Who are the victims of bullying? Eternal Bully: Do those who bully others change with age?

In psychology, this term means moral, physical terror, intimidation, in order to arouse fear in another person and achieve his submission. The problem is especially acute in adolescence due to the complexity and inconsistency of the characteristics of personality development in adolescence. Today the word "bullying" has a sociological, psychological character and has become an international term actively used by educators and psychotherapists.

Types of bullying

This phenomenon differs from the conflict by the inequality of the forces of the participants. At the same time, the victim is weaker than the aggressor, and terror is of a long-term nature. The outcast experiences physical and psychological torment. According to foreign statistics, educational institutions up to 50% of students experience bullying: for some, these are isolated cases, for the rest - ongoing bullying.

The results of Russian studies in schools conducted in 2010 showed that 21% of girls and 22% of boys become victims of psychological violence from the age of 11. For adolescents aged 15, the figures are 12-13%. Psychologists distinguish several types of bullying:

• physical;
• behavioral;
• cyberbullying;
• verbal aggression.

Physical

Manifested by beatings, deliberate self-mutilation (hitting, kicking, pushing, causing bodily harm). An example of physical bullying is the public pulling of a toddler's pants on a playground. Many children do not tell their parents about the incident, so it is important to watch for possible warning signs and indirect signs - unexplained abrasions, bruises, scratches, torn clothes.

If you suspect that your child is being abused, start a casual conversation with him: ask how things are at school, what happened at recess or on the way home. Listen to the child's answers, find out if anyone behaved abusively towards him. At the same time, you should restrain your own emotions, emphasize the importance of such confidential conversations with you, teachers, and a school psychologist.

Write down the dates and times of bullying incidents, the reaction of the people involved, their actions (according to the child). Do not contact the parents of bullies to resolve the problem on their own. If physical abuse continues and additional assistance outside of school is needed, local law enforcement should be contacted. There are laws that punish bullying and harassment.

Verbal

This is ridicule, verbal bullying, insults, shouting or intimidation with cruel words. An example of verbal bullying is words about physical disabilities, name-calling, etc. Children who are subjected to verbal bullying, as a rule, withdraw into themselves, have problems with appetite, and become capricious. Some tell adults about hurtful words addressed to them, and ask if this is true.

It is important to teach children respect, to strengthen them in the idea that every person deserves a good relationship. Lead by example: thank teachers, praise friends, be polite to shop assistants. Talk to children about their strengths, praise. The best protection a parent can provide to a child is to strengthen their self-esteem, to give them independence to develop the ability to take action when needed. Discuss, practice constructive and safe ways to respond to the bully's words.

Behavioral

This is bullying using isolation tactics, suggesting that someone is not allowed to spend time together in a group, for example, a meal at a common table, a game, social activities, etc. be alone. Girls are more likely than boys to experience social isolation, emotional or non-verbal bullying.

mental suffering behavioral bullying can be just as strong as physical abuse, and last much longer. Parents should talk with their children about how their day went, help them find positive moments in everyone, focus on good qualities children, to convince them that there are people who love them and will always support them. You should focus on developing the child's talents, devote more time to his interests, whether it be sports, reading, art, so that he can build relationships outside of school.

Cyberbullying

The term refers to blaming someone using offensive words, lying, spreading false gossip through SMS, email, messages in in social networks. Racist, sexist and other messages create a hostile atmosphere. Abusive messages spread quickly and anonymously, leading to 24/7 cyberbullying, so it is important to establish rules for your child's use of the Internet.

Explain to the child that he should not participate and react to the words of offenders. If the situation gets worse, print provocative messages (you need to see the dates and times they were received). The next step is to report the cyberbullying to the school and the ISP. If the messages are threatening or sexually explicit, please contact your local law enforcement.

Social bullying at school

Participants in bullying are always three groups of students - the aggressor (instigator), outcast and observers. The persecution is started by one person, as a rule, the leader in the class, an excellent student, or, conversely, a loser who is prone to aggressiveness. Observers often do not enjoy bullying, but are forced to either turn on or remain silent under the influence of fear that they themselves may be in the role of a victim.

More courageous, confident schoolchildren resist the aggressor, standing up for the outcast, but the passive support of bullying by adults forces them to retreat. The victim is left alone with the tormentors. The object of bullying can be any person who at some point will be in more weak position or cross someone's path. More often, school bullying is observed among children who are somewhat different from their peers: academic success, physical data (appearance features), material capabilities, character.

About half of the aggressors themselves have previously been under pressure or are currently being tortured in their own family. The identity of the persecutor is formed under the influence of abusive parents who allow domestic violence. Boys who are beaten by their father, or who watch how he mocks their mother, having come to school, will recoup on less strong students.

Punishments, insults due to low grades, deprivation of walks / sweets, and the creation of a strict training regimen can serve as a cause of psychological violence. At the same time, the child adopts this model of behavior and behaves aggressively within the walls of the school. At the same time, he will begin to act against rivals, exposing them to humiliation, ridicule, and physical violence. For weaker students, such aggressors feel contempt, so they do not touch them.

How does it manifest

To understand the signs of this phenomenon, you need to know what bullying is. It is psychoactive violence that inflicts psychological trauma through threats or verbal abuse, intimidation, harassment that intentionally causes emotional insecurity. Forms of aggression towards the victim can be the following:

• verbal violence, the instrument of which is the voice (name-calling, teasing, offensive nicknames, spreading offensive rumors);
• extortion (food, money, things, coercion to steal something);
• offensive actions, gestures (spitting, etc.);
• intimidation through aggressive body language or intonation to force the victim to do or not do something);
• damage or other actions with property (robbery, theft, hiding things);
• isolation (ignoring, expulsion from the team).

Reasons for bullying

The victim of bullying experiences physical and psychological pain. The reasons for aggressive behavior towards the child are in two planes:

1. environment and family. Schoolchildren copy the behavioral model from their parents, a society dominated by the principles of brute force. The backyard ethic, films filled with cruelty, disrespectful treatment of the weak by adults teach children certain ways of interacting with others.
2. School. Some low-qualified teachers deliberately give rise to bullying themselves, because they are not able to cope with manifestations of aggression in children's groups. In their incompetence, they go so far as to give students nicknames themselves and insult them in front of the class. The team broadcasts its disrespectful attitude towards such students through tone, gestures.

Bullying doesn't happen in every classroom. Verbal, behavioral and physical abuse is possible only when the following factors coincide:

1. Defenselessness. It is important that no one fight back the aggressor, in an effort to protect the outcast, otherwise the persecution will quickly stop. If the younger guys are beaten by the older ones, while no one reacts, bullying will be repeated in the future. Physically weak boys are also attacked by stronger classmates. With a harsh reaction to what is happening on the part of the elders (teachers, parents), psychological violence will end. In this regard, when choosing a victim, the aggressors consistently destroy the sympathy of those around them, making it a convenient target for ridicule and physical violence.
2. Unwillingness to stand up for oneself, helplessness. The instigators are cowards, therefore, weaker guys are often chosen for attacks, who will definitely not be able to answer the offenders. The victim is not ready to fight back because of the superiority of forces, the fear of getting even more aggression in response, or because he does not want to be "bad". Some students don't defend themselves because of their parents' attitude that they shouldn't fight. Such guys need to be persuaded, saying that it is not only possible, but also necessary, to defend yourself.
3. Low self-esteem. The victim, as a rule, suffers from dissatisfaction with himself, feels guilty. This is especially pronounced in schoolchildren who have certain developmental features - hyperactivity, stuttering, attention deficit disorder. The risk zone includes children who are not supported by relatives, from families where there is no trusting relationship.
4. social, psychological problems. Depression, loneliness, lack of communication skills, social disadvantage, an inferiority complex, violence in one's own family are prerequisites for becoming a victim. Sensitivity, suspiciousness, fearfulness and anxiety are individual character traits that make the child defenseless and attractive to the aggressor.
5. Increased aggressiveness. Sometimes cocky, painfully and emotionally responsive to requests or comments, children become outcasts. At the same time, aggressiveness is reactive in nature and develops due to high excitability and defenselessness.

Psychological portrait of bullying participants

In a bullying situation, there must be a clear distribution of roles. There are always victims, instigators and persecutors - the main part of the children, which, under the guidance of the aggressors, carries out persecution. Often there are also neutral observers in the class, who in essence do not differ from the persecutors, since by their inaction they encourage psychological violence, but do not prevent it in any way.

Occasionally, there are defenders among peers, which can radically change the situation (especially if there are several such children or they have authority in the class). Most of the persecutors leave the victim alone and the conflict ends. Often the defender himself becomes an outcast, for example, if, at the direction of a teacher, a child is forced to sit at the same desk with an outcast, he may eventually turn into an object of bullying himself.

The instigators, as a rule, are 1-2 students who for some reason did not like someone among their classmates. They begin to ridicule, tease, bully, defiantly avoid this child. The process of bullying begins almost immediately after the formation of the team - already in the first grade. As a rule, the boy becomes the aggressor, but the girl instigator is also rare. In the latter case, the other girl is often attacked. Persecution is based on the desire to assert itself and stand out on general plan.

Very rarely bullying is the result of personal revenge. Norwegian psychologist Dan Olveus identified the following traits inherent in the initiator of school bullying:

• Availability physical strength;
• easy excitability, impulsiveness, irascibility, manifestations of anger;
• inability to sympathize with outcasts;
• narcissism (narcissistic complexes), the desire to be the center of attention;
• imbalance, weak self-control;
• high level claims;
• confidence in superiority over the victim;
• reluctance to compromise.

Such a child-aggressor is sure that with the help of leadership, the suppression of others will be able to achieve their goals more easily. The instigator of bullying can be a student who:

• claims power, wants to dominate the class;
• possesses communication skills, behaves actively;
• behaves aggressively;
• accustomed to treating others with a sense of his own superiority;
• strives at all costs to be in the spotlight;
• is an egocentric, incapable of empathy with others;
• divides everyone into “strangers” and “friends” (such snobbery or chauvinism is the result of family upbringing that forms hostility towards others);
• is a maximalist who does not compromise (especially this trait is inherent in adolescents).

One or more people become the instigators of bullying, the rest are their followers, who either actively participate in bullying or ignore what is happening. The reasons why kind and responsive to their loved ones children become tyrants for an innocent peer are:

1. "Herd" feeling. The student does not analyze what is happening, but simply participates in the general fun. It does not occur to him what the victim of bullying feels at this moment.
2. The desire to earn the favor of the class leader.
3. Boredom. For them, bullying is entertainment on a par with playing ball, tag, etc.
4. Fear of being in the same position.
5. Striving for self-assertion. Some children take revenge for their failures in something. Often they are bullied in the yard, offended by elders, they do not arouse sympathy among classmates or are not successful in their studies.

Most children who actively or passively support psychological abuse have common features. The common characteristics of child stalkers are as follows:

• lack of independence, dependence on the influence of others, lack of initiative;
• conformism (the desire to follow current rules, standards);
• lack of a sense of responsibility (the tendency to blame others for what is happening);
• susceptibility to strict control by parents, elders;
• self-centeredness, inability to empathize, to predict the consequences of one's own behavior;
• self-doubt, feeling of powerlessness;
• cowardice, malice.

Outcasts often become children who are not able to stand up for themselves, hypersensitive. At the same time, such children are not only incapable of aggressive behavior to fight for their safety, they cannot demonstrate confidence and defend their interests. A likely victim of bullying is a student trying to pretend that he is not offended or offended by cruelty. At the same time, his face betrays inner feelings - it turns red, becomes extremely tense, etc.

Children who do not know how to hide their defenselessness can provoke a repetition of the incident by the aggressor. Dan Olweus (American researcher) distinguishes 2 types of bullying victims:

1. Children who cannot hide their own weakness (physically weak, insecure, overly emotional, anxious).
2. Children who involuntarily cause a negative attitude towards themselves (reacting too violently to provocations, unpleasant in communication due to sloppiness or other bad habits, causing dislike of adults).

Bullying at work

AT Western countries this concept defines situations in which an employee is subjected to psychological pressure and physically infringed by his colleagues. At the same time, circumstances can be so critical that a person becomes an object of harassment for all the people around him at work. The instigators of bullying, as a rule, pursue the goal of instilling fear in a colleague in order to subdue him.

Often, only a petty quarrel with someone belonging to the “pride” is enough for the team to dislike one employee. After a couple of days of conflict, everything may look normal and calm, but, as a rule, this is a deceptive feeling and passions in the group are heating up. Over time, conflicts become more frequent, reaching the point that hostility on the part of the team becomes irreversible.

Another scenario of emotional bullying unfolds during a time of general tension (before reporting, when the company's performance is declining, etc.). At the same time, employees need a “scapegoat”, which, as a rule, becomes the most calm, stress-resistant person. The reason for bullying is the envy or personal dislike of the instigator towards him. Despite the fact that today there are many programs for the protection of the rights of workers, bullying continues to develop in most workplaces. There are several reasons for this:

• ignoring conflicts in the team on the part of the authorities;
• non-recognition of bullying as an official violation in the workplace;
• silence of the victim (she herself often hides the unethical behavior of colleagues from her superiors because of shame or moral depression).

Among ordinary employees

When bullying against one employee, the whole group takes up arms. This manifests itself in different ways: for example, they “accidentally” forget to hand over important papers to an outcast, or, again, “not on purpose” spoil personal belongings, interfere with the performance of official duties, etc. Bullying involves bullying an employee by one specific person with whom he has equal rights, or is subordinate to him.

Manifestations of psychological violence differ and depend on the collective itself and the characteristics of the victim. However, the essence of the actions of the aggressors in bullying practically comes down to mocking the outcast and forcing him to quit his job. In case of illiterate conduct of personnel policy or work with violations labor law bullying can also begin: employees are tempted to shift their responsibilities to a more vulnerable, defenseless colleague.

For example, you will be illegally charged with additional work without an increase in wages, and the demand from you will be increased. As a result, in the eyes of the authorities, the victim of bullying may soon turn out to be an “insolvent” employee. Often office bullying starts simply because employees are bored. In this case, a person with a mild character, unable to fight back, becomes a victim.

Bullying of subordinates by superiors

Psychological violence at work is a common problem that is difficult to solve. Sometimes the leader becomes the instigator of bullying. Coming to work, the employee is forced to interact / intersect daily with the manager, who regularly humiliates and insults the staff. Due to the fact that the manager has the authority to dismiss the employee under the article or deprive him of the bonus, no one dares to protect the outcast, and the victim herself silently endures bullying.

If a subordinate has an alternative job or is on good terms with higher-ranking company leaders, he can afford to fight back a boor. However, the response often does not bring the satisfaction that the victim expected. If a person is prone to suspiciousness and has a fine mental organization, he feels resentment, stiffness and discomfort for a long time, remembering public insults and harassment.

Forms and methods

The main difference between bullying and ordinary conflicts at work is the persistence and duration of bullying (as a rule, it lasts from a couple of weeks to several years). There are other signs that indicate that a war has been unleashed against you. These include:

• boycott by the team (not invited to joint events, avoid your company);
• disrespectful treatment, ridicule;
• regular criticism (petty or not containing specifics);
• sneaky dirty tricks (damage, hiding property);
• insults, threats;
• slander, dissolving unpleasant gossip;
• hiding important information, delaying its transfer to you;
• ignoring successes, inflating small failures to large scales;
• loading cases that do not fall within your competence;
• creation of obstacles for solving work issues;
• blocking suggestions, ideas coming from you;
• frank rudeness, assault (in extreme cases).

Consequences of bullying

To avoid serious consequences of harassment, it is necessary not only to punish the instigators, but also to find out the reasons for the start of this process. If the outcast can find out what motivates employees in their desire to mock him, the situation will be easier to control. As a result of psychological pressure, not only the victim suffers, but also the aggressor himself, as well as observers.

For the victim

Bullying negatively affects all participants in the process, but worst of all it affects the victim. The object of ridicule over time becomes:

• apathetic, depressed;
• closed;
• secretive;
• anxious;
• unsure.

Some outcasts are visited by thoughts of suicide, as the only way out of this difficult situation. Due to regular stress, the victim develops various mental disorders and deviations, she begins to get sick, and may suffer from anorexia, bulimia, and severe depression. In addition, objects of ridicule often experience sleep disturbances, physical exhaustion, hormonal disruptions, as a result of which they even end up in the hospital.

For the aggressor

Bullers tend to be people with low self-esteem who have also been subjected to psychological abuse in the past. They are driven by the desire to assert themselves at the expense of others. Bully students, according to statistics, in the future are associated with crime and have problems with the law. Adults who bully others may develop psychosomatic illness and depression. In advanced cases, bullies exhibit behavioral disorders and antisocial behavior.

For observers

Eyewitnesses are all those who see the mockery of the outcast and do not react to it. Regardless of non-interference in the process, observers are usually impressed by what they see, but often feel fear or helplessness, so they cannot stop psychological violence in the team. Observers may be tormented by feelings of guilt due to inaction or because they too participated in the bullying. The consequence is an alienated, cold atmosphere in the team.

How to resist psychological and physical aggression

The victim of ridicule needs to first understand the situation: analyze why this is happening. The easiest way to end the bullying is to quit, but without finding out the reasons for the bullying, there is a risk of being again in the place of an outcast in a new team. In the presence of moral strength, it is better to stay at the same place of work and fight for your own dignity. Psychologists offer several effective ways dealing with the problem:

1. Prove to your superiors that you are irreplaceable and highly qualified. Work in such a way that management does not have a reason to be dissatisfied with you as a professional. Carefully analyze each situation in order to notice the “planted pig” in a timely manner.
2. Ignore all taunts. Stay confident in the team, communicate politely, while it is important to restrain yourself so as not to stoop to reciprocal insults or hairpins.
3. Don't let the situation take its course. You should not be silent when they frankly wipe their feet about you. Tolerance and a weak position will not pity the aggressors, but will turn them even more against you. It is also impossible to shout and hysteria, it is better to express yourself firmly, with dignity and as correctly as possible.
4. Talk to the instigator of the bullying. A sincere dialogue can quickly return the situation to a peaceful course.
5. Try to rally like-minded people around you. If the majority of employees are on your side, the bullying will stop.

Every action and word must be considered, it is important for the victim to remain calm and confident in order to maintain a strong position. If you manage to prove your own efficiency, professionalism and not break down under the circumstances, you will win the respect of your colleagues. Coming out of the role of a victim, you will gain excellent experience, learn to stand up for yourself in any situation.

Video

Signs of a victim compared to a bully

(based on research conducted in Anglo-Saxon countries)

Innenministerium Baden-Württemberg u.a. (Hrsg.): Herausforderung Gewalt aus pädagogischer Sicht. Stuttgart 1999, S. 26.

Victims	bullers
personality traits
Fearfulness, awkwardness, low self-esteem or feelings of inferiority, physical weakness; likes to be at home and enjoys good family relationships; shyness, lack of sociability, difficulties in communication, when attacked, reacts with a cry, ... ALTHOUGH ANY PERSON CAN BECOME A VICTIMISE IN CERTAIN CIRCUMSTANCES (ACTIVE, CAPABLE OF PROTECTING YOURSELF, ETC.)	Aggressive towards their parents, teachers, brothers, sisters, peers; believes in his strength; is popular with the opposite sex ("macho"); shows independence, considers himself "cool" and is more popular than the victim; believes that the victim deserved punishment; practically does not feel shame and guilt; not prone to empathy; good feeling humor, a good "orator", lies confidently, has artistry, he believes in what he says.
A family
overly guarded; depends on the family, close ties with the family, but also has more family problems than those who are not bullied.	Lack of family supervision; insufficient cordial and empathic relationship between the family and the bully; inconsistent exercise of control and attempts to instill discipline on the part of the family; punishments in case of misconduct are sometimes too strong, sometimes they are absent at all; much more problems in the family than those who are not subject to bullying.
Physical factors
Physically weak, unable to defend himself; not enough energy, younger and smaller than a buller; not attractive enough...	Strong and strong physique; sports; good at sports; energetic and active; slightly sensitive to pain; older and stronger than the victim; outwardly attractive.

How does the victim of bullying feel?

The main problem victim is that her self-consciousness is constantly under pressure. This can result in an inferiority complex.

At first, the victim feels a little insecure, but gradually begins to doubt her strengths, capabilities and abilities more and more, she is also afraid to be in trouble. unpleasant situation. it always seems to the victim that the guys, the household constantly want to humiliate her, and also show her uselessness and uselessness.

A person begins to fear that if he were not like that, then the guys would treat him differently. There is also a fear that if you move to another school, then this will not happen again. The victim believes that she will not be able to do anything well. The immediate implication of all this is that the victim begins to consider himself a bad person, and also admits that those who downplay her are, in fact, right.

Such thoughts have a very strong effect on self-consciousness, self-awareness and self-esteem of a person. So, talking with a person who feels that the whole world is against him, you can notice his unfriendliness, alertness, unkind behavior, constant fear and manifestation of aggression.

Usually classmates do not like such a person, they constantly turn away from him, the desire to communicate with him disappears. Yes, and he makes a bad impression.

This kind of problem is typical for many victims of bullying, as the victim is constantly in a stressful situation. a person feels insecure, he expects dirty tricks from everyone, everyone is an enemy and an offender for him. in order to protect himself from attacks and rudeness, a person himself begins to be rude.

The victim of bullying does not expect understanding and friendliness. Their behavior is the result of such an attitude towards them. Only if this is understood, then it is possible to try to find a common language with such people. However, this is very difficult.

Provocative features of the victim. This category includes a rather heterogeneous group of children who have certain personality traits. The presence of these features can act as an annoying factor for the majority of conditionally tolerant peers.

Actually here we are talking about the phenomenon of "otherness" in children's groups. An “unusual” way of speaking, an “unusual” laughter of a child, “unusual” humor from the point of view of “ordinary” schoolchildren can be a sufficient reason to treat “these unusual” negatively. As a provoking factor for the onset of the manifestation of bullying, there may be the careless behavior of such children, which does not carry malicious intent. So, a hyperactive child can accidentally hurt a "calm" classmate. In such groups, there is an overwhelming majority of adolescents with an accentuation of character, children who have cognitive and behavioral disorders of residual organic origin, neurotic children and children with disorders of the schizoid circle.

Stigmatization are racial and physical features child. Physical features include not only physical abnormalities such as cleft palate or sensorineural hearing loss, but also certain phenotypic features. As an example, we can note the unusual timbre of the voice, the red hair color, the shape of the auricles. For children, such features can act as an incentive for bullying.

The victim can be helped if:

• Together with other students, make a list of statements that clearly express opposition to bullying and post this list in the classroom (or throughout the school).
• AT role play act out the situations of bullying that have taken place and practice to behave in them calmly, but confidently.
• Teach the victim, while looking in the mirror, calmly and confidently say "no" or "leave me alone." Thus, the bully, looking for signs of weakness in the victim, receives a decisive rebuff.
• Help him learn to walk with an upright, radiant confidence, instead of slouching, looking around fearfully, etc. When a buller is looking for and choosing his prey, body language is of great importance. The victim sends non-verbal signals to the buller, telling him: "I am weak and cannot protect myself."
• Using humor: It is very difficult to harass a person who does not want to take this bullying seriously.
• Recommend, if possible, to be in a group of other children or in the vicinity of a patronizing high school student.
• Assure him that he, as a victim of bullying, is not to blame for it.
• Making it clear to a child who has become a victim of bullying that they love him. Very often, these children do not believe that they are able to please someone.
• Helping to get rid of bad habits that contributed to bullying (for example, the habit of picking your nose, snitching, throwing other children's things off the desk, etc.).
• Support them strengths. You can, for example, give such a student some kind of assignment in the class (for example, to maintain the operation of a video projector), which he would do well in order to increase his self-respect and recognition from other children.

(Vgl. Siegrun Boiger / Jens Müller-Kent: Mobbing in der Grundschule).

Bullying -

causes, form, prevention.

What is bulling?

bullying- (from the English bully - bully, fighter, bully, rude, rapist) - harassment, harassment, discrimination. In more broad sense- this is special kind violence, when one person (or group) physically attacks or threatens another, physically and morally weaker person (or group of persons). Bullying differs from a random fight in the systematic and regular repetitions.

Bullying at school is systematic Negative influence on a student by his classmate or group of children. The word itself is English, its literal translation means "fighter, rapist, hooligan." Denotes the term group or individual terror. The degree of violence may vary. Mild to severe, with physical injury and suicide. The first definition in relation to bullying is rather conditional, since any moral and physical bullying has serious delayed consequences.

Who is involved in bullying?

Bullying involves not only children, but also teachers. That is, both children and teachers can become victims of bullying, and both adults and children can act as bullies. In many ways, the development of bullying is facilitated by upbringing in the family, the attitudes that are brought up in children from infancy; as well as the development of bullying contributes to the microclimate of the educational institution where children go to get an education.

Features and types of bullying at school.

Insulting the honor and dignity of a person can be very different - this is physical, emotional, sexual and other types of violence. AT recent times in the teenage environment, the so-called cyberbullying has become widely used - attacks with the aim of causing psychological harm, which are carried out through the means of electronic technologies - e-mail, instant messaging services, chats, social networks, websites, as well as through mobile communications.
Children are quite violent by nature. They have not yet developed mechanisms to restrain emotions. This is especially true for teenagers. If they disliked one of the class, the latter will have a hard time. Sometimes parents have no choice but to change schools.
Russian studies of bullying at school show that 22% of boys and 21% of girls become victims of bullying as early as eleven years of age. For adolescents aged 15, these figures are 13 and 12%, respectively.
There are several types of bullying:

Physical. It is manifested by beatings, sometimes even intentional.

self-mutilation.Beating, punching, slapping, cuffing, kicking.

Behavioral. This is a boycott, gossip (spreading deliberately false rumors,

exposing the victim in an unfavorable light), ignoring, isolation in the team, intrigue, blackmail, extortion, creating trouble (they steal personal items, spoil the diary, notebooks).

verbal aggression. Expressed in constant ridicule, jokes,

insults, shouting and even curses.

Cyberbullying. The latest, but very popular among teenagers.

It manifests itself in bullying using social networks or sending insults to an email address. This includes filming and posting an unsightly video to the public.

Bullying differs from conflict by the inequality of the forces of the participants. The victim is always much weaker than the aggressor, and terror has a long-term character. The one who is bullied experiences psychological and physical torment.

The main causes of bullying at school. There are a number of factors that contribute to the flourishing of bullying in children's groups. In many ways, the development of this phenomenon is facilitated by family upbringing and the microclimate of the educational institution where children go to receive education.

Adults in the school may inadvertently or otherwise engage in, provoke or facilitate bullying by:

humiliating a student who fails/does well academically or is vulnerable in other ways.

making negative or sarcastic remarks about a student's appearance or background.

frightening and threatening gestures or expressions.

privileged treatment of ingratiating students.

insulting students with humiliating, and sometimes even obscene words.

Bullying can also be promoted by:

The presence of a recognized "leader" in the class;

The emergence of an acute conflict between two students under the influence

external reasons that are provoking factors for the aggressor (buller);

The unwillingness of teachers, due to their ignorance, to take responsibility for resisting the power-hungry behavior of students;

Lack of control on the part of teachers over the behavior of students during breaks.

In addition to adult behavior that encourages bullying to flourish in the school environment, there are a number of factors that can trigger the development of bullying among children:

Low level of education;

Inadequate low self-esteem;

High impulsiveness;

Abuse of alcohol, drugs, computer games.

Decreased sense of self-preservation in the child;

Intrapersonal aggressiveness of the student, depending on individual characteristics;

Desire to dominate others;

Previous experience of the life of schoolchildren, including manifestations of their own aggressiveness and observations of similar manifestations in the immediate environment;

absenteeism and poor school performance;

Change of caregivers (stepfather, stepmother), the appearance of a second child in the family;

Family and sexual violence;

intra-family conflicts;

Low socio-economic status of the family.

Exaggerated requirements for academic performance, which do not always correspond to the abilities and capabilities of the child;

Hyper-custody or indifference on the part of parents;

Early sexual contacts;

Drives to the police and early conviction.

The onset of the phase of puberty of a child leads not only to the emergence of problems of a physiological and psychological nature, but also to the development of critical thinking, which makes it possible to question the actions of adults and protest against their morality. Performance problems and labeling (teachers and parents say that the child is incorrigible, poorly educated, or stupid). For underachieving students, aggressive behavior is one of the means by which they compensate for their underachievement.

Purpose of bullying- behind aggressive behavior to hide their inferiority.

Bullying has nothing to do with managing a team if it is used by adults, since a good administrator (teacher) manages and leads the team, a bad one poisons. Therefore, anyone who chooses bullying as a method, whether an adult or a child, shows his inferiority, and the force with which a person poisons another determines the degree of inferiority of the tyrant.

Bullying is a disease of the collective. To remove it, it is necessary to radically rebuild relationships in the group and make them supportive and positive. Teachers simply do not know how to do this and, what to hide, they do not want to. Actually, as well as to completely eliminate the influence of the TV, the computer on the formation of the child's personality, parents either do not want or cannot.

Bullying motives are :

Envy;

Revenge (when the victims become bullies: punish for the pain and suffering caused);

feeling of dislike;

Power struggle;

Neutralization of an opponent by showing an advantage over him;

Self-affirmation up to the satisfaction of sadistic needs

individuals;

The desire to be the center of attention, to look cool;

The desire to surprise, amaze;

The desire to discharge, "pin";

Desire to humiliate, intimidate a disliked person.

The reasons for aggressive behavior towards one of the members of the class are in two planes:

Family and environment. Schoolchildren take an example of behavior from their parents and society, where the cult of brute force dominates. Endless gangster series on television, yard ethics, disrespect for the weak and sick on the part of adults teach children certain ways of behavior. An important role in the formation of personality is also played by computer games in which a child can kill and beat with impunity.

School. Teachers sometimes deliberately give rise to bullying themselves, because they do not know how to cope with manifestations of aggression in children's groups. Some teachers go so far as to invent nicknames for children and insult them in the presence of other classmates. Others communicate their disrespectful attitude towards poor students through tone and facial expressions. The widespread bullying at school is explained by the connivance of teachers and their low qualifications.

It's important to know! It would be a mistake to think that bullying is the problem of the victim. Violence in a group is always the problem of the group itself. One victim will leave, another will appear, it is possible that already from the former aggressors.

Psychological picture participants in bullying at school.
Three groups of children always take an active part in bullying: the victim, the aggressor and the observers. Bullying begins with one person, usually he is the leader in the class, successful in his studies, or, conversely, an aggressive ignoramus. Observers, as a rule, do not enjoy bullying, but are forced to either turn on or remain silent for fear that they themselves will be in the role of a victim. The more courageous of them come to the defense of the victim. But the passive non-resistance of the latter and the silent support of bullying on the part of adults makes them retreat. The victim finds himself face to face with his tormentors or the tormentor.

Victim of bullying at school.

Any person or child can become a victim of bullying or its milder form of mobbing. It is enough just to be in a weaker position or to cross someone's path. But most often, children who are somewhat different from their peers fall into the category of victims: physical data, academic success, material opportunities, even just character. In order to become victims of older children, this is not necessary either.
About 50% of school bullies are themselves tortured in the present. They are subject to obstruction and abuse in their own family. The boys who are beaten by the father, see how he mocks the mother, having come to school, will recoup on the weaker ones.
Domestic violence can also act as concern for the future. If a mother or father does not allow a child to pass because of grades, yells at him and insults him for poor results, deprives him of walks and sweets, creates a strict study regimen, leaving no time for rest, the child will behave the same way at school. But his aggression is directed more at his opponents. However, such children simply despise weaker students.
The process of bullying occurs only when the following factors coincide:

Defenselessness . It is important that no one defends the victim, otherwise bullying is very

will stop quickly. If the kids are beaten in the toilet by the older guys and no one reacts, the bullying will continue. Physically weak boys are also subject to increased attacks from stronger peers. But with a tough reaction from parents and teachers, cases of bullying will not happen again. Therefore, bullies act wisely: they either choose a defenseless victim, or consistently destroy the sympathy of others for her.

Unwillingness to fight to the death. Bullers are cowards. That is why they

they choose to attack the weaker ones, those who are guaranteed not to be able to answer. The victim does not rebuff the aggressor for several reasons: a clear preponderance of forces, fear of receiving even more aggression in response, or because he does not want to be “bad”. Some children are not defensive because of the parents' mindset that "fighting is bad." If they are persuaded and proved that it is possible and necessary to defend oneself, the situation becomes less tragic.

Low self-esteem. Dissatisfaction with oneself or

guilt. This is especially pronounced with children who really have certain developmental features: hyperactivity, attention deficit disorder, stuttering. In the risk zone are children who are not supported by the family, where there is no trusting relationship with relatives, the baby is left for the most part to himself and the street.

High aggressiveness . Sometimes the victims are cocky children,

emotionally and painfully reacting to any remark or request. Here, aggressiveness is reactive in nature and comes from high excitability and defenselessness.

Psychological and social problems. Loneliness, social

trouble, depression, inability to communicate with peers, an inferiority complex, a deep conviction in a negative picture of the world, violence in one's own family, passive submission to violence - these are the prerequisites for a child to become a victim at school. Shyness, anxiety, sensitivity and suspiciousness, as individual character traits, make the child defenseless, attract the aggressor.

Bullying aggressor at school.

Bullies (bullyers, offenders, aggressors, bullying organizers). These include pursuers who act on the orders of stronger aggressors in the class. The stalkers often have poor academic performance, absenteeism, fights, theft, alcohol and tobacco use. They are not stopped by rules, and they easily use violence to achieve their goal.

Often bullies become:

Children raised by single parents;

Children from families in which the mother has a negative attitude towards life;

Children from powerful and authoritarian families;

Children from conflict families;

Children with low resistance to stress;

Children with low academic achievement

Bullers are:

Active, sociable children who claim to be the leader in the class;

Aggressive children who use an unrequited victim for self-affirmation;

Children who want to be the center of attention;

Children are arrogant, dividing everyone into "us" and "strangers" (which is the result of appropriate family upbringing);

Maximalists unwilling to compromise;

Children with poor self-control who have not learned to take responsibility for their behavior;

Children not taught by others better ways behavior, i.e. not educated.

Bullers are characterized by:

Impulsiveness;

Irritability;

Emotional instability;

Heightened self-esteem;

Hostility (aggressiveness);

Lack of communication skills with external observance of generally accepted norms and rules;

Tendency to lie or cheat.

Quite often, a group of pursuers joins bullying, with whom the buller carries out his aggression. Who most often becomes pursuers, assistants to bullies:

Non-independent, easily influenced by others, lack of initiative children;

Children who always strive to follow the rules, certain standards (very diligent and law-abiding);

Children who are not inclined to admit their responsibility for what is happening (most often they consider others to be guilty);

Often subject to tight control by older children (their parents are very demanding and tend to use physical punishment).

Egocentric, unable to put themselves in the place of another (in conversations they often say: “I didn’t even think about it”);

Not self-confident, very valuing the "friendship", the trust shown by the leaders of the class;

Cowardly and embittered children.

A common feature of all bullies is outwardly pronounced narcissistic traits. Narcissists are self-centered but lack internal support. They need respect and support, but they don't get it from their parents. Often, such a child has a bad relationship with his mother, he can be brought up in a socially disadvantaged family. Therefore, they seek recognition from others through violence and terror.
In addition, bullers are characterized by:

Lack of balance, selfishness.

Short temper, impulsiveness and unrestrained character with excessive

inflated self-esteem. Any stimulus that might lower one's self-esteem is perceived as a personal threat and requires immediate action. Authority is raised not through personal achievement, but through the humiliation of others. Girls often act on the sly, inciting others. They are insensitive to the suffering of others and thus simply have fun. Sometimes bullying for them is a tool to fight rivals. In this case, the victim does not have to challenge explicitly. It is enough to be more beautiful and successful.

Excessive anger, hostility, desire to "scratch your fists." Attack

- always a fan of the cult of strength and violence, the law of the jungle is sacred to him.

Social norms and rules are vague and non-binding.

Feels contempt for the weaker. Physical development normal or above.

He solves all issues with the help of conflicts, shouting, blackmail, physical threats and beatings. Often lies. There are sadistic tendencies.

exalted position in society. Bullying girls have

high social prestige. They are confident in their appearance and have never felt embarrassed about not having something. Parents indulge all whims and often express contempt for others in the presence of the child. The attitude to the world is mercantile, to people - consumerist. Boys from wealthy families do not know refusal in anything, their parents turn a blind eye to all their tricks, preferring to pay off a solid sum than to spend time together. From childhood, a child gets used to the fact that everything is bought and sold, and any of his actions does not entail consequences, except for a slightly empty family account. Such children are most often called majors.

Bullying Witnesses - they are called "allies" or "spectators". They can

be both children and adults - technical staff or teachers who do not intervene when bullying occurs in front of them. Although eyewitnesses do not react, they are also affected by what they see: they often experience fear while at school, feel helpless because they cannot stop bullying, they may also feel guilty due to their inaction or because that they joined the Bullers. Bullying is contagious, it can be compared to a socially contagious disease. The audience is forced to choose between strength and weakness (the victims often look ridiculous and pathetic), and they don't really want to be associated with the weak. Viewers often do not feel personally responsible, as bullying provokes simply to act like everyone else.

Behavior of witnesses to bullying:

Children :

1. They have a fear of doing something similar to you, gloating about this (“Thank God, not me”), helplessness that you cannot help your neighbor, i.e. they are afraid of the consequences.

2. They feel the need to escape from the bullying situation, so as not to be drawn into it, so that it does not destroy their mental comfort.

3. They feel the urge to join the bullying.

Adults:

We are talking about the natural reactions of adults to the facts of bullying. They experience:

1. Indignation, indignation, desire to intervene immediately.

2. Fear, despair, powerlessness, what could be worse, and they don't know how to stop it.

3. Defensive ignorance of the facts. “I don’t see it”, “It doesn’t concern me”, “Let them figure it out themselves and those who are supposed to be responsible for them.”

4. Joining the aggressor. Experience of feelings of "righteous retribution" and "triumph of justice". “Finally, he (she) got what he deserved.” As a rule, teachers who have been traumatized by the long-term problematic behavior of their students may be prone to such reactions.

Consequences of bullying at school.
Like any external influence, the traumas suffered will necessarily affect later life. Moreover, one should not think that for the aggressor the manner of his behavior will go unpunished.

Consequences for the victim of bullying at school.

Bullying leaves a deep mark on the lives of victims and affects the emotional and social development, on school adaptation, can have severe psychological consequences. Children who have been bullied receive severe psychological trauma. It does not matter what kind of bullying took place - physical or psychological. Even after many years at trainings, people, remembering how they were bullied at school, often cry and talk about their very painful experiences. This is one of the strongest emotional traumas for a child. Therefore, the child needs to be helped.

Bullying affects not only the victim, but also the aggressor and the audience. Victims of bullying experience health and academic difficulties,

three times more likely than their peers to have symptoms of anxiety-depressive disorders, apathy, headaches and enuresis, make suicide attempts.

Being in the role of a victim of bullying, the child receives a huge amount of mental trauma, which inevitably affects his future life:

Mental disorders. Even a single case of bullying leaves a deep

an emotional scar that requires special work by a psychologist. The child becomes aggressive and anxious, which passes into adulthood. He has behavioral problems. They are more likely than others to be depressed and commit suicide.

Relationship difficulties. Chances of becoming a victim of mobbing at work

place in people who experienced bullying in childhood grow many times. World statistics say that adults who have suffered bullying in childhood, for the most part, remain alone for life, it is harder for them to climb the career ladder. Therefore, they are more likely than others to choose home-based or isolated work. They communicate more on social networks than in the real world.

Diseases. A close result of bullying is very often physical

ailments. There are cases when boys from stress and impotence began to have serious heart problems. Teenage girls are subject to another misfortune: ridicule and insults lead them to anorexia or bulimia. Sleep disorders and the development of trauma into psychosomatics are possible. For example, a teenager suffers from pain in the kidneys, but examinations and tests show nothing. The pain syndrome goes away only after the work of a psychologist.

The use of physical violence against children is just as criminally punishable as it is against adults. Bruises and abrasions can be fixed in the hospital, where their origin is recorded from the words of the child. The hospital is required to pass the information on to the police, and the police are required to respond. Buller's parents are called in for a conversation, and the school will have to explain how they allowed this situation to happen.

Signs by which you can suspect a child is a victim of bullying.

Most often, victims of bullying are silent about the fact that they are being bullied. The witnesses are also silent. Bullying can be recognized by the behavior, certain signs and mood of the child. The victim, as a rule, feels his defenselessness and oppression in front of the offender. This leads to a feeling of constant danger, fear of everything and everyone, a feeling of insecurity and, as a result, to a loss of self-respect and faith in own forces. In other words, the child - the victim becomes really defenseless against the attacks of hooligans. Extremely severe bullying can push the victim to commit suicide. In this regard, the surrounding close people need to show utmost attention to even a slight change in the behavior of the child.

All children react differently to bullying. When observing children suffering from bullying, their following features may be found:

Behavioral features bullying victims:

distance from adults and children;

negativism when discussing the topic of bullying;

0 aggressiveness towards adults and children.

Emotional features of the victim of bullying:

tension and fear when peers appear;

resentment and irritability;

sadness, sadness and unstable mood.

Signs of physical abuse of a child:

the child is lethargic, depressed, frightened;

the child regularly has bruises, abrasions, injuries, injuries;

the child shudders from the approach of the aggressor, or from sudden movements;

the child is aggressive towards people, animals, often fights;

the child is afraid to go to school, children's institution, circle.

Signs of bullying to alert teachers to:

The child suddenly becomes ill and does not go to school;

Unhappy appearance;

Lack of friends;

Nobody wants to sit at a desk with him;

The child is a constant object of jokes and humor;

The child's performance is declining.

The child often comes with torn things;

The child is not invited to birthday parties and no one approaches him;

The child says he has no one to ask homework when he comes to class with unlearned lessons;

At competitions, children say “not with him!”;

The child often spends time at recess alone.

Consequences for a bully at school. Bullying leaves a deep mark on the lives of victims and affects the emotional and social development, school adaptation, and can have severe psychological consequences. Children who have been bullied receive severe psychological trauma. It does not matter what kind of bullying took place - physical or psychological. Even after many years at trainings, people, remembering how they were bullied at school, often cry and talk about their very painful experiences. This is one of the strongest emotional traumas for a child. Therefore, the child needs to be helped.

Bullying affects not only the victim, but also the aggressor and the audience. Victims of bullying experience difficulties with health and academic performance, three times more often than their peers have symptoms of anxiety and depressive disorders, apathy, headaches and enuresis, and attempt suicide.

Adults who were victims of bullying as children show higher levels of depression and lower self-esteem, suffer from social anxiety, loneliness and anxiety, often suffer from depression in middle age and severe depression in adulthood.

School "aggressors" of bullying in adulthood may experience guilt, develop a high risk of falling into criminal gangs.

The aggressor suffers less from the consequences of bullying than the victim, but still this does not pass without a trace for him:

Unfavorable future. Primitive antisocial behaviors

stop working in the adult world, and bullies end up in the dustbin of life. While their victims, nerds and nerds, graduate from universities, get good jobs and a secure life, the road of their tormentors ends in a prison cell. At best, they vegetate in low-skilled, low-paid jobs and look with envy at their former schoolmates.

Relationship problems. Children who managed to combine bullying with

high social status, become dictators in the family and a real punishment at work. These are gossips and intriguers. They weave nets for more successful colleagues, sit up, trip up and go to their goal "over the corpses." Many of them achieve high results in their careers. Therefore, sooner or later they make mortal enemies, and the rest dislike and fear them.

Terror in the family. Even if already adult life they are successful then

those around them are uncomfortable. Having fun with other people's misfortunes remains their hobby for life. They do not know how to build warm relationships with children, with loved ones, often simply copying the behavior of their parents.

What to do in cases of bullying detection .

As practice shows, relations in the class largely depend on the tactics of behavior chosen by the teacher from the first days of working with the class. The teacher can not only prevent the emergence of a situation of rejection, but must also contribute to overcoming the stereotype of relations in the class that he inherited from his colleague. But he will need the help of a psychologist and parents in the fight against the division of the class into separate groups and the development of bullying.

In case of bullying in the classroom, you must:

Remain calm and control the situation in case of bullying in the class team.

Take the incident or story of bullying seriously.

Provide support to the victim.

Show the offender (aggressor, bully) your attitude to the situation.

Give the offender the opportunity to assess the situation from the point of view of the victim (i.e. put yourself in the place of the victim).

Discuss with a team of students and teachers the identified problem of bullying.

If necessary, involve the parent community.

1. From the very first day, any mockery of the failures of classmates should be stopped. An example of teacher tactics:

Petya answers at the blackboard, makes mistakes, or writes not very beautifully. A classmate maliciously comments on what happened, trying to draw the attention of the whole class, to cause laughter. It is necessary to express your attitude to this situation, saying that the failure of a comrade cannot be a reason for fun or gloating. We all learn, and everyone has the right to make mistakes. The mocker should make a stern remark.

2. Any disparaging remarks about classmates should be stopped. An example of teacher tactics:

The teacher seats the students at his own discretion, or forms teams. At the offer to sit down with Vasya, Misha exclaims: “I won’t be with him! Just not with him!” You need to stand your ground. And then talk to Misha alone, inquire about the reason for his refusal. Invite the child to take Vasya's place: "Will you be pleased if someone refuses to deal with you?"

3. If for some reason the child's reputation is damaged, you need to give him the opportunity to show himself in a favorable light. An example of teacher tactics:

With Vitya, a smart, well-read boy, in the first grade there was a nuisance - he peed himself in class. The guys began to tease him, did not want to play with him and sit next to him. The teacher began to ask Vita difficult questions, entrust responsible tasks with which he successfully coped. Soon the guys noticed how much Vitya knows, how interestingly he tells, and the unfortunate incident was gradually forgotten.

4. They help to unite the class through joint events, trips, performances, wall newspapers, etc.

5. It is necessary to give the most active children the opportunity to express themselves and assert themselves at the expense of their abilities, and not at the expense of humiliating others.

6. You should avoid making fun of and comparing children in the classroom. Some teachers do not even publicly announce grades for test papers, but put them in diaries. Analysis of mistakes must be done without naming those who made them, or individually.

7. It makes sense to talk to the stalkers about why they pester the victim, to draw their attention to the feelings of the victim. An example of teacher tactics:

The teacher gathered her fifth class in the absence of the looming outcast and discussed with them why they were all turning against him. drew their attention to him positive traits. And in conclusion, she asked the guys to answer the question in writing: “How can I help Slava?” It turned out that most of the guys have nothing against Slava, but stick to him out of habit.After the conversation, the attitude towards a classmate changed.

1. Start with a precise definition of bullying that is acceptable to your educational institution.

2. Establish forms of bullying that take place in your school.

3. Find out in what ways teachers, administrative workers, school students maintain their authority.

4. The organization of actions should be started after researching the problem of violence at school with the help of questionnaires, studying special literature and video recordings.

5. Discussion of the problem. It is necessary to conduct conversations with students, both individual and group.

6. Identify school staff behaviors that promote positive interpersonal relationships among students.

7. You can not lose sight of "offenders." Talk not only with the guilty, but with their parents, even if it is difficult to do so.

Working with companies of offenders.

When working with offenders, they need to be urgently and effectively exposed and try to separate them from a group of like-minded people.

Do not push for punishment, this will only strengthen the group solidarity of the offenders.

Working with one person, you need to skillfully use the power of confrontation of everything, for example, a cool community.

Help a child who has become a victim to solve the problem himself, of course with the help of others.

Work constructively with parents.

Working with teenagers.

1. Engage in the prevention and correction of deviations in emotional sphere teenagers.

2. Reduce antisocial behavior of schoolchildren.

3. Develop stress-resistant personality traits of students.

4. Shape:

the skills of assessing the social situation and taking responsibility for one's own behavior in it;

perception skills, use and provision of psychological and social support;

skills of defending one's borders and protecting one's personal space;

skills of self-protection, self-support and mutual support;

conflict-free and effective communication skills.

5. Direct awareness and development of available personal resources that contribute to the formation of a healthy lifestyle and highly effective behavior.

There is a logic to the development of dramatic events called bullying. Bullying is a process that has its stages. Beginning - development - increase in negative consequences, culmination ( crucial moment) and finish. Sad ending, and almost inevitable. IF YOU DON'T INTERVENE.

1. Difference from others (otherness)
(Preliminary phase)

• Someone is perceived as not conforming to the norm, “not like us”
• Someone comes to class as a newbie
• Someone pulls "old stories"

Example:
Lisa is new to the class. She came from another region and speaks Russian poorly (or with an accent)

Exit options:

• Empathy Training: Developing Empathy in Individual Children
• Conscious handling of values ​​such as "acceptance" and "nobility"
• Discussion of the topic “Human rights / rights of the child”; its connection with everyday life.

2. Quarrel - conflict
(Preliminary phase)

• Quarrels are single phenomena after which everything is back to normal.
• Quarrels happen situationally, now here, now there, without singling out "strong" and "weak".
• There is efforts aimed at resolving conflicts.

Example:
Zhenya immediately liked Lisa, and she wants to meet her in her free time. However, Irina best friend Zhenya starts to get jealous. She is afraid that Liza will “beat off” Zhenya from her. On the way from school, Ira calls Liza names and pulls her hair.

Exit options:

• Development of competence in conflict resolution (for example, "non-violent communication")
• Mastering methods of conflict resolution and their application in practice (for example, the method of mediation with the participation of schoolchildren themselves)
• If necessary, the involvement of a third party

3. Enmity

• becomes noticeable as distributed power(highlight "strong" and "weak")
• Conflicts happen regularly. For some period, similar cases are repeated.
• The buller may appear remorse.

Example:
Ira hates Lisa more and more, despite the fact that her friend Zhenya practically does not communicate with Lisa. Sometimes Ira has remorse.

Exit options:

• Honestly give each other a chance to settle
• To know each other better
• Regular positive communication

4. Self-defense
(This is primarily about this. - Preliminary phase)

• In full accordance with the typical behavior in conflicts, each side tries to protect itself - withdrawal, attack, flight or with the help of the “imaginary death” reflex (freezing).

Example:
Liza tries to defend herself from Ira's attacks, trying once again not to catch her eye or loudly saying that she has nothing to reproach her with.

Exit options:

• Every time go to a direct meeting with each other, and not evade them
• Consciously perceive positive qualities in each other and try to appreciate them
• Seek and create new friendships Þ secure your independence

5. Abuses (various in the form of "getting" from the side of the bully)
(The actual bullying phase)

• Attacks intensify against one man
• Buller/bullers purposefully"bring" the person they have chosen

Example:
Meanwhile, Irina, Zhenya and their girlfriends begin to use every opportunity to tease Lisa or make fun of her. Before gym, they throw Lisa's gym bag into the trash, another time they glue her shoes together, the third time they hide her diary, and so on.

Exit options:

• Someone stops the bullies (e.g. bystanders, teachers)
• The instigators are aware of the responsibility they bear

6. Increasing victim insecurity
(The actual bullying phase)

• Out of shame, many victims of bullying don't tell anyone about what they suffer from and what they have to endure.
• The victim is increasingly under the impression that no matter what she does, all wrong.

Example:
Every day, Lisa feels more and more insecure, ashamed that everyone turned against her, and does not tell anyone about how much she suffers. She no longer knows how to behave. If, for example, she wants to take part in some common cause, no one wants to do it with her. If she stays on the sidelines and waits to be invited, they begin to say about her that she "makes a lot of herself." And lately, she still doesn't know how to dress. If she wears something stylish, they start teasing her about a “failed model” and the like, and if she dresses simply, then they hint at shopping from a second-hand store.

Exit options:

• The victim tells a trusted adult about what is happening.
• This adult tells the school about what is going on. The school takes the problem of bullying seriously and organizes the necessary measures to counter bullying (see Best Practices), for example, the psychologist uses the "No Blame" technique.

Ends fracture, climax- after that, if you do not intervene, the victim ceases to resist.

7. Isolation of the victim
(peak phase of bullying)

• bullying changes from active to passive.
• Passive bullying is less visible to teachers.

Example:
The class teacher notices that Lisa is becoming more and more sad and withdrawn. He urges the girls to treat Lisa well and says that he will not endure if he finds out about Lisa's harassment on their part. The reaction of the girls is that they prefer to minimize any contact with Lisa, as a result of which she is left alone during the breaks; they gossip behind her back whenever possible. In group classes, no one in the class wants to work with Lisa; none of the girls wants to spend free time with her either.

Exit options:

• The teacher makes it clear to bullies that they must stop all forms of harassment and exclusion of Lisa from communication - both active and passive!
• The victim is left alone, and she can safely study in the classroom.
• For group lessons in the classroom, the teacher himself organizes the groups and monitors their work.

8. Prolonged stress (on the part of the victim)
(Phase of bullying resistance phase)

• Outwardly, everything is calm, there are no noticeable conflicts. But the victim develops chronic stress with all its psychosomatic consequences.

Example:
Lisa starts having seizures excessive sweating when she notices that they are talking about her behind her back again, or that no one wants to be with her at recess. Now the boys are joining the persecution: “Remove world sorrow from your face! It is impossible to look at you without tears!”, “This professor thinks that we are not worthy of her company!”. Lisa believes that the guys are behaving like a child and tries not to react to similar statements. But internally, they hurt her painfully.

Exit options:

• The victim is supported and accompanied by parents and professionals (eg psychologists).
• The victim learns to protect himself in adequate ways, for example, by informing the aggressors about how they are affected by their actions.
• The victim transfers to another school to protect himself.

9. Exclusion of the victim from the community
(Advanced phase of bullying)

• Bullers now pursue only one goal: they want the victim to leave their classroom.
• Bullers now have no shortage of arguments as to why "ultimatum exclusion" of the victim from the class is justified.

Example:
The girls and boys in Lisa's class now only want one thing: for Lisa to leave their school. They explain this by saying that Lisa constantly smells bad (sweat), that no one likes her, and that no one wants to communicate with her.

Exit options:

• With the involvement of external specialists, individual conversations are held with bullies and their parents.
• Bullers receive a written warning from the school authorities about the inadmissibility of such actions and the threatening sanction - their expulsion from school.

10. Illness of the victim
(Advanced phase of bullying)

• Symptoms of stress develop into disease symptoms.
• These symptoms appear most often in free time from school.
• Misdiagnosis is often made.

Example:
Lisa wakes up more and more often with a severe headache, sometimes she even returns home before reaching school, she feels so bad. Mom goes with the girl to the doctor, who prescribes painkillers for her. He believes that the symptoms may be related to puberty, and that they will soon pass. Lisa's parents notice, however, that on weekends or holidays, their daughter does not complain about headache or increased fatigue. They talk to her about it. Lisa finally tells them about how much she suffers in class and how she feels like an "outcast" in the whole school. Lisa tells her family doctor that she often wakes up in the middle of the night from nightmares and sometimes thoughts come to her mind that she does not want to live anymore.

Exit options:

• The victim receives medical and therapeutic assistance
• Looking for opportunities to transfer to another school

Any child can become a victim of child abuse. However, the most vulnerable are children who differ from their peers in external features, both physical and mental. The “risk group” includes children with physical disabilities, other nationalities, unusual behavior, etc. Ill-treatment deforms the child's psyche and can be the cause of pathological disorders. Children affected by abuse may develop socially dangerous forms of behavior: violent, suicidal and addictive (substance addiction, Internet addiction, gambling addiction). Consider some forms of child abuse.

In Scandinavian and English-speaking countries, the following terms are used: harassment, discrimination, mobbing (mainly group forms of child harassment), bullying. Last term used most frequently in the literature. It is believed that it most fully reflects the essence of the phenomenon we are discussing. D. Lane and E. Miller (2001) associate this term with bullying and define bullying as a long-term process of conscious, physical and (or) mental abuse by one child or a group of children towards another child (other children).

The motivation for bullying and mobbing is different: revenge, restoration of justice, an instrument of submission to the leader, competition, hostility, sadism of accentuated and disharmoniously developing personalities.

bullying - this is social phenomenon, characteristic mainly of organized children's groups, in the first place, the school. Numerous researchers explain this circumstance, first of all, by the fact that the school is a universal place for discharging numerous negative impulses. At school, certain role relationships develop among children in the “leader-outcast” range. An additional factor contributing to the persistence of bullying in the school space is the inability, and in some cases unwillingness, of teachers to cope with this problem. Bullying manifests itself through various forms of physical and (or) mental harassment experienced by children from other children. For some children, this is systematic ridicule, reflecting some features of the appearance or personality of the victims. For others - damage to their personal belongings, pushing under a desk, extortion. For the third - outright bullying that humiliates the sense of human dignity, for example, an attempt to force publicly ask for forgiveness, kneeling before the humiliating.

Some researchers propose to systematize all manifestations of bullying into two large groups:

Group 1 - manifestations associated mainly with active forms of humiliation;
Group 2 - manifestations associated with conscious isolation, obstruction of the victims.

Identification and diagnosis of medical and psychological consequences of bullying (mobbing)

The objective difficulties of early detection of bullying in our country limit the possibility of targeted work in this direction. The detection of bullying is random and episodic. In this regard, each teacher, psychologist or social worker should be ready for a meeting in his professional activity with bullying in order to recognize the main manifestations of its most severe consequences: violent, suicidal and addictive behavior. In practice, in our country, they are more focused on identifying children and adolescents at risk for bullying.

Factors that make it possible to classify a child as a risk group for bullying include:

- multiple stress. The point is that victims of bullying are burdened with many problems. Poor health, low social status poor relationships with peers, big families, pronounced social disadvantage, as well as low compensatory capabilities - all this is typical for victims of bullying.

- provocative characteristics of the victim. The so-called provocative victims are children and adolescents who, due to their personal characteristics, can be annoying factors for the majority of their conditionally tolerant peers. In fact, we are talking about the phenomenon of "otherness" in children's groups. "Unusual" manner of speech, "unusual" laughter, "unusual" humor, etc. already, from the point of view of "ordinary" schoolchildren, may be a sufficient reason for a negative attitude.
- stigmatization- racial (national) and physical characteristics of the child, not only physical defects, for example, "cleft lip" or hearing loss, but also some phenotypic features. Unusual hair color, voice timbre, ear shape, etc. for a certain category of children and adolescents, they can be an incentive to bullying.

In a bullying situation, there is always:

• ? Instigators.
• Active, sociable children who claim to be the leader in the class.
• Aggressive children who have found an unrequited victim for their self-affirmation, etc.
• ? Persecutors.

Some of them:

• obey the "herd mentality";
• trying to earn the favor of the class leader;
• afraid to be in the position of a victim or do not dare to go against the majority.

All children react to manifestations of bullying (mobbing) in different ways. When observing children suffering from bullying (mobbing), their following features may be found:

Behavioral features:

Distance from adults and children;

Negativism when discussing the topic of bullying;

Aggressiveness towards adults and children.

Emotional features:

Tension and fear when peers appear;

Resentment and irritability;

Sadness, sadness and unstable mood.

In chronically stressed minors, the body's resistance to infectious diseases; psychosomatic disorders occur (classic vomiting of children before school, vegetative-vascular dystonia, tachycardia, bradycardia, enuresis, etc.)

Reliable information can also be obtained as a result of a sincere conversation between a specialist and an injured child. However, this is not always possible and also requires special preparation. On the other hand, any teacher, psychologist or social worker should be ready for an adequate, understanding and empathetic reflection of the traumatized child's confession about bullying by other children, if the latter decided to open up to him. It is especially sad when a child or teenager (as a rule, this is extremely difficult for teenagers) decides to open up to an adult, to tell about his trouble, and for one reason or another, such revelations are not interested in an adult. In this case, a precious opportunity to learn about serious problems in the lives of children and adolescents, perhaps even unrelated to the topic of violence, may be missed. Children tend to choose authoritative adults as their confidant in many cases. Parents, who may lose their children's trust, are often followed by educators and psychologists as such positive ideals of trust. The collapse of a child's hope can lead to fatal consequences.

To determine the situation of bullying (mobbing) and its consequences, it is necessary to collect relevant information and conduct a clinical and psychological examination. It is necessary to interview both the victim himself, as well as possible participants in the abuse of the victim and witnesses. All the information received should be carefully analyzed. As a result of the analysis, it is necessary to clarify the following aspects:

The reality of bullying itself;
- its duration;
- his character (physical, psychological, mixed);
- the main manifestations of bullying;
- participants (initiators and perpetrators of bullying);
- their motivation for bullying;
- witnesses and their attitude to what is happening;
- behavior of the victim (victim);
- the dynamics of everything that happens;
- Other circumstances important for diagnosis.

Help for children affected by violence

The sooner professional assistance begins to be provided to the victim, the better the prognosis (psychological-pedagogical, psychotherapeutic, psychiatric (depending on the severity of the victim's condition). The work should cover all areas of damage to the victims, taking into account their condition (somatic, mental, social). Therapeutic assistance is already begins with the interview mentioned earlier.

An important role is given to work on establishing relations with the social environment. It is necessary to separate the child (adolescent) with the corresponding stressful influences.

Psychological and pedagogical aspects of bullying (mobbing) prevention

Primary prevention is implemented in three areas:
- Creation of conditions for preventing bullying (mobbing).
- The fastest and competent separation of the child with the corresponding stressful effects.
- Strengthening the body's defenses in resisting bullying, both for relatively healthy children, and for those who already have a somatic or mental pathology.

1. From the very first day, any mockery of the failures of classmates should be stopped.

Petya answers at the blackboard, makes mistakes or writes not very beautifully. A classmate maliciously comments on what happened, trying to draw the attention of the whole class, to cause laughter. It is necessary to express your attitude to this situation, saying that the failure of a comrade cannot be a reason for fun or gloating. We all learn, and everyone has the right to make mistakes. The mocker should make a stern remark.

2. Any disparaging remarks about classmates should be stopped.

The teacher seats the students at his own discretion or forms teams. At the offer to sit down with Vasya, Misha exclaims: “I won’t be with him! Just not with him!” You need to stand your ground. And then talk to Misha alone, inquire about the reason for his refusal. Invite the child to take Vasya's place: "Will you be pleased if someone refuses to deal with you?"

3. If for some reason the child's reputation is damaged, you need to give him the opportunity to show himself in a favorable light.

With Vitya, a smart, well-read boy, in the first grade there was a nuisance - he peed himself in class. The guys began to tease him, did not want to play with him and sit next to him. The teacher began to ask Vita difficult questions, to entrust responsible tasks, with which he successfully coped. Soon the guys noticed how much Vitya knows, how interestingly he tells, and the unfortunate incident was gradually forgotten.

4. They help to unite the class through joint events, trips, performances, wall newspapers, etc.

5. It is necessary to give the most active children the opportunity to express themselves and assert themselves at the expense of their abilities, and not at the expense of humiliating others.

6. You should avoid making fun of and comparing children in the classroom. Some teachers do not even publicly announce grades for test papers, but put them in diaries. Analysis of mistakes must be done without naming those who made them, or individually.

7. It makes sense to talk to the stalkers about why they pester the victim, to draw their attention to the feelings of the victim.

The teacher gathered her fifth class in the absence of the looming outcast and discussed with them why they were all turning against him. Draws their attention to his positive qualities. And in conclusion, she asked the guys to answer the question in writing: “How can I help Slava?” It turned out that most of the guys have nothing against Slava, but stick to him out of habit.After the conversation, the attitude towards a classmate changed.

1. Remain calm and in control of the situation;
2. Take the incident or the story about it seriously;
3. Provide support to the victim;
4. Show the offender your attitude to the situation;
5. Assess the situation of the offender from the point of view of the victim;
6. Remember that the punishment must match the offense;
7. Discuss the identified problem with a group of peers;
8. If necessary, involve the parent community.

According to the site: www . nsportal . en