Technique of a wise person or how to find a way out in a hopeless situation. What to do in a difficult life situation
In a person's life there are many complex and sometimes hopeless, impasse situations. And often people do not know what to do and how to get out of the impasse.
Today, on the site of psychological assistance in difficult life situations website, you will read the recommendations of a psychologist and learn how to find a way out of critical, seemingly hopeless situations in life.
Desperate situation - life's impasse
In most dead ends in life, people wind themselves up. And most often, any hopeless situation is only regarded as such by the person himself, because. at this critical, stressful moment, he cannot fully, to the fullest extent, use his intellect, knowledge and skills.
When a person is under stress, he thinks stereotypically, and on emotions - he is annoyed or depressed.
What is a stalemate, a hopeless situation in a person's life?
A psychological impasse, or a hopeless situation in life - it is also called a stalemate - is when a person cannot make the right life choice, is unable to find a solution to a problem, or does not know what to do under any difficult or critical circumstances.
He is under stress, depression or neurosis at this moment, therefore he cannot think and act adequately to the situation “here and now”.
What to do if you find yourself in a critical, difficult life situation?
The first thing to do in a crisis, deadlock situation is to understand in advance for yourself that there are no hopeless situations.
You can always find a way out of the circumstances and make your choice.
Prevention of crisis and hopeless situations in life
In order to prevent crises - to have as few of them as possible in life - you need to constantly expand your worldview - to make a wider model of the world, a map of reality.
And not to live constantly in stagnation, in your "comfort zone".
In other words, in order for you not to have serious impasses in life, you need to constantly engage in personal growth and self-development.
"Constantly" is a lifetime. Then you do not have to look for a way out of the impasse - you simply will not get into it.
How to find a way out of a hopeless situation
If you have ALREADY found yourself in a dead-end, crisis situation, then you need to immediately get out of it. First of all, by relieving stress and changing the attitude towards the problem itself.
How to find a way out of a dead-end, hopeless situation?
- You can relieve stress almost instantly, for example, by relaxing with the help of psychotraining, deep breathing, or changing your negative thoughts about the problem to more positive or neutral ones;
- After you normalize thinking and emotions, you will be able to assess and adequately characterize the problem (often, only by changing your attitude, the problem disappears on its own);
- If you have little obvious choices, for example, only two, you can rationally and adequately (without nerves) expand your worldview and see other possibilities for solving the problem;
- If all choices are evil, then the lesser of several evils is chosen;
- If you can’t get out of a hopeless situation on your own, resort to help ...
Help in a difficult life situation
When people cannot get out of life's impasse on their own - they are under stress, depression, "nervous" - then professional, psychological help in crisis situations.
After removing neurotic symptoms, it will be possible to find a way out of almost any hopeless situation.
Consult online psychologist-psychoanalyst Matveev Oleg Vyacheslavovich
NATA CARLINHow many times do we mentally return to the time when it was possible to “lay straws”, but we did not. And now, we are faced with an unthinkable task - to find a way out of difficult situation. Our brain is feverishly looking for options for the development of events, trying not only to find the cherished “door”, but also to act in such a way as not to “lose face”.
For some, a hopeless situation is like a labyrinth in which a person wanders in search of a solution to a problem. It seems to others that the earth is gone from under their feet, and they fly into the abyss. Each person perceives differently. However, always ask yourself the question: “What to do?” But never look for those responsible for your problem. In the first place, only you yourself are to blame for what happened to you. Do not waste your efforts on unnecessary clarification of the relationship, direct them towards making constructive decisions.
Remember how Nikolai Fomenko said about hopeless situations? Ingenious saying: "Even if you are eaten, there are always two ways out." Therefore, remember the rules for getting out of a difficult situation:
You are already inside this problem, it is impossible to avoid it, and you will not be able to return to the starting point.
Ask for help from acquaintances or friends. It might be easier for you to describe your problem to a stranger who will give you good advice.
Many people are used to solving their problems on their own. If you are one of them, close the doors, turn on soft music, and start looking for a way out. Do not force yourself to go "on a bow" to strangers. If you do not want someone else to take part in solving the problem, you do not need to. Do it yourself.
Breathing exercises.
Being in search of a way out of the situation, a person stays in. At this point, his blood pressure rises, his heart beats wildly, sweating increases, and so on. Right now you need the skills breathing exercises(yoga, tai chi). It's fine if you already own them, but it's never too late to start learning.
Nature has a relaxing effect on nervous system person. This is especially true of large open reservoirs. Therefore, try to leave all worries behind and go for a walk to the lake. Sit, think, look at the water surface, swans and ducks swimming on it. Try to dive into the water yourself. If it happens in summer, then a river or lake will do, if in winter - a pool. As a last resort, lie down in the bathtub, into which you drop a few drops of vanilla and rosemary. Water helps to concentrate, discard all unnecessary, and come to the right decision.
Physical Education.
In order to feel in good shape every day, it is not necessary to play sports to the point of exhaustion. To focus your thoughts on the problem, engage in monotonous, not difficult activities. For example, put things in order in the house, in the garage or pantry.
Have you abandoned embroidery or knitting for a long time, because you simply didn’t have enough time for it? Find it now. Be sure to do something pleasant and useful for yourself. Finally, if you have never had this hobby, go to the cinema,.
Be healthy.
Of course, there is no direct relationship between the search for a way out and the state of your health. But in order to make good use of the time that you spend looking for a way out of the situation, health prevention is well suited. Each person thinks that tomorrow or the day after tomorrow he will go to the doctor and improve his health, which has been shaken over the years. But that tomorrow or the day after tomorrow may never come. Therefore, choose the moment when you feel too sorry for yourself, so you need to do something nice for your own body.
Of course, men will now laugh. But, don't be fooled! They love it too feminine word. Buy what you have been wanting for so long. Please your loved one, because today it took too much to find a way out of the situation. Have you been staring at those red shoes in the window for a long time? Buy them, finally, amuse your pride. Do you like alloy wheels that will look so great in the overall design of the car? Do not deny yourself anything! The joy of buying is above all! And in the evening, when the euphoria subsides, and only a feeling of deep satisfaction remains, start looking for solutions again.
Every person in this life has a dream of an intangible plan. For some, this is a trip to the opera, others want to be on the ocean shore under the moonlight, others dream, finally, of going to their parents in the village.
Life is too fleeting, and dreams remain unfulfilled. Therefore, if you have a financial opportunity, drop everything and go on an adventure or to mom and dad. At one fine moment, you realize that it was this trip or campaign that became the starting point from which the process began, during which you found a way out of a conflict or other unpleasant situation.
Now it doesn't mean the people who have become your friends. Let's talk about pets. Everyone thinks that it would be possible to have a pet. Maybe that moment has come? Today he will please you with his presence, and will not give up after stress, and tomorrow you will become for him best friend. Now you just need to choose who it will be - a puppy, a kitten, a parrot or silent fish.
Think about the problem, don't discount it. She will not go anywhere without your participation. After all, it is only yours, and no one can solve it for you. However, do not go in a vicious circle, do not drive yourself into a corner, and even more so, into stress. Try to align your thoughts
We give advice right and left that there is a way out of any unpleasant situation, and not even one. We tune in to the positive and try to console others that not everything is as bad as it seems at first glance. But when we ourselves are overcome by troubles that are coming from all sides, the advice that we ourselves offered looks simply ridiculous and helpless.
What to do in a difficult life situation, where you see one dead end? Exist actionable advice how to proceed in such a case.
1. First of all, try to calm down and stop. No need to quickly rush into the pool with your head and take incomprehensible actions that can lead to more big problems. You need to pause and decide where you are and how you ended up in this position. Take some time to think about why it turned out the way it did, and not completely different. When you can find the entrance, then you will find the exit in one moment.
2. Effective advice on how to get out of the impasse is to get rid of the emotions that overwhelm you at that moment. Fear, anger, disappointment interfere with normal concentration in front of the resulting problem. Often our negative emotions, which are acquiring enormous proportions, we are making an elephant out of a molehill, and it’s done, we don’t see any way out, one dead end. If you want to smash something to smithereens - do it, if you want to scream and swear - go ahead, give vent to your anger, do not keep destructive energy in yourself.
3. When you are overcome by complete devastation, only then will bright thoughts begin to come into your head and everything will become clear from a different angle. Prepare yourself tea with lemon and ginger, or make hot coffee, energy drinks help your brain work faster. Take a piece of paper and start writing down absolutely all ideas for getting out of an impasse, even the most absurd ones, in such cases all means are good.
4. Do not think alone, ask for help from your comrades and close people who have not turned their backs on difficult moment. There is a proverb "One head is good, but two is better." Perhaps they will offer their own options that will be useful to you, because sometimes it is more visible from the outside.
5. The next step will be complete analysis suggested ideas. Consider all the pros and cons. Make three thorough plans to get out of the crisis. Plan A and B are the most effective, and Plan C is the back-up. Clearly thought-out scenarios, several options, give much more percentage of success than one.
6. In a difficult life situation, gather your strength and spirit and begin to put into action your anti-crisis plan. Going step by step, not stepping back, you will achieve what you want and get out of the troubles surrounding your life, and understanding what to do will come by itself.
7. In difficult times, people who care about you and to whom you are very dear will help you survive misfortunes. Don't push them away or isolate them from your society, let them help you. You can even ask them for help yourself, in such situations you understand who the most devoted and faithful people are.
8. In our life, we rely a lot on circumstances, while realizing that they do not bode well. You can't do that. We create our own destiny, so pull yourself together and do not let circumstances take over you.
9. Another in an efficient way how to get out of the impasse, is to exclude people with . In the environment of each person, there is sure to be such a person who will exaggerate and lower faith in yourself. Such people do not see happiness and positive moments, they have only one negative around them. If possible, avoid them, do not let them lower your self-esteem, otherwise, you will panic and give up.
10. When you are in trouble, look for something that will motivate you during the time that you get out of the current situation. Strive to associate with those who believe in you and know that you can withstand any blow.
11. In difficult moments, you should not be afraid to take risks and think about mistakes, everyone has them. It will be stupidity that you will sit idly by. Each of your mistakes will be a lesson from which you will draw useful and necessary information for yourself.
12. Do not listen to those who say that they know how you better live and be. They will constantly remind you and poke you for past mistakes. Send them away from you, let them hang noodles on the ears of others, the same losers as they are. This is your life and only you can decide if you can get out of trouble or not. Believe in yourself and you will succeed. You are not a loser, but a winner!
Good day, our dear readers! Irina and Igor are in touch again. Life is diverse and for each of us, it prepares something “its own”. You never even know what's in store for us. tomorrow not to mention the future. Often life prepares real “trials” for us: tests of our strengths, capabilities, faith, feelings, or something else.
Such difficult situations either make us stronger or completely "break" us. Today we want to discuss the question of how to find a way out of a difficult life situation.
Emotions
Difficult situations happen in the life of each of us, sometimes even too often. But this is not a reason to fall into despair or break up into thousands of actions at the same time. First you need to deal with your emotions.
You should not blame yourself for what happened or accumulate resentment against someone else, as this will not bring you closer to a way out of the current circumstance. But it’s not worth accumulating negative emotions in yourself! Try to take them out in the safest way for yourself or those around you.
For example, go to gym and show the punching bag "who's the boss" or try to throw out your feelings in a picture, on paper, in the sand or with the help of another creative approach.
The method of “shouting” is not very effective. Just try not to use it on loved ones or friends. It is better if you find the object of your angry cry among the stones in nature. You can even draw a face on the stone to make it easier to speak.
hardening
Everyone knows the phrase:
What doesn't kill us makes us stronger!
This is exactly the case here! Difficult situations appear in everyone's life from time to time, and this does not mean that they should be feared or avoided. It just means that life "considers" you as a strong opponent and wants to "test" the depth of your strength!
They say there is a simple truth:
Hard days don't come to those who couldn't handle them!
Remember this in difficult times. Remember that you should not give up even when it seems that "everything is lost." Take the next difficulties of life as a tempering element!
respite
Sometimes, in order not to break firewood, a little respite is required. You should abstract from the problem, try not to think about it for a while. Such a measure is necessary in order to see The best decision in the formed situation.
Go for a walk with the kids or go out into nature, take some time to meditate, or just focus on a hobby that will distract you.
Such actions will help to “get away” from the problem for a while. And returning to it again will provide you with a “new angle” of vision that you can use to get out of this situation for your own benefit.
Flexible Plan
Any "deviation" from the plan drives you into a panic? Do you regard this as an emergency situation that requires a lot of money?
In this case, you only need to improve your skills, structuring tasks and prioritizing. Pay attention to the study of time management techniques that will allow you to become more "flexible" in matters of drawing up plans and controlling the time for their implementation.
You can get acquainted with these techniques with the help of video courses:
- “The master of time is highly productive time management according to the system of Evgeny Popov”
- "Time management, or how to increase your efficiency"
Flow
Part difficult situations may not lend itself to analysis, or you cannot find a way out of such circumstances for a long time. In such cases, it is useful to let everything go by itself.
Perhaps this approach will allow you to relax and discover an unexpected solution. Or the very "flow" of time to correct the current situation in your favor.
It is not necessary to spend this time aimlessly, think about possible consequences or about possible new difficulties. It is useful at this time to evaluate your strengths, capabilities and energy reserves in order to resist everything.
Knowing what can happen and what to do in this case will also be useful. For example, study the book by Leslie Garner, Brian Luke Seaward Crises are life lessons. Life in harmony (set of 2 books)» .
learn a lesson
Every situation in life teaches us something.
Difficult situations teach us even more than the entire school curriculum.
It is important to be able to select for yourself the same important lesson that life has given you. It will become invaluable in terms of building and achieving in your life.
But this does not mean that the main idea of difficulties will be: “I'm not ready! I will never be able to do that!” Not! It's just, “I'm not ready! I need more knowledge to make this happen!”
Never forget about learning and strive to learn more, for example, you can take a free online video course “Setting and achieving goals. How to achieve results in any business? .
How do you deal with difficult life situations? Do you prefer to find a way out or try to "go with the flow"? Share your knowledge.
Perhaps our article will be useful for someone close to you, do not forget to give them a link to read. And we are preparing new ones for you interesting topics so as not to miss - just subscribe to updates! See you soon!
Best regards, Irina and Igor
Ecology of life: Each of us has heard such a phrase - "a hopeless situation" many, many times. Usually in such cases we are talking about something very unpleasant, which, it seems, cannot be avoided.
Each of us has heard such a phrase - "a hopeless situation" many, many times. Usually in such cases it is about something very unpleasant, which, as it seems, cannot be avoided.By itself, a "hopeless situation" is extremely convenient: here is a "hopeless situation" - that's all, and there's nothing to be done. She is like this, she is “hopeless”, and I, good, white and fluffy, have nothing to do with it.
There are no questions, sometimes it really happens, but even in this case it does not at all follow that you are freed from eliminating the consequences of the unfortunate "hopeless situation", and perhaps even the prerequisites for it. Finallyit turns out that your "hopeless situation": firstly, not so hopeless, and secondly, largely depends on you. Ilya Pozhidaevspecially for proposes to consider this question on more or less typical examples ...
Let's imagine a situation: a new management came to the company where you work - and announced a massive "reduction" of a number of employees, and among the unfortunate "reduced" - you. Write "in your own way" - and get out of the company.
The first reaction is, of course, shock and a sense of hopelessness. But then you can pull yourself together and understand what is really happening. If the new boss is still at least minimally adequate, then you can talk with him about what you can agree with him. Look, everything will work out. You will remain, and without squabbles and scandals.
If the newly-minted head of the office directly in your eyes declares that someone's son (for example, his) is planned to take your place, but you still need this office, scare your new boss prosecutor's office, labor inspectorate and something else like that. Especially if you are a punctual and executive employee without any complaints.The boss will be terribly scared and will leave you behind, the guarantee is 146%. And the situation, which at first glance seems fatally insoluble, is actually very solvable, and in a way that is beneficial to you.
Consider a hypothetical second "hopeless" example - betrayal. It doesn't matter whose: wife, mistress, friend, relative, business partner, someone else. And it doesn’t matter what exactly this betrayal was expressed in. There is simply a given: you are faced with the meanness and injustice of a person who is not a stranger to you.
The situation, it would seem, is hopeless, incorrigible, etc. etc. But… First, this is a good tutorial: people need to be at least a little more discriminating. Secondly, this may be a chance to finally get rid of people who are not quite suitable or even completely not suitable for you. And maybe this thirdly, you did something wrong- then just understand that - and try not to do this in dealing with people in the future.
The third hypothetical "hopeless" example - you were robbed or robbed. As you understand, the likelihood that the valiant law enforcement agencies themselves will find the criminal, to put it mildly, is small. Stupor gives way to panic, panic smoothly turns into hysteria. Million stolen. It seemed to be a complete dead end. But no!
First, it is up to you whether you will stir up the appropriate competent law enforcement agency or not (believe me, they are afraid of complaints to the prosecutor's office!). Secondly, when the thief is found (and when competent work authorities, secured, including by you, the scoundrel will certainly be found), you can demand the money stolen from you from the thief. More activity - and it turns out that the situation again has a more or less favorable outcome.
In principle, you can continue indefinitely. General meaning is as follows: if you understand the ins and outs of the “insoluble” situation that has arisen, especially the reasons for its occurrence, and at the same time competently and actively act on your own in a constructive way, the impossible turns out to be few in practice.
Indeed, there is only one totally and obviously hopeless situation - death, including violent (although in some cases it also depends on you whether to wander along dark alleys or not). Well, sometimes there are other, extremely few, processes that develop according to some kind of their own internal logic and, accordingly, do not depend on us at all. To say that in general everything is in our hands is probably still somewhat presumptuous.
This will be of interest to you:
But in general, there is an acceptable way out for you in 99% of cases, no matter how catastrophic the problem seems to you. But even if the development of events stubbornly bumps into that very ill-fated 1%, you can still extract a share of positive even from it if you wish. At least as a life experience.And, for God's sake, do not rush to declare the situation "hopeless": "hopeless situations" are actually very, very few!