The location of interlocutors and partners at tables of various types. Position of communication

20.09.2019

Exist general rules the interaction of participants in business conversations and commercial negotiations, depending on what place they occupy at the table. Let us first consider the location of the participants in the office at a rectangular rectangular table with four positions of your interlocutor:

1) corner location,

2) position of business interaction,

3) competitive-defensive position and

4) independent position.

The angular location is typical for people engaged in friendly, casual conversation (Fig. 1).

Rice. 1. Corner position

This position promotes constant eye contact and provides room for gesticulation and the ability to observe the interlocutor's gestures. The corner of the table serves as a partial barrier in case of danger or threat from the interlocutor: you can leave behind it. With this arrangement, there is no territorial division of the table.

Rice. 2. Position of business interaction

The position of the interlocutors against each other usually creates an atmosphere of rivalry (Fig. 3).

Rice. 3. Competitive-defensive position

This arrangement of the interlocutors contributes to the fact that each side adheres to its point of view. The table between them becomes a kind of barrier. People who take this position at the table when they are in a competitive relationship or when one of them is reprimanding the other. If the meeting takes place in the office, then such an arrangement also indicates a relationship of official subordination.

Whatever business you are in, you should know that a competitive-defensive position makes it difficult to understand the point of view of the interlocutor, does not create a relaxed atmosphere. Greater mutual understanding will be achieved in the corner position and in the position of business cooperation. The conversation in this position should be short and specific.

There are times when it is very difficult or inappropriate to take a corner position when presenting your material. Suppose you need to present a sample, diagram, or book for consideration to a person sitting across from you at a rectangular table. First put what you want to present on the center line of the table. If he leans forward to get a better look at your material, but does not move it towards him, this means that your product is of little interest to him. If he moves him to his side, then this means that he has shown interest in him. This makes it possible to ask permission to go to his side and take a corner position or a position of business cooperation. However, if he pushes away what you brought him, then the deal will not take place and you need to end the conversation as soon as possible.

People who do not want to interact at the table with each other take an independent position (Fig. 4).

Most often, this position is occupied by library visitors, resting on a park bench or visitors to restaurants and cafes. This position indicates a lack of interest. It should be avoided when frank conversation or interested negotiations are required.

Rice. 4. Independent position

When seating participants in official receptions, one must take into account the psychological aspect. In offices, tables are often placed with the letter "T". The higher the position of the leader, the larger this letter. The visitor is offered to sit down at the table headed by the owner of this cabinet. An attitude of dominance immediately emerges. Sometimes dominance tend to emphasize. Sometimes the owner of the office speaks on an equal footing with the interlocutor. In this case, if the area of the office allows, you can put a separate table for negotiations. It can also be used for meetings with subordinates, if the leader wants to be "on an equal footing" with subordinates.

Significantly affects the creation of a psychological climate, not only the location of the interlocutors at the table, but also the shape of the tables themselves. Thus, a square table contributes to the creation of a relationship of rivalry between people who are equal in position. Square tables are good for holding a short business conversation or for emphasizing relationships of subordination. Here, a cooperative relationship is more likely to be established with the person who sits at the table next to you, and more attention will come from the person who sits to your right than from the person to the left. The one sitting opposite will have the greatest resistance.

At a rectangular table at a meeting of people of the same social status the dominant place is the place where a person sits facing the door.

It is no coincidence that the expression "round table talk" exists. Round table implies the equality of participants, the informal nature of the meeting, the free exchange of opinions and views. The conversation at the coffee table is even more informal, informal.

Thus, a square (or rectangular) table, which is usually a work table, is used for business conversations, commercial negotiations, briefings, and for chastising the guilty. The round table is more often used to create a relaxed atmosphere and is good in case you need to reach an agreement.

To conduct business negotiations, you need not only to choose the right shape of the table, but also to be able to seat your interlocutor at it in such a way as to create the greatest psychological comfort. This is especially important when you invite him to a gala dinner at your home or restaurant.

Try to make sure that your guest sits with his back to the wall. Psychologists have proven that a person's breathing rate, heart rate and brain pressure increase if he sits with his back to open space, especially if there is constant walking behind his back. In addition, tension increases when the person's back is turned towards front door or a window, especially if it is a ground floor window.

No conflict

Location of interlocutors and partners at tables of various types

There are general rules for the interaction of participants in business conversations and commercial negotiations, depending on what place they occupy at the table. Let us first consider the location of the participants in a study at a standard rectangular table with four positions of your interlocutor: 1) corner location, 2) business interaction position, 3) competitive-defensive position and 4) independent position.

This arrangement of the interlocutors contributes to the fact that each side will adhere to its point of view. The table between them becomes a kind of barrier. People take this position at the table when they are in a competitive relationship or when one of them is reprimanding the other. If the meeting takes place in the office, then such an arrangement also indicates a relationship of official subordination.
Whatever business you are in, you should know that a competitive-defensive position makes it difficult to understand the point of view of the interlocutor, does not create a relaxed atmosphere. Greater mutual understanding will be achieved in a corner position and in a position of business cooperation than in a competitive-defensive position. The conversation in this position should be short and specific.
There are times when it is very difficult or inappropriate to take a corner position when presenting your material. Suppose you need to present a sample, diagram, or book for consideration to a person sitting across from you at a rectangular table. First put what you want to present on the center line of the table. If he leans forward to get a better look at your material, but does not move it to his side, this means that your product is of little interest to him. If he moves your material to his side of the table, then this means that he has shown interest in it. This makes it possible to ask permission to go to his side and take either a corner position or a position of business cooperation. However, if he pushes away what you brought him, then the deal will not take place and you need to end the conversation as soon as possible.
People who do not want to interact at the table with each other take an independent position (Fig. 4).
Most often, this position is occupied by visitors to libraries, resting on a bench in a park, or visitors to restaurants and cafes. This position indicates a lack of interest. She should be avoided

question, while answering, look at it first, and then turn your head towards the silent interlocutor, then again towards the talkative one, and then again towards the silent interlocutor. This technique allows the reticent interlocutor to feel that he is also involved in the conversation, and you - to win the favor of this person. And this means that you can get support from him if necessary.
Thus, a square (or rectangular) standing, which is usually a desktop, is used for business conversations, commercial negotiations, briefings, and for chastising the guilty. A round table is most often used to create a relaxed, informal atmosphere and is great if you need to reach an agreement.
It is necessary not only to choose the right shape of the table, but also to be able to seat your interlocutor at it in such a way as to create the greatest psychological comfort. This is especially important when you invite him to a gala dinner at your home or restaurant.
Try to make sure that your guest sits with his back to the wall. Psychologists have proven that a person's breathing rate, heart rate and brain pressure increase if he sits with his back to open space, especially if there is constant walking behind him. In addition, tension increases when a person's back is turned towards the front door or window, especially if it is a ground floor window.

In the process of communication, people come into contact. The German psychologist K. Buhler defined contact as the "mutual orientation" of partners and the "process of coordinated changes" in their behavior. The unit of such a process can be considered the exchange of communicative "messages", or "communicants": a sign for a sign - back and forth.

In the psychological literature, this exchange (of words of silence, attitudes or turning away from each other) is called a "transaction".

So any contact, including the most positive dialogue, is formally referred to as a series of transactions.

Any act of behavior of an individual in science is conditionally divided into four phases: motivation for action; clarification by the individual of the situation of action; the action itself; curtailment of action.

If in the process of communication it is still too early to curtail the action, since the impulse to it has not disappeared, the individual returns to the second phase: he re-specifies the situation already changed by his previous action, then again proceeds to the third phase - to a new action, etc. Communication for the subject is nothing but a specific act of behavior. The phases of the act of behavior are as follows:-

focus on the partner (for some reason, he becomes the object of attention and the upcoming action); -

mental reflection of the partner, since he is the main thing in the situation of action; -

informing the partner about something and receiving response information from him; -

disconnection from a partner if the motives for contact with him have disappeared.

Since partners in communication act in contact not isolated from each other and jointly, the first phase of the communicative act can be called the phase of mutual orientation, the second - mutual reflection, the third - the phase of mutual information, the fourth - the phase of mutual disconnection. These phases can be traced in both fleeting and extended contacts.

The phase of mutual orientation - the emergence of an installation for external communication among partners

In the phase of mutual reflection - the acceptance by communication partners of each other's actual roles (character traits). Otherwise, it can be called "role exchange".

The phase of mutual information is a form of role playing. In this phase, mutual reflection continues. Communication partners assume each other's roles more and more clearly.

Mutual disconnection phase - communication partners deviate from each other.

A role is a functional unit of the communicative process in people. It can be external communication (communicative act) or internal (thinking, consciousness, self-consciousness, etc.).

Consider the positions of partners in contact.

Experience shows that each of the partners can occupy one of the four above-mentioned role positions in contact (point of view, opinion on some issue).

The position of non-participation. The participants in the communication were not noticed and did not hear each other. More precisely, they pretended that they did not notice and did not hear. After all, the signs that one of the interlocutors gives, taking such a position, are also communicants.

The other three positions are clearly comprehended by the prominent theater theorist P.M. Ershov. He identified them by reflecting on the phenomena of the interaction of actors on stage. These are “extension from above”, “extension from below”, “extension nearby”.

Otherwise, but it seems that the American psychologist and psychiatrist E. Berne approached the positions of contact. From his point of view, there are three "Selves" in every person: the Child (a dependent, subordinate, irresponsible being); Parent (independent and taking responsibility) and Adult (who knows how to reckon with the situation, understand others and distribute responsibility between himself and them).

Speaking in the position of the Child, a person looks subordinate and unsure of himself (“an extension from below” according to P. M. Ershov); in the position of the Parent - self-confidently aggressive ("from above"); in the position of the Adult - correct and restrained ("next to"). Then the manner of behavior can be described as a first approximation as follows: who, in what position is more likely to act - in a child, parent or adult? .

The role position occupied by one of the partners of the contact, in the highest degree informative to others. Nothing may have been said yet, but the process of “co-changes” in behavior has already begun. And they - if we ignore the generalized definition of the German psychologist K. Buhler - are not in all cases "coordinated" [8]. They are agreed upon only when one of the partners is ready to accept the position determined for him by the other partner.

Signs (communicants) expressing the partner's role position are explicit and hidden. If the role positions of the partners are agreed, their transaction gives both a sense of satisfaction, positive emotion“packed” in advance into a communicant to the delight of a partner, then such a communicant E. Berne calls “stroking” . With the consistency of positions, no matter what the interlocutors talk about, they exchange strokes. The deprivation of reciprocal stroking already hurts a person; if, contrary to his expectations, they are also attached to him "from above", this causes anger. A communicator with a “stuffing” that provokes a negative reaction from a partner is called an “injection”.

Send your good work in the knowledge base is simple. Use the form below

Students, graduate students, young scientists who use the knowledge base in their studies and work will be very grateful to you.

Hosted at http://www.allbest.ru/

Interactive side of communication

The interactive side of communication lies in the interaction of those who communicate, i.e. exchange in the process of communication, not only words, but also actions, deeds. This is no longer just communication, but a joint activity aimed at realizing common goals for the group, this is also the mutual influence of contacting people on each other.

There are two types of interaction: cooperation and competition. Recently, cooperation has been distinguished from "helping behavior", which characterizes the desire to help another person.

Cooperation -- the main type of interaction in which there is a union, the summation of the efforts of the participants. In general, it is characterized by mutual understanding of people. And for mutual understanding, it is necessary that the main characteristics of the worldview of the participants in the interaction have common ground. Sustainable cooperation is significantly hampered if there are individualists and collectivists in the group, or irreconcilable atheists and fanatical believers, and the like.

Mutual understanding depends on the knowledge of oneself and communication partners, adequate self-esteem and assessment of others, the ability to regulate one's internal mental state, which contributes to building relationships with other people. It should be remembered that there are no specific qualities that contribute to the emergence of sympathy for a person. The same feature is often evaluated both positively and negatively depending on the attitude towards the person and the situation of interaction. For example, courage can be regarded as impudence, thrift as greed, and modesty and shyness as secrecy and cunning.

It is also important to emphasize that for truly friendly relations it is necessary that the partners are approximately at the same level of development with relatively equal set advantages and disadvantages, this is a subconscious human need. But since it is not always possible to choose approximately equal to oneself in intelligence and appearance partner, there are three types of entry into contact interaction (P.M. Ershov, 1972): "attachment from above", "attachment on an equal footing" and "attachment from below".

An extension from above is a "technique" for dominating a partner. In its classic version, a certain distance is imposed in communication with him, a straightened posture, a hard, unblinking look or a complete absence of visual communication, slow speech with pauses are characteristic.

Attachment on an equal footing is characterized by muscular and mental looseness. At the same time, the volume and pace of their speech are balanced, there is a smile on their faces, attention turns into a soft exchange of glances, partners are located at a comfortable distance.

An extension from below is distinguished by a lowered posture, a bent torso, eye movements up and down or from left to right (running glance), a fast pace of speech, and giving initiative to a partner.

Relationships improve when people do good things for each other. Moreover, it has been noticed that, paradoxically, it is not the one who receives the good, but the one who does it, who treats the partner better. This conclusion follows not only from everyday observations, but is also confirmed by a laboratory experiment. Thus, in order to strengthen the cohesion of the group, to strengthen mutual sympathy, it is necessary to put its members in such conditions that they more often provide each other with various services, while showing attention and kindness.

A special role in interactive communication is played by individuals who can act as organizers various activities have attraction and charm. They are called the leaders of the group, and it depends on them in many respects. psychological climate in a collective. The question of leaders and leadership in social psychology is considered separately, but here we only note that a true leader is ready to act even to his own detriment, subordinating his desires to the interests of the team.

Competition - rivalry, competition between participants interactive group which, under certain conditions, can lead to an atmosphere of distrust, suspicion, alienation, and even social conflict.

Competitive relations also arise within any cooperation - it is naive to believe that in a team no one enters into an argument with anyone and no contradictions arise. A conflict-free life is an illusion. In any team, organization, something new, advanced defends the right to exist in the fight against the old, conservative. Therefore, various conflicts and contradictions in groups should not always be considered defects in communication. In many cases, they are a kind of insurance, a guarantee against stagnation. The desire to achieve external well-being, unwillingness and even fear to enter into conflict give rise to moral amorphousness and passivity of the individual.

Different authors describe the structure of social conflict as the most striking form of expression of competition in different ways, but its main elements are practically accepted by everyone. This is a conflict situation, the positions of the participants (opponents), the object of the conflict, the "incident" (trigger), the development and resolution of the conflict. All these elements behave differently depending on the type of conflict, but it is important to emphasize that conflict is not always only destructive.

A productive conflict contributes to the formation of a more comprehensive understanding of the problem, and the motivations of partners who defend the opposite point of view become more "legitimate" (legitimate) from the point of view of group norms. The very fact of recognizing the legitimacy of the opposite point of view contributes to the development of cooperation within the conflict and the possibility of its resolution and finding the optimal solution.

Destructive conflict leads to the destruction of all or individual elements of existing social systems, isolation or suppression of the subjects of the conflict, deformation of relations between members of the group. All this affects their work, their mood and well-being, making joint coordinated actions difficult or impossible. It is practically important to be able to prevent the transition of conflict situations into a destructive channel, to prevent such a development of events. Currently, the theory and practice of resolving conflict situations has emerged as a separate discipline called conflictology.

Conflicts often arise spontaneously, unexpectedly, situationally. More often they are provoked by inept criticism of each other. American psychologist Dale Carnegie believes that criticism is that "dangerous spark that can cause an explosion in the powder magazine of pride." In conditions conflict situation associated with criticism, the main thing is not to lose self-control. The ability to listen to the interlocutor helps to master the situation. Meanwhile, according to the study, only 10% of people are able to listen to another in the event of a disagreement.

There have been several attempts in social psychology to describe the structure of interactive communication. In particular, in the theory of T. Parson, to describe the structure of interaction, the concept of single actions is introduced, which add up to systems of actions. The actor is motivated by the realization of his own attitudes and needs, and in relation to the "other" he develops a system of orientation and expectations, which are determined both by the aspirations to achieve the goal, and taking into account the probable reactions of the other. However, the proposed classification possible types did not receive any interaction.

In another classification by the Polish researcher J. Szczepanski (1969), the structure of the interaction is associated with the division of the interaction not into elementary acts, but into the stages that it goes through. The central concept for him is the concept of "social connection". Social connection can be of the type of spatial contact, mental contact (mutual interest), social contact(joint activity), interactions (actions with the aim of causing an appropriate reaction from a partner) and social relations (mutually conjugated systems of actions).

The theory of transactions ("transactional analysis") is the concept of a structural description of interaction, which has gained great popularity and recognition in the practice of working with groups and in psychological counseling. It was proposed by Eric Berne (1902-1970), who developed ideas about communication based on the theory of psychoanalysis. From his point of view, when making contact, people are in one of the basic states: Child, Adult or Parent. The Child position can be briefly defined as the "want" position, the Parent's position the "must" position, and the Adult position the union of "want" and "should".

The success of communication largely depends on whether the ego-states of the communicants correspond to each other. The efficiency of interaction is higher if the transactions are "additional" in nature, i.e. match. Thus, such pairs of Ego-states as "Child-Child", "Adult-Adult", "Parent-Parent" are favorable for communication.

Interaction breaks down if transactions "intersect". A typical everyday example of the latter is the situation when, for example, a wife turns to her husband with information: "I cut my finger" (an appeal to an Adult from the position of an Adult), and in response hears: "Something always happens to you!" (answer from the position of the Parent) or "What should I do now?" (answer from the position of the Child). As you can see, the effectiveness of interaction in these cases is less than if the answer came from the position of the Adult: "Now we'll bandage it."

Thus, for the success of communication, all transactions must be brought into line with the basic ones, i.e. matching. This is the task of a psychologist in counseling a client. His other task is to free the client from the so-called "games" in communication, mastered in childhood and expressing hypocrisy and insincerity. In addition to games, E. Bern Special attention when describing the interaction, he devotes to various rituals and semi-rituals. Each situation dictates its own style of behavior and actions: in each of them, a person “feeds” himself differently, and if this self-feeding is inadequate, then difficulties arise in interaction.

The analysis of communication as an interaction presents significant difficulties. In general, the separation of the three sides of communication - perception, communication and interaction is possible only as a method of analysis: with all diligence, it is impossible to single out "pure" communication, without perception and interaction, or "pure" perception. But if perception and communication in communication are still to some extent, with great reservations, but amenable to separation from the "whole", then the isolation of the "separate", interaction is practically impossible.

In communication, there is a constant reaction to the actions of another. In one case, for example, it seems to us that the partner is pushing us towards something and we are resisting, in the other - that our actions are "at the same time"; in the third - that the partner affects our interests, and we defend them, etc. Behind the words are actions, and turning, we constantly answer for ourselves the question "What is he doing?", And our behavior is based on the received answer. What allows us to understand the meaning of the partner's actions?

One of the possible ways of understanding communication, which makes it possible to see the meaning and content of both one's actions and the actions of a partner, is the perception of the position of partners, as well as their positions relative to each other. In any "conversation, conversation, public communication, the relative status of the partners is of great importance: who is the leader in this communication situation and who is the follower.

The approach to the analysis of the situation of communication from the positions occupied by partners is developing in line with the transactional analysis, presented by the names of E. Berne, T. Harris, D. Jongeville.

The scheme developed by E. Bern is widely known and most widely used, in which the main concepts are the state of the Self and transactions, i.e. units of communication. E. Bern divided the repertoire of these states into the following categories:

1) states of the I, similar to the images of parents;

2) states of the I, aimed at an objective assessment of reality;

3) states of the Self, still active from the moment of their fixation in early childhood and representing archaic remnants.

Informally, the manifestations of these states are called Parent, Adult and Child. Ego states are normal psychological phenomena. Each type of state is vital for a person in its own way. A child is a source of joy, intuition, creativity, spontaneous impulses. Thanks to the Parent, many of our reactions have long become automatic, which helps save a lot of time and energy. An adult processes information and takes into account the possibilities effective interaction with the surrounding world. The Adult controls the actions of the Parent and the Child and is an intermediary between them.

The positions of partners in communication are determined by those states of the Self, which "in this moment communications interact. This seemingly purely psychological scheme has found application in the development of recommendations on psychology and technology. business communication. So, it is used by V. Singert and L. Lang in their work "Leader without conflicts".

Key Features of the Parent, Adult, Child Positions

Communication as an interaction can be considered from the positions of orientation to control and orientation to understanding.

Orientation to control involves the desire to control, manage the situation and the behavior of others, which is usually combined with a desire to dominate in interaction.

Understanding orientation involves striving to understand the situation and the behavior of others. It is associated with the desire to better interact and avoid conflicts, with ideas about the equality of partners in communication and the need to achieve mutual rather than one-sided satisfaction.

An analysis of the interaction in the selection of these two orientations reveals some interesting patterns of communication. So, "controllers" and "understanders" adhere to completely different communication strategies.

The "controller" strategy is the desire to force the partner to accept his plan of interaction, to impose his understanding of the situation, and quite often they really achieve control over the interaction.

The "employer" strategy is adaptation to the partner. It is significant that different orientations are associated with different distribution of positions in communication. Thus, "controllers" always strive for unequal interactions with subordinate and dominant positions of "vertical interaction". Orientation to understanding is more associated with equal horizontal interactions.

It should be noted that there are also reverse influences: for example, a person who "got" in communication in the most "upper" position will necessarily be a "controller" to a greater extent than if he was at the bottom: the position obliges. Therefore, it must regulate the interaction.

Since any communication is carried out about a particular subject, the nature of the interaction is determined by the openness or closeness of the subject position.

The openness of communication is the openness of the subject position in the sense of the ability to express one's point of view on the subject and the readiness to take into account the positions of others, and vice versa, the closeness of communication means the inability or unwillingness to disclose one's positions.

In addition to open and closed communication in its purest form, there are also mixed types;

one of the parties is trying to find out the position of the other, at the same time not revealing its own. In the extreme version, it looks like "I ask questions!";

communication, in which one of the interlocutors reveals to the partner all his "obligations", counting on help, not being interested in the intentions of the other.

Both of these types of interaction are asymmetric, since communication is carried out from the unequal positions of partners.

When choosing a position in communication, all circumstances should be taken into account: the degree of trust in the partner, possible consequences openness of communication. And at the same time, as socio-psychological studies show, the maximum efficiency of business communication is achieved with an open character.

Let's move on to a more specific description of interactions in business communication. The process of communication can always be considered as a local act: a conversation with a certain interlocutor, a discussion of specific issues by a group of people, etc.

In an expanded form in communication, the following stages of communication can be distinguished:

1) establishing contact;

2) orientation in the situation (people, circumstances, etc.);

3) discussion, Problems;

4) decision making;

5) exit from contact.

In business communication, this scheme can be either concise, brief, or complete, detailed.

It is the conscious isolation of these stages and their regulation that largely determines the effectiveness of business communication.

All communication begins with contact. Quite often, the failure of business communication is predetermined from the very beginning: a failed contact (or rather, its absence) leads to a further chain of incorrect actions.

The task of the contact phase is to encourage the interlocutor to communicate and create the maximum field of opportunities for further business discussion and decision-making.

According to psychologists, there are protective psychological mechanisms that prevent us from immediately accepting another person, letting him into the zone of our personal. The contact phase should blur the boundaries of this zone.

When establishing contact, you must first of all demonstrate goodwill and openness for communication. This is achieved by a soft smile (if it is appropriate), a slight tilt of the head towards the interlocutor, an expression in the eyes. There is no need to hurry with the greeting, so that it does not interfere with the start of contact. It is necessary to look around and create a friendly atmosphere with this. Next - a verbal appeal, a greeting. After that, you must definitely pause. It is necessary to enable a person to respond, to engage in communication. Quite often, this pause is not maintained, they do not allow the other to answer, and after the greeting they bring down all the prepared information. This error is especially noticeable in telephone conversations, when they turn to the interlocutor, but they are not interested in his reaction. Waiting for a pause is necessary not only to make sure that contact is established, but also to find out how the partner responded to your behavior, appeal.

You should not make contact when the interlocutor is busy with certain matters (talks, combs his hair, etc.), address the interlocutor with the words "I", "Me", it is better to start the conversation with the words "You", "You" (" Don't you think..." "You couldn't..." etc.), "fill" the contact from the first words with your emotional state, mood. It is necessary even at the contact phase to determine the emotional state of the partner and, depending on this state and your goals, either enter the same tone yourself, or gradually and unobtrusively help your partner get out of an undesirable state for you. *

The orientation stage helps to determine the strategy and tactics of business communication, develop interest in it and involve the partner in the circle of common interests. At this stage, you need to immediately find out how long the conversation will be (contracted, clear and specific or detailed, detailed), and, depending on this, build your tactics. The main tasks of the orientation stage:

arouse the interest of the interlocutor in the upcoming conversation and involve him in the discussion;

identify the self-esteem of the interlocutor and orient in the distribution of roles;

start solving the main problem of communication.

To involve the interlocutor in an active discussion of the issue, when he may not have a special desire, to create a relaxed atmosphere of communication is a kind of art. An appropriate joke is good here, but, unfortunately, it does not always come to mind. At this stage, it is essential to determine psychological condition interlocutor and correct it. If the interlocutor Bad mood, it is desirable to increase his emotional tone. The most effective technique is to assign the desired quality to the interlocutor: "Knowing your diligence ...", "You are so persistent ...". No less effective is praise to the interlocutor, a reminder of pleasant events, and communication of interesting information.

To create a relaxed atmosphere of communication, you can include a person in the performance of physical actions: "Help, please", "By the way", "It's good that you are around" and then warmly thank you for it. The “share the difficulty” technique works well to include a partner in an active joint discussion.

It is necessary to identify the partner's self-esteem in order to subsequently raise or lower it to the desired level. To do this, it is useful to try to reincarnate into him, become his "mirror", enter his image:

repeat, reproduce his facial expressions, plasticity, posture, tone (but not mimicking);

put him in the role of an expert: "Your experience is extremely interesting in solving this problem," etc.

The correct distribution of roles according to the principle of dominance - subordination is also necessary to ensure successful business communication. In social psychology, there are three types of distribution of roles: "an extension from above", "an extension from below" and "an extension on an equal footing". In practice, these are gradations of using the so-called dominant technique of self-presentation, and the degree of dominance-subordination is established with the help of non-verbal techniques: posture, gaze, rate of speech.

A straightened posture with the chin parallel to the ground, with a hard, unblinking gaze (or with no eye contact at all), slow speech with sustained pauses, imposing a certain distance on the interlocutor are the hallmarks of the classic technique of dominance - "adding on top". Opposite signs are a lowered posture, a constant movement of the eyes from the bottom up, a fast pace of speech, giving the initiative to a partner - "an extension from below." Partner interaction - synchronization of the tempo of speech, equalization of its volume, establishment of a symmetrical pattern of exchange of views - "an extension on an equal footing."

In the event that an unspoken agreement on the distribution of roles is not reached, conflict is inevitable. If, for example, the interlocutor has chosen the role of a "wise mentor", then one must either accept the role of a "respectful student" or tactfully achieve the desired distribution of roles - two experts.

From a socio-psychological point of view, the stage of discussing the problem and making a decision is characterized by the effect of contrast and the effect of assimilation.

The action of the contrast effect lies in the fact that, by pointing out the difference between our point of view on possible joint activity and the point of view of a partner, we psychologically move away from him; emphasizing the similarity of positions, we draw closer to partners, which manifests the effect of assimilation.

To achieve success in a business discussion, it is important to emphasize the unity of positions.

In case of disagreement, an obligatory rule for successful discussion is that contrasting phrases must be impersonal, otherwise they become irreversible and communication will fail. That is, it should be fixed that the interlocutor's position proceeds from objective reasons, is connected with the weather, politics, etc., but in no case with his personality, his personal qualities 2 .

At the phase of discussion and decision-making, the focus on the partner is very significant, including him in the discussion, therefore, the ability to listen and the ability to convince must be fully demonstrated.

Belief has a complex structure: it includes knowledge, emotions, volitional components. It is very difficult to convince another by the categoricalness of one's judgments, even if they are correct: psychological defense mechanisms work here. If you want to convince a person, you first need to understand him, in order to find out the reasons for disagreement, to involve him in a joint discussion so that the decision turns out to be common. If common decision If it doesn’t work out, then at least the points of view will be known, their deliberation, which allows further discussion. The most complete features of the methods of discussion and argumentation are considered in the previously mentioned book by P. Mitsich "How to conduct business conversations".

In psychology, the role first impression, which we produce for an interlocutor or a group of people. But the role of the last impression is no less great. It affects the image that will remain in the memory of the partner, and on future business relationship. Therefore, one of the main precepts for getting out of contact is friendliness.

Philosophy and key ideas of transactional analysis

Transactional Analysis is based on the concept of Eric Berne that a person is programmed with “early decisions” regarding life position and lives his life according to a “script” written during active participation his loved ones (primarily his parents), and makes decisions in the present time based on stereotypes that were once necessary for his survival, but are now mostly useless.

The main goal of the therapeutic process in the tradition of transactional analysis is the reconstruction of the personality on the basis of a revision of life positions. A great role is given to the ability of a person to realize unproductive stereotypes of his behavior, which prevent the adoption of decisions that are adequate to the present moment, as well as the ability to form a new system of values and decisions based on their own needs and capabilities.

At the heart of the practice of transactional analysis is the contract. It includes the goals set by the client for himself, and the ways in which these goals will be achieved; the contract also includes the counseling therapist's proposals and a list of requirements for the client to fulfill. The client decides which of his beliefs, emotions and behaviors he needs to change in order to achieve the intended goals. After reviewing early decisions, the client begins to think, behave and feel differently, seeking to acquire autonomy.

The structure of personality in the concept of transactional analysis is characterized by the presence of three ego-states: Parent, Child and Adult. Ego-states are not roles that a person performs, but some phenomenological realities, behavioral stereotypes that are provoked by the current situation.

Transaction in the framework of transactional analysis is the exchange of influences between the ego states of two people. Impacts can be thought of as units of recognition, similar to social reinforcement. They find expression in touch or in verbal manifestations.

Transactions are based on a life script. It is the general and personal plan that organizes a person's life. The scenario was developed as a survival strategy.

Structural and functional analysis of ego states

As already mentioned, the structure of personality in transactional analysis is characterized by the presence of three ego states: Parent, Child and Adult. Each ego state represents a particular pattern of thinking, feeling, and behaving. The selection of ego states is based on three axiomatic principles: 1) every adult was once a child. This child in each person is represented by the Child ego-state; 2) every person with a normally developed brain is potentially capable of an adequate assessment of reality. The ability to systematize information coming from outside and make reasonable decisions belongs to the Adult ego state; 3) each individual had or has parents or persons who have replaced them. The parental principle is embedded in every personality and takes the form of the Parent ego-state.

The adult ego-state is the ability of an individual to objectively evaluate reality according to information received as a result of his own experience, and on the basis of this, make independent decisions that are adequate to the situation. This is the concept of life through thinking. E. Bern's Adult plays the role of an arbitrator between the Parent and the Child. Analyzing the information, the Adult decides which behavior is most appropriate for the given circumstances, which stereotypes it is desirable to refuse, and which it is desirable to include.

The ego-state of a child is the emotional beginning of a person, which manifests itself in two forms. The Free Child includes the impulses inherent in the child: gullibility, tenderness, spontaneity, curiosity, creativity and ingenuity. It gives a person charm and warmth, but at the same time it is a source of whims, resentment, frivolity, stubbornness and self-centeredness. The Adapted Child is that part of the personality that wants to be accepted by the parents and no longer allows itself to behave that does not meet their expectations and requirements. The Adapted Child is characterized by conformity, lack of confidence in communication, modesty. A variation of the Adapted Child is the Rebellious (against the Parent) Child, who irrationally rejects authority and norms, violating discipline.

A parent is information received in childhood from parents and other authoritative persons, these are instructions, teachings, rules of conduct, social norms. On the one hand, the Parent is a set of useful and time-tested rules, and on the other, prejudices and prejudices. This ego-state is of two types: Controlling Parent (represents prohibitions, sanctions) and Guardian Parent (represents advice, support, guardianship).

In order to represent a personality profile, ego states in the tradition of transactional analysis can be conditionally displayed in a figure called an egogram. The concept itself was introduced by Jack Dusay.

It is possible to diagnose ego-states in a person by studying the verbal and non-verbal components of behavior. For example, while in the Parent state, phrases like “I can’t”, “I have to”, critical remarks like “so, remember”, “stop it”, “no way in the world”, “I would be in your place”, "My dear". The physical sign of the Parent is a furrowed forehead, a shake of the head, a “menacing look”, sighs, arms crossed over the chest, stroking the other on the head, and so on. A child can be diagnosed on the basis of expressions that reflect feelings, desires and fears: “I want”, “it makes me angry”, “I hate”, “what do I care”. Non-verbal manifestations include trembling lips, downcast eyes, shrugging shoulders, expressing delight.

Transaction analysis. Transaction types

Briefly, transactions are verbal and non-verbal interactions between people. A transaction is an exchange of influences between the ego states of two people. Impacts can be conditional or unconditional, positive or negative. There are transactions parallel (additional), cross and hidden.

In a parallel transaction, the expectations of people who are in contact with each other correspond to mutual expectations and correspond to healthy human relationships.

Such interactions do not have the ability to produce conflicts and can continue indefinitely. The stimulus and response in this interaction are displayed as parallel lines.

Crossed (intersecting) transactions already have the ability to produce conflicts. In these cases, an unexpected response is given to the stimulus, an inappropriate ego state is activated. For example, when a husband’s question “Where are my cufflinks?” the wife gives the answer "Where you put it, take it there." Thus, the reaction of the Parent is given to the stimulus coming from the Adult. Such cross-transactions begin with recriminations, barbs, and may end with slamming doors.

Covert transactions are distinguished by the fact that they involve more than two ego states, since the message in them is disguised as a socially acceptable stimulus, but the response is expected from the effect of the hidden message. That is what is the essence psychological games. Thus, a covert transaction contains implicit information through which others can be influenced without them realizing it.

The transaction can be carried out at two levels - social and psychological. This is typical for hidden transactions, where at the psychological level they contain hidden motives.

E. Bern gives examples of an angular transaction in which three ego states participate and writes that sellers are especially strong in it. For example, the Seller offers the buyer an expensive type of product with the words: “This model is better, but you can’t afford it,” to which the buyer gives the answer: “I’ll take it.” The adult salesperson is stating the facts (that the model is better and that the buyer can't afford it), to which the buyer would have to respond at the adult level that the salesperson is absolutely right. But since the psychological vector was skillfully directed by the Adults of the seller to the Child of the buyer, it is the Child of the buyer who answers, wanting to demonstrate that he is not worse than the others.

The need for stimulation and its types

By "stroking" in transactional analysis is meant a sign of approval. There are three types of strokes: physical (such as touch), verbal (words), and non-verbal (winks, nods, gestures, etc.). Strokes are given for "existence" (that is, they are unconditional) and for "deeds" (conditional strokes). They can be positive - for example, a friendly physical touch, nice words and benevolent gestures; and negative - slaps, frowns, scolding.

Unconditional strokes are obtained, as in infancy, simply for the fact "that you are." Positive unconditional strokes are verbal (“I love you”), non-verbal (laughter, smiles, gestures) and physical (touches, caresses, cradles). Conditional strokes are given more for deeds than for the fact of existence: when a child first begins to walk, parents speak to him in an excited voice, smile, kiss; when the child spills milk or becomes naughty beyond measure, he may receive a shout, a slap, or an angry look.

You can accept strokes or not. People can have a lot of reasonable reasons for rejecting strokes: “She only says that to boost my self-confidence”, “to try to change me”, “to look cute”. A person may assume that the one who “strokes” him is either a liar or a manipulator, and by this he shames the “stroking” rather than accepts strokes. In transactional analysis, it is important to teach clients to accept strokes and at the same time be able to refuse any undesirable conditions that are set during the stroke. It is also important to focus on strengthening awareness internal forces the client and on creating conditions in which the client is aware of new or hitherto denied forces in himself. Whatever the therapeutic contract, it is easier to fulfill if the client accepts and loves himself, rather than rejects him.

Structuring time

According to E. Bern, people structure time in six ways: leaving, (avoidance), rituals, entertainment (pastime), activities, games, intimacy (love sexual interactions).

Transactions such as rituals, entertainment or activities are aimed at achieving certain goals - structuring time and receiving influences from others. Therefore, they can be described as "honest", that is, not involving the manipulation of others. Games, on the other hand, are a series of hidden transactions leading to a certain result in which one of the players has an interest.

A ritual is a stereotyped series of simple additional transactions that are set by external social factors. An informal ritual (such as saying goodbye) is fundamentally the same, but may differ in detail. Formal ritual (such as a church liturgy) is characterized by very little freedom. rituals offer a safe, reassuring, and often enjoyable way of structuring time.

It is possible to define a pastime as a series of simple, semi-ritual additional transactions, the purpose of which is to structure a certain interval of time. The beginning and end of such an interval can be called procedures. At the same time, transactions are usually adapted to the needs of all participants in such a way that everyone can get the maximum gain during a given interval - the better the participant is adapted, the greater his gain. Pastimes are usually mutually exclusive, that is, they do not mix. Pastimes form the basis for acquaintance and can lead to friendship, help to confirm the roles chosen by a person and strengthen his position in life.

A game is a series of hidden additional transactions following each other with a clearly defined and predictable outcome. It is a repetitive set of sometimes monotonous transactions that look quite plausible on the surface, but have an hidden motivation. Games differ from pastimes or rituals in two main characteristics: 1) ulterior motives and 2) the presence of a prize. The difference between games is that they can contain an element of conflict, they can be dishonest and have a dramatic outcome.

Life scenario analysis. Nature and types of life scenarios

A script is a life plan, reminiscent of a performance in which a person is forced to play a role. The script is directly dependent on the positions adopted in childhood and is recorded in the Child ego-state through transactions that take place between parents and the child. Part of the script are the games “played by people” (E. Byrne).

According to Berne, almost all human activity programmed by a life script that begins in early childhood. Initially, the script is written non-verbally, then the children receive verbal script messages from their parents, which may relate to a general life plan (“you will become famous”, “you will never achieve anything, because you ...”), or may relate to various private aspects a person's life: this is how a child is prescribed a professional scenario, a scenario regarding his gender, education, marriage, marriage, etc. At the same time, parent script messages can be constructive, destructive and unproductive.

The scenario is manifested in the movements, gestures, postures, manners of a person. E. Bern believed that fantasies and fairy tales remembered from childhood also play an important role in creating life scenarios.

Winner, loser and non-winner scenarios are distinguished. A winner can be called a person who decided to achieve a certain goal in life and achieved his goal in the end. If a person has achieved his goal, then he is the Winner. If he gets stuck in debt, gets physically injured or fails the exam, then he is defeated. A “non-winner” is a person who can be an excellent citizen, employee, diligent and grateful to fate, a loyal person. This type of people tries not to create problems for people - unlike the winners, as they fight, involving others in the struggle, and (to an even greater extent) unlike the losers (losers), who, getting into trouble, try to drag others into it standing.

Having realized their positions and games, a person can understand his life scenario. Its analysis and revision is an indispensable procedure in transactional analysis.

Life positions and their analysis

The concept of psychological position is one of the main ones in transactional analysis. First of all, the concept became popular thanks to the work of T. Harris.

In his book I'm OK - You're OK, he identifies four such positions; another scholar (F. English) highlights an additional, fifth position.

First position: "I'm ok - you're ok". This is a position of contentment and acceptance of others, but if the child gets stuck in it, believing that he will remain the most important person all his life, then eventually disappointments and negative experiences will arise. Second position: "I'm not okay - you're not okay." If a child was surrounded by attention and care at the beginning of life, and then, due to circumstances, the attitude towards him radically changes, then he begins to feel disadvantaged, life loses its positive aspects, up to the acquisition of the belief that life is worthless. Third position: "I'm not okay - you're okay." Depression and feelings of inferiority play a major role in this scenario. Usually this comes from the child's feelings about the fact that he is dependent on adults, less valuable than those around him. Fourth position: "I'm ok - you're not ok." If the child is not “stroked”, treated badly, then he may conclude that “others are bad”.

Finally, the fifth position “I'm okay - you're okay” is similar to the first, but this is the position of realism, it is chosen consciously, a person comes to it through life experience, through a reassessment of values. There are no losers in this position, but everyone comes to their own victory: “Life is worth living”.

Life positions arise not only in relation to oneself and others, but also in relation to the other sex. Having taken a position in life, a person tries to strengthen it in order to stabilize self-esteem and maintain his perception of the world around him.

The psychological position of a person becomes vital, and based on it, people play games and carry out a life scenario. For example, a woman who was bullied by her alcoholic father as a child may take two positions: “I am worthless” (I am not OK) and “Men are animals who will offend me.” It is easy to imagine that in agreement with this life position she will choose people who play those roles that correspond to her life scenario: she can marry an alcoholic or a person with despotic inclinations.

Script messages and parent programming

Eric Berne defines precepts as the most important part of the script apparatus and classifies them into three degrees. Parental instructions of the first degree are soft in form and socially acceptable - they are direct instructions, supported by approval or disapproval. Orders of the second degree are deceitful and harsh, their implementation is carried out in a roundabout way by seductive smiles or threatening grimaces. The third degree (very rough and harsh prescriptions) is unjustified prohibitions inspired by a sense of fear - a sure way to educate a loser. Among other types of script messages, Bern distinguishes “push” (provocation, seduction, hidden encouragement to be a failure), “electrode”, “commandments” (coming from the Guardian Parent).

Robert and Mary M. Goulding have identified what they call "parental directives." They define directives as messages from the parent ego-state of the Child given (to the children) due to the circumstances of their own painful problems. The main list of parent directives includes: Don't. Do not be. Don't get close. Don't be significant. Don't be a child. Don't grow up. Don't be successful. Don't be yourself. Don't be normal. Don't be healthy. Don't belong.

A. I. Lunkov and V. K. Loseva give their own classification of directives, expanded to twelve and already tied to Everyday life an adult, not a child: Don't live. Don't be a child. Don't grow. Do not think. Don't feel. Don't be successful. Don't be a leader. Don't belong. Don't be close. Don't. Don't be yourself. Don't feel good.

The scenario matrix is a diagram depicting instructions addressed by parents and grandparents to the next generation, which largely determines the life plan of the individual and the life outcome. The decisive scenario influences come from the Child ego state of the parent of the opposite sex; ego-state An adult parent of the same sex gives the person a model that determines the interests and features of the implementation of the life plan. At the same time, the ego-states of the Parent of both parents endow a person with “recipes” for behavior, which constitute the so-called anti-script, which fills the voids in the forward movement of the script and, under certain circumstances, is able to suppress the script.

Transactional analysis also highlights the concept of an episcript (episcript) that occurs when parents feel obliged to give their child instructions and advice in an amount much greater than that required by parental duty and normal “scenario programming”. The episcript highlights the desire to prolong one's life in descendants, the demands of one's own parental scenarios, or the desire to get rid of one's own heavy scenario characteristics.

It is impossible to avoid parental directives, but the main thing for the parent is to free himself from his own directives in the autodidactic process and show the child that he has the opportunity to outlive the received directives. Directives are a challenge to the human capacity for development, they can be accepted or not accepted, and the awareness of unconscious influences in oneself provides a valuable experience that cannot be obtained in any other way.

Game analysis. Racket and racket feelings

When people participate in games, one of them is usually injured in some way, and the unpleasant feelings that remain after the game are called "racket." The most commonly experienced racketeering feelings are anger and depression. Racket feelings force Free Child ego-state feelings or those feelings that were deemed inappropriate by the parents.

Transactional therapists define racket in different ways: as a process that leads a person to a feeling of unhappiness, as “sexualization, transactional search and exploitation of unpleasant feelings” (Bern) or as “an attempt to change other people” (R. and M. Goulding).

With the help of racket feelings, people often try to get the attention of family members or loved ones and give up their real feelings, which long time neglected or which did not elicit any response. So, racketeering is the use of racketeering feelings in order to influence others.

Related to racketeering is the notion of accumulating "surcharge stamps" or "psychological coupons" (Bern) - a kind of currency for this racket. “Extra stamps” are most often obtained by people as an addition to everyday transactions. Some people like to accumulate negative feelings, others prefer to pour them out on others. Berne writes that people “are realizing that psychological coupons (...) are not free, that you have to pay for their collections”, for example, psychosomatic diseases.

It is quite difficult for a person to stop collecting his “surcharge stamps” - it is necessary not only to do this, but also to give up the pleasure of “using” the previously accumulated “currency” of the transaction racket. One of the goals of transactional analysis is to help the client become aware of their racket feelings and replace them with authentic - that is, genuine - feelings (for example, turn chronic anxiety into enthusiasm, or regard chronic anger as a proposal for action, and then get rid of it) .

Games and their psychological analysis

Games in transactional analysis are commonly referred to as a series of additional hidden transactions following each other with a clearly defined and predictable result in which one or another player is interested. It is a set of transactions with an ulterior motive, a series of moves that contain a trap or catch. The win is a certain emotional state, to which the player has an unconscious desire - and this is not always a positive feeling, pleasure or joy, but more often it is a negative feeling or an unpleasant sensation that is “favorite” for the player.

To identify scenarios and games, S. Karpman proposed the didactic technique “Triangle of Fate” (Drama Triangle). Its three peaks correspond to the positions of the Victim, the Rescuer and the Persecutor. Victims suffer, show helplessness and cannot feel that everything is all right with them; Rescuers feel ok only helping Victims; finally, the Persecutors criticize others, manipulate them, putting them in the position of the Victim. As a result, there is the emergence of "racket" feelings, the constant repetition of losing roles. In order to stop such a development of events, it is necessary to reflect and make conscious efforts to break the vicious circle.

In the work of E. Berne "Games that people play" dozens of games are described, differing in the number of players, in the material used, psychodynamic characteristics, instinctive drives, flexibility, intensity, and so on. For example, “The goofy guest”, “If it weren’t for you”, “Well, got caught, scoundrel”, “Debtor”.

There are clinical variants of the games: hysterical (“Dynamo”), with an obsessive syndrome (“The goofy guest”), paranoid (“Well, why does this happen to me?”), depressive (“I'm back to the old again”).

At the reception with a psychologist, games can also occur. For example: “I'm just trying to help you”, “Psychiatry”, “Indigent”, “Peasant Woman”, “Fool” and so on.

E. Bern finds six advantages (rewards) in games: internal psychological and external psychological, internal social and external social, biological, existential.

Features of the work of therapeutic groups in the tradition of transactional analysis

Transactional analysis is an interactional psychotherapy that is usually done in a group setting. Clients get acquainted with the fundamental concepts, with the mechanisms of behavior and their disorders. The purpose of the work is to make the members of the therapeutic group aware of the ego-state within which they usually function (structural analysis). Structural analysis enables group members to imagine and separate their ego states from each other, and then achieve the dominance of the Adult over the Child. In developing this awareness, clients explore early programming, parental directives, and their early decisions about themselves (“I'm OK” or “I'm not OK,” etc.) and their position in life.

Contract

At the beginning of the practice of transactional analysis lies the concept of a contract. Series of individual contracts are the basis of group lessons; they determine the goals defined by the members of the therapeutic group and the conditions of the sessions. The contract includes a description of behavior, such as that the client will fight less with loved ones or use their time more productively, rather than vague feelings or abstract concepts like “happiness” or “satisfaction with life.” The wording of the contract should be appropriately specific and answer the question: “How do you know that you got what you came to the group for?”

It is important that the contract involves the Adult ego-state of a person in a collective cognitive process, implies mutual consent and democracy in relations. In the course of classes in groups, the contract may be supplemented and undergo changes.

The role of the leader in the group

The leader of the therapy group must attend to his own psychological needs. This is important point in group work. If the leader feels that everything is fine with him, then he creates a model of the same self-perception for the group. A good leader, when working with a group, uses all his ego states properly: Parent protects and cares, Adult analyzes and provides information, Child creates an atmosphere of creativity and enthusiasm, shows how to enjoy life. In this way, a skilled therapist does not take on the role of a Savior, but helps group members begin to use their own reserves and stop feeling like Victims.

The location of interlocutors and partners at tables of various types. Position of communication

Send your good work in the knowledge base is simple. Use the form below

Similar Documents

Report a typo

Text to be sent to our editors:

Your comment (optional):