Self-confidence - good or bad. Why are all guys so arrogant

Olga conscientiously prepared for the exams. Marina skipped classes, actively rested with friends, defiantly ignoring the session. Olga is savvy on all tickets, confident in herself and her knowledge. Marina is trying to prove to everyone that impudence is the second happiness. The exam is taken the same way. Where's the justice?

Is it so bad to be self-confident Marina, if the result is the same? Is there a big difference between self-confidence and self-confidence? Where is that border?

Let's delve into psychology

If "self-confidence" implies awareness of one's real capabilities and skillful use of them, then "self-confidence" is feigned bravado, exaggeration of abilities, and even, as psychologists say, hidden self-doubt.

The terms "self-confidence" and "self-confidence" are different poles of the concept of "confidence". One person tells everyone what a wonderful book he will write, but he never starts it. Another will silently write and publish without any boasting. Self-confident - a kind of PR man, who in fact turns out to be a "naked king." A self-confident person does not need self-promotion, he attracts by his actions, real deeds.

Where's the justice?

A self-confident person takes it impudently, sometimes it rolls, as in the case of Marina, but with repeated attempts, ignorance and lack of experience will make themselves felt, and a failure awaits the person. Moreover, for self-confident people in the depths, this failure will be very painful, although outwardly they can hide it.

Self-confident people recognize as their own strengths and shortcomings, adequately assessing their capabilities. They endure difficulties more easily, knowing that practical skills in a particular area come only with experience.

What could be worse?

Self-confidence is, as it were, a negative pole, and self-confidence is a positive one. Why "as if"? Because in fact, self-confidence is not so bad. After all, there are still people who are insecure. Even those who prepared for exams, wrote a book, created a brilliant project... But because of their insecurity, fear of expressing their opinion, of being misunderstood in some way, these people remain on the sidelines.

Where does it come from?

The origins of such behavior must be sought in childhood, when parents and teachers were unnecessarily condemned for the slightest mistakes. Then the child was afraid not to live up to expectations, to take the next step, to make some kind of mistake. Or, on the contrary, when the parents praised the baby too much, showing that he is the navel of the earth, and everything he does is the best. That is, low and high self-esteem grow self-doubt and self-confidence.

How is it treated?

An insecure person needs to cultivate an understanding in himself that only those who do nothing do not make mistakes. If you know how to do something, then start with this area. This is where self-confidence comes into play. Yes! Self-hypnosis, self-raising oneself in the face of others, increasing one's self-esteem.

Now, when self-confidence helps to raise the bar in self-awareness, in comparing the results of one’s work with others, in identifying “just PR people”, there is a revolution in consciousness, and a person understands that the more you try, you gain new experience, the more successful each time your business becomes.

The same edge

As a result, with the help of artificially raising the bar, overestimating self-esteem, self-confidence, a person becomes confident as a result of his achievements, in himself. That is, self-confidence approaches self-confidence at the point of "action". This is the very edge!

If a self-confident person does not just get into all things and mess things up due to a lack of knowledge and opportunities, but actually act, learn, not be afraid of mistakes, not just "work for the public", but really make decisions, write a book, prepare for exams and make a great project. That's when self-confidence turns into self-confidence.

Polina Vertinskaya

Excessive self-confidence is certainly good, under certain conditions it can be a big plus in any business, however, you have to pay for such a luxury, and this retribution is expressed in avoiding reality. Of course, it is not easy to find a middle ground between insecurity and too high self-confidence, however, it is possible to do this through a balanced analysis of one's own capabilities and the search for adequate self-esteem. The most important thing when assessing one's own capabilities, and I have noticed this many times, is not negatively related to failures and blunders, and, of course, mistakes should also be taken for granted by us. It is the fear of overstepping the line, when failures negatively affect self-esteem, forcing people to pump their psyche and often pump it over. If you choose between two evils, then of course it turns out that it is still more profitable to be self-confident, so people rise to unprecedented heights, but this also helps to displace them.

Maybe you have had this in your life, but maybe not, then imagine a situation where everything works out for you all the time from time to time, you do everything right, do not make mistakes and defeat everyone and everything. Of course, in order to imagine this, you need to have a rich imagination, however, it is obvious that the feeling of reality in this case may begin to leave a person, and this is already misperceived information, incorrect data for analysis and, accordingly, the beginning of an inadequate response to the situation, which is unacceptable. Being a realist is not easy, I would say that here it is necessary first of all to be able to control your emotions, to get rid of them almost completely so that they do not tip the scales not towards low self-esteem, not towards high self-esteem, keeping some objective balance. Moreover, to make a preference for myself and say that they say it’s better for me to win for the time being than to constantly be a victim of circumstances, is also an expression of an inadequate analysis of the situation with excessive self-confidence.

You can win and be on top without playing with the psyche, I wrote about composure and equanimity many times, look at what people are sitting at the top of the pyramid, these are realists in the full sense of the word. I often dealt with people for whom any such conversations were perceived as another maxim, that is, a kind of moralizing portion aimed at lowering their self-esteem, as an option because of envy. Only now, as a psychologist, this is useless to me, and without that I can find opportunities to be perceived properly by others in order to de-wing others. No friends, all this is from the category when it is very clearly visible from the outside how a person begins to drift, whose self-confidence goes off scale. I repeat, everything has its price, and inflated self-esteem, when a person is so confident in himself that he takes a burden beyond his strength, there is also a price, and this must be remembered.

Many psychologists, mostly coaches, pump the psyche, for example, of athletes in such a way that they have inflated self-esteem, so that they are not afraid of their opponent, believe in their own strengths, even those that they do not have. Such athletes can and achieve great results, but if we recall the rationalism of Muhammad Ali, without a doubt the greatest boxer in history, it becomes clear that sober thinking is not inferior, but significantly exceeds excessively high self-esteem. I will not give all such examples, there are many of them, and any of you, having thought, will be able to remember something like that, and then sport is still not an indicator, there are more priority comparisons with similar conclusions. If you are a respected reader from among those who ideally get along with their excessive self-confidence, if your inflated self-esteem has never let you down, well, this is certainly good, nevertheless, pay attention to those moments that you may miss or not give them meanings, along with their meaninglessness in their own eyes.

Move a little towards realism, just look at what is there and needs attention, otherwise it may become a secret door to your possibilities, in order to weaken your positions. After all, this is exactly how those who sit up and overthrow the strong from their throne act, because paying attention to a booger unworthy of your attention, and even more so to be afraid of it, is something inappropriate for a self-confident person, but in vain.

If, apart from self-confidence, a person has nothing, you can expect unpleasant life scenarios, conflict.

Most of the self-confident people I've met are helpful and efficient, given certain competencies.

Such a person is not afraid to speak and act. Initiative is one of best qualities that can be identified. There is nothing alive, inspiring and enticing in an inert group.

Such people create business, science, and they, in turn, create the infrastructure in which we live.

Self-confidence and self-confidence are different concepts. Self-confidence gives an illusory idea of ​​one's own capabilities and abilities, it makes it difficult to look at oneself from the outside in order to assess all one's weaknesses and strengths. In self-confident behavior, a person does not give himself a real account, therefore, in some cases, he can harm himself without correctly calculating his strength. Self-confidence is backed up by a real assessment of one's capabilities, a real knowledge of one's abilities through testing. Now consider the behavior of a self-confident and confident person. A self-confident person loudly boasts about his abilities, emphasizes in every possible way his power and faith in himself, while often having no evidence for his words. There are times when, after loud cries of his own power, a person is asked to repeat this in practice and he suffers a complete failure. A self-confident person does not need to prove anything to anyone, for he himself knows his abilities and his mistakes. His achievements are visible in his actions and behavior, which he does not have to declare in order to emphasize his importance. In my opinion, self-confidence is useful in any area of ​​life, and you need to work hard on yourself in order to acquire it. Now how can self-confidence come in handy? Perhaps only in order to amuse the sense of self-importance and convince himself of his strength. Or to convince people even weaker in character and will to be admired naively. Being self-confident does not mean being self-confident. Perhaps a person has a lot of complexes and weaknesses, and by praising himself through self-confidence, he simply does not want to see the picture of himself as real and really take any significant actions to work on himself and fix it.

What is self-confidence anyway? Self-confidence is confidence in one's abilities, in oneself, inflated self-confidence is an exaggerated self-confidence and inability to see one's mistakes. She has both positive and negative sides. Positive sides: self-confidence is useful to those who occupy a responsible position and communicate with large quantity of people. It pushes forward, does not allow you to stop there. If reasonableness is still present in a person, then others may not suspect his self-confidence.

Self-confidence helps to believe in a positive outcome of any event, not to pay attention to difficulties, and protects from stress. What is stress? This is a direct road to neuroses that are slowly destroying our health. Self-confidence gives the feeling that you are capable of anything and you can do anything. And this, you see, is better than fear, indecision and disappointment. A self-confident person shares it with others, charges them with energy, which is very necessary for the implementation of the plan. Self-confident people are constructive, they believe in their abilities and live more full life than people with low self-esteem. In addition, self-confidence is evident only when it becomes very much.

The results of many studies in the field of psychology allow us to draw the following conclusion: the cause of errors in judgment is the excessive self-confidence of people. Such a quality, oddly enough, makes it difficult to achieve the goal. But it is believed that a self-confident person can achieve a lot, because he completely concentrates on his goal, not noticing his shortcomings. Here it is very important not to confuse self-confidence and self-confidence inherent in most people - it is precisely this that is main problem. Such people do not admit their mistakes, they consider their opinion to be the only correct one, which means that in communication, most likely, there will be conflicts and misunderstandings. AT different situations one should always act meaningfully, and such a feature as excessive self-confidence hinders development. Under certain conditions, this quality can even become a plus, but the golden mean is still better than extremes of this kind.

Too self-confident people are not able to notice their mistakes, which means that they will not correct them, taking failures and mistakes for granted.

Of course, it harms a person, and in this case complexes necessarily appear, which are very difficult to get rid of. In fact, overconfidence is overconfidence. Especially great harm she can strike at the moment when it comes to decision financial matters. Thus, investors who are overconfident can make unwise decisions that affect them as well. own interests, and have a powerful effect on the market as a whole.

Only right decision for such people will be the search for causes and an attempt to eradicate them. Only in this case it will be possible to understand what exactly needs to be improved in your life. Sometimes overconfidence can make it difficult to keep track of your physical condition. Convinced of superiority over others, he overestimates the ability to control his health, resulting in dire consequences.

So, excessive self-confidence leads to an underestimation of health risks - such people believe that they cannot be at risk of getting sick with something serious, for example, cancer or But it is very important to understand and realize in time the full degree of importance in any serious situation. Given the risk associated with such bad habits, like smoking and alcohol, as well as overeating, it will be much faster to give them up. When a person is convinced that he is above everyone else, nothing threatens him, then at any moment there is a high probability of making some kind of mistake, which will lead to serious consequences.

Excessive self-confidence makes a person self-medicate, take on the functions of a doctor. Without paying any attention to the various symptoms that may be harbingers of some serious illness, you can only harm yourself, because if you turn to a specialist for help in time, you can quickly cure the disease.

You need to really look at yourself, if necessary, listen to the opinion from the outside. And then, perhaps, it will be possible to find some kind of golden mean.