Humorous stories for high school students. Humorous children's stories

Tales - poetic stories about extraordinary events and adventures, with the participation of fictional characters. In modern Russian, the concept of the word "fairy tale" has acquired its meaning since the 17th century. Until that moment, the word "fable" was supposedly used in this meaning.

One of the main features of a fairy tale is that it is always based on an invented story, with happy ending where good triumphs over evil. The stories contain a certain hint, which enables the child to learn to recognize good and evil, to comprehend life on illustrative examples.

Children's fairy tales read online

Reading fairy tales is one of the main and milestones on your child's path to life. A variety of stories make it clear that the world around us is quite contradictory and unpredictable. Listening to stories about the adventures of the main characters, children learn to appreciate love, honesty, friendship and kindness.

Reading fairy tales is useful not only for children. Having matured, we forget that in the end, good always triumphs over evil, that all adversity is unimportant, and the beautiful princess is waiting for her prince on a white horse. give a little Have a good mood and plunge into the fairy-tale world quite simply!

Interesting and funny stories about children. Stories for children by Viktor Golyavkin. Stories for younger schoolchildren and middle school age.

We made the original costumes - no one else will have them! I will be a horse, and Vovka a knight. The only bad thing is that he should ride me and not me on him. And all because I'm a little younger. True, we agreed with him: he will not ride me all the time. He rides me a little, and then he gets down and leads behind him, like horses are led by the bridle. And so we went to the carnival. They came to the club in ordinary costumes, and then changed and went out into the hall. I mean, we moved in. I crawled on all fours. And Vovka was sitting on my back. True, Vovka helped me - he touched the floor with his feet. But it still wasn't easy for me.

And I haven't seen anything yet. I was wearing a horse mask. I couldn't see anything at all, even though there were holes in the mask for the eyes. But they were somewhere on the forehead. I crawled in the dark.

Bumped into someone's legs. He ran into a convoy twice. Sometimes I shook my head, then the mask moved out, and I saw the light. But for a moment. And then it's dark again. I couldn't keep shaking my head!

I saw the light for a moment. And Vovka didn’t see anything at all. And all the time he asked me what was ahead. And asked to crawl more carefully. And so I crawled carefully. I didn't see anything myself. How could I know what was ahead! Someone stepped on my arm. I stopped right now. And he refused to move on. I told Vovka:

- Enough. Get off.

Vovka probably liked the ride, and he didn't want to get off. He said it's still early. But still he got down, took me by the bridle, and I crawled on. Now it was easier for me to crawl, although I still could not see anything.

I offered to take off the masks and look at the carnival, and then put on the masks again. But Vovka said:

“Then they will recognize us.

“It’s probably fun here,” I said. “Only we don’t see anything ...”

But Vovka walked in silence. He was determined to endure to the end. Get first prize.

My knees hurt. I said:

- I'm going to sit on the floor.

Can horses sit? - said Vovka. - You're crazy! You are a horse!

“I am not a horse,” I said. “You are a horse yourself.

“No, you’re a horse,” Vovka replied. “Otherwise we won’t get a bonus.”

“Well, let it be,” I said. “I'm tired of it.

"Be patient," said Vovka.

I crawled up to the wall, leaned against it and sat on the floor.

- You sit? Vovka asked.

"I'm sitting," I said.

“All right,” agreed Vovka. “You can still sit on the floor. Just don't sit on a chair. Do you understand? A horse - and suddenly on a chair! ..

Music blared all around, laughing.

I asked:

- Will it end soon?

"Be patient," said Vovka, "probably soon..."

Vovka also could not stand it. Sat on the sofa. I sat next to him. Then Vovka fell asleep on the couch. And I fell asleep too.

Then they woke us up and gave us a bonus.

YANDREEV. Author: Victor Golyavkin

Everything happens because of the name. I'm alphabetically first in the magazine; just about anything, they call me right away. That's why I study the worst. Here Vovka Yakulov has all fives. With his last name, this is not difficult - he is on the list at the very end. Wait to be called. And with my surname you will disappear. I began to think what I should do. At dinner I think, before going to bed I think - I just can’t think of anything. I even climbed into the closet to think that I would not be disturbed. This is what I came up with in the closet. I come to the class, I say to the guys:

- I'm not Andreev now. I am Yaandreev now.

- We have known for a long time that you are Andreev.

- No, - I say, - not Andreev, but Yaandreev, on "I" begins - Yaandreev.

- Nothing is clear. What kind of Yaandreev are you when you are just Andreev? There are no such names at all.

- Who, - I say, - does not happen, but who does. This let me know.

“It’s amazing,” says Vovka, “why you suddenly became Yaandreev!”

“You will see,” I say.

I go up to Alexandra Petrovna:

- I have, you know, the thing is this: I have now become Yaandreev. Is it possible to change the journal so that I start with "I"?

- What tricks? - says Alexandra Petrovna.

“It's not a trick at all. It's just very important to me. Then I'll be an excellent student.

A short story with a lot of meaning is much easier for a child to master than a long story with several themes. Start reading with simple sketches and move on to more serious books. (Vasily Sukhomlinsky)

Ingratitude

Grandfather Andrey invited his grandson Matvey to visit. The grandfather put a large bowl of honey in front of his grandson, put white rolls, invites:
- Eat, Matveyka, honey. If you want, eat honey with rolls with a spoon, if you want - rolls with honey.
Matvey ate honey with rolls, then - rolls with honey. I ate so much that it became difficult to breathe. He wiped his sweat, sighed and asked:
- Tell me, please, grandfather, what kind of honey is it - lime or buckwheat?
- And what? - Grandfather Andrei was surprised. - I treated you with buckwheat honey, granddaughters.
“Linden honey is still tastier,” said Matvey and yawned: after a plentiful meal, he felt sleepy.
Pain squeezed the heart of grandfather Andrei. He was silent. And the grandson continued to ask:
- And the flour for rolls - from spring or winter wheat? Grandfather Andrei turned pale. His heart clenched with unbearable pain.
It became hard to breathe. He closed his eyes and groaned.

Why say "thank you"?

Two people were walking along the forest road - grandfather and a boy. It was hot, they wanted to drink.
The travelers came to a stream. Cool water gurgled softly. They leaned over and got drunk.
“Thank you, stream,” Grandpa said. The boy laughed.
- Why did you say "thank you" to the stream? he asked his grandfather. - After all, the stream is not alive, will not hear your words, will not understand your gratitude.
- This is true. If the wolf got drunk, he would not say “thank you”. And we are not wolves, we are people. Do you know why a person says "thank you"?
Think who needs this word?
The boy thought. He had plenty of time. The road was long...

Martin

The mother swallow taught the chick to fly. The chick was very small. He clumsily and helplessly waved his weak wings. Unable to stay in the air, the chick fell to the ground and was badly hurt. He lay motionless and squealed plaintively. The mother swallow was very alarmed. She circled over the chick, screaming loudly and did not know how to help him.
The little girl picked up the chick and put it in a wooden box. And she put the box with the chick on the tree.
The swallow took care of her chick. She brought him food daily, fed him.
The chick began to recover quickly and was already chirping merrily and cheerfully waving its strengthened wings.
The old red cat wanted to eat the chick. He quietly crept up, climbed a tree and was already at the very box. But at this time the swallow flew off the branch and began to fly boldly in front of the very nose of the cat. The cat rushed after her, but the swallow deftly dodged, and the cat missed and slammed to the ground with all his might.
Soon the chick completely recovered and the swallow, with a joyful chirping, took him to his native nest under the neighboring roof.

Evgeny Permyak

How Misha wanted to outsmart his mother

Misha's mother came home after work and threw up her hands:
- How did you, Mishenka, manage to break off the wheel of a bicycle?
- It, mother, broke off by itself.
- And why is your shirt torn, Mishenka?
- Mommy, she broke herself.
- And where did your second shoe go? Where did you lose it?
- He, mother, lost himself somewhere.
Then Misha's mother said:
- How bad they are! They, the scoundrels, need to teach a lesson!
- But as? Misha asked.
“Very simple,” Mom replied. - If they have learned to break themselves, tear themselves apart and get lost on their own, let them learn to repair themselves, sew themselves up, stay on their own. And you and I, Misha, will sit at home and wait until they do all this.
Misha sat down by the broken bicycle, in a torn shirt, without a shoe, and thought hard. Apparently, this boy had something to think about.

Short story "Ah!"

Nadia didn't know how to do anything. Grandmother Nadya dressed, put on shoes, washed, combed her hair.
Mom Nadya was fed from a cup, fed from a spoon, put to bed, lulled.
Nadia heard about the kindergarten. It's fun for friends to play there. They dance. They sing. They listen to stories. Good for kids kindergarten. And Nadenka would have been fine there, but they didn't take her there. Not accepted!
Oh!
Nadia cried. Mom cried. Grandma cried.
- Why didn't you take Nadya to kindergarten?
And in kindergarten they say:
How can we accept her when she can't do anything.
Oh!
Grandma caught on, mom caught on. And Nadia caught on. Nadia began to dress herself, put on her own shoes, wash herself, eat, drink, comb her hair, and go to bed.
As they found out about this in kindergarten, they themselves came for Nadia. They came and took her to the kindergarten, dressed, shod, washed, combed.
Oh!

Nikolai Nosov

steps

One day Petya was returning from kindergarten. That day he learned to count to ten. He reached his house, and his younger sister Valya was already waiting at the gate.
“I already know how to count!” Petya boasted. - I learned in kindergarten. Look how I now count all the steps on the stairs.
They began to climb the stairs, and Petya loudly counted the steps:

- Well, why did you stop? Valya asks.
“Wait, I forgot which step is next. I will remember now.
“Well, remember,” says Valya.
They stood on the stairs, they stood. Petya says:
- No, I can't remember that. Well, let's start over.
They went down the stairs. They started going up again.
“One,” says Petya, “two, three, four, five… And he stopped again.
- Forgot again? Valya asks.
- Forgot! How is it! I just remembered and suddenly forgot! Well, let's try again.
They went down the stairs again, and Petya started over:
One, two, three, four, five...
“Maybe twenty-five?” Valya asks.
- Well no! You just stop thinking! You see, I forgot because of you! Will have to start over again.
I don't want to at first! Valya says. - What it is? Up, then down, then up, then down! My legs already hurt.
“If you don’t want to, don’t,” Petya answered. “I won’t go any further until I remember.”
Valya went home and said to her mother:
- Mom, there Petya counts steps on the stairs: one, two, three, four, five, but then he doesn’t remember.
“And then six,” Mom said.
Valya ran back to the stairs, and Petya kept counting the steps:
One, two, three, four, five...
- Six! Valya whispers. - Six! Six!
- Six! Petya was delighted and went on. - Seven eight nine ten.
It’s good that the stairs ended, otherwise he would never have reached the house, because he only learned to count up to ten.

Slide

The children built a snow hill in the yard. They poured water on her and went home. The cat didn't work. He was sitting at home, looking out the window. When the guys left, Kotka put on his skates and went up the hill. Teal skates in the snow, but can't get up. What to do? Kotka took the box of sand and sprinkled it on the hill. The guys came running. How to ride now? The guys were offended by Kotka and forced him to cover the sand with snow. Kotka untied his skates and began to cover the hill with snow, and the guys poured water over it again. Kotka also made steps.

Nina Pavlova

The little mouse got lost

The mother gave the forest mouse a wheel made of dandelion stem and said:
- Come on, play, ride near the house.
- Pip-pip-pip! the mouse shouted. - I will play, I will ride!
And rolled the wheel down the path. I rolled it, rolled it, and played so much that I did not notice how I found myself in a strange place. Last year's linden nuts were lying on the ground, and above, behind the carved leaves, a completely foreign place! The mouse is quiet. Then, so that it would not be so scary, he put his wheel on the ground, and he sat in the middle. Sitting and thinking
“Mom said: “Ride near the house.” And where is now near the house?
But then he saw that the grass trembled in one place and a frog jumped out.
- Pip-pip-pip! the mouse shouted. - Tell me, frog, where is near the house, where is my mother?
Fortunately, the frog knew just that and answered:
- Run straight and straight under these flowers. Meet the newt. He has just crawled out from under the stone, lies and breathes, is about to crawl into the pond. From the newt, turn left and run along the path all straight and straight. You will meet a white butterfly. She sits on a blade of grass and waits for someone. From the white butterfly, turn left again and then shout to your mother, she will hear.
- Thanks! - said the mouse.
He picked up his wheel and rolled it between the stems, under the bowls of white and yellow anemone flowers. But the wheel soon became stubborn: it would hit one stalk, then another, then it would get stuck, then it would fall. And the mouse did not back down, pushed him, pulled him, and finally rolled out onto the path.
Then he remembered the newt. After all, the newt never met! And he did not meet because he had already managed to crawl into the pond while the little mouse was fiddling with his wheel. So the mouse did not know where he needed to turn left.
And again he rolled his wheel at random. Rolled up to the tall grass. And again, grief: the wheel got tangled in it - and neither back nor forward!
Barely managed to get him out. And then only the mouse remembered the white butterfly. After all, she never met.
And the white butterfly sat, sat on a blade of grass and flew away. So the little mouse did not know where he needed to turn left again.
Fortunately, the mouse met a bee. She flew to the flowers of red currant.
- Pip-pip-pip! the mouse shouted. - Tell me, bee, where is near the house, where is my mother?
And the bee just knew this and answered:
- Run downhill now. You will see - in the lowland something turns yellow. It's as if the tables are covered with patterned tablecloths, and on them are yellow cups. This is a spleen, such a flower. From the spleen go uphill. You will see flowers radiant like the sun and next to them - on long legs - fluffy white balls. This is a coltsfoot flower. Turn right from him and then shout to your mother, she will hear.
- Thanks! the mouse said...
Where to run now? And it was already getting dark, and no one could be seen around! The mouse sat down under a leaf and cried. And he cried so loudly that his mother heard him and came running. How happy he was for her! And she even more: she didn’t even hope that her son was alive. And they merrily ran side by side home.

Valentina Oseeva

Button

Tanya's button came off. Tanya sewed it to her blouse for a long time.
“Well, grandmother,” she asked, “do all boys and girls know how to sew on their buttons?”
- I really don't know, Tanyusha; both boys and girls know how to tear off buttons, but grandmothers get more and more to sew on.
- That's how! Tanya said offended. - And you made me, as if you yourself were not a grandmother!

Three comrades

Vitya lost his breakfast. At the big break, all the guys had breakfast, and Vitya stood on the sidelines.
- Why do not you eat? Kolya asked him.
Lost breakfast...
- Bad, - said Kolya, biting off a large piece of white bread. - It's still a long way to lunch!
- Where did you lose it? Misha asked.
- I don't know... - Vitya said quietly and turned away.
- You probably carried it in your pocket, but you need to put it in your bag, - said Misha. But Volodya did not ask anything. He went up to Vita, broke a piece of bread and butter in half and handed it to his comrade:
- Take it, eat it!

The boy Yasha always liked to climb everywhere and climb into everything. As soon as some suitcase or box was brought, Yasha immediately found himself in it.

And he climbed into all sorts of bags. And in closets. And under the tables.

Mom often said:

- I'm afraid, I'll come with him to the post office, he will get into some empty parcel, and he will be sent to Kyzyl-Orda.

He got very good for it.

And then Yasha new fashion took - began to fall from everywhere. When it was distributed in the house:

- Eh! - everyone understood that Yasha had fallen from somewhere. And the louder the “uh” was, the greater was the height from which Yasha flew. For example, mother hears:

- Eh! - so it's no big deal. This Yasha just fell off the stool.

If you hear:

- Eee! - so it's a very serious matter. It was Yasha who plopped down from the table. I need to go and look at his bumps. And on a visit, Yasha climbed everywhere, and even tried to climb on the shelves in the store.

One day my dad said:

- Yasha, if you climb somewhere else, I don’t know what I will do with you. I'll tie you to the vacuum cleaner with ropes. And you will walk everywhere with a vacuum cleaner. And you will go to the store with your mother with a vacuum cleaner, and in the yard you will play in the sand tied to a vacuum cleaner.

Yasha was so frightened that after these words he did not climb anywhere for half a day.

And then, nevertheless, he climbed onto the table with his dad and crashed together with the phone. Dad took it and actually tied it to a vacuum cleaner.

Yasha walks around the house, and the vacuum cleaner follows him like a dog. And he goes to the store with his mother with a vacuum cleaner, and plays in the yard. Very uncomfortable. Neither you climb the fence, nor ride a bicycle.

But Yasha learned to turn on the vacuum cleaner. Now instead of "uh" constantly began to be heard "uu".

As soon as mom sits down to knit socks for Yasha, when all of a sudden all over the house - "oooooo." Mom is jumping up and down.

We decided to make a good deal. Yasha was untied from the vacuum cleaner. And he promised not to climb anywhere else. Papa said:

- This time, Yasha, I will be stricter. I'll tie you to a stool. And I'll nail the stool to the floor with nails. And you will live with a stool, like a dog in a booth.

Yasha was very afraid of such a punishment.

But just then a very wonderful case turned up - they bought a new wardrobe.

First, Yasha climbed into the closet. He sat in the closet for a long time, banging his forehead against the walls. This is an interesting thing. Then he got bored and got out.

He decided to climb into the closet.

Yasha moved the dining table to the closet and climbed on it. But he did not reach the top of the cabinet.

Then he put a light chair on the table. He climbed onto the table, then onto a chair, then onto the back of a chair, and began to climb onto the closet. Already half gone.

And then the chair slipped out from under his foot and fell to the floor. But Yasha remained half on the closet, half in the air.

Somehow he climbed onto the closet and fell silent. Try telling your mom

- Oh, mom, I'm sitting on the closet!

Mom will immediately transfer him to a stool. And he will live like a dog all his life near a stool.

Here he sits and is silent. Five minutes, ten minutes, five more minutes. All in all, almost a month. And Yasha slowly began to cry.

And mom hears: Yasha can’t hear something.

And if Yasha is not heard, then Yasha is doing something wrong. Either he chews matches, or he climbed into the aquarium knee-deep, or he draws Cheburashka on his father's papers.

Mom began to look in different places. And in the closet, and in the nursery, and in my father's office. And everything is in order: dad works, the clock is ticking. And if there is order everywhere, then something difficult must have happened to Yasha. Something extraordinary.

Mom screams:

- Yasha, where are you?

Yasha is silent.

- Yasha, where are you?

Yasha is silent.

Then my mother began to think. He sees a chair on the floor. He sees that the table is not in place. He sees - Yasha is sitting on the closet.

Mom asks:

- Well, Yasha, are you going to sit on the closet all your life or will we get down?

Yasha doesn't want to go down. He is afraid that he will be tied to a stool.

He says:

- I won't get down.

Mom says:

- Okay, let's live on the closet. Now I'll bring you lunch.

She brought Yasha soup in a bowl, a spoon and bread, and a small table and a stool.

Yasha had lunch on the cupboard.

Then his mother brought him a pot on the closet. Yasha was sitting on the potty.

And in order to wipe his ass, my mother had to get up on the table herself.

At this time, two boys came to visit Yasha.

Mom asks:

- Well, are you Kolya and Vitya to serve on the closet?

Yasha says:

- Submit.

And then dad couldn’t stand it from his office:

- Now I myself will come to visit him on the closet. Yes, not one, but with a strap. Remove it from the cabinet immediately.

They took Yasha out of the closet, and he says:

- Mom, I didn’t get off because I’m afraid of stools. My dad promised to tie me to a stool.

“Oh, Yasha,” says mom, “you are still small. You don't understand jokes. Go play with the guys.

And Yasha understood jokes.

But he also understood that dad did not like to joke.

He can easily tie Yasha to a stool. And Yasha did not climb anywhere else.

How the boy Yasha ate badly

Yasha was good to everyone, he just ate badly. All the time with concerts. Either mom sings to him, or dad shows tricks. And he gets along:

- I do not want.

Mom says:

- Yasha, eat porridge.

- I do not want.

Papa says:

- Yasha, drink juice!

- I do not want.

Mom and dad got tired of persuading him every time. And then my mother read in one scientific pedagogical book that children should not be persuaded to eat. It is necessary to put a plate of porridge in front of them and wait for them to get hungry and eat everything.

They put, put plates in front of Yasha, but he does not eat and does not eat anything. He doesn't eat meatballs, soup, or porridge. He became thin and dead, like a straw.

- Yasha, eat porridge!

- I do not want.

- Yasha, eat soup!

- I do not want.

Previously, his pants were hard to fasten, but now he dangled completely freely in them. It was possible to launch another Yasha into these pants.

And then one day a strong wind blew.

And Yasha played on the site. He was very light, and the wind rolled him around the site. Rolled up to the wire mesh fence. And there Yasha got stuck.

So he sat, pressed against the fence by the wind, for an hour.

Mom calls:

- Yasha, where are you? Go home with the soup to suffer.

But he doesn't go. He is not even heard. He not only became dead himself, but his voice became dead. Nothing is heard that he squeaks there.

And he squeaks:

- Mom, take me away from the fence!

Mom began to worry - where did Yasha go? Where to look for it? Yasha is not seen and not heard.

Dad said this:

- I think our Yasha was rolled away somewhere by the wind. Come on, mom, we'll take the pot of soup out onto the porch. The wind will blow and the smell of soup will bring to Yasha. On this delicious smell, he will crawl.

Do you know that literature is not only for education and moralizing? Literature - it happens for laughter. And laughter is the most favorite thing for children, after sweets, of course. We have compiled for you a selection of the most fun children's books that will be of interest to even the oldest children, grandparents. These books are perfect for family reading. Which, in turn, is ideal for family leisure. Read and laugh!

Narine Abgaryan - "Manyunya"

“Manya and I, despite the strict prohibition of our parents, often ran away to the junk dealer’s house and fiddled with his children. We imagined ourselves as teachers and drilled the unfortunate kids as best we could. Uncle Slavik's wife did not interfere in our games, on the contrary, she approved.

- All the same, there is no government for children, - she said, - so at least you calm them down.

Since admitting to Ba that we picked up lice from the children of a junk dealer was like death, we were silent in a rag.

When Ba finished with me, Manka squealed thinly:

“Aaaaah, am I really going to be that scary too?”

- Well, why scary? - Ba grabbed Manka and imperiously nailed him to a wooden bench. “You might think that all your beauty is in your hair,” and she cut off a large curl from Mankina’s crown.

I ran into the house to look at myself in the mirror. The spectacle that opened my eyes plunged me into horror - I was short and unevenly cut, and on the sides of my head with two perky leaves of burdock my ears stood up! I burst into bitter tears - never, never in my life have I had such ears!

— Narineeee?! Ba's voice reached me. - It's good to admire your typhoid physiognomy, run here, better admire Manya!

I trudged into the yard. Manyuni's tear-stained face appeared from behind the mighty back of Baba Rosa. I swallowed loudly - Manka looked incomparable, even more whippy than me: at least both tips of my ears stuck out equidistantly from the skull, with Manka they were at odds - one ear was neatly pressed to the head, and the other belligerently bristled to the side!

- Well, - Ba looked at us with satisfaction, - Gena and Cheburashka are pure crocodile!

Valery Medvedev - "Barankin, be a man!"

When everyone sat down and there was silence in the class, Zinka Fokina shouted:

- Oh, guys! It's just some misfortune! New academic year had not yet begun, and Barankin and Malinin had already managed to get two deuces! ..

A terrible noise immediately arose in the classroom again, but individual cries, of course, could be made out.

- In such conditions, I refuse to be the editor-in-chief of the wall newspaper! (This was said by Era Kuzyakina.) - And they also promised that they would improve! (Mishka Yakovlev.) - Unfortunate drones! Last year they were nursed, and again all over again! (Alik Novikov.) - Call the parents! (Nina Semyonova.) - Only our class is dishonored! (Irka Pukhova.) - We decided to do everything “good” and “excellent”, and here you are! (Ella Sinitsyna.) - Shame on Barankin and Malinin!! (Ninka and Irka together.) - Yes, kick them out of our school, and that's it!!! (Erka Kuzyakina.) "Okay, Erka, I'll remember this phrase for you."

After these words, everyone yelled with one voice, so loudly that it was completely impossible for Kostya and me to make out who and what was thinking about us, although from individual words it was possible to catch that Kostya Malinin and I were blockheads, parasites, drones! Once again, fools, loafers, egoists! And so on! Etc!..

What annoyed me and Kostya most of all was that Venka Smirnov was yelling the loudest. Whose cow, as they say, would moo, but his would be silent. This Venka's performance last year was even worse than that of Kostya and me. Therefore, I could not stand it and also screamed.

- Redhead, - I shouted at Venka Smirnov, - why are you yelling the loudest of all? If you were the first to be called to the board, you would not get a deuce, but a unit! So shut up in a rag.

- Oh, you, Barankin, - Venka Smirnov yelled at me, - I'm not against you, I'm yelling for you! What am I trying to say, guys!.. I say: you can’t immediately call to the blackboard after the holidays. It is necessary that we first come to our senses after the holidays ...

Christine Nestlinger - "Down with the Cucumber King!"

“I didn’t think: it can’t be! I didn’t even think: well, the jester - you can die from laughter! Nothing came to my mind at all. Well, nothing! Huber Yo, my friend, says in such cases: closure in the convolutions! Perhaps the best thing I remember is how my dad said “no” three times. The first time is very loud. The second is normal and the third is barely audible.

Dad likes to say: "If I said no, then no." But now his "no" did not make the slightest impression. Not-that-pumpkin-not-that-cucumber continued to sit on the table as if nothing had happened. He folded his hands on his stomach and repeated: "King Kumi-Ori of the Undergrounding family!"

Grandpa was the first to come to his senses. He approached the Kumior king and curtseying, he said: “I am extremely flattered by our acquaintance. My name is Hogelman. In this house I will be a grandfather.”

Kumi-Ori extended his right hand forward and thrust it under his grandfather's nose. The grandfather looked at the thread-gloved pen, but did not understand what Kumi-Ori wanted.

Mom suggested that his arm hurts and a compress is needed. Mom always thinks that someone definitely needs either a compress, or pills, or, at worst, mustard plasters. But Kumi-Ori did not need a compress at all, and his hand was completely healthy. He waved his thread fingers in front of his grandfather’s nose and said: “We have inoculated that we have a whole watt of porridge apricots!”

Grandfather said, for nothing in the world he would kiss the august hand, he would allow himself this, at best, in relation to a charming lady, and Kumi-Ori is no lady, all the more charming.

Grigory Oster - “Bad advice. A book for naughty children and their parents

***

For example, in your pocket

Turned out to be a handful of sweets

And met you

Your true friends.

Don't be afraid and don't hide

Don't run away

Don't shove all the candy

Together with candy wrappers in the mouth.

Approach them calmly

Without saying too many words

Quickly taking it out of my pocket

Give them... a hand.

Shake their hands firmly

Say goodbye slowly

And turning around the first corner,

Rush home quickly.

To eat sweets at home,

Get under the bed

Because there, of course,

You won't meet anyone.

Astrid Lindgren - "The Adventures of Emil from Lenneberg"

The broth was very tasty, everyone took the addition as much as they wanted, and in the end only a few carrots and onions remained at the bottom of the tureen. This is what Emil decided to enjoy. Without thinking twice, he reached for the tureen, pulled it towards him and stuck his head into it. Everyone could hear him sucking thick with a whistle. When Emil licked the bottom almost dry, he naturally wanted to pull his head out of the tureen. But it was not there! The tureen tightly clasped his forehead, temples and the back of his head and was not removed. Emil was frightened and jumped up from his chair. He stood in the middle of the kitchen with a tureen on his head, as if in knight's helmet. And the tureen slipped lower and lower. First, his eyes disappeared under it, then his nose and even his chin. Emil tried to free himself, but nothing came of it. The tureen seemed to be rooted to his head. Then he began to shout a good obscenity. And after him, with a fright, and Lina. Yes, and everyone was scared.

- Our beautiful tureen! - all insisted Lina. What am I going to serve soup in now?

And indeed, since Emil's head is stuck in the tureen, you can't pour soup into it. Lina understood this immediately. But mother was worried not so much about the beautiful tureen, but about Emil's head.

- Dear Anton, - Mom turned to dad, - how can we get the boy out of there? Shall I break the tureen?

- This is still not enough! exclaimed Emil's father. “I paid four crowns for her!”

Irina and Leonid Tyukhtyaev - "Zoki and Bada: a guide for children on parenting"

It was evening and everyone was at home. Seeing that papa was sitting on the sofa with a newspaper, Margarita said:

- Dad, let's play animals, and Yanka wants to come out too. Dad sighed, and Yang shouted: - Chur, I'm thinking!

- Dove again? Margarita asked him sternly.

"Yes," Yang was surprised.

“Now I am,” said Margarita. “I guessed, guess.

- Elephant ... lizard ... fly ... giraffe ... - began Jan, - dad, and the cow has a cow?

- So you will never guess, - dad could not stand it and put down the newspaper, - it should be different. Does he have legs?

- Yes, - my daughter smiled enigmatically.

- One? Two? Four? Six? Eight? Margarita shook her head negatively.

- Nine? Jan asked.

- More.

- Centipede. No? - Dad was surprised. - Then I give up, but keep in mind: the crocodile has four legs.

- Yes? - Margarita was confused. - And I thought of it.

- Dad, - the son asked, - but if a boa constrictor sits on a tree and suddenly notices a penguin?

“Now dad is thinking,” his sister stopped him.

“Only real animals, not fictional ones,” the son warned.

- What are the real ones? Dad asked.

- A dog, for example, - said the daughter, - and wolves and bears are only in fairy tales.

- Not! Yang shouted. “Yesterday I saw a wolf in the yard. Huge such, even two! Like this.” He held up his hands.

“Well, they were probably smaller,” dad smiled.

- But, you know how they barked!

“These are dogs,” Margarita laughed, “there are all kinds of dogs: a wolf dog, a bear dog, a fox dog, a sheep dog, even a pussy dog, such a small one.”

Mikhail Zoshchenko - "Lelya and Minka"

This year, guys, I turned forty years old. So it turns out that I saw forty times Christmas tree. It's a lot! Well, for the first three years of my life, I probably did not understand what a Christmas tree was. Probably, my mother endured me on her arms. And, probably, with my black little eyes I looked at the painted tree without interest.

And when I, children, hit five years old, I already perfectly understood what a Christmas tree is. And I was looking forward to it happy holiday. And even in the crack of the door I peeped how my mother decorates the Christmas tree.

And my sister Lele was seven years old at that time. And she was an exceptionally lively girl. She once told me: “Minka, my mother has gone to the kitchen. Let's go to the room where the tree stands and see what's going on there.

So my sister Lelya and I entered the room. And we see: a very beautiful Christmas tree. And under the tree are gifts. And on the Christmas tree there are multi-colored beads, flags, lanterns, golden nuts, pastilles and Crimean apples.

My sister Lelya says: - We will not look at the gifts. Instead, let's just eat one lozenge each.

And now she comes up to the Christmas tree and instantly eats one lozenge hanging on a thread.

I say: - Lelya, if you ate a pastille, then I will also eat something now.

And I go up to the tree and bite off a small piece of an apple.

Lelya says: “Minka, if you bit off an apple, then I’ll eat another lozenge now and, in addition, I’ll take this candy for myself.”

And Lelya was a very tall, long-knit girl. And she could reach high. She stood on tiptoe and began to eat the second lozenge with her big mouth.

And I was amazing vertically challenged. And I could hardly get anything, except for one apple, which hung low.

I say: - If you, Lelisha, ate the second lozenge, then I will bite off this apple again.

And I again take this apple with my hands and bite it off a little again.

Lelya says: - If you have bitten off an apple for the second time, then I will no longer stand on ceremony and now I will eat the third lozenge and, in addition, I will take a cracker and a nut as a keepsake.

Then I almost cried. Because she could reach everything, but I can’t. ”

Paul Maar - "Seven Saturdays in a Week"

On Saturday morning Mr. Peppermint sat in his room and waited. What was he waiting for? He certainly could not have said this himself.

Why then did he wait? Now this is easier to explain. True, we will have to start the story from Monday itself.

And on Monday there was a sudden knock on the door of Mr. Peppermint's room. Sticking her head through the crack, Mrs. Bruckmann announced:

- Mister Pepperfint, you have a guest! Just make sure that he does not smoke in the room: this will ruin the curtains! Let him not sit on the bed! Why did I give you a chair, what do you think?

Mrs. Bruckman was the mistress of the house where Mr. Peppermint rented a room. When she was angry, she always called him "Pepperfint". And now the hostess was angry because a guest had come to him.

The visitor pushed through the door that same Monday by the landlady turned out to be Mr. Peppermint's school friend. His last name was Pone delcus. As a gift to his friend, he brought a whole bag of delicious donuts.

After Monday it was Tuesday, and on this day the master's nephew came to Mr. Peppermint - to ask how to solve a problem in mathematics. The owner's nephew was lazy and repeating. Mr. Peppermint was not at all surprised by his visit.

Wednesday, as always, came in the middle of the week. And this, of course, did not surprise Mr. Peppermint.

On Thursday, in a nearby cinema, they unexpectedly showed New film: "Four against the cardinal." This is where Mr. Peppermint got a little wary.

Friday came. On this day, the reputation of the company where Mr. Peppermint served was stained: the office was closed all day, and customers were indignant.

Eno Raud - "Muff, Half Shoes and Moss Beard"

One day, three naxitralls met by chance at an ice cream stand: Mossbeard, Halfboot, and Muff. They were all so small that the ice-cream lady mistook them for gnomes at first. Each of them had other interesting features. Moss Beard has a beard of soft moss, in which, although last year's, but still beautiful lingonberries grew. The half-boot was shod in boots with cut off toes: it was more convenient to move the toes this way. And Mufta, instead of ordinary clothes, wore a thick muff, from which only the crown and heels protruded.

They ate ice cream and looked at each other with great curiosity.

"Excuse me," Muft said at last. - Perhaps, of course, I'm wrong, but it seems to me that we have something in common.

“So it seemed to me,” Polbootka nodded.

Mossbeard plucked a few berries from his beard and handed them to his new acquaintances.

- Sour ice cream is good.

- I'm afraid to seem intrusive, but it would be nice to get together some other time, - said Mufta. - We would cook cocoa, talk about this and that.

“That would be wonderful,” Polbootka rejoiced. - I would gladly invite you to my place, but I have no home. Since childhood, I have traveled the world.

"Just like me," said Mossbeard.

- Wow, what a coincidence! Muft exclaimed. - Exactly the same story with me. So we are all travelers.

He tossed the ice cream slip into the dustbin and zipped up the muff. His clutch had such a property: to fasten and unfasten with the help of a "lightning". Meanwhile, the others finished their ice cream.

- Do not you think that we could unite? - said Polbotinka.

- Traveling together is much more fun.

“Of course,” Mossbeard agreed happily.

“Brilliant thought,” Mufta beamed. - Simply magnificent!

"So it's settled," said Polbootka. “Why don’t we have another ice cream each before we unite?”