Communication between preschoolers and peers. Age features of communication of a preschooler with peers

12.10.2019

Have you ever sat on a bench in any playground on a sunny day?

Where kids from one year and up to seven play? If yes, then you, for sure, watching them, caught the whole scheme of their communication. Four-, five-, six-year-olds play, as a rule, in groups, as a team.

While younger kids either play alone, not particularly interested in their neighbor in the sandbox (unless, of course, he was attracted to other people's bright toys), or his mother entertains him. In principle, this is the peculiarity of children's communication preschool age, namely at this age.

So, what is the communication of preschool children?

As a rule, this is a long, continuous process, which includes styles, forms of communication, as well as the targeting of communication (communication of the child within the family, with adults, with peers).

Let's consider each component of communication in more detail. The forms of communication of children depend directly on their age. Modern psychology distinguishes four forms:

Situational-personal (from birth to six months): from about 1 month, the baby begins to turn his head to the sound, from 1.5 months to smile, and from 3-4 months to smile in response to the smile of his parents. These are the first manifestations of communication: the child responds to the sounds and facial expressions of his parents (those people he is used to and knows well).

Situational-business (from six months to two years): at this age, the parent is a model for the child, an assistant, a mentor. In any form of activity of the child, he requires the presence of an adult, his complicity.

Extra-situational-cognitive (from two to five years): the specificity of this period (primary and middle preschool age) is that the child is ripe for communication with adults and partly with peers. The child is drawn to an adult, which is manifested both in games and in attempts to help around the house, copy the actions of adults. If a child attends a kindergarten, then at this age the role of a teacher is also paramount (the child tries to earn praise, brings gifts to the teacher). At this age, a child can be called a “pochemuchka”, because. he constantly asks questions about the surrounding world, natural phenomena, i.e. his need for knowledge increases.

Extra-situational-personal (age six to seven years): the main means of communication is speech, which allows the baby to convey, and most importantly receive necessary information. Children of senior preschool age begin to develop the first skills of collective communication, team games, and cooperation. This is the highest degree of communication of a child of preschool age.

The first two forms (inherent in early preschool age) involve non-verbal communication, i.e. using facial expressions, gestures, touch, smile, actions. Speech accompaniment of actions, games is inherent in the last two forms.

The development of communication skills depends entirely on the choice of communication style by adults with a child (whether it be parents or a teacher in a preschool educational institution). Communication style predetermines further development character of the child, his initiative, sociability, leadership skills the ability to cope with difficulties.

There are three main communication styles of preschoolers:

The authoritarian style is a rigid style, which implies that adults set demands for strict obedience, suppression of initiative, and, as a result, punishment for disobedience. The result of such upbringing can be such qualities of the child: fear of new circumstances, various fears in later life, anxiety, helplessness, waiting for someone else to make decisions.
Liberal - permissiveness, pliability, excessive effeminacy, lack of life guidelines are inherent. Low-initiative communication is expressed.
Democratic (humanistic): in the foreground is goodwill in communication, mutual support, support, joint equal participation in various activities which builds a child's self-esteem and self-confidence.

Of course, in Everyday life no style is found in its pure form in the child-adult relationship. Usually there is a mixture of authoritarian and democratic (as a means of "carrot and stick"), or democratic and liberal. Most children are arranged in such a way that, in principle, they like to communicate, explore toys, they are open to everything new and interesting, inquisitive and cheerful.

But there is another category of guys who are more anxious, suspicious, shy. Such children experience some difficulties in communication, especially at preschool age. Violation of the communication skill (as well as its slow development) is the result of various barriers:

- psychological and emotional characteristics of the child. (Melancholic child, shy, introverted, aggressive, impulsive, leader child);
- behavioral features(rudeness, pugnacity, tearfulness);
- neurological problems (fatigue, headaches, depressed mood);
- the child's lack of need for communication (or it is not sufficiently formed) - it is more interesting and calmer for the child to play alone than with peers, although they are quite friendly with him.
- lack of motives for communication of preschool children - we are talking about the fact that the child does not understand why share a toy with someone, help someone in the game, suggest if he plays well alone without unnecessary problems.
- dominance in children is not a communicative (dialogical) principle, but a practical one. Some children are much more interested in drawing, modeling from plasticine, singing, weaving from beads than talking with a group of children.

Of course the organization educational process, the formation of conflict-free interpersonal communication skills for preschool children falls on the shoulders of educators. Children who do not attend kindergarten are more deprived of full development communication skill, because The psychology of communication with children is a complex, multifaceted process.

In any children's group, sooner or later, a conflict is brewing - i.e. serious differences, dispute. To ensure conflict-free communication of preschool children, the teacher-educator sometimes has to use all unthinkable ways.

Written on this topic scientific work, reports, presentations on the formation of conflict-free communication, scenarios of activating communication are developed, conferences are organized, the content of which boils down to one thing: painless resolution of conflict situations in the children's environment.

What causes a conflict situation in a group of children?

Most often, conflict arises in play activities.

Let's highlight the main types:

an argument over a desire to possess certain toys;
dispute over which games to play;
conflict over who will participate in the game;
about the rules and plot of the game; about the distribution of the role;
conflict over the destruction of the game.

The educator is obliged to create conditions for the maximum prevention of conflicts or their optimal resolution, which are the main tasks of the pedagogical process.

Plan for organizing conflict-free communication of preschool children:

Ensure that the group has a sufficient number of the same or similar toys;
Teach children to share toys, take turns playing, exchange;
Help the guys distribute roles, involve everyone. When assigning roles, use counting rhymes, lots to avoid conflict;
When the game is destroyed by one of the children, try to switch his attention to another activity, involve him in another activity;
If a fight occurs, immediately interrupt it, delve into the subject of the fight and try to explain why both sides are wrong;
Organize teaching children the rules of polite communication, education culture: - teach children polite words when in contact with each other (thank you, please excuse me); - teach how to say hello and goodbye; - stop sneaking attempts (send them to the object of sneaking: “and Vanya said something bad.” The teacher should answer: “Go, tell Vanya about this, not me”);
Provide joint pastime for children (possibly together with parents) outside the kindergarten: theater, circus, performances;
Use games, contests, read instructive tales and stories as an opportunity to correct communication problems in the group. Such techniques allow developing the ability of children to negotiate, forgive insults;
A more subtle and personal approach to communication with a certain category of children - the so-called "difficult" children. Psychological types such children: shy children, aggressive, impulsive.

Features of communication with difficult children of preschool age:

1. Features of communication with aggressive children

Characteristics of a shy child: isolation, excessive restraint and shyness, insecurity, timidity, difficulty in expressing one's opinion, in responding to questions asked, a lot of fears and inner experiences, the rejection of team games.

- often praise the child even for the smallest success. Praise inspires such children;
- involve the child in activities that are familiar and close to him;
- give tasks in pairs with one of the peers;
- offer your help, because Asking for help on your own can be difficult.

3. Features of communication with impulsive children

Impulsive children are children who act under the influence of emotions, on the first impulse, without thinking about actions. They have excessive mobility, restlessness, hyperactivity, irascibility, irritability, touchiness.

- in any situation to show an example of calmness;
- gradually develop the perseverance of the child, captivating with interesting tasks or games;
- set specific, understandable tasks for the child;
- increase physical activity;
- to determine the scope of behavior, permitted, resolvable.

Thus, the role of communication of preschoolers is great. Further success in all areas depends on how successfully the child has learned to communicate, cooperate with others: study, career, family life ability to overcome difficulties, to cope with tasks.

The problem has always been relevant in the studies of foreign and domestic figures of pedagogy and psychology.

And this is not without reason, as it is a completely natural phenomenon. Children love to share their impressions during different types activities. Joint games of children do not pass without communication, which is the leading need of children. Without communication with peers, a child can observe certain mental disorders.

And, conversely, full communication is an indicator of the harmonious development of the personality of a preschooler.

It should not be limited to relationships within the family. Preschoolers should have contacts with peers, teachers, and other adults.

The kindergarten group is practically a stage on which they unfold between the children - its actors. In the interpersonal, not everything goes smoothly. There is strife and peace. Temporary truce, resentment and petty dirty tricks.

In all positive relationships, preschoolers form and develop positive personality traits.

In the negative moments of communication, the preschooler receives a charge negative emotions, which is fraught with sad consequences in his personal development.

What are problematic peer relationships?

The forms of communication that are problematic include increased children's aggressiveness, excessive touchiness, shyness, other communication problems.

Let's take a quick look at the factors of wrong with peers.

Aggressive children

If a child is aggressive, then peers are unlikely to become friends with him. Most likely, children will avoid such a child. Such children are objects of increased attention from parents and teachers.

In most preschoolers, aggression manifests itself to one degree or another. And this is normal when a child reacts with some degree of aggression to unfair actions from the outside. However, this form aggressive behavior has no effect on general condition baby and always gives way to peaceful forms of communication.

But there are children whose aggressive manifestations are a stable side of the personality, persist and even develop into the qualitative characteristics of preschoolers. This harms the normal communication of children.

Let us turn to another problem of communication between children.

touchy children

Although touchy children do not cause much harm to others, it is also very difficult to communicate with them. Any wrongly cast glance in the direction of such preschoolers, an accidentally dropped word, and you already lose all contact with such a child.

Resentments are very long. It is not easy for a touchy child to overcome this feeling, and he can withdraw into himself for a long time.

This feeling is destructive to any friendship. Resentment leads to painful experiences in children. They start at preschool age. Children over early age not yet familiar with this feeling.

During preschool childhood, when a child's self-esteem is being formed, resentment arises suddenly and takes root deep in the child's mind.

Unlike an aggressive child, a touchy child does not fight, does not show physical aggression. But the behavior of a touchy preschooler is demonstratively suffering. And it does not encourage friendly communication.

Often, an offended preschooler deliberately attracts the attention of others by deliberately refusing to communicate with anyone who approaches him.

shy kids

Communication with shy children brings little pleasure. With unfamiliar children and adults, they generally refuse to communicate. Getting to know them is a top-level problem.

Unfortunately, in most preschool children, the beginnings of shyness can be observed. And if in 60% of preschoolers shyness disappears as soon as the child is offered something interesting, then it is very difficult to get others to talk.

Not everyone and not always manages to talk to a shy preschooler. When approaching stranger, be it an adult or a child, shy kid feels emotional discomfort, shy. In his behavior, you can catch notes of anxiety, and even fear.

Shy preschoolers tend to have low self-esteem, which prevents them from engaging in relationships with peers. It seems to them that they will do something differently from what is required of them. And therefore they refuse to take any steps towards the collective of children.

Remain aloof from common affairs and any joint activities watching other children play from the sidelines.

I would like to note another type of children who have problems in communication.

Demonstrative children

Such children, as a rule, compare themselves with other children and demonstrate their success to everyone around them. They are arrogant and proud, even when childhood.

Demonstrativeness gradually turns into a stable quality of the child's personality and brings him a lot of negative experiences. On the one hand, the child is upset if he is perceived differently than he exposes himself. On the other hand, he does not want to be like everyone else.

At times, a demonstrative child is able to perform a positive act. But this is not at all for the sake of another, but only in order to once again show oneself, to demonstrate one's kindness.

Communication with a demonstrative child is very complicated at preschool age. Demonstrative children like to attract undue attention to themselves, often bring beautiful toys to kindergarten to brag to other children.

Interestingly, demonstrative children are active in the process of communication. But this communication on their part is devoid of interest in the other.

They only talk about themselves. If they fail to assert themselves in the eyes of their peers, and especially adults, then such children begin to show aggression, scandal, quarrel with everyone.

And although other children do not particularly want to communicate with them, they themselves really need the environment. Because they need someone to listen to them in order to demonstrate themselves in front of society.

Features of communication of preschoolers with peers

As we discussed above, the communication of preschoolers with peers is very dependent on themselves. If they are aggressive, touchy, envious or demonstrative, then they often have problems in the process of communication.

But all children of the age we are considering also have common features communication with peers.

Preschoolers are highly emotional. In a group of peers, they manifest other forms of communication.

This applies to expressive-mimic manifestations. Children in general are very fond of gesticulating during conversations, reinforcing their statements with facial expressions. This helps them to be emotionally expressive during communication.

I would like to note some features of the communication of children at preschool age. Children love to communicate. During communication with peers, they develop speech skills, develop communication skills. There are, of course, some communication problems associated with frequent conflicts in the children's team.

Communication with peers is more relaxed than with adults. Completely different forms of behavior prevail here. Non-standardized communicative patterns can also be attributed to the peculiarities of the behavior of preschool children during communication. Such as bouncing, bizarre poses, antics. One child may intentionally mimic another, which does not happen in communication with an adult.

But in each free manifestation, the child reveals his individual personality traits. And these distinctive features of children's communication with peers remain until the end of preschool childhood.

Another feature of children's communication at preschool age can be considered that the child is dominated by the initiative in response. A preschooler quickly reacts to a replica of another child with response activity. At such moments, the development of dialogue speech occurs. At the same time, problems such as protests, resentment, conflicts can be noticed, because the child is trying to say his weighty word last. And none of the children wants to give in.

On the forms of communication between children and peers

Now it is worth talking a little about the forms of communication of the child in the circle of peers.

The first form of communication of preschool children is usually called emotional and practical.
A child, more often at a younger preschool age, expects complicity in undertakings and pranks. This form of communication is situational and depends on the specific situation.

Problems in this form of communication can arise at the moments of interaction of communication partners. Either the children switch their attention from the interlocutor to some object, or they fight because of this object.

This is due to the fact that the development of objective actions is not yet at a sufficient level, and the need to use objects in communication is already being formed.

In such cases, permission is reluctant.

Another form of communication between peers is called situational business.

Somewhere by the age of four, its formation begins and continues until the age of 6. The features of this stage are that now children begin to develop role-playing skills, even role-playing games. Communication becomes already collective.

The development of cooperation skills begins. This is not the same as complicity. If in the emotional-practical form of communication, children acted and played individually, although they were in the same team. But each represented himself differently. Here, the children in the game are closely connected by a single plot and the roles they have taken on.

One role will fall out, and a problem arises - the plot of the game is broken.

Therefore, it can be stated that the situational business form arises on the basis of a common cause in order to achieve a certain overall result interactions with peers.

In popular children, the formation of communication skills in this form of cooperation is ahead of the development of communication skills of children who are less visible in the children's team.

It is even worth noting here that aggressive and demonstrative children, which we talked about earlier, are more successful in developing communication skills than touchy and envious children, who are more likely to stay away due to personal characteristics.

At the age of 6-7 years, communication skills in preschool children acquire a more or less formed character. Children become more friendly to peers. The formation of skills of mutual assistance begins. Even demonstrative children are already beginning not only to talk about themselves, but show attention to the statements of other children.

At this time, the formation of an extra-situational form of communication begins, which goes in two directions:

growth and formation of extra-situational contacts (children talk about what they did and saw, plan further actions and share their plans with others, learn to evaluate the words and actions of others);
formation of the image of a peer (selective attachments to peers appear regardless of the situation of communication, and these attachments are very stable by the end of the preschool period of childhood).

Those are in in general terms features of forms and problems of communication of preschool children. Now let's take a look at effective ways development of communication skills between the child in a circle of peers.

How to develop the communication skills of preschool children in preschool?

The communication skills of a preschool child with peers are actively formed in the process dialogue between children. Children's dialogue speech carries the foundations of colloquial speech activity generally. Here both the development of monologue skills, and the formation of the preschooler's speech readiness for the upcoming schooling.

Dialogues are actively used by children during games and other joint activities.

In this case, an important role is given to an adult who takes Active participation in such communication between children.

Joint games as a form public life a child of this age, contribute to solve many relationship problems.
Plots role playing help to develop community skills and building dialogue communication. In games, you can implement the formation of all forms of communication.

An adult needs to teach children to start, continue and end a dialogue. The child should be able to maintain a conversation, answering the questions posed during the dialogue.

Dialogue is a very difficult form of communication through which social interaction. Therefore, an adult should contact the child as often as possible, observing a positive emotional tone. This will encourage the preschooler to talk. Features of communication during a dialogue contribute to the formation of sentence building skills different types, from simple narrative to complex in their construction and phonetic aspects.

How is the process of communication in preschoolers

Interest in a peer in a child wakes up much later than in an adult, so the specifics of communication between preschoolers and peers differs in many respects from communication with adults. It is at preschool age that the first stage of the team is formed - the "children's society".
Contacts with peers are more vividly emotionally saturated, accompanied by sharp intonations, screams, antics, and laughter. In contacts with other children, there are no strict norms and rules that should be observed when communicating with an adult. In communication with peers, children are more relaxed, they say unexpected words, mimic each other, showing creativity and imagination. In contacts with comrades, proactive statements predominate over reciprocal ones. It is much more important for a child to express himself than to listen to another. And as a result, a conversation with a peer often fails, because everyone talks about his own, not listening and interrupting each other. Communication with peers is richer in purpose and functions than with adults. The actions of the child, aimed at peers, are more diverse. Communicating with comrades, the preschooler controls the actions of the partner, controls them, making comments, teaches, showing or imposing his own pattern of behavior, activities and comparing other children with himself. In an environment of peers, the baby demonstrates his abilities and skills.
According to G.A. Uruntaeva, during the preschool age, three forms of communication with peers develop, replacing each other. Consider them:
Among the various contacts with peers, the infant most often has direct, emotional, reflective wide range experiences. In the second half of the first year of life, complex forms of behavior develop (imitation, joint games), acting as subsequent stages in the development of the need for communication with peers. By the age of 12 months, business contacts are formed for the first time in the form of joint subject-practical and game actions. This is where the foundation for subsequent full-fledged communication with peers is laid.
The final part of contacts with comrades is aimed at getting to know them as interesting object. Infants are often not limited to the contemplation of a peer, but strive to actually study the object of interest to them. They behave with peers as with an interesting toy. Communication in the full sense is still absent, only its prerequisites are being laid.
At the age of 1 year to 1.5 years the content of contacts remains the same as in infants. Joint actions of babies are very rare and quickly disintegrate. Children cannot coordinate their desires and do not take into account the state of each other.
At 1.5 years there is a change in relationships with peers. Initiative actions are being developed in order to interest a peer. At the same time, sensitivity to the attitude of comrades develops. A feature in communication is that from 1.5 to 2 years old the child looks at (a peer as an object. There is a barrier to perception. The first reaction to a peer is an anxiety reaction. Fear of a peer lasts up to 2.3-2.6 years - this is an indicator of the development of communication.
By 2 years the first form of communication with peers is developing - emotional and practical. The content in the need for communication lies in the fact that the child expects complicity from his peers in his pranks, fun and strives for self-expression. The motives of communication are the focus of children on self-identification. At this age, the child learns to respond to the influences of another child, but there is a mirror effect in communication. Speech communication develops, which leads to the formation of groups. These groups are situational, short-lived, arising from activity. The stability of groups depends on the external qualities of the partner.
Ages 4 to 6 preschoolers have a situational-business form of communication with their peers. At 4 years old, the need to communicate with peers is put forward in one of the first places. The content of the need for communication is the desire for recognition and respect. Children use a variety of means of communication, and despite the fact that they talk a lot, speech remains ^ still situational.
An extra-situational-business form of communication is observed quite rarely, in a small number of children of 6-7 years old, but in older preschoolers there is a clear trend towards its development.
Features of communication with peers are clearly manifested in the topics of conversation. What preschoolers talk about makes it possible to trace what they value in their peers and through what they assert themselves in his eyes.
At senior preschool age communication depends on personal qualities. At the same time, the first groups are not differentiated, there are no status provisions, and therefore they are easily manipulated by adults. As soon as the groups become more or less stable, a status position appears: the leader is the person who organizes the activities of the group; star - the one who likes more; referent - with the opinion of whom everyone is considered. The criteria for evaluating a leader are set by an adult. The leader necessarily has a social standard that underlies his behavior. He brings the energy of the group together and leads it along with him (internal characteristic). To external characteristics, include a certain level of collective and behavioral knowledge and skills. Has a beautiful or bright appearance, sociable, emotional, as a rule, has some ability, independent, neat. He is motivated to communicate. He organizes communication.
The stars are only popular external qualities, developed motivation for communication, there is the presence of open emotions. Both the leader and the star and the referent belong to the group of popular children. Popularity is determined by the following criteria:
1. a large number of contacting them;
2. his proposal is always responded to;
3. interaction with him brings positive emotions;
4. they know him well, they recognize him in the photo, they know the facts from his biography;
5. he is always evaluated positively.
There are also groups and unpopular children. They can be active and passive. Passive - those who have no motivation to communicate, high degree anxiety, uncertainty. They do not know how to communicate and do not suffer from this. Active - those who have the motivation to communicate, but do not have the ability to communicate. If they communicate, then for the sake of occupying some status place in the group. This includes children with incorrect sexual differentiation, with internal anxiety, children with ignorance of the activity they are engaged in, with low threshold emotions (thick, untidy, clumsy).
Thus, it is in the older preschool age that children have an acute need for communication with their peers. Children talk a lot about themselves, about what they like or dislike. They share their knowledge, "plans for the future" with their peers.

Preschool age is characterized by a change in priorities towards communication with peers. The children get to know each other, communicate with great interest during various kinds activities, such as work, games, classes, and communication develops most of all in games. The development of communication in preschool children affects the nature of the games that children play. Communication is one of the basic human needs.

Communication of a preschooler with adults and peers varies. If the child accepts the point of view of an adult as it is, without double-checking and without doubting it, since the adult is a model for him, then when communicating with peers, the picture is completely different. The kid begins to evaluate the point of view of a peer, especially if it does not coincide with his own, and can change it, argue and seek to prove his case. From this we can conclude that it is communication with peers that gives the child a personal and, the opportunity to have their own point of view, the ability to defend it, the opportunity to make a moral choice. After all, it is by communicating with peers that the baby can feel like an equal partner. A child involuntarily compares himself with others, for him a peer is a kind of yardstick by which to evaluate himself.

The development of communication between preschool children and their peers has the following specific features. It gives the child the opportunity to take the initiative more often. This communication is more diverse than communication between a child and an adult, a baby can do what he would not do when communicating with adults, for example, invent new games. Importantly, this communication is more open, less regulated, and has a brighter emotional richness.

Although it cannot be said that communication with adults does not develop the baby. It is also of exceptional importance, especially during the first seven years of life, when the foundations of the child's personality are laid. The adult is the center of preference for the child. A significant adult makes objects attractive to the child, which he himself prefers. Seeing how an adult treats them, the child also tends to prioritize. When communicating with adults, especially with parents, the baby learns the world through mastering objective activities, learns to use household appliances, a spoon and fork, a comb and a toothbrush, as well as to wash, dress and eat on his own. Manipulating various items, the baby learns to be independent, independent, which brings freedom to his actions.

The development of communication of preschool children is designed to develop the child's contacts with other people. It is caused, in many respects, by the need of the child, because in the absence of communication a person experiences very difficult experiences, such as rejection and loneliness, and being in the circle of his friends and people who understand him, he is able to find himself, his place in life. Communication is a reciprocal, mutual activity, which involves the opposite orientation of partners, and in it both communication with adults and interaction with peers are of great importance for development.

At preschool age, the child's world is no longer limited to the family. Significant people for him now are not only mom, dad or grandmother, but also other children, peers. And as the baby grows older, contacts and conflicts with peers will be more important for him. In almost every kindergarten group, a complex and sometimes dramatic scenario of children's interpersonal relationships unfolds. Preschoolers make friends, quarrel, reconcile, get offended, jealous, help each other, and sometimes do small “dirty things”. All these relationships are acutely experienced by the child and are colored by a mass of various emotions. .

Research N.I. Ganoshchenko and I.A. Zalysin showed that in a state of arousal, children visually twice, and with the help of speech three times more often turned to a peer than to an adult. In communication with peers, the treatment of older preschoolers becomes more emotional than in contacts with adults. Preschoolers actively reach out to their peers for a variety of reasons.

Emotional tension and conflict in children's relationships is much higher than among adults. Parents and educators are sometimes unaware of the richest range of feelings and relationships that their children experience, and, naturally, they do not attach much importance to children's friendships, quarrels, and insults. .

Meanwhile, the experience of the first relationships with peers is the foundation on which the further development of the child's personality is built. It depends on the style of communication, on the position among peers, how much the child feels calm, satisfied, to what extent he learns the norms of relations with peers. This first experience largely determines a person's attitude towards himself, towards others, towards the world as a whole, and it is by no means always positive. In many children already at preschool age, a negative attitude towards others is formed and consolidated, which can have very sad long-term consequences. In the communication of children, relationships develop very quickly, in which preferred and rejected peers appear. "For the joy of communication" the child spends a lot of energy on feelings associated with the success of identification and the suffering of alienation.

To identify problems in interpersonal relationships in time and help the child overcome them is the most important task of parents. Adult help should be based on understanding psychological reasons that underlie certain problems in the interpersonal relationships of children. . Exactly internal causes cause a stable conflict of the child with peers, lead to his objective or subjective isolation, make the baby feel lonely - and this is one of the most difficult and destructive experiences of a person. The timely identification of an internal conflict in a child requires from adults not only attention and observation, but also knowledge psychological characteristics and patterns of development of children's communication.

Communication with peers is a tough school of social relations.

By the age of 6-7, the attitude towards peers of the same age again changes significantly in children. At this time, the child is capable of extra-situational communication, in no way connected with what is happening here and now. Children tell each other about where they have been and what they have seen, share their preferences or plans, evaluate the qualities and actions of other children. At this age, communication is already possible between them in the usual sense of the word for us, that is, not related to games and toys. Children can simply talk for a long time (which they did not know how to do at a younger preschool age), without making any practical action. . The relationship between them also changes significantly. By the age of 6, the friendliness and emotional involvement of the child in the activities and experiences of peers increases significantly. Often older preschoolers carefully observe the actions of their peers and are emotionally included in them. Quite often, even contrary to the rules of the game, they seek to help the same age, tell him the right move. If four-five-year-old children, following an adult, willingly condemn the actions of their peers, then six-year-olds, on the contrary, defend a friend or can even support his “opposition” to an adult. At the same time, the competitive, competitive beginning in the communication of children is preserved.

However, along with this, older preschoolers develop the ability to see in a partner not only his toys, mistakes or successes, but also his desires, preferences, moods. Children of this age not only talk about themselves, but also ask their peers questions: they are interested in what he wants to do, what he likes, where he was, what he saw. These naive questions reflect the emergence of a disinterested, personal attitude towards another person. By the age of six, many children have a desire to help a peer, give or give him something. Malevolence, envy, competitiveness appear less frequently and not as sharply as at the age of five. Sometimes children are already able to empathize with both the successes and failures of their peers. Such emotional involvement in the actions of peers indicates that peers become for the child not only a means of self-affirmation and comparison with themselves, not only preferred partners. Interest in a peer comes to the fore as a valuable person, important and interesting, regardless of her achievements and the objects that she possesses. Parents, of course, should support their children in such an attitude towards their peers, teach them by personal example to care for others and take children's attachments seriously.

Also, by the age of 6-7, preschool children significantly increase their friendliness towards peers and the ability to help each other. . Of course, the competitive, competitive beginning persists for life. However, along with this, in the communication of older preschoolers, the ability to see in a partner not only his situational manifestations: what he has and what he does, but also some psychological aspects of the partner’s existence: his desires, preferences, moods. Preschoolers now not only talk about themselves, but also turn to their peers with questions: what he wants to do, what he likes, where he was, what he saw, etc. An interest in the personality of a peer is awakened, not related to his specific actions.

By the age of 6, many children have significantly increased emotional involvement in the activities and experiences of their peers. It is important for children what and how the other child does (what he plays, what he draws, what books he watches), not in order to show that I am better, but just because this other child becomes interesting in itself. Sometimes, even contrary to accepted rules, they seek to help another, suggest the correct move or answer. If 4-5-year-old children willingly, following an adult, condemn the actions of their peers, then 6-year-old boys, on the contrary, can unite with a friend in their “opposition” to an adult, defend or justify him. For example, when an adult negatively assessed one boy (or rather, his construction from a designer), another boy defended his friend: “He knows how to build well, he just hasn’t finished yet, just wait, and he will do well.” .

All this testifies to the fact that the thoughts and actions of older preschoolers are aimed not only at a positive assessment of an adult and not only at emphasizing their own advantages, but also directly at another child, in order to make him feel better.

Many children are already able to empathize with both the successes and failures of their peers. So, for example, they rejoice when the educator in kindergarten praises their comrade, and gets upset or tries to help when something does not work out for him. A peer, therefore, becomes for the child not only a means of self-affirmation and an object of comparison with himself, not only a preferred partner, but also a valuable person, important and interesting, regardless of his achievements and his toys.

Children become interested in what the other child experiences and prefers. A peer is now not only an object for comparison with oneself and not only a partner in an exciting game, but also a valuable, significant human personality with its own experiences and preferences. .

In older preschool age, children are increasingly doing something specifically for their peers in order to help him or somehow make him better. They themselves understand this and can explain their actions. It is very important that children think not only about how to help their peers, but also about his moods and desires; they sincerely want to bring joy and pleasure. Friendship begins with such attention to a comrade, with care for him.

At the older preschool age, the attitude towards peers becomes more stable, independent of the specific circumstances of the interaction. They care most about their friends, prefer to play with them, sit next to the table, go for a walk, etc. Friends tell each other about where they have been and what they have seen, share their plans or preferences, evaluate qualities and the actions of others. .

Thus, a six-year-old child is dominated by the highest form of communicative activity - extra-situational-personal communication. First, a striking characteristic of peer communication lies in its extreme emotional richness. The contacts of preschoolers are characterized by increased emotionality and looseness, which cannot be said about the interaction of a baby with an adult. If a child usually speaks relatively calmly with an adult, then conversations with peers are usually characterized by sharp intonations, screaming, and laughter. On average, in peer communication, there are 9-10 times more expressive-mimic manifestations expressing various emotional states- from furious indignation to violent joy, from tenderness and sympathy - to a fight. The second important feature of children's contacts is their non-standard and unregulated nature. If in communication with an adult, even the smallest children adhere to certain norms of behavior, then when interacting with their peers, preschoolers behave at ease. Their movements are characterized by a special looseness and naturalness: children jump, take bizarre poses, grimace, squeal, run after each other, mimic each other, invent new words and come up with fables, etc. Third distinguishing feature peer communication - the predominance of initiative actions over reciprocal ones. Communication involves interaction with a partner, attention to him, the ability to hear him and respond to his proposals.

These features are typical for children's contacts throughout the entire preschool age (from 3 to 6-7 years).