How to deal with those who ignore you. Ignore is the best way to bind a person to yourself: why, why and how it generally works. Don't overdo it. Measure is important everywhere

Hello to all fans to delve into the brain! No, I'm not talking about surgeons and pathologists, I'm talking about those who are impressed by psychology, those who don't feed bread - let's study such a complex phenomenon as a person.

Today I will touch on a slightly rare, but not at all boring topic - ignoring individuals of their own kind. We will figure out why ignoring is the best way to bind a person to yourself. We also think about why this “method of attracting attention” is so effective.

Where do the legs grow from or why does the ignore work in the opposite direction?

Surely, many of you have heard that by ignoring a person, you can attract his attention. But at the same time, the question immediately arises: “Is this even legal?”. How it works?

Human nature is such that we are all selfish creatures! And this is an established fact, even the most altruistic people are not able to argue with the laws of nature, which work on the conscious and subconscious levels.

If we are still able to control the consciousness, then the subconscious, alas, is not.

“Why ignore a person to get attention,” you ask. After all, you can, on the contrary, try to “show yourself” in all its glory!

But the reality is that a person who is ignored, in most cases, is able to experience the feeling that he was rejected.

And then Her Majesty "Naroticism" enters the scene. Together with selfishness, this gives a nuclear mixture, prompting a person to prove his significance and importance.

This is where it begins ... The attention of the ignored to the ignored increases quite significantly. In fact, it works precisely because the ignored person wants to prove his importance, first of all, to himself - that he is needed, that he is noticed.

Therefore, we can say that such a “seduction scheme” works solely from the selfish motives of a potential victim. And considering that a person initially has a code in his subconscious to love himself, which encourages him to increase the level of his own self-sufficiency, this method works for most people.

However, it is worth considering that this method is not a magic wand and it does not guarantee one hundred percent success in attracting attention. It works under certain conditions, which I propose to get acquainted with right now.

Instructions for management: how to draw attention to yourself with the help of ignore and why is it needed at all?

To begin with, it is advisable to decide for what purpose you want to attract the attention of a certain person: to amuse your ego, play with other people's feelings, or achieve his disposition towards yourself. Everyone has their own preferences, but this law of psychology works for everyone the same.

First, don't ignore the person you want to get attention from the start. First, show that he is important to you. Otherwise, you risk scaring him away with your indifference.

After you have made it clear to him that you like him, start acting.

But do not try to flirt and douse this person with your cold attitude towards him. It is best to be polite to him: when rescheduling a meeting, tell him about it gently and express your disappointment about such a force majeure.

Secondly, do not delay ignoring! Otherwise, you will get the appropriate result - the person will lose interest in you and cool off.

It is worth ignoring only for a short time to attract attention, after which you need to act, and not continue to dynamize your potential passion (this is especially true for men, although a priori it will not act in this way).

By the way, it’s worth a little reservation that this technique does not work for all people, because some of them have a low degree. Namely, it makes a person prove his worth.

Therefore, it will be difficult to ignore the attention of a person who is absolutely violet, what others think about him and whether they even pay attention to him.

Nevertheless, this method of "seduction" should not be written off. I'm also interested in hearing your opinions and stories on this topic. On this I do not say goodbye to you, but I say: "See you soon!".

Always me - Sasha Bogdanova

Ignoring someone can be quite difficult, especially if you constantly run into this person on your way if they try to talk to you or don't quite understand what's going on. But if you really need to ignore this person, then try to look very busy with your business, change your usual way of life and cut off all contact with this person. Check out the following tips on how to ignore someone.

Steps

Use body language

1. Don't look this person in the eye. Not making eye contact is the best way to ignore people. Once your eyes meet, it will show that you are aware of the existence of this person, and your efforts to ignore him will be in vain. If this person is in close proximity to you, avoid making eye contact at all costs. Look at everyone except him, look in front of you or just at the floor.

   • If a person is shorter than you, then just look over his head. If it is higher, then do not look up.
   • If he is the same height as you and is standing nearby, try to portray an absent, indifferent look in case you accidentally meet his eyes.

2. Pass by quickly. Another way to ignore a person is to walk as fast as possible. This will show that you are a busy person, you have time to do a lot of things, and that you have no desire to stop and talk to this person. Walk with your head held high and look like you're in a hurry, even if you're not.

   • If you see this person approaching you from afar, step back a little so you don't accidentally bump into him.
   • Do not turn to the side to get around your enemy. If you cross or turn on the other side of the road, it will show that you care. However, if you see him in the distance and are sure that he does not see you, then it is better indeed to turn off your path and out of sight.

3. Depict some kind of "closedness". If you happen to be near this person, fold your arms across your chest, cross your legs if you're sitting, hunch over a bit, and generally do everything to appear completely out of reach. Your body should say for itself: "Don't talk to me, buddy," and most likely your enemy will understand this hint.

   • Don't smile. Let your face be serious, even a little sullen, to show that you do not want to talk to anyone.
   • You can also draw a face with a blank and meaningless expression that will scare away anyone who tries to talk to you.
   • If you have long hair, bangs, or are wearing a hat, try to cover part of your face so you don't have to look the person in the eye.

4. Try to look like you are very busy. You can look either closed off from everything around you, or very, very busy, so much so that you simply cannot spare a second of your time for idle chatter with this person.

   • If you are currently with friends, then turn to face them and start something animatedly discussing and gesticulating. This will show that you are too busy to talk or look in anyone's direction.
   • If you are alone, immerse yourself in a book, magazine, or textbook. You can even quietly read aloud, as if you were memorizing something.
   • Always keep a lot of different items in your hands. When you walk or sit, hold your phone, textbooks, or a huge indoor flower in a pot in your hands. Seeing how busy you are, this person will not start a conversation with you.

   Use technology

   1. Use your phone. This will help you ignore any person. There are several ways to use the phone for this purpose. First, you can stare at the phone to look busy as soon as you see your enemy. You can talk to someone on the phone, laugh wildly, or dive headlong into correspondence with someone with whom you would like to communicate at the moment.

      • Change your phone number so this person can't call or text you.
      • Block him in your contacts so you don't receive messages from him.
      • Set your phone to ring for a time when you're near that person so you can pick up the phone and pretend you're talking to someone.

   2. Listen to music. Buy headphones and always wear them when you're alone, even if you're not listening to music. When you see your enemy, turn up the music to the fullest and shake your head to the beat to look completely absorbed and busy with your own business and not wanting to spend a single minute of your time talking.

      • If you really want to annoy, you can also close your eyes and sing along to the music so that the person does not have the slightest chance of talking to you.

   3. Ignore online. Ignoring online is much easier than ignoring a person in real life because you don't have to avoid meeting them. In this case, you just need to ignore emails, Facebook posts, Twitter notes, and any other messages on the network.

      • Block this person on your social networks. Make sure he can't contact you online.
      • Change your email address and virtual nicknames if necessary. Your enemy should not have a single way to get in touch with you on the network.

   Change your habits

   1. Take a different route. If you want to ignore someone and not meet them every time you go, the easiest thing to do is just change the route you normally take. If you always meet your enemy on the way in between classes, then take a different, longer path to the next lesson so as not to see this person. If you constantly meet him at work, then go down another hallway and use another restroom to keep contact to a minimum.

      • If you meet him wherever you go, then start driving.
      • If your enemy also changed his route in order to catch your eye again, then keep changing your route until he gets tired of this stupid game.

   2. Avoid places where your enemy likes to visit. It's elementary. If you know his favorite bars, restaurants and parks, just don't go there anymore. It's not worth it, however, if you're willing to spend enough time there and continuously ignore the person, you can try.

      • You can also remember the days when he usually goes there. If he visits his favorite restaurant on the weekends, and you really want to go there, then try to visit there during the week.
      • If he only goes to his restaurant during discount hours, then you can visit there a little later in the evening.

   3. Go to places where your enemy will never go. For example, if he prefers meat dishes, then look for restaurants in your area that serve vegetarian dishes. If he hates jazz, then go to a jazz concert in your area. If he is at enmity with one of your friends, then at this friend’s party you are unlikely to meet your enemy and be able to have a good time.

      • Visiting places and institutions where this person does not go will help you not only ignore him, but will also open up new and unexplored horizons for you.

   Ignore anyone in any situation

   1. Ignore anyone at school. It might not be easy, especially if you're in the same class, but you can still find a way. Here's how to do it:

      • If you are seated at the same desk as this person, move to another desk. If everyone has their own place in the class, then ask the teacher to transplant you.
      • If you see him at the school canteen, then sit at another table.
      • If you meet him in the hallway of the school, then just look straight ahead, as if you were in such a hurry to the next lesson that you did not notice how you passed this person.
      • If he asks you a question in class, turn your head away as if nothing happened.

   2. Ignore someone at work. This can be quite tricky as you may be sitting next to your enemy or even working on the same project. Anyway, there are several ways to minimize contact.

      • Do not enter the office kitchen or break room while this person is there. Remember when he usually eats in the kitchen or pours himself coffee, and try to have lunch and rest at other times if possible.
      • If you are sitting next to your enemy in the office, then try to focus on working on the computer, and also always have a pile of work papers on hand so that you can immerse yourself in them instead of looking in his direction.
      • This should not affect your professional activities. If you need to discuss something with this person on business matters, discuss it. He will be even more frustrated if you talk to him at work and completely ignore him outside of the workspace.

   3. Ignore someone socially. It's easy enough if you know what to do. You need to rely on your friends and try to stay as far away from this person as possible, even if you are in the same room. Here's what you can do:

      • Surround yourself with friends. Talk to them and laugh like you've never heard anything funnier in your life.
      • Dance. If your enemy approaches you and music is playing, immediately grab your friend and go dancing. If he does approach you on the dance floor, close your eyes as if enjoying the music.
      • If he is in the same circle of friends as you, then immerse yourself in an active conversation with one of your friends. When he starts talking, start scratching your ear or staring at the phone, in a word, act like nothing is happening.
   • Listen to your MP3 player to disengage from the person who is bothering you.
   • If your enemy tries to talk to you, then take out the phone and pretend that you are answering the call.
   • Make sure you have good reasons to ignore the person. (For example, if he wants to ask for forgiveness, then he can be given a chance).
   • If you know that you can meet this person in a certain place (for example, in a store), then check if his car is in the parking lot at the store before entering there.
   • While at work, keep your door closed or pretend to be on the phone.
   • Learn to see people out of the corner of your eye. Then you can pretend not to see them.
   • It is still necessary to talk with your enemy if the reason for your ignoring is completely solvable.
   • If the person you're angry with is sincerely remorseful, then it's probably best for you to forgive him or have a serious talk before cutting off all contact with him. Give him/her a chance - it's most likely just a misunderstanding.
   • If the person you are trying to ignore calls you by name or otherwise gets your attention, then there is an easy way out of this situation. Try to look very busy, say absentmindedly "Hello" and keep walking as if you have urgent business.
   • If you don't like this person, then doing all this is even easier.

   Warnings

   • Ignoring a person who sincerely wants to talk to you brings a lot of pain and suffering to a person. Before you start ignoring someone, make sure he/she really deserves it.

It's not very pleasant to feel ignored, whether by a friend, partner, or close relative. Despite the desire to tirelessly pursue a person’s reaction, it is actually wiser to retreat. Continue to lead a normal life while he processes his feelings. The good news is that he most likely won't ignore you forever! Once things have calmed down, try setting up a face-to-face meeting with the person to discuss the problem and come up with a solution together that works for both of you.

Steps

Give him space

Try to figure out why the person is ignoring you. Depending on the situation, the reason may be fairly obvious. For example, if you had a big fight with your wife, then most likely you know exactly why she treats you coldly. However, if you haven't noticed any issues between yourself and the person ignoring you, think you may have done something that upset them.

• For example, you gossiped about a friend behind his back, and all your words reached him.
• If you didn't include the person in your plans or didn't return their calls or messages, they may have been hurt by your behavior.

Advice: in some cases, the reason for ignoring may not lie in the behavior. If you're being shunned by your partner or a relatively new fan, it's probably best to just move on. You deserve someone who will treat you better!

Let it cool down. Regardless of the reason for being ignored, the worst thing you can do is constantly stalk the person. Do not bombard him with calls and messages and do not continue to torture him as to why he is ignoring you. Give him some time to consider his feelings and decide if he wants to continue communicating with you (and if so, how).

• There's nothing wrong with one text or call, but don't send a bunch of messages like "Why are you ignoring me?", "What did I do wrong?", or "Please talk to me!" Most likely, these messages will not only make the person angry, but also give the impression that you are desperate.
• It can be very difficult to hold back and not try to fix the problem right away. However, it is impossible to control the other person, so it is best to give them some space.

1. Take a break from work, school, or hobbies. Trying to figure out why a person is ignoring you, or obsessing over the fact that they are avoiding you, can take up a lot of time and energy. However, this is unproductive and will only make you unhappy. Continue with your daily activities and live your normal life. Immerse yourself in work or study - that's a productive way to not think about the problem.

   • In your free time, do what makes you happy, whether it's fishing, cooking, playing football, carpentry, writing poetry, swimming, knitting or coding!

2. Spend time with people who care about you. Even though a fight with a loved one can be very upsetting, chances are they aren't the only ones you enjoy spending time with. Reach out to friends and family and suggest going somewhere. Take the time to strengthen relationships with other people and spend quality time with them.

   • It's important to make sure your own emotional needs are met, especially if you're having trouble with a relationship that's important to you.

3. Think about how you have reacted to this behavior in the past. If the person has already boycotted you before, and you've paid a lot of attention to them in an attempt to build a relationship, they may be trying to do it again.

   • This is another reason why it's important not to push yourself or beg for attention. He may be ignoring you just to get you to react. Such a reaction will only show him that by ignoring he can achieve what he wants, although in fact this is an unhealthy way of solving problems.

4. Listen carefully interlocutor's words. Don't get defensive or think about counterarguments while he's talking. This can be tricky, especially if the person accuses you of something or thinks you're wrong. However, try your best to listen to what he has to say, read between the lines, and really try to look at the situation from his perspective.

   • Use body language to show that you are listening by making eye contact and nodding in understanding or agreement.
   • Don't be afraid to ask questions if you need clarification. You can also repeat his words to make sure you understand everything.

5. Please apologize if you are wrong. If you did something that upset or offended another person, accept responsibility for your actions. Put your ego aside to admit your mistakes and offer a sincere apology. If you acknowledge the significance of his feelings, it can go a long way in rebuilding the relationship.

   • Say something like, “Mash, I'm sorry I didn't invite you to the bachelorette party. I understand that I hurt you."

6. Explain your side of the story. Once the other person has voiced their grievances and feels heard, it will be your turn to explain how this conflict has affected you. Share your perspective on the situation without putting the blame on him. Use I-statements to indicate how you feel, and don't forget to share how you felt when you were ignored.

   • For example, you could say, “I was very sad and anxious when you refused to talk to me. I appreciate our friendship and want to make things right.”

7. Come together to compromise or solution, if possible. At this point, you most likely already understand whether it is possible to restore the relationship or not. In some cases, an apology is enough. But sometimes it takes time and the desire to get things right. Decide together what the next steps will be.

   • Each of you can offer a solution and a compromise to find an option that suits both of you.
   • It's easy to make promises, but it's even harder to keep them. Make sure you're really willing to do whatever it takes to restore trust in the relationship (if that's your case).

8. Accept that the relationship may not be worth saving. If a person is ignoring you to get you to do what they want (or not to do what they don't want), then they are manipulating you. This is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. If you notice that a friend or family member frequently uses this type of behavior, especially after you have resisted it, you may be better off without that person in your life.

There is nothing pleasant about being ignored, but it is important to remember that the situation is always bigger than what you see. If this attitude offends you, then try talking to the person to determine the cause of the problem.

Steps

How to solve a problem

Keep your home clean. You will be surprised how much your mental health will improve if your home is clean and tidy. Pay special attention to the bedroom. You can even ask friends to help you rearrange the furniture.

Find a hobby. Take up painting, music, poetry, or dancing. Creative activities help you find a way to express yourself and strengthen self-confidence, as well as increase the number of positive interactions with people.

Contribute to the community. For example, volunteer at a local animal shelter. Make the world a better place to build positive self-esteem.

Watch yourself. Many fears about other people arise from your own self-esteem. Try to share the situation and emotions. This is quite difficult, because people are emotional creatures, but still strive to impartially assess the circumstances. Use a variety of writing exercises to express your thoughts.

Contact a specialist. If you are unable to cope with the situation on your own, you can always turn to specialists. A therapist or school psychologist can help you deal with a difficult situation. If you are in school, try contacting a school psychologist as it is free.

How to build strong relationships

Take care of close friends. Some friends probably continue to treat you well. If you feel embarrassed because you used to communicate with this person less than with your other friends, try to be honest with him about your feelings.

• Suggest an activity that you both enjoy.