And no matter what happens, keep your promises. If a man did not keep his promise. Why am I saying all this? That's what

For a long time, there has been a law among men: if you can call it that, no one can know why they do not keep their promises. In fact, this is actually true, because practically everyone knows that most men do not keep their promise or simply simply forget about what they promised, and then they will start to get out, thereby deceiving you.

There are other opinions, and it is impossible to divide people into different characters. Women do not keep their promises, not only men. Let's stop being frank, because a woman also loves to tell a story, embellish it, gossip. And then all you hear is: "Mine did not fulfill what he promised." If you think about it in reality, then men don’t talk about this at all. But if we started talking about this topic, then it is worth continuing.

Let's try to figure out the reason for everything, but it will be difficult to do this. It can be called a special science, which for the most part we will not overcome. If we can understand it, or at least partially understand its mechanism, then we can also partially get rid of the illusion, especially if it haunts you. If you can get rid of this kind of illusion, you will thereby also get rid of the burden of experience, of everything that goes after them. Let's try to start from the very beginning so that it doesn't turn out to be porridge.

Find someone who enjoys being forced to do something. Naturally, no one likes this, and especially there are people who are extremely annoyed by this. If you find a man who can do this, and even more so if he has no desire for it, then believe that he will not put his soul into it. If we take a different situation, then ideally he himself should reach this point, and he himself should want it. If this did not happen in the end, then on, then you and the woman are to push him on the right path, and make sure that what you have in mind becomes his desire. Always try to do such actions correctly, as a lot can depend on this. In the end, everything should turn out exactly the way you wanted. You can give your husband an ultimatum or demonstrate feminine gentleness, using psychology and tricks.

In such a situation, you need to find a moment. There are times when both moments can be good at the same time. The main thing here is not to confuse them, and not to aggravate the situation that has arisen using the completely wrong method. Hoping that the husband will certainly keep this promise is not worth it. Men have a law: "Promise and not keep what you promised." This law has been confirmed more than once.

For example: a girl is waiting for a good moment when her lover or husband fails her “task” and eventually says: “But I knew that you couldn’t be trusted with anything.” Such an action in the future will definitely push him to keep the promise. In another way, he will take revenge and prove that he knows how to keep his word. As a result, it will demonstrate the possibilities and strengths. Or he doesn’t want to disappoint her, thereby starting to help her in everything she asks.

If you take it from a different point of view, then you can always listen to what the husband says, eventually believing in the reason for his failure to fulfill the promise. Then say: “Well, of course!”. Naturally, he may say that he did not want to, but such an answer will no longer be masculine. You will tell him in response that this is not at all masculine. He will definitely remember this for a long time. If he can bring serious arguments and say that he can fulfill the promise, but later, then you can safely know that you conquered him. After all, everything can be reached with a calm conversation and a simple conversation. Rather than start immediately yelling at him, thereby forgetting that he is your husband. If next time this happens again, you can safely remind him of this, or say that no one pulled his tongue when he made a promise. Since you promised, please do it!

Understanding that a man does not keep what he promised can sometimes be wrong, because sometimes he does it only because he does not want to offend his beloved, and therefore he promises, doing so so as not to offend or upset her. The reason for this is love. After all, to see how his beloved is offended, and to become sad, immediately throws many tasks on herself, which in the end she cannot do. Of course, this does not justify a man, but it happens. If you have a similar case, then the chance that he will fulfill the promise is zero.

You must clearly understand all aspects of human choice, and if he promised, while there was no pressure from your side on him, then let him do it.

What you read, in fact, may not always be feasible, because a lot depends on the specific situation. You should not forget about male friendship. You appointed him a trip to a cafe for a certain time, and on the way to him he met a very close or old friend. Of course, he will not change this for you, but he will also need to talk a little with him, ask about his life. In essence, this is correct. Most likely, in his place, you would have done the same, but there is a huge difference between you. If it were your husband, he would not have said a word to you on this occasion, but on the contrary, you began to oppress him, having previously been upset.

Consider also another point: the interval between which the time passes until the “signing of a certain agreement” and the implementation plan, all this time you give a kind of credit of trust. During this time, he feels as if he has already fulfilled what he promised, and that you will treat him well.

Here, by analogy, the principle of drugs is used, he first gets high, and only then comes withdrawal. Breaking by the way will be in both cases.

From what I've read, it's time to draw a conclusion.

All men are not robots. Everything they do according to your requirements is what they can do and sometimes so as not to upset you. Often they fail to do so. If he can't do something, don't demand it from him. Here the point is not in the task, and not in its complexity, and even more so not in the time frame in which he will need to do it.

Men lack women's faith. Sex and food are not all they need. They want to understand and know exactly what you are proud of and appreciate. Give them a break at least sometimes, and he will always try to please you with his actions.

I had a friend. One day he says to me: “Lend me some money. Seven thousand rubles.

It happened at the beginning of the 2000s, the amount at that time was considerable. Or does it feel like that to me now? Not important. Most importantly, he took the money and disappeared. Despite the fact that before that we communicated almost daily, on the whole we got along, and in general, nothing foreshadowed. However, he disappeared. Not immediately, but, as it should be in such cases, gradually.

The scenario was standard: at first - assurances that he would give it back soon, then he stopped picking up the phone when I called him. Called back less and less, began to ignore my text messages and slowly but surely descended from the horizon.

The nuance is that, with all our close communication, I did not know where he works (they talked about something else), and it was difficult and somehow stupid to guard him at the house on the other side of the city. We also didn't have any mutual friends. In short, everything is one to one. And now half a year passes, I already begin to forget (without leaving, however, the dream of breaking his arms and legs), how Seryozha calls. He asks for forgiveness without explaining - to his credit - the reasons, since any explanation in such a situation would be a senseless lie, even if it turned out to be true. He assures that he will return the money - with excusable interest in excess of what was taken. On Thursday, after eight, you will be at home, I will call? Yes, I will answer. Great, he says. Sorry again.

Eight months later. I cross the road, and the first in the far right lane in front of the traffic lights is his car. I unfold Vedomosti, put it on the hood and sit on top. "Give me my money, I'm waiting," I say. He gets out, takes out his wallet, digs, pulls out half the amount. No, they say, forgive me, and that's what it is. The rest when I ask - and I understand that it is useless: everything will be as it was before. I'll give it to you by the end of the week, he says. And got back into the car.

What could I do? Give him a face? It would be nice. I tried. True, when I grabbed the door, it turned out that it was blocked. I had to hammer on this very door with my foot, leaving a decent dent. These are your pardonable percentages, I say. He, without opening the window, read his lips and drove off.

In this story, only one thing is surprising - Sergey turned out to be not who I thought he was. Everything else is generally understandable. It is interesting, however, that the question is - why appear after six months, if it is already clear that there will be no money? - arose only in women to whom I told this story. Moreover, they reacted very emotionally, and Sergei caused them, as a rule, terrible, burning hatred. Okay, I took it and didn’t return it, but why call and promise if you still deceive, they said, referring not so much to me as to their heartfelt, as I understand it, experience. Simply put, they projected the classic money scam onto the male scam in general.

What could I say to them? That their question is rhetorical and eternal? That making promises is more dangerous than not wanting to make them? That promises are a credit of trust, which, although taken on favorable terms - without interest - still remains a loan. And this, as you know, is a scheme in which the one who took it will always be glad not to return what was taken. And the creditor will inevitably begin to cause irritation.

Here you also need to keep in mind the difference between the promises that men make to each other and the promises to women. In the first case, the failure to fulfill the promise is just a fact in itself, in the second - a fact and a bunch of aggravating circumstances: where he promised, how he looked, how many days (exact number) he didn’t call, what he was wearing (“that idiotic green hat of his ... that's how I felt, you can't trust a man in a hat like that!").

“Women talk to each other the same way men talk to men. But women always pay attention to details” - Amy Winehouse was right three hundred times.

A woman wants to take a word from a man, she often insists and at the same time always admits that she will be deceived. Such, you know, the feverish trembling of a card player who put everything on the line and follows the distribution. "Fulfill the promise" - one of the fetishes of the weaker sex in relation to the stronger sex, an important item on the list of traits of the ideal Him, well, you know, "a real man always keeps his word."

It is, in general, correct and understandable: the one who can be responsible for his words is cool and wide-backed (which, of course, any woman really wants to hide behind, even if she herself goes to the inspection and mastered the iPad without outside help). At the same time, the inability to keep promises is almost the main complaint against men. Google the keywords "man" and "promises" - the three most popular options will automatically appear in the window: "man does not keep promises", "man does not keep promises" and - only the third number - "man keeps promises". Moreover, if you break through this most optimistic option, links to texts with the headings “Why men do not keep their promises”, “Empty and false promises of men about love supposedly loved ones ...” and “How to make a man keep his promises” will fall out. Hmmm, that's it, reputation.

Not for the purpose of self-defense, but I note: most often a man promises something that he will not fulfill, for two reasons: in an effort to wishful thinking (to show himself better than he really is, to get the notorious credit of trust) or hoping to get away from the conflict, hoping to put out the fire with the magic words "I promise". Although no, I’m lying, there is a third reason, and it is very important. This is female pressure. It sounds pathetic, but nevertheless, let's admit, girls, that you often put pressure on us, creating a situation in which it is almost impossible not to promise. Although no one argues, the man has his own head on his shoulders, and if he blurted out something without thinking, under the influence of the moment, this hardly justifies him.

I'm not saying that every empty promise we make is the woman's fault, and, of course, the man who hung noodles on the lady's ears takes full responsibility for what was said. However, female blackmail, often, perhaps, and unreasonable, is a common thing. Tears, pouting lips. Offended tone. Denial of sex. Anything goes. I am wrong?

While you're throwing rocks at me, I'll tell you a story. Unfortunately, there are enough examples of classic male deception in every woman’s memory, so I won’t add fuel to the fire. My story - with a happy ending, which, however, no one expected.

A friend of mine dated a girl for several years. Oddly enough, the girl did not really dream of marriage, but she wanted a child. And slowly but surely led to that. The friend recoiled. It’s not that he didn’t want to, it’s not that he didn’t love his girlfriend - well, he was just afraid of the unknown, which is why he hesitated. But the nuts were tightened, and at some point there was nowhere to retreat.

One fine winter night - again under the influence of the moment - my friend promised that he would give his beloved everything she wanted for her birthday. A friend wanted a child. Okay, the friend said and began to count how much he had left to live. Birthday was scheduled for December 15th. There were two weeks left. Of course he deceived her.

Conception did not happen. What he said there, what reasons he composed, is not important now. The main thing is that the project did not take place. There was a hell of a scandal, a friend packed up and left. On New Year's Eve, they crossed paths in the apartment of mutual friends, and the friends specially arranged everything - they invited both. Friends, on the one hand, behaved incorrectly, interfered in someone else's personal life, but, on the other hand, they did everything right. In short, the couple met, quarreled again, and reconciled closer to the morning. They still conceived a child - however, almost a year later, in November, and this is the very case when it is better to be late. Why is it better late?

Because the new year was 1998. There was a default in August. Both lost their jobs. By November, things had more or less improved - not that the work was decent, but it was drawn in principle, which was already cool in that situation. Then everything began to improve and by the summer almost returned to its original positions. Their son was born in July 1999. And could - if they had conceived on December 15, 1997 - be born understandably when, consider for yourself. Not keeping his word, my friend got into big problems, but avoided even bigger ones: giving birth to a child in the midst of a crisis is, you know, not a fountain.

Of course, this is just an accident, an exception to the rule, which does not at all justify the failure to comply with this word, but the winners are not judged, right?

Barbra Streisand once said, "I could put together a whole book of promises men made to me in bed." Remember these golden words, and your life will be much easier.

And finally. If a man promises and NEVER keeps his word, this is a diagnosis. Draw conclusions as quickly as possible. If slips happen...well, they just happen, you have to be careful in your judgments here. And consider each mistake separately.

Yes, and I have a request for you - well, don't push me. And then we know these bends of female logic.

She is: I want this and that.

He: I can not. (Tears, lips, denial of sex.)

He: OK then.

She is: Promise?

He:(with a sigh) Yes.

He did not keep his promise.

She is: You lied to me! Why?

He: Because you pressured me!

She is: SO YOU SHOULD NOT GIVE IN! WOULD STAND ON YOUR OWN! OR YOU ARE NOT A MAN?

After all, women are fantastic creatures. Thank you for being you.

PS. The friend that was discussed at the beginning, the one who threw me for money, many years later was left without a business. He lent everything he had, hoping to get a solid commission. And he did not receive anything - neither commission, nor what he gave. It's not my fault. But when I found out, as you understand, I did not cry. Still, a credit of trust, hmm, a thin thing.

Women believe that men very rarely keep their word and keep their promises. It turns out that they are simply deceiving, which gives the ladies a lot of painful experiences. What is the reason for such behaviour?

As you know, few people like to be forced to do something. And if, at the same time, they are also luring the “word of honor” from him, then it is unlikely that the representative of the stronger sex will fulfill the promise with pleasure and putting his soul into it. In order for a man to fulfill his promises, he, ideally, must come to this himself and wish for it. If this does not work out, then a wise woman can direct her beloved so that he himself makes the right decision. By applying women's cunning and knowledge of male psychology, you can achieve wonderful results.

Sometimes men can simply forget about the promise, earning money, for example. He needs to be reminded of this next time. Often the representatives of the stronger sex can promise something in order not to upset their beloved. They do not want to see their other half sad and sad. This, of course, does not justify their irresponsible attitude.

It is important to remember that the promise that was squeezed out of a man by a woman will never be fulfilled. Each person has the right to choose, and it must always be understood that a word that is given under some kind of pressure should not have the right to be implemented.

Everything depends on the situation. For example, a man promised to go to a cafe or to the cinema, but suddenly a friend called him asking for help. Male friendship is sacred, and there can be no doubt about priority. A woman in this case, most likely offended and will not understand.

Often men can promise their ladies to do something for a specific time, and then just remember about it two hours later. The woman will wait all this time and be very angry. Therefore, for men who have problems with punctuality, it is better to speak in abstract phrases, for example, the other day, evening, next month, etc.

It is better for women not to bother too much on this topic. So they can not only make life easier, but also build relationships on a deeper level. You have to learn to accept men for who they are. And if something specifically does not suit you, what to discuss it with your loved one until he understands. When he does not understand, but it hurts you to the core with every failure to fulfill a promise, then perhaps you need to look for someone more efficient and reliable.

Do not ask a man for too much. It is better to think about why he does not have serious motivation to fulfill the promise. Perhaps men simply lack women's faith in their strength and reliability.

“I could make a whole book out of the promises that men made to me in bed,” said Barbara Streisand. It must be admitted that there really is a category of men who generously give out promises, and are not limited to the bedroom: “I will call you / Of course, we will get married! / Yes, I will buy you a fur coat / Of course, I will come to dinner / Today I will hang this picture " . Hit of all times and peoples: "I promise, this will not happen again." Why men do not keep their word and is it worth waiting for the promised three years.

We begin to believe in the promises made to us since childhood - when dad promises a beautiful doll for the New Year, and Santa Claus guarantees that he will definitely appear again next year. When Santa Claus does not come, and instead of a doll a tiny baby doll sits under the tree, disappointment sets in. It is noteworthy that there is no analogue of the phrase “a man said, a man did” regarding a woman. Specialists explain the specific attitude to the word given by a man by sociocultural norms. “A man is a structuring principle, he builds the structure of the world. And the structure is something that you can rely on,” psychologist Alena Sagadeeva philosophizes. “These are traditionally social and gender roles, in accordance with which boys and girls are brought up,” adds Igor Pozhidaev, a psychotherapist at the Sibneiromed center. “People are expected to live up to the ideas they’ve been taught.”

But some, apparently, still inspired something else. Conventionally, men who make empty promises can be divided into three categories.

Liar, liar. This is a real liar, manipulator and cunning. He knows what he wants and achieves it in every possible way, including making promises that are expected of him and that he will never fulfill.
. Aspiring. The second category is men who do it unconsciously. “Such men want to look better than they are. They are aspiring, but not moving,” says Alena Sagadeeva. They make promises not because they want to deceive - they just want it to be so in reality, so they themselves begin to sincerely believe in it, infecting their interlocutors with their faith. If such a man is convicted of a discrepancy between words and deeds, he will very sadly shrug, ask for forgiveness and promise that this time he will try to do everything right.
. Offended. The most amazing character. It differs from the previous one in excessive touchiness and defiant removal of responsibility. "Why aren't you looking for a job? You promised, ”they are interested in him for the fifth time. And he explodes with righteous anger, managing to give a dozen arguments in favor of the fact that he has nothing to do with it and is generally deeply offended by the very posing of the question.

Between word and deed
If you delve into a man's head, most often the reasons for such irresponsibility are associated with an attempt to escape - fear of punishment, a desire to avoid a scandal or reassure someone who is happy to be deceived.

“The most important thing is that inside this person there is a certain conflict between what he really wants and what others expect from him, to whom he makes these promises,”

says Alena Sagadeeva. He may know that he wants something else, or he may sincerely believe that he wants the same thing that they do, although in reality this is not so. Ultimately, in order not to create excessive tension in the relationship, he promises what he does not really want. What does he really want then? According to Ms. Sagadeeva, unlike a woman who wants stability, a man, first of all, seeks freedom. How he will react to the restriction in the most basic need depends on education and fortitude, but the reaction in one form or another will follow immediately. Empty promises are one of them.

The second need that must be satisfied (here regardless of gender) is the need for love, acceptance and respect.

In response to his promise, the man receives certain bonuses - the fur coat has not yet been bought, the nail has not yet been hammered - and the woman is already smiling, already grateful in advance and inspiring for further verbal exploits.

Also, show me a woman who does not want to hear that everything will be fine and all wishes will come true? Even if it's hard to believe, even if all previous experience suggests otherwise, you still really want to.

What to do?
It is difficult to resist the question “Why didn’t you warn again?”, It is difficult to resist irony in response to another promise from a person who does not keep his word. The only thing you can do in this situation is to try again to voice how you feel - in some cases, the quantity factor works. And most importantly - for yourself to understand what you personally do in order to get the attitude that you get. This will surely anger many women, but it happens that they themselves regularly insist, push through their desires, preventing a man from expressing himself the way he wants.

Analyzing in which column of merits you made a mistake, you can find the treasured key that will open the veil of secrecy and put everything in its place.

“As a rule, the problem is in the mismatch of values ​​- for a man one thing is valuable, and for a woman another, these are different things and they do not intersect.

On the other hand, if a man regularly makes promises, but does not fulfill them, then this is not the right man - this is especially difficult to believe, ”says Alena Sagadeeva. It is possible, according to experts, to change the current model of behavior, but it is difficult. “It requires quite a lot of effort,” Igor Pozhidaev believes. “And here you need to correctly assess the situation, understand whether to fight for your happiness or just find it in the form in which it already exists.”

If you don’t want to break off the relationship, you should again ask yourself the question - what will happen if he never fulfills what he promises? Would you like to be with him in this case? If not, then you should stop entertaining yourself with illusions. And if so, to hell with her, with a fur coat and an unhammered nail.

Valeria Belenkaya

What to do if you have mutual feelings with a woman from another city?

Question:
I met a woman online, we corresponded, called each other on Skype, in general we like each other and our positions in life are similar. We already feel some kind of feeling, if not love, then falling in love. This is noticeable both in the messages and in the atmosphere. What should we do? Confuses the distance, we are in different cities. Volgograd and Astrakhan.

Alexander Biryukov's answer:

The question is not just common in our network age, but one of the most relevant. I get asked almost every week.

Distance is the weakest factor that should not bother anyone at all in our time. I would understand if you were in different countries at different ends of the world. Or at least you are in a taiga village 100 km from Yakutia, and she is on a farm in the Kaliningrad region. But there is a train between Astrakhan and Volgograd! 10 hours - and you are together!

What to do? The scheme is like this. I didn’t come up with it, but I put it together from rational pieces and thought out the steps just me. I warn you that this is a general scheme. And each case requires adjustment in one direction or another. But the scheme is working.

After you have received primary and even in-depth information in your case in the process of correspondence and Skype conversations, you need to meet in real life. The matter is facilitated by the fact that you already know each other relatively well, are used to each other. Already experiencing mutual warm feelings. This means that you will no longer be strangers to each other, you will feel comfortable together immediately after the meeting.

Before all this, it is better to try to make inquiries about the woman. It is not necessary to delve into some intimate details of life. The main thing is that she should not be a slut / prostitute, an alcoholic, a drug addict, a mentally ill person, a judge, and that all this should not happen to her closest relatives. Everything else will be seen in real life by her behavior.

Meeting in real life is better not to delay. As soon as you both understand that you care about each other, already plan a meeting. Let's say in a couple of weeks. While the time is right, the acquaintance will deepen, and the feelings will strengthen. You will meet almost native people.

The meeting in real life should be relatively long. Not one night, but at least three or four days, if possible, then more. What for? See the person, his behavior. In all aspects: the ability to create comfort in a couple, the ability to do household chores, compatibility in sex and much more. You see how the woman's behavior corresponds to what she wrote and said online.

Where and how to invite? Here you decide for yourself. If one of you lives alone, then the second can come to him. If both live with relatives, then you can rent at least a small apartment somewhere on the outskirts of the city. It will not cost so much, but it will be your first (and possibly not the last) joint home. Expenses - by agreement. If both work, you can split in half. Or a visitor pays for tickets, and a local pays for housing.

When to do it? If people of free professions or in general can dispose of themselves, then at any time. If someone (or both) works on a tight schedule, then there are holidays: New Year's, February 23, March 8, there will soon be long May holidays. Summer vacation. You can take days off and add to the weekend. In general, a solution can always be found.

You met and everything went well. You are happy with each other. What's next? It is better to repeat such a meeting after a short period of time. You can now go to another city, meet your parents. You can do this a couple more times if in doubt. But don't pull. Any delay in a relationship blurs the matter.

Between trips, you actively communicate on Skype. These are the same dates, the same communication and getting used to each other, like walking in the park.

When the trips are over, the main thing is not to be stupid, but to take the bull by the horns. to move in. Reader, you are a man, and therefore you take on decision-making. Thinking about where you will live. If there is a free apartment - in it. If there is a parental apartment, they rent it out and live on this money (+ pension) - rent it from their parents for the same amount. And parents will not be offended, and you are better off than wiping other people's corners from other people's owners. If this is not the case, then simply rent a small, inexpensive apartment and live.

After thinking through all this, you inform the woman that she is moving in with you. Now it's time to stop shaking your ears. If she says she can't, find out why. If she is a top manager or a deputy, then the move is, of course, difficult. Not everyone will leave such a trump card. If a teacher or a hairdresser, then let him not drive bullshit. You can get a job as a teacher and a hairdresser everywhere, not such a unique profession and position. Studying - transfer to a similar university in your city. My students, even in the most bureaucratically complicated medical university, married military men and easily transferred to other universities. If you are a part-time student, there is nothing to talk about at all. Translation is done even in the middle of the semester in a few days. And so that she is less driven, you will help her on the spot and transfer and find a job. you are a native, you have an advantage. Use it for your woman.

If she is a freelancer and works remotely, then there is nothing to talk about at all.

Missing mom and dad is not a problem. That's Skype. The main thing is that she should not be psychologically dependent on them, and that her father-in-law and mother-in-law should not try to control you and personally control you through this Skype. Your family must live autonomously. And in it the leader is you, not her parents. In your family, from now on, the law is your word. She must understand and accept this.

If a woman loves you, she will only be glad that you showed perseverance and determination in actions. I went through a lot of problems and found a solution. He did not mumble, smear the snot with his fist, but simply took it and did it.

Just don't act like insecure men. No need to dump a bunch of these questions, doubts on her head. Where to live, how to live, etc. No need to discuss all this with her for a long time and tediously. I thought about all the options - I found the best one - I put it before the fact. In extreme cases - a choice of a couple of alternatives. You are a man, and you still make the decision. So why procrastinate the topic? Be firm and don't be afraid to make decisions.

So all the paddocks are a waste of time. Distance, different cities - such a minor problem in our mobile age that it's even embarrassing to talk about it. Everything that I have described is very easy to implement if you take it for granted. The main thing is not to slow down, to be decisive and firm.

It's really simple. Believe me.

Of course, this is a general scheme, and some special cases will need to be adjusted.

Answers to additional questions that arise from readers.

1. It makes sense to maintain long-distance love only if you have real and serious intentions for a woman. They are determined after a relatively long communication by correspondence and after Mandatory repeated communication in Skype .

I repeat once again that communication on Skype is an analogue of a regular date without sex. Like a walk in the park. Both interlocutors see each other, can appreciate the appearance, voice, manners and everything else that everyone needs. Even the sincerity of words can be checked when you see the interlocutor. The fake is easy to read. In addition, now webcams have good resolution, and you can see a person as if he is sitting opposite at the table. So, correspondence and especially Skype will give you the opportunity to get to know each other as if you had been dating for some time. You can and SHOULD clarify all aspects regarding your and her mood for the future. Attitude to family model, marriage, children, budget, family hierarchy, etc. So that you can meet already without misunderstandings, almost native people.

As you can see, starting all this just for the sake of sex makes no sense. At least in my opinion. Long-distance love is long and much more labor-intensive than finding a slut in your city. Long-distance love should be started only if there is a real soul mate on the other end. At the very least, I would never bother with all this for the sake of a one-time adventure. Write, call, share your views, somehow get used to it - and all for the sake of sex alone, and even then for a short time, for a couple of days? It just isn't worth it. In addition, there is so much sex now that it is not difficult to find it. Right in your city.