourself. This does not mean at all that now you have to wait for manna from heaven. Are you still looking for new job, but without fanaticism and any expectations. And I am sure that when a person goes to something without tension, everything works out for him.
In a difficult situation, a friend can help you find a way out. Most people (sometimes me) rely too much on themselves. They withdraw from outside help instead of accepting it. This is their big misconception. Ego and pride make it difficult for a person to even think a little about asking for help. I'd rather decide everything myself, and be a hero, than someone will help me, after which I will feel miserable and insignificant. Hence the task for you, think about those people who will help you. Don't be afraid to ask them for help.
All dead ends are only in your head. Learn to look at the situation from the outside, thereby moving away from it. Are you good at giving advice to other people? Now give yourself some advice. Start having a dialogue with yourself. That is, ask yourself a question, and then try to answer it. You will definitely get the answer, but whether you accept it or not, this is your business.
I strongly recommend that you mentally support yourself. Your mind must be calm. And the following statement will help you with this: "Everything will be great!". Whenever you are nervous about feeling trapped, repeat this phrase. She is . The second thought that should be spinning in your head is as follows: "Everything that is not done, everything is done for the better". You have heard this phrase hundreds and hundreds of times. And now you need to repeat it hundreds and hundreds of times.
Good day, our dear readers! Irina and Igor are in touch again. Life is diverse and for each of us, it prepares something “its own”. You never even know what's in store for us. tomorrow not to mention the future. Often life prepares real “trials” for us: tests of our strengths, capabilities, faith, feelings, or something else.
Such difficult situations either make us stronger or completely "break" us. Today we want to discuss the question of how to find a way out of a difficult life situation.
Emotions
Difficult situations happen in the life of each of us, sometimes even too often. But this is not a reason to fall into despair or break up into thousands of actions at the same time. First you need to deal with your emotions.
Do not blame yourself for what happened or accumulate resentment against someone else, as this will not bring you closer to a way out of the current circumstance. But also save in yourself negative emotions not worth it! Try to take them out in the safest way for yourself or those around you.
For example, go to gym and show the punching bag "who's the boss" or try to throw out your feelings in a picture, on paper, in the sand or with the help of another creative approach.
The method of “shouting” is not very effective. Just try not to use it on loved ones or friends. It is better if you find the object of your angry cry among the stones in nature. You can even draw a face on the stone to make it easier to speak.
hardening
Everyone knows the phrase:
What doesn't kill us makes us stronger!
This is exactly the case here! Difficult situations appear in everyone's life from time to time, and this does not mean that they should be feared or avoided. It just means that life "considers" you as a strong opponent and wants to "test" the depth of your power!
They say there is a simple truth:
Hard days don't come to those who couldn't handle them!
Remember this in Hard time. Remember that you should not give up even when it seems that "everything is lost." Take the next difficulties of life as a tempering element!
respite
Sometimes, in order not to break firewood, a little respite is required. You should abstract from the problem, try not to think about it for a while. Such a measure is necessary in order to see the best solution in the formed situation.
Go for a walk with the kids or go out into nature, take time to meditate, or just take up a hobby that will distract you.
Such actions will help to “get away” from the problem for a while. And returning to it again will provide you with a “new angle” of vision that you can use to get out of this situation for your own benefit.
Flexible Plan
Any "deviation" from the plan drives you into a panic? Do you regard this as an emergency situation that requires a lot of money?
In this case, you only need to improve your skills, structuring tasks and prioritizing. Pay attention to the study of time management techniques that will allow you to become more "flexible" in matters of drawing up plans and controlling the time for their implementation.
You can get acquainted with these techniques with the help of video courses:
- “The master of time is highly productive time management according to the system of Evgeny Popov”
- "Time management, or how to increase your efficiency"
Flow
Some difficult situations may not lend themselves to analysis, or you cannot find a way out of such circumstances for a long time. In such cases, it is useful to let everything go by itself.
Perhaps this approach will allow you to relax and discover an unexpected solution. Or the very "flow" of time to correct the current situation in your favor.
It is not necessary to spend this time aimlessly, think about possible consequences or about possible new difficulties. It is useful at this time to evaluate your strengths, capabilities and energy reserves in order to resist everything.
Knowing what can happen and what to do in this case will also be useful. For example, study the book by Leslie Garner, Brian Luke Seaward Crises are life lessons. Life in harmony (set of 2 books)» .
learn a lesson
Every situation in life teaches us something.
Difficult situations teach us even more than the entire school curriculum.
It is important to be able to select for yourself the same important lesson that life has given you. It will become invaluable in terms of building and achieving in your life.
But this does not mean that the main idea of difficulties will be: “I'm not ready! I will never be able to do that!” Not! It's just, “I'm not ready! I need more knowledge to make this happen!”
Never forget about learning and strive to learn more, for example, you can take a free online video course “Setting and achieving goals. How to achieve results in any business? .
How do you deal with difficult life situations? Do you prefer to find a way out or try to "go with the flow"? Share your knowledge.
Perhaps our article will be useful for someone close to you, do not forget to give them a link to read. And we are preparing new ones for you interesting topics so as not to miss - just subscribe to updates! See you soon!
Best regards, Irina and Igor
It is worthwhile to immediately find out which hopeless situations Is there a way out in life? About those in which the "care" of further existence takes the law into its own hands, and it is not worth thinking about. There is no way out of such situations - they need to be accepted and adapted.
Here at the stage "adapt" and you will have to mobilize yourself, as they do when the solution of the problem depends on themselves.
What to do in a hopeless situation?
A hopeless situation is a set of problems that seem to grow like a snowball rolling down a mountain. It rarely happens that there is only one problem. It is worth swaying, and the number of troubles increases. Simple practice- in such a situation, a person begins, first of all, to look for the culprit of what happened, loses time, feels sorry for himself.
This is not constructive - in adults, problems rarely resolve on their own, and it is impossible to forget about existing troubles.
In children, the decision can be made by parents, but here you have to figure it out yourself. How to find a way out of a hopeless situation and what to do if everything in life is “bad”?
Where to go in case of serious problems
In case of a desperate situation, you need to turn to yourself. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and try to analyze what is happening.
Then you should cast aside stupid pride and call for help from everyone who can help in some way. It can be close friends, distant, former friends. If the situation is really serious, then you should try to find common points contact with negative people. Previously, in such cases, the expression was used - "beat the alarm". It is very likely that during communication it will be possible to find a way out of the impasse.
At the same time, it is necessary to draw up an action plan, which includes a real assessment of events and the possibility of action.
- You need to take a position - difficulties are necessary in order to prove your worth. So, one should not cry, but thank fate for the test;
- Then they write down their thoughts - what they think about what happened, what needs to be done first of all, what feelings lurk in the depths of their souls. Sad emotions should be discarded;
- Then they figure out where to turn in a hopeless situation, collect information, calculate options for solving problems: where to go, what papers are needed, what prevents them from doing it now ..;
- The more options, the better. Let some of them be the most fantastic, but crumbs of truth can also be hidden in them. You need to throw at least 15-20 options. You can even dream how "it will be all plain sailing". The soul will become easier;
- They schedule the mode of appeals and walking through the authorities - sometimes you need to draw up a minute-by-minute schedule in order to be in time everywhere;
- We must try to recruit assistants who will provide at least minimal assistance. In order to bring a piece of paper, it will not take much time, and why not ask a friend who works next to the desired office or organization.
Having drawn up a detailed action plan, you need to fully mobilize yourself to achieve success and not deviate from what was planned. But you should always consider alternative situations - if the plan has failed, the actions are corrected.
Psychological problems
Thinking about whether there is a way out of a hopeless situation, one must not forget about psychological problems that appeared after realizing the gravity of the situation. You should take yourself away from depression, which often appears when you realize your own powerlessness or in stressful situations.
You can't close. You have to try to reach out to people. It can be old friends and barely familiar people - let life boil around.
Next, you should act on your own character. Someone needs to speak out, another to try to remove the experience away. You can advise to turn to God, go to the temple - communication with religion helps to ease the soul.
But one should not go to extremes on the path of knowledge - there are sects that find "victims" for themselves among desperate people, so one cannot blindly trust new acquaintances. If for a while you had to leave active life, you should take this as a gift of fate. While there is an opportunity, you need to go in for sports, self-education, expand your intellect, go to a hairdresser and change your image. This will help you become more creative and achieve further success.
Everyone has their own methods of overcoming obstacles:
- go to nature;
- arrange shopping;
- constantly visit noisy companies;
- internet communication.
If you have a dream, now is the time to make it come true.
Jumping with a parachute or from a tower, throwing junk out of the house, making peace with the enemy or getting a dog - the “feat” will make you mobilize to fight difficulties. It is necessary to facilitate your own existence as much as possible in order to “emerge” full of strength in the future.
Out of crisis situations, there are 3 exits - you need to choose the best one for yourself.
- Look for solutions to the current problem, having previously understood why it arose;
- Accept the situation and just go with the flow without making any effort to overcome it. To designate the crisis as a passed stage, and in the future not to focus on the past, trying to forget it faster. Yes, you will have to put up with a lot, but sometimes this is the only way to avoid serious losses and not change the circumstances you are used to.
It is worth dwelling on this method in more detail. family situation. If you don’t want to change the existing way of life, then you shouldn’t fight for a “partner”. Most likely, he is waiting for the first step. There will be no step, everything will end on its own.
Work problems. It is very difficult to simply tell a person about dismissal. If he himself does not start to recognize and “twitch”, then the indecisive boss retreats for a while, and in the future the conversation may not take place at all.
Ecology of life: Each of us has heard such a phrase - "a hopeless situation" many, many times. Usually in such cases we are talking about something very unpleasant, which, it seems, cannot be avoided.
Each of us has heard such a phrase - "a hopeless situation" many, many times. Usually in such cases it is about something very unpleasant, which, as it seems, cannot be avoided.By itself, a "hopeless situation" is extremely convenient: here is a "hopeless situation" - that's all, and there's nothing to be done. She is like this, she is “hopeless”, and I, good, white and fluffy, have nothing to do with it.
There are no questions, sometimes it really happens, but even in this case it does not at all follow that you are freed from eliminating the consequences of the unfortunate "hopeless situation", and perhaps even the prerequisites for it. Finallyit turns out that your "hopeless situation": firstly, not so hopeless, and secondly, largely depends on you. Ilya Pozhidaevspecially for proposes to consider this question on more or less typical examples ...
Imagine a situation: a new management came to the company where you work - and announced a massive "reduction" of a number of employees, and among the unfortunate "reduced" - you. Write "in your own way" - and get out of the company.
The first reaction is, of course, shock and a sense of hopelessness. But then you can pull yourself together and understand what is really happening. If the new boss is still at least minimally adequate, then you can talk with him about what you can agree with him. Look, everything will work out. You will remain, and without squabbles and scandals.
If the newly-minted head of the office directly in your eyes declares that someone's son (for example, his) is planned to take your place, but you still need this office, scare your new boss prosecutor's office, labor inspectorate and something else like that. Especially if you are a punctual and executive employee without any complaints.The boss will be terribly scared and will leave you behind, the guarantee is 146%. And the situation, which at first glance seems fatally insoluble, is actually very solvable, and in a way that is beneficial to you.
Consider a hypothetical second "hopeless" example - betrayal. It doesn't matter whose: wife, mistress, friend, relative, business partner, someone else. And it doesn’t matter what exactly this betrayal was expressed in. There is simply a given: you are faced with the meanness and injustice of a person who is not a stranger to you.
The situation, it would seem, is hopeless, incorrigible, etc. etc. But… First, this is a good tutorial: people need to be at least a little more discriminating. Secondly, this may be a chance to finally get rid of people who are not quite suitable or even completely not suitable for you. And maybe this thirdly, you did something wrong- then just understand that - and try not to do this in dealing with people in the future.
The third hypothetical "hopeless" example - you were robbed or robbed. As you understand, the likelihood that the valiant law enforcement agencies themselves will find the criminal, to put it mildly, is small. Stupor gives way to panic, panic smoothly turns into hysteria. Million stolen. It seemed to be a complete dead end. But no!
First, it is up to you whether you will stir up the appropriate competent law enforcement agency or not (believe me, they are afraid of complaints to the prosecutor's office!). Secondly, when the thief is found (and when competent work authorities, secured, including by you, the scoundrel will certainly be found), you can demand the money stolen from you from the thief. More activity - and it turns out that the situation again has a more or less favorable outcome.
In principle, you can continue indefinitely. General meaning is as follows: if you understand the ins and outs of the “insoluble” situation that has arisen, especially the reasons for its occurrence, and at the same time competently and actively act on your own in a constructive way, the impossible turns out to be few in practice.
Indeed, there is only one totally and obviously hopeless situation - death, including violent (although in some cases it also depends on you whether to wander along dark alleys or not). Well, sometimes there are other, extremely few, processes that develop according to some kind of their own internal logic and, accordingly, do not depend on us at all. To say that in general everything is in our hands is probably still somewhat presumptuous.
This will be of interest to you:
But in general, there is an acceptable way out for you in 99% of cases, no matter how catastrophic the problem seems to you. But even if the development of events stubbornly bumps into that very ill-fated 1%, you can still extract a share of positive even from it if you wish. At least as a life experience.And, for God's sake, do not rush to declare the situation "hopeless": "hopeless situations" are actually very, very few!