Nicholas II secretly married the ballerina Kshesinskaya. Matilda Kshesinskaya cohabited with five Romanov Grand Dukes Matilda historical truth or fiction

The people who lived in Russia at the end of the 19th - beginning of the 20th centuries did not think much about what their image would be in the eyes of distant descendants. Therefore, they lived simply - they loved, betrayed, committed meanness and selfless deeds, not knowing that a hundred years later one of them would put a halo on their heads, and others would be posthumously denied the right to love.

Matilda Kshesinskaya got an amazing fate - fame, universal recognition, love of the powerful, emigration, life under German occupation, need. And decades after her death, people who consider themselves highly spiritual personalities will wag her name on every corner, cursing the fact that she even once lived in the world.

"Kshesinskaya 2nd"

She was born in Ligov, near St. Petersburg, on August 31, 1872. Ballet was her destiny from birth - father, Pole Felix Kshesinsky, was a dancer and teacher, an unsurpassed performer of the mazurka.

Mother, Julia Dominskaya, was a unique woman: in her first marriage she gave birth to five children, and after the death of her husband she married Felix Kshesinsky and gave birth to three more. Matilda was the youngest in this ballet family, and, following the example of her parents and older brothers and sisters, she decided to connect her life with the stage.

At the beginning of her career, the name "Kshesinskaya 2nd" will be assigned to her. The first was her sister Julia, a brilliant artist of the Imperial Theaters. Brother Joseph, also a famous dancer, will remain in Soviet Russia after the revolution, receive the title of Honored Artist of the Republic, will stage performances and teach.

Felix Kshesinsky and Yulia Dominskaya. Photo: commons.wikimedia.org

Joseph Kshesinsky repressions will bypass, but his fate, nevertheless, will be tragic - he will become one of the hundreds of thousands of victims of the blockade of Leningrad.

Little Matilda dreamed of fame, and worked hard in the classroom. The teachers of the Imperial Theater School said among themselves that the girl has a great future, if, of course, she finds a wealthy patron.

fateful dinner

The life of Russian ballet in the times of the Russian Empire was similar to the life of show business in post-Soviet Russia - one talent was not enough. Careers were made through the bed, and it was not very hidden. Faithful married actresses were doomed to be the backdrop for brilliant talented courtesans.

In 1890, the 18-year-old graduate of the Imperial Theater School Matilda Kshesinskaya was given a high honor - the emperor himself was present at the graduation performance Alexander III with family.

Ballerina Matilda Kshesinskaya. 1896 Photo: RIA Novosti

“This exam decided my fate,” Kshesinskaya writes in her memoirs.

After the performance, the monarch and his retinue appeared in the rehearsal room, where Alexander III showered Matilda with compliments. And then the young ballerina at a gala dinner, the emperor indicated a place next to the heir to the throne - Nicholas.

Alexander III, unlike other representatives of the imperial family, including his father, who lived in two families, is considered a faithful husband. The emperor preferred another entertainment for Russian men to go "to the left" - the consumption of "little white" in the company of friends.

However, Alexander did not see anything shameful in the fact that a young man learns the basics of love before marriage. For this, he pushed his phlegmatic 22-year-old son into the arms of an 18-year-old beauty of Polish blood.

“I don’t remember what we talked about, but I immediately fell in love with the heir. As now I see his blue eyes with such a kind expression. I stopped looking at him only as an heir, I forgot about it, everything was like a dream. When I said goodbye to the heir, who spent the whole dinner next to me, we looked at each other differently than when we met, a feeling of attraction had already crept into his soul, as well as into mine, ”Kshesinskaya wrote about that evening.

Passion of "Hussar Volkov"

Their romance was not stormy. Matilda dreamed of a meeting, but the heir, busy with state affairs, did not have time to meet.

In January 1892, a certain "hussar Volkov" arrived at Matilda's house. The surprised girl approached the door, and Nikolai walked towards her. That night was the first time they spent together.

The visits of the "hussar Volkov" became regular, and all of St. Petersburg knew about them. It got to the point that one night a St. Petersburg mayor broke into a couple in love, who received a strict order to deliver the heir to his father on an urgent matter.

This relationship had no future. Nikolai knew the rules of the game well: before his betrothal in 1894 with the princess Alice of Hesse, the future Alexandra Fedorovna, he broke up with Matilda.

In her memoirs, Kshesinskaya writes that she was inconsolable. Believe it or not, everyone's personal business. An affair with the heir to the throne gave her such patronage that her rivals on the stage could not have.

We must pay tribute, receiving the best parties, she proved that she deserves them. Having become a prima ballerina, she continued to improve, taking private lessons from the famous Italian choreographer Enrico Cecchetti.

32 fouettes in a row, which today are considered the trademark of Russian ballet, Matilda Kshesinskaya began to perform the first of the Russian dancers, adopting this trick from the Italians.

Soloist of the Imperial Mariinsky Theater Matilda Kshesinskaya in the ballet The Pharaoh's Daughter, 1900. Photo: RIA Novosti

Grand ducal love triangle

Her heart was not free for long. The new chosen one was again the representative of the Romanov dynasty, the Grand Duke Sergei Mikhailovich, grandson Nicholas I and cousin uncle of Nicholas II. The unmarried Sergei Mikhailovich, who was known as a closed person, experienced incredible affection for Matilda. He took care of her for many years, thanks to which her career in the theater was completely cloudless.

Sergei Mikhailovich's feelings were severely tested. In 1901, the Grand Duke began to look after Kshensinskaya Vladimir Alexandrovich, uncle of Nicholas II. But this was only an episode before the appearance of a real rival. The rival was his son - the Grand Duke Andrew Vladimirovich, cousin of Nicholas II. He was ten years younger than his relative and seven years younger than Matilda.

“It was no longer an empty flirtation ... From the day of my first meeting with Grand Duke Andrei Vladimirovich, we began to meet more and more often, and our feelings for each other soon turned into a strong mutual attraction,” writes Kshesinskaya.

The men of the Romanov family flew to Matilda like butterflies to a fire. Why? Now none of them can explain. And the ballerina skillfully manipulated them - having struck up a relationship with Andrei, she never parted with Sergei.

Having gone on a trip in the fall of 1901, Matilda felt unwell in Paris, and when she went to the doctor, she found out that she was in a “position”. But whose child it was, she did not know. Moreover, both lovers were ready to recognize the child as their own.

The son was born on June 18, 1902. Matilda wanted to call him Nicholas, but did not dare - such a step would be a violation of the rules that they had once established with the now Emperor Nicholas II. As a result, the boy was named Vladimir, in honor of the father of Grand Duke Andrei Vladimirovich.

The son of Matilda Kshesinskaya will have an interesting biography - before the revolution he will be “Sergeevich”, because he is recognized by the “senior lover”, and in exile he will become “Andreevich”, because the “younger lover” marries his mother and recognizes him as his son.

Matilda Kshesinskaya, Grand Duke Andrei Vladimirovich and their son Vladimir. Around 1906 Photo: Commons.wikimedia.org

Mistress of the Russian ballet

In the theater, Matilda was frankly afraid. After leaving the troupe in 1904, she continued one-off performances, receiving breathtaking fees. All the parties that she herself liked were assigned to her and only to her. To go against Kshesinskaya at the beginning of the 20th century in Russian ballet meant ending her career and ruining her life.

Director of the Imperial Theatres, Prince Sergei Mikhailovich Volkonsky, once dared to insist that Kshesinskaya go on stage in a costume that she did not like. The ballerina did not obey and was fined. A couple of days later, Volkonsky resigned, as Emperor Nicholas II himself explained to him that he was wrong.

New Director of the Imperial Theaters Vladimir Telyakovsky I did not argue with Matilda from the word "completely."

“It would seem that a ballerina, serving in the directorate, should belong to the repertoire, but then it turned out that the repertoire belongs to M. Kshesinskaya, and as out of fifty performances forty belong to balletomanes, so in the repertoire - of all the ballets, more than half of the best belong to the ballerina Kshesinskaya, - Telyakovsky wrote in his memoirs. - She considered them her property and could give or not let others dance them. There were cases that a ballerina was discharged from abroad. In her contract, ballets were stipulated for the tour. So it was with the ballerina Grimaldi invited in 1900. But when she decided to rehearse one ballet, indicated in the contract (this ballet was “Vain Precaution”), Kshesinskaya said: “I won’t give it, this is my ballet.” Began - phones, conversations, telegrams. The poor director was rushing back and forth. Finally, he sends an encrypted telegram to the minister in Denmark, where he was at that time with the sovereign. The case was secret, of special national importance. And what? He receives the following answer: "Since this ballet is Kshesinskaya, then leave it behind her."

Matilda Kshesinskaya with her son Vladimir, 1916. Photo: Commons.wikimedia.org

Shot off nose

In 1906, Kshesinskaya became the owner of a luxurious mansion in St. Petersburg, where everything, from beginning to end, was done according to her own ideas. The mansion had a wine cellar for men visiting the ballerina, horse-drawn carriages and cars were waiting for the hostess in the yard. There was even a cowshed, as the ballerina adored fresh milk.

Where did all this splendor come from? Contemporaries said that even Matilda's space fees would not be enough for all this luxury. It was alleged that the Grand Duke Sergei Mikhailovich, a member of the Council of State Defense, “pinched off” a little from the country’s military budget for his beloved.

Kshesinskaya had everything she dreamed of, and, like many women in her position, she got bored.

The result of boredom was the romance of a 44-year-old ballerina with a new stage partner Peter Vladimirov, who was 21 years younger than Matilda.

Grand Duke Andrei Vladimirovich, ready to share his mistress with an equal, was furious. During Kshesinskaya's tour in Paris, the prince challenged the dancer to a duel. The unfortunate Vladimirov was shot in the nose by an offended representative of the Romanov family. The doctors had to pick it up piece by piece.

But, surprisingly, the Grand Duke forgave the windy beloved this time.

Fairy tale end

The story ended in 1917. With the fall of the empire, the former life of Kshesinskaya collapsed. She was still trying to sue the Bolsheviks for the mansion, from the balcony of which Lenin spoke. Understanding how serious it all came later.

Together with her son, Kshesinskaya wandered around the south of Russia, where power changed, as if in a kaleidoscope. Grand Duke Andrei Vladimirovich fell into the hands of the Bolsheviks in Pyatigorsk, but they, having not decided what he was to blame for, let him go on all four sides. Son Vladimir was ill with a Spaniard who mowed down millions of people in Europe. Having miraculously avoided typhus, in February 1920, Matilda Kshesinskaya left Russia forever on the steamer Semiramida.

By this time, two of her lovers from the Romanov family were no longer alive. Nikolai's life was interrupted in the Ipatiev house, Sergei was shot dead in Alapaevsk. When his body was lifted from the mine where it had been thrown, a small gold medallion with a portrait of Matilda Kshesinskaya and the inscription "Malya" was found in the hand of the Grand Duke.

Junker in the former mansion of the ballerina Matilda Kshesinskaya after the Central Committee and the Petrograd Committee of the RSDLP (b) moved from it. June 6, 1917 Photo: RIA Novosti

The Most Serene Princess at a reception at Muller

In 1921, in Cannes, 49-year-old Matilda Kshesinskaya became a legal wife for the first time in her life. Grand Duke Andrei Vladimirovich, despite the sidelong glances of his relatives, formalized the marriage and adopted a child whom he always considered his own.

In 1929, Kshesinskaya opened her own ballet school in Paris. This step was rather forced - the former comfortable life was left behind, it was necessary to earn a living. Grand Duke Kirill Vladimirovich, who declared himself in 1924 the head of the Romanov dynasty in exile, in 1926 he assigned Kshesinskaya and her offspring the title and surname of the princes Krasinskikh, and in 1935 the title began to sound like "the most serene princes Romanovsky-Krasinsky."

During World War II, when the Germans occupied France, Matilda's son was arrested by the Gestapo. According to legend, in order to secure her release, the ballerina obtained a personal audience with the head of the Gestapo. Muller. Kshesinskaya herself never confirmed this. Vladimir spent 144 days in a concentration camp, unlike many other emigrants, he refused to cooperate with the Germans, and nevertheless was released.

There were many centenarians in the Kshesinsky family. Matilda's grandfather lived for 106 years, sister Yulia died at the age of 103, and Kshesinskaya 2nd itself passed away just a few months before the 100th anniversary.

The building of the Museum of the October Revolution - also known as the mansion of Matilda Kshesinskaya. 1972 Architect A. Gauguin, R. Meltzer. Photo: RIA Novosti / B. Manushin

"I cried with happiness"

In the 1950s, she wrote a memoir about her life, which was first published in French in 1960.

“In 1958, the ballet troupe of the Bolshoi Theater came to Paris. Although I don't go anywhere else, dividing my time between home and the dance studio where I earn money to live, I made an exception and went to the Opera to see the Russians. I cried with happiness. It was the same ballet that I saw more than forty years ago, the owner of the same spirit and the same traditions ... ”, Matilda wrote. Probably, ballet remained her main love for life.

The burial place of Matilda Feliksovna Kshesinskaya was the cemetery of Sainte-Genevieve-des-Bois. She is buried with her husband, whom she survived for 15 years, and her son, who passed away three years after his mother.

The inscription on the monument reads: "The Most Serene Princess Maria Feliksovna Romanovskaya-Krasinskaya, Honored Artist of the Imperial Theaters Kshesinskaya."

No one can take away the life lived from Matilda Kshesinskaya, just as no one can remake the history of the last decades of the Russian Empire to their liking, turning living people into incorporeal beings. And those who are trying to do this do not know even a tenth of the colors of life that little Matilda knew.

The grave of the ballerina Matilda Kshesinskaya and Grand Duke Andrei Vladimirovich Romanov at the Sainte-Genevieve-des-Bois cemetery in the city of Sainte-Genevieve-des-Bois, Paris region. Photo: RIA Novosti / Valery Melnikov

Deputy Natalya Poklonskaya threatened to drag film director Alexei Uchitel through the courts for his film about the ballerina Matilda Kshesinskaya. So many years have passed, and the witnesses of the self-styled “Mukhransky-Hohenzollern sect”, who imagine themselves to be “Russian monarchists”, are still haunted by any mention of the scandalous dancer - is it because the name of Kshesinskaya inevitably entails the memory of a trail of dubious connections and adventures of the august Romanov family?

It is difficult to say whether Malya Kshesinskaya was a good or bad ballerina: her contemporaries did not agree on this. She definitely knew how to spin 32 fouettes in a row - moreover, she learned to be the first of the Russian dancers. However, she was much better able to shock the audience. For example, her colleague and contemporary, the brilliant Vaslav Nijinsky, was excommunicated from the big stage for dancing in a revealing suit - slip-on pantaloons. And Malechka could easily dance even without pantaloons at all - photographs, if anything, have been preserved. Going on stage is a little stoked - yes, easily! No wonder her friends assured that in the veins of the dancing Kshesinskaya "champagne is bubbling." Lose a fortune at roulette? This happened repeatedly, and the last time, already in exile, Matilda managed to blow her French estate in the Monte Carlo casino. Kshesinskaya, according to the memoirs of contemporaries, always played big and bet on the same number that she considered “lucky” - 17. In general, Kshesinskaya became famous not so much for her dancing - who now remembers the ballets in which she allegedly shone, all those "Daughter of the Mikado", "Harlequinade" or "Katarina, the Robber's Daughter"? But the impressive list of high-ranking lovers is remembered to this day. We’ll talk about the latter - so that it’s clear why the “monarchist” Poklonskaya is so indignant and why the director Uchitel is forced to seek protection from the first person of the Russian state.

Technically strong, morally brash

History is silent about whether Emperor Alexander III became the first august lover of 16-year-old Malechka - such gossip went around, but that's all. But it is known for sure that Kshesinskaya's theatrical career began precisely with the filing of the father of the last Russian emperor, who noticed young Malya at the final exam at the theater school and addressed her with the prophetic phrase: “Mademoiselle, you will be the beauty and pride of our ballet!”. We will not indiscriminately include the emperor in the amorous list of the scandalous artist - we will list only those lovers that historians know for sure.

The first to fall at the feet of the ballerina was Grand Duke Georgy Alexandrovich, the heir to the throne, who never became emperor. Here is what Valentin Pikul wrote about his passion for Kshesinskaya: “Grand Duke George, it seems, was ahead of his brother, but the ballerina did not reject the Tsarevich either. Malechka - strongly knocked down, with "bubbly" muscles of abnormally short legs, short and fine, with an aspen waist. The courtiers hated this "technically strong, morally impudent, cynical and impudent ballerina, who lives simultaneously with two grand dukes."

No, she's not an angel! And she didn’t live like a ballerina: she desperately reveled, ate and drank whatever she wanted, played cards all night long, fiery trotters took her to night chantans. Debauchery did not ruin her talent, and sleepless nights did not spoil her appearance.

Tsarevich Nikolai, whom Kshesinskaya "also did not reject", was fiercely jealous of her brother. And, according to rumors, in a fit of jealousy, he somehow pushed George into the ship's hold. The heir soon fell ill and died under strange circumstances. “On his deathbed, he cursed,” wrote Valentin Pikul. “My brother arranged this for me, for Malechka!” Now the killer reigns, the whore dances, and here I am dying.

Emperor Alexander from the adventures of his sons was, of course, not happy. “It’s not that scary that Nicky and Georges got mixed up with this dancer,” he complained to his entourage, general and chief of the Okhrana Pyotr Cherevin. - Two round fools could not even find two b ..., but live in turn with the same one. After all, Petya, we are our own people, and we understand that this is already debauchery.

"Relay baton" of the Grand Dukes of the Romanovs

The end of the intrigue of Tsarevich Nicholas with Kshesinskaya was put by his engagement to the future Empress Alexandra Feodorovna. “Nikolai asked his cousin (uncle. - Ed.), Grand Duke Sergei Mikhailovich, to look after Maleya (ill-wishers said that he simply handed her over to his brother), and he immediately agreed,” wrote historian Alexei Chuparron. Sergei Mikhailovich was a noteworthy balletomaniac, raved about Kshesinskaya and, apparently, became the father of a ballerina's child. In the summer of 1902, an illegitimate son, Vladimir, was born to Kshesinskaya, who received the patronymic Sergeevich and hereditary nobility - by the highest decree of his imperial majesty. As for Sergeyevich, however, there were doubts. Kshesinskaya, as Chuparron wrote in his study, “everything was allowed: to have a platonic love for Emperor Nicholas, live with his cousin, Grand Duke Sergei Mikhailovich, and, according to rumors (most likely they were true), be in a love affair with another great prince - Vladimir Alexandrovich, who was fit for her father. The latter was the younger brother of Emperor Alexander III. Outwardly, he was very similar to the father of Nicholas II and, as historians assure, "made him tremble with horror." When Kshesinskaya had a child, "60-year-old Vladimir Alexandrovich felt happy," wrote Alexei Chuparron. “The child was like the Grand Duke as two drops of water. Only the wife of Vladimir Alexandrovich was very worried: her son Andrei, a pure boy, completely lost his head because of this whore, ”which the Romanovs called the baton behind their backs.

Bathing in the non-platonic love of the imperial family, Kshesinskaya allowed herself to be luxurious. She went on tour in her own carriage, and her jewelry was estimated at 2 million rubles. So that you understand: the small car "Ford" in those days cost 2500 rubles, and for the luxurious "Russo-Balt" with a custom-made body, they asked for 7500 rubles. That is, Kshesinskaya was fabulously rich, and would have been even richer if she had not squandered fabulous amounts on roulette and cards.

The ballerina's husband was the brother of her child

The fifth and last Grand Duke in the amorous list of the scandalous ballerina was the very “pure boy” Andrei Vladimirovich - the son of Vladimir Alexandrovich, who was suitable for Male as a father. They became close long before the revolution, but healed together after it. During the February Revolution, the headquarters of the Bolsheviks was located in the St. Petersburg mansion of Kshesinskaya, and the sailors asked for a dancer from there, not allowing her to take away any silverware, or even her wardrobe. Later, revolutionary Alexandra Kollontai was repeatedly seen in Kshesinskaya's dresses, and prominent Leningrad managers Sergei Kirov and Andrei Zhdanov used her cutlery.

Andrei Vladimirovich gave his son Kshesinskaya his patronymic, after which they, together with the ballerina, emigrated to Constantinople, and from there to Nice. A year later, they were legally married, and Kshesinskaya converted to Orthodoxy. A noblewoman, as she dreamed of from a young age, she became only in 1926, 54 years old. The ballerina lived a long life and left, not having lived up to a century, just a little.

No matter how the story of Kshesinskaya is presented today, it is impossible to ignore her august hobbies, you see. But what kind of moral image of the “holy family” of the Romanovs can we talk about if representatives of the imperial family cohabited with the scandalous dancer almost simultaneously and in pairs? Siblings, son and father - some kind of obscene vaudeville comes out, no matter how you turn it. However, vaudeville is not to the taste of the newly-minted monarchists - give them tragedies.

1. Alexander III and Maria Feodorovna were not the initiators of the "novel" of Tsarevich Nikolai Alexandrovich and M. Kshesinskaya.

2. Alexander III and Maria Feodorovna were not opposed to their son's wedding to Princess Alice of Hesse. On the contrary, having learned about the engagement, they were happy for their son.

3. The youthful infatuation of Tsarevich Nikolai Alexandrovich with the ballerina M. Kshesinskaya did not bear the character of “love passion” on his part and did not turn into a sexual relationship.

4. From early youth, the Tsarevich dreamed of marrying Princess Alice, and he never intended to give any serious character to his relationship with Kshesinskaya. The statements of the authors of the script that Nikolai Aleksandrovich “loved” Kshesinskaya so much that he did not want to marry Princess Alice, and was even ready to exchange the crown for marriage with a ballerina, are pure fiction, a lie.

5. The collapse of the Imperial train occurred in the autumn of 1888, two years before the acquaintance of Alexander III and Tsarevich Nikolai Alexandrovich with M. Kshesinskaya. Therefore, they could not talk about her in any way. Kshesinskaya herself was 16 years old in 1888.

6. M. Kshesinskaya has never been to the highest receptions.

7. Princess Alice of Hesse arrived in the Crimea on October 10, 1894, that is, ten days before the death of Emperor Alexander III. Therefore, it is not at all clear why, according to the script, she is dressed in a mourning dress and expresses her condolences to the Heir. In addition, the Heir met Alix in Alushta, where she was taken by horse-drawn carriage, and not by train, as the script states.

8. M. Kshesinskaya was not present at the coronation of Emperor Nicholas II, and he could not see her there.

9. The order of the coronation and wedding of the Russian emperors was signed to the details and had a centuries-old tradition. Outright fiction and lies are the provisions of the script, where Alexandra Feodorovna argues with Maria Feodorovna whether she should wear a Monomakh's hat or a large imperial crown. And also the fact that Maria Feodorovna herself tried on the crown for her daughter-in-law.

10. According to the established procedure, not the Emperor and Empress personally took part in the rehearsal of the coronation, but courtiers.

11. The eldest son of Emperor Alexander II, Tsesarevich Nikolai Alexandrovich, died in 1865 in Nice, not from tuberculosis, as "Maria Fedorovna" claims, but from meningitis.

12. The first filming in Russia, carried out by the French company "Pate", was not dedicated to the arrival in Simferopol "by train" of Princess Alice, as stated in the script, but to the coronation of Emperor Nicholas II.

13. Emperor Nicholas II did not faint at the coronation, his crown did not roll on the floor.

14. Emperor Nicholas II never, especially alone, did not go backstage in theaters.

15. There has never been a person with the name "Ivan Karlovich" on the list of directors of the Imperial Theater.

16. Among the doctors who treated the Empress Empress Alexandra Feodorovna, there was never a “Doctor Fischel”.

17. The costume of ballerinas is not worn on a naked body, so the episode with a torn off strap of the bodice could not take place in reality.

18. No one, except for a close family environment, could say “you” to the Tsar or the Heir, moreover, K.P. Pobedonostsev could not do this.

19. Not a single Russian officer in his right mind could ever throw himself on the Heir to the Throne with the aim of beating or killing him, because of the "kiss of a ballerina."

20. Emperor Nicholas II never tried to abdicate, much less attempted to "escape" with Kshesinskaya from Russia.

21. Coronation gifts were distributed to the people not by throwing them from some towers, but in buffets specially designated for this. The crush began a few hours before the distribution of gifts, at night.

22. Emperor Nicholas II never came to the Khodynka field and did not examine the "mountain of corpses", which did not exist. Since the total number of deaths during the stampede (1300 people) includes those who died in hospitals. By the time the Emperor and Empress arrived at the Khodynka field, the corpses of the dead had already been taken away. So there was nothing to "survey".

23. Slander: Alexander III organizes prodigal dates for his son, forcing his brother Grand Duke Vladimir to photograph ballerinas for this.

24. Slander: Alexander III calls on his son Tsarevich Nicholas to live a prodigal life "while I am alive."

25. Slander: Before his death, Alexander III blesses M. Kshesinskaya for prodigal cohabitation with his son Tsarevich Nicholas.

26. Slander: Alexander III assures that all Russian emperors have lived with ballerinas for the last hundred years.

27. Slander: Alexander III calls ballerinas "pedigreed Russian mares."

28. Slander: Nicholas II draws mustaches and beards in photographs of ballerinas.

29. Slander: Nicholas II does not hide his relationship with Kshesinskaya and has sexual contact with her in the Great Peterhof Palace, thereby falling into fornication.

30. Slander: Nicholas II and Alexandra Feodorovna participate in spiritualistic occult seances of "Doctor Fishel", which is a grave sin according to the teachings of the Orthodox Church.

Matilda Kshesinskaya is considered almost the love of the life of the last Russian emperor, Nicholas II. The ballerina and the heir to the throne met in 1890, and their romantic relationship lasted four years. But what was, and what was not between them in reality?

Only the lazy did not hear about the scandalous picture of Alexei Uchitel "Matilda" at the end of 2017. According to many critics, the film about the love affair between the ballerina Kshesinskaya and the future Tsar Nicholas II came out too "erotic" and far from the truth. Supporters of the conservative version of this story insist that the relationship between the Tsarevich and the ballerina was purely platonic. But could, in fact, Nicholas resist the female charms of Matilda?

Today, it is necessary to restore the details of these relations literally bit by bit. And it's not the lack of archival materials - everything is in order with them. But many of them contradict each other. In a mysterious way, Matilda Kshesinskaya herself described the same events in different ways in her diaries, which she kept during an affair with the Tsarevich, and in memoirs written many years later.

The disagreement begins with the story of the very first meeting between Matilda and Nicholas. The young ballerina entrusted the diary with a story about how she asked permission from Alexander III to invite the Tsarevich to her table. Whereas the memoirs written by her decades later tell a completely different version, flattering for Matilda, about how Tsar Alexander noticed the young beauty and invited her to join their table.

Knowing how helpful memory can be, distorting, embellishing or crowding out significant information, we tend to trust more the revelations that the young ballerina Kshesinskaya left on the pages of her diary. It is noteworthy that during the same period, Nicholas also recorded the events of his life in a diary. And if the girl’s records concerning the Tsarevich are always emotional and detailed, then his about her are stingy with both words and emotions. It is all the more interesting to compare the revelations of Matilda and Nicholas and try to shed light on this "dark" history of royal addiction.

Acquaintance of the ballerina and the heir to the throne

Curiously, Nikolai Aleksandrovich himself left only a couple of lines dated March 23, 1890 in his diary. No mention of Kshesinskaya herself or the details of the dinner. However, this is probably more of a feminine trait - to notice the details. Men, on the other hand, focus on facts. “Let's go to a performance at the Theater School. There were small plays and ballet - very good. We dined with the pupils, ”the crown prince described that day in such a simple and concise manner.

Mutual sympathy and embarrassed smiles

On July 4 of the same year, the young ballerina, who had just been accepted into the troupe of the Mariinsky Theater, performed for the first time in Krasnoye Selo. The Tsarevich was also there, which made her very happy. The fear she felt before entering an unfamiliar stage disappeared, and at every opportunity she looked at Nikolai. “So, the first performance was successful for me: I was successful and saw the Heir. But this is only enough for the first time, then, I know well that this will not be enough for me, I will want more, such is my character. I'm afraid of myself, ”Kshesinskaya admitted in her diary.

The first mention of the ballerina in the records of the Tsarevich appeared two days after that - on July 6, 1890: “After dinner we went to the theater. Positively, Kshesinskaya 2nd interests me very much ”(Nikolai writes“ Kshesinskaya 2nd ”, since the older sister of Matilda, Yulia, who was called“ Kshesinskaya 1st ”), was also in the ballet troupe. According to Matilda's diaries, that day she tried very hard to impress the son of the emperor - and, apparently, she succeeded. She even noticed how many times she caught the eye of the Tsarevich when she danced. “As soon as the curtain fell, I became terribly sad. I went to the bathroom to the window to see him again. I saw him, he didn’t see me, because I got up to that window, which is not visible from below, unless you look back when you drive away from the royal entrance. I was hurt, I was ready to cry. I said correctly that each time I will want more.

That month, several more performances and short meetings between Nikolai and Matilda took place. Judging by the notes left by the young ballerina, she tried to catch the eye of the Tsarevich more often when he came to the theater. She really wanted to talk to him, but there was no suitable opportunity. And yet, the nascent sympathy between the young people gradually grew. During the intermissions of performances, when the heir to the throne came backstage, they exchanged embarrassed smiles, but did not dare to start a conversation for some time. Nikolai mentioned Kshesinskaya several times in July in his diaries: for example, “I positively like Kshesinskaya 2nd very much” or “were at the theater ... I talked with little Kshesinskaya through the window.”

First separation and thoughts about another girl

In the summer of 1890, these relations did not develop: circumstances developed in such a way that soon, on the orders of his father, the Tsarevich left for a long journey to the Far East, and then went with his parents to Denmark. Nicholas returned home only in 1892. For a long time of separation, Nikolai did not write about the young ballerina in his diaries, but he remembered another girl he liked - the granddaughter of the English Queen Alice of Hesse. They met back in 1974, and since then the image of a foreign princess has been vividly imprinted in the heart of the Tsarevich. During his trip, he left the following note: “My dream is to someday marry Alix G. I have loved her for a long time, but even deeper and stronger since 1889, when she spent 6 weeks in St. Petersburg in the winter.” An obstacle to the realization of this desire of the son of the emperor was that the bride of the Russian heir to the throne had to convert to the Christian faith, and this was opposed by the relatives of Alice Hessen. However, Nikolai was very infatuated with her. “I am almost convinced that our feelings are mutual,” he wrote in his diary.

Matilda remained in Russia, danced in the troupe of the Mariinsky Theater and made great strides on stage. Occasionally, in her diaries during that period, there are mentions of the crown prince. So, for example, she writes that one of the colleagues of the emperor’s son, Yevgeny Volkov, told her that Nikolai Alexandrovich was “terribly glad that I paid attention to him, especially since I am an artist, and, moreover, pretty.” But regular entries about the Tsarevich returned to the pages of her diaries only when he again arrived in Russia. Their meetings resumed, which this time began to take place more and more often, and the heir himself began to act as their initiator.

Unexpected visit and flashed feelings

Nikolai Alexandrovich had only managed to arrive in St. Petersburg, when his thoughts again rushed to the young ballerina. On February 15, 1892, he writes that he was "taken over by the theatrical fever that occurs every Shrove Tuesday." The Tsarevich visited the Mariinsky Theater, where he had a few words with Matilda. Then their meeting took place already in the city. On February 28, the heir to the throne, riding around St. Petersburg in a carriage, saw Kshesinskaya on the embankment. For him, this was an unexpected joy, however, as is known from the records of the ballerina, she began to visit the center regularly, knowing that this increased her chances of meeting the one she was in love with.

On March 10, the Tsarevich went to the Theater School: “I sat at dinner with the pupils as before, only little Kshesinskaya is very much missing.” And the very next day an event happened that marked the beginning of a new stage in the relationship between Nicholas and Matilda. Kshesinskaya was unwell: in the afternoon she underwent eye surgery. In frustrated feelings, she was resting at home when the maid reported that Yevgeny Volkov was asking her. However, instead of an old acquaintance, Nikolai Alexandrovich himself appeared on the threshold of her house, who decided to arrange a surprise. He wrote in his diary: “I spent the evening miraculously: I went to a new place for me, to the Kshesinsky sisters. They were terribly surprised to see me with them. I sat with them for more than 2 hours, chatting about everything incessantly. Unfortunately, my poor little little one had a pain in her eye, which had been bandaged, and besides, her leg was not quite well. But the joy was mutual great! After drinking tea, he said goodbye to them and arrived home at one in the morning. I spent the last day of my stay in St. Petersburg nicely, three of us with such persons.

Matilda was overwhelmed with happiness, despite the fact that she was embarrassed (as she recalled), because she "was not quite dressed, that is, without a corset and then with a bandaged eye." But the joy of meeting her lover was much stronger: "today, when I got to know him better, I was fascinated by him even more." That evening, Nikolai began to call her "Maley", and they agreed to write letters to each other. Matilda mentioned in her diary that after tea drinking, the heir "certainly wanted to go into the bedroom," but she did not let him in.

After that evening, Nikolai began to pay visits to the Kshesinskys on a regular basis. Moreover, in his diaries there appeared previously unusual entries about each, even the most insignificant, meeting with a charming ballerina: “I went to the Maly Theater to Uncle Alexei's box. They gave an interesting play "Thermidor" ... The Kshesinskys were sitting right opposite in the theater "; “I saw the Kshesinskys again. They were in the arena and then stood still on Karavannaya”; “After dinner I went to visit the Kshesinskys, where I spent a pleasant hour and a half.” Even in his free hours, he could not get rid of thoughts about the object of his love. On March 13, he wrote: "After tea, I read again and thought a lot about a famous person."

Romantic correspondence and first kiss

Nicholas and Matilda constantly exchanged tender letters. The Tsarevich wrote to the young ballerina almost every day, and if he did not receive an answer in the near future, he would be very upset. On March 23, exactly two years after the first meeting of Nikolai and Matilda at the graduation performance of the Theater School, the heir sent a letter to Kshesinskaya saying that he would visit her at eleven in the evening. She was overjoyed, but the wait seemed unbearable.

In her diary, Matilda describes that evening in detail: “The Tsarevich arrived at 12 o’clock, without taking off his coat, entered my room, where we greeted and ... kissed for the first time.” Then Nikolai gave her some of his photographs and a bracelet. “We talked a lot. Even today I did not let the Tsarevich into the bedroom, and he made me laugh terribly when he said that if I am afraid to go there with him, then he will go alone. The night flew by unnoticed. The emperor's son left the ballerina only in the morning.

Matilda completes the description of that night with the following lines: “At first, when he came, it was very embarrassing for me to speak to him in You. I kept getting confused: You, you, you, you, and so on all the time! He has such wonderful eyes that I'm just going crazy! The Tsarevich left when it was already dawn. At parting, we kissed several times. When he left, my heart sank painfully! Ah, my happiness is so shaky! I must always think that this may be the last time I see him!”

Increasing jealousy and longing for a lover

Of course, even then Matilda understood that the continuation of this relationship had rather vague prospects. But she was so much in love with Nicholas that she practically did not think about it, living from meeting to meeting with the Tsarevich. They saw each other not only at the Kshesinsky's, but also in public places, but behaved with restraint in front of a large audience. Nikolai sent flowers to the ballerina and, at every opportunity, sought to see his beloved. But, curiously, he did not forget about Alice Hessen, which undoubtedly hurt Matilda's feelings.

On April 1, 1892, he wrote in his diary: “A very strange phenomenon that I notice in myself: I never thought that two identical feelings, two loves were simultaneously compatible in my soul. Now the fourth year has already begun that I love Alix G. and constantly cherish the idea, if God permits, someday to marry her! .. And from the camp of 1890 to this time I passionately fell in love (platonically) little K. An amazing thing our heart! At the same time, I do not stop thinking about Alix G. Can you really conclude after this that I am very amorous? To a certain extent, yes. But I must add that inside I am a strict judge and extremely picky!

Once Nikolai took his diaries with him when he came to the Kshesinskys, and Matilda had the opportunity to read them. She was pleased with the numerous entries of the Tsarevich, which were dedicated to her, and was unpleasantly struck by the mention of a foreign princess: “One day in the diary interested me very much, this is April 1, where he writes about Alice G. and about me. He really likes Alice, he told me about this before, and I seriously start to be jealous of her.

At the same time, the son of the emperor did not deceive the ballerina: he frankly told her that before his own wedding he could stay with her, but did not promise anything after. In a letter dated August 3, Matilda wrote to him these words: “I keep thinking about your wedding. You said yourself that before the wedding, you're mine, and then... Nicky, do you think it was easy for me to hear that? If you knew, Nicky, how jealous I am of you for A., ​​because you love her? But she will never love you, Nicki, as your little Panny loves you! I kiss you warmly and passionately. All yours".

In fact, the closer the communication between the Tsarevich and the ballerina became, the more reasons for jealousy she found. She was upset when it seemed to her that Nikolai in the arena looked for a long time through binoculars at another young lady, when the crown prince was talking with other ballet dancers. Matilda wanted to be his only lover with whom he could openly appear in public, but she knew that their relationship should remain secret. Therefore, she kept all her mental anguish in a diary, and sometimes wrote about her jealousy to Nikolai. From time to time, she herself seemed to try to hurt the crown prince's pride and make him jealous. She, like a ballerina, and a beautiful woman at that, had other admirers, whom she spoke about in letters to the Tsarevich. For example: “I keep forgetting to write to you: I have a new admirer of Peak G (Golitsyn - ed.). I like him, he is a pretty boy”, or “You are interested to know from whom I received flowers in the first performance. I will tell you on Monday. Yesterday the basket was from R. He takes great care of me and assures me that he is seriously in love with me.

And yet, judging by the diaries of young people, while Matilda was constantly thinking about the heir to the throne, even when he was leaving on long trips, Nicholas wrote about her only when they saw each other in person and in the first days after his departure. “I always remember the last evening I spent with you, when you, dear Nicky, were lying on my sofa. I admired You all the time, ”the ballerina wrote to the Tsarevich on May 2, after he left for a military camp in Denmark. When Nikolai returned to Petersburg two months later, the conversation between them was rather cool. And ahead again there was a separation for several months - this time the crown prince left for the Caucasus. She waited, dreamed of a meeting and suffered from a flaring flame of jealousy. Upon learning of the rumors that the heir to the throne was carried away by some Georgian woman, she could not contain her despair. On November 15, an entry appeared in her diary: “I went to church, prayed fervently, and as if I felt better, but upon returning home, everything, every thing, reminded me of my dear Nicky, and I cried again.” Correspondence between the ballerina and the Tsarevich was not interrupted (according to what Matilda wrote in her diary), but the name of the pretty ballerina did not appear in Nikolai's personal notes until the beginning of 1893.

Last determined attempt

A new round of relations began in January 1893. Matilda, having missed the heir for months of separation, was extremely happy when they saw each other again. In her diaries, these meetings are described in great detail and colorfully. They feel that she enjoys every minute spent near him, gets upset if he is late in the service, coming to her later than agreed. But, most importantly, she begins to think about the future, desperately wants to develop relations with Nikolai and herself brings him to frank conversations. The description of a happy meeting after the Tsarevich's return to St. Petersburg on January 3 ends in her diary with the following words: “They talked a lot, but not a word about the main thing, and I was tormented that Nicky did not start a conversation about this. Maybe you didn't want to right away?

Five days later, a serious conversation takes place between them in private, which the ballerina starts. From Matilda's notes, it is quite clear what she was trying to achieve from the heir: “This conversation lasted more than an hour. I was ready to burst into tears, Nicky struck me. In front of me sat not one in love with me, but some kind of indecisive, not understanding the bliss of love. In the summer, he himself repeatedly reminded in letters and in conversation about a closer acquaintance, and now he suddenly said quite the opposite, that it could not be my first, that it would torment him all his life, that if I were not already innocent, then he would got along with me without hesitation."

Matilda was in despair, but did not lose hope. She did not give up and continued to act decisively. In the same month, Nikolai leaves for Berlin for a short time, and when he returns, regular meetings with the ballerina resume. The Tsarevich scrupulously records their every meeting in his personal diary. Supporters of the theory that the line of platonic relations between the emperor’s son and Matilda was overcome, cite Nikolai’s entry dated January 23, 1893 as an example: “In the evening I flew to my M.K. and spent the best evening with her so far. Being under the impression of her - the pen is shaking in his hands! The Tsarevich rarely allowed himself such emotional liberties in his diaries. How did the evening go alone with his beloved Maleya, if after him Nikolai “the pen is shaking in his hands”? After that, the name of the ballerina is mentioned almost every day in the records of the heir, because they constantly meet - either during the day they ride together, then at night they sit up until dawn. Undoubtedly, she was very attracted to him at that time. However, this “peak” of relations was also the beginning of their end. For most of the year, Nikolai was on the road - he visited the Crimea, England, Finland and Denmark, and also took part in the "mobile training" of the Preobrazhensky Regiment.

Meetings with Matilda stop, and the Tsarevich, as if, grows cold towards the object of his passion. At the same time, the ballerina's diaries are cut off. Perhaps she stopped leading them in frustrated feelings. But, one way or another, the relationship between Nikolai and Matilda is gradually fading away. At the same time, the illness of Emperor Alexander is aggravated - it becomes clear to everyone that very soon his son will take the throne. The contradictions preventing the marriage of the heir and Alice Gessen are beginning to be resolved. The Tsarevich understands that his life will change radically, and there will no longer be room for a frivolous, but passionate love for the ballerina.

The last meeting and explanation of Nicholas and Matilda takes place at the end of 1893. She is described in the ballerina's memoirs - there she says that Nikolai said that their love would forever remain the brightest moment of his youth. It is known that after the announcement of the engagement of the heir to the throne with a foreign princess, Nicholas and Matilda stopped communicating and never met alone again.

Publishing house "Tsentrpoligraf" released "Memoirs" of the famous ballerina. Despite the fact that this book of memoirs was written jointly with her husband, Grand Duke Andrei Vladimirovich, in it Matilda Feliksovna quite frankly talks about her romance with the Heir, the future emperor, relations with Grand Duke Sergei Mikhailovich and other fans, many of whom offered the stage star not only their love, but also the marriage union. publishes excerpts from these memoirs.

As a fourteen-year-old girl, I flirted with the young Englishman MacPherson. I was not fond of him, but I liked to flirt with a young and elegant young man. On my birthday, he came with his fiancee, it hurt me, and I decided to take revenge. I could not miss this affront for nothing. Having chosen the time when we were all together and his fiancee was sitting next to him, I inadvertently said that I like to go for mushrooms in the morning before coffee. He kindly asked me if he could come with me. This was all I needed - it means it pecked. I replied in the presence of the bride that if she gave him permission, then I had nothing against it. Since this was said in the presence of all the guests, she had no choice but to give the required consent. The next morning we went with McPherson to the forest for mushrooms. He gave me here a lovely ivory purse with forget-me-nots - a gift quite suitable for a young lady of my age. We picked mushrooms poorly, and by the end of the walk it seemed to me that he had completely forgotten about his bride. After this walk in the forest, he began to write me love letters, sent me flowers, but I soon got tired of this, since I was not fond of him. It ended with the fact that his wedding did not take place. It was the first sin on my conscience.

(after graduation performance)

The emperor sat at the head of one of the long tables, to his right sat a pupil who was supposed to read a prayer before dinner, and another was supposed to sit on the left, but he pushed her away and turned to me:

And you sit next to me.

He pointed out to the heir a place nearby and, smiling, said to us:

Just don't flirt too much.

In front of each device was a plain white mug. The heir looked at her and, turning to me, asked:

You probably don’t drink from such mugs at home?

This simple question, so trifling, remained in my memory. Thus began my conversation with the Heir. I don't remember what we talked about, but I immediately fell in love with the Heir. Like now, I see his blue eyes with such a kind expression. I stopped looking at him only as the Heir, I forgot about it, everything was like a dream. Regarding this evening, in the Diary of Emperor Nicholas II, under the date March 23, 1890, it was written: “Let's go to a performance at the Theater School. There was a small play and a ballet. Very well. Dinner with pupils. So I learned many years later about his impression of our first meeting.

We were more and more attracted to each other, and I increasingly began to think about getting my own corner. Meeting with parents became simply unthinkable. Although the Heir, with his usual delicacy, never openly spoke about it, I felt that our desires coincided. But how do you tell your parents? I knew that I would cause them great grief when I said that I was leaving my parents' house, and this tormented me endlessly, because I adored my parents, from whom I saw only care, affection and love. Mother, I told myself, would still understand me as a woman, I was even sure of this, and I was not mistaken, but how can I tell my father? He had been brought up with strict principles, and I knew that I was dealing him a terrible blow, given the circumstances under which I left the family. I was aware that I was doing something that I had no right to do because of my parents. But... I adored Nicky, I only thought about him, about my happiness, even if it was brief...

I found a small, charming mansion at No. 18 Angliisky Prospekt, which belonged to Rimsky-Korsakov. It was built by the Grand Duke Konstantin Nikolaevich for the ballerina Kuznetsova, with whom he lived. It was said that the Grand Duke was afraid of assassination attempts, and therefore there were iron shutters in his study on the first floor, and a fireproof cabinet for jewelry and papers was built into the wall.

The heir often began to bring me gifts, which at first I refused to accept, but, seeing how it upset him, I accepted them. The gifts were good, but not large. His first gift was a gold bracelet with a large sapphire and two large diamonds. I engraved on it two especially dear and memorable dates to me - our first meeting at the school and his first visit to me: 1890-1892.

I hosted a housewarming party to celebrate my move and the start of my independent life. All the guests brought me housewarming gifts, and the Heir presented eight gold, jeweled vodka cups.

After the move, the Heir gave me his photograph with the inscription: “My dear lady,” as he always called me.

In the summer I wanted to live in Krasnoye Selo or near it, in order to be able to see the Heir more often, who could not leave the camp to meet with me. I even found myself a pretty dacha on the shores of Lake Duderhof, very convenient in every respect. The Heir did not object to this plan, but I was given to understand that it might cause unnecessary and undesirable talk if I settled so close to the Heir. Then I decided to rent a dacha in Koerovo, it was a large house built in the era of Empress Catherine II and had a rather original triangle shape.

On April 7, 1894, the engagement of the Heir to the Tsesarevich with Princess Alice of Hesse-Darmstadt was announced. Although I knew for a long time that it was inevitable that sooner or later the Heir would have to marry some foreign princess, nevertheless, my grief knew no bounds.

After his return from Coburg, the Heir did not visit me again, but we continued to write to each other. My last request to him was to allow him to write to him as before on "you" and to address him in case of need. The Heir replied to this letter with remarkably touching lines, which I remember so well: “Whatever happens to me in my life, meeting with you will forever remain the brightest memory of my youth.”

In my grief and despair, I was not alone. Grand Duke Sergei Mikhailovich, with whom I became friends from the day when the Heir first brought him to me, stayed with me and supported me. I never had a feeling for him that could be compared with my feeling for Nicky, but with all his attitude he won my heart, and I sincerely fell in love with him. That faithful friend, as he showed himself these days, he remained for life, and in happy years, and in days of revolution and trials. Much later, I learned that Nicky asked Sergey to watch over me, protect me and always turn to him when I need his help and support.

The touching attention on the part of the Heir was his expressed desire that I stay to live in the house that I rented, where he visited me so often, where we were both so happy. He bought and gave me this house.

It was clear to me that the Heir did not have what it took to reign. It cannot be said that he was spineless. No, he had character, but he didn't have something to make others bend to his will. His first impulse was almost always correct, but he did not know how to insist on his own and very often yielded. I told him more than once that he was not made for kingship, nor for the role that fate would have him play. But never, of course, did I convince him to renounce the Throne. Such a thought never crossed my mind.

The coronation celebrations scheduled for May 1896 were approaching. Everywhere there was a feverish preparation. At the Imperial Theater, the roles for the upcoming parade performance in Moscow were distributed. Both troupes had to be united for this exceptional occasion. Although Moscow had its own ballet troupe, artists from the Petersburg troupe were sent there in addition, and I was one of them. I was supposed to dance the ballet "Flora Awakening" there in ordinary performances. However, I was not given a role in the grand performance, for which they staged a new ballet, "Pearl", to the music of Drigo. Rehearsals for this ballet have already begun, the main role was given to Legnani, and the rest of the roles are distributed among other artists. Thus, it turned out that I was not supposed to participate in the ceremonial performance, although I already had the title of a ballerina and carried a responsible repertoire. I considered this an insult to myself in front of the whole troupe, which, of course, I could not endure. In complete despair, I rushed to the Grand Duke Vladimir Alexandrovich for help, since I did not see anyone around me to whom I could turn, and he always treated me cordially. I felt that only he alone would be able to intercede for me and understand how undeservedly and deeply offended I was by this exclusion from the ceremonial performance. How and what, in fact, the Grand Duke did, I do not know, but the result was quick. The Directorate of the Imperial Theaters received an order from above that I take part in the parade performance at the coronation in Moscow. My honor was restored, and I was happy, because I knew that Nicky had done this for me personally, without his knowledge and consent, the Directorate would not have changed its previous decision.

By the time the order was received from the Court, the ballet "Pearl" was fully rehearsed and all the roles were distributed. In order to include me in this ballet, Drigo had to write additional music, and M.I. Petipa put on a special pas de deux for me, in which I was called the “yellow pearl”: since there were already white, black and pink pearls.

In the previous season, the stage did not captivate me, I almost did not work and did not dance as well as I should have, but now I decided to pull myself together and began to study hard in order to be able, if the Sovereign came to the theater, to please him with my dancing. During this season, 1896/97, the Tsar and the Empress attended the ballet almost every Sunday, but the Directorate always arranged for me to dance on Wednesdays when the Tsar was not at the theater. At first I thought it was happening by accident, but then I noticed that it was done on purpose. It seemed to me unfair and extremely insulting. Several Sundays passed like this. Finally, the Directorate gave me a Sunday performance; I was supposed to dance Sleeping Beauty. I was quite sure that the Tsar would be at my performance, but I found out - and everything is recognized very quickly in the theater - that the Director of Theaters persuaded the Tsar to go to the Mikhailovsky Theater that Sunday to see a French play, which he had not seen on the previous Saturday. It was perfectly clear to me that the Director had deliberately done everything possible to prevent the Sovereign from seeing me, and for this purpose persuaded him to go to another theater. Then I could not stand it and for the first time used the permission of the Sovereign given to me to directly address him. I wrote to him about what was happening in the theatre, and added that it was becoming completely impossible for me to continue serving on the Imperial stage under such conditions. The letter was handed over personally to the Sovereign by Grand Duke Sergei Mikhailovich.

This season, four Grand Dukes: Mikhail Nikolaevich, Vladimir Alexandrovich, Alexei and Pavel Alexandrovich showed me touching attention and presented me with a brooch in the form of a ring studded with diamonds, with four large sapphires, and a plaque with their names engraved on it was attached to the case.

In the summer of the same year, when I was living at my dacha in Strelna, Niki, through Grand Duke Sergei Mikhailovich, told me that on such and such a day and hour he would ride past my dacha with the Empress, and asked me to be sure to come to this time in your garden. I chose a spot in the garden on a bench where Nicky could see me clearly from the road he was supposed to be taking. Exactly on the appointed day and hour, Nicky drove with the Empress past my dacha and, of course, saw me perfectly. They drove slowly past the house, I stood up and made a deep bow and received an affectionate response. This incident proved that Nicky did not hide his past attitude towards me at all, but, on the contrary, openly showed me sweet attention in a delicate way. I did not cease to love him, and the fact that he did not forget me was a tremendous consolation to me.

The tenth anniversary of my service on the Imperial stage was approaching. Usually, artists were given a benefit for twenty years of service or a farewell when the artist left the stage. I decided to ask for a benefit performance for ten years of service, but this required special permission, and I turned with this request not to the Director of the Imperial Theaters, but personally to the Minister of the Imperial Court, Baron Fredericks, a sweet and sympathetic man who always treated kindly and favored to me. When I had an appointment with the Minister, I thought very carefully about my dress in order to make the best possible impression on the Minister. I was young and, as they wrote in the newspapers at that time, slender and graceful. I chose a light gray woolen dress that hugged my figure, and a three-cornered hat of the same color. Although it may seem impudent on my part, I liked myself when I looked in the mirror - pleased with myself, I went to the Minister.

He greeted me very nicely and complimented me about my toilet, which he really liked. It gave me great pleasure that he appreciated my dress, and then I boldly turned to him with my request. He immediately kindly agreed to report it to the Sovereign, since the issue of appointing a benefit outside the general rules depended solely on the Sovereign. Seeing that the Minister was in no hurry to let me go, I told him that it was only thanks to him that I was doing well 32 fouettes. He looked at me in surprise and inquiringly, wondering how he could help me with this. I explained to him that in order to do a fouette without moving from one place, it is necessary to have a clearly visible point in front of you at every turn, and since he is sitting in the very center of the stalls, in the first row, even in a dimly lit room on his chest there is a bright stand out for their brilliance of the order. The Minister liked my explanation very much, and with a charming smile he accompanied me to the door, once again promising to report my request to the Sovereign and letting me know that, of course, there would be no refusal. I left the Minister caressed and very happy. Of course, I received a benefit performance, and again my unforgettable Nicky did it for me. For my benefit performance, I chose Sunday, February 13, 1900. This number has always brought me happiness.

On the day of their benefit performances, the artists usually received from the Cabinet of His Majesty the so-called Royal Gift, mostly a patterned gold or silver thing, sometimes decorated with colored stones, depending on the category of the gift, but always with the Imperial eagle or crown. Men usually received gold watches. These gifts did not differ in special grace. I was very afraid that I would receive such an ornament that would be unpleasant to wear, and I asked through Grand Duke Sergei Mikhailovich to do everything possible so that I would not be rewarded with such a gift. And indeed, on the day of the benefit performance, the Director of the Imperial Theaters, Prince Volkonsky, came to my dressing room and handed me a Tsar's gift: a lovely brooch in the form of a diamond snake coiled into a ring and in the middle a large cabochon sapphire. Then the Sovereign asked Grand Duke Sergei Mikhailovich to tell me that he chose this brooch together with the Empress and that the snake is a symbol of wisdom...

Grand Duke Andrei Vladimirovich immediately made a huge impression on me that first evening that I met him: he was amazingly handsome and very shy, which did not spoil him at all, on the contrary. During dinner, he accidentally touched a glass of red wine with his sleeve, which tipped over in my direction and spilled over my dress. I was not upset that the wonderful dress was lost, I immediately saw in this an omen that this would bring me a lot of happiness in life. I ran upstairs to my room and quickly changed into a new dress. The whole evening went surprisingly well, and we danced a lot. From that day on, a feeling crept into my heart that I had not experienced for a long time; it was no longer an empty flirtation...

During the summer, Grand Duke Andrei Vladimirovich began to come more and more often to rehearsals at the Krasnoselsky Theater. Our beautiful dramatic actress Maria Alexandrovna Pototskaya, who was a great friend of mine, teased me, saying: “Since when did you start getting into boys?” He was actually six years younger than me. And then he began to come to me all the time in Strelna, where we spent such a wonderful and nice time. I remember those unforgettable evenings that I spent in anticipation of his arrival, walking in the park in the moonlight. But sometimes he was late and arrived when the sun was already beginning to rise and the fields were fragrant with the smell of cut hay, which I loved so much. I remember the day of July 22, the day of the angel of the Grand Duchess Maria Pavlovna, his mother. On her name day, a picnic with music and gypsies was always arranged in Ropsha. He could not come to me in Strelna early, but he promised to come anyway, unless they stayed there too late, returning to his place back in Krasnoye Selo. With excitement, I was waiting for him, and when he appeared, my happiness knew no bounds, especially since I had no confidence that he would be able to call on me. The night was wonderful. We sat on the balcony for long hours, now talking about something, now listening to the singing of waking birds, now the rustle of leaves. We felt like in paradise. This night, this day we never forgot, and every year we celebrated our anniversary.

Upon arrival in Paris, I felt unwell, invited a doctor who, after examining me, said that I was in the very first period of pregnancy, about a month in total, by his definition. On the one hand, this news was a great joy for me, and on the other hand, I was at a loss as to what I should do when I returned to St. Petersburg. Then I remembered the bite of a monkey in Genoa, whether this bite would affect the appearance of my child, as they said that a strong impression is reflected in the child. After spending a few days in Paris, I returned home, I had to go through a lot of joyful things, but also a lot of hard ones ... In addition, I had a difficult season ahead, and I did not know how I would endure it in such a state.

Before Lent, they gave a pretty little ballet "Mr. Dupre's Disciples", in two scenes, staged by Petipa to music. I danced the role of Camargo, and in the first act I had a charming soubrette costume, and in the second - tunics. The stage was close to the chairs in the first row, where the Sovereign with the Empress and members of the Imperial family were sitting, and I had to think very carefully about all my turns so that my changed figure would not catch my eye, which could only be seen in profile. This show ended the season. I could no longer dance, it was the sixth month. Then I decided to transfer my ballet "La Bayadère". I was on the best terms with her, she was constantly at my house, she had a lot of fun and was fond of the Grand Duke Boris Vladimirovich, who called her an “angel”. From the day she left the school (1899), the public and ballet critics immediately drew attention to her and appreciated her. I saw in her the beginnings of a major talent and foresaw her brilliant future.

My son was born, it was early in the morning of June 18, at two o'clock. I fell ill with a high temperature for a long time, but since I was strong and healthy by nature, I began to recover relatively soon. When I was somewhat stronger after childbirth and my strength was restored a little, I had a difficult conversation with Grand Duke Sergei Mikhailovich. He knew very well that he was not the father of my child, but he loved me so much and was so attached to me that he forgave me and decided, in spite of everything, to stay with me and protect me as a good friend. He feared for my future, for what might await me. I felt guilty before him, because the previous winter, when he was courting a young and beautiful Grand Duchess and there were rumors about a possible wedding, I, having learned about this, asked him to stop courtship and thereby put an end to unpleasant conversations for me. I adored Andrei so much that I did not realize how guilty I was before the Grand Duke Sergei Mikhailovich.

A difficult question confronted me, what name to give my son. At first I wanted to call him Nikolai, but I couldn’t, and didn’t have the right to do this, for many reasons. Then I decided to name him Vladimir, in honor of Father Andrei, who always treated me so cordially. I was sure that he would have nothing against it. He gave his consent. The christening took place in Strelna, in a close family circle, on July 23 of the same year. The godparents were my sister and our great friend, Colonel, who served in Her Majesty's Life Guards Lancers Regiment. According to custom, I, as a mother, did not attend the christening. On this day, Grand Duke Vladimir Alexandrovich presented Vova with a wonderful cross made of dark green Ural stone with a platinum chain. Alas, this precious gift remained in my house in St. Petersburg. In the summer, when I was already up, the Grand Duke Vladimir Alexandrovich visited me. I was still very weak and took him lying on the couch and holding my baby in my arms in swaddling clothes. The Grand Duke knelt before me, touchingly consoled me, stroked my head and caressed me... He knew, he felt and understood what was going on in my soul and how difficult it was for me. For me, his visit was a huge moral support, it gave me a lot of strength and peace of mind.

In my home life, I was very happy: I had a son whom I adored, I loved Andrei, and he loved me, the two of them were my whole life. Sergey behaved infinitely touchingly, he treated the child as his own and continued to spoil me very much. He was always ready to protect me, as he had more opportunities than anyone else, and through him I could always turn to Niki.

At Christmas, I arranged a Christmas tree for Vova and invited Rockefeller's little granddaughter, who lived in our hotel and often played with Vova, digging in the sand on the seashore. This little Rockefeller gave Vova knitted shoes. Unfortunately, we did not meet her anywhere else and completely lost sight of her.

All my life I have loved building. Of course, my house in St. Petersburg was the largest and most interesting building in my life, but there were also less significant ones. So, in Strelna, at the dacha, I built a lovely house for my power station with an apartment for an electrical engineer and his family. At that time there was no electricity anywhere in Strelna, not even in the palace, and my dacha was the first and only one with electric lighting. Everyone around me envied me, some asked to give them part of the current, but I barely had enough station for myself. Electricity was then a novelty and gave a lot of charm and comfort to my dacha. Then I built another house in Strelna, in 1911, about which it is worth saying a few words. My son, when he was twelve years old, often complained that he did not see me much at home because of my long rehearsals. As a consolation, I promised him that all the money raised during this season would be used to build him a small house in the country, in the garden. And so it was done; with the money I earned, I built a children's house for him with two rooms, a salon and a dining room, with dishes, silver and linen. Vova was wildly delighted when he examined the house, surrounded by a wooden fence with a gate. But I noticed that, going around the rooms and the whole house, he was preoccupied with something, as if looking for something. Then he asked me where the restroom was. I told him that the cottage is so close that he can run there, but if he really wants to, then I will dance a little more, so that it is enough to build a latrine. This plan did not come true - war broke out.

At that time, my dear admirer was almost a boy. His sister, the beautiful Irina, later Countess Vorontsova-Dashkova, drove everyone crazy. My acquaintance with Volodya Lazarev, as we all called him, was amusing. It happened at a masquerade at the Maly Theater, where I was invited to sell champagne. I had a very beautiful dress that evening: a black satin tight skirt, a bodice of white chiffon that covered the shoulders and waist with a scarf, a large neckline, and a huge bright green bow at the back. This dress was from Paris, from Burr. On the head - a Venetian net of artificial pearls, falling on the forehead with a bunch of white "paradis" feathers attached at the back. I put on my emerald necklace, and on the bodice a huge diamond brooch with diamond threads hanging down like rain and attached in the middle a large emerald and egg-shaped diamond; I had a chance to please the public.

At the party, I first appeared in a black domino, under a mask with thick lace, so that they would not recognize me. The only thing that was visible through the veil was my teeth and the way I smiled, and I knew how to smile. I chose Volodya Lazarev as the subject of my intrigue, who struck me with his almost childlike appearance and cheerfulness. Knowing more or less who he was, I began to arouse his curiosity, and when I saw that he was really intrigued, I disappeared into the crowd and, quietly leaving the hall, went to change into evening clothes. Then I returned to the ball and went straight to my table to sell champagne, pretending that I had just arrived. Volodya Lazarev came up to my table without knowing me. Of course he didn't recognize me. But the trouble was that when I was under the mask, he drew attention to my teeth, which were visible through the veil, and kept repeating: "What teeth ... what teeth ..." I, of course, was afraid to smile now , serving him wine, but no matter how hard I tried to restrain myself and make a serious face, I still smiled, and then he instantly recognized me: “What teeth!” he shouted with joy and laughed heartily. Since then, we have become great friends, had fun together, survived the revolution together, fled Russia together and met again in exile as old friends.

In 1911, I was celebrating my twentieth anniversary of service on the Imperial stage, and I was given a benefit performance on this occasion.

During the first intermission, the Director of the Imperial Theaters, Telyakovsky, presented me with a Tsar's gift on the occasion of my anniversary. It was an oblong diamond eagle of Nikolaev times in a platinum frame and on the same chain to wear around the neck. On the reverse side there was no nest of stones, as is usually done, but everything was completely sealed with a platinum plate in the shape of an eagle, and on it was engraved the outline of an eagle and its feathers of remarkably fine and original work. Below the eagle hung a pink sapphire set in diamonds. Grand Duke Sergei Mikhailovich also came at the first intermission and told me that the Emperor had told him that he was interested in whether or not I would wear his present on stage. Of course, after that I immediately put it on and danced the pas de deux in Paquita in it. In the second intermission, that is, after Paquita, with an open curtain, I was honored with a deputation from the artists of all the Imperial Theaters, that is, ballet, opera, drama and the French Theater.

A long table was set up across the width of the stage, on which gifts were displayed in an absolutely incredible amount, and flower offerings were placed behind the table, forming a whole flower garden. I now remember all the gifts, let alone count them, except for two or three of the most memorable ones. In addition to the Tsar's gift, I received:

From Andrei - a marvelous diamond headband with six large sapphires according to the design of the headdress made by Prince Shervashidze for my costume in the ballet "The Pharaoh's Daughter".

Grand Duke Sergei Mikhailovich gave me a very valuable thing, namely, a Faberge mahogany box in a gold frame, in which a whole collection of yellow diamonds, wrapped in paper, was packed, ranging from the smallest to the very largest. This was done so that I could order a thing for myself according to my taste - I ordered a “plakka” from Faberge to wear on my head, which turned out remarkably beautiful.

In addition, also from the public, a diamond watch in the form of a ball, on a chain of platinum and diamonds. Since more money was collected by subscription than these items were worth, more golden cups were bought with the surplus at the very last minute as the money came in, and quite a lot of them accumulated.

From Muscovites I received the "surte de table", a mirror in a silver frame in the style of Louis XV with a silver vase for flowers on it. The names of all the persons who took part in the gift were engraved under the vase, and it was possible to read all the names in the mirror without lifting the vase.

It seems to me that on that day I also received from Yu.N. A gray crystal sugar bowl in a silver frame by Faberge. After the coup, this sugar bowl remained in my house in St. Petersburg, and I accidentally found it in Kislovodsk in a silver shop. She was, apparently, stolen from me and sold, and so, passing from hand to hand, reached Kislovodsk. When I proved to the police that this was my thing, they returned it to me, and I still have it here in Paris.

Shortly after my birthday, August 27, Andrei left for Kyiv to attend large maneuvers in which the regiment of which he was chief took part. The Chairman of the Council of Ministers P.A. arrived in Kyiv on this occasion. Stolypin, Minister of Finance Count V.N. Kokovtsov and a significant part of the Sovereign's retinue. In the early days, there were maneuvers in the vicinity of the city and a tour of the historical places of Kyiv. On September 3, a parade performance was scheduled at the city theater. In the morning, alarming information was received from the police that terrorists had arrived in Kyiv and there was a danger of assassination if they could not be arrested in time. All police searches were in vain, and anxiety intensified among the Sovereign's guards. The police considered the passage of the Sovereign from the palace to the theater to be the most dangerous moment, since the path was known to everyone, but everyone arrived safely. During the second intermission, tea was served to the Sovereign in the antechamber. The Empress did not come to the theater, only the senior Grand Duchesses were there. At that moment, a terrible crack was heard from the auditorium, and then frantic screams. Not knowing what was the matter, the Sovereign said: “Is it really the bed that failed?” - the noise and crackling were incomprehensible. But when everyone rushed back, they saw that P.A. Stolypin, holding his hand to his chest, from which blood flowed through his fingers. Seeing the Sovereign, Stolypin raised his hand, making a gesture for the Sovereign to leave the box, and began to baptize him. Stolypin was surrounded by nearby people to support him, as he began to weaken rapidly, his face turned deathly pale, and he fell unconscious on an armchair. Further, according to Andrei, it was difficult to make out what was happening. Everyone was shouting, some were running somewhere, officers with swords unsheathed pursued someone and in the aisle, almost at the exit from the hall, they caught and wanted to stab.

It turned out later that the murderer of Stolypin Bogrov was caught and badly beaten in the passage. It was he who let the police know about the arrival of terrorists in Kyiv, since he had previously served as an informer in the police, was removed and again received just before the Kiev celebrations. The police searched in vain all day for the terrorist, not knowing that he was in front of them. He asked to be allowed into the theater on the pretext that he knew the terrorists by sight, and if one of them penetrated the theater, he would point him out to security agents. The police let him through as their agent into the theater hall, where no one paid any attention to him, and he approached Stolypin completely unhindered and calmly and fired at him point-blank and just as calmly began to move away when he was seized.

P.A. Stolypin was immediately taken to a private clinic, where, after examining the wound, the doctors expressed fear that he would not survive, as the liver was affected. For five days Stolypin struggled with his almost hopeless condition, and on September 8 (21) he died.

The news of the assassination attempt on Stolypin reached us in St. Petersburg the next morning, and I involuntarily thought about how tragically unlucky my poor Nicky was. He suffered blow after blow: he lost his father so early, got married on such sad, mourning days, the coronation was overshadowed by the Khodynka disaster, he lost his best Minister of Foreign Affairs, Count Lobanov-Rostovsky, who died shortly after his appointment, and now he is losing his best his Minister, who suppressed the revolutionary outbreak of 1905.

At that time we could not even imagine what awaited him in the future and how terribly his fate would end. When the 1917 revolution broke out, many thought that if Stolypin had lived, he might have been able to stop it.