What do you do when things don't go the way you want? Here's What to Remember When Things Go Wrong in Life... If Things Don't Go the Way You Want Quote

I am 40 years old and everything in my life turned out absolutely not the way I wanted, I feel like in an ancient Greek tragedy, in it the hero always wants one thing and the result is the opposite, my family considers me a loser, a defective product, crazy, I myself feel that way , the only child today said that I myself am to blame for the fact that my life is not what I want, what can I do about the fact that such circumstances developed, as if I always wanted the best, but it turned out worse. I want everything to be somehow different, but I don’t see a way out, there are no prerequisites. I just don’t want to live anymore, I feel that all my attempts to change something are fruitless. and then what, poverty, complete uselessness to anyone and a cheap coffin. it's all
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Alexandra, age: 40 / 01/13/2013

Responses:

Alexandra, write what went wrong, why do you call yourself names like that. Other people, okay, God is their judge, but why are you blaming yourself? As if there are people in the world who succeed in everything as they planned. Well, that's all. And always. Wizards are simple. They rule the whole world ... Oh, well, some kind of nonsense ... If you yourself, Alexandra, know that you wanted something, did everything in your power - and this something did not happen due to circumstances beyond your control - why do you scold yourself? You are not omnipotent, you are not the Lord God. You can’t scold yourself for how the world works, where we depend on a lot of different things ...

Nelly, age: ** / 01/14/2013

You know, Alexandra, I don't like to be hypocritical and I don't want to look like that blind man who leads the blind. It is clear from the letter that you
in despair, but one must not be afraid to somehow admit mistakes, we are all not saints. You know, my mistake and those around me are often that we spend our energy in the wrong direction. Well, look, you are engaged in self-digging, maybe there are problems in the past, but don’t pick an abscess, we live now and do something now. Happiness is it not in both, but often next to us.
Forces must be spent on spiritual life, not only on material life, there will be peace in the soul and it will become easier in the family both at work and the man
a good one will appear. we men are looking for a positive cheerful woman, so don't be upset, do something slowly

Mikhail, age: 01/27/2013

Sasha, are you sure that most people's lives turn out exactly the way they would like? But they don't want to die.
You haven't explained exactly what life is not going the way you wanted. After all, some things in life you can try to change. Your life is in your hands. For example, for a long time, my life did not work out - my personal life. But I did not give up and searched for my destiny, mainly through the Internet, because in my opinion it is convenient. It took me about 6 years to search, but in the end I found my destiny there. You know how many times I wanted to give up and already stopped believing that I would have a family, but I didn’t give up and got what I wanted. As the saying goes, he who knocks will be opened. Don't give up, knock!

Oksana, age: 01/32/2013

Yes, it hurts and I want to die, but since you asked a question to the Universe, then be patient and get an answer. I asked the Higher powers about my purpose in life. I considered myself a complete failure, just like you. For two years she asked me for an answer, she was very worried, tormented. And they gave me an answer. It turned out that I was very successful in coping with my mission, although in social terms ... there were failures. Now I am glad and calm, and the material things will follow. I can’t write everything, but the topic is very interesting. Put a specific question to the Higher Forces and get ready to receive an answer. Good luck.

Tala, age: 40 / 01/14/2013

40 years is a great age to start a new life with a clean slate! Change profession, city, occupation. Shake yourself, dear, and go for it!

Agnia Lvovna, age: 72 / 01/14/2013

Alexandra, I apologize, maybe my story is inappropriate, at your discretion: to read or not. The important thing I want to advise you is in the last paragraph.

I had a terrible depression, I prayed for death, everything was disgusting, there was no support, no one understood, I hated life, everything didn’t work out the way I want, “friends” mocked, judged. I went to a psychologist - 0 progress, the money for a psychologist ran out, thank God. Because his method of treatment pushed me more towards suicide - he taught me forgiveness, and fought my aggression. The decision came by chance. Once I was in a theater, and a thought flashed through that I heard and knew, but this time it was as clear as ever: “All life is a Game”. I put on a mask, chose for myself the Role that I needed: Self-confident, self-sufficient person, unshakable able to defend himself with a word. To all the attacks of friends, relatives, that they say I have everything through one place, I also “beat” them in the most painful places - evil and rude, but why don’t they think that it hurts me, it hurts terribly, yes, I’m weak, Well, is this a reason to bring me to the handle. You can condemn. But this is my life and territory!!
There were breakdowns of hysterics, the thought was to quit everything, I'm sick that I remained a loser. I performed rituals that I read on websites, threw away all the old things, photographs, closed the door to the old life - I perfectly understood that I was sick, But this is my medicine and it helped me.
In my new life: “I am confident, I can do anything, I am my own Lord”, so I positioned myself in front of everyone. I never judged myself for mistakes and mistakes, you need to learn this, because this is an internal reflex - block it, block this depressing self-criticism.
I began to study the language, communicate with foreigners who study Russian, of all ages and genders, thereby improving my knowledge of languages. My social circle has changed, there are fewer acquaintances, but they were like my Mask, I ate energy from them !! None of them ever condemned me, all criticism was objective, I am grateful to them for that!! They, as it turned out, also cry, and sometimes they engage in self-flagellation, not everything is as beautiful as it seems, it is the same for everyone, YOU NEED TO BE ABLE TO PERCEIVE THE REALITY WITHOUT PAIN.

It was terribly difficult for me, terrible pain, mental pain, probably the worst in this world, you can’t get rid of it by drinking painkillers, it’s like “walking barefoot on hot coals.” I did everything by force and in spite of everyone.
I can’t say that I’m very happy now, but this is not the state of fear, and horror and hopelessness.
I'm trying to change my own consciousness, direct everything to the positive - it doesn't work, Maybe you can! ??
I CAN TELL YOU ONLY THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS I learned in my lesson:
Who gave them the right to judge YOU? on what basis are they judging you? They were in your shoes, they lived your life, They felt your pain? do they have a fire blazing in their chest and devour the pain? only “pathetic people” do this, who at the expense of your failures amuse their pride, don’t you lend a helping hand to a fallen person? or walk by shouting Loser?
Believe me, Suicide is a deprivation of reason to prove that you are really a Loser, you cannot arrange your own life and the best way to quit and leave. Why are you labeled like that? Most do not have the life they dream of, so it turns out, alas ...
Alexandra, I believe, I madly believe in you, you are the only one, the way you are, you need to fight, through “I don’t want”, sometimes, this is a very difficult path !! But, when you pass it, it is really a victory over yourself, over your fears: the most difficult thing that can be in life. And you certainly can, we can EVERYTHING, absolutely everything!!! This is a challenge, it is given only to the strong, you just do not know about this potential in you.
I understand that everything is difficult, it still doesn’t work out for me, because I want it, there is no warmth, comfort, family, but I’m fighting, I don’t believe in myself and that it will be (my faith died a long time ago), BUT I'm doing my best to perekor, fate and everything!!!

With all my heart I wish you success and overcome this temporary illness!!

Alex, age: 35 / 01/14/2013

What a pessimism though! Tail with a gun! When we came into this world, no one promised that it would be easy and fun. In the end, everything that does not kill us makes us stronger. No need to frantically look for a way out of a seemingly hopeless situation, try to do nothing and go with the flow, looking at the circumstances and hoping for the best - and everything will eventually normalize. A person should not seek harmony with the outside world, because the world, by and large, does not care about him, he must find harmony with himself - and then the world will not seem so hostile to him. Live without proving anything to anyone, everything you need, you know about yourself, but what do people think about you and about your life - what difference does it make to you, you will not please people, especially relatives - after all, we are connected with them by karmic ties, and , as a rule, we are given to each other for a reason - either as a reward or as a punishment for the purpose of education. In general, take life easier, there is not so much of it left for the human age, so why complicate everything if the end is defined as a "coffin" as you say, and whether it is cheap or expensive, won't it matter to us already?

Not every person can say that he lives the way he wants, he found what he was looking for, and his life fully corresponds to his dreams. Often the gap between the desired and the actual is so great that it can lead a person to despair and deprive him of the desire to live on. In this article, we will figure out how to live when everything is not the way you want, how to find the strength in yourself to move on and not give up.

It all depends on your perception

There is a wonderful theory that a person's problems do not come from real circumstances, but from his attitude towards them. In fact, in most cases we ourselves determine what is good and bad for us, and this may absolutely not correspond to the real state of affairs.

If we realize that the extent of our problem, as a rule, depends on our perception, then life will become much easier. After all, someone can spoil the mood of the whole team at work due to a morning traffic jam, and someone can smile when they find walls painted by a child in a newly renovated apartment. Remember: if you turn a failure into a tragedy, it grows in size accordingly. Well, complaints, tears, tantrums and nerves will definitely not change anything!

You can find happiness daily in the simplest things and enjoy life. Or you can spend your existence on eternal reasoning like “Now, if I had it ...”, “When I can earn so much, then ...”, etc. And if you don’t and you don’t earn? .. You no one will give you a chance to live life again, use every moment to see it as a reason for joy. Let every pleasant little thing become for you a good mood for the whole day, and every failure is perceived as an inevitability that has already happened. Of course, you should learn from mistakes, but you should not consider them as a harsh reality that prevents you from living on.

Decide on your desires

Many people ask the question: “How to live when everything is not the way you want?”. Do they know exactly what they want? Write down your desires on a piece of paper, starting with the most cherished and ending with everyday little things. Each of them requires a separate analysis, so give it enough time to understand what you are missing to implement it and what you do daily to achieve it.

Very often, many are surprised to find that they do not contribute to the realization of their desires. But, you see, it's stupid to wait for a fairy with a magic wand that will do it for you. Of course, who doesn't want to wake up a millionaire in bed with their loved one, afford to buy whatever their heart desires, and enjoy a carefree life on the ocean?

Well, for example, the dream is unlikely to come true so quickly, but living on some picturesque island is quite real. Not enough money? Earn. How? Just like others who, in your opinion, are absolutely happy. Lead by example and follow your goals. An aimless existence is a slow death. And remember: the stronger the desire, the more likely it is to come true.

Who is guilty?

Very often, we tend to blame the whole world, but not ourselves, for the fact that we do not live the way we want. As a rule, these are reflections in the spirit of “I was born in the wrong country”, “I needed to live in a different era”, “Not destiny”, etc. You will have to be disappointed: the time machine has not yet been invented. So none of us can be born again in another place and at another time. But we are able to build our lives according to our own scenario.

Believe me, the fact that you are not able to live the way you want is not the fault of either the country, or the state, or politicians, or society or your loved ones. Of course, in specific issues, all this can act as a kind of obstacle to your actions. But as for life in general - never! The problem of the absence of the desired reality lies only in the person himself. And the sooner he realizes this, the easier it will be for him to get rid of her.

How to be?

Remember that a complete loss of interest in life that you do not want or cannot fight often leads to long-term depression. And it is much more difficult to get out of this state than to try to find the meaning of life right now. If it is difficult for you to do this on your own, you should seek the help of a psychologist: very often we are not able to identify the causes of difficult mental states ourselves. The specialist will help to reconsider such a life position and come to the harmony of desires and reality.

Do not forget that a person always creates his own happiness. As the famous saying goes: “If you want to be happy, be happy!”.

When you start dating, you usually think about whether this relationship has a future. There are so many thoughts that you can get confused and confused. But there are five basic questions, the answers to which will help you understand whether it is worth continuing the relationship..

Just be honest with yourself...

It takes time to recognize a person who, by the will of fate, turned out to be next to us. And if he really is the one you were waiting for, well, great! I can only congratulate you. What if things don't work out the way you want? I'll just tell you when you need to end a relationship.

If you want to create a loving relationship, it is important to do some inner work in order to realize: who you are? what do you really need in life? what makes you happy? to what extent does the one who is now nearby correspond to real needs and is it worth continuing?

This article will help clarify the subtleties that "give out" a hopeless relationship. Often we begin to think about them, having already gained some experience and stuffed bumps. But let's talk about everything in order. Let's imagine the following situation:

Shopping center. Intensive human flow. Marina ran here at lunchtime to buy a handbag, which she accidentally saw in the window. Absolutely bomb! Would have been on time. “Young man, can you tell me, please, where is the ATM? - in a hurry she turned to the first person she met and was stunned: in front of her stood ... Johnny Depp!
No, it was, of course, another man - tall, wearing a hat, a stylish suit, expensive thin-rimmed glasses ... But what a striking resemblance! “Girl, I don’t know where the ATM is. But could you leave me your phone number?” - I heard in response. Thus began their acquaintance.
At first, Marina was beside herself with happiness: Arthur always smelled of expensive perfume, he was clean-shaven and so gallant! I never forgot to give flowers. And all her friends were just jealous!
But one day the phone rang: “Kitten! You see, my friend was in the hospital. You need expensive treatment. In general, I gave him the money that I saved for our trip. Marina almost burst into tears into the phone. She had been waiting for this trip for six months! For half a year I dreamed about what room they would live in, how they would bask on the dazzling sand on the ocean, what amazing temples, museums, dishes await them ... “But a friend is in trouble! What a selfish person I am!” – a thought flashed through, and wet eyes immediately dried up.
However, the farther, the less and less time Arthur devoted to Marina. He might have forgotten to text back. Disappeared in the gym, because of which they did not see each other so often. Rarely took her to the movies or cafes. “Little things! Marina reassured herself. But he is caring and cooks great! Only… when was the last time he did it?”

Stop! A familiar picture? Still would, many will answer.

What to do in a sick relationship in the first place? FROMwear rose-colored glasses . What does it mean? This means a desire to brush aside unpleasant signals coming from a man, despite the fact that they cause internal discomfort and even pain.

But you need to do exactly the opposite -become very vigilant, attentive and ask yourself just five questions that will reveal the true psychology of a man's behavior both in life and in love. What are these questions?

1. 1. I am dating a real person or someone
   what could he be?

Of course, ideal people do not exist. Therefore, many believe that continuing a “normal” or tolerable relationship is better than nothing. And you can ignore a couple of "red flags" for the sake of peace in the family. But at what price is this world given to you?

If a partner does not possess some of the most important qualities, you simply cannot be happy with him. What are these qualities? Tall, handsome, rich, athletic, smart, promising? Not at all! That is, of course, not bad if all this is available.

But life – this is not a romantic stroll through a spring garden. Very difficult moments happen in it: losses, illnesses, debts, a collision with someone's betrayal, aggression or danger ...

This is where you will need itreliability and a responsibility. And also - emotional openness, empathy and , because you just need to share with him both victories and defeats. And also -tolerance and ability to compromise: You are different people, and life does not happen without disagreements, sometimes very serious ones.

What else do you need?financial responsibility and family oriented– Without them, a long-lasting relationship is also impossible.

Does your chosen one have all these qualities? If they are not here and now, you will almost certainly be left with nothing. And either you will suffer until the end of your life, or replenish the sad statistics of divorces.

With that said, the very first question can be rephrased as follows:Do you want to spend your whole life with this man? Can you go through fire and water with him?
And if so, I'm sincerely happy for you!

1. 2. Do I want my child to become the same as my man?

If you dream of having children, then you simply do not have the right to ignore this question. After allwhen a child is born, it receives more than just a part of the parent's genes.

So if a man has such qualities as anger, despotism, a desire for control, or a lack of maturity and responsibility, consider this, as you may encounter these same traits in your child.

Do you hope that you will overcome the hereditary or behavioral shortcomings of your man in a child? Sometimes this is possible, but not always. So remember:you are putting at stake not only your own life, but also the life of a child .

1. 3. Do your views on life and values ​​match?

I have a lot of experience as a coach, as well as experience in relationships with women. But I confesswhen I met women and tried to create relationships, I often attached more importance to the coincidence of our hobbies and interests than the commonality of life views and values. It was a huge mistake! Why?

There is no couple who would not have disagreements on any issues at all stages of the development of relations. Butif the differences are too serious and concern fundamental points, the relationship is over.

You are frugal, and he is a spender? Do you have spiritual aspirations, and he considers it a whim? You are very sexy, but he is not? You dream of children, and he wants to devote himself to science? Do you want to work, but he sees you exclusively as the keeper of the hearth? Do you think that a man should fully provide for his family, but does he have a different opinion?

Whatever the differences, they cannot be ignored. Be sure to figure out which ones you can accept? for which it is possible to find a compromise solution? What can't you put up with?

If you find that you have enough points of contact and there are no fundamental inconsistencies, then your relationship with a man has every chance of becoming happy. And it's great!

If you suspect that differences that do not bother you now may become a problem in the future, consider whether to continue this relationship. Perhaps it is better to make a difficult choice today, so that in the future life itself will not force you to make it.

1. 4. Did my man's life get better when I appeared in it? Has my life improved with him?

These questions are one of the most important in the relationship between a man and a woman. In addition, they concern any person in your life, not just the chosen one. Although not so often people who are in a love relationship ask themselves them. Howeverthere are too many couples in which each individually can live a perfectly satisfying life, but together it becomes impossible .

In such relations, there is not enough attention, care, responsibility, compromises on both sides. Either one makes steps towards, and the other does not. Are you cooking a three-course meal and he chronically forgets to pack groceries on the way? Do you go to football together, but to the exhibition alone? Or do you not go there at all, because he is fundamentally against it?

Even if the life of only one of the partners improves in a relationship between a man and a woman, then such relationships are almost always doomed.

This situation is like a three-legged stool, where one leg is relationship and the other two are man and woman. If there is a split or crack in any of these three legs, the chair will collapse as soon as it is under load. That's whyour goal is to build a relationship with three strong legs and make sure it stays strong and sustainable .

1. 5. Are your life goals, aspirations and dreams compatible?

We all have life aspirations, whether it be love, work, or what brings us pleasure. This is all that we want to achieve in our life. Do you want to travel the world or create a home - a full bowl, a big family and enjoy the settled life? Live in a metropolis and make a career, or are you attracted to downshifting?

If the goals of your man are incompatible with yours, then a joint future may become impossible. That's why every time you enter into a relationship with a man, it is important that you can evaluate your and his life aspirations for compatibility.

To do this, you can ask him questions:what do you want to achieve in life? what are you dreaming about? How do you ideally see your life? everyone is free to realize their goals . Because everyone takes something from the outside world, which is then shared with a partner.

You are fond of painting, and he attends business trainings? Wonderful! Firstly, it helps to see each other as interesting, creative personalities, to admire and be proud of each other, to discover new, previously unknown sides.

Secondly, the pictures created by your hands can inspire him, stimulate his creative energy and help him advance in his business. And maybe one day you will create a common cause.

But if you are getting a second education, and he is still going to get the first one in absentia, or you are going into career growth, and he works as a petty government official and has no other plans, one day he may simply be of no interest to you.

In the matter of the psychology of relations between a man and a woman, the rule of a two-way street should work . But when the traffic goes only in one direction, someone will almost always be thrown to the side of the road.

So, your relationship with a man is promising if:

1) Your man has such qualities that allow you to say with confidence: "I want to live with this man all my life."
2) If your child inherits the character and habits of his father, you will only be happy about it.
3) You and your man have the same key views on life and values.
4) The lives of both have improved since you began to develop a relationship.
5) Life goals, aspirations and dreams of each other inspire and help both grow, building a truly harmonious relationship.

Thank you for being with me while reading this article! And remember, creating a sincere relationship between a man and a woman is the way to a truly happy family life!

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Are there people in the world who want to feel bad? Any living being strives to ensure that he was well, at least to survive. Man is no exception. Therefore, to one degree or another, all people think positively, that is, they want good things for themselves. Even a suicidal person does it because he thinks it will be better for him. Everyone has different dreams and desires. Everyone strives for something in life, even when just lying on the couch, at least to be left alone. Why not desire? Why do most of the desires do not come true, why do dreams collapse and hopes die?

Tell me, why do they even have to come true? Just because you want it so much or the teacher at the next psychological training told you that in order for a wish to come true, you need to really want it and you will succeed. And who-same not wants, all want. But it turns out in units. It turns out when desires coincide with the Karma of a person. It seems to me that this gigantic delusion is based on people's excessive, unfounded confidence in their abilities and abilities. We can observe this in everyday life, when people take on any business without either the ability or the necessary knowledge. As a result, a huge number of amateurs in all areas of life, from plumbers to heads of state. Therefore, the idea of ​​"positive thinking" lay on the fertile ground of the desire to get results quickly and effortlessly. After all, you just need to want and all.

In fact, between the desires of people and their embodiment in life is Karma. The fact is that our life is a reflection of our consciousness, which in turn is formed by Sanskaras or the matrix with the help of which Karma is recorded in it. This means that in life people will see not a reflection of their desires, but a reflection of their Karma, which in the vast majority of cases is very different from desires and hopes. It's like if we insert a disc with the movie "Avatar" into the player, but we want to see "Titanic", isn't it funny? Rave! But unfortunately, almost everyone does this in life. A simple example is who wants to be sick, old, poor, miserable, lonely, and so on? What about in practice?

We live in the Kali Yuga, more precisely, even in the Kali Yuga Sandhi, or in simple terms, in the last and final part of it. This period in the history of human civilization is characterized by the fact that the minimum amount of negative Karma in people is 75%. Try to realize your desires with such a force of resistance. This requires super abilities and great willpower, called Sankalpa Shakti in Yoga. It is something that the vast majority of people simply do not have. But this is not enough, the main thing is the opportunity to change your Karma, and this requires special knowledge. I always give this example: anyone knows that in order to fix a simple computer, special knowledge is needed. But every person believes that he is able to change his life for the better, simply because he wants to. But the life of an ordinary person is trillions of times more complicated than all computers combined, and in order to change it, moreover, special knowledge is needed. But knowledge is on a different level. People study various sciences: chemistry, physics, mathematics, but no one anywhere studies the most important science, the science of how to live in this life. After all, even a simple electric kettle has an instruction manual, but people don’t have such instructions for life. So everyone is trying, who is in what much, by typing. Hence the result. Fortunately, such a science exists and has existed for millions of years and it is called Sanatana Dharma. It contains all the secret, divine knowledge about life and ways to change Karma, including.

The fact that Karma stands between the desires of a person and their possibility of fulfillment is very good. Why? Imagine for a second what would happen if all the wishes of people came true. Yes, there would simply be no one left on earth. He wished you to die, and he take it right there and fulfill your desire. What would have happened on earth then, it’s even scary to think. In addition, often tomorrow people no longer want what they wanted yesterday. This is another reason why people's wishes do not come true. Karma is the universal safeguard and regulator.

Real positive changes in life are possible only with Divine help, because only in this way can one's Karma be changed. If God is with you, then what are you afraid of, and if not with you, then what are you hoping for. That is what Sanatana Dharma is for. An attempt to change life without God is doomed to failure, and if changes occur, then either one problem will replace another, or it will be “we wanted the best, but ……..”. No wonder the Bible says, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”