What is common in official and personal relationships. Relationship types

Subordination is an integral part of any healthy relationship between people. However, within different groups, communication can be built according to different schemes. Two of the most striking of them determine the nature of personal and business relationships. But in order to understand the difference between business and personal relationships, you first need to understand a little about the nature of interpersonal relationships as such.

Interpersonal relationships

The definition of "interpersonal" reflects the idea of ​​the mutual connection of several individuals in the context of relationships. That is, relations between people cannot have one or another character if one person completely ignores the other.

Most often, interpersonal relationships arise on the basis of common views, values ​​and/or activities. In their structure, they represent a system of mutual orientations of several people relative to each other.

Relationships are not a passive process - they necessarily require mutual efforts on the part of partners, and this shows the similarity of personal and business relationships. Such communication is aimed at optimizing and harmonizing specific feelings, intentions and forms of their expression in everyday behavior. It is these efforts that determine the nature of the matrix on which relationships are built in practice.

Business and personal relationships

What is the difference between business and personal relationships? Business refers to a relationship based on common corporate interests and ethical standards. Such relationships can take place between employees as one link, and in the context of the hierarchical ladder of the corporation. The purpose of business relationships is the result of common work efforts without reference to the value of the communication process itself.

Personal relationships are built differently. As a rule, they arise between close people, and their motivation is inside, and not outside the process of communication itself. In other words, in the process of personal relationships, people are interested in each other more than as a result of their relationship.

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The Role of Discipline in Personal and Business Relationships

To better understand the difference between business and personal relationships, you need to pay attention to such a factor as discipline. The presence of strict disciplinary norms in behavior between two people or within a group of people determines the business nature of their communication. But if, against the background of exclusively business ties, informal relationships arise in parallel, and corporate discipline fades into the background, then relations gradually acquire not a partnership, but a personal character.

However, defining discipline as an answer to the question of how business and personal relationships differ, one cannot but say that to a large extent it is also inherent in personal relationships that are also not without subordination, for example, between parents and children. The difference is that the discipline of personal relationships is established naturally and does not violate the internal comfort of individuals, while business discipline takes the form of a documented official format.

Relationships are the feelings that people have for each other. Basically, feelings during communication are positive (likes) or negative (dislikes).
Sympathy (Greek sympatheia- “ internal arrangement, attraction") - a feeling of a person's stable emotional predisposition to other people.
Antipathy (Greek antipatheia, from anti against, and pathos passion) is a feeling of dislike, dislike or disgust, an emotional attitude of rejection of someone or something. The opposite of affection. Antipathy, like sympathy, is largely an unconscious feeling and is not determined by a volitional decision, but it can also arise consciously, as a result of a moral assessment in relation to those people, creatures or phenomena that are condemned by the adopted in this society system of views.
Antipathy has as its source an idea of ​​the harmfulness, danger, ugliness, inferiority of the object of antipathy, acquired by personal or hereditary experience or instilled in education. This feeling may also be based on a special excitability nervous system individual (see Idiosyncrasy).
The hereditary or acquired antipathy of humans and animals to certain objects often has an instinctive or reflex nature and, according to some authors, is associated with the task of self-preservation of the individual, species, group or ethnic group.
In sociology and psychology, antipathy, like sympathy, serves as one of the motivational regulators of interpersonal and intergroup relationships. At the same time, feelings of like and dislike can be more or less independent or even complementary, that is, they can naturally be combined in emotionally to another person (severity of one pole with simultaneous expression of the opposite) [Wikipedia].
The emergence of likes or dislikes depends on:
* physical attractiveness;
* similarities and similarities;
* character, skills, success in various types activities;
* joint work, action for the benefit of another;
* Respect for others.
Appearance, physical attractiveness
If the external features of a person are pleasant to us, then we involuntarily sympathize with him. He is perceived by us for external, physically beautiful qualities, and slovenly, untidy people often cause antipathy.
similarity, resemblance
Similarity and similarity can be external and internal.
The similarity is external - the same age, gender, cultural level, material security.
Internal similarity - a commonality of interests, views, values, norms of behavior, character traits.
The "otherness" of a person to others prevents us from understanding him and feeling sympathy for him. For the "dissimilarity" of a person, he is often hung with offensive nicknames and labels.
Character traits, skills
When entering into relationships with others, the consolidation of sympathies is influenced by various qualities of character, success in various activities, skills, hobbies. They make a person attractive to others. If a person is disposed towards others, sympathetic, attentive, kind and knows how to sometimes give in to others, then he causes them the greatest sympathy.
Antipathy and alertness, on the contrary, are caused by constrained, timid, shy, insecure people.
Psychologists asked schoolchildren to describe which guys they dislike the most. And here's what happened.
The "winner" is the one who counts without any good reason. that he should always be first in everything.
"The most beautiful" ("first beauty") - the one who is most interested in the question: "Am I the sweetest in the world, all blush and whiter?"
"Rich" - the one who believes: "I can buy and sell everything. I am the best because I have more money."
"Hooligan" - "I like to feel the defenselessness of others."
"Overconfident" - "I'm always right!"
"Suck" - "I will only do what others like!"
"Weakling, Quiet" - "Don't touch me, I'm small and weak!"
"Crybaby, sneak" - "I will complain to adults"
All the guys described are focused on themselves, they think only about themselves, they don’t take into account others, they can use other people to achieve their goals. They are constantly
demonstrate that they are better than others - smarter \. more beautiful; others - that they are worse (weaker, more defenseless) than others. Both others do not like it, cause antipathy.
Joint work, actions for the benefit of another
A common cause brings people together best. Common, joint and especially business relations create favorable conditions for the formation of people's ability to coordinate their actions, help each other, especially if they are useful to everyone personally.
In the cartoon "Winter in Prostokvashino", the cat Matroskin explains this: "Because joint work - for my benefit - unites."
Lazy and incompetent cause us antipathy.
Respectful attitude towards others
Respect - the position of one person in relation to another, recognition of the dignity of the individual. Respect prescribes not to harm another person, either physical or moral.
Respect is one of the most important requirements of morality. AT moral conscience Society respect implies justice, equality of rights, attention to the interests of another person, his beliefs. Respect implies freedom, trust. Suppressing these demands is a breach of respect. However, the meaning of these qualities that make up respect is determined by the nature of society and the accepted paradigms. The understanding of human rights, freedom, equality in different centuries was completely different. According to the ethics dictionary edited by I. Kohn, the greatest opportunities for deep respect, the elimination of exploitation, as well as the conditions for the highest measure of real freedom of the individual, are provided by the communist formation.
According to Kant, respect sets the standard human relations even more than sympathy. Only on the basis of respect can there be mutual understanding.
Also, respect is a moral duty and the only correct position of a person in the face of everything valuable, in the face of any person (Wikipedia).
Goodwill - comprehends the activity associated with disinterested concern for the well-being of others; correlates with the concept of selflessness - that is, with the sacrifice of one's own benefits in favor of the good ...
If people treat us kindly, respectfully. If all this is manifested in a person in facial expressions, behavior, actions - this makes us sympathetic.
Antipathy is caused in us by indifferent, unfriendly people.
With benevolence, a person:
* looks directly at the person, the look expresses friendliness;
*smiles warmly;
* sits close;
* expresses interest in what the person likes and is passionate about;
* friendly brawls are possible;
* listens attentively;
* expresses approving, understanding judgments;
* the person is benevolent open;
* gestures are calm, friendly, expressing the attitude towards the interlocutor (1, p. 110-111).
Literature:
1. Psychology. 4th grade. A.D. Andreva, I.V. Dubrovina, D.V. Lubovskaya, A.M. Parishioners. Voronezh: Modek, 2001.

Friendship
Material Each of us needs friends, everyone appreciates friendly relations, but in science the phenomenon of "friendship" and "friendly relations" is still poorly understood. Perhaps it was best analyzed by Igor Semenovich Kon, who even wrote a book called Friendship. She came out in the 70s.
Generally speaking, friendship is a "non-sexual marriage". In the sense that people do not marry each other, but all other relationships, minus sexual ones, remain with them. This is help, support, devotion, interest in each other, spending time together. At the same time, this happens more in marriage, and in friendship it is often more interesting and better. Friendship is the satisfaction of our needs for participation, support, sharing our impressions.
Friendly relations can be between people close and not, friends and buddies. And maybe between them - and not to be.

Different people put different meanings into the word Friends and Friend. Friends should not be confused with only friends. Friends are people you can have fun with.
time, but no more. They differ from friends in that friends can be asked for help in Hard time but friends don't. Necessary people useful contacts are useful, but this is not at all the same as friends. A separate conversation about what a true friend is, as opposed to just a friend. One thing is certain: Good friends go to someone who knows how to be a good friend.
Why do people make friends and Why do people make friends?
For most people, their friendship answers the "why" question: they are friends because... See Friendship Basics. Some people make friends so that their friendship has meaning and purpose.
Friendships are right, promising and superfluous.
The absence of a friend or friendship with anyone at all usually speaks of personal trouble and creates the prerequisites for personal trouble.
Circle of friends

The circle of friends is a matter of both quantity and quality of friends. The choice of friends is the most important task in life, on which a lot depends on the fate of everyone. "Tell me who your friends are and I'll tell you who you are."
Friendship between a man and a woman

Friendship between a man and a woman is possible, but very often a man next to a woman only pretends to be her friend, having completely different views on her; If you love each other, then learn to be friends. It is difficult to say that people love each other if the relationship between them cannot be called friendly. Good friendship is the foundation of true love.
If you are friends, then think many times before bringing love and sex into your relationship. The traditional notion of friendship excludes the expression of sexual attraction, and in our culture the introduction of love and sexual relations in friendly is a dangerous moment.
Female friendship
The fact that there can be no friendship between women is a myth. Another thing is that if a man who likes both gets between women, this female friendship usually doesn't last.
friends and money
How to solve money issues with friends? Can friends be used?
Friendship: nonsense and myths

Nonsense and myths associated with the concept of "friendship":
"Real, faithful, male friendship" (this concept formed the basis of many literary works), which is based on trust and commitment to commitment to self-sacrifice. Friendship between men is contrasted with relationships between women, where it is believed that real friendship impossible.
Contrasting "friendship" and "love". It is believed that love excludes friendship, and friendship excludes love.

Expediency: what friendship works for

The expediency of friendship is the attitude of friendship towards life goals. How, for example, friendship with a particular person (or, for example, with a group of classmates) works for the purpose of my life?
You already have your goals for the year, three and five years. Your goals are written down. Look, in what column, under what goal and task does friendship with this person fit? And with this? If it doesn’t fit any of the goals, you have at least two options: either formulate it as an independent goal: “to continue to be friends with N as much and as often as N needs”, or reconsider the need for this friendship.
It is possible, at least to change her character: to continue to meet pleasantly, but not in a bar, but in a gym.

Relationships are an integral system of selective, individual and conscious relationships of a person with objective reality, which includes three main components: attitude towards people, towards objects outside world and to yourself.

Interpersonal relationships

The term "interpersonal" carries the understanding that the relationship between a person and another individual is mutually oriented. Interpersonal relationships are a system of expectations and orientations of members of a certain group relative to each other, determined by the organization. joint activities and based on general ideas about values ​​and social norms.

The basis of interpersonal relationships is the efforts of partners who are aimed at making their behavior and their feelings the most understandable and acceptable to each other. It is actions and feelings that create the matrix of relationships through which direct communication occurs.

Sometimes interpersonal relationships should be considered as a system of traditional generally accepted patterns of behavior that not only structure communication, but also ensure its mutual continuity between two partners.

In such relationships, it is inherent for each person to play their own interpersonal role, which entails a well-defined status - a set of stable rights and obligations. In most cases, the beginning of the implementation of this role occurs unconsciously: without preliminary analysis and clear decisions, partners begin to adapt to each other. Thus, the essence of the phenomenon of interpersonal relations is the mutual orientation of individuals who are in long-term contact with each other.

Business and personal relationships

Business relationship- these are relationships in which communication is determined strictly within the defined tasks of the common cause and the guidelines of the leadership. Business relations are strictly aimed at the result, their main motivation is not the communication process itself, but the ultimate goal.

Entering into business relations, a person is guided primarily by internal and external discipline, which can only be developed by an adult, mature person. Therefore, children do not enter into business relations, even the relationship between the child and the teacher in primary and high school are personal relationships. If partners have established an informal nature of business relations, then over time they can transform into personal ones.

It should not be assumed that similar view relationships is inherent only in working with colleagues, superiors, etc. Business relationships can be established with close people. However, this is preceded by a dialogue, you should discuss with the mother, husband, child, why you think that establishing such relations with them is relevant and what mutual benefit will be from this for both parties.

Personal relationships are relationships between close people, they are devoid of a hint of officialdom. Such relationships are not documented, as is often the case in business relationships. Personal relationships are relationships between parents and children, friends, classmates outside the school, brothers and sisters.

Wherever a person lives and works, where he communicates with other people, he has a wide variety of relationships with them: from casual, insignificant to long-term, stable, from purely formal to friendly, intimate. Relationships can be divided into two groups: official (official, business) and personal (friendly, comradely, friendly). Business relations are conditioned by industrial, educational, social activities and its social framework: teacher-student, boss-subordinate, doctor-patient, etc. Personal relationships can also arise on the basis of some specific activity.

The relations of the first group are regulated by legal and (to a lesser extent) moral norms. Among the moral ones, first of all, those that arise from the demands of official duty play a role here. Personal relations are regulated mainly by moral norms and are conditioned, as a rule, by common interests, mutual sympathy, and a sense of respect. To a large extent, they depend on the personal characteristics of people.

AT real life these two groups of relationships are not sharply demarcated. So, for example, in any class there are two systems of relations between students. First, the system responsible addiction , or business relationships (headman, Komsomol organizer, etc.), and, secondly, a system of friendly, or simply friendly, relationships. These two systems are interconnected, intertwined, but do not completely coincide.

The requirements that participants in one or another type of relationship make to each other are also different, and the motives for choosing, for example, the head of the class or a friend, are also different. So, the headman must be executive, organized and sufficiently demanding. The popularity of a student in the class in the system of personal relationships is usually determined by those qualities and personality traits that are highly valued in this group.

What determines the popularity of the student in the system of personal relationships of the class? Psychological research has revealed different options, which affect the degree of popularity of a particular student in the class. This is primarily the personality and character of children. So, for example, "collectivists", that is, students with a social, collectivistic orientation, are more recognized in the class, regardless of their position in the system of business relationships, than "egoists", students with an egoistic orientation. People who are more balanced, calm, benevolent can count on greater recognition of themselves in the team. Naturally, the significance of one or another criterion changes with the age of the students, and is not the same for girls and boys. In the lower grades big influence the position of the student in the class is influenced by his progress, discipline, as well as appearance. In the senior classes, these are intellectual qualities, erudition, and sometimes strength and dexterity (in boys), external data (in girls), the presence (or absence) of fashionable and prestigious things.

Psychologists have revealed another pattern: the more a student appreciates his class, the higher his place in the system of personal relations, that is, the team, as it were, returns him his high grade of the class.Often, by who is popular in a given group, one can judge the values ​​adopted in it. So, in a class that is not focused on spiritual values, students who have prestigious things can be popular.

Personal (friendly, friendly) relationships are based primarily on the sympathy (antipathy) of people entering into such selective, informal relationships. What is connected with and on the basis of what does the mutual attractiveness of people arise?

They agreed. Wave and stone
Poetry and prose, ice and fire,
Not so different from each other.
First, mutual differences
They were boring to each other;
Then they liked it, then
Riding every day
And soon they became inseparable.
So people (I repent first)
Nothing to do friends.

Well, what does science say about this now? Let us use some of the data that the Leningrad psychologist N. N. Obozov cites in his book "Interpersonal Relations". First of all, it should be said that the emergence of interpersonal attractiveness is only the first phase of relationships between people. Such relationships are called "friendly", they do not oblige to anything and can be maintained for a long time without going into deeper ones, intimate relationship- friendly, loving. And to the question of what attracts - repels two people: similarity, similarity or difference - there is no (and probably cannot be) an unambiguous answer; depending on what is the similarity, what is the difference, what is the situation of communication. The results of numerous studies allow us to identify some factors that can contribute to the emergence of sympathy - antipathy. Firstly, great importance has in what "environment" people interact - in a situation of cooperation or rivalry. The first situation leads to an increase in the attractiveness of another person, contributes to the emergence of a deeper and more stable sympathy, the second situation, respectively, reduces the likelihood of interpersonal attractiveness. Further, a significant influence is exerted by the coincidence value orientations(i.e., central, main interests, views, principles, attitudes). A very large role belongs to the nature of a person's idea of ​​himself and others: this is the correct perception of positive and negative traits character, similarity in the assessment of the main and differences in the assessment of secondary qualities in in p ideas about oneself, etc. The following data speaks of how ambiguous the influence of similarity - differences for the emergence and preservation of feelings of sympathy - antipathy is.

The influence of similarity is also ambiguous - differences in the temperaments of people. As you know, the characteristics of the nervous system and, accordingly, the characteristics of temperament significantly affect the nature of communication. So, for example, the property of mobility - inertia is combined with the features of communication in the following way.

If we compare the ratio of the characteristics of the temperament of people in friendly couples (i.e., where sympathies for each other are stable and deep) and mutually rejecting couples (with stable antipathy), then a rather complex and ambiguous dependence will be revealed. Melancholic people give the widest range of combinations with other types of temperament: they can be good friends with sanguine people, phlegmatic people, and melancholic people like themselves. Antipathy often occurs in pairs of choleric - choleric, sanguine - sanguine, but it practically does not happen in pairs of phlegmatic - phlegmatic.

Thus, even these brief information show that interpersonal attractiveness, which is a necessary condition for the emergence and maintenance of friendly, friendly relationships, arises due to a very various reasons that are in complex combinations with each other. Therefore, we can firmly say that none of the characteristics of a person (and even more so, none of the aspects of his temperament) is an obstacle to establishing friendly relationships, to normal, satisfying human communication with other people.