Is it worth living if the husband does not love. If a husband does not love his wife: what are the signs? How does a husband behave if he does not love his wife? If the husband chose a mistress

Hello dear readers! Any relationship is a roller coaster. Today I love, tomorrow I hate, on the third day everything seems to be wonderful again. That's just any attraction ends sooner or later. Some press the stop-cock themselves, others wait for this from the second half, and still others do nothing and fly out at high speed, crashing into a tree, then moving away from the blow for a long time.

If you suddenly realize and ask yourself: “I don’t want to live with my husband, what should I do” - the advice of a psychologist will come in handy. Right now, you can get really valuable advice, which may not help you 100% deal with the situation, but you will be able to get the right direction for further thinking and action.

Let's get started.

Save can not be divorced

Recently, we all fell in love with chopping from the shoulder. I don't understand what happened, but we became maniacally afraid of wasting time. We hope to meet a person, even if without any particular reason we suspect the spouse of having a mistress.

We began to value ourselves more, more often to hope for a miracle and those around us. As if, somewhere, not even the second half for everyone, but three or four servants, designed to make life more colorful and happier, began to be born.

Many women, and even men, are sure that somewhere, which does nothing but cook, wash, court. A woman irons shirts with one hand, and with the other she sculpts dumplings, while she certainly weighs 30 kilograms and always walks with a perfect hairdo. A man earns a lot of money and 90% of the time only says that his wife should never and never work.

Only one thing is interesting, where in our whole country can you find so many ideal soul mates and why should they live with someone who only accepts grace? What can we ourselves give in return to that person who will give us boundless happiness? Well, except for unearthly beauty, which you don’t even want to follow.

Before you think about what to do if you don’t want to live with your husband, think about relationships in general: what do you expect from your ideal spouse, can you match him, is everything so bad in your existing family, is it always other people were to blame for your misfortune. All this is not very simple, and not as obvious as it might seem to a person, especially with high self-esteem.

Talk to someone about this topic. It’s great if you manage to get an appointment with a psychologist.

Deadly excuses

In society, so many excuses for any behavior have now been invented that it is very difficult to understand them and create your own correct attitude that will not lead to psychological pain.

One of my clients, who wanted to leave the family, often repeated the phrase: “Yes, we have two children, but it is better for them to live with parents who are happy separately than we will constantly swear together.”

This young man was never able to convince himself of the correctness of this judgment, he left his wife, but after some time he realized that he was not able to do this with a child and returned to solve all their problems and improve family relations. By the way, they succeeded.

Understand yourself and think twice about your own family values, worldview and contradictions that can lead to intrapersonal conflicts.

Even the fact that you have nowhere to go can be a powerful incentive to start all over again and achieve a harmonious relationship with your husband. As they say, there would be a desire and something to cling to with a thought.

If you are serious

If all of the above did not help, and you are determined to leave, then first of all you need to talk with your spouse and find out his opinion on this matter. Do not be too categorical, because together you are really capable. Perhaps in a conversation you will understand that he loves you and it would be a mistake to abandon the family.

Waiting for him to leave or trying to gently bring him to this idea is not the best way out, firstly, it is not too honest, secondly, it is unproductive, thirdly, you risk waiting too long. You will completely spoil the relationship with your ex-spouse, and even if it doesn’t seem important to you now, but over time you risk regretting what you did.

Try to avoid destructive relationships with people. It's not in your best interest. I can also recommend a book Mikhail Labkovsky "I want and I will: accept myself, love life and become happy" which will answer many questions and point you in the right direction.

A conversation with your husband will not be easy, but in any case it must take place. After it, your life will change and you should not predict in which direction yet. Everything is too unpredictable. That's all for me. See you soon and don't forget to subscribe to the newsletter.

Author, I personally understand you. And you know what I will write to you. Anyone who does not feel it will never understand you!!! Well-fed is not a friend to the hungry, alas. You know, I'm in a similar situation. And you know, I personally redid a bunch of everything in order to reanimate relationships and much more and went to a psychologist, in short, I know that I did both what is possible and what is not ...

I will write to you from experience, relationships are built by both. Those who write about their contribution to the relationship with their husband feel some return from their husband inside. But it happens, in my case, when there really is no return. Yes, the husband brings money, but plays with the children - but at the same time, he may be deeply violet to you personally, as a woman and as a person.

You know, I also talked about this topic with others before. I also heard a million judgments, yes you will ruin the family, but be wise, but make sure that your husband is good with you and so on and so forth. etc.

But, damn it, why should I make him feel good with me, but he shouldn't? Unfortunately, when you realize the deplorability of the situation late, of course you have to do it ... because there is an opinion, since you suffered so much and lived, gave birth to children, what are you getting out of it now ?? But, after all, people change, and what, for example, was easily tolerated earlier, is also not the attention of a husband, over the years it can be transferred differently ...

And now I understand that you can be wise when, nevertheless, there is something in a relationship that suits you too !! But it happens when there is just nothing and be wise at least a hundred times - this will not help much.

Author, trust your feelings. I am sure that the same tulips are just the tip of the iceberg in the sense that you tried to give an example in words that there is no love for you for you. In fact, it is not always easy to even put it into words like this.

It just feels inside and that's it. And do not prove anything to anyone, believe me, few people will understand this if they themselves have not experienced it. From my own experience, I realized that my feeling that my husband was indifferent to me was just sensations, and then everything was gradually concretized at specific moments in my life.

Yes, as they say here, a husband may not give flowers and be a cracker, but at the same time, a woman intuitively feels that she still loves her.

But it also happens that you realize that just love is not there. You just understand - period. Then you simply begin to attach various evidence to this feeling, as I wrote above.

But now I understand, I don't need proof. You have to believe in yourself. I didn't believe before. She could have left her husband and children much earlier, but she didn’t believe her feelings, she also thought “I’m fighting with fat, like an adequate man,” and now it’s also a problem ... because of the children.

Decide first thing for yourself, can you live without love? You know, when I was younger, I somehow managed without my husband’s love, I replaced it with something, and over the years I began to understand that, in fact, yes, I want love from my husband, man. And why shouldn't she want, shouldn't receive, why should she deserve it with the same wisdom??

You know how many women who are not wise and also scandalous, but strangely enough they love them. Yes, because they love different people, not because, but, as they say, DESPITE everything.

If I were you, I would not look for an answer on Eve, because you won't find it here. Listen only to yourself. My experience has shown that even girlfriends and even the closest ones - and they do not understand, "you are mad with fat ..." for them, similar sensations. Here you need to dig deeper, read other literature, even go to a psychologist, if possible. I went, but even that didn’t help me, it’s just that at that moment I again turned a blind eye to not love from my husband and believed, believed that I would definitely fix everything, I’ll fix it myself, in short, everything is on my shoulders. But this is not so, the author!!

If your husband at the same time sits on the priest evenly and does not change anything, you will be killed against the wall, but nothing will change. Yes, of course, it is possible for some period, a couple of months, something will change, but believe me, because everything will go away again. It is impossible to love only one person!!!

As for the husband, most likely he gets somewhere what he needs and he doesn’t need to steam at home. Mine does this personally. At work, on the side he gets what he needs and then he gets purple for what I need.

And also, in principle, probably, if I do not initiate a divorce or until someone of their girlfriends-lovers presses there on the side, they will continue to live with me under the same roof.

But I know for sure that there is no love for me, and there is no love for the children either, although it seems like she does everything for the house. But then again, it does, because otherwise - of course, it is necessary to get a divorce, but he is too lazy, as long as he is comfortable - he does not bother - he will live like that ... And what should strain him? In the morning I went to work, I came late, without touching him in the evening, don’t call work - you interfere, don’t strain relationships on weekends - I rest. Why should he get divorced?

My experience says that if he is impatient, of course he will get divorced, but just so far he does not need it. Perhaps, too, your husband is not on fire yet, why will he get a divorce?? Why would he create embarrassing situations for himself?

Just understand for yourself, can you live in such a relationship without love all your life? 5 years, 10 years, the rest of your life? Is it good to live in a relationship when, in fact, there is nothing between people, emptiness, a wall??

I repeat that I personally honestly tried to revive everything, to fall in love with my husband again and fall in love with myself, it took years, but now I understand that I did everything, my husband never needed it !! it is convenient for him to live with me, I repeat, because what he needs, he gets on the side.

Well, the fact that I'm right there somewhere under the same roof does not bother him, because in relation to me he is just an empty place, or rather, I am for him.

And even when he gave me flowers just this year, I realized that understanding that you are loved - it sits somewhere inside you and depends on many everyday little things, not only on flowers once a year ...

Someone doesn’t give flowers and a woman feels that she is loved, and sometimes, as in my case, she gave flowers, but I understand that it’s just nothing, or rather, she gave it rather because she did something on the side, whom found something, felt guilty, because. before that, he also never gave flowers or gifts and considered this also tinsel ...

And, most importantly, I also nodded my head obediently and considered my desire to receive a flower or a gift - I'm mad with fat !! This is how a woman suppresses in herself everything that seems to be the norm just ...

So author, your life is only your life!! You live, you decide. I, too, used to think that a woman is wise - if she pulls a family to the last, everything in her revives and creates and creates. But I realized that there are cases - when there is nothing to create, there is simply nothing, at least a hundred times be wise with the wise.

To live with a person who does not love you and it is clearly felt inside - now I do not consider such co-existence to be wisdom. This is a banal fear of being left alone, fear of financial difficulties, fear of what people will say about how children will be without a father, a little jealousy that a husband will find someone for himself, and I, with children, will hardly find anyone, yes, and banal self-esteem speaks inside, it turns out that I am a divorcee = not a successful woman, not wise???

You just need to decide for yourself what is best? Really live alone or see every day that you are an empty place for your husband? There are those who choose the latter and live like this for years and nothing, in a word, you have to decide for yourself with what you can live your whole life and what not ...

And then, if there really is no love for his wife on the part of the husband, where is the guarantee that someday he will not mature himself personally before the same divorce, while you seem to have come to terms with living with him without love on his part ???

It’s worth mentioning right away that each situation will not be identical to the others and it’s never worth making a hasty decision based on any advice. If there is a specific question, you can ask it in the comments and find out the opinion of other people who have experienced something similar, and only after that you should think it over again and make an informed decision.

This article provides answers to a number of topical questions that can give you an idea of ​​how the problem is solved by others and what you should pay attention to in order to better understand everything and make the right choice.

How to live with a husband who does not love you, cheats on you and does not leave, you hate, insults

Why live and endure insults and humiliation. Leave, start a new life.

How to live with a husband who is disgusting, drinks, voices in my head

Living with a person who causes dislike or disgust cannot be worse. Don't mock yourself, get divorced. If the husband is an alcoholic, ready to change, go to a narcologist.

How to live with a husband who has HIV, hepatitis C

Medical treatment will protect you from these diagnoses. Today, it is not even scary to give birth with this, because the child will be healthy.

How to live with a husband who has a child, a constant lover, had a family, if there is nowhere to go and there is no mutual understanding

It's one thing when you can pick up and leave, another when there is nowhere. There are no hopeless situations, there are various centers that help women who find themselves in a difficult situation.

How to live with a husband if you love another, he loves another

Divorce. No one will be offended, everyone will go to their soul mate, everyone is happy.

How to live with a boring husband if he constantly scolds the child

Get help from a drug dealer. Most often, alcoholic husbands very soon begin to beat their wives and children, turning into a tyrant.

How to live with a husband for the sake of children

Children will grow up, everyone will have their own family. And your life will go on with an unloved person.

How to live with a miser, tyrant, despot, boor, schizophrenic, selfish, energy vampire husband

Miser or thrifty? Maybe he won't give you a new mascara, but he will buy a car or a new TV. If the miser is greedy for you even small expenses, it is unlikely that you will be able to change. Try to be independent.

A tyrant, a despot, all this sits deep in his head and is unlikely to come out of there. Run away from him. A schizophrenic, an egoist and an energy vampire are not as scary as a despot. But they are unlikely to become those with whom it will be good and comfortable.

How to live with your husband without scandals and quarrels happily ever after

It will become boring without quarrels at all, learn to sort things out calmly. Understand that excess emotions get in the way.

How to live with a husband in the same apartment after a divorce, in different rooms, cities

There is no way to leave, live as your relationship allows. When there is no hatred, it is easier to find a common language.

After successfully solving the problem of “how to get married successfully,” women are faced with a new one: “My husband is an egoist.”

Gifts, courtship and dates are over, which means you can return to your usual way of life.

Such a chosen one, without a twinge of conscience, will gobble up the last piece of the cake, go to the bathroom first, despite the fact that the wife may be late and she also needs to put herself in order, and will enter the open door without giving way to her companion.

The choice in favor of an egoist is explained by the sincere opinion of women that after the wedding they will be able to re-educate their husband. Some do not notice distinct signs at all, completely immersed in a loving feeling. And when the truth is revealed, they try in every possible way to correct the unfortunate situation.

Divorce becomes the first desire, however, this is not the best idea, since all men are selfish to some extent. And if this representative does not burn with the desire to take care, then where is the guarantee that the other will not get worse?

It is necessary to check how ready the egoist husband is for changes, how to deal with it - tips below.

  • The stick and stick method. If the husband's household habits and lack of attention cause the greatest irritation, you can try to have a soft conversation. It is likely that the spouse does not even know about your feelings. The conversation took place, but he took up the old? It is worth changing tactics.

    The egoist likes to present himself in the best light, so it remains to convince him of the values ​​​​of the family: those around him will die of envy from stories about joint holidays with children, which can be backed up with photos on the desktop. And the actions of an exemplary family man will increase the status in the eyes of management and friends. It is necessary to act at ease, but relying on an impressive evidence base, without humiliating or criticizing the husband.

  • Learn to love yourself. It is useful to take an example from the faithful and stop limiting yourself as much as possible for the sake of others. Does not give gifts and spends all the money on himself? You can turn the situation in a positive direction. It is important for an egoist that his companion be well-groomed and beautiful in order to increase self-esteem. Emphasize this in conversation.
  • natural laziness. The situation is a little more complicated if a woman is trying to solve the problem “her husband is selfish and lazy - what should I do?”. The morning should begin with praise and words about what a caring and attentive spouse you have. It is important to emphasize that without his help you cannot cope on your own, emphasizing its importance even in homework. Do not spare praise in front of friends and colleagues, so that the egoist has an incentive to act.
  • Down with the pedestal. The opinion of others is of great importance for an egoist, and adoration is taken for granted by him. In this case, praise should be only for real deeds, without paying any attention to fictional success. Try to show interest in those people who show care and kindness towards relatives. This may cause offense, but it will also make you think.
    • unemployed bummer. If the problem is a lack of desire to make money, give an example of someone you know who has achieved great success in his career. Artificially create a situation where he will have to find a higher paying job (contribute a smaller amount to the family budget).
    • But before starting the fight against the windmill, one should understand the motives of the actions of the selfish husband.

      Causes and types of selfishness

      The main source of such behavior lies in education. Surely in childhood, the mother took care of her son too much, giving everything and not demanding anything in return.

      And if this option is confirmed, it is practically impossible to re-educate such an egoist husband. Personality formation is completed at the age of 16, and no one will agree to give up the sweet life and permissiveness.

      The second reason is your behavior with your husband, when from the first minutes of meeting he was allowed to comfortably sit on the woman's neck. Attitude has become a habit and has become self-evident. Weaning should be gradual, so that the spouse does not think that he has stopped loving him, and does not go in search of support.

      All selfish natures are conditionally divided into three categories:

    1. "Smart Egoist"- puts himself in first place, but does not bother others with his whims.
    2. "Egoist inveterate"- confidently occupies a pedestal, not allowing loved ones to manage their personal lives. In his opinion, they should always be in close proximity, fulfilling whims.
    3. "Egoist Aggressive"- behavior is not subject to adjustment, since all persuasions or disputes cause a negative and violent reaction. Either the way he said or nothing. And the desires, conveniences and comfort of those around him do not care at all. From a wife of this type you can hear: “The husband is selfish and humiliates me”, while the advice of a psychologist will be limited to divorce.

    With complete indulgence of whims, a successful marriage with a selfish person is possible. But if a woman also likes to take first place or is not inclined to make concessions, the union will not lead to anything good.

    It happens that a husband shows care and attention, can deny himself a lot, but is an egoist in the intimate sphere. As soon as he gets pleasure, he turns away with a clear conscience and falls asleep.

    And in this case, a frank conversation will help, because if the partner does not talk about his own desires, he will definitely not read your thoughts. You can use several methods:

  • To fully engage in the game, seizing the initiative - this will interest the spouse, and he will not want to finish the process faster.
  • Refuse to fake an orgasm so that your husband does not think that you already had a good time.
  • In bed, do not think about problems so that the partner is convinced of the sincerity of feelings and sensations.
  • After all, if a woman treats sex as a physical need, it makes no sense to accuse her husband of selfishness. What to do if the husband is selfish only in bed?

    Become loving and liberated if you want noticeable changes. Try not to refuse sex, citing a headache, otherwise, with a positive answer in a week, the spouse will try to fulfill his duties as quickly as possible - and again become an egoist.

    It is worth taking into account the differences in physiological processes, when a woman needs more time than a man. In addition, the expectations of intimacy among members of the opposite sex are different: men chase quantity, while women value quality.

    Only discussion of problems will lead to a positive result!

    Love and harmony are possible in a family if you figure out how to live with an egoist husband. It is necessary to create comfortable conditions for the spouse so that he cannot imagine his own life without such a wonderful wife.

    A little correction in behavior - and he will learn to give back. The only taboo will be quarrels, scandals and reproaches - an egoist will not tolerate such an attitude. And in the absence of pressure and soft impact, after a while it will become malleable plasticine in skillful female hands.

    What to do if you hate your husband

    More recently, it would seem that Mendelssohn's march sounded, you looked at the groom with loving eyes, but now you cannot see him. Everything in her husband infuriates - as he says, he watches TV, eats, sleeps. Your mood drops even when you hear the turn of his key in the lock.

    What to do if you hate your husband so much that, even when talking with him on everyday topics, you can hardly restrain yourself so as not to break into a cry?! That his once native smell has become disgusting for you. That sex with him is sheer torment. What happened to him? Or is it your reason? And how to look at all its minuses not with hatred, but with understanding? Let's think.

    If you are annoyed by his shamelessness and laziness

    Hate does not appear in a vacuum. Sometimes the expected miracle turns into a real monster. You married the man in whom you saw a romantic young man: in love with you, making small and pleasant surprises. But in everyday life, he turned out to be completely different: scattered socks are a drop in the ocean. And how many other little things that were hidden during the candy-bouquet romance:

  • champing at the table;
  • wild laughter at stupid jokes;
  • mat-rewind through the word;
  • nothing in the house helps;
  • snores like a bulldozer;
  • shameless release of gases in the form of belching and farting.
  • Such trifles can be listed endlessly, and they gather into one nasty lump, it’s a shame for a husband in public, hatred splashes out of you even with one of his plebeian tricks. But is it all that sad?

    And you know, if he behaves like this, then you have become dear to your husband - a kind of indicator of complete trust. With you, he is honest and natural. You can't bear to live with him, just because you didn't know him like that before. You didn't have a life with him.

    But usually such men, as a rule, are not whimsical. They will be happy to wise up even a tasteless dinner prepared by their wife, they will not yell that their slippers are uneven in the corridor, they will not criticize their wife’s unsuccessful hairstyle. They simply do not notice it or tactfully keep silent, because all this suits them. Can you imagine if such a lazy and domestic cat is replaced with an evil demon?

    By the way, you can read about male laziness and hatred for the household in the article What to do if the husband does not want to do anything around the house.

    If he is "not a man, but a woman"

    It's amazing when women look for a "convenient" husband in every sense, sculpt from him the kind of man they would like to have for themselves, and then begin to hate them passionately. "A rag, not a man, a whiner, can't do anything without me." Of course, the name of such men is henpecked. And there are a lot of pluses in such a husband:

    He is a hard worker under the strict guidance of his wife - at least he will plow the harrow with his nose.

    He does not argue with his wife, rather agrees with her arguments.

    He is a good family man and a father to children - he does not walk, everything is in the house.

    But! Irritates his henpecked to furious hatred. A woman watches brutal males on TV and thinks: “What did I do wrong with mine?”. I just want to say to such a lady: “What's wrong? Throw out your husband like a kitten - he will dutifully leave, and change for brutal. There will be no such plasticine, and figs what you blind from it. And then do not complain that you are unhappy - he will hate you, even for one attempt to open his mouth to him. So it’s better to remodel your own spouse in a new way. ”

    Fragment from the film "The Wolf of Wall Street"

    It is excruciating to live with a man who, only by a stamp in his passport, is listed as a husband. No, he does not tyrannize his missus, does not swing his fist, does not shout. On the contrary, he is cold towards her. At the same time, he gives her complete freedom of action, but the flame of hatred burns in a woman. It would seem - to her husband. Indeed, how to live with this if:

  • his friends come first;
  • everyone already knows about his betrayals;
  • he is stingy with words of love and a manifestation of tenderness;
  • he forgets about sex with his own wife;
  • it can disappear without explanation (read why this happens).
  • In fact, a woman with such a husband feels hatred not for him, but for his coldness and inattention to her. If she didn’t immediately leave him, then in her heart she loves him madly and is afraid of losing him. And his indifference inspires even more fear of parting.

    Therefore, if the former flame of love for his wife is not rekindled in him - through his jealousy, her transformation - then everything will be so. Tantrums and demands will only aggravate the situation. Such marriages are good when they are calculated: simple mutual benefit, nothing personal.

    If you yourself fell in love with another

    Well, it turned out like this - everyday life with her husband became boring and familiar, nothing changes, and here he is: on the way he met - the man of his dreams. And this lover seems to be an ideal: passion and celebration are with him, and dullness and boredom with her husband. And the woman suddenly began to feel that she fiercely hates her husband, because everything in him is not the same as with the new macho. Although her husband is good and is not guilty of anything before her.

    A woman involuntarily thinks about recognition and divorce, hoping for a new happy marriage, where there will be a holiday every day. Even her husband's touches, his voice and his smell become unpleasant to her - because she began to have something to compare with.

    And now, dear reader, if you find yourself in the same situation, imagine what will happen if you still want to radically change the whole situation and get divorced. This person who annoys you now will never, ever be around again. He knows all your habits, knows how to forgive your weaknesses, he is, in principle, a native person for you. And because of your stupidity, he will disappear from your life forever.

    But with a new boyfriend - how it will turn out. This is while he is a holiday person for you, for sure you and your husband once experienced the same passion before the wedding, just the boat of love crashed into everyday life. But will your new gentleman in everyday life be the same native-relative to the point of madness?

    If he is a "demon in the flesh"

    It is almost impossible to understand women who live with tyrant husbands, hate them fiercely and at the same time continue to live on and endure all their antics. How can you live with such a Herod?

    He often screams and uses force: he is accustomed to disturbing and beating his wife. And for any reason: for a poorly made bed, for breakfast served at the wrong time, for a “crooked” word spoken to him.

    If he drinks, then his frenzied antics are not the result of his drinking, but of his aggressive nature. Alcohol simply exacerbates aggression, and he is simply evil in life.

    Jealousy from scratch - he is jealous for no reason, and not for a specific man, but simply finds a reason for a scandal.

    He is annoyed even by his own children and a house cat - God forbid this gets under the arm when he is in the heat of anger.

    If a woman tolerates this, she is either a masochist or simply afraid of losing at least some man, so as not to be left alone. Moreover, such tyrant husbands find a tricky move: when they see that the wife’s strength has dried up and she is ready for a divorce, they wallow at the wife’s feet, beg for forgiveness and swear that they won’t do it again. Yep, it's only for a week. A woman is able to forgive and regret. Moreover, he will also be justified in front of everyone.

    What should I do if my husband is abusive?

    In family life, everything cannot go smoothly all the time. Husband and wife cannot have exactly the same characters, so disagreements, even in the most ideal relationship, can sometimes reach a critical point. Each side wants to prove its case, any arguments are used. Insults from her husband will be a complete surprise for a woman who believed that her husband was the most well-mannered and seasoned.

    The fact that the husband broke loose is very unpleasant. If this happened only once, then you should try to forget about the incident and continue to live on. What if the husband is constantly insulting, if he has developed in family life the habit of constantly keeping his wife in a state of fright? We must try to figure out why this happens, and then decide: file for divorce or reconcile, or try to make every effort so that this never happens again.

    Husband insults, wife is to blame

    We must try to look at the relationship with her husband as if from the outside. The husband finds fault and insults such a wife who has a too quiet character, who is afraid to even object to him. Such a woman may even consider herself very wise, since she thinks that by being silent, she reduces the amount of abuse, and her husband will quickly cool down. But it may be that the husband is furious precisely because his beloved woman cannot defend her own point of view.

    If a husband in such a stupid way wants to re-educate his wife, then this only proves that the man is not very smart and does not love his wife very much. What to do if a husband insults his wife? It is worth considering several options for the aggressiveness of the husband:

  • a man is aggressive only when intoxicated;
  • temper is short-lived;
  • insults are permanent, this is the norm of his behavior.
  • If a husband insults his wife, alcohol is to blame

    In a state of intoxication or even "poisoning" each person behaves not too adequately. Someone declares his love to everyone in a row, and someone in this state becomes a real monster for the whole family. If there is a popular proverb: "What a sober man has in his head, then a drunkard has it on his tongue." Women take on the wisdom of their ancestors and are very offended when they hear that they ruined their husbands' whole life.

    In fact, everything is not so, your drunken husbands can say anything and you should not believe it too much. Here there is a completely different problem: what to do if the spouse cannot stop drinking or does not want to? It is necessary to solve this problem, and the current problem simply will not exist. Therefore, be patient and help your husband get rid of severe alcohol addiction. Try not to arrange holidays and celebrations at home, where there will be alcohol, because this will only provoke your husband to aggression.

    Husband insults his wife in a fit of temper

    A smart woman will very quickly realize that if a husband insults his wife, his temperament or troubles at work can sometimes be behind this. Choleric men are prone to this behavior, all psychologists will confirm this, but this does not make it easier for you. But experts will also say that the situation can be corrected.

    When the husband is in a good mood, you need to be more tactful with him to talk about existing problems, about how you feel bad from his harsh words. A loving husband will definitely make contact and even agree to a consultation with a family therapist. We must be patient in relations with such a man, remain with him, as always, a sweet wife at the moments of his attacks, and be sure to:

  • you can’t be rude to him and try to offend him;
  • you can’t interrupt him, it will only turn him on more;
  • you must not allow physical violence on your part (for example, slaps in the face);
  • you can raise your voice, but within reasonable limits;
  • we must try to move the scandal from the kitchen or bedroom to another room.
  • Psychologists consider the last item to be mandatory if you want to cure your husband of an aggressive state in family relationships. It cannot be allowed that a husband insults his wife in intimate places, these rooms should only be conducive to good moments.

    It should not be such that the husband constantly insults

    But it is not always necessary to look for compromises in such family relationships. The husband constantly insults just like that: he is used to it, he has seen it since childhood in the relationship between his father and mother, he has rudeness - the norm of life. One can only sympathize with the woman who married the tyrant. If she has the strength to fight, then you can film your husband when he is especially rampant and then show when he is in a benevolent state.

    If a man feels shame, then such a relationship is still worth fighting for. But if the husband does not even understand what is the matter, then you need to think about it: what does this marriage give you, except for insults? Is it necessary to endure such a family tyrant, because he will make your children suffer too. A sense of self-respect, a belief that you should have a better life, should tell you what to do.

    How to live with a mean husband

    According to the Internet, Faina Ranevskaya claimed: “Life is too short to spend it on diets, bad moods and stingy men.” Those who were personally acquainted with the actress assure that not all the statements attributed to Faina Georgievna really relate to her.

    See also: What women's habit can kill sex life

    Scientists at the Bloomberg School of Public Health at Johns Hopkins University in the United States argue that women who do not consult with their husbands about the house are more likely to suffer from sexual dissatisfaction. The study found that the more a wife makes decisions about the household without consulting her husband, the less sex she has in her life. In any case, sex with her husband. So, powerful women have sex with their lawful husband 100 times less often than their more accommodating girlfriends.

    But in this case, no matter who this quote belongs to, it is one hundred percent true - at least in that part of it that concerns greedy men. But what to do if you nevertheless managed to connect your life with a stingy person whom you love too much to part with him in order to find yourself another - more generous?

    Greed, as, indeed, any other not very pleasant feature of a loved one, does not immediately become a problem for us. As a rule, at the beginning of our life together, we look at all his shortcomings exclusively through rose-colored glasses, in some cases even perceiving them as virtues. As a result, there is a substitution of concepts - we begin to consider greed as thrift and the ability to save, and on a subconscious level we calm down and persuade ourselves: “Behind such a husband, like behind a stone wall, he will carry everything into the house!”

    However, sooner or later, rose-colored glasses have to be removed - or the color of their glasses becomes not bright enough - and then you have to call a spade a spade. Understanding that a loved one is not so much thrifty and economical as a banal miser, you need to answer yourself the logical question in this case: what to do with it?

    Fixation on material difficulties

    First of all, try to understand: how did it happen that your husband became a miser? Perhaps it was all the fault of a difficult life situation, during which he had to face severe financial problems. It does not matter what period of life it happened - in childhood, when parents, finding themselves in cramped material circumstances, denied everything not only to themselves, but also to their son, or in the first years of life together, when you, earning for the future, were forced to lead more than a humble lifestyle.

    Much more important is that the person you love is fixed at this stage of life - a strong fear for the financial situation of the family, experienced in the past, is reflected in the attitude towards money today and is transferred to the future. Money has become for him a symbol of stability and confidence in the future, so any attempt to get out of the budget, even if it’s just about buying lipstick or nail polish, is perceived by him as an attempt to violate this very stability, and therefore meets with hostility. Often such people, even having become rich, continue to save on trifles - this is how they feel protected from poverty and lack of money.

    You can't change another person

    » try to figure out: how did it happen that your husband became a miser? "

    The first thing you need to realize and firmly understand: it is impossible to remake another person by adjusting it to yourself, especially if you want harmonious and equal relationships that do not involve manipulation and training of a partner.

    The worst thing you can do here is to shame your loved one, accusing him of stinginess, and make scandals, trying to get your way. You should not even hope that the miser will suddenly repent of his behavior and begin to show miracles of generosity - more than ninety percent will not happen. So, is there no way out of this situation?

    Fortunately, there is. True, for this you will have to change the line of your behavior. So, you should not demand that your loved one buy you something immediately - here and now. Most likely, you will not succeed, and no arguments will help here. Therefore, plan any - even insignificant - purchase in advance, a man should get used to the idea that the money will still have to be spent. The main thing is not to scare him with unforeseen expenses.

    It would also be useful to consult with your spouse before each new acquisition, which, by the way, will not only help you settle financial issues, but also strengthen your relationship with your loved one.

    From time to time, you can afford and cheat by saving money or convincing your loved one that your mother gave you a new perfume, and a friend who didn’t fit gave you a new dress. In the case of a stingy man, such an innocent deception will be a white lie, the main thing is that it does not become a habit with you, otherwise it will be possible to put an end to relationships - it is impossible to build them on lies.

    Thank you for your help in preparing the material. psychologist Marina Eliseeva.

    It happens that, having lived a couple of years in a happy marriage, a woman discovers that her husband has become indifferent to her and is not interested either as a man or as a friend. What's this?

    The crisis stage of family life that needs to be experienced? Or is love really gone? In any case, you need to understand yourself, because living with an unloved husband is hard, this can provoke an intrapersonal conflict that will be difficult to fight.

    After two or three years of marriage, the relationship between spouses changes. Passion, vivid emotions gradually disappear, completely different feelings come in their place. This surprises and frightens many girls, they begin to think that they have fallen out of love with their spouse. In fact, this is not so, it’s just that love has acquired a different quality, and you need to accept that now your relationship has become stronger and calmer.

    There are situations when a woman really stopped loving her husband. The reason for this could be resentment and disappointment. This happens in the family after the birth of a child. Cooling rarely happens on its own. And here the question arises: is it possible to live with an unloved husband? You can live for some time without feeling any feelings for your partner.

    True, this situation is often complicated by the fact that a woman does not want to have sex with a stranger who has become her. This provokes quarrels, misunderstandings and conflicts. Sometimes indifference is replaced by irritation and even hatred. This is where mental throwing begins, developing into an intrapersonal conflict. Women often cannot make a choice: save their family at any cost or leave. And sometimes the cause of internal discord is a misunderstanding of whether there are at least some feelings towards the spouse. Maybe the cooling happened only temporarily?

    There is an easy way to check if you still love your spouse. Imagine that he has another woman. What do you feel about it? Or imagine that he left forever for a distant country. Do you want to drop everything and follow him? If you are ready to fight for your husband, to run after him to the ends of the earth, then most likely your relationship has not fully exhausted itself. If you don't care, then love is gone.

    When answering this question, people tend to take one of two extreme positions. The first sounds like this: "This is your fate, be patient." Adherents of the second point of view urge a woman not to waste her life, not torturing herself and another person and break off relationships.

    Both are not easy to do. There are situations when a spouse is both gentle and caring, but still there is no love. And to leave it means to inflict a serious injury on a person, to offend and offend. How to proceed? First you need to analyze your feelings. If you are still together, what binds you? Maybe you are afraid of the impact of divorce on children? Or does your spouse provide for you, are you used to living in comfort and security and do not want to lose such a comfortable life?

    Or maybe you still retain gratitude and respect, even if these feelings are hidden for the time being in the hidden corners of your soul? Or is the family for you a cure for boredom and loneliness? If you sincerely answer these questions for yourself, it will be easier for you to make a choice. View your relationship from the perspective of your global life plans. Think about whether the family, as it is, will help to realize your main dreams? From this point of view and try to make a decision. Emotions, conflicts are unlikely to help you. Before making a choice, you need to stop the scandals in the family, if there are any, take a break, perhaps leave for a while, if circumstances allow. Probably, in separation, it will be easier for you to understand yourself and your feelings.

    How to live with an unloved husband? Final advice...

    And finally, the easiest way to understand how to live with an unloved husband. If, in spite of everything, you have maintained a trusting relationship with your spouse, then you should just sit down and talk heart to heart. It may not be possible to talk about love, but it should become easier for you. Tell him in a soft way what you feel, do not be afraid to offend him.

    Your incomprehensible cooling and detachment, which you do not explain in any way, cause much more pain. Think together if you can somehow change the situation. Most importantly, do not blame your chosen one, just discuss your feelings with him. This will definitely help. In order to make a vital decision, personal maturity is necessary. You need to stop feeling dependent on circumstances and the opinions of other people. You will need to increase self-confidence, grow up and take responsibility for your actions. And then you will see that there is no right or wrong choice. There is only a solution, thanks to which peace will come to your soul, even if it is associated with difficulties.

    Tags: relationship with husband

    We were like that too. As it turned out, he had 8 years as there was another. Creature. I can’t get a divorce. We have 5 children. Every day, when I look at him, I see her face. And I don’t forget about it. I also begged for sex once a month almost. She sees me everywhere.

    I have been living with my husband for 5 years in a civil marriage. I have a son. There is no love. My parents help me, especially my mother. I feel like I'm not living my life.

    In the 5th year of marriage, I realized that I didn’t love my husband and that we were completely different people. For the first two years of my life together, I didn’t notice me, ignored me as a woman, appropriate jokes, ridicule. Now I’ve changed, but something has broken in me, some kind of internal resentment remains , anger and even hatred for a person. I try to be affectionate towards him, but I break down. I can’t change my attitude towards him. It’s really very difficult.

    I have been living with a man for 20 years, I have been living abroad without a coxie, but just a man was a pidtrimka. I myself love people as they learn, as they develop their hobbies, and a person loves a sofa and a TV. Sex with him is hard labor. O children, for their sake I endure, and it is terrible to start a new life myself .... I entrusted such families to myzha in a leather apartment, all live and create visibility for people .... but really alone live diyno in zlogodі і kohannі, such people can be seen, and dreamed about a person who is wise to you, who is in my mind, please, give birth, the whole bіda of people live “for” women, women make decisions, women earn money, women develop and people degrade and become valises without a handle, and it’s a pity to carry it and throw it away

    My advice: Remember the saying "Love your neighbor as yourself" We are loved exactly as much as we love ourselves. Happiness can only be given by those who force themselves to be happy. After all, it does not depend on anything. I opened my eyes in the morning, thank God for everything I have, for the opportunity to live another wonderful day in this world! To begin with, to expel all resentment from the soul, nothing can be worse, resentment is the worm that sharpens and destroys a person from the inside. Following the resentment, anger, irritation, hatred will settle in the soul. You can change someone only through yourself, and the hardest work is work on yourself. The people around us are a reflection of ourselves, our shortcomings. We just need to learn to see it! If God wants to make us happy, he leads us on the most difficult path, simply because otherwise we would not appreciate what comes into our lives.

    Having lived with my husband for nine years, I corrected the most important flaw in myself - resentment. I was offended so often, I was a step away from a psychiatric hospital, the thought of tightening the noose around my neck, yes! what to remember was not easy. I spent a year of my life to learn to forgive and forget, I patiently wait until my husband matures before a divorce, so that they let each other go with kindness !! Everything in my life magically began to change, along with how I changed myself, I forced myself to fall in love with myself and be happy every day no matter what!

    How to painlessly survive a divorce with your husband

    A divorce certificate is not just a legal document, it is a point at the end of family life. The reason for all divorces is the lack of love. If it is not there, then there is no full-fledged family. Even if one of the spouses suffers from addictions (likes to drink or play gambling or computer games), can flirt with someone or even change, the second will forgive him, try to help him in every possible way, protect him from criticism, etc. If he decides to leave once and for all, then he no longer loves.

    As a rule, people do not come to parting immediately, but first they try to save the marriage, so divorce is not a surprise. But there are situations when the spouse comes home, says that it is necessary to leave, gets ready and leaves. At the same time, the wife’s condition is as if the ground had been knocked out from under her feet, her whole life, all her dreams collapsed and shattered. Under any circumstances, you can always find options for how to survive a divorce from your husband.

    In our country, ex-wives suffer more when a marital relationship breaks up. Firstly, the children almost always stay with them, secondly, in most cases you have to run around to get alimony, thirdly, the wages of women on average in Russia are lower than those of men, fourthly, single women are very a lot, finding a new good husband is not easy. But divorce from her husband is not an apocalypse. There is life after divorce.

    If separation is the only way

    You and your husband have begun to realize that you are no longer connected. You do not talk because there is nothing, you are not interested in how he is doing at work, what he thinks about, how he lives, you do not ask his opinion on any issues, sometimes his presence is annoying, etc. And he treats you the same way. This is a dead end, there is no more relationship, the only way out is parting. You are not a family, you are neighbors in a communal apartment.

    Keeping a marriage for the sake of children, money or housing, for fear of being alone is a bad idea. If you and your spouse have the strength to play the role for the rest of your life, you can continue to live together. But is it strong enough? And why tie yourself to an almost broken family when you can change your life and become happy? In this case, divorce is the only way out, there is no more love between you.

    Do not be afraid of divorce if you and your husband no longer want to be together. Don't listen to anyone but your heart. Only you can know exactly how to do the right thing. This is your life, your future, your feelings. It is you who decides how to deal with them. Parents and other relatives, most likely, will give advice, someone will dissuade, someone, on the contrary, will add fuel to the fire. The wisest will simply be there and support in difficult times.

    To make it easier to survive a divorce with your husband, do not communicate with those who want to influence your decision. Do not spoil relations with your ex-spouse, do not insult, do not humiliate. Try to resolve all issues related to the dissolution of marriage and the distribution of property, without conflicts. So it will be easier for you, the divorce process will end much faster. At the same time, stand up for your legal rights. Should pay alimony - let him pay. Most of the property is yours - insist on a fair division. In most cases, in case of a divorce at the request of both spouses, the process is peaceful.

    The initiator of the divorce is the wife

    You have made the decision that you no longer want to live with this family. The husband drinks and is not treated, beats you, work is more important for him, has a mistress, etc. You are tired, you don't want to take it anymore, you don't love it anymore. The spouse may not give consent to the dissolution of the marriage, then the issue will be decided in court. At the same time, it will be more difficult to survive a divorce from your husband.

    Get ready for possible moral pressure from his relatives. Do not give them the opportunity to climb into your family life, stop communicating with them. Enlist the support of family and friends. Don't let yourself be offended. It is not uncommon for a husband and his relatives or friends to threaten. Don't be shy or afraid to talk about it in court. File a police report if there is hard evidence, such as threatening phone calls or emails.

    If your husband likes to drink, and when parting with him, you are tormented by your conscience that you are leaving the patient, try to look at the situation from a different angle. He drinks, not you. Any person has a desire to be happy, have a normal family, live and be happy, including you. You helped your spouse, but he chose him between you and alcohol, that is, ethyl alcohol took first place, and the family came second. It was your husband who betrayed you, not the other way around.

    It may also happen that you destroy your family for the sake of another man. During a divorce, you will have to go through a lot: condemnation, insults, reproaches from your husband and his loved ones, fear of the future, pangs of conscience, the realization that you offended a person. But remember that without love, you and your husband will still not be happy. It is better to say directly that you no longer want to live together than to deceive your spouse. Cheating is much worse than divorce. You will be honest if you offer to leave. Keeping a family out of pity for her husband is not worth it. You and he will suffer living together.

    Divorce concerns only you and your husband, do not let everyone else get into your relationship. Friends, parents, brothers and sisters, uncles and aunts should only take care of their personal lives. If you need advice or help, then you yourself turn to them. Whenever they try to get into your life feel free to tell them about it. Be tactful and correct so as not to offend loved ones.

    If the husband chose a mistress

    Everything was fine in the family, but the husband suddenly decided to leave. In 90% of cases, he wants a divorce because he has another. When a mistress has been chosen instead of you, it is very hard to go through, but it is possible. The husband did not immediately decide to leave the family for another woman, at first he began to secretly meet with her, that is, to change. This can be seen in the behavior of her husband. There are very few such cases when men choose a mistress, not a wife, but still they happen. How to survive a divorce with her husband if he preferred another?

    Get him out of your life first. Far hide or throw out all joint photos and videos. Try not to communicate with him and his entourage. You can change your phone number and place of residence for a while. Delete all his contacts, so that even if you wish, it would not be possible to contact him. He doesn't love you anymore, so you don't need him anymore.

    Your ex-husband is now a stranger to you. You should not care where he works, with whom he communicates, where and with whom he lives, how his health is, what he bought, what he sold, where he went. Are you interested in other people? Probably no. So is the husband. Don't try to prove anything to him. Do not run headlong to look for any man and live with him. You live once, your goal is to be happy, and not waste time proving to a stranger that you live better than him.

    Take a break from the situation. Change your look: dye your hair, buy trendy clothes, get a new hairstyle. Try to do something you've never done before. For example, skydiving, boxing or hand-to-hand combat. There you will meet new people, find new friends. Discover a different life. Escaping stress by digging into work is not the best way out. There were no pets - get a dog. They are very devoted to their owners. Caring for someone helps to distract.

    Do good. There are so many people and animals around that need your help. If your city has a shelter for homeless and abandoned animals, you can become a volunteer and take care of them. Help abandoned old people and children from orphanages. They are much worse off than you. You can take care of yourself without help, but they can't. The good that you give to the world will come back to you.

    Remember! You are strictly forbidden to whine, roar, suffer, remember, complain, not take care of yourself, drink alcohol, think about death. Everything that is done is for the best, even if you broke up with your husband.

    How to live with a husband if he is annoying

    What to do if the husband beats? Whom to turn to for help if there are always some excesses and incidents at home, if the wild antics of the spouse follow one after another and the woman's health is constantly under threat. There are a number of tips and recommendations from psychologists that you should listen to if a woman wants to get rid of domestic violence. If a husband beats and insults, then, first of all, a woman must understand that it is she who allows her husband to beat her and treats her like that. It is her choice to be a victim because of her unwillingness to influence the situation.

    The psychology of family relations, where the husband is a tyrant, and the wife is a victim, is quite complicated. But this does not mean at all that the husband does not love his soul mate. He's probably just a tyrannical character. Tyrants are able to use physical violence against a spouse and even children. Statistics show that women and children often become victims of beatings by a tyrant husband and father. The situation can be aggravated even more by the use of alcohol or drugs by a man, which will only increase aggression and turn off control over all his actions. A domestic tyrant shows his cruelty only in relation to his family and within his home. Having met a bully on the street, he is unlikely to resist him, since a weak and small coward sits inside him.

    Why do some women get normal spouses, while others suffer from tyranny? Because one woman, having heard the questions of the following plan: “Where were you?” or “Why are you ten minutes late?” immediately breaks off relations, not wanting to account for every step taken, and the other will endure and, having married, will make excuses all her life. It's all about the choice of women, because no one imposes to marry a tyrant, the female person chooses him herself.

    The behavior of a tyrant-husband is an indicator of his self-doubt. He is afraid because of the obsessive thought that a woman will find a more worthy applicant instead of him. Most girls initially think that if a man is jealous, then he loves. Maybe love, but special love. Thus, some ladies allow themselves to be controlled by a tyrant, while others do not.

    Women who have a similar situation with their father allow themselves to be manipulated. The girl absorbs everything like a sponge, forming the opinion that this is the right model of relationships, where a man is aggressive and impudent, and a woman is submissive. Instinctively, she is looking for an impudent man who can humiliate her and give her the opportunity to be submissive. Such is the psychology of the relationship between the husband of the tyrant and the wife of the victim. Therefore, every woman herself needs to decide: whether to live with her tyrant husband, trying to re-educate him or to leave his life forever.

    Female victims are psychologically dependent on such relationships. Tyrant husbands, realizing their power over their household, enjoy it, and wives are constantly looking for excuses for their behavior. Manifestations of aggression are attributed to fatigue and workload and the like.

    Often, “showdowns” with assault end with mutual declarations of love and reconciliation with the help of violent intimacy. The wife from such scandals and reconciliations becomes dependent, like a drug addict. She is inside the situation and cannot immediately determine that she is a puppet in a relationship that is successfully manipulated. When close and dear people start telling her about it, she does not believe them. And he claims that he has a difficult character, and they interfere with her happiness.

    If, nevertheless, a woman decided to rein in the tyrant, then psychologists advise to convey to her husband that all his actions will be known to her relatives and friends, who will always come to the rescue. He needs to be reminded that there are articles in the criminal law calling for accountability for assault, physical and moral torture.

    What to do if the husband beats and insults? You must immediately show your husband that this is absolutely unacceptable for you. You should find the determination and strength in yourself to tell him that such behavior is unacceptable for you. It is strictly forbidden to find arguments to justify violence. With her forgiveness and kindness, a woman will only provoke again and again to new violence.

    If the husband constantly beats, then in fact he needs the help of a psychologist. The role of a man is to patronize and protect a woman, to take care of her. If a man, instead of protection and love, humiliates a woman and beats her, then this is a psychopathology that needs not the forgiveness of his wife, but the help of a specialist. It is often a problem to persuade a husband to seek help from a psychologist. Until a man realizes that in reality this is his problem, which can destroy family life. If the spouse does not become ill from realizing this, then he will not change.

    What to do if the husband beats when drunk? Leave immediately and leave before it's too late. To be afraid of leaving is stupid, one should be afraid that life with this cruel person can be broken forever. Is this life, always being a victim, with no opportunity to show your sense of dignity and femininity.

    If a provocateur of male aggressive behavior is not a woman, then you should leave immediately, and without hesitation. You should not think that this situation can be endured and one fine day everything will change by itself and the husband will improve.

    What to do so that the husband does not beat? A woman needs to adjust her behavior in relation to her companion. It should be clearly explained to the husband: “if you hit, then I will leave.” Waiting passively is the wrong decision.

    In order not to beat the husband, one should abandon excessive demands, as well as doubts about his abilities, and not show ridicule at him. If the husband has a predisposition to violence, then it is required not to show a hostile attitude towards him, since the beatings will be of a regular nature and the spouse will thus begin to relieve aggression and tension. It is not recommended to provoke unnecessary quarrels, and in moments of aggression of the husband, you should try to let him cool down, and only then, in a calm atmosphere, try to find out what worries the man.

    If insults and threats to life are heard from a man, then you should not take risks. You should leave your spouse for some period of life and go to friends or relatives. If a man threatens with a weapon, then he should, without demonstrating his intentions, secretly and quietly leave him, since safety and health are above all.

    When the woman is safe, you need to calm down, take a sheet of paper and write down the chronology of family conflicts: how it all started and why the man raised his hand. It is important to emotionally distance yourself from the situation and look at it from the side in order to understand who provoked it.

    A woman should in no case justify the behavior of her husband, it is necessary to understand the psychological causes of attacks of anger. If this is a parental program, and the husband saw such an attitude towards a woman from his parents, then this is the norm for him. If he does not want to change, then in this case there are no options - you cannot live with a sadistic husband.

    What to do if the husband beats, but there is nowhere to go? In large cities, there are centers for helping victims of domestic violence. Crisis centers for women and their families provide temporary shelter at any time of the day in an emergency.

    Crisis assistance centers provide the following social services:

    - legal and psychological assistance;

    — provide qualified medical, pedagogical consultation;

    - provide support to women in solving problems in finding their internal resources and their own opportunities to overcome life's difficult situations;

    - conduct individual diagnostic interviews;

    — provide assistance in referral to specialized institutions of those persons who need treatment.

    What to do if the husband began to beat, i.e. This is a one-time conflict. If the husband has never behaved like this before and suddenly began to beat, then the emotional state of the spouse in which he has been lately should be assessed. Negative events that occurred recently in his life may have provoked this behavior. This is not an excuse, it is only a search for the cause of such behavior. Maybe recently a woman has been psychologically taunting her husband, instead of supporting him during a difficult period. In this case, you should reconsider your behavior towards your husband and improve relations.

    It often happens that a husband beats and insults not only his wife, but also a child who just fell under a hot hand and is not to blame for anything. This indicates the presence of obvious psychopathological abnormalities. If a woman wants to leave this tyrant, then in this case it is necessary to act as carefully as possible, since he is capable of revenge.

    What to do if a husband beats a pregnant wife? This problem cannot be hushed up and you should try to endure it, you should seek help from social services, the police, psychologists, and centers for helping victims of domestic violence. The problem of women is that they do not value themselves, do not love and do not respect, allowing such an attitude towards themselves. If there is a desire to correct your husband, then only a psychologist can help him with this. With her love, a woman cannot re-educate a domestic tyrant. In fact, assistance to women who have suffered from domestic violence is multifaceted and includes both psychological assistance to a woman and psychotherapeutic correction of the spouse's personality. To improve relations in the family, so that violence stops, only a specialist psychologist can help.

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    42 comments on the entry “What to do if the husband beats”

    I have a problem - my husband beats me and insults me. Most often, the blow falls on my head, on the left side ... .. my head hurts quite often after that, I did an x-ray, they said that nothing was visible, but in the weather my head starts to hurt at the points of impact, so I have to drink painkillers. We don’t talk at home, he’s always on the Internet, he can’t eat with me in the kitchen, I eat by myself. If he has things to do, I have to do everything with him, or rather, almost everything for him, if I need help, then I stay with my problem myself, he answers “what good is this for me?” When I say “you give me you don’t help, and I won’t, ”I immediately get in my head. Offensive phrases like a freak, a creature, a bitch fly at me ....... He reacts to tears only with even greater aggression. It thrashes normally, white flashes in the eyes during the blow. He usually hits when I want to do my own thing, and he needs me to do it, but then I don’t have time for me. I work, he doesn't, sits at home for days. He earns more than me, sells toys, and reproaches me for wasting time and earning pennies.

    In any dispute, all I hear about all my arguments is shut your mouth, otherwise I’ll hit you, and when I start asking for what, he already beats me. I repeatedly went to my parents, the first time he came to pick me up, and then he just waits for me to return. I have very well-mannered parents and I am very afraid to tell them that my husband beats me ... We do not have an intimate life, he is my first partner and he is simply not interested in me, sex once a month. I am 22 years old, I study at the institute, I work, I earn extra money, he does not give me money for clothes, I need a car. I'm afraid to leave, he always reproaches me with a small breast size and says that no one needs me like me. After that, I'm afraid to open up to people. I used to be a very cheerful and active girl, now all this is forbidden to me, at home I also have to be silent.

    Hello Victoria. “I’m afraid to leave, he always reproaches me with a small breast size and says that no one needs me like me.”

    Do you need yourself? Do you love yourself?

    After 15 years, your husband will reproach you with the fact that you are old and look bad; headaches will lead to the fact that when you do an MRI, you will find a lot of interesting things in yourself, for example (brain contusion, subarachnoid hemorrhage, cerebral edema, tumor). Loss of health will lead to disability. You will lose partially or completely your ability to work and will not be able to enjoy life. Did you dream of such a life? If yes, then live with your husband further, if not, start packing today.

    Hello. I really need your help, I don’t know where else to turn, my husband beats me and insults me now, out of hopelessness, I live with him, but almost every week he beats me and kicks me out, all this in front of my son! I worked, but since the last time I beat him very hard, I had to quit! Nowhere to go because in 2010 I was deceived by realtors. When I had the opportunity to rent a room with my son, as soon as he walked up he pressed on pity, asked for forgiveness and I broke down! Everything started again! The thing is that we live with my mother-in-law, I’m afraid to go to the police and I know that it’s useless and then she will rot, he will turn everything in her direction! And since there is no housing now, I am afraid that they will deprive me of parental rights! He often threatens it! Sorry for the mistakes, I write quickly so that he does not recognize!

    One more question, if I go there, will they deprive me of my birth rights?

    No, you and your child can be provided with temporary housing in a social shelter and help with employment through the labor exchange.

    The fact is that the realtors illegally discharged me from the apartment, I am a citizen of the Russian Federation. But you have to register. And my son is registered with my husband, I tried to extend the child allowance, but I was even denied this because there was no stamp in my passport! I recently divorced him, but when he beats him, he kicks the two of us out!

    We've been married for almost 22 years. When we first met, but I was already pregnant, a criminal case was opened against him and, as a result, he was sentenced to 3 years.

    He was my first and only love. I waited and thought happiness would begin. After he was released, quarrels began and he began to raise his hand against me. But while my father and grandfather were alive (I think so), it was still half the trouble. We lived in the village for 7 years, I did not work. Household, garden and small children. My husband felt like I was sitting on his neck. Scandals began over money, and not only. Somehow my husband became addicted to alcohol, people started talking about walking. There were sprees for several days and he did not come home. Let me think about how to get on my feet, because I realized that at any moment I can fly out of the house (bought together). I got a job in the city. He realized that nothing was working out for him with the household, and he moved to work in the city. This is where the worst began. How many times he raised his hand I can't count. Domestic problems rained down on my head, then buy clothes for the children, then the refrigerator flew, I entered the university in absentia, since I had no education. Somehow I got into debt. And at home a nightmare, he began to walk in a brazen, nodding his fists every other day. She left, returned, there was nothing to rent an apartment for. I wanted to return to the village, my mother found out, they threw a tantrum on me, where I want to take the children. Although how many times I came to her at night and during the day after beatings. She thought she would help me a little financially to rent an apartment, but she did not help. There were situations that I had to run away almost naked, I was in the hospital several times, called the police, wrote a statement. One answer is go away. And for the soul, a small salary and debts, and the most banal, things that were bought on credit and I paid for them for years, will remain with him. The children have grown up and are learning. And it’s good that they don’t see everything ...

    I didn’t write, but I still want to hear advice from a psychologist.

    Hello Larisa. You wrote the story of your difficult life, which you chose yourself. If you cannot bear to live like this, then you need to change your life. You cannot change your husband.

    Good afternoon! We have been married to my husband for 2 years, we have a daughter 1.3! Before that they were together for 6 years. My husband constantly insults me and beats me! Aggressive outbursts occur. When the child was born, it was as if the husband had been replaced - he had been a party-goer before, but then he began to disappear, he went on a drinking binge for weeks. Against the background of his binges, we cursed and he could beat me badly, and then as if nothing had happened! I forgave, I loved very much! He went clubbing with girls - I sat at home and hoped that over time he would realize that he was wrong. The peak came after 6 months, when he, with a child, began to smash the apartment and yell! I took the child and went to my parents! He made a den out of the apartment, and I said that I would never go back there. After 2 months, we reconciled and began to live with my parents. Over time, the parties faded away. There were fewer of them and he began to drink less! But insults, outbursts of anger, aggression remained! The last time he hit me hard on the head because he began to insult me, humiliate me and I asked him to leave my parents' house! He became furious and hit his head three times with his fist! He was not going to leave and had to call his mother for help: she asked him to leave! How to be? Divorce? I'm afraid that when we move to live separately, he will insult me ​​right in front of the child! Can kick with a fist! Now I don't talk to him. I don `t want. But we have a common child. We had to move, and after the last blow, 3 months passed, he behaved well, but his intimate life disappeared, and now, after 3 months, an outburst of anger, insults and another blow. Now I plan to not communicate with him! I want to celebrate New Year separately! See if he will come with apologies and repentance, and then with the condition of a psychologist or psychiatrist, to give one last chance and move to a new apartment, but with the condition that one more insult and I will leave and will not return there, nor will he return to my parents.

    Hello. Please give me advice on how to behave with my husband. Married for 19 years. I didn’t want to marry him, I didn’t love him, but he surrounded me with care and attention, and then she became pregnant. At the beginning of our life, he was kind and attentive, but after the birth of his daughter, frequent scandals began, he could remain silent when I turned to him with a question. I had to ask a question several times and wait for an answer even to a simple “Are you hungry? Do you want to eat?" Then he stopped calling me. He never called me by my first name. "Beloved", "dear", etc. He didn't say my name. At first I did not attach any importance to this, but then he stopped calling me completely. If he needs something, he just says it, even when he is in another room. Repeated conversations led nowhere. He never praised me or said "thank you". He could only express his displeasure if he did not like something. He never stood up for me before others, on the contrary, he always took the side of others, even if they were completely wrong and offended me. When meeting with my parents, he always complained about me. And he always complained to me about my parents and insulted them in every possible way, although my mother always stood up for him and helped us financially very well. He can humiliate me in front of others in the company of friends and even strangers. From indignation "What are you dressed up in?" to “What the hell did you cook?” in company. And now it has come to the point that I am afraid to go with him to visit relatives, because he will definitely humiliate me in front of everyone. For the last time at the table, in front of everyone, he shouted “I’ll stick a fork in your leg now!”. There were my parents and his. His mother made a remark to him and he switched to her. I was very ashamed. In crowded places, he can send me loud obscenities in front of everyone. He does not perceive heart-to-heart conversations, he cannot and does not want to listen to me. Once I wrote him a letter with grievances, hoping to get through, but he said that he would not read anything.

    A separate topic of intimacy. At first everything was fine, but then he cooled off towards me. After the birth of my daughter, I had to beg for “meetings”. Intimacy happened once every two weeks. I felt very bad, I tried to explain it to him, but he shamed me all the time and said that I was crazy and lustful and that was all I needed. And he brought me to the point that I felt really ashamed, I went crazy both from the lack of intimacy and from the fact that I was crazy. After 9 years, I became pregnant by accident, intimacy, although rare on his part, was present. I did not want a child, I wanted to have an abortion, but he insisted on a child. After the birth of a son, Hell began. All the time nit-picking, the constant “you all sit on my neck” (although I worked all the time), moral humiliation and suppression. I endured everything and thought that everything would be fine. Even though I said you can leave if you don't like it. But he didn't leave. Now we have moved to another city, my parents and friends are not around. And now my main idea is not to lay hands on myself, because my son is very sensitive and emotional. On the part of her husband, the changes are even worse. We have been sleeping separately for a long time, and I no longer hope for any intimacy. Carping and humiliation - daily. Doesn't talk to us at all. Can only answer the question. He gives money as much as he sees fit. The last time it was 5 thousand. This despite the fact that I have to cook the first, second, always sweet. I eat little, the children too, but how can I feed him with this money? I can’t work now, for reasons beyond my control, but my parents regularly send me money. He took the card and is in full control of the money. Sometimes I don’t even know how much money has come, and when I ask him, he doesn’t tell me or he names the amounts much less.

    Can you tell me how I should behave in order to smooth out his such attitude towards me. Maybe there are some psychological tricks to somehow improve relations. I do everything around the house, I cook delicious food, I always tell him how good he is, even if he hammers a nail. I appreciate the little things. I am very scared, I have a terrible depression, I cry all the time. Help.

    Hello Marina. Your husband will never change, so if you love your children, you need to change internally. Arguing, being offended, crying with a tyrant husband is useless. It is necessary to become strong, your husband is not worth a single tear of yours.

    "Why he doesn't leave us, I don't know." - A tyrant husband never voluntarily leaves his victim.

    It is impossible to smooth the attitude of such a person, life will become more and more unbearable every year.

    We recommend that you look at your life, as if from the outside. Did you dream of such a life? Why do you continue to live with a person who simply does not respect you. It depends only on you how you will continue to live.

    Hello. Aggression of the second husband. He hates my children from his first marriage, constantly presses them, calls them names, never helps to do homework, or in general, or tea in the morning (only to himself and me). Although they were at the sea, I went swimming with them, while I was busy with our common child, I can be generous and give something. The last conflict - gave a slap on the back of the head, it is not clear why the elder. I say don't let go. He grabbed me and threw me against the wall, hit my head. I tell him to leave. He is not. She called the police, they took her away. I am a self-sufficient woman, with a normal job and a normal salary. He excluded the help of a psychologist, although I insisted (it was a couple of years ago, he attacked the middle one with a knife, covered himself). The husband is clearly mentally unstable. Cobra. Change of mood. Kisses, hugs and after a couple of minutes, yells at the child. Is it possible to save such a marriage without outside help? What requirements to put to the husband. It is very hard to realize that I fell in love with him so naively 4 years ago (he was such a charmer) and everything became so disgusting in such a period of time ..

    Hello Katya. Without outside help, the preservation of such a marriage is impossible. “What requirements to put on my husband” - Divorce. In this case, there is a chance, if the husband loves you and values ​​the relationship, that he realizes his mistakes and wants to change.

    Woman, you are healthy in general. He attacked the child with a knife. What the hell is love when it comes to the life and psyche of a child.

    Hello! The situation is this, married for 4 years, her husband hit drunk for the first time after 1 year. Forgive, said that he was jealous. It has never been touched in any way. There were only words - insults, everything concerned jealousy. Then there were only insults and they began to wear a public character. Now there was an incident, after drinking, he again began to insult and wring my hands. I filed for divorce, again asks for forgiveness, can we save the family? And they talked to him, and found the reasons, and when the scandal starts all over again, as if they had not spoken to him.

    Hello Anna. If the husband systematically engages in assault, insults, then only a specialist - a family psychologist or psychotherapist - can understand the reasons for the behavior of the spouse and help in this situation.

    Good evening! Married 3 years! We have a 2 year old! The first time my husband hit me a year ago, drunk in front of the child, but then I forgave me, this year my husband hit me twice, the second time he hit me in the face with about 10 slaps and all in front of the child, and he was sober, and now he left with a scandal, without leaving a penny, I filed for divorce, my husband became silk! And now I'm having doubts! I don't know if I should trust him again?

    Hello, Natalia. Considering that “the second time he hit me in the face with about 10 slaps and all in front of the child, and he was sober”, there is an assumption that the husband has psychopathological deviations. In this case, only a psychologist can answer the question: is it worth believing him again after the husband’s psychodiagnostics.

    Good night. I've been married for 25 years, when my husband raises his hand when he's drunk. I coded it several times. When he starts drinking, he can't stop. Today I beat him again, asked for vodka, beat me when he refused, I can’t do it anymore, what should I do? I live in the village, I have my own house, farm, it’s a pity to leave, and my husband is good when he doesn’t drink.

    Good night, you need to decide on your own whether such a life suits you or not. Based on this, then act.

    Good evening! I've been married for 3 years, my son is already 2! My husband hit me for the first time last year, called the police and all that, before that he constantly insulted me, I forgave! This year I was hit twice, after the second case, my face hurt for 1.5 weeks, all the scandals in front of the child! Now we live separately, there is no peace, she filed for divorce. The husband does not agree, asks for forgiveness. What do i do? And if there is a chance to get rid of it?

    Hello, Natalia. Together with the husband, it is necessary to visit a family psychologist who will help to understand the current situation and give an answer: is it possible for the husband to get rid of assault.

    Good afternoon. Married for a year, before the wedding, the husband never raised his hand and did not insult, after the wedding, only under the strong influence of alcohol does he raise his hand. I beat him a couple of times, I forgave. He is trying to change. But now I understand that most likely the problem is not only in alcohol, but also in his head. We love each other and without alcohol we have a great relationship. The last time he beat me and I immediately got ready and went to my mother. He calls, asks for forgiveness and says that he wants to save his family and will do everything so that this does not happen again. Tell me what is the best thing to do, on the one hand I want to give him a chance, because I know that if a spouse wants something in life, he achieves it. On the other hand, I don't want this to happen again. All my relatives are against it. Help, tell me how to act in such a situation.

    Hello Lena. Offer your husband coding for alcoholism. At the same time, check “if the spouse wants something in life, he achieves it” is this true.

    Good day. I lived with my husband for 9.5 years. Began to beat in the first year of life. She loved him, forgave everything. He beat everything at home, kicked doors, threw dishes. Then he asked for forgiveness and I forgave. After all, everything is good. And earns, and does not drink, and does not smoke. I have a son from my first marriage and a daughter together. After five years of life, I went to my parents. Persuaded, returned. A month later, everything started all over again. He tormented me with jealousy, reproaches, cooked it wrong, served it wrong, etc. and beaten again. She left two months ago, rented an apartment, took the children. We live from penny to penny, we survive, but so calmly, it’s not scary that there will be a scandal, insults and humiliation. He wants us to come back. He asks for it every day. I understand that I don’t want to return, but I’m afraid I won’t be able to cope financially alone with the children. I pay a mortgage for the apartment in which he lives and rent an apartment. That's what the entire salary is for. We eat what we have to. Should I give him a chance? Can these people change? Help with advice, although, in principle, I probably know the answer and I will not change the decision.

    Good day, Elena. You can give your spouse a chance, but if he agrees to accept the help of a family psychologist. He will not change on his own, do not succumb to his personal persuasion.

    In fact, by humiliating you, he shows his weakness and self-doubt. He is driven by the fear that you will find a replacement for him.

    “Because everything is good. And he earns, and does not drink, and does not smoke ”- That is why he needs you to raise his self-esteem at your expense, and you to lower it. You consider him good based on three criteria, but this is not enough for a happy marriage.

    The worst thing is that children can adopt the model of behavior of your family in the future. After all, you show the children with your personal example which model of behavior in a pair they should choose in the future.

    Thanks for the answer. The help of a psychologist will be accepted. He himself insists on this, asks to give him a chance, wants to save his family, but I'm not ready to accept it yet. The eldest son (he is 15), under pain of death, in the literal sense, said that he would not return, his daughter (8 years old), his daughter, also did not want to. Children live peacefully, without scandals. Of course, I have to decide for myself, no one will tell me how it will be, but I also decide for the children, and this is a huge responsibility. Ashamed before them, even for the thought of returning.

    Hello, my husband used to seem strong and handsome and interesting to me, but he drinks every day, and we swear, and every Saturday he drinks a lot and can easily hit me. I’m afraid to give up, because it’s not known how much he can beat me, he broke his nose a year ago, now, when I remember, he says that I fell and it’s not him. Lately, I've been afraid of not holding back, it's unbearable to listen to insults and beatings, and I can kill him. We live far from friends and parents, and there is a child, I don’t know how to live on, I’m tired of forgiving, I don’t even want him to ask for forgiveness.

    Hello Oksana. Think seriously about the issue of moving to parents with a child.

    Hello. My husband is trying to re-educate my daughter, she is not his own, but he raised her from the age of 3. My daughter already has her own child and lives with us. He controls her every step, says until what time you can walk. Until what time can friends call her ... recently, a daughter with her child came from the guests at exactly 11 pm, he took a rubber cord from the kettle and beat her daughter badly, arguing that she should not have been walking with her child for so long, who will kindergarten and who needs to be put to bed early, that he warned her about this. As a child, he also repeatedly beat her. We also have a joint daughter, I would have left him long ago, but for the sake of the child I had to save the family, we were financially dependent on him. Forbids her daughter to be friends with her friends. He wants to set up with his ex-husband, a drug addict who doesn’t really work anywhere, in huge loans, doesn’t pay alimony. While the husband is on watch, we live in peace, as soon as he arrives, he begins to terrorize his daughter. Because of this, of course, I can’t calmly communicate with him, we start conflicts. He periodically offers to sell us an apartment (we have equal shared ownership with him), but I feel sorry for the apartment, a lot of effort and money has been invested there. He can also hit me, insult me, humiliate me .. the only plus is that he works, does everything, for the house, for the family, he gives money, he earns many times more than me. The truth then periodically reproaches this. My daughter cannot yet find a job, she also cannot arrange her personal life, I feel very sorry for her and it is unbearable for her to live with us when this tyrant is at home. I have nothing but hatred for him. Please advise me how to do it right. Thanks in advance.

    Hello, Natalia. If you cannot change the situation due to certain circumstances, then you will have to obey the rules and requirements of your husband, both for you and your eldest daughter. If something does not suit the daughter, then she is already an adult and can independently build her life without parents. You will not remake your husband, so you will either have to accept him as he is or not accept and leave.

    And what if there are three children. Husband beats when drunk. Screaming. Cursing in front of children and on children. The husband does not understand anything, if you speak calmly. When I’m about to leave, a scandal begins with shouts of “I won’t give you my children, you don’t know how to raise them,” etc.

    Only go to my mother, but then this tyrant remains in my apartment and cannot be kicked out of there. How then to proceed in this case? What would he leave? I could let him see the kids! But don't live!

    Hello Svetlana. In moments of aggression of the husband, call law enforcement agencies without warning the husband about it.

    Hello! My husband and I have been living for three years, we have a small child, he is 2 years old. As soon as the marriage was registered, he took me to another city, to his mother. We lived with my mother. He worked and brought me a salary. He was raised only by his mother, and her mother is an orphan. He began to dissolve his hands in front of his mother due to the fact that I always go dissatisfied. He pulled his hair, strangled him, gave him slaps in the face. His mother didn't say anything. I lived in constant stress, I told him to move to another apartment, to live separately, but he always said that there was no money. Then one fine day after a quarrel, I took my son and left, found an apartment and lived separately. Then he moved in with me. I got a job and now we earn money together. Then they decided to go to Novosibirsk (he studied there), rented an apartment and began to live, he sat every night and played on the computer and did not go to study, he always had some business. Every day he disappeared, met friends and at the same time forgot us. One day I made a scandal and went out to get some air, and after I came home, he beat me badly in front of my son so that I could not even get up and go to the toilet on my own. I forgave him. He said that this would not happen, but he still slaps me and pulls my hair. I don't want my son to grow up without a father, but I'm afraid of him.

    But I'm afraid you don't have much choice - to run away from him. I hope you can understand what is best for you and the child and do so. Contact your relatives for help. After all, everything happens in life. Good luck! Save yourself and your son! Here is my address, write ... natashapokhilets (dog) yandex.ru

    The article is good, nothing more. From my personal experience: either answer a slap with two slaps, or break up.

    Hello, I don't know what to do. My husband and I live in a rented apartment, he works, he gives me his salary. On weekends, he cooks, repairs houses, a master of all trades. I talked to him about plans for the future, he agrees with me in everything. Three months ago we had a fight and I said it was over!! He went to his uncle to drink! Drunk came home and slapped me twice in the face!! Grabbed by the neck, pushed on the bed!! The next morning I got on my knees and asked for forgiveness. And just recently, a scandal erupted again, I started to get hysterical, I pulled out my suitcase and began to stuff my things, saying that everything was over between us forever !! He was silent, then again went to the uncle to drink! Three hours later, drunk on shaky legs, he came home and again began to slap me in the face, saying at the same time, “since you want to leave me, feel what I felt!!”. He threw his phone against the wall, broke the mug, then, holding me tightly to himself, fell asleep. In the morning, he excused himself by saying that he did not remember anything !! What to do? Turn to a psychologist, talk to him or is it still useless? I began to fear him more than love him ... Please write me an answer to my email, thank you in advance.

    Hello. There is open information on our site so that people can get the necessary information on the problem of interest using specific examples, so they did not answer your email.

    The answer to your question is that it is dangerous to continue living with such a person, so it is necessary to talk with your husband in a calm atmosphere about the fact that alcohol will bring him great trouble in the first place. Let him know directly that you are afraid for your life when he is drunk and tell him what he does in such a state. In your situation, a psychotherapist who knows the technique of hypnosis to get rid of alcoholism can help.

    Hello! Yesterday I had a big fight with a young man. First, he grabbed her by the hair and threw her on the floor, then pushed her onto the bed, then hit her head against the wall. Then he said that she hit herself. It pissed me off, grabbed him the same way and hit the wall not hard, showed him exactly how he hit. Of course, this is my mistake. But he took it and hit me with all his might, the blow hit me in the corner of the face ... then my tears and his ... We were with him for about a year. We are 23 years old. Before that, there were bouts of aggression, but not so serious, he would say something, be rude. He asked for forgiveness, I could not forgive. Left. Now he calls and swears that this will not happen again. He says he doesn't understand how it happened. Was it really such an outburst of anger that blew the roof off?? I can’t understand how this is possible ... A man has never raised his hand to me. It is very difficult, it hurts, there is a bruise on the face, the eye does not open completely. She said that I want to leave, that I can no longer be with him, but he does not accept everything. The man has changed very much, always nervous, rude, embittered, somewhere in his thoughts ... Now I'm afraid of him. Please tell me how to be in this situation.

    Hello Svetlana. Both of you are emotional, and in a relationship, someone must give in, move away from the conflict, and not develop ... Therefore, you should definitely part.

    Run and run again! From my own experience I say ... I didn’t listen to anyone - we have love! As a result, I suffer from one outburst of rage to another. Self-esteem has fallen, I'm afraid to leave. Humiliates, insults, you can’t interrogate money (a housewife - a child is often sick) neither for herself, nor for a child ... where 50 thousand go, xs. Only if his majesty takes pity, then he will give the child to classes, etc. (before that, I paid for everything and everyone when there were savings). And if he deigns and allocates the same amount as for himself (only I don’t spend on myself, but on my child and me + I service the car that my parents gave me - he doesn’t pay for gasoline, insurance, or other expenses on the car gives), so then he reproaches the coffin of life. Thank you at least buys hair shampoo ... Everything else is a luxury that I get with help from my parents. If you want to live like this, go ahead.

    How to live a man

    Someday each of us is visited by an oppressive, strange feeling and we ask ourselves the question “Am I living right?”. What are we doing wrong in this life? We are not surrounded by the things that we would like to have, not the work that we dreamed of, and our environment, to put it mildly, is wrong. Why is this happening? And who set the framework for the concept of correctness? Let's see why we are not satisfied with our life, and what does the right life of a man mean?

    Different people come to see psychologists. Some are sure that their life is not glued due to the lack of material wealth. But at the same time, millionaires come to the same psychologists, who, it would seem, have a house full of cups, have everything they could wish for. No matter how. There is no happiness in their life and that's it. These are the simplest examples of the fact that our life depends on us. Most people tend to blame everyone but themselves for their troubles. Happiness is so close that it is enough just to understand how to start living correctly.

    First of all, you need to understand your own daily routine. Most people complain that they get very tired during the day, although they did not actually do anything. Here the secret lies in the fact that a person gets tired much faster from laziness than from fruitful work. To understand the principles of how to live correctly, you need to start a diary, and be sure to make a plan for the next day before going to bed. Write it down into points and sub-points, and cross out during the day what you have already done. It is better to do unpleasant things in the morning. So you will relieve yourself of the state of stress, and you will be in an excellent mood all day long. Having learned to plan your own time, you will notice that you will have a large number of free minutes that you can devote to your fashionably favorite business, trip or vacation.

    We present to your attention only some tips on how to live properly for a man:

    Having understood how to live correctly for a man according to the time schedule, you can discover a few more simple life truths for yourself:

    • You should only do what you like, if you are not satisfied with the work, then do not be afraid to do what you love, it will definitely bring you income.
    • Don't plan for the future. They are unrealizable. Set specific goals for yourself, come up with them and fulfill them.
    • If you want to be successful, then hang out with the successful. We choose our own environment. Replace the lives of dissatisfied people with those who bring only positive, and your life will also change.

    And finally, the most important thing is to appreciate every moment of your own life. Happiness is always with you. Stop chasing it and it will come to you. And only at this moment you will understand that you did everything right.

    • Male strength is woven from aspirations, he cannot just live like that, he needs to strive somewhere.
    • He should sleep on hard, get up early and pour cold water over him.
    • A man must definitely deprive himself of something and not let him relax.
    • You need to find a senior who would make you work on yourself.
    • To have a man something, he needs to achieve it, this is the male nature.
    • A man must achieve a certain position in society, not in order to show himself, but in order to become himself.
    • A man should learn how to live correctly and explain this to a woman. This is his responsibility.
    • A man should become such that his wife accepts him into her life as a real person. And this by itself will never happen to a woman. It is believed in modern society that a real man is one who can twist any aunt. And in the Vedas it is considered that if a womanizer is a man, then he is a coward. He will never crawl under a tank, he will never keep his word, he will never work on himself. If he is subject to the strong influence of a woman, then he has lost himself.
    • First of all, to be a man means to overcome the excessive attraction of a woman in yourself. Otherwise, he will not be able to fight bad habits, to protect himself mentally from the difficulties of life. Man's strength is to overcome recklessness, selfishness, anger, arrogance, inability to control one's character, habits and behavior. If a womanizer is a man, then women can enjoy him, but they will never respect him. The first thing a man must learn to do is to distance himself mentally from a woman.

    How does a man lose himself when he marries? He either relaxes excessively, becomes a monster, or becomes a doormat. A man must learn to serve his wife, not use her.

    A man in society must seek happiness, and family happiness will wait for him by itself. If he becomes strong as a person, then family happiness is guaranteed to him.

    It is very difficult for a man to endure the emotions of a woman. It is necessary to endure them, learn to forgive, behave as if nothing is happening. And then he can get married.

    If the wife cries and is offended by herself, it is necessary to feel sorry for her. If she behaves emotionally and throws tantrums, you need to step back and not pay attention to her. The more he reacts to her injections, the more she will inject him.

    Only by example can one raise a son. Boys do not understand words, they only understand actions. A mother should not punish her son.

    In raising a boy, the most important thing is to make him a strong-willed person. Then he will achieve everything in life.

    He must also receive a spiritual education, learn to pray and work on himself.

    The river of a man's life dries up when he stops making efforts to develop himself as a person. He loses the ability to relax over time.

    It is important to arrange your life according to the laws of scriptures. For example, men think, why get married? The Vedas say that if you have already learned, then you need to get married. When a man becomes strong, women begin to watch him. They don't look at the squishy, ​​only the advanced ones.

    But if a man starts walking, he degrades, loses himself. Many assume that this is happiness. But at this time he loses his determination, will, dissolves his own feelings, becomes fashionable, his voice becomes thin. There is no sense in such a person, he himself is not happy, and he cannot make anyone happy.

    They say you first need to work up before you get married ... but for what?

    A man must develop like a man. And that means working on yourself. Training, sports, to develop oneself as a person, daily routine, hardening, victory over oneself, achievements, it is necessary to learn strength of character, determination, courage, develop memory. It is very important for a man to develop self-control. Said - done!

    What hinders self-control the most? What most unsettles a man? What destroys his psyche? Excessive attachment to a woman.

    When a man is very much focused on a woman, he can no longer think how to live correctly for him, he already thinks how to possess a woman, sexual dreams arise, and he lives by them. And he must live victoriously at work, he must fight in order to defeat himself in life, to become courageous, enduring, strong, and then naturally the woman next to him will be happy, and he will automatically receive his happiness from the woman.

    But, if a man does not strive to be a man, then he will not receive happiness in his personal life either. From excessive concentration on a woman, the energy of a man goes down and leads to sexual disorders. Why is urethritis the main disease of men now? Because a lot of sexual energy goes down. People don't control it. It is necessary to raise it up in order to develop as a person, and then sexual relations will be good, children will be strong, and the wife will love. The idea is that if a man is very much focused on sex, then there will be no normal sex with his wife. Because it destroys sexual energy, its sexual centers. And if he is focused on activity, on the main thing for himself, then his sexual centers remain healthy. He must win uncontrolled thoughts about a woman. The less he thinks about a woman, the more a woman will think about him.

    Nowadays, most men behave like "rags". And bad habits, for example, alcoholism confirm this. A realized man enjoys working on himself, while an unrealized man wants to relax.

    Now in films everywhere it is exaggerated that the real man is the one who has many women. According to the Vedas, this type of men belongs to degenerates.

    Source:
    How to live a man
    Someday each of us is visited by an oppressive, strange feeling and we ask ourselves the question “Am I living right?”. What are we doing wrong in this life? Surrounding us are not the things that we would like
    http://vremya-sovetov.ru/psixologiya/kak-pravilno-zhit-muzhchine.html

    How to live with a man

    And the man walks and walks.) in the old days he beat a bit, his wife calmed down.))

    But damn, it's the same. no longer a man.)

    and when I leave, he starts calling, I like damn it, but it’s also annoying, I go home to rest, living with him is like hard labor, but he doesn’t agree to part.

    Gel for narrowing the muscles of the vagina

    I understand that passives like men like you, but since you confessed to homosexuality, write the slogan correctly.

    His text messages are constant, use-pusi.

    Questions: what's for lunch, what's for dinner. Do you love me Do you want me. Did she finish? How she finished. It was good. Where is where it is. How are your friends doing. Who do you meet.

    Suggestions: Let's have kids. Take a walk with your dog. Buy that.

    Whining: the car broke down. You are silent again. Who did you go to dinner with (yes, with a friend). Your girlfriends walk a lot (none of them walk). Why don't you want to watch a movie with me (stupid action movie, I don't like watching TV at all).

    I realized that I don’t love him, I don’t want to be a mother, a mistress, a cook.

    Fuck, I'm tired, I want to be alone. All.

    Attempts to quarrel with friends.

    His text messages are ONCE A YEAR, usi-pusi.

    Questions: what's for lunch, what's for dinner.

    Suggestions: buy it.

    Whining: the car broke down. SO BUY IT

    I realized that I love him, BUT I don’t want to be a mother, a mistress, a cook.

    Bleat, tired, I want to be HIS WIFE. LEGAL. BUT NOT FATED. All.

    I don't like him, that's the reason. And the marriage is 8 years old. Thank God the kids didn't make it.

    And you, geisha, I advise you to change your nickname. And then your dreams will remain unfulfilled.

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