Ecology of life: Each of us has heard such a phrase - "a hopeless situation" many, many times. Usually in such cases we are talking about something very unpleasant, which, it seems, cannot be avoided.

Each of us has heard such a phrase - "a hopeless situation" many, many times. Usually in such cases it is about something very unpleasant, which, as it seems, cannot be avoided.By itself, a "hopeless situation" is extremely convenient: here is a "hopeless situation" - that's all, and there's nothing to be done. She is like this, she is “hopeless”, and I, good, white and fluffy, have nothing to do with it.

There are no questions, sometimes it really happens, but even in this case it does not at all follow that you are freed from eliminating the consequences of the unfortunate "hopeless situation", and perhaps even the prerequisites for it. Finallyit turns out that your "hopeless situation": firstly, not so hopeless, and secondly, largely depends on you. Ilya Pozhidaevspecially for proposes to consider this question on more or less typical examples ...

Imagine a situation: a new management came to the company where you work - and announced a massive "reduction" of a number of employees, and among the unfortunate "reduced" - you. Write "in your own way" - and get out of the company.

The first reaction is, of course, shock and a sense of hopelessness. But then you can pull yourself together and understand what is really happening. If the new boss is still at least minimally adequate, then you can talk with him about what you can agree with him. Look, everything will work out. You will remain, and without squabbles and scandals.

If the newly-minted head of the office directly in your eyes declares that someone's son (for example, his) is planned to take your place, but you still need this office, scare your new boss prosecutor's office, labor inspectorate and something else like that. Especially if you are a punctual and executive employee without any complaints.The boss will be terribly scared and will leave you behind, the guarantee is 146%. And the situation, which at first glance seems fatally insoluble, is actually very solvable, and in a way that is beneficial to you.

Consider a hypothetical second "hopeless" example - betrayal. It doesn't matter whose: wife, mistress, friend, relative, business partner, someone else. And it doesn’t matter what exactly this betrayal was expressed in. There is simply a given: you are faced with the meanness and injustice of a person who is not a stranger to you.

The situation, it would seem, is hopeless, incorrigible, etc. etc. But… First, this is a good tutorial: people need to be at least a little more discriminating. Secondly, this may be a chance to finally get rid of people who are not quite suitable or even completely not suitable for you. And maybe this thirdly, you did something wrong- then just understand that - and try not to do this in dealing with people in the future.

The third hypothetical "hopeless" example - you were robbed or robbed. As you understand, the likelihood that the valiant law enforcement agencies themselves will find the criminal, to put it mildly, is small. Stupor gives way to panic, panic smoothly turns into hysteria. Million stolen. It seemed to be a complete dead end. But no!

First, it is up to you whether you will stir up the appropriate competent law enforcement agency or not (believe me, they are afraid of complaints to the prosecutor's office!). Secondly, when the thief is found (and when competent work authorities, secured, including by you, the scoundrel will certainly be found), you can demand the money stolen from you from the thief. More activity - and it turns out that the situation again has a more or less favorable outcome.

In principle, you can continue indefinitely. General meaning is as follows: if you understand the ins and outs of the “insoluble” situation that has arisen, especially the reasons for its occurrence, and at the same time competently and actively act on your own in a constructive way, the impossible turns out to be few in practice.

Indeed, there is only one totally and obviously hopeless situation - death, including violent (although in some cases it also depends on you whether to wander along dark alleys or not). Well, sometimes there are other, extremely few, processes that develop according to some kind of their own internal logic and, accordingly, do not depend on us at all. To say that in general everything is in our hands is probably still somewhat presumptuous.

This will be of interest to you:

But in general, there is an acceptable way out for you in 99% of cases, no matter how catastrophic the problem seems to you. But even if the development of events stubbornly bumps into that very ill-fated 1%, you can still extract a share of positive even from it if you wish. At least as a life experience.And, for God's sake, do not rush to declare the situation "hopeless": "hopeless situations" are actually very, very few!

If you are faced with difficult events and situations that seem to have no visible way out, do not despair and worry. There are no dead ends. Or, in other words, there is always a way out of every situation, even at first glance, a dead end.

The first signal that the situation is reaching a dead end is internal psychological discomfort. If you are already long time experiencing internal experiences, then it's time to stop and think carefully.

To understand the current impasse and find a way out, ask yourself the following questions:

• What could be the true cause of my violation psychological state ? The true cause of problems is not always on the surface. Sometimes, in order to really get to the bottom of the truth, you need a break and time to think about the current situation. Also, the impasse can be caused by other participants, whose role also needs to be considered. Try to analyze your attitude towards each participant and their attitude towards you. Which of them plays a key role? Try to answer yourself as honestly as possible.
• What emotions do you feel towards the events and participants in the situation? Can you control your emotional response to events? Be clear about what emotions you are experiencing: anger, resentment, disappointment, disgust, despair, or some other emotion. Your attitude to current events, as well as your interpretation of the situation, depends on your emotional reaction. For example, you can panic, cry or scream in despair, or you can, on the contrary, highlight the positive moments in any impasse and sincerely laugh at your stupid deeds.
• What other options are there to get out of this impasse?? It cannot be that there are no solutions to your problem. Once again, I repeat, this cannot be. There is always a choice. Sometimes we do it right, sometimes we make mistakes and regret what we did earlier. In order to find a way out of the impasse, it is necessary to identify several options for solving it, choose the best one for today and start acting. You should never delay solving a problem, otherwise the problem can consume you and destroy your spiritual peace. And what to do with the decision if it later turns out to be wrong? It is important that you consider this solution to be the best one for you. this moment, and if later you are not satisfied with the option, it can always be corrected. The main thing is not to sit back and not be discouraged, and the ability to make choices and act will give you confidence.
• What positive experience can be taken from the situation? Even if everything is bad, you will gain experience that will help you not repeat your mistake again. What experience can you take away from the situation? What is it? What is the positive side of the experience? Surely there is something positive in that seemingly impasse in which you find yourself. If you claim that there are no positive aspects in your case, you are mistaken. It's just that your emotions do not give you the opportunity to look at the situation objectively or from the outside. Why don't you take a sheet of paper, divide this sheet into two columns, in one of which indicate everything positive that you can take away from this situation, in the other - everything negative that worries you. Maybe after such an analysis it will be easier for you to make a decision?
• If the situation can't be changed, maybe it's worth just accepting it.? Sometimes it happens that in order to understand and evaluate the situation, it takes time. Sometimes you don’t need to force things, but just wait and let the situation develop in its own way. In these circumstances, your emotions do not solve anything, and their excessive manifestation will not make life easier for you. So why not accept the situation as it is if you can't change it? After all, sometimes accepting a situation requires more courage than taking active steps to change it.

Each person must understand one simple truth A: There are no hopeless situations. All life problems can be solved. When grief happens, it's hard to believe that the pain can subside. But some time passes, and a person learns to live on, accepting reality as it is. How to find a way out of a hopeless situation? Read about it below.

Finding the real problem

A person needs to be aware of true reason his problems. People deceive themselves and do not try to eliminate the cause of their plight, but stubbornly treat the effect. How to find a way out of a hopeless situation? Need to understand how you got in plight and what can make it worse. A person who has experienced some kind of grief (for example, the death of his parents) may think that his life is over. But after all, the problem is not that the parents died, but that the person feels lonely and is afraid to remain useless to anyone. This is the problem that needs to be addressed. When a person admits to himself that he is afraid of loneliness, he can turn to friends or to his soulmate. For a while, the support of another person can be comforting. And then, when the emotions from the loss of relatives subside, a person will need to come to terms with the idea that a person comes to this earth alone and, as a result, also remains alone.

Learn from everything

How to find a way out of a hopeless situation? One of the hardest but effective ways is to understand why fate gave you the opportunity to go through the test. A person is not given such problems that he could not survive. If you had a chance to go through the betrayal of a friend, then you needed to gain this experience. Any person gets exactly the experience that he needs. The person did not live up to your expectations, and you were upset? And who is to blame for this? Only you. Perhaps you are too demanding or you set the bar too high and people can't keep it up all the time. Learn to see something positive in all troubles. After all, life is a school that gives us lessons. Someone studies well, and therefore he has fewer problems in life, and negligent students always have a lot of problems. A person will step on a rake until he hits a bump and remembers that stepping on a rake is not worth it.

Don't look for someone to blame

People like to blame fate or their surroundings for all troubles. Such persons often reproach themselves for their mistakes. This is not worth doing. How to find a way out of a hopeless situation? First of all, you should realize that no one is to blame for your misfortunes. Take adversity and difficult situations as a life lesson or a chance to become better. Even if the fault was committed by your friend, you do not need to swear at him. Close people always do something good for you. Even if they do stupid things, their intentions are always good. Therefore, there is no need to complain that you have a bad environment. After all, right next to you are exactly the people you deserve. Is there something that doesn't suit you? Then change environment. If you want to change something in your life, then change it. But start with yourself. It is foolish to walk around and blame everyone for your failures, life will not change from this.

Brainstorm

How to quickly find a way out of a hopeless situation? One of simple ways- It's brainstorming. How to conduct it correctly? Sit in a quiet room and take a piece of paper. Record the time, no more than ten minutes. Until the alarm rings, you will need to write down options and ways to solve your problem. They may look different. Some of them will seem very sensible to you, while others will be too ridiculous. Write whatever comes to mind. There is no need to evaluate what is happening. You can do this later. In the allotted time, you need to write as many different scenarios as possible.

When the alarm rings, take a break or go about your business. You will need to return to the piece of paper after some time and evaluate what has been written. By reviewing the options for solving the problem, you will definitely find several good ways get out of the impasse, which were not noticed before.

Help a friend

Morning pages or diary

A person must understand that if he does not somehow change his life, then nothing in it will change. Simoron adhered to this opinion. How to find a way out of a hopeless situation? Psychologists say that the best doctor for a person is himself. You can help yourself if you try to get to know yourself better. How to do it? Start writing morning pages. You need to do this immediately after you wake up. Get out of bed and immediately sit down at the table. Don't get up because of him until you've written three pages. What should you write about? About anything. You must put on paper all your problems, fears, desires and unresolved problems. Along the way, you can make all sorts of plans, lists, and even find answers to your own questions. What is the essence of such a miraculous method? After waking up, a person has not yet completely departed from sleep and can maintain contact with his subconscious for some time. It will help answer a lot of questions.

If you don't have time to write in the morning, write in the evening. The diary will work worse than the morning pages, but the principle of working with it is the same. Be sure to set a bar for yourself. For example, do not write less than three pages. Only when you have completely spoken out the paper can you begin to look for a solution to your problems.

Goal setting

Have you heard of conspiracies? It is impossible to find a way out of a hopeless situation in this way. Witchcraft will not help a person. But what will really have a beneficial effect is goal setting. A person who does not know how to live on must come up with the goals of his existence. It can be desires or some kind of mission. Someone wants to make the world a better place, and someone will strive to write a novel or to realize their creative potential in another way.

Goals help a person see the light at the end of the tunnel. When a person knows that a bright future can await her ahead, it is enough just to make an effort, as life begins to play with new colors. When you find yourself in a difficult situation, think about what you have dreamed of all your life. It's time to make the dream come true.

Detailed study of the plan

How to find a way out of a hopeless situation? The advice will be like this. Write a list of goals and desires, and then think about how to make your dream come true step by step. You need to think through everything to the smallest detail. The planning stage cannot be skipped. Why? When a person has a paper with step-by-step actions in front of his eyes, it will be easier to get down to business. The plan helps to calm down and understand that the goal is quite achievable, you just need to make an effort.

The action plan should be as detailed as possible. It is clear that it is impossible to take everything into account. But you have to try. Think ahead of time about what could go wrong and how the mythic problems can be fixed. Having not only a main but also a backup plan, you will be able to act decisively. But always remember that the plan is only an approximate route. Never be afraid to change your plans to suit the situation.

Transition to action

Don't put off making your dreams come true. What to do in a hopeless situation? You should start with one small step. You need to do at least something from your list. And the main thing is regularity. Go to your intended goals. Let the steps be small, but they must be taken every day. Do you want to become a famous artist and get out of a creative block? Draw every day. It may seem to you that your creativity is mediocre. It does not matter. The main thing is that you pick up a pencil and draw every day without exception. Let it be 30 minutes first, then an hour, then three. Do not demand too much from yourself at once. Gradual work on yourself will surely give results.

Get out of your comfort zone more often

What should be the first aid in a hopeless situation? You need to get out of your comfort zone more often. A person who withdraws into himself and his world cannot move on. A person must understand that life goes on, and it can be bright and colorful. But in order to transform your gray everyday life, you need to take action. Sign up for the courses you've been dreaming about for a long time, or do something you'd never have done before. Adrenaline will help you feel the taste of life, and it will be easier for you to rehabilitate. A person who often leaves the comfort zone does not suffer from depression and rarely finds herself in hopeless situations. Why? The fact is that the human brain begins to work differently. He does not perceive difficulties as the end of the world, for him difficulties are interesting task that needs to be resolved in the shortest possible time.

Instruction

Get rid of the victim complex. If you tend to blame everything and everyone for your own failures, then you should learn to take responsibility for own life. The realization that only you can change it, independently choose the path that you will follow, make the only right decision, will help get rid of the psychological fetters that make you believe in your own helplessness and the hostility of the world around you.

Take a breather. Unpleasant news and events can unsettle for a long time. Panic, nervousness, irritation are unlikely to help accept correct solution. Do not make any conclusions in haste, give yourself time to "reboot". Walk down the street, drink a cup of coffee or tea, eat a piece of chocolate - before you act, help yourself to calm down and relax a little.

Find out the source of the negativity. Try to be more specific about your feelings. Resentment? Anger? Fear of the unknown? These emotions are not constructive, and only interfere with adequately perceiving the situation. In any situation, remember that everything passes. And in a month or a year, today's difficulties will seem just everyday troubles.

Understand the situation. Arm yourself with a pen and paper, it is easier to structure thoughts on a sheet than in your own head. First, describe your situation. Then - write down what the worst possible outcome could be. Try to make peace with him. In most cases, knowing even the worst scenario is better than not knowing. Now fix on paper what result will be the most optimal for you. Having decided on this point, draw up an action plan that will help achieve a favorable outcome.

If the situation is such that you cannot predict its development, try, having outlined the likely scenarios and accepting them, just go with the flow. To distract yourself from sad thoughts, do something you love or allow yourself to relax. Remember that every difficult situation gives you invaluable life experience.

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Related article

None of us is immune from periodically getting into a difficult situation. Of course, they are all different, and they also have to be solved. different ways. Sometimes, in order to get out of it, it is enough just to change your view of what happened and, perhaps, slightly change your psychology.

Instruction

Do not hold back your emotions and do not listen to those who advise you to pull yourself together. Throw a tantrum, break a couple of plates, unload, as psychologists advise. Let off steam - stomp, scream, cry, it will cause less than deep feelings.

Do not wind yourself up, do not imagine the consequences that the current situation may entail. Handle troubles as they come. Why suffer in advance about what else might not happen? Do not collect all the problems in a heap, do not suffer more than necessary.

Take a difficult situation as a great opportunity to test your strength and your fighting qualities, because it’s not without reason folk wisdom says: whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger. If there were no difficult situations, we would appreciate happy moments less.

Analyze the situation. Often, we ourselves limit ourselves and take on obligations that are not at all necessary for fulfillment, we believe that we must do something, or, conversely, not do it. The knowledge that these supposed obligations are not fulfilled can poison our existence. Think about it, maybe your difficult situation is connected with this.

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Tip 3: How to stay optimistic in difficult times life situation

Positive can be difficult to maintain in difficult life circumstances. When the circumstances are not the best way, you need to find the strength in yourself to remain an optimist. There are several simple ways to do this. Work on yourself and don't give up.

Set the accents

Try not to focus on the negative, but on positive aspects. Whatever difficult situation no matter where you are, there are probably at least some pleasant moments during the day that you should think about before going to bed.

When you focus only on the bad, you stop seeing reasons to be happy. It is worth shifting your attention to more optimistic moments and it will become easier to stay positive.

Remember what you have in life. Health, home, family, work, friends, pets or hobbies - all this is your wealth. Do not forget to thank life for giving you these blessings.

Set the mood

You can influence your own mood through books or movies. During difficult periods your life, give up watching news and heavy films. Give preference to comedies. Read inspiring or relaxing literature, such as detective stories, humorous stories or fantasy. Depressive romances and crime reports will only increase your stress.

Small pleasures will make your life more pleasant and give you an extra reason to smile. physical comfort, tasty food, pleasant pastime, relaxing massage, walks will help you maintain an optimistic mood.

Choose your environment

Be careful what people are around you most day. Your environment affects your life in general and your mood in particular. When you hang out with optimistic, upbeat people a lot, you get a boost of positivity. Conversely, spending time with negative individuals can lead you to complain, criticize, whine, and see things in a darker light.

act

Do everything in your power to resolve a difficult situation. Don't give up, but work on getting out of predicament. Try, and you will have a reason to be proud of yourself, which means to be in a good mood. When a person does not realize his own potential and gives up, he already feels unhappy because of this.

In addition, thanks to your efforts, a difficult situation may soon change in better side. Then there will be no cause for concern.

Get rid of the negativity

Watch your words and thoughts. Don't let negativity show up in them. This is especially true for self-criticism. Remember to love yourself, not blame yourself. Think about your accomplishments and strengths. Praise and encourage yourself. Then it will be easier for you to overcome all the difficult moments on the path of life.

How many times do we mentally return to the time when it was possible to “lay straws”, but we did not. And now, we are faced with an unthinkable task - to find a way out of a difficult situation. Our brain is feverishly looking for options for the development of events, trying not only to find the cherished “door”, but also to act in such a way as not to “lose face”.

For some, a hopeless situation is like a labyrinth in which a person wanders in search of a solution to a problem. It seems to others that the earth is gone from under their feet, and they fly into the abyss. Each person perceives differently. However, always ask yourself the question: “What to do?” But never look for those responsible for your problem. In the first place, only you yourself are to blame for what happened to you. Do not waste your efforts on unnecessary clarification of the relationship, direct them towards making constructive decisions.

Remember how Nikolai Fomenko said about hopeless situations? Ingenious saying: "Even if you are eaten, there are always two ways out." Therefore, remember the exit rules difficult situation:

You are already inside this problem, it is impossible to avoid it, and you will not be able to return to the starting point.

Ask for help from acquaintances or friends. It might be easier for you to describe your problem to a stranger who will give you good advice.

Many people are used to solving their problems on their own. If you are one of them, close the doors, turn on soft music, and start looking for a way out. Do not force yourself to go "on a bow" to strangers. If you do not want someone else to take part in solving the problem, you do not need to. Do it yourself.

Breathing exercises.

Being in search of a way out of the situation, a person stays in. At this point, his blood pressure rises, his heart beats wildly, sweating increases, and so on. Right now you need the skills breathing exercises(yoga, tai chi). It's fine if you already own them, but it's never too late to start learning.

Nature has a relaxing effect on nervous system person. This is especially true of large open reservoirs. Therefore, try to leave all worries behind and go for a walk to the lake. Sit, think, look at the water surface, swans and ducks swimming on it. Try to dive into the water yourself. If it happens in summer, then a river or lake will do, if in winter - a pool. As a last resort, lie down in the bathtub, into which you drop a few drops of vanilla and rosemary. Water helps to concentrate, discard all unnecessary, and come to the right decision.

Physical Education.

In order to feel in good shape every day, it is not necessary to play sports to the point of exhaustion. To focus your thoughts on the problem, engage in monotonous, not difficult activities. For example, put things in order in the house, in the garage or pantry.

Have you abandoned embroidery or knitting for a long time, because you simply didn’t have enough time for it? Find it now. Be sure to do something pleasant and useful for yourself. Finally, if you have never had this hobby, go to the cinema,.

Be healthy.

Of course, there is no direct relationship between the search for a way out and the state of your health. But in order to make good use of the time that you spend looking for a way out of the situation, health prevention is well suited. Each person thinks that tomorrow or the day after tomorrow he will go to the doctor and improve his health, which has been shaken over the years. But that tomorrow or the day after tomorrow may never come. Therefore, choose the moment when you feel too sorry for yourself, so you need to do something nice for your own body.

Of course, men will now laugh. But, don't be fooled! They love it too feminine word. Buy what you have been wanting for so long. Please your loved one, because today it took too much to find a way out of the situation. Have you been staring at those red shoes in the window for a long time? Buy them, finally, amuse your pride. Do you like alloy wheels that will look so great in the overall design of the car? Do not deny yourself anything! The joy of buying is above all! And in the evening, when the euphoria subsides, and only a feeling of deep satisfaction remains, start looking for solutions again.

Every person in this life has a dream of an intangible plan. For some, this is a trip to the opera, others want to be on the ocean shore under the moonlight, others dream, finally, of going to their parents in the village.

Life is too fleeting, and dreams remain unfulfilled. Therefore, if you have a financial opportunity, drop everything and go on an adventure or to mom and dad. At one fine moment, you realize that it was this trip or hike that became the starting point from which the process began, during which you found a way out of a conflict or other unpleasant situation.

Now it doesn't mean the people who have become your friends. Let's talk about pets. Everyone thinks that it would be possible to have a pet. Maybe that moment has come? Today he will please you with his presence, and will not give up after stress, and tomorrow you will become for him best friend. Now you just need to choose who it will be - a puppy, a kitten, a parrot or silent fish.

Think about the problem, don't discount it. She will not go anywhere without your participation. After all, it is only yours, and no one can solve it for you. However, do not go in a vicious circle, do not drive yourself into a corner, and even more so, into stress. Try to align your thoughts