Why do I miss the man. Why is a person bored? Scientific analysis of green melancholy. Is it possible to get used to boredom and love it

(29662) - Vostrukha, 12/19/2007

Eid al-Adha is the climax of the rite of pilgrimage, which was established in memory of the sacrifice of the prophet Ibrahim (in the biblical tradition of Abraham). He wanted to sacrifice his son Ismail, but at the last moment he was stopped by the Almighty. Instead of a boy, a white lamb was sacrificed.

Everyone usually strives to atone for their sins: civil servants do not work on holidays, traffic jams dissipate in the city during the day, everyone is indifferent to tourists, shops are closed in front of them, shopping centers are empty, and service personnel are dismissed in hotels.

Eid al-Adha is the main holiday in Muslim countries, in importance it is comparable to Christmas among Christians. It is not for nothing that these two religious holidays were obsolete by the Soviet authorities.

It is not surprising that Eid al-Adha is not observed in our country according to the rules and the entire ceremony is kept to a minimum. Many of our compatriots limit themselves to going to the mosque on holidays, giving alms and a gala dinner with their families. Instead of a sacrificial lamb on the table, there is beshbarmak, made from ordinary meat bought at the bazaar.

But in this holiday there is a special sacrament and a lot of subtleties. The Feast of Sacrifice begins immediately upon completion of the festive morning prayer on the first day and ends shortly before sunset on the third day. It is forbidden to bleed before the holiday prayer, the animal will not be counted as a sacrificial one. Therefore, in cities and villages where there are no mosques and prayer is not performed, the time of sacrifice begins at dawn.

As a sacrifice, you can bring not only a ram, but also a camel, buffalo, bull, cow, sheep or goat. The tradition of eating horse meat is purely Kazakh. In many Muslim countries, horse meat is not only not sacrificed, but also forbidden to be eaten. This smart animal is associated with a symbol of wisdom and fidelity, a brave horse is an assistant to a horseman in war.

As a rule, in Muslim countries, sacrificial animals are grown on special farms and brought to the bazaars for Eid al-Adha. For example, in Istanbul alone, several million sheep are sacrificed on holidays. In cities where it is not possible to keep animals for a long time, residents bleed to a sacrificial animal right in the bazaar in a specially designated place.

According to the rules, the sacrifice must be done by yourself, only a woman can ask men to drain the blood of a sacrificial animal on her behalf.

Men are preparing for this responsible mission in advance. A person who is going to make a sacrifice on the days of the holiday should not cut his nails and hair ten days before the ritual.

Today, the rules are a little simplified, and it is permissible to entrust a special person called “kurbanji” to bleed the sacrificial animal, provided that the owner of the purchased animal is nearby during the ritual.

The sacrificial animal must be outwardly beautiful and healthy. This requirement has a religious explanation. According to the teachings of Islam, all the animals that a person managed to sacrifice on the Day of Judgment will be waiting for the believer at the entrance to the Sirat Bridge, which stands over the abyss of hell. And only thanks to the help of the chosen animals, the Muslim will not fall into the hellish abyss.

Muslim custom also allows for sacrifices not only for the living, but also for the dead.

Religion also gives an exact answer to the question of how many animals need to be sacrificed during Eid al-Adha. It turns out that it is enough for one family to sacrifice one ram

The meat of a sacrificial animal is not recommended to be stored for a long time; it is eaten on the days of the holiday. Usually a third of the sacrificial animal is eaten in the house, a third is distributed to neighbors and a third to the poor. In this case, the owner keeps the right hind leg and the chest part of the animal. As a rule, raw meat is distributed, but in some countries there is a custom to distribute it cooked.

Another interesting detail is also important: it is forbidden to sell the skin of a sacrificial animal. I think this is the most difficult test for leather craftsmen - how many sheepskin coats can be sewn from skins collected even in one small village!

If a person does not have time to buy a ram and make a sacrifice within the time allotted for the ritual, he can distribute the value of the animal to the poor and the needy.

The emission of the blood of the sacrificial animal is the opening of the ceremony. After your lamb is already fragrant on a spit or served in the form of beshbarmak, it's time to start the party!

People meet guests, visit relatives and friends, exchange expensive gifts. Caring gentlemen give their beloved jewelry, and children are pampered with everything they wish.

In a word, Eid al-Adha is a bright holiday lasting three whole days, which brings relatives closer and reconciles enemies. A holiday of generosity and wisdom. And most importantly, this holiday makes it possible to adhere to the traditions of our ancestors and not forget about our past.

Festive recipe for Eid al-Adha

To prepare this holiday dish for 6 servings, you will need:
1 kg lamb
1 bulb
130 g pitted prunes
350 ml hot tea
2 tbsp. l. hot water
5-6 art. l. chopped fresh parsley
1/2 tsp ground ginger
1/2 tsp curry powder and a pinch of nutmeg
2 tsp ground cinnamon
1/4 tsp saffron
5-6 art. l. honey
250 ml lamb or beef stock
115g toasted blanched almonds
2 tbsp. l. fresh coriander
3 hard-boiled eggs
Salt and black ground pepper to taste.

1. Put the prunes in a bowl and pour over the tea. Leave the prunes to swell.
2. Put lamb, chopped onion, parsley, ginger, curry powder, nutmeg, cinnamon, salt and a pinch of black pepper into a baking dish and put in an oven preheated to 180 degrees. Cover and cook for about 2 hours until the meat is tender.
3. Drain the liquid from the prunes into the meat.
4. Mix saffron with hot water and pour into a mold along with broth and honey.
5. Roast, uncovered, for 30 minutes, turning lamb occasionally.
6. Add prunes to the mold and mix well.
7. Serve to the table, sprinkle the meat with roasted almonds and chopped coriander and garnish with boiled egg slices.

Sweet Eid Recipe

10 round rice flour wafers
1.5 liters of milk
400 gr. sugar
200 gr. walnuts or peeled almonds (coarsely crushed)
1 tbsp rose water (optional)
50 gr. large pine nuts or peanuts (crushed)

Boil milk, remove from heat, add sugar, stir until sugar dissolves.
Pour the milk into a large bowl, soak each waffle in it until soft and put on a dish. Then, put 2-3 tbsp on each. nuts, wrap in the form of an envelope. And so each waffle. Arrange them on a dish. Pour the rest of the milk over the cooked waffles. Let the milk soak in. Top with rose water, if desired. Then sprinkle with crushed pine nuts or peanuts.

Beshbarmak (Kazakh meat)

1 kg lamb (including brisket)
1 kg horsemeat or beef
2 bay leaves
1 bulb
salt, black pepper to taste
For test:
3 cups flour
2 eggs
0.5 cup beef broth
1 tsp salt
For gravy:
fat removed from broth
2 onions
1 bunch of green onions, parsley and dill

Lower the prepared meat into a cauldron or pan with cold water so that the meat is completely covered. Bring to a boil, carefully remove the foam and simmer for about 3 hours.
All this time, fat must be removed from the broth. Half an hour before the end of cooking, add salt, pepper, onion and bay leaf. After the meat is ready, cut it from the bones into thin, wide slices. Knead a stiff dough from flour, eggs and broth, roll it into a 1 mm thick layer, cut into 10 by 10 cm squares and boil in meat broth.
In a separate pan, put onion, greens and pepper with salt, cut into rings, pour over the fat removed along with the broth and simmer over low heat for 10 minutes.
Put the finished dough on a warmed dish, put the meat on top of it and pour it all over with onion gravy with herbs. The rest of the sorpa - broth - serve in separate bowls with the addition of finely chopped greens.

This year, the celebration of Kurban Aita falls on September 1, according to ancient traditions, 70 days after the end of the holy month of Ramadan. The celebration of Aita is a great opportunity to meet relatives, forget and forgive old grievances, and reunite families.

Muslims begin to prepare for this event in advance, reducing the number of entertainment events several weeks in advance, not cutting their hair or putting on new clothes.

Kurban Ait will begin on the first autumn morning with a traditional ablution, a sermon in the mosque and a sacrifice of a pet. Among all countries, only the Kazakhs have a tradition of sacrificing a horse - the animal must be beautiful, strong and healthy, because according to legend, it will help a person to cross the narrow Sirat bridge after death.

Of course, not a single holiday can do without a luxurious dastarkhan, which is famous for the hospitable eastern people. The owner of the house considers it an honor to treat each guest with the meat of a sacrificial animal.

What, besides beshbarmak, may be present on the festive table - the site will tell.

Eggplant appetizer in Arabic

Surprise your guests with an unusual eggplant appetizer. Babaganoush is a dish of Arabic and Middle Eastern cuisine.

You will need:

• 2-3 eggplants;
• paprika - 1 piece;
• juice of half a lemon;
• sesame seeds - 1 tablespoon;
• 2-3 cloves of garlic (as you like);
• yogurt - 1-2 tablespoons;
• parsley, cilantro or other herbs to taste;
• zira, coriander - half a teaspoon;
• olive oil, salt, pepper to taste.

Cooking: eggplant and paprika should be grilled in the oven for 20 minutes, turning frequently. Then you need to remove the eggplant and finely chop the pulp, and put the pepper in a saucepan covered with a lid to “sweat”. After that, it will be easy to remove the skin from it.

Finely chop the pepper and mix with eggplant pulp. Add yogurt, chopped garlic, lemon juice and herbs. Grind the sesame seeds separately and add to the eggplant. Season the finished appetizer with olive oil, zira, coriander. Salt and pepper to taste, let it brew in the refrigerator. Serve on the table with tortillas or croutons.

Appetizer of pumpkin and quince

A very light dish that will decorate your table with bright autumn colors and will appeal to all guests.

You will need:

• boiled pumpkin - 300 grams;
• quince - 4 pieces;
• olive oil - 2 tablespoons;
• lemon juice - 1 tablespoon;
• salt, allspice - to taste.

Cooking: Cut the pumpkin and quince into pieces and put in a salad bowl, salt and pepper. The appetizer is seasoned with olive oil and lemon juice. Ready.

Lamb chops with eggplant and cheese

Another recipe using eggplant, tomatoes and cheese will be a great option for how to cook and serve lamb beautifully.

You will need:

• lamb (pulp) - 800 grams;
• eggplant - 1 large;
• bulbs - 2 heads;
• tomatoes - 2 pieces of medium size;
• olive oil - 5 tablespoons;
• hard cheese - 100 grams;
• zira, salt, pepper - to taste.

Cooking: prepare meat for chops: clean from films, cut across the fibers, beat off. Marinate: season the beaten meat with cumin, salt, pepper and olive oil. Leave for 60 minutes at room temperature.

Cut the eggplant into rings and add salt. He also needs to “sweat” for 20 minutes. At this time, you can cut the onion into rings and grate the cheese on a coarse grater. Remove the skin from the tomatoes and also cut into rings.

Fry the marinated meat without oil for three minutes on each side, and then put it in a baking dish, covered with foil.

In the pan where the meat was fried, cook the onion. To do this, add olive oil and fry it until soft. We distribute the onion to the meat.

As soon as a golden crust is noticed on the eggplants, remove from the pan, remove the salt from the surface and put on top of the onion. The last layer will be tomatoes, sprinkle them with cheese, a little salt and pepper. The dish is baked in the oven for 7-10 minutes at a temperature of 200 degrees. Served with fresh vegetables and herbs.

Tomato soup with rice, lamb and vegetables

The first dish is an indispensable attribute of the festive table. Spicy soup with lamb, tomato, lettuce, adjika and sour cream is ideal to start a delicious meal.

You will need:

• lamb meat broth - 1 liter;
• boiled lamb - 200 grams;
• tomato juice - 1 glass;

• rice - 50 grams;
• a few lettuce leaves;
• bell pepper - 2 pieces;
• sour cream - 2 tablespoons
• adjika - 1 tablespoon;
• salt, red pepper to taste.

Cooking: cook rice in boiling lamb broth for 10 minutes, then add tomato juice and adjika. After another 7 minutes, mix the already chopped meat and bell pepper with the broth. Salt, pepper. After 5 minutes, add coarsely chopped lettuce leaves to the soup and bring it to a boil. The dish is served with sour cream, rye bread or tortillas.

For sweets - zhent

Traditional Kazakh dessert: it is tasty, healthy and satisfying. Plus, it's easy to prepare.

You will need:

• ready-made talkan (sold on the market);
• butter;
• sugar;
• raisin.

Cooking: all we need is to melt the butter, add sugar to it and stir until a homogeneous mass is obtained. We send raisins there. Add takan to the finished mixture and let the dessert harden in the refrigerator. (this will take about two hours). We cut the sweetness into portions and treat the guests.

Peaches stuffed with nuts

An excellent dessert of seasonal fruits for a festive dastarkhan.

You will need:

• peaches - 300-400 grams;
• peeled walnuts - 200-300 grams;
• sour cream - 4–5 tablespoons
• honey - to taste;
• sugar - 3-5 teaspoons.

Cooking: Divide the peaches in half, remove the pits. To prepare the filling, beat sour cream with sugar, add walnuts and honey. Fill the peach halves. Can be served with a scoop of ice cream.

Kurban ait merekeleriңіz kutty bolsyn!. Prosperity, peace, understanding, prosperity and well-being to you and your families.

Friends and family are separated for various reasons. This may be a friend moving to another city, because of which friendships can simply come to their logical conclusion. It's more scary when a loved one passes away. Of course, it is very difficult to be away from the person you love. Although it is very difficult to stop missing a person, there are still things you can do to ease the pain of loss. Start by analyzing your feelings. Take care of your emotional needs. Distract yourself by doing something useful and constructive. If possible, find ways to communicate with the person you love.

Steps

Get over the feelings

Allow yourself to grieve that your loved one is no longer around. The first thing to do is accept your feelings and emotions and allow yourself to grieve. Don't keep everything to yourself. Let your feelings go. Each person experiences grief in their own way. Do it the way you see fit.

• Give yourself enough time (say, a few days) to review letters and photos, listen to sad music, or cry while hugging your favorite plush toy.
• After the feelings and emotions subside, make a promise to yourself to do everything possible to return to your normal daily life.

1. Trust a loved one. Talking about your feelings with a loved one will provide you with the support you need. Talk to a close friend or relative. Tell a loved one about what is happening in your life.

   • You can say, “I'm so sad that Alexey left. I need to talk to someone about this."
   • If you have an idea about how your loved one can help you deal with your feelings, tell them about it. For example, you could say, "Let's watch a romantic comedy in memory of Olga together tomorrow night!"

2. Write down your feelings. Pour out your feelings in writing. If you keep a diary, write down what emotions and feelings you experience. If you don't keep a diary, use a regular piece of paper or write in your phone's notebook.

   • You can also write about your feelings, addressing your message to the person you miss. You can send a written letter to the person you miss so much, or you can keep it for yourself to reread when you feel very sad.

3. Remember good times. When a loved one passes away, all attention is focused on the negative aspects associated with the day of departure or the day of death of a person. Instead of focusing on the negative, think about the happy memories you've had in your life.

   See a psychologist if you need professional support. Chances are you are going through a difficult time right now. Perhaps you feel sadness and regret due to the fact that a loved one is not around. If you find it difficult to come to terms with the absence of a person or the inability to take part in his life, as you did before, consider meeting with a psychologist.

   get distracted

   1. Organize your daily life. Although you may be tempted to look into the room and ignore your responsibilities, remember that sticking to a routine will help you overcome emotional upheaval. A daily routine will help you get things done, no matter how you feel. Plus, you'll stay active and busy. This will make you feel like you are living your normal life again.

      Communicate. You cannot replace a person, but others can help you deal with your feelings and move forward. Make an effort to develop new relationships and strengthen existing ones. Build relationships with positive people who can support you.

      • Join a new club or become part of an organization where you can connect with new people.
      • Strengthen relationships with your friends. Encourage them to spend more time together. Take a walk or establish new traditions for you, such as having dinner together on Sundays or hosting a movie night.

   2. Study or learn something new. Spend time expanding your knowledge. If you are a student, devote time to studying a particular subject. If not, pick a subject you've always been interested in and pick up material related to it. Read books or watch videos. You can also enroll in an online course to learn a new skill.

      • If you are in school, take the time to study math or English. You can also try learning a foreign language, learning the art of French cooking, or taking guitar lessons.

   3. Choose a hobby. What do you enjoy doing? What activity lifts your spirits? Once you've identified your favorite activity, set aside more time in your schedule for it. Hobbies are a great way to improve your skills and use your time in a more constructive way. Plus, doing what you love will make you feel better (at least for a while).

      • If you like to spend time outdoors, take a new route and organize a hiking trip. You can also try photography, knitting, painting, baking, gardening or collecting, and playing games.

   4. Go in for sports. Physical exercise provides a good opportunity to escape from sadness and negative emotions. In addition, exercise increases the level of endorphins (“hormones of happiness”), so exercise improves mood.

      • Go for a run, bike or swim. In addition, you can try your hand at one of the fitness programs, such as Zumba or Pilates.
      • Devote at least 30 minutes of exercise most of the week.

   5. Refrain from using substances that can cause serious harm to your health. During a difficult period in life, it can be tempting to be distracted by alcohol or drugs. However, such actions are destructive and dangerous. Do not use alcohol or drugs to distract yourself from sadness and negative emotions.

      • Instead, enlist the support of your loved ones and do things that can distract you from negative thoughts.

   Keep in touch

   1. Communicate with your loved one regularly. If it is possible to keep in touch with a person, do it using modern technologies. You can send text messages, make phone calls, or chat with him via video call.

Writer Paul Hudson breaks stereotypes to the nines and puts everything on the shelves about "missing" someone!

Are people capable of being bored at all? Or do we simply lack memories of certain people? Perhaps we miss the feelings we experienced while being close to a particular person? Let's try to deal with this issue together.

You may think that missing someone and missing the memory of someone are the same thing, but in reality, this is far from the case. To be honest, we are almost incapable of loving someone for who they really are. Yes, and miss this particular person, perhaps, too.

In fact, we love and appreciate people not as they are, but as we are able to imagine them - which, in turn, depends on how well we know them. And although such an explanation cannot reassure us, it nevertheless gives food for thought to our mind: “why are our emotions, and especially the feeling of love, sometimes so changeable”?

People necessarily have their own conclusions after interacting with other people. It's in our nature and it's unlikely we'll ever be able to change it. And by drawing conclusions about another person, we thereby create in our mind a set of ideas about this person. And as our relationship with him develops, we gradually adjust these ideas at the right time for us.

However, sometimes it happens that in specific life circumstances, our ideas about this person have little to do with reality - and this often leads to the fact that, having achieved the attention of the object of our love, we soon cool down to him.

We stop loving the person whom we thought we knew inside and out, precisely because we are faced with reality, and not with our fantasy, and this is far from the same thing. People pass information about other people through the prism of their perception - that is why memories of a particular person can give us a distorted picture of him. And by “reviving” these memories, we introduce additional deformation into them. Humans are very, very complex individuals.

Sometimes our memories of a person capture him as he really is - or at least as he once was. But at heart we are all incorrigible romantics.

We prefer to remember the feelings that we experience in the presence of this or that person, instead of remembering the events themselves.

We focus our attention on strong (and usually pleasant) emotions, allowing them to cloud our memory of that person.

But it also happens that we do not deceive ourselves at all. Sometimes we really have every reason to miss someone. Unfortunately, the opposite is just as likely. It is very possible that what you are missing is not a specific person, but the ideal image of this person in your mind. This person could practically wipe their feet on you, but after a couple of years, you will remember only good things. This is the protective function of our memory.

You miss a close person, and this is quite understandable. People don't like being alone. Yes, some of us do it better than others, but only out of necessity, not out of our own free will. There are no people who choose loneliness voluntarily - unless, of course, they are mentally normal.

Yes, we all like to be alone from time to time - but only from time to time. Sooner or later, we become too sad and lonely, and we begin to look for at least someone with whom we could share our life. It's natural and you shouldn't be ashamed of it. But what should be ashamed is the longing for the people who treated us in a completely inappropriate way. Yes, on special occasions (like birthdays) they could be incredibly nice to us, but these special occasions were actually not so many. Because otherwise they wouldn't have to be called "special cases", right?!

So, if you're yearning for someone who constantly hurt you because they didn't care about you, take a deep breath, take a step back, and try to look at things realistically, without leaving any resentment or fantasy in your soul, but just concrete facts. You simply cannot afford to humbly endure all the antics of people who use you and treat you worse than you deserve. You just can't, that's all.

You miss this person only when you are alone. But there is actually a very easy way to see the difference between true love and everything else that we mistake for it. And, if it seems to people that they are missing someone from the past, then most likely they are sad or lonely and nothing more, so let's not complicate our lives and look for new reasons for joy!?!

In those moments when we want to lean on someone, but there is no one around, we inevitably look into our past. But this is not love. This is a convulsive grasping at straws in an attempt to stay on the roof. When we have a black streak in our life, we do not want to be alone - because if someone is next to us, it will be much easier to endure adversity. We are all human, and therefore we tend to strive to simplify our lives. But this is not true love. It's the loneliness that gets on our nerves. It is it that twists our imagination to the maximum, feeding our memories with false feelings, for the most part consisting of a fairly edited reality.

If you only miss someone when the days are dark in your life, don't be fooled. In fact, you don't need this person at all. But on the other hand, if thoughts about him do not leave you even in the happiest moments - well, congratulations, this person is really worth missing. If at this moment, looking at yourself from the side, you, first of all, think “Oh, if only I could share this moment with this person” ... well, then there can be no doubt - you really love him. After all, you don’t even miss the person himself. You miss yourself - the way you were in the company of this person.

When we look back and remember those we once loved, the things we shared together, and the memories we shared… we are actually remembering ourselves. The way we were when we were together.

People are extremely egocentric. Such is our nature. And since we can’t do anything about it, it’s worth accepting it - at least for the purpose of better understanding ourselves. We do not remember the person we once loved because it is simply impossible. After all, we never deal directly with the people around us. We interact with our ideas about these people. And these ideas are extremely changeable. We are quite capable, climbing into the bowels of our own memory, to change how we perceive the people around us, as well as the feelings we have for them.

But be that as it may, the fact remains: those things and people that we consider the most important are precisely those things and people that have had the greatest impact on us and our lives. But this is exactly what most people forget: We do not remember the people themselves, but how they influenced us. Yes, we remember their actions that caused certain emotions, but in fact, we are almost always interested in the result (those same emotions), and not what caused it.

So it turns out that we do not even miss the person himself, but for the reality in which we were due to his presence. We miss how we felt and who we were when we were with these people. And not just like that - after all, those “we” that we miss were much better than we are now, because now we are lonely, but this was not the case before.

Of course, this may just be an act of nostalgia, but be that as it may, this is exactly the reality in which we live - whether we like it or not. People are indeed capable of loving the same person "until death do them part." We are able to yearn for him, and we are quite capable of understanding what we lost when we parted. Yes, but not all the people we yearn for are really like that.

Much more often we waste our time, energy and emotions on people who do not deserve our attention. Learn to distinguish between real longing for a person without whom life is not sweet for you, from nostalgia for the old days - and your life will certainly change for the better.