How to find a way out of a hopeless situation. How to find a way out of a hopeless situation: conducting introspection, identifying mistakes, setting goals, drawing up a plan and advice from psychologists

In everyday troubles and worries, rarely does anyone think about their security. As a rule, we begin to “be baptized” and “lay straws” when the thunder has already struck, when we have to retreat not to previously prepared positions, but into the unknown, into nowhere.

Often it begins to seem that in the abyss. In a famous song there are the words "... love will suddenly come, and every evening will immediately become surprisingly good." What if trouble suddenly strikes? The sun is fading, the earth is slipping away from under your feet, and it seems that no one and nothing will save, help, come to the rescue.

In his misfortune, a person becomes vulnerable, and troubles begin to literally “stick” to him. "Trouble does not come alone," they say in such cases. Two primordially Russian questions arise before a confused person and begin to torment him: “What to do?” and “Who is to blame?”. Or rather, on the contrary: “Who is to blame?” And only then - "What to do?". Most of us still begin the analysis of the situation with the search for the culprit in our misfortune, and not with any constructive reflections and steps.

So, the first rule that life has taught me is do not look for the guilty, forgive everyone you want to blame, and yourself first of all. Forces will be useful for searching, for fighting, for getting out of the situation, for recovery.

Of course, you can blame the whole White light, hide in a corner and wait for the situation to resolve itself. That's what all kids do. They never try to solve the problems they face, but try to "forget" them, put them in the back of their minds in anticipation of a happy outcome, a magician in a blue helicopter, or a miracle. Nothing good comes from such a position. That is why parents should form trusting relationship with children, to always be aware of their problems and come to the rescue in time, showing ways out of difficult situations. And not at all for taking measures in the form of punishments and other sanctions.

So, pull yourself together. Get yourself together. Do an analysis of the situation. Get help from everyone you can. And do not think that your problems are indifferent to people close to you. They love you and will help you with advice and concrete deeds. It is very important that there is a person nearby who you can rely on. But this doesn't always happen.

"Ask and it will be given to you" - remember? Ask not only relatives, friends, acquaintances. First of all, ask and pray for the help of the Lord and your highest patrons. Find your temple if you don't already have one. Go around, if possible, everything that is nearby, and somewhere you will want to stay.

Or maybe you just find your place near the icon closest to your soul in the only church near your house. This place is sure to exist, and the soul will prompt, respond to it. The main thing is to go and ask. Ask for forgiveness, help, intercession, patronage. Read prayers (or affirmations if you are an atheist) instead of delving into gloomy thoughts or indulging in despondency. In other words, control your thoughts. You can’t think about something productive - you read prayers, and gradually your consciousness will clear up and the necessary decisions, ideas, assumptions, hopes will come to your head.

Learn to relax both emotionally and physically. Take up meditation. You can achieve relaxation different ways. Can focus

- firstly, on your breath;
- secondly - on relaxing your body (First, tension of all muscles is performed, and then relaxation. This is done gradually, starting from the feet and ending with the muscles of the neck and face.);
- thirdly, on some visual image or sound (This may be the image of sea waves that run ashore or the singing of some kind of sound "oomm", "aah." In Robin Sharma's book "The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari" there is a description of the “admiring the rose” technique).

If desired, and the current capabilities of the Internet, you can pick up several such techniques - which one will be more to your liking than others, stop at that one. Yoga helps a lot, whether you practice at home or in a specialized club. Choose a few exercises for yourself and perform them to pleasant music, and there are also recordings for relaxation with the sounds of nature: forest, sea.

And also water. ordinary water. Rather, water procedures. Various baths - relaxing, soothing, sea, coniferous, with aromatic oils, etc. Sauna or steam room. A real feast for the body will bring relief to your soul. Swimming pool. You swim like a fish, and nerves and thoughts come into order through muscle load. Pouring. Shower.

Walks. If there is a companion, he is also an interlocutor - good. If suddenly this does not turn out to be - it's okay, go for a walk alone. It is only advisable to choose a medium or fast pace of movement, depending on your fitness, and return with a little physical fatigue. It's great if your route runs along the river bank, park, quiet, unfussy streets.

Care of the garden, plants has a very good effect on our mental state: planting, transplanting, weeding and all sorts of other chores. Open your books, catalogs, atlases on floriculture, look through them, admire the beauty of nature.

Another way to divert your thoughts from a difficult and unpleasant situation is to watch your favorite movies, read books that once gave you great pleasure.

If you have had health problems for a long time, but there was no way to deal with them, now is the time. Start a course of preventive treatment of your osteochondrosis, gastritis, migraine. Even if there is no exacerbation. And it often happens in stressful situations in the presence of chronic diseases, and then treatment all the more cannot be postponed.

There is one more good way dealing with stress that accompanies difficult life circumstances, he has proven himself well, especially among women, but men should also be helped: shopping. In other words, go shopping, find something you've been dreaming of for a long time (a unique crochet or fishing hook), or buy yourself a gift spontaneously.

Here's something you like right now - buy and enjoy. Earrings with diamonds, a silver ring, a beautiful dress, a tie, a car or… a toy. Please yourself. And if there are no desires at all, then loved one, child, any person.

Fulfill the dream of an intangible plan. We have long dreamed of jumping with a parachute, riding a river bus, walking barefoot on the water, telling a neighbor good word, plant a tree, throw away a boring service, stand on your head, learn a melody for piano and orchestra, get a kitten or a puppy, go to Paris or to the countryside? Take action.

The main thing is not to get hung up on the problem, not to go headlong into it, but to realize the opportunity to put your thoughts and feelings in order, start to analyze and take reasonable steps to resolve the situation or to realize the need to exist in new circumstances.

And so, during prayers, meditations, walks, swimming, gardening, while watching movies, your consciousness will gradually lead you to the right path. Previously unfavorable circumstances will turn the other side, joyful and necessary events for you will begin to occur. Changes for the better will begin in your life, new opportunities and chances for success will appear.

With God's help, with the participation of close people and your own calm and positive attitude, the Door will open for you, which you did not suspect some time ago.

And this Door will be not only the Exit from a difficult life situation, but also the Entrance to a new, beautiful, huge and happy Life.

This is a stupor that hinders any development. If a person is confused in life, he ceases to enjoy what he has. Neither work, nor family, nor hobbies inspire. The desire and desire to move to new heights disappears. All due to the fact that ahead, as it seems, is a dead end in life, and there is no sense and joy in anything.

When life has reached a dead end, it is important to find a way out of it as quickly as possible. Otherwise, you risk being depressed. And the solution is always on the surface. It's just that the available options do not always satisfy us and motivate us enough to immediately start implementing them. Sometimes we need to step over our “I”, somewhere we need to lower the bar, and sometimes we need to admit we were wrong. And getting out of the impasse seems like a daunting task. But everything will not be so terrible if you look at the situation from the outside. Imagine that this is not your problem and look at it like an outsider. Talk to yourself as if your friend is asking you for help. Without emotions and experiences, it is always easier to find a rational solution.

If you are not left with the feeling that the steering wheel has been pulled out of your hands or you are locked, and there is no way out of this situation, self-torment begins. You either withdraw into yourself and your problems, or think about how to get out of the impasse. Perhaps you yourself have driven there. What's the best option here? The answer is obvious - to find a way out of the impasse as quickly as possible.

Where to start looking for a way out of life's impasse?

Take a time out

When you don't know what to do now, don't do anything. Let go of thoughts and concerns. Stop delving into your memory, looking for the reasons for all failures and tormenting your brain. Just let yourself rest. Sometimes a minute pause is enough for the decision to come by itself.

Get rid of anxiety

Don't panic ever! Vanity clouds our consciousness and expends energy. Save energy for constructive thinking. Think about the situation soberly and from the side of an outsider. If the problem is solvable, then the right way In the end, there will be, and you should not worry. If the situation is unsolvable, then all the more there is no point in wasting energy on soul-searching. Direct it to parallel life tasks.

Source of inspiration

Start letting as many bright thoughts into your life as possible and promising ideas. Motivational videos, biographies and recommendations successful people, quotes of philosophers, life films. Use everything that gives you inspiration, aims at the fight, makes you look for non-standard solutions. The exit from the dead end is nearby. Sometimes you just need to look around to find it.

What to do with the impasse in life next?

So, let's look at the main steps towards solving the problem:

Step One - Believe that you can take the first step.

Only faith in own forces help overcome fears. There will definitely be a way out of the impasse. You can sit and wait for everything to change on its own, but only if you are absolutely sure that you are still ready for change.

The second step is readiness for change.

The slogan of the pioneers "Be prepared. Always ready” is relevant in our time. You have caught a dead end in life, what to do - you do not know. Finally, do you think you have accepted the right decision- change jobs, break off burdensome relationships or close an unpromising business. And you do it. But for some reason you don’t get joy from what is happening. The reason for this is your unpreparedness for such cardinal and, as it seems to you, rational changes. The new job will also not bring pleasure, you suddenly realize that the relationship was not so bad, and the business should not have been closed, but directed in a different direction.

Ask yourself the question, how to get out of the impasse most painlessly? Maybe before you change jobs you need to learn new skills, accumulate capital, find a nanny for a child. Prepare the platform. Then change the situation radically. After all, if you want to jump with a parachute, then first you need to acquire them. Then you will be ready for freedom at an altitude of 9000 meters above the ground.

Step three - buildup.

A dead end in life plunges us into a stagnant state. In order to "rock" yourself, you need to remember what it is like to be energetic, reckless, lofty and purposeful. Remember yourself in this state, try to experience these emotions. This will help bring you back to life. If you have dreamed all your life of repeating the experience of a week-long hike in the mountains, or going in for luge, or living in China, studying the culture and customs, decide to do it while at a dead end in life.

Step four (and most important) is the challenge.

Challenge yourself. This will allow you to get out of your comfort zone and re-evaluate what is happening. Such a shake-up stimulates brain activity, increases self-esteem, gives a boost of energy for the next steps. No, you don't have to become a World Swimming Champion if you dare to finally learn how to swim. But this skill can affect very different areas of your life. Most important decisions come to us at unexpected moments, and not at all when we torment ourselves day after day in search of them.

What challenge are you talking about?

  • Sign up for dances, even if you consider yourself "wooden";
  • Run a marathon;
  • Give up the phone and the Internet for a week;
  • Go on vacation to the mountains, not to the sea;
  • Float down a mountain river;
  • Set a goal for 21 days to get up at 6 am and go for a run;
  • Learn 5 poems;
  • Learn to play a musical instrument;
  • Pass the casting in the cinema;
  • Write a book;
  • Go to the puppet theater;
  • Sign up to volunteer;
  • Meet three new people in one day, etc.

Think less, analyze less, just challenge yourself and take the risk of doing something you've always wanted to do.

Life's dead end is our visual representation. In fact, life is beautiful and full of new opportunities. Relax, tune in to a positive wave and get on with your life. All situations are given to us for rethinking, hardening and transition to a new level of self-development. Get ready for the changes that await you after this dead end in life. Challenging yourself won't necessarily change your life in a blink of an eye (although it's possible), but it will help you get off the ground, feel empowered, and find a way out of life's most difficult situation.

In the life of every person there are situations from which, it would seem, it is impossible to find a way out. In such cases, the main thing is not to give up and not lose confidence in yourself. To get rid of problems and stop the flow of failures, use effective methods.

Life is unpredictable. As experience shows, every person has encountered situations from which it is very difficult to find a way out. At such moments, it seems to us that it is already impossible to return peace and harmony to our lives. However, it is not. It turns out that in many cases a person invents problems for himself, because of which there is a feeling that a black streak has begun in life. If you're having trouble, don't get lost and depressed. Instead, pull yourself together and try to resolve a difficult life situation. Three simple but effective ways will help you with this.

Method one - stop the internal dialogue

Not always our thoughts are correct and reasonable. Sometimes the inner voice is our indispensable assistant, but in difficult situations we too often succumb to emotions. Because of this, it is impossible to make the right decision.

Before you pause your internal dialogue, ask yourself again:

  • What tools are available to me to deal with this situation?
  • Is the situation really complex and hopeless?
  • Perhaps I am jumping to conclusions?
  • Are my thoughts correct in this situation?
  • Is there another way to look at this situation?
  • Is it true that my situation is so terrible?
  • Do my thoughts help find a way out of this situation?

After asking yourself the above questions, try to answer each of them. After that, very often it turns out that the problem is just a figment of your imagination. In fact, your situation is not as deplorable as you think.

If you have come to the conclusion that there really is a problem, start looking for ways to solve it. By answering the first question, you will be able to find out what tools and options are available to you to deal with this situation.

Sometimes thoughts only bring us down and do not help us find the right way out. In this case, action is required. Perhaps, once again thinking about your problem, you are only delaying time. Replying to last question, you will be able to summarize and proceed to a solution.

Method two - rely on life experience

Everyone has faced difficult situations at least once in their life. Based on life experience, you will be able to find the right solution to the problem both in the present and in the future.

In difficult situations, you can rely not only on your own, but also on the experience of loved ones. As you already understood, at such moments the help of others will not hurt you. You can choose a friend or relative as an adviser. You need to fully open up to the person and describe in detail the picture of what is happening. To understand the complexity of this problem, ask the interlocutor to be as frank with you as possible. Perhaps with the support and advice of another person, you can solve the problem.

If you do not want to share your problems with others, try to get the most out of your own experience. Remember: you may have had to deal with a similar nuisance before. Consider what advice you would give your friend if he were in your position. AT this moment the solution to your problem depends only on you, and the answers to the questions posed may be hidden in your past.

Method three - find the source of the problems

Environment, work, memories of the past - all this can be the cause of your problems. It is necessary to understand your life and understand what could have caused this situation. If you realize that there is a burden in your life that prevents you from moving on, you need to immediately get rid of it, otherwise difficulties will haunt you all the time.

Try to analyze the problem again and think about what led to its appearance. Sometimes the reason lies precisely in our environment: the friends we trust and with whom we share our experiences are sometimes not the ones they try to impersonate. In this case, their advice and help will only harm you. Sadly, in this case, there is only one way out - to break unnecessary ties. By getting rid of useless relationships, you can eliminate difficulties and change your life for the better.

Work is one of the common causes of our difficulties. Pressure from the authorities, the intrigues of colleagues, low wages can drive us into the most hopeless situation. Consider: maybe you are in the wrong place right now. In this case, do not be afraid to change your life and boldly go in search of new job. It is likely that soon you will get rid of problems and discover new talents in yourself.

Sometimes we ourselves are to blame for our troubles. We make unnecessary acquaintances, waste time in vain and try to cling to the past. In this case, you need to conduct a thorough work on yourself. Learn to get rid of negative thoughts and make only deliberate decisions. Always plan your actions and do not let random situations ruin your plans. In this case, you will learn to control your life and be able to overcome any difficulties that come your way.

People tend to help each other in difficult situations. However, sometimes, without noticing it ourselves, we hang other people's problems on ourselves, because of which they automatically become ours. To avoid difficulties, find out

Immediately it is worth finding out from what hopeless situations in life you can look for a way out? About those in which the "care" of further existence takes the law into its own hands, and it is not worth thinking about.

Here at the stage of "adapt" and you will have to mobilize yourself, as they do when the solution to the problem depends on oneself.

What to do in a hopeless situation?

A hopeless situation is a set of problems that seem to grow like a snowball rolling down a mountain. It rarely happens that there is only one problem. It is worth swaying, and the number of troubles increases. Simple practice- in such a situation, a person begins, first of all, to look for the culprit of what happened, loses time, feels sorry for himself.

This is not constructive - in adults, problems rarely resolve on their own, and it is impossible to forget about existing troubles.

In children, the decision can be made by parents, but here you have to figure it out yourself. How to find a way out of a hopeless situation and what to do if everything in life is “bad”?

Where to go in case of serious problems

In case of a desperate situation, you need to turn to yourself. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and try to analyze what is happening.

Then you should cast aside stupid pride and call for help from everyone who can help in some way. It can be close friends, distant, former friends. If the situation is really serious, then you should try to find common points contact with negative people. Previously, in such cases, the expression was used - "beat the alarm". It is very likely that during communication it will be possible to find a way out of the impasse.

At the same time, it is necessary to draw up an action plan, which includes a real assessment of events and the possibility of action.

  1. You need to take a position - difficulties are necessary in order to prove your worth. So, one should not cry, but thank fate for the test;
  2. Then they write down their thoughts - what they think about what happened, what needs to be done first of all, what feelings lurk in the depths of their souls. Sad emotions should be discarded;
  3. Then they figure out where to turn in a hopeless situation, collect information, calculate options for solving problems: where to go, what papers are needed, what prevents them from doing it now ..;
  4. The more options, the better. Let some of them be the most fantastic, but crumbs of truth can also be hidden in them. It is necessary to throw at least options. You can even dream about how "everything will go like clockwork". The soul will become easier;
  5. They schedule the mode of appeals and walking through the authorities - sometimes you need to draw up a minute-by-minute schedule in order to be in time everywhere;
  6. We must try to recruit assistants who will provide at least minimal assistance. In order to bring a piece of paper, it will not take much time, and why not ask a friend who works next to the desired office or organization.

Having drawn up a detailed action plan, you need to fully mobilize yourself to achieve success and not deviate from what was planned. But you should always consider alternative situations - if the plan has failed, the actions are corrected.

Psychological problems

Thinking about whether there is a way out of a hopeless situation, one must not forget about psychological problems that appeared after realizing the gravity of the situation. You should take yourself away from depression, which often appears when you realize your own powerlessness or in stressful situations.

You can't close. You have to try to reach out to people. It can be old friends and barely familiar people - let life boil around.

Next, you should act on your own character. Someone needs to speak out, another to try to remove the experience away. You can advise to turn to God, go to the temple - communication with religion helps to ease the soul.

But one should not go to extremes on the path of knowledge - there are sects that find "victims" for themselves among desperate people, so one cannot blindly trust new acquaintances. If for a while you had to leave active life, you should take this as a gift of fate. While there is an opportunity, you need to go in for sports, self-education, expand your intellect, go to a hairdresser and change your image. This will help you become more creative and achieve further success.

Everyone has their own methods of overcoming obstacles:

  • go to nature;
  • arrange shopping;
  • constantly visit noisy companies;
  • internet communication.

If you have a dream, now is the time to make it come true.

Jumping with a parachute or from a tower, throwing junk out of the house, making peace with the enemy or getting a dog - the "feat" will make you mobilize to fight difficulties. It is necessary to facilitate your own existence as much as possible in order to “emerge” full of strength in the future.

Out of crisis situations, there are 3 exits - you need to choose the best one for yourself.

  1. Look for solutions to the current problem, having previously understood why it arose;
  2. Accept the situation and just go with the flow without making any effort to overcome it. To designate the crisis as a passed stage, and in the future not to focus on the past, trying to forget it faster. Yes, you will have to put up with a lot, but sometimes this is the only way to avoid serious losses and not change the circumstances you are used to.

It is worth dwelling on this method in more detail. family situation. If you don’t want to change the existing way of life, then you shouldn’t fight for a “partner”. Most likely, he is waiting for the first step. There will be no step, everything will end on its own.

Work problems. It is very difficult to simply tell a person about dismissal. If he himself does not begin to recognize and “twitch”, then the indecisive boss retreats for a while, and in the future the conversation may not take place at all.

Overcome the situation with pressure, without "workarounds". The "offender" can fold.

Sometimes all methods have to be combined, and only then will circumstances recede.

Don't focus on possible problems- they need to be dealt with as they become available.

But at the same time, it is not worth postponing things for "later" - sometimes a crisis occurs only because they brushed aside small tasks, not attaching importance to them. When they accumulated, a hopeless situation arose. If all small problems are compared with bricks, then a hopeless situation is equated to a wall that is very difficult to break through with your forehead.

But sometimes it is enough to pull out one brick from the base, and the wall will crumble into a pile of debris. The main thing is to correctly determine which first brick laid the foundation.

What to do in a difficult life situation?

We give advice right and left that there is a way out of any unpleasant situation, and not even one. We tune in to the positive and try to console others that not everything is as bad as it seems at first glance. But when we ourselves are overcome by troubles that are coming from all sides, the advice that we ourselves offered looks simply ridiculous and helpless.

What to do in a difficult life situation, where you see one dead end? There are practical tips on how to proceed in this case.

1. First of all, try to calm down and stop. No need to quickly rush into the pool with your head and take incomprehensible actions that can lead to more big problems. You need to pause and decide where you are and how you ended up in this position. Take some time to think about why it turned out the way it did, and not completely different. When you can find the entrance, then you will find the exit in one moment.

2. Actionable advice how to get out of the impasse is to get rid of the emotions that overwhelm you at that moment. Fear, anger, disappointment interfere with normal concentration in front of the resulting problem. Often our negative emotions, which are acquiring enormous proportions, we are making an elephant out of a molehill, and it’s done, we don’t see any way out, one dead end. If you want to smash something to smithereens - do it, if you want to scream and swear - go ahead, give vent to your anger, do not keep destructive energy in yourself.

3. When you are overcome by complete devastation, only then will bright thoughts begin to come into your head and everything will become clear from a different angle. Prepare yourself tea with lemon and ginger, or make yourself hot coffee, energy drinks will help your brain work faster. Take a piece of paper and start writing down absolutely all ideas for getting out of an impasse, even the most absurd ones, in such cases all means are good.

4. Do not think alone, seek help from your comrades and loved ones who have not turned their backs on Hard time. There is a proverb "One head is good, but two is better." Perhaps they will offer their own options that will be useful to you, because sometimes it is more visible from the outside.

5. The next step would be complete analysis suggested ideas. Consider all the pros and cons. Make three thorough plans to get out of the crisis. Plan A and B are the most effective, and Plan C is the back-up. Clearly thought-out scenarios, several options, give much more percentage of success than one.

6. In a difficult life situation, gather your strength and spirit and begin to put into action your anti-crisis plan. Going step by step, not stepping back, you will achieve what you want and get out of the troubles surrounding your life, and understanding what to do will come by itself.

7. In a difficult moment, people who care about you and who are very dear to you will help you survive misfortunes. Don't push them away or isolate them from your society, let them help you. You can even ask them for help yourself, in such situations you understand who the most devoted and faithful people are.

8. In our lives, we rely a lot on circumstances, while realizing that they do not bode well. You can't do that. We create our own destiny, so pull yourself together and do not let circumstances take over you.

9. Another in an efficient way how to get out of the impasse is to eliminate people with negative thoughts. In the environment of each person, there is sure to be such a person who will exaggerate and lower faith in yourself. Such people do not see happiness and positive moments, they have only one negative around them. If possible, avoid them, do not let them lower your self-esteem, otherwise, you will panic and give up.

10. When you are in trouble, look for something that will motivate you during the time while you get out of the current situation. Strive to associate with those who believe in you and know that you can withstand any blow.

11. In difficult times, do not be afraid to take risks and think about mistakes, everyone has them. It will be stupidity that you will sit idly by. Each of your mistakes will be a lesson from which you will draw useful and necessary information for yourself.

12. Do not listen to those who say that they know how you better live and be. They will constantly remind you and poke you for past mistakes. Send them away from you, let them hang noodles on the ears of others, the same losers as they are. This is your life and only you can decide if you can get out of trouble or not. Believe in yourself and you will succeed. You are not a loser, but a winner!

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What to do if there is no way out

If there is no way out, what to do?

How then to be and what to do if you do not see a way out?

Can't see and can't find a way out difficult situation What can be done to find a way out? And does it happen when there is simply no way out? Could you give any advice or give your opinion on what to do if there is no way out.

what to do if there is no way out

Answer of the Secret Oracle

Of course, it would be much better if you described your problem specifically, then it would be possible to give advice directly on your difficult situation. Well, if you figuratively answer your question “about the way out” and whether it happens that there is no way out at all, you can answer unequivocally that there is always a way out. Moreover, I assure you, as a rule, there is always not one way out, but several of them, in different variations. All of them differ only in that some of the exit options are complex, more difficult, but true, while others are easier, simpler and more correct, and among them there is one single most true one. But all of these options lead out of a dead end, out of a difficult situation, or solve a problem. But, such that there is no way out at all, simply does not happen. It often happens differently, not all people, and can not always see or find a way out. This happens because a person at a certain moment loses heart, becomes disappointed, begins to doubt himself, his abilities, being in a difficult situation, failing to see a way out at first. Thus, blocking himself psychologically, which does not give him the opportunity to continue searching for a solution to his problem. You need to relax, and be able to look at your problem as if from the outside, look as if this problem is not yours at all, but someone else’s, and imagine mentally, in your imagination, so that you yourself would advise someone who, if it turns out in your place, in the same situation. You need to calm down, stop worrying and fluctuating, but put your mind in order. Which means that consciousness should be free and clear, not constrained by anything, then look at your problem as if a bird is looking at the Earth from a height, and intuitively feel your way out, and after that start thinking and analyzing your intuitive feeling with your consciousness. And you will see the right way to solve your problem. To overcome doubts in yourself, this is the most important thing, it should not be in you at all. Believe in yourself and your strength to the last, even if there is no more time left. If you manage to put yourself into such a state, you will see not just a way out, but the only true way out.

How to find a way out of a hopeless situation

How often, when we find ourselves in a difficult situation that requires a strong-willed solution or a creative approach to solving problems, we begin to think that this is it - a Hopeless Situation. Having believed once that there is no way out of your situation, you allow pessimism and self-pity to take over, and you find yourself in a vicious circle of your own fears and emotions. I propose an alternative approach - to believe that there is always a way out, and not one, you just need to make an effort to see it. The main part of these efforts will be aimed at maintaining a positive attitude and maintaining faith in a successful resolution of the situation.

So, there are no hopeless situations - this is a fact. And then what happens - what do we take for "hopeless conditions"?

  1. The need to make a decision. It's difficult, scary, and requires you to take responsibility for your choices and their consequences. If the choice is wrong, there will be no one to blame but ourselves, so our consciousness closes and pretends that there is no way out, and we, in turn, play along with it. Convincing yourself that nothing depends on you is the approach of a weak person. Take courage and remind yourself that control is always in your hands - yes, you can make a mistake, but this is your decision, independent and balanced, which means you are an adult and responsible person.
  • Allow yourself to make mistakes - mistakes are your personal, invaluable experience that you can always use for the benefit of your development.
  • Use our tips on how to overcome fear - take control of your life in your own hands, do not be a victim.
  • The fear of change can paralyze even a smart and developed person in all respects. Such is the nature of a person - it is more comfortable for him to exist in conditions of certainty, and everything unknown is frightening and has a much lower level of comfort. Refusing to do something out of fear that your life will change is not stupid, but terribly inefficient. Change is always for the better - tell yourself this day and night until you believe it, and then you will find that you mistakenly considered your situation a hopeless one.
    • Change your attitude towards change to a constructive one, and your life will pick up a new pace of development, just like you.
    • Read the success stories of great people - these daredevils have changed not only themselves and their lives, but also the world in which we live, is this not an incentive to joyfully plunge into the coming changes?
  • Convenience of a "familiar place". A person can adapt to any conditions, even the most destructive and uncomfortable for himself. Being in a dysfunctional marriage or working at a job where you are humiliated and not appreciated, and justifying it by the fact that there is no other way out, means indulging your complexes and low self-esteem. If self-esteem is very low, a person can even stay in a relationship where violence is used against him - because it is convenient, convenient from the point of view of his complexes. Trying to change the situation and get away from the role that you are used to playing is difficult, but necessary.
    • Work with self-esteem - without this work, any attempts to get off the ground will be short-lived and will entail a return to the previous circumstances.
    • To understand and accept that you deserve more and better - for this you need to love yourself.
  • Some people try to pass off banal laziness as a hopeless situation. If a person does not want to make any effort to find a solution, he directs them to look for excuses. Excuses invented for others are gradually accepted on faith and consciousness, and now a person is sincerely convinced that in his circumstances there is no way out. And you just need to want to change your life and direct your efforts in the right direction.
    • Learn to deal with laziness - no one will do it for you.
    • Work on increasing motivation - just work, and do not try or try.
  • The pleasure of complaining. It is common for many people to complain about their bitter fate, evil people around them and unfortunate circumstances instead of doing something. The goal is to get confirmation from others that they are right - “there is no way out, I am unhappy, I didn’t even have a chance, given what kind of childhood I had ...”.
    • Stop whining!
    • Find out why you shouldn't complain and how to channel your energy from complaining into action.
  • devotion to standards. "That's the way it is" is the worst excuse for not acting. By whom it is accepted, why and why this should be reflected in your life, it does not matter at all if you decide to justify your "hopeless" situation with someone else's opinion, traditions and established orders. In this world, neither those around you, nor the rulers of states, nor anyone else defines you, only you! You yourself determine where the limit of your possibilities is, so call them limitless, limitless, instead of hiding behind the notorious "it's customary."
    • Breaking stereotypes, even though it's new and scary - you need it.
    • Use the pattern breaking technique to release energy and direct it towards creation.
  • Of course, first of all, I am writing these tips to remind myself that there are no hopeless situations, but I also want to convey this to you. They really do not exist, there are difficult decisions that are points of our growth if we choose the path of development, not stagnation.

    You may also be interested in our other articles:

    Great article. Thank you! I myself have gone through everything you write. So I'll say it works! You just need to apply.

    Thank you for the article .. I'll go and work on it .. Everything is written correctly ... ... ... ...

    Hello, I can not find a way out, can anyone help

    Whoever wrote this article has never been in difficult situations and knows nothing about it. When they come one by one, a person gets tired of constantly looking for a way out. He simply does not live, but spins as if in a frying pan. I never trust people who don't want to live just because they're depressed, they're spoiled sacks. But believe me, there are such situations when there is no way out, or rather, the way out is not the best for a person and there is only one. A person who is tired of life and in a hopeless situation is very a dangerous person and then the only way out is to leave. I have been spinning around like this for many years, now I have no more strength or desire, and people can only help with a word, but this will not help me.

    What to do when there is no way out?

    And then it’s my fault that toys are scattered everywhere at home and the dishes are not washed. I can’t burst, I need to cook food (and not only for us adults, but also separately for the baby) to play and work out with the older child (by the way, with a small one in her arms, she can crawl on her own for about 5 minutes and starts crying), go out for a walk with them , wash, etc. as a result, at the end of the day I have no time for scattered toys and dirty dishes, the night has come - and there is no rest, I am like a soldier at the post at the bed.

    I was tired and even probably more not physically, but mentally. He constantly tells me: “I work, what are you doing?” It offends me. After all, I also work, only at home, with children. I forgot when last time I would just sit down and quietly read a book. And he thinks that I'm not doing anything, I'm sitting at home on his neck. I'm tired of begging him for money, but is it money when there are children? Every day you need to buy something. If he needed shoes, he went and bought, for example, the sole of my boots came off a week ago (and not just, but right on the floor of the sole), I told him. he replied that he would come home from work and seal it up. glued for the 5th day. and so in everything. “Make a chair for a child” - more than one month has already passed, but the chair has not been made and the child suffers and draws not at the table, but wherever he has to. I ask for money for a chair for feeding the youngest - zero result, he will be drummed how and where the child is sitting.

    But he is perfect and only he is always right - this is his position.

    I was tired and if there were no children I would have left him long ago. but we rent an apartment, I don’t work and I have nowhere to go with two children. I do not know what to do.

    To all that, HE LOVES TO DRINK and not just drink, but to crawl home barely moving his tongue after every day, and then 2 days of a hangover, a sober day and again on a “holiday” day, where he, the poor, is so worked out that he needs to rest, and not help with the children (after all, I don’t do anything at home). (I do not drink, I do not accept at all, I healthy lifestyle life and therefore a drunken husband finishes me off in the end.)

    I see no way out and just cry at night from my hopelessness and helplessness, how many times I threatened to leave. but he knows that I have nowhere to go, and if I leave, he scares me with the fact that he will sue the children.

    But again, another BUT arises - I don’t want the children to grow up without a father - the eldest is crazy about him and I can’t separate them. I want a strong, friendly, healthy family, but somehow it doesn’t work out.

    I'm confused, I'm tired, I want respect and understanding, I want care and at least a little bit of being loved. and I don't know what to do. Leave? Where? Where to find a job to get at least 25,000 to rent an apartment and clothe and feed the children. What should I do? Where to find a way out.

    I present to your attention 10 effective tips on what to do when everything is bad. Forward and with a song!

    There are moments in life that even incorrigible optimists and inflexible pieces of iron cannot endure.

    It seems that everything in the world has taken up arms against you: family, bosses, strangers in minibuses and shops, even nature has been pouring nasty cold rain for days on end.

    It seems that it can’t be more disgusting and you just don’t find the answer to the question of what to do when everything is bad.

    First you need to calm down, figure out if everything is really as terrible as it seems to you at first glance, and only then look for ways out of the protracted crisis.

    Is it really all that bad?

    Once I attended a collective training on the topic "Depression and how to deal with it."

    One of the participants was not afraid to speak honestly about her current problems.

    From her words it followed that now in her life reigns not just a dark streak, but - there is nowhere blacker and only a few steps separate her from the bridge from which she wants to rush.

    The trainer was not afraid of the patient's suicidal mood and asked if she was ready to deal with her problems step by step in front of everyone.

    The girl Galya agreed, because on her own she could not figure out what to do when everything was bad.

    I give you a list of Gali's problems that I remember:

    The husband left for another.

    During the conversation, it turned out that this was far from the first spree of the dog, he began to change even when they met, but she loved him, therefore she was ready to endure everything, so long as she did not leave her.

    with mom and best friend She quarreled because they told her:

    “Gone and - Thank God. There was no need to marry this reveler at all, how much blood he drank from you.

    It is necessary to rejoice, not to shed tears.

    The boss is constantly sawing.

    It turned out that after the departure of the unfaithful spouse, the girl took a week at her own expense to cope with stress, then asked for more, but the director refused, offering to take a vacation, if necessary.

    Galya refused, because she hopes that her dog will still return, and they will be able to go on vacation in order to glue their relationship erased to dust.

    Well, of course, the boss is a rare bitch.

    There are no comments at all.

    Indeed, like a refrigerator that is already 10 years old can break down.

    This is only the machinations of enemies - not otherwise.

    Walking home from work, Galya caught on something and tore her favorite coat.

    After all, the sewing workshops have all immigrated to Mars and there is no one else to repair clothes.

    “Any depression should be met with a smile. Depression will think you're an idiot and run away."

    The trainer we came across was just excellent, who, point by point, sorting out Galina's problems, convinced her that some of them were household trifles (coat and refrigerator), some could be fixed if you wanted (make peace with your mother and girlfriend), some were provoked by the girl herself , for example, a conflict with the boss, who already showed miracles of tact.

    And to cry for such a husband is not to respect yourself, because not a single normal lady would ever marry him.

    What to do when everything is bad: 10 ways out of the impasse

    To begin with, it is worth remembering that a black stripe is followed by a white one, the night always ends with a dawn, and good triumphs over evil.

    And if you show enough patience, perseverance and wisdom, then you will not notice how everything will work out.

    What to do when everything is bad:

    Break down your problems.

    You must understand which of them can be corrected by your own efforts, which can be overcome only with someone's help, and which have no solution at all, they just need to be eliminated (for example, quit your job, where the boss adds you every day gray hair) or simply wait them out ( bad weather, for example).

    Learn to see the good in everything.

    Did a car douse you when you tried to cross the road in the wrong place?

    Nothing, the dress will dry, and you will definitely know that you should follow the rules of the road.

    Even if serious problems have upset you from head to toe, rejoice at the playfulness of your cat, the smile of a baby in a minibus, a great sunny day, how this dress suits you, etc.

    Do not rush into the pool with your head.

    Most people believe that liters of alcohol, hundreds of cigarettes and crazy parties all night help to cope with problems.

    A hangover and lack of money will be added to the already existing difficulties.

    First, strong physical exercise allow you to cope well with stress.

    And secondly, just imagine: while you were working hard on yourself, all the problems resolved, and here you are so beautiful, with a stunning figure.

    May the whole world fall at your feet.

    Various volunteer organizations - an opportunity to see that homeless animals, orphans, the disabled, lonely old people have a much harder life than you.

    Yes, and the good done will definitely come back to you.

    Get rid of negative emotions.

    Cry, break a couple of plates, shout, write a list of your problems on a piece of paper, and then burn it - choose what you like best.

    But in no case should you cherish and cherish all the muck in your soul.

    Ask for help.

    I'm talking about not only influential people, able to solve one or another of your problems, but also about priests, psychologists, various spiritual mentors.

    Someone who can heal your wounded soul.

    Even if everything is bad with you today, then you need to think that tomorrow everything will definitely get better, and not: “I will die an ugly, sick, useless old maid.”

    Dream about the good and the Universe will surely respond to your call.

    Problems rarely resolve themselves.

    Before you give up, you must be sure that you have done everything in your power to resolve the conflict.

    From the fact that you sit down and whine all day long about how unhappy you are and why life is so unfair, your situation will not change for the better.

    There are tragedies that we cannot control.

    I am talking, first of all, about the death of loved ones.

    Yes, it hurts you a lot, yes, you think that this is unfair, but there are trials that we must endure with honor, so that when we meet our loved ones and relatives in another world, we would not be ashamed.

    Did you understand everything? And now “hand over” your depression to the pawnshop Stanislav Bodyagin! 🙂

    How much is he willing to pay for it?

    “What to do when everything is bad?”, you ask.

    I will answer: “Do not lose heart, do not give up and hope for the best!”.

    War, no work, two children, nowhere to live, because the mother found a man, and kicks us out of her own house, so that we can live there together with her betrothed (my family and children interfere with them), there is no money for a lawsuit to change the house, since we barely get food. I got sick, I need money for treatment, my husband is almost never at home, he is constantly on some kind of part-time job. I walked naked more than once. The refrigerator burned out, the TV burned out, my mother’s husband stole the money set aside for winter boots for the child, we are sitting at home now, there is nothing to put on a child. Every month it gets worse and worse, but what’s there, every week. If 2 years ago we were still able to pay for the cheapest rented housing, but now we can hardly find money for food. I can’t imagine what to do. years ago everything was fine, before the appearance of my mother's man, such a feeling e, that it is he who causes damage and laughter and sin, but there are no other explanations. I won’t go into details, but with his appearance, all relatives turned away from us, we lost our housing, endless moving around the rented huts began most of zp, well, it went on and on.

    Just send all your problems where everyone knows, don't sleep until late, smoke a couple of cigarettes, and even better weed, but don't drink alcohol, watch melodrama and sleep, wake up cheerful and everything is aye, we live only once and we still don't live get out, love yourself...))

    Excuse me if I say rudeness, but I don’t understand - WHY PRODUCE CHILDREN IF YOU INITIALLY HARD AND WITH ONE. Choose freaks and be fruitful and multiply without money, in rented apartments, without work or financial assistance, and then talk about a black streak………..People sometimes think, but do not live by instincts alone……..

    I wrote but it didn’t feel better, I can’t beat the dishes and yell too, I can scare the children to death, and so they are frightened of me because of my crazy husband, not only does the drunk also swallow the wheels, almost every day we scandal, in general different character we, I have three children, the youngest is disabled, we live in a rented apartment, there is practically not enough money because this yap spends everything, I myself do not work because there is no one to leave small things to. I asked him to adjust his schedule so that I could earn at least some money, so this son of a bitch rested, you see, the men will look at me at work, this bastard sees vulgarity everywhere. I don't know where my eyes looked when I married this devil. The main thing before marrying myself would be an angel built like I'm not like that. And after they got married a year later, he began to show himself. And there’s nowhere to go, so I have to endure this creature with three children.

    Bullshit! She tore her new coat - a fucking disaster. You don't know or understand anything about what BAD actually means. You are stupid idiots and your advice is stupid.

    Nothing will solve the problem if you are the biggest mistake in a person's life!

    Such articles are good because they collect a lot of useful comments, thanks.

    Nonsense complete! The author clearly saw no problems in his life. And if you are in full F ..., and white stripe has not been coming for several years, but only getting blacker and blacker, then what to do? Maybe you just need to talk to someone about it.

    I agree with you. For example, I lived in poverty since childhood. Parents drank, drank everything. We didn't have our own home. Filmed continuously for several months. Then they drove us out of Bukhara to the street and so on. As a result, I got up as an adult without receiving any education. Because my mother died in 2001. And my father began to pester me and I went to work as a nurse. Later I met a guy. He was a complete alcoholic. But I felt that I was not worthy good men. We signed with him, I began to give birth to children from this freak. The eldest son has been disabled since the age of two. A brain tumor. The rest of the children are healthy. The eldest is now 11 Maxim 8. Dima is 7 and the youngest is almost two years old. We lived in a hostel. Husband drank until 2015. Then I coded this freak. Later he began to use salt. In general, the debts for utilities are almost 500 thousand, for alimony from the first marriage. He has a daughter, also half a million rubles for non-payment of alimony. And that in the end I took the children and left him. And now everyone is against me, no one believes me that he is a drug addict. I have nowhere to live. I'm retired, housing.

    I believe that the root of all problems with excessive social pressure and life situations is the inability of people to take a time out, pause, let go of all their problems until tomorrow morning, and today enjoy the peace of their usual life on a pleasant or not very March evening. Vice problems do not let go. Even the state of intoxication ceased to bring me a feeling of relaxation and brief peace. He saved himself by hunting, and sometimes it became not a joy. So far applied oil painting and technical handicrafts and successes have had an effect.

    I often remember my first hunt in a pond - I shot a duck, pulled on the brodnies, now, as a pioneer, I will rush with a wild boar and get it. In fact, stuck in the silt along the fork. I think it’s strong, I’ll get out now, for about an hour of fluttering they filled the wanderings with water and silt without having the proper effect, I got stuck even more. For about an hour and a half, I just lay in the mud gathering my strength, assessing the situation (alone, without a rope, there is no one to ask for help) and thinking through the sequence of actions. After another hour and a half, I somehow crawled out and dragged out the wanderings.

    The loss of loved ones is the most difficult experience in our lives. The pain will never go away. It's like one day you start carrying a brick with you always and everywhere. While it is new, its edges are scratched, clothes are torn, you do not know where it is more convenient to attach it. After a while, its edges smoothed out, the brick found a convenient pocket, became so familiar and invisible .. It did not become easier. If only just a little bit.

    Moral of this nonsense:

    One must be able to loosen the loop of problems and crises around the neck, and part of one’s life to bring them out of everyday whirlwind. (This is not given to me at all in recent times).

    If a active movements do not help, you need to stop and review the actions, start simple, take a time out.

    The pain of losing loved ones will never go away. You have to accept this and move on with your life.

    Know how to refuse. A lot of people find the strength to refuse to live together and raise their children on their own (for me this is still too wild and unacceptable) and it’s very good if this is in order to eventually return to this. Sometimes it is useful to abandon the imposed aspirations for success if the path to achieving goals has brought problems and grief.

    And the last thing: as long as the sky is above your head, the earth is under your feet, you can always start something anew. There is no "too late" and "I'm too old for this" period in nature.

    And yoga helps me. Only thanks to regular exercises, the roof does not go. Before that, booze is also an option if you have money and health. But usually there is neither one nor the other, and this turns into a deferred problem. Drank, relieved stress. In the morning, the same thing, only less money. And stress can also turn into physiology, that is, the body itself will begin to produce stress enzymes, which is really difficult to deal with. We must fight to the end! (although this is a meaningless slogan). Better so: there is a problem - solve it. If you can't fix it, don't make a problem out of it.

    My situation is not the most asshole, but still not to say that everything is ok. I think that others may be worse and it helps)). But just do yoga - from stress, if you cope with stress - it's easier to solve problems. You just need to find a normal yoga, there are those who will only add problems. ATP for your blog, but it's impossible to help. But even pouring your soul into a voluminous void is already the norm. True, I think you really did not experience problems, so your comments are superfluous.

    Everything will be fine.

    Uranus agrees. Fully. But I want to say to Vasya that these are not problems at all, but a trifle of life. The hand will heal, you will find a job. Do you know what I've been through? First, a divorce at the 7th month of pregnancy, no money, no job ... plus the morale of abandonment and a baby that was not needed by her husband. Okay, divorce is a betrayal, I agree, divorce courts, lack of money, but that's all eh .... Second marriage. The second child is a year old. Husband hung himself. The betrayal is insane. I'm on maternity leave. Two children. Again, as for the first time, I can not work because of the small age of the child. And psychologically, what happened to me - I am silent. I can’t describe in words, but in short - I tried to get away from this filthy life. Rather, she ran away from the pain. And again, credit and lack of money and children need to be fed. And you say 4 months of unemployment and a hand…. And then the third marriage…..the third love. Truth. Again a child. But here is betrayal. The husband lived in two families. Me and her. A child here and there. He slept with me and with her. I could not survive this, but he could not make a choice, he rushed about for a month there, then a month here. It hurts a lot, especially when the kids ask. I couldn't do that. She said go away, but I still love and suffer madly. That's how it happens, someone always has a smooth life, or someone gets divorced and cries all his life, or they remember betrayal for a lifetime, and even the loss of a loved one, death ... And all this fell to my lot right away! And I'm only 36. And now, Vasya, compare your problems with mine. And even though I’m in a very bad psycho-emotional state and in general, nevertheless I don’t give up and don’t complain about problems. But the author of the article is right in one thing, communication is communication and only communication - do not care with whom, it saves!

    You need to go to church. Pray Mother of God She is the protector of all mothers. Pray St. Nicholas Ugodnik. He is merciful, helping children whom fathers cannot help. Believe the Lord God, His Most Pure Mother and the saints of God. I had worse than you. My husband was seduced by his mother-in-law at the age of 16. He confessed to me about incest when I was in my seventh month. I did not let him near me for seven years, during which they rented apartments, waited for their own cooperative (these were Soviet times). What I went through, I don't wish on anyone. Then they got an apartment and got divorced, the apartment was exchanged. For twenty years my mother-in-law and my husband pursued me with slander and harassment, they were afraid that I would reveal their terrible secret. She died in 2009. He is now married for the third time. Between the second and third marriage tried to return. There was simply no one to talk about such a marriage with. I've been through it all and I'm still going through it all. I'm talking to you because you don't know me, and I don't know you.

    After such a marriage and divorce, I, by my own decision, at the age of 36 decided to refrain from personal life. I plunged headlong into work. Now I am 60 years old. Of these, I have been completely alone for 24 years. I have faith in normal people, but after what I've experienced, I don't want any privacy. Home-work-church - that's my circle.

    She raised her son alone without alimony. He has two higher education. He is also unlucky. He divorced not so long ago, thank God, there were no children in the marriage. But, everything is simple there. Did not get along.

    Here you see. No matter how hard it is for you with three children, there are situations much worse. And further. I stopped asking why all this happened to me a long time ago. After all, there were other fans who offered their hand and heart. Normal kids from normal families. So my son was to be born in my marriage to this husband. I thank God for my son every day.

    And you will have three times more joy because you have three children. This is such happiness! Happiness in itself!

    Good luck to you and your kids!

    Elena. I am very lonely. spiritually weak person. I have a husband, but we cannot say that we are spiritually close. He works, all the time on business trips, lately, and besides, he likes to drink, but I don’t accept this business at all, and so they have lived for almost 30 years. Often there were sprees, sometimes he didn’t come home for a week. I shed many tears, but I forgave, loved, and besides, my two sons grew up. She dedicated herself to the children. Eight years ago, the company where she worked was closed, and she found a part-time job. Now the sons are building their personal relationships, and they don’t need my guardianship, and no one needs me anymore. And I feel bad, I cry constantly from longing, I don’t even have a girlfriend. Complete desperation. Want to be needed.

    Svetlana, in no case do not despair!

    Try to arrange your habitual life a real reboot!

    You write about what you want to be needed by someone. There are many volunteer and charities who will be very happy to help you. They take care of orphans, old people, homeless animals, etc. Contacts of such “abodes of goodness” in your city can be found on the Internet.

    I personally know a case when, after several trips to boarding schools, a 48-year-old woman adopted 2 children. And she certainly has no time to think what to do when everything is bad - then the kids need to cook porridge, then take a walk, then go to the pediatrician.

    By the way, have you thought about getting a pet? It is difficult to "sour" in the apartment when someone's wet nose is poked in the face and insistently calls for a walk. As one of my friends says: "The dog does not serve you, it is friends with you."

    And don't be too hard on your kids. Believe me, as soon as they create their own families and have children in them, they will need you no less than at the age of 5. And who will advise how best to treat gaziki, will tell herself an interesting fairy tale and take a walk with the baby for half a day, if not a beloved grandmother? And tell you how to cook your sons favorite cake "Napoleon"? The responsible role of this wise queen of the family awaits you, so get ready! Sooner or later, everyone comes to the conclusion that “it turns out that mom was right!”.

    And don't believe that it's impossible to make friends as an adult. Do you know where my 56-year-old aunt got a close friend? On computer courses from the Employment Center! And the charming ladies of the “Balzac age”, who came to visit her for tea, turned out to be her acquaintances from articular gymnastics in the fitness center.

    A friend of mine met her bosom friend on a one-day pilgrimage from the church. A relative found her "soul mate" (she is 50 years old, married for the second time) during a morning run around the stadium.

    So, Svetlana, try to expand your circle of acquaintances: go in for sports, travel, go to the cinema and to exhibitions (even if you have to do it alone at first), do charity work and volunteer, invite relatives and neighbors to “light” with you, make it your hobby what brings you joy.

    And how can you remain indifferent to a woman whose eyes are burning and 135 different interesting things a day? So the husband will look at you with different eyes: not as a multifunctional kitchen-harvester-washing machine, but at his beloved wife.

    Good luck and be optimistic!

    Elena, thank you so much for sharing such a complex life history. I sincerely admire your resistance to all blows of fate and worldly wisdom.

    But ask yourself: do you really not want a private life, or are these all your fears from the time when you were thinking about what to do when everything is bad?

    If you come to the conclusion that you are being a little cunning with yourself, consider:

    1) take a closer look at the men at work and in the church, if you often visit it.

    My believing friend found her soul mate when she was 42 years old in a church where she goes to church every Sunday. Married for the first time, for a widower;

    2) register on dating sites specially created for believers, for example, http://www.nadezhdaps.org.ua, or at least look through the profiles of men. What if one of them has a heartbeat?

    3) pull yourself up every time you want to incline your son to something, “climb” with questions and advice into his work and personal relationships (with ex-wife or a new passion).

    The temptation is very great, when she herself does not have a personal life, to “strangle” a child with her love. And at the same time, it absolutely does not matter how old he is - 5 or 35. Be extremely careful in this regard!

    4) think about which of your colleagues, neighbors, relatives you really enjoy talking to and go ahead - call more often, invite you to a cup of tea and just go shopping or go to the market for fresh cherries.

    A lady who does not know what a lack of communication is and always shares her experiences is blooming before our eyes!

    Peace of mind and harmony to you!

    Frankly speaking, it is not clear why you turned away from your husband. He was seduced, he himself confessed to you, i.e. the man repented. Didn't do you any harm.

    You are a very strong woman!

    It may not seem so to you now, but it is precisely such people who deserve to be cited as an example of resilience and vitality. And even the fact that at some point you succumbed to weakness and tried to die does not diminish your strength.

    I agree that a lot of problems fell to your lot, some of which you simply could not solve (for example, the suicide of your second husband) and which you simply had to come to terms with and find the strength to live on.

    And you found strength when you got married for the third time. And it's not your fault that your husband was not faithful to you (do not try to blame yourself in this situation!).

    You know, it is very difficult to give you specific advice, because each of the situations needs to be carefully analyzed. I would recommend that you work with a psychotherapist or find yourself a confessor if you are a believer (there are really good psychologists among the priests).

    What else can I advise you to do when you do not want to live:

    1) Do not withdraw into yourself and communicate with other people.

    Perhaps it makes sense to find some circle of interests or an organization that needs your help. It is quite possible that there you can find not only friends, but also new love. My mother's student friend married twice unsuccessfully (the first husband was a sadist, beat and humiliated her), the second, like yours, lived in two families. At 44, for reasons unknown even to herself, she responded to the call environmental organization guard rare snowdrops in the forest from poachers who tear them and sell them. In this camp I met another nature lover 46 years old. They have been happily married for 8 years now.

    2) Focus on the kids.

    Fate has made you 3 wonderful gifts. I have already said that you are a very strong person, and such people are usually rewarded for their perseverance, if not directly, then through their children. You just can't be alone because you're a thrice mom. And isn't that wonderful?

    3) Check out the stories of people who survived terrible falls in order to take off later: Oprah Winfrey, Nika Vujicic, Kylie Minnogue, Konstantin Khabensky and others.

    Find out how they came to their senses after terrible illnesses, congenital pathologies, childhood rapes, cancer, betrayal by men, the loss of a loved one, etc. Perhaps their stories will inspire you.

    Hold on! Your burden is within your power!

    Such experts are enraged, I treat them and their advice as the advice of the head of the Ministry of Finance, the head of the central bank, the head of government, the president that you need to survive the crisis and everything will be fine ... ... ... Hunting to say this * censorship *, you will not survive the crisis is a fact and you yourself live living from sn to sn.

    Uranus, same bullshit. At the slightest glimpse, similar to a white stripe, an even blacker stripe immediately follows.

    I would even rephrase "After the most dark night the dawn is coming" to "After the dawn, the night is even darker than yesterday."

    When you were laid off, you can’t find a job for 4 months, and already when you realize that the stash is running out and you should find some kind of coven for the summer, since every man knows how to work with his hands in order to at least somehow hold out, you break your arm and can’t do anything with do it. It's simple tin. Sometimes you just sit there and don't know what to do.

    Although there is a positive, they say there is a positive in everything, I learned to type with one hand, you see this is my white stripe about which everyone writes.

    This article is useful if a person is really inventing problems for himself. But if the problems are real, then these Soviets are like a spit in the soul. And “come to terms with the death of loved ones” is not even advice, but simply a necessity in order to live on. The one who wrote the article apparently does not know what it is when your life is a solid black streak. When you fight as best you can, but life leaves no loopholes for you and every day is such an agony that even in hell it will not be so bad. It remains, of course, to think positively lol))) Someone is lucky, and he manages to overcome adversity, while someone cannot get out of the swamp for years, no matter how hard you try.

    Thank you, Uranus, for your opinion!

    But, unfortunately, you did not tell us what is happening in your life, that "every day is such an agony that even in hell it will not be so bad."

    Let's assume that you or your loved ones have huge health problems. And what do you think, the famous Nick Vuychich, a man without arms and legs, who received an excellent education, got married and had sons with his wife, goes diving, surfing, skydiving, and at the same time writes books and gives motivational lectures around the world, it’s easier ? Read about it at your leisure.

    The most famous American TV presenter Oprah Winfrey grew up in a terrible slum, had drinking parents, was raped by a relative in adolescence and gave birth to a premature baby, whom she later buried. Who could have imagined that this dark-skinned girl could earn millions in intimate conversations and become a national idol?

    And such examples strong in spirit, there are just a lot of unbending people.

    Financial disaster? Change jobs, look for a part-time job on the Internet, and, finally, apply abroad for a “long ruble” using the services of a good employment agency.

    PS. In the same Israel, the salaries of ordinary workers start at $ 1,200 per month. The easiest way is to consider an empty wallet and "turn sour". It is from such inaction and decadence that I wanted to warn readers.

    My good friend Sergei quit his job as a vocalist in one of the provincial ensembles and became a truck driver in Poland to provide for his family. He says that no creative ambitions torment him, because relatives are a priority, and music will not go anywhere as a hobby.

    Dropped by a loved one? Family broke up? There is always a chance to either return a person, or, having burnt out what was supposed to be, meet your new love. Although, of course, it's damn hard to believe in a couple of days after breaking up.

    Tortured complexes? Read books on psychology, articles on specialized sites, sign up for a training - take at least one small step in the fight against the problem.

    In a word, no matter how life beats you, there is always the opportunity, if not to radically change the situation, then to make it less deplorable. We sincerely wish you good luck!

    • Relations between the signs of the zodiac: compatibility and incompatibility 02.02.2018
    • What is love for nature? 01.02.2018
    • How to beat off a guy: 6 tips + 3 TABOO 01/31/2018
    • What to talk about with a guy on a first date: 8 topics 01/30/2018
    • How to communicate with a girl: rules and methods 01/27/2018

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    From time to time we are faced with situations and circumstances that seem to us either intractable or insoluble at all. In such cases, having despaired of finding a way out of the existing situation, we are especially in dire need of an objective and sober view from the outside. But where to find it, this interested and thoughtful opinion? Where can we find a truly wise person who, in difficult times, will help us this only path, the thread of Ariadne, tell us how to break out of the vicious circle?

    We very often entrust this responsible decision to our relatives or friends. This has its advantages. First, we certainly trust them. Secondly, one can hope that their "outside view" will be more accurate in assessing the situation. And thirdly, we simply do not know who else to turn to for help. The disadvantages of such a decision are also obvious: it is unlikely that the decision of your loved ones will turn out to be the best - if only because they do not know the whole depth of the problem, all its shades and nuances. This is known only to you. But what then to do in such cases?

    There is an exit. And the most amazing thing is that you know it. You know how to solve the most difficult problem, how to find a way out of the most difficult and confusing situation. There is a solution. And if it’s hard for you to believe this, then think about how you are looking for keys that were not in the usual place. You know they are at home. You know for sure that they are somewhere. It is also obvious to you that sooner or later you will find them. But where are they?

    In order to find a solution to a problem that defies the most desperate logic, we need to take a paradoxical path: to make it look like the problem has a solution, just as in school textbooks in physics and algebra all the answers to the tasks are given. All you have to do is find the relevant pages containing all these solutions and select the relevant answer. And in order to find these pages with answers to all our questions, we need the so-called wise man technique: psychological exercise, which will allow us to reduce the search for solutions to the most complex everyday tasks to a minimum.

    The wise man technique is performed only once, and after that you get answers to any, most difficult questions life order. However, for this to actually happen, the technique must be done very thoroughly and seriously. It consists in the fact that you create in your imagination the image of a wise person who helps you solve all your problems. This image further accompanies you as a talisman. It will be like a genie that you can call out of the bottle in difficult times. And he will always come to your aid as soon as you ask him about it.

    How is a wise person created? The imagination of a person is so strong that he can come up with almost everything that you can imagine. If you want to imagine for a moment what a pink tree will look like, then you can do it. You can easily create the desired pictures and images. You can also remember and reproduce the sounds of your favorite melodies, sing their motive to yourself. You can hear a voice: male or female, loud or quiet, high or low. If you wish, you can see the picture and hear how it can sound: for example, a ball that bounces on the floor not only has a certain color and shape, but also makes some sound when it bounces off the floor. We do all this thousands of times every day: we present pictures, we hear voices, and we can even see a full-color movie with our own participation.

    In order to create a wise person, you will need exactly the ability to see with your inner eye and hear with your inner ear that you have. You do not need anything supernatural and amazing imagination. Wisdom, as a rule, is measuredness, smoothness and calmness in everything. However, if your wise man is dressed in orange jeans and his hair is dyed Blue colour Well, I wouldn't be surprised at all. Because your wise person can be anything. He can be with or without a beard, it can be a woman or a man. This person may be aged or, conversely, very young. If only he satisfies one important rule: the appearance of this person fully corresponds to your idea of ​​\u200b\u200bwisdom and enlightenment.

    It may take you several hours to create a wise person. Do not feel sorry for it, it will bring you great benefits, which can then be calculated in months and years, if we are talking about the time we spend looking for this or that solution. It is best if no one bothers you during these hours, and you can be alone with yourself, alone with your wise man. If you have found such an opportunity, you can proceed directly to the implementation of the technique.

    Step number one. You will need a pen and a sheet of paper. Get it all ready and then try to relax. Nothing needs to be done, you can sit quietly in a chair or even lie down. You will need to remember some of your past experiences, and this will be easy, because you will have to remember pleasant things. Please remember a few times in your life when you found a way out of a difficult situation. They can be anything, take the most obvious ones that come to your mind. How did you feel in those moments when you broke the vicious circle, when the situation was successfully resolved? Speak also to yourself about your role and merit: what exactly did you come up with in order for everything to fall into place? As soon as you remember this and say it, mentally put a tick or a cross, as people do when winding a thread around their hand or drawing signs on their palms to remember, and move on to another case with a similar result. Your task is to remember five (or more) such cases and mentally put crosses: they say, we remembered, we remember. Once everything is ready, write it all down on a piece of paper. Formulate something like this: "I did this and that, and my problem such and such was successfully resolved." Or: "I came up with such and such, and after that everything fell into place."

    Step two. There are different types wise people, and for each person they can be very different. Someone is convinced by a beard, someone by horn-rimmed glasses. The mind can be emphasized by certain clothes, age, or the presence of certain details. Knowing this, fantasize about what he is - your wise man? What would he look like if you met him? How would he be dressed? Maybe he even reminds you of someone? How would his voice sound? Fantasy boldly, freely, listen to your feelings. You can make notes on a sheet of paper, fixing its most important features or qualities. You can draw it if you can even draw a little. You should also decide where to meet your wise person. Perhaps it will be a quiet, darkened office, or hot desert, or autumn forest. If you can't imagine something, then just think about how it would look if you could do it. Thank God it's easy to think about what people or things might look like. It's easy to think about what your wise person will look like.

    At the end of the second step, you will have a complete picture of your wise person. You will also know the place of your meeting with him: a place that you can always either imagine or think about so that it fills your attention. You can also describe a wise person on paper. Do not spare words, describe it in as much detail as possible.

    Step three. After you can imagine your wise person whenever you need to (just close your eyes and go to him, or let him come to you, or he will just appear in front of you as soon as you think about it), return to your list of those cases and situations in which you found a good solution and got out safely, and add one more such situation to this list. It will be easy, since we find a lot of similar decisions in our life. Repeat everything in exactly the same way: remember what a good solution you came up with, how you felt immediately after the situation was discharged, put a mental cross, as in previous cases, and then add this case to the list.

    Step four. After completing step number three, try to relax again: lean back in your chair or take a supine position. Close your eyes and think about the difficult situation that exists in the present. Focus on it for a minute, that will be enough. After that, meet with your wise man, and as soon as he appears before you, ask him one question: what should you do in this situation?

    As soon as you ask a question to your wise person, you will instantly receive an answer. It can be of any property: memory, image, picture, voice, phrase, and any other. Think about what you got. You can write it down, draw it, or say it out loud. You have received some important information that contains the answer to your question. You just have to understand what the wise person wanted to say by giving you this information.

    In the future, during repeated meetings with a wise person, you can agree with him on ways to exchange information. You can find out what his name is, and for this it is quite enough for you to simply ask him about it. You can also hear his voice, and then, when asking your questions, you just have to listen to what he has to say. It may be that when you meet you do not hear a voice, but you have thoughts that answer your questions. These are the answers of your wise man. Do not forget to thank him for meeting with you and trying to help you.

    There are no restrictions on meeting a wise person. You can turn to him for help at any time you see fit. After each meeting with him, also pay attention to the dream that you had. In a dream, you can get very important information that will help you make the right decision. Good luck to you! And thank you to your wise man, whom you will meet very soon. I thank him for listening carefully to all this.

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