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How are personal relationships different from formal relationships? The difference between business and personal relationships

Subordination is an integral part of any healthy relationship between people. However, within different groups, communication can be built according to different schemes. Two of the most striking of them determine the nature of personal and business relationships. But in order to understand the difference between business and personal relationships, you first need to understand a little about nature as such.

Interpersonal relationships

The definition of "interpersonal" reflects the idea of ​​the mutual connection of several individuals in the context of relationships. That is, relations between people cannot have one or another character if one person completely ignores the other.

Most often, interpersonal relationships arise on the basis of common views, values ​​and/or activities. In their structure, they represent a system of mutual orientations of several people relative to each other.

Relationships are not a passive process - they necessarily require mutual efforts on the part of partners, and this shows the similarity of personal and business relationships. Such communication is aimed at optimizing and harmonizing specific feelings, intentions and forms of their expression in everyday behavior. It is these efforts that determine the nature of the matrix on which relationships are built in practice.

Business and personal relationships

What is the difference between business and personal relationships? A business relationship is understood as a relationship determined by common corporate interests. Such relationships can take place between employees of both one link and in the context of a corporation's hierarchical ladder. The purpose of business relationships is the result of common work efforts without reference to the value of the communication process itself.

Personal relationships are built differently. As a rule, they arise between close people, and their motivation is inside, and not outside the process of communication itself. In other words, in the process of personal relationships, people are interested in each other more than as a result of their relationship.

The Role of Discipline in Personal and Business Relationships

To better understand the difference between business and personal relationships, you need to pay attention to such a factor as discipline. The presence of strict disciplinary norms in behavior between two people or within a group of people determines the business nature of their communication. But if, against the background of exclusively business ties, corporate discipline simultaneously arises and fades into the background, then relations gradually acquire not a partnership, but a personal character.

However, defining discipline as an answer to the question of how business and personal relationships differ, one cannot but say that to a large extent it is also inherent in personal relationships that are also not without subordination, for example, between parents and children. The difference is that the discipline of personal relationships is established naturally and does not violate the internal comfort of individuals, while business discipline takes the form of a documented official format.

How often do people hear from others phrases that include the concept of "personal relationships"? Surely every day. Sooner or later, they begin to be interested in the meaning of these words, since not everyone will be able to understand the intricacies of relationships between people.

Undoubtedly, the world of relationships is multifaceted and difficult, sometimes only a specialist can understand all its subtleties. However, for a person who is interested in understanding himself and learning to better understand others, it will be useful to know what personal relationships are.

Personal relationships: subtleties of the concept

Based on the name, it can be understood that personal relationships are communication between people, that is, individuals, based on individual psychological characteristics. The main factors that underlie this type of relationship are feelings - interest, in the first place. It is important to note that personal relationships can develop both in a positive and negative plane, in other words, among the emotions that make people enter into personal relationships, there are:

  • sympathy / antipathy;
  • interest;
  • love/hate;
  • attachment;
  • enmity;
  • respect;
  • suspicions;
  • confidence.

You can list for a long time the range of feelings and emotions that push people to enter the plane beyond which the stage of personal relationships begins. Friendship, care, participation - all this is a manifestation of a personal relationship with another person.

Naturally, personal relationships cannot be built solely on emotions. Any relationship, and personal relationships are no exception, are subjective - that is why even in the composition of people who are close in spirit, a part may not support the interests or inclinations of others. A striking example, often found in friendly companies - relations with the same person in different people radically opposite - someone admires him and sets an example as a positive person, while others shun him and consider him a source negative emotions. This happens precisely under the influence of personal relationships.

In addition, a personal attitude towards a person does not depend on his age or position in society, profession and hobbies also do not greatly affect the opinion that he makes on others. Much depends on the character of a person, his behavior and attitude towards others, as well as on what kind of people he himself allows into his social circle. That is why personal relationships are built differently for each person - someone is the soul of the company, without showing any effort for this, and someone has to prove to others that you can communicate with him without harming your reputation. Personal relationships are a multifaceted world filled with emotions and constantly changing, supplementing, improving.

Relationships are the feelings that people have for each other. Basically, feelings during communication are positive (likes) or negative (dislikes).
Sympathy (Greek sympatheia- “ internal arrangement, attraction") - a feeling of a person's stable emotional predisposition to other people.
Antipathy (Greek antipatheia, from anti against, and pathos passion) - a feeling of hostility, dislike or disgust, emotional attitude rejection of someone or something. The opposite of affection. Antipathy, like sympathy, is largely an unconscious feeling and is not determined by a volitional decision, but it can also arise consciously, as a result of a moral assessment in relation to those people, creatures or phenomena that are condemned by the adopted in this society system of views.
Antipathy has as its source an idea of ​​the harmfulness, danger, ugliness, inferiority of the object of antipathy, acquired by personal or hereditary experience or instilled in education. This feeling may also be based on a special excitability nervous system individual (see Idiosyncrasy).
The hereditary or acquired antipathy of humans and animals to certain objects often has an instinctive or reflex nature and, according to some authors, is associated with the task of self-preservation of the individual, species, group or ethnic group.
In sociology and psychology, antipathy, like sympathy, serves as one of the motivational regulators of interpersonal and intergroup relationships. At the same time, feelings of like and dislike can be more or less independent or even complementary, that is, they can naturally be combined in an emotional attitude towards another person (the severity of one pole with the simultaneous severity of the opposite) [Wikipedia].
The emergence of likes or dislikes depends on:
* physical attractiveness;
* similarities and similarities;
* character, skills, success in various types activities;
* joint work, action for the benefit of another;
* Respect for others.
Appearance, physical attractiveness
If the external features of a person are pleasant to us, then we involuntarily sympathize with him. He is perceived by us for external physically beautiful qualities, and slovenly, untidy people often cause antipathy.
similarity, resemblance
Similarity and similarity can be external and internal.
The similarity is external - the same age, gender, cultural level, material security.
Internal similarity - a commonality of interests, views, values, norms of behavior, character traits.
The "otherness" of a person to others prevents us from understanding him and feeling sympathy for him. For the "dissimilarity" of a person, he is often hung with offensive nicknames and labels.
Character traits, skills
When entering into relationships with others, the consolidation of sympathies is influenced by various qualities of character, success in various activities, skills, hobbies. They make a person attractive to others. If a person is disposed to others, sympathetic, attentive, kind and knows how to sometimes give in to others, then he causes them the greatest sympathy.
Antipathy and alertness, on the contrary, are caused by constrained, timid, shy, insecure people.
Psychologists asked schoolchildren to describe which guys they dislike the most. And here's what happened.
The "winner" is the one who counts without any good reason. that he should always be first in everything.
"The most beautiful" ("first beauty") - the one who is most interested in the question: "Am I the sweetest in the world, all blush and whiter?"
"Rich" - the one who believes: "I can buy and sell everything. I am the best because I have more money."
"Hooligan" - "I like to feel the defenselessness of others."
"Overconfident" - "I'm always right!"
"Suck" - "I will only do what others like!"
"Weakling, Quiet" - "Don't touch me, I'm small and weak!"
"Crybaby, sneak" - "I will complain to adults"
All the guys described are focused on themselves, they think only about themselves, they don’t take into account others, they can use other people to achieve their goals. They are constantly
demonstrate that they are better than others - smarter \. more beautiful; others - that they are worse (weaker, more defenseless) than others. Both others do not like it, cause antipathy.
Joint work, actions for the benefit of another
A common cause brings people together best. General, joint and especially business relationship create favorable conditions for the formation of people's ability to coordinate their actions, help each other, especially if they are useful to everyone personally.
In the cartoon "Winter in Prostokvashino", the cat Matroskin explains this: "Because joint work - for my benefit - unites."
Lazy and incompetent cause us antipathy.
Respectful attitude towards others
Respect - the position of one person in relation to another, recognition of the dignity of the individual. Respect prescribes not to harm another person, either physical or moral.
Respect is one of the most important requirements of morality. AT moral conscience Society respect implies justice, equality of rights, attention to the interests of another person, his beliefs. Respect implies freedom, trust. Suppressing these demands is a breach of respect. However, the meaning of these qualities that make up respect is determined by the nature of society and the accepted paradigms. The understanding of human rights, freedom, equality in different centuries was completely different. According to the ethics dictionary edited by I. Kohn, the greatest opportunities for deep respect, the elimination of exploitation, as well as the conditions for the highest measure of real freedom of the individual, are provided by the communist formation.
According to Kant, respect sets the standard human relations even more than sympathy. Only on the basis of respect can there be mutual understanding.
Also, respect is a moral duty and the only correct position of a person in the face of everything valuable, in the face of any person (Wikipedia).
Goodwill - comprehends the activity associated with disinterested concern for the well-being of others; correlates with the concept of selflessness - that is, with the sacrifice of one's own benefits in favor of the good ...
If people treat us kindly, respectfully. If all this is manifested in a person in facial expressions, behavior, actions - this makes us sympathetic.
Antipathy is caused in us by indifferent, unfriendly people.
With benevolence, a person:
* looks directly at the person, the look expresses friendliness;
*smiles warmly;
* sits close;
* expresses interest in what the person likes and is passionate about;
* friendly brawls are possible;
* listens attentively;
* expresses approving, understanding judgments;
* the person is benevolent open;
* gestures are calm, friendly, expressing the attitude towards the interlocutor (1, p. 110-111).
Literature:
1. Psychology. 4th grade. A.D. Andreva, I.V. Dubrovina, D.V. Lubovskaya, A.M. Parishioners. Voronezh: Modek, 2001.

Friendship
Material Each of us needs friends, everyone appreciates friendly relations, but in science the phenomenon of "friendship" and "friendly relations" is still poorly understood. Perhaps it was best analyzed by Igor Semenovich Kon, who even wrote a book called Friendship. She came out in the 70s.
Generally speaking, friendship is a "non-sexual marriage". In the sense that people do not marry each other, but all other relationships, minus sexual ones, remain with them. This is help, support, devotion, interest in each other, spending time together. At the same time, this happens more in marriage, and in friendship it is often more interesting and better. Friendship is the satisfaction of our needs for participation, support, sharing our impressions.
Friendly relations can be between people close and not, friends and buddies. And maybe between them - and not to be.

Different people put different meanings into the word Friends and Friend. Friends should not be confused with only friends. Friends are people you can have fun with.
time, but no more. They differ from friends in that friends can be asked for help in difficult moment but friends don't. Necessary people useful contacts are useful, but this is not at all the same as friends. A separate conversation about what a true friend is, as opposed to just a friend. One thing is certain: Good friends go to someone who knows how to be a good friend.
Why do people make friends and Why do people make friends?
For most people, their friendship answers the "why" question: they are friends because... See Friendship Basics. Some people make friends so that their friendship has meaning and purpose.
Friendships are right, promising and superfluous.
The absence of a friend or friendship with anyone at all usually speaks of personal trouble and creates the prerequisites for personal trouble.
Circle of friends

The circle of friends is a matter of both quantity and quality of friends. The choice of friends is the most important task in life, on which a lot depends on the fate of everyone. "Tell me who your friends are and I'll tell you who you are."
Friendship between a man and a woman

Friendship between a man and a woman is possible, but very often a man next to a woman only pretends to be her friend, having completely different views on her; If you love each other, then learn to be friends. It is difficult to say that people love each other if the relationship between them cannot be called friendly. Good friendship is the foundation of true love.
If you are friends, then think many times before bringing love and sex into your relationship. The traditional notion of friendship excludes the expression of sexual attraction, and in our culture the introduction of love and sexual relations in friendly is a dangerous moment.
Women Friendship
The fact that there can be no friendship between women is a myth. Another thing is that if a man who likes both gets between women, this women Friendship usually doesn't last.
friends and money
How to solve money issues with friends? Can friends be used?
Friendship: nonsense and myths

Nonsense and myths associated with the concept of "friendship":
"Real, faithful, male friendship" (this concept formed the basis of many literary works), which is based on trust and commitment to commitment to self-sacrifice. Friendship between men is contrasted with relationships between women, where it is believed that true friendship impossible.
Contrasting "friendship" and "love". It is believed that love excludes friendship, and friendship excludes love.

Expediency: what friendship works for

The expediency of friendship is the attitude of friendship towards life goals. How, for example, friendship with a particular person (or, for example, with a group of classmates) works for the purpose of my life?
You already have your goals for the year, three and five years. Your goals are written down. Look, in what column, under what goal and task does friendship with this person fit? And with this? If it doesn’t fit any of the goals, you have at least two options: either formulate it as an independent goal: “to continue to be friends with N as much and as often as N needs”, or reconsider the need for this friendship.
It is possible, at least to change her character: to continue to meet pleasantly, but not in a bar, but in a gym.

Each person is a person who differs from other individuals by a system life values, principles, moral principles, outlook on life and priorities. A person is a person only when he lives in society, communicates, meets, gets acquainted and develops together with other people who surround him. The relationship of a person with other personalities and the ability to read people by non-verbal signs, establish contact with them (some feelings, emotions, arouse interest, etc.) is called interpersonal. In other words, interpersonal relationships are the relationship of one person with another, or with whole group of people.

Classification of interpersonal relationships

The life of each person is multifaceted, which is why relationships in society are different. Depending on the situation and numerous other factors, interpersonal relationships are classified according to several criteria and are divided into the following types of interpersonal relationships:

  • formal and informal;
  • personal and business (professional);
  • emotional and rational (practical);
  • parity and subordination.

Before exploring each type of relationship in detail, we would like to recommend modern technology achievements of psychology in building relationships in various fields. Having mastered these psychological techniques, you will be able to easily interact with people and build relationships.

Personal relationships

occupy a special niche in human life personal relationships. First of all, love. Marina Komisarova's bestseller “Love. Unfreezing Secrets has helped hundreds of people get out of the crisis of personal relationships.

Also, personal relationships should include:

  • affection;
  • dislike;
  • friendship
  • respect;
  • contempt;
  • sympathy;
  • antipathy;
  • enmity;
  • love;
  • love, etc.

This category of interpersonal relationships includes those that develop between individuals in addition to their sphere of joint activities. For example, a person may be liked as a specialist and in his field, but as a person he causes hostility and condemnation from his colleagues. Or vice versa, a person is the soul of the company, everyone loves and respects him, but at work he is irresponsible and does not take his duties seriously, for which he causes a wave of indignation among the authorities and in the team.

Business relationship

Under business(professional) contacts are those that develop on the basis of joint activities and professional interests. For example, people work together and their common interest is their work. Students study in the same class - they have a common school curriculum, classmates, teachers and the school as a whole. Such relationships develop regardless of personal interpersonal contacts, that is, you can not even contact a person in any way (do not communicate and have no feelings towards him), but at the same time, the presence of business ties is not excluded, since these people continue to study or work together. The ability to maintain relationships in stressful situations when you have to communicate with inadequate people, because none of us is immune from this. There is a wonderful book by Mark Goulston about what to do with inadequate and unbearable people in your life. In it you will find techniques and tips that will help you control communication with inadequate people, eliminate unnecessary conflicts.

The basis of the business type of relationships is the distribution of responsibilities between each member of the team (working, creative, educational, etc.).

Rational Relations

Rational relationships are built when one of the parties, or both parties, have the goal of deriving some benefit from these relations. The basis of rational connections is common sense, calculation. In this case, you can use a variety of techniques and knowledge. For example, such as storytelling.

emotional relationship

emotional contacts are formed in a company or group of people based on the emotions and feelings that they have for each other. Only in rare exceptional cases is there an objective assessment in such relationships. personal qualities, therefore, the emotional and rational relationships of individuals often do not coincide. You can dislike a person, but at the same time be “friends” with him for the sake of a certain benefit.

Parity and subordination relationships

Contacts of two or a group of people who line up on the principle of equality are called parity. The complete opposite those are subordinate connections. They are understood as those in which one side has a higher position, social status, position, as well as more opportunities, rights and powers in relation to the other party. This type of relationship develops between the boss and subordinates, between the teacher and students, parents and children, etc. At the same time, interpersonal contacts within the team (between employees, students, brothers and sisters) are of a parity type.

Formal and informal relationships

Can be divided into two types of interpersonal relationships: formal and informal. Formal (official) connections are built on legal basis and are regulated by legislation, as well as all kinds of charters, procedures, instructions, decrees, etc. Such relationships are built independently of personal feelings and emotions. As a rule, such relations are formalized by a contract or agreement in the written form established by law. Formal relationships can be parity (between team members) and subordinate (between superiors and subordinates), business and rational.

Informal (informal) interpersonal relationships develop without any legal restrictions and on the basis of personal interests and preferences. They can be both rational and emotional, as well as parity, subordination, personal and even business. In fact, formal and informal interpersonal contacts are practically the same as personal and business relationships. But there is a fine line here, which in most cases is difficult to determine, since one type of relationship overlaps another, a third, and so on. For example, the relationship between superiors and subordinates. Between them there can be such types of contacts overnight:

  • business (employer and employee);
  • formal (the employee is obliged to fulfill his official duties and the employer to pay him for his work, which is regulated by the employment contract);
  • subordinate (the employee is subordinate to his employer and is obliged to follow his instructions);
  • personal (affection, friendship, sympathy);
  • parity (the employer may be a relative or close friend of his employee);
  • rational (the employee enters into this relationship for his own benefit - wages);
  • emotional (head good man and the worker likes it very much.

All types of personal connections in real life between a particular person and others are closely intertwined, which complicates the process of drawing clear boundaries between them.

Feelings and their role in relationships

Each relationship is built on the basis of certain feelings, which can be both positive (sympathy) and negative (antipathy). First, feelings and emotions are formed, caused by the external data of a new acquaintance, and only then certain feelings begin to form for him, his inner essence. Informal relationships between people often develop on feelings that are far from objectivity. The following factors distort the opinion of one individual about the second, which can significantly affect the set of feelings:

  • lack of ability to discern the true intentions and motivations of other people;
  • inability to objectively and soberly assess the state of affairs and the well-being of your interlocutor or just a new acquaintance at the time of observing his behavior;
  • the presence in a person of prejudices, attitudes imposed independently or by society;
  • the presence of stereotypes that prevent one from seeing the true nature of a person (he is a beggar - he is bad, or all women are mercantile, and men are polygamous, and something like that);
  • forcing events and the desire to form a final opinion about a person without fully understanding and not knowing what he really is;
  • inability to accept and reckon with other people's opinions and unwillingness to do this in principle.

Harmonious and healthy interpersonal relationships are built only when each side is able to reciprocate, sympathize, rejoice for the other, empathize. Such contacts of individuals reach the highest forms of development.

Forms of interpersonal relationships

All relationships start with communication. Ability to negotiate with other people modern world is the key to success in every area of ​​life. The art of communication is based on four laws. Book "Master of Communication: The Four Essential Laws of Communication" will help you learn effective interaction with people in a variety of situations.

Whether a person likes or dislikes another person or group of people depends solely on his ability to accept them as they are and understand their motive and logic.

There are several stages (forms) of the formation of interpersonal contacts:

  • Getting to know each other. This stage consists of three levels: 1 - a person recognizes the other in person; 2 - both parties recognize each other and are welcomed at the meeting; 3 - welcome and have common topics and interests.
  • Friendship (showing sympathy on both sides and mutual interest);
  • Partnership (business relations built on the presence of common goals and interests (work, study));
  • Friendship;
  • Love (is the highest form of interpersonal relationships).

A person is a person who is born in society. Each society has its own moral principles, certain rules, prejudices and stereotypes. The formation of personality is primarily influenced by the society in which a person lives. It also depends on how relations develop in society.

Important factors in determining the type of relationship in a company of two or more individuals are not only their belonging to a particular society, but also gender, age, profession, nationality, social status, and others. In the same time by Eric Berne, a person in adulthood is able to control the nature of his communication. And it's interesting psychological development to help you understand yourself and others.

What is the difference between business and personal relationships? Many. The format of communication main goal, tasks and even age characteristics. There are actually a lot of differences. And all of them are familiar to people who have even basic, minimal communication experience.

Features of business relations

First of all, it is clarity, accuracy, as well as structured speech. Business communication is carried out with a specific purpose, which means that the conversation should be on the topic - without emotions, expressions of unnecessary feelings and inappropriate views.

There is also a place to be someone else's opinion. As part of official communication, they listen to each person and then decide whether it is advisable to use his ideas in work.

The most important thing is punctuality. If a person is late, then he makes colleagues and partners wait. This shows him as an irresponsible employee and, moreover, slows down the entire workflow, affects the activities of the entire team.

Compliance with the status - that's another difference between business and personal relationships. That's etiquette. An employee of a reputable organization should come to the office in a suit, but certainly not in beach slates, shorts or a short skirt.

About personal relationships

Now we can briefly talk about them. Special emotional contact - that's what distinguishes business and personal relationships. In the first case, it is usually absent. But in a personal aspect, you can’t do without it. This includes friendship, love, relationships between children and parents, virtual correspondence buddies, etc.

The nature of personal relationships is influenced by a huge number of factors. Here are just a small part of them:

  • Individual characteristics of each opponent.
  • The specificity of the worldview.
  • value orientations.
  • belonging to a particular culture.
  • Communication skills and predisposition to social contact.
  • Circumstances.

All this forms the attitude of people towards each other, mutual sympathy or hostility, and also determines the prospect of their connection. Everything is natural here. Personal relationships are established as if by themselves, without violating the inner comfort of a person. If people don't get along, they may end the conversation. But business partners and colleagues in most cases have to continue contact, regardless of their hostility.

Examples

They are found everywhere. Examples of business and personal relationships accompany us constantly. The boss calls the subordinate to his office to talk about his promotion - this is the situation demonstrating the first case. On the face of a business relationship. This also includes the process of concluding a partnership or an employment contract. Even a buyer in a store, communicating with a sales assistant, carries out business relations. Because their dialogue has a goal - the implementation of the purchase and sale of goods. Each business contact leads to a specific result.

Personal relationships also have a purpose. But it is more sublime, since we are talking about the participants in such contact receiving joy from mutual communication. Two friends meet at a bar in the evening to discuss events. last days- this is a personal aspect. Just like the communication of husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend, parents and children.

Conclusion

So, the above was briefly said about the difference between business and personal relationships. Now we can summarize the conclusions. A convenient way would be a brief comparative table "Business and personal relationships." In it, too, only the main, most significant nuances are noted.

Business conversation- a form of communication interaction in the name of obtaining mutually beneficial results. The personal is selective in nature, in which the emotional attitude towards the partner comes first.

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