How to love yourself, increase your self-esteem and start living in harmony with yourself? How to love yourself: effective tips that will help everyone

Loving yourself is very important, but not every woman is given this art as easily as we would like. Where do many problems come from? In fact, from the depths of your own consciousness - there is a source. We ourselves put taboos, clichés, underestimate ourselves, find fault, come up with possible best options past events, we think a lot about the bad, we consider ourselves unworthy of something. How to deal with the problem and learn to love yourself first?

External data - looking for advantages

No ugly women! Even if you were told otherwise, remember that bad things are remembered better. There are many jokes on this subject. For example, this: "He can tell her a hundred times that she is beautiful, but she will only remember that he hinted at her fullness." This is the whole point. Many do not know how to focus on the good, but only remember the bad.

How to work on yourself:

Remember the compliments you received. If you do not communicate with people much, upload to any group of your favorite social network beautiful photo. You will write something good!

· Reward yourself. In every little thing you need to praise yourself beloved. Do it mentally or out loud - it doesn't matter, start from the circumstances.

· Do not be lazy. Beautiful hair, a clean body, a neat manicure - this gives self-confidence. You will fall in love with the very beauty that you will see every day in the mirror.

Opinion of others

Have you ever thought about how hard life is when you try to take into account the opinions of others? Remind yourself every time: “I live for myself!”. The main thing is not to disturb or harm anyone, and everything else is just stereotypes. Love your life and everyone who is important in it. There will always be those who want to criticize you, even if you become Miss World.

Take criticism easier, remember praise, praise other people. Criticism should be taken as an opinion from the outside. You can take a closer look at it and draw conclusions, but you don’t need to take its essence as a template.

When you learn to listen, first of all, to your inner voice, you will become happier. And you will not have time to look back, how to love yourself.

Think positive, dream

Have you thought about the composition of your thoughts? Most of us are used to immersing ourselves in problems, feeling sorry for ourselves, twisting the same unfortunate situation dozens of times in our thoughts. And this is a big mistake!

Everyone has failures. You need to draw conclusions, but not go in cycles. Life goes on! You are beautiful, full of strength, beauty and ... that same love for yourself.

Think more about the good, try to catch yourself in the negative and drive it away. Dream more, make plans, goals. Learn to have fun, even if you feel lonely today.

Remember - you are beautiful, even despite the flaws! It remains only to emphasize this beauty. And when you love yourself, others will change their attitude towards you too.

Very often you can hear the phrase: "No one loves me, everyone treats me badly." But do you love yourself? Just answer this question honestly. Do you often criticize yourself? Do you like your reflection in the mirror? Do you approve of yourself in all your actions? Now think about your answers.

Instruction

Start pampering yourself. Get yourself a new haircut. Go to a beauty salon. Or arrange a beauty salon at home. Get yourself a manicure. Take a bath with foam or rose petals. Light candles, pour wine or champagne. And just relax. This is the first step on the way to yourself.
Maybe you have long wanted to learn the step. So make your dream come true. Sign up for dance lessons - and go

Watch your appearance. If you have a habit of going to the store in stretched sweatpants, get rid of it urgently. Of course, some have a different opinion, they say: "And for whom will I dress"? And you start dressing for yourself. Stop and start choosing your clothes more carefully (for work, cultural events and holidays). To appearance also applies to reluctance to paint. It's not what it takes evening make-up before going to the store. A protective face cream, a little mascara and a transparent gloss will be enough. Soon you will enjoy the attention that you will be bestowed everywhere and always.

Praise yourself more. Something happened, say to yourself: "Well done"! And if something fails, no big deal. Get it next time. Most importantly, don't criticize yourself. There will be people who will do it for you. Don't try to be perfect ideal people no. Just do what you want (within the law, of course) and what you like.

Remember positive affirmations. Stand in front of a mirror and say to yourself: “I am myself. I am the best, the most beautiful. Everything always works out for me.” Or come up with an affirmation yourself and repeat it every day. Even if you don't believe in the power of words, at least try it. And you will see how positive affirmations will change your life in.
Start doing all of these right now. Your life will begin to change for the better only when you want it to. Everything depends on your thoughts. Love yourself now and the world will respond in kind.

Related videos

The topic of self-love is relatively recent. Many psychologists and proponents of positive thinking insist that the old system we were all brought up with ruled out the very phenomenon of self-love. From childhood, people were taught that in the first place a person should have a job, study, family, and a lot of other things. No one had the time or energy to love themselves.

Instruction

Many people confuse themselves with the concept of selfishness. Of course, in order to draw attention to yourself, you need a little ego, otherwise a person will continue to live for others. Loving yourself is keeping your body healthy, keeping your thoughts clean, pampering yourself with small gifts, and still feel like a person. Of course, everyone associates the very fact of self-love in their own way. The most important thing is for a person to be sure that he does not infringe on himself in anything and lives in harmony with himself.

A person who loves himself will never harm his own body and health. He will adhere healthy lifestyle life and healthy eating. If you want your own body, start doing fitness. Do not love intensive classes and don't imagine yourself gym? Start practicing yoga or qigong. Have you always dreamed of dancing? Dance clubs of all directions are at your service. So you not only create beautiful body, but also significantly strengthen the body, remove energy blocks become a flexible person.

Love yourself is a must. There are special exercises, with which you can learn to love yourself.

But before moving on to the exercises, I will give a few signs that clearly indicate about the lack of self-love.

Signs of self-loathing:

  1. Man often feels guilty, and regardless of whether there is a reason or not.
  2. Periodically, thoughts arise in my head about my own imperfection, about shortcomings, bad luck, and so on. If he notices that strangers are paying attention to him or hears someone laughing nearby, then the first thing he thinks about is a person with a lack of self-love so it's about something wrong with him.
  3. Often trying to justify even in response to compliments.
  4. Stiff movements, stooped back and sad expression. As a rule, in such people the corners of the eyes, mouth and eyebrows are lowered down.
  5. Man inclined complain about life, that everything is wrong, that he cannot change anything, it is not in his power and strength.
  6. Often remembers his failures, unpleasant situations, playing them in memory again and again, telling others about them. For example, about how the interview for the desired position did not go through, about a major quarrel with a relative, about divorce or parting with a loved one, etc.
  7. Seeing his reflection, pays attention mainly for your own shortcomings and not on merit.

Perhaps enough. Someone can see all the above signs, someone will agree that he has one or two of the above, someone will find a little more ... Of course, the fewer such "signals", the better. But if they are, then this is an occasion to think and reconsider your attitude towards yourself. Maybe you dislike yourself a little?

10 reasons to love yourself:

  1. If you do not love yourself, then how can you expect others to love you.
  2. No matter how you look, no matter how people think you are, you are the only and unique creation of the universe here and now, such as you do not exist anywhere else. Even if you have a twin sister or brother, you still experience different events and treat them from your own point of view and get your own experience, which means you cannot be alike - you are a jewel that denies itself a worthy frame .
  3. No matter how you consider yourself, you are an integral part of this life and perhaps only you have the opportunity to change your life for the better, in a word, look or deed.
  4. Only by experiencing love for yourself, you can give it to another. After all, it is impossible to give something without knowing what it is.
  5. Self-love is the first step towards inner and outer harmony in your life.
  6. By showing love for yourself and your body, you do not give a chance to diseases and sorrows to break your spirit.
  7. Loving yourself, you love the life you live, which means that the same wonderful people are attracted to you.
  8. Self-love is the ability to create and create something for the life around you.
  9. When you love yourself, you will discover your true self.
  10. Having fallen in love with yourself, you will open the world that passed by you and become a part of life that you did not notice. And most importantly, you will finally begin to live, and not exist.

How to love yourself:

Now is the time to move on to exercises to help you love yourself:

1. Praise yourself

Praise yourself as often as possible. Praise for a deliciously cooked breakfast, for not smoking a cigarette, for climbing the stairs instead of using the elevator, for being able to call this harmful client, for a job well done ... Skip the unpleasant moments by, do not dwell on them, but if there is something to praise yourself for (and there are always such things), be sure to do it. Remember actions worthy of praise and praise yourself again. You can give yourself five minutes before bed, and during this time remember all the good things of the day and praise yourself.

2. Give yourself gifts

Are you sad Bad mood Are you nervous, are you stressed? Give yourself a gift! Treat yourself to something you love. It can be going to the cinema, a delicious lunch, new clothes or shoes, reading an interesting site, a cup of coffee… Just think: what would you like? And give yourself such a gift! Just be sure to treat it as a gift. Think about giving yourself something nice right now. Do we give gifts to those we love? And it gives them pleasure. So why not give yourself a gift? After all, we love ourselves too, we also need to please ourselves.

3. Talk to your reflection

Every day five to ten minutes spend conversations with your reflection. To do this, it is better to use a large mirror in which you can see your entire reflection. Position yourself in front of a mirror and refer to your reflection by name, select the appeal that you are most pleased to hear in your address because you are talking to yourself. Tell yourself that you wonderful person, say everything that you would like to hear from others. speak only nice things do not criticize! You don't want to be criticized, do you?

Do this exercise every day for a month and you will see positive results. Most likely, they will appear even earlier, literally in a week or two.

Another version of the exercise with a mirror is suitable for those who have complexes about their figure or appearance. Choose the part of the body that you dislike the most and that, in your opinion, causes most of the problems in your life. Now imagine that this part of the body is perfect and start praising it, complimenting it. And do this every time you see your reflection in a mirror, a shop window, a supermarket door. At home, you can speak out loud, but in crowded places it is enough to admire yourself and this part of the body mentally. Smile at your reflection.

After doing these exercises your life will begin change for the better. And this is not surprising, because you start loving yourself, which means that others also change their attitude towards you, you start attract positive events, because your thoughts gradually are getting happier.

Love yourself and be loved!

66

Health 28.08.2012

Today in the blog I want to continue the conversation on the topics of Love. It's about self love. First of all, I want to thank everyone for responding to my articles on the topic of Kindness, Love and Happiness. I heard and understood that this is all close to each of us. You left such detailed comments. I'm sorry if I didn't reply to anyone personally. It just wasn't possible. Once again, thank you all and continue the conversation about how to love yourself.

We are all looking for Love in our lives. And most often we are looking for it and want to get it from another person. From my husband, from my family, from our children. Now, if we receive all this, then it seems to us that we are loved and happy. That is, we all become dependent on other people. But in fact, you must first understand yourself, learn to love yourself. And this is not selfishness, as many people think, but real happiness. If everyone finds such love in himself, loves and accepts himself, then all the people around us will be happy from this.

Even our children's divination on chamomile is always turned to opposite sex. It would never occur to anyone to wonder if I love myself? Truth? Understanding yourself, finding the answer to the question of how you can love yourself is probably not an easy task. Let's think about it. And then we'll think about what to do with it.

Self love starts from childhood.

It probably starts from our childhood. If we grew up in a family where there were constant screams and pulls, then it is difficult to learn at a more mature age to take and suddenly love yourself. That is why I say so often that our children and grandchildren need to talk about our love.

They learn everything from us. And we are often afraid to show our feelings, and then we are horrified by their actions, we talk about who they were born into. It means that they themselves did not give something to the children. Unkissed and unloved children. I think it's very scary. Although many, probably, will answer me by saying that there is nothing to pamper your children. Then egoists grow out of them. But I'm only talking about my thoughts. You have the right to choose the ones that are closer to you.

Our dislike for ourselves is recouped in relation to children. We take out all our suppressed feelings and emotions on them. “That’s how wonderful I am, I invested so much effort, well, I did everything for my child, and what do I see in response?” I think all of us have gone through this to one degree or another. Think about it. Love your children, find with them mutual language, do not shout and do not break. I am currently working on myself a lot. It is a pity that so much time has been lost, such knowledge and thoughts did not exist before. But, as they say, better late than never. So I am for the movement of thought in this direction.

Do not engage in sabotage or how to find the inner core in yourself.

Probably, each of us is familiar with the picture “I’m starting new life from Monday". Take, for example, morning runs. Got up on Monday morning. Everything is fine. Put on a sports suit and go. But literally the next day you start to scroll through the situation in the morning. So, it started to rain, then after a shower with unstyled hair I go to work, I critical days, etc. etc. And all excuses begin to not do it.

Set like goals before. We started to practice in order to look good, to please ourselves, and then we miss the moment. Our own will comes up with all sorts of excuses for us. You still need to have a stem. Set a goal, move on. This is how we strengthen our faith in ourselves. And if the goal is achieved, then we rejoice and look at ourselves in a new way.

Never say never.

Our categoricalness greatly hinders us in life. That's all we want, as soon as we want. Do you want that at this moment a husband came up to us and asked for forgiveness? So we can't wait more than 5 minutes. Have you seen the unhappy happy woman? Me not. It's hardly possible to talk about self-love here. Unspoken resentments and unforgiveness in life greatly hinder us from moving towards self-love.

Than your soul lives or kiss your soul.

Often, when talking with a person, you ask him about what he likes in this life. And then you just wonder, how long have you been in contact with this? Let's say you like music, but how long have you been listening to something live? Did you read something new? Etc. I think the idea is clear. It turns out that he didn’t go anywhere for a very long time, didn’t listen to anything, etc.

Why don't we take care of our souls? Somewhere I heard words about the soul, which so sunk into my soul. Our soul must be stroked. Kiss your soul on your own. Truth, good words? You can just stroke your soul like that, fill it with something new, and we will have a completely different internal state and feeling.

How to love yourself? Affirmations.

Now we can move on to practice. Try, or rather, do work with affirmations every day. About what it is and how to choose the right affirmations for yourself, to compose your own, I spoke in detail in my article. If you haven't read the article, I invite you to read it.

The following affirmations can be taken as a basis. You can change, add your own text, which is closer to you. Just do not forget that you need to work every day.

What can you do to love yourself?

  • Get rid of bad thoughts. As soon as you feel that you start saying something bad to yourself, switch. Never dwell on the negative.
  • Be kind to yourself. Do not judge everything strictly. Everyone has the right to make mistakes.
  • Be sure to take care of your body. This and healthy eating and everything that can please you: massages, pleasant baths, walks, etc.
  • Spend time with friends who are dear to you, with those who do not bring you negativity in life.
  • Know how to enjoy the minutes that you spent just for yourself. Make time. Ask your loved ones not to disturb you during this time. Let it be only 10 minutes. No one should enter "your territory".
  • Don't fool yourself. It is better to honestly admit to yourself why you do not like yourself so much than to pretend.

Always remember that if you become limp, it will not be easier for anyone. Taking care of yourself is a very important factor in harmony in the home.

Exercises to help you love yourself.

Here are some more exercises that can help us love ourselves. I found these exercises in a book on psychology. I think that everything is very worthy.

  1. Focus on all the good things that is found around. Divide a sheet of paper in half. Write everything on the left positive traits, on the right - all the negative things that you don't like about yourself. After that, go only to the right side. Cross out all the negative qualities, just cross out each one. Then tear off this half and destroy it. Can be torn into small pieces, can be burned, etc. Then go to the list that is left. Regularly say to myself that I ... And further down the list are all the positive qualities that you have prescribed. And add a new one every three days good quality. Just to add to the list.
  2. Praise yourself for every little thing , for the little progress you've made since the previous day. It is better to do this in the evening, but every day.
  3. My failures are my success . To make it clearer, let me give you an example. Suppose you are always very slow. It annoys everyone, and you too. Now change your thoughts. Yes, slow, but my slowness protects me from rash actions. I always weigh everything before making a decision. Is it really a different approach? I think it's clear what to do here.

Dear readers, I advise you not to be lazy, but read more: “5 great tips on how to love yourself” - in this article!

I would like to end my thoughts with a motto for all women, which I have already written about in past articles. May all men forgive me.

Dear women, love yourself, pamper yourself. Remember that we should be beautiful, loved and happy. And we don't owe anything to anyone else. . We will be happy, men will be happy with us, and our children, and parents, and friends. But this is a path that needs to be worked on. What we all want.

And my spiritual gift for today is the song by A. Pakhmutova to the verses by N. Dobronravov Melody performed Muslim Magomaeva . A unique and inaccessible singer, with such nobility, with such an inner culture. Muslim Magomayev sings all songs with his heart. I wish everyone to find the same melody in their lives.

see also

66 comments

    Reply

    Reply

    Reply

    Reply

    Reply

    Reply

    Zamira
    29 Mar 2013 at 15:20

    Reply

    stay
    17 Feb 2013 at 19:45

    Reply

    Reply

    Reply

    Hope
    21 Sep 2012 at 2:52

    Reply

    Tatiana
    19 Sep 2012 at 16:07

    Reply

    Liana
    18 Sep 2012 at 17:54

    Reply

    Vika
    07 Sep 2012 at 20:10

    Reply

    Anna
    06 Sep 2012 at 21:55

    Reply

    mamadoktor
    04 Sep 2012 at 15:59

    Reply

    Natalia
    04 Sep 2012 at 15:39

    Reply

    Alexandra
    01 Sep 2012 at 23:01

    Reply

    Asia
    01 Sep 2012 at 10:57

    Reply

    Reply

    Reply

    Reply

    Reply

    Reply

    Reply

    Reply

    Reply

    Reply

    Reply

    Reply

Man is born with primordial self-love. Pay attention to how babies cry and spare no effort to demand food, protection, attention from their parents. Man is born with love for himself. However, over the years, this feeling disappears. Over time, a person begins to understand that he needs to renew love for himself, which is why he seeks psychological advice.

Site specialists psychological help The site claims that it is important for a person to love himself first of all. The only problem is that every individual is taught to think that self-love is selfishness. In order not to be considered a selfish person and to receive approval from others, an individual must stop loving himself and start caring for others. Are you familiar with these ideas?

  1. Take care of others rather than yourself.
  2. Thinking only of yourself is bad.

Man by nature is self-loving. If a person ceases to love himself, it is akin to the fact that he ceases to wear warm clothes when it is winter outside, or to be treated when he is sick. Not to love yourself means to stop protecting, caring, supporting, understanding, appreciating, etc. Just as a person wants to receive love from the opposite sex, what he expects to see in the actions of his loving partner, in the same way he must take care of himself. In other words, what kind of love you expect from other people, the same love should be shown to yourself.

Why do you need to love yourself? Psychologists say that a person becomes useful to others only when he himself is healthy, beautiful, happy, rich and knowledgeable. Self-love is taking care of your own health, spiritual harmony, happiness and well-being. What's wrong with wishing you happiness for yourself?

Thus, self-love is an instinctive feeling that prompts a person to maintain his health and take care of his own well-being in the first place. But the problem is that the society in which the individual lives does not want to see such a person. Society needs self-sacrificing people, that is, those who do not love themselves, but try to earn the respect and love of others by helping them and providing various services.

Society calls self-love a selfish feeling, condemning everyone who shows it. That is why many give up on self-love, which is why they make a mistake. After all, no one can take care of a person better than himself.

How to love yourself?

Lack of self-love makes a person look for it in other people. This makes him dependent on them. He is completely immersed in the lives of those he meets. That is why you can hear such an expression as "completely absorbed in someone else's life." A person who does not love does not take care of his life, because he is not interested in it. He takes pleasure in the lives of other people, especially those who give him what he lacks. Parting is painful for such a person, because not just people leave, but the love that he felt thanks to them. It is during these periods that the love addiction when a person suffers and wants to return former partner without taking care of your life. And here it is very important to love yourself.

Lack of self-love makes a person strive to please everyone. In principle, everyone strives for this, but some suffer a little less from it, others a little more. How more people feels empty inside large quantity he needs people to fill it. That's why sometimes literally every fan counts, no matter how worthless or uninteresting he may be. His attention already speaks of interest, which allows you to think about what he loves. And it's so nice for someone who does not love himself.

Lack of self-love makes a person sacrifice, become a masochist or a slave. Think about why many people suffer bullying from their soulmates? Some are beaten, others are cheated on, others are deceived, others are humiliated, etc. Why do all these people tolerate neglect? It's very simple: they just don't like themselves. Their partners are the only people who show romantic interest in them. And for such unfortunate people - this is at least something than nothing at all. Often people without self-love very often allow others to mock them. They do this because they feel their own impunity. Why are they allowed to? Often the “victim” provokes his “tyrant” herself. After all, self-dislike does not just happen! Almost always a person becomes like this only because, when he was a child, his parents did not love him. So he got used to at least some attention from others, even if it is accompanied by beatings and insults.

Lack of self-love makes a person live someone else's life. Very often, such a person wears a “mask” of some kind of image that is more attractive to others than his real nature. Sometimes a person gets so used to playing that he forgets who he really is. But at the same time, he constantly feels emptiness inside himself, especially when people admire not him, but the way he portrays.

Lack of self-love can lead a person to lose the meaning of life. The older he gets, the less he understands what life is for. What do people live for? What is love? And other questions overcome such a person. This is not the cry of his soul, but, most likely, is already a quiet whisper of an already exhausted soul. She tries to find at least one source of her inspiration in the eternal, but does not find it. Why? Probably because a person has not learned to love himself. After all, it is love that lives the soul and heart of a person.

Self-love is very important, which a person understands when he is constantly faced with the ingratitude of others who did not appreciate his efforts and sacrifices, and also sees that all his desires are not realized. It is important for every reader to understand that other people do not have to make you happy. Moreover, they will not be able to make you happy, because they cannot read your thoughts and do not know your desires. It is important to love yourself, that is, to please and make yourself happy, in order to at least understand how others can do it if they want it.

Self-love makes a person take care of himself, please himself, take care of his physical and mental health. This is different from the public understanding when self-love means that a person does not hear anyone, uses everyone and makes himself above everyone. Because society misinterprets self-love, it advocates for each person to get rid of this feeling. After all, how good it is when people do not think about themselves, but only care about the well-being of others. It looks more like voluntary slavery, when a good feeling is presented as a sin.

Self-love is taking care of and maintaining your existence at the level that you personally desire. You take care of yourself without forcing anyone to do it. love yourself in modern society not nice. But how can you value someone if you don't value yourself? The ideology that the selfish person is an egoist to be shunned has led to perverted love. Not only does a person not know how to love himself, so he also becomes unable to love others.

Self love - how does it manifest itself? You, for example, accept your body as it is given by nature. Yes, you are not a top model with parameters 90-60-90. You are given a body that can be beautiful or ugly, regardless of the parameters. Much depends on the state of the body itself, on how you dress and present yourself. There are fat people who dress stylishly and leave a positive impression on others. After all fat person- not a verdict. You can be smart, witty, skilled. And this is more important than the parameters of your body.

Natural love manifests itself in accepting yourself as you are. This does not mean that you should not strive for some improvement in yourself. If you don't like something, you have the right to change it. But as long as you have not changed, you have the right to love yourself. You respect yourself in the present form and will respect later when you change. Why not afford it?

If you don’t love yourself, then you don’t know how to take the negative sides, weak spots, shortcomings in his personality. If you do not know how to do this in relation to yourself native person– to yourself, then you cannot do this in relation to other people. You are not able to love if you see and reject in a partner weak sides and flaws.

The absence of natural love leads to the desire to fill the void with the feelings of other people. You now do not just rejoice in someone else's love towards yourself, but demand it. If someone does not love you, then you are offended, because the void is not filled. You demand to be loved. Now this becomes the main condition in a relationship: if you are loved, then you are ready to make this person happy, and if you do not love, then you will cause suffering.

Self-love is not a selfish manifestation of a person. It's about about a healthy feeling when you learn to appreciate, respect, protect yourself, regardless of whether you are an ideal person in all plans or not.

How to love yourself? Here are some methods:

  1. Realize your value. To do this, you need to see your positive and side personality. What are you good at? What can you do? How have they already benefited society? Appreciate yourself for everything you have.
  2. Take care of your health. Don't just try to be beautiful, be healthy as well. Always make an effort to keep every part of your body healthy.
  3. Celebrate your strengths. Focus more on the good, give yourself compliments.
  4. Stop comparing yourself to other people. How can you be worse or better than others if you are a unique person? No need to compare yourself, appreciate yourself for who you are.
  5. Do not divide yourself into good and bad qualities. Although you are advised to focus on your merits, best position will not divide himself into good and bad at all. Appreciate what you have in yourself: love your strengths, respect and accept what you see as your weakness. You are a whole person who is good in all your qualities.
  6. Make failure an experience. Failures do not exist, you do not need to suffer because of them. Let any failed business be an experience for you, where you can review the wrong steps taken and change them, improving yourself.
  7. Take care of yourself the way you want other people to take care of you. Treat yourself the way you expect others to.
  8. Put your wants and needs, interests and opinions first. First of all, pursue your desires and interests. At the same time, just take into account the opinions and needs of others. You do not ignore your own or other people's desires, but live at your own discretion, taking into account the fact that other people's rights and freedoms should not be infringed, and some needs are taken into account.

It is important to allow yourself to be that person and live the way you want to. If it does not infringe on the rights and freedom of others, then you can afford it, despite the fact that someone may not like it.

How do you end up loving yourself?

Allow yourself to enjoy your life. After all, in the end, a person is born himself and dies alone. No one will live your life for you, no one will survive the grief that you experience, no one will be able to make you as happy as you want. You go through everything alone. So, why let others control your life? Love yourself and start living your life with pleasure.

A client Tatyana K came to me. With a frequently encountered request - How to learn to love yourself - psychology, without getting tired, talks about this, but there are very few real results.

And the lesson began quite unexpectedly: with a stream of tears and indignation, “everyone around just says that you need to learn to love people, learn to love life! But how to do it?!" According to the golden rule, any problem is sorted out, starting with oneself. Which is what we did.

The only way to love others is to love yourself. This state is very extensive, and there can be many reasons for dislike of oneself. In this case, Tatyana admitted that she hates people, feels constant hostility and irritation towards them, which she tries in every possible way to cover up with a feigned pleasant attitude. Human resources are not unlimited, both physical and energy. And it takes a lot of strength to resist yourself. Of course, such duality in behavior is pretty draining. And not only the psyche: Tatyana had health problems.

How to learn to love yourself?

Psychology offers several methods. We tried an effective process consisting of three questions:

  • what do you forbid yourself?
  • what do you forbid others?
  • what do others forbid you?

They are asked in turn 1-2-3-1-2-3-… to a state of relief, mood improvement or insight. It turned out that the client forbids herself all the joys of life, citing the fact that she is unworthy of them. It forbids others to be themselves, to live their own lives, to express their opinions and interests. It turned out that she considers other people second-rate, which brings her great trouble in the family, at work, in society. Take a piece of paper and write down all the answers that come to you. I assure you, you will be surprised. And ask yourself, why do I forbid myself to be happy? What do I benefit from this?

Life is long, and it is not alone ... for for a long time a charge accumulates between a person and people negative emotions and painful events. Will you immediately fall in love with your surroundings with this burden on your soul? It would not hurt to dissolve the unpleasant precipitate - with the help of good way. Ask yourself:

  • what have I done to people?
  • what have people done to me?

Alternately asking 1-2-1-2-… many answers will come, sometimes the most unexpected ones. Don't dismiss them! And don't doubt. Just accept everything that comes - including emotions (tears, irritation, apathy, anger), uncomfortable sensations in the body, and mental pictures that may seem incredible! Traveling through the labyrinths of the unconscious is very exciting.) Write down everything that comes to mind, indiscriminately and without hesitation. Until you feel better.

Of course, with these two methods of how to learn to love yourself, psychology does not completely cover the state of dislike for yourself, but they thoroughly cleanse the psychology of relationships. Try it. If you have any questions or difficulties, write or call on Skype.

Loving yourself is easy and difficult at the same time. Trainings and seminars will not teach you the ability to accept yourself as you are - a purely personal, intimate feeling that comes with time. It is noticeably inherent in children, and then, under the pressure of upbringing and society, it goes somewhere. But nothing disappears without a trace. If once it worked out, then the feeling of loving yourself can be restored. Dare! “We were prisoners of an aimless existence. The hour has come, and deep inside us, someone has awakened who knows that we are not just mortals. physical bodies who have decay and decay ahead, a complete and inevitable end. In each of us, an amazing ability is ripening for the most magical of the acts of creation - our own transformation. (c)

Have questions?

Report a typo

Text to be sent to our editors: