How to get rid of falling in love with a married man. How to get rid of love for a married man. How to get rid of psychological dependence on a person
The emergence of love is impossible to predict, and even more so to force yourself to fall in love or stop loving a person. This emotional state is generally not given a rational explanation and it is very difficult to manage.
Absolutely any man can become the object of love, whether he is married or not, is in a relationship or is absolutely free. That is why love can bring both a feeling of happiness and a feeling of bitter disappointment. The most inappropriate object for love can be a man who is married. It is best to protect yourself from such relationships in every possible way, even hurting yourself. The result of loving a married man can most likely be only your broken heart, wounded pride, a complete decrease in self-esteem and self-love.
Reasons for loving a married man
To cope with absolutely any problem, first of all, you need to find its cause, why this situation could happen to you at all. You can cope with such an inopportunely flashed feeling of love simply by understanding what you liked about this particular man, looking for reasons somewhere deep in yourself. It can be an acute feeling of loneliness, female unfulfillment, low self-esteem, a desire for affection, attention and love. If you honestly admit to yourself that you were just terribly lonely and lacked male affection, you will understand that you are not driven by a real feeling of love, but simply by a desire to solve your psychological problems. But do not forget that a man who belongs not only to you cannot give that kindness, attention and care that you deserve. Therefore, you should not exchange for a man who does not appreciate you, but simply look for a man who can give you all his love in its entirety. Moreover, now there are no big problems to find advice on how and where it is best to meet your love.
The main thing is just to want to solve this problem, and you yourself will be surprised how all your strong love will disappear somewhere by itself. It will not be superfluous to use techniques that help raise your self-esteem and love yourself. As unpleasant as it may be, but the presence of a married man in your life is a sign of low self-esteem, a deeply rooted opinion that you are unworthy of other relationships and a man who will belong only to you. Even if you are convinced that you are doing well with self-esteem, it will not be superfluous to once again remember about self-love and strengthen it.
How to deal with falling in love
Very often in such a relationship, you yourself are in no hurry to give free rein to your feelings and plunge into them, as if into a pool with your head. You understand that you should not rush, and do not even make any plans for the future with him, but, unfortunately, over time, as you communicate more and more with a married man, you quietly begin to fall in love with him, your sympathy develops into a deeper feeling, no matter how you feel about it yourself. Therefore, the best option, but not the easiest, would be a break in relations, abrupt and unexpected. To soften the gap for yourself, work on yourself psychologically and go to a club with a friend. To cope with the feeling of love for your lover, remember that he constantly cheats on you and does not even hide it. He is never near you during the holidays that he celebrates with his family. Thus, he constantly offends you and does not spare your pride, does not appreciate your attitude and love, neglects your company in order to spend time with another woman. There are no concepts in love, it is my first and more important, because my wife. Only two people are important here, and there is no place for a third. You need to put him before a choice, either you or she, and calmly let go of a person who does not respect you, does not love, does not protect and does not choose. You absolutely do not need a man who prefers your beautiful society to that of another woman. Learn to love, respect and appreciate yourself, and then these unhealthy relationships will become a thing of the past, making room for true and caring love based on mutual respect.
A few tips - how not to fall in love with a married man
In order to not have a feeling of falling in love with a person who is married at all, work on your psychological protection. You need, as soon as you feel the interest of a married man in yourself, always remember that you are worthy of respect, and this is not your last chance. And it will not be very pleasant when a man comes to you after another woman, and again goes to her. Before you reciprocate a married man, think about how your relationship will develop further. You will finally feel tenderness and care from a man and begin to give him the same in return. But over time, you will begin to feel that you do not have enough time that he can devote to you. You cannot call him, you do not enter the circle of his friends, hiding from everyone. If his wife finds out about you, then her reaction may not always be adequate. Sooner or later, the wife will put a choice before her husband, or even take active steps to return him to the family, becoming again the woman whom he once proposed to marry him, with whom he has so much in common. Nothing connects you except for frivolous relationships, and you will find yourself abandoned, with a broken heart, condemned by everyone, and even worse, they will begin to feel sorry for you or gloat behind your back. Therefore, before you start, think about why you need these troubles when you can meet a man who will be faithful to you and love only you, without exchanging for others.
Do not forget to remember that you will simply be annoyed in a relationship with a man who is busy. No matter how different men are, all married people behave in exactly the same way, and at their core, they are just traitors. Remember all the unpleasant features of a married man who is trying to achieve reciprocity from you. This will help to immediately cool your feeling for him, and will provide an opportunity to look at him from the side. At the same time, remember all your virtues, and try to remember them as often as possible. Such a discrepancy in his attitude towards a loved one with yours will make such an unfortunate man an absolutely unpromising option for you. Try to remember this all the time, and then you simply do not threaten to fall in love with such a loser who cannot decide on his feelings.
How to quickly get rid of falling in love with a married man
A good way to get rid of any crush will be your full load of other things. They simply will not leave you time to think about a married man and pay attention to his advances. Your immersion in work affairs, taking care of yourself, your favorite things and hobbies, will very soon let him understand that you are not an easily accessible woman who lacks the love of men, but a self-sufficient woman who is not going to endure humiliation and share her man with another.
Give yourself enough time, pamper yourself, go to a beauty salon, sign up for dances, change your wardrobe. All these pleasant worries will improve your mood and make you smile on your face. Here is such a beautiful and self-confident woman, go on vacation or to a club. Make new acquaintances, friends. Sign up for an interest club where many men go, and your good mood will become a signal for free men that you are ready to communicate and get to know each other.
The most important factor that will help protect you from married men will be the idea that such a relationship will only bring you painful emotional experiences due to the fact that you will be alone all the time, depriving yourself of the chance for a normal relationship with a man who belongs only to to you. If your man decides to link his fate with you and leaves his wife, you will be tormented by remorse that you have harmed a woman, and even more so children who are not to blame for anything before you. So better try to immediately become indifferent to a man who is married, no matter how he tells you about his bad wife. If he has serious feelings for you, in order not to hurt you, he will divorce his wife earlier and only then will he begin to care for you, as a real and responsible man should.
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Mistress of a married man: what to do when you love a ringed man
In we examined the options, because of which a woman agrees to the role of a married man's mistress. We will not judge and establish a love triangle: husband, wife, mistress - is it good or bad. Today we will consider the situation when a young lady has an insight, what is her real being. When the favorite of a married man begins to suffer from questions: “What awaits me tomorrow?”, “What to do now so that later it will not be excruciatingly painful?”, “What to do: break off relations with a beloved, but married man, or leave everything as it is and suffer?".
In a situation where we are incinerated by love for a married man, there can be no universal and only correct solution. The actions taken by women who have the status of a mistress are varied and contradictory. The main condition, whatever the decision, is that we must be morally calm and comfortable.
And I love a married man: what should I do?
Let's consider options on how to get out of the labyrinth of love for a married man, weigh the advantages and disadvantages of each project, so as not to flog a fever, but act like a Chekist, with a cold head and a warm heart.
Act 1
The main task in order to make the right decision: to bring the ringed guy to clean water. To understand what leads a married man and forces him to seek solace in love on the side. There are a lot of reasons for making a mistress, however, the most likely circumstances are:
Of the ten points listed, only the presence of the last two in a love triangle can become a happy gift of fate - the subsequent divorce of a ringed guy.
How can we unearth the whole truth? Let go of illusions and take a close look at what swamp we are in. Is our lover ready to get out of the quagmire or is he behaving like a devil in a swamp? However, playing the role of James Bond and spying on a married man is not at all an adornment of a self-respecting lady, even a mistress.
The easiest way is to ask a question about his plans directly in the eyes and evaluate the reaction of the married man. Or carefully observe a married man, because everything secret, sooner or later, becomes clear.
Act 2
We examine our moral state impartially. We explore which experiences we have more: positive or corrosive. Symptoms that indicate that it is time for us to take our feet in our hands and run away from a married man are incessant anxious sensations. For example:
If such thoughts turn into obsessions, then it is unlikely that further communication with a married man as a mistress will inspire and delight us.
The ideas of one's own guilt that strengthen in the subconscious mind are a direct path to depression and more dangerous pathological conditions. In order not to introduce yourself into deplorable melancholy, it is better to stop once and for all an unpromising relationship with a married man.
Act 3
If such worms do not corrode the soul, then the next step is to get rid of illusions. Accept the situation as it is now. Not trying to live in a future in which a married man leaves his family and becomes engaged in the bonds of Hymen to his current mistress.
Remember, if a ringed guy has been assuring us for six months that we are the best and only beloved, but at the same time he is in a hurry for a family dinner at exactly 7 o'clock, then he is unlikely to appreciate us as much as he says. If a married man at every meeting claims that tomorrow he will file for divorce, and this tomorrow has not come for six months, then he will never take such a step. A man lured by another person will never destroy his marriage when he claims that he will leave the family as soon as:
We are guided by the rule: it is better to know the bitter truth than to wallow in lies and hope for a chimerical miracle. Therefore, we do not think about the future, but begin to live in the present day.
Act 4
What to do when you love a married man and want him to be around more often? Stop competing with his wife and imitate this young lady, but remain yourself. Do not pressure, do not pursue, do not bully the guy. Do not act like a wife does: over-grooming, blowing off dust, demanding a financial report, finding out where he was. After all, in most cases, married people run away from this. Married men slip away from the family so as not to feel like a hunted animal who constantly owes something. They make mistresses in order to feel: he is free, desired and loved.
What to do to bind a married man? To remain that mysterious woman, with a unique and charming personality, with whom he began to have an affair.
Act 5
What to do if there are no ideas in the head at all, what to do, but some kind of uncertainty of desires gnaws? Loosen the iron grip and switch your gaze to some other male for a while. Look around. Surely males are scurrying around, even if not as “ideal” as the beloved married man.
It is not at all necessary to throw yourself headlong into a lyamour, but you can start a friendly relationship with a former classmate, colleague, neighbor or childhood friend. New contacts with optimistic people and a pleasant pastime will tear you out of the world of heart suffering and allow you to look at what is happening with a fresh look.
Act 6
What to do when your brains are filled with worries due to the hung state of your mistress? Psychologists advise clearing your mind from savoring the state of ambiguity with new beginnings and labor exploits. Troubles and uncertainty on the personal front often give a rapid impetus to building a career, developing creative talents, and creating global innovative projects.
If our spiritual crying for a married man haunts us and deprives us of strength, at the first stage we must act, despite our “I can’t” and in spite of everything. We need to overcome our unwillingness, actively and resolutely engage in self-development and self-education. But having moved to a higher stage of development, we will definitely have fresh ideas of what to do with our feelings for a married man.
Act 7
If we are already mired in the intrigues of heart affairs, the logical way out is to use the relationship with a married man to our advantage. No matter how wild and terrible the call to use a married man for one's own benefit may seem, there is nothing unusual and unnatural here. In fact, all of humanity uses one another. And our ringed chosen one also exploits us for some of his own purposes. Yes, and most of us, entering into a relationship with a married man, had certain selfish beliefs. It’s just that it’s not customary to speak frankly about this topic, but it’s more convenient to mask and hush it up.
Using a married man does not at all mean holding him by an inexhaustible bag of money, where, if necessary, you can stick your paw and pull out a larger bill. Although for some young ladies, communication with an unfree gentleman directly implies receiving a material fee for their services as a mistress.
We can use the betrothed master in different ways:
In principle, using a married man means getting what makes us feel needed, desired, loved by a woman.
Instead of an afterword
On the Internet, among the tips on what to do if you love a married man, parting words are hyped: to fight for your beloved guy. To humbly agree with the recommendation to go on the warpath is tantamount to humiliating one's human dignity.
If love is a genuine mutual and deep feeling, it must be protected, nurtured, cherished. If the connection between a married man and a mistress is based on some selfish motives, is based on the fears of one of the partners, or is a way of spending time, the logical question is: what to fight for? For a hustler who is looking for an option where it is more convenient and profitable? For a worn jacket, always looking for a new skirt? For an aging macho, worried about the fading of his manhood? Such options are not at all worth the effort required to fight.
Or does fighting for love, in the understanding of Internet advisers, mean entering into an unequal battle with your inferiority complex or pathological fears? That is, to fight with your feelings and emotions, as with sworn external enemies? However, to fight with manifestations of one's psyche is useless and harmful.
It is necessary to accept your individuality, transform your destructive thinking into a positive and useful model, develop your personality. Having studied and transformed your internal barriers to happiness and harmony, the question of what to do when you love a married man will disappear by itself.
The only true advice is to love your uniqueness and not allow anyone to deprive you of your inner integrity and spiritual harmony.
Read the first part:
Page 2 of 2
How to conquer the love for a married man?
There are many types of love, but they all have something in common that is typical for all loving and in love people: heart palpitations, the desire to always be close to the object of one's passion and do everything for a person to give him (or her) a piece of himself. However, love is often haunted by unpleasant moments. Do we always fall in love with those people who deserve it? Why is it that so often a wonderful feeling of love is accompanied by suffering on one side or the other?
The love of a married woman is a great thing! Not every married man managed to experience it.
The institution of marriage, as a rule, consolidates the relationship between loving people and makes them legal. As a rule, since there are situations when people in marriage are kept not at all by love, but by other, often selfish interests. Why, for example, does a woman fall in love with a married man? What pushes her into such a difficult relationship and how to behave with dignity in this difficult situation?
There are several common reasons why women get intimate with married men.
Most often, the cause of adultery lies in the psychology of a woman, in her inability to correctly and properly evaluate herself as a mature person. Very often this is a young girl who strives for love, and it doesn’t matter to her whether a man is married or free. She has not yet known the mistakes and disappointments that are so often constant companions of strong passion. She sees him, so strong, self-confident, capable of solving all her problems and assuring her of his endless love and loyalty. The first thing she sees is not his stamp in the passport at all, but his attitude: care, a manifestation of seemingly sincere interest and attention. A man, as a rule, at first tries to hide the fact that he is married. It is very convenient for him that his wife, albeit not so beloved (although not always), is waiting at home, and now there is a woman nearby who sincerely admires him and does not make unnecessary remarks.
Among other things, a man to some extent controls her behavior, using a woman's love, and she becomes dependent on him.
Another reason for some women to have relationships with married men is to seek and pursue thrills. There is a type of women who have in their blood the desire to beat off other people's men on their own whim. They are excited by the very risk of being constantly on the edge of a knife, and they experience real excitement from such a hunt. However, this situation is not at all typical - although such women do occur, they are not as common as they are shown in numerous TV shows. In addition, they do not want to stop such intrigues at all, since they like it and make up a fairly significant part of their existence.
It is interesting to look at what are the pros and cons of love for a married man. Let's start with the pros, since there are not so many of them, although for some women this is enough.
As already mentioned, a woman in love is blind - at first she does not see any obstacles due to the fact that her chosen one is married. Such a man, as a rule, gives her his love, gifts and compliments. He is gallant, courteous, which, of course, is pleasant for any lady. In addition, in such a relationship, both participants in adultery simply by definition cannot demand from each other a long and serious continuation of their relationship with all the ensuing problems and obligations. This is a kind of free love, and it will only get worse for everyone if suddenly someone, either a married man or a woman, tries at some point to give legal status to this relationship. However, this can be both a minus and a plus of a relationship with a married man - depending on which side to approach the problem.
The disadvantages of such relations, as practice very eloquently shows, abound. There are many more of them than pluses, which gives reason to write this article.
So, what is a woman to do who has managed to fall in love with a married man? How to get rid of such relationships and start a new life, more free and worthy?
Once in such a situation, you simply have to look around and make sure that not the whole world has converged on your married friend. After all, there is still a fair amount of free, unmarried men who just sleep and see in a dream how they would get to know a woman like you. Pay attention to those men who work with you in the same office, with whom you often come across at work, to your acquaintances or to acquaintances of your acquaintances. Do not rush to extremes and do not get acquainted with just anyone, but there are probably a sufficient number of single and beautiful men around you who are quite worthy of your attention - they are waiting for this!
Another tip is to love yourself the way you deserve. Very often, women choose married men as close friends precisely because of a lack of self-love, so they are content with the dubious role of a mistress without any chance to change the situation in the direction they want. Such relationships, as a rule, humiliate a woman, and only a lack of self-love allows her to put up with this order of things. Finally love yourself, and then the person who truly deserves you will love you! Pamper yourself, take care of yourself, go to fun parties more often, flirt with free interesting men (within reason, of course).
In order to quickly conquer your love for a married man, we also advise you to find yourself an interesting hobby, an activity that you like, which can distract you from gloomy thoughts and breathe new life into your leisure time. Stop counting the hours and minutes before meeting him, let your free time (which you need to cherish!) Flow more meaningfully and with tangible benefits. There are so many amazing things and activities in the world - the whole world is at your feet! Doing something interesting will give you the opportunity to expand your social circle, which in turn will help you get rid of the vicious dependence on a relationship with a married man. You can finally immerse yourself in work and reach career heights - you will significantly increase your self-esteem, and you will also be respected more.
Try to find fault with your married friend. Is he as perfect as you think? Look more closely, maybe he snores at night, or he has manifestations of aggression. Is he as smart as you would like? What has he achieved in life and is it worth spending your precious time on him at all? After all, he is deceiving his wife, one of the people closest to him, so where is the guarantee that he will not do the same to you? Do you need it?
If you really want to get out of a relationship with a married man, be firm. Of course, this cannot be done quickly and immediately. You must demonstrate your firmness to yourself and to him. If you realize the futility of such a relationship, be determined to dot the i's. You have a whole life ahead of you, and you don’t need to waste your spiritual strength on trifles and on people unworthy of you. You deserve more and better!
A woman wants everything - from one, a man - one from all.
It is more difficult if a girl meets a married man, hopes for a serious relationship, loves him, but this love brings her suffering. "... I'm a little over 20 years old. The person I love is older than me and married. We had a great relationship that lasted about a year. I lived in the hope that he would divorce and marry me. But today he said me that, despite very strong feelings, he can no longer meet with me. I can’t imagine how to live without him. What should I do? Help ... "
The situation is quite typical, although there are many nuances. Typically, in most cases, the relationship with a married man ends in this way. And, despite the fact that the problem is as old as the world, tears flow like a river. And this means that there is a need to recall what it means to "love a married man."
Entering into a close relationship with a married man, a girl must understand that this relationship will almost always be based on lies. And if you, as a free woman, have a need to talk about your loved one, about the time spent together, to visit friends, then your partner will hide it in every possible way. Places for dates will be in the darkest and most remote cafes in order to exclude meeting with familiar people and protect the family from trouble. What time these meetings will be, how long, he will also decide, and you just have to wait until he can deceive his wife and give you a few hours. You should also be prepared for the fact that almost all weekends and holidays will be spent alone, as he will be busy with his family. And if this does not suit you, then it is better not to sort things out, otherwise you can hear a lot of unpleasant things. You knew that he had a wife, children and what you could count on. Nothing more to offer you yet he can not. The plans of your chosen one do not include anything radically changed. Changes may be, but minor. In your duet, he plays the first violin. This situation must be accepted and reconciled, realizing that such is the fate of a mistress, and not suffering from unfulfilled expectations. Or, if you can’t come to terms, it’s better to part with this person.
The moment of making a decision can be difficult. Think about the fact that when you steal time, you steal it, first of all, from yourself. Instead of looking at the world through the eyes of a free woman, you don't consider yourself free. You have a loved one, you have hope for a happy ending, you are waiting. But, if during the year he still talks about his ailing wife and children, then there will definitely not be a happy end. This year, one might say, was in vain.
And yet, as a rule, at a young age, insecure girls meet with married men, with low self-esteem, who allow themselves to be used. It happens that such relationships drag on for many years.
"... I met a married man for more than 10 years, I was waiting for him to divorce his wife and marry me. But some difficult circumstances constantly arose, cases occurred, there were problems that he needed to solve, and I could only wait. And now I'm already quite a few years old, youth and the best years of my life are in the past, finally I realized that I had nothing to look forward to. I just ruined my life..." Everyone wants to be happy, love and be loved. This is a natural human need. We wish you to experience great and bright feelings in your life, so that you can be proud of them, and not hide them from others. Respect yourself as a person, value your time, do not allow yourself to be manipulated so that you do not regret anything later.
The emergence of love is impossible to predict, and even more so to force yourself to fall in love or stop loving a person. This emotional state is generally not given a rational explanation and it is very difficult to manage. Absolutely any man can become the object of love, whether he is married or not, is in a relationship or is absolutely free. That is why love can bring both a feeling of happiness and a feeling of bitter disappointment. The most inappropriate object for love can be a man who is married. It is best to protect yourself from such relationships in every possible way, even hurting yourself. The result of loving a married man can most likely be only your broken heart, wounded pride, a complete decrease in self-esteem and self-love.
Reasons for loving a married man
To cope with absolutely any problem, first of all, you need to find its cause, why this situation could happen to you at all. You can cope with such an inopportunely flashed feeling of love simply by understanding what you liked about this particular man, looking for reasons somewhere deep in yourself. It can be an acute feeling of loneliness, female unfulfillment, low self-esteem, a desire for affection, attention and love. If you honestly admit to yourself that you were just terribly lonely and lacked male affection, you will understand that you are not driven by a real feeling of love, but simply by a desire to solve your psychological problems. But do not forget that a man who belongs not only to you cannot give that kindness, attention and care that you deserve. Therefore, you should not exchange for a man who does not appreciate you, but simply look for a man who can give you all his love in its entirety. Moreover, now there are no big problems to find advice on how and where it is best to meet your love.
The main thing is just to want to solve this problem, and you yourself will be surprised how all your strong love will disappear somewhere by itself. It will not be superfluous to use techniques that help raise your self-esteem and love yourself. As unpleasant as it may be, but the presence of a married man in your life is a sign of low self-esteem, a deeply rooted opinion that you are unworthy of other relationships and a man who will belong only to you. Even if you are convinced that you are doing well with self-esteem, it will not be superfluous to once again remember about self-love and strengthen it.
How to deal with falling in love
Very often in such a relationship, you yourself are in no hurry to give free rein to your feelings and plunge into them, as if into a pool with your head. You understand that you should not rush, and do not even make any plans for the future with him, but, unfortunately, over time, as you communicate more and more with a married man, you quietly begin to fall in love with him, your sympathy develops into a deeper feeling, no matter how you feel about it yourself. Therefore, the best option, but not the easiest, would be a break in relations, abrupt and unexpected.
To soften the gap for yourself, work on yourself psychologically and go to a club with a friend. To cope with the feeling of love for your lover, remember that he constantly cheats on you and does not even hide it. He is never near you during the holidays that he celebrates with his family. Thus, he constantly offends you and does not spare your pride, does not appreciate your attitude and love, neglects your company in order to spend time with another woman. There are no concepts in love, it is my first and more important, because my wife. Only two people are important here, and there is no place for a third.
You need to put him before a choice, either you or she, and calmly let go of a person who does not respect you, does not love, does not protect and does not choose. You absolutely do not need a man who prefers your beautiful society to that of another woman. Learn to love, respect and appreciate yourself, and then these unhealthy relationships will become a thing of the past, making room for true and caring love based on mutual respect.
In order to not have a feeling of falling in love with a person who is married at all, work on your psychological protection. You need, as soon as you feel the interest of a married man in yourself, always remember that you are worthy of respect, and this is not your last chance. And it will not be very pleasant when a man comes to you after another woman, and again goes to her. Before you reciprocate a married man, think about how your relationship will develop further. You will finally feel tenderness and care from a man and begin to give him the same in return. But over time, you will begin to feel that you do not have enough time that he can devote to you. You cannot call him, you do not enter the circle of his friends, hiding from everyone. If his wife finds out about you, then her reaction may not always be adequate. Sooner or later, the wife will put a choice before her husband, or even take active steps to return him to the family, becoming again the woman whom he once proposed to marry him, with whom he has so much in common. Nothing connects you except for frivolous relationships, and you will find yourself abandoned, with a broken heart, condemned by everyone, and even worse, they will begin to feel sorry for you or gloat behind your back. Therefore, before you start, think about why you need these troubles when you can meet a man who will be faithful to you and love only you, without exchanging for others.
Do not forget to remember that you will simply be annoyed in a relationship with a man who is busy. No matter how different men are, all married people behave in exactly the same way, and at their core, they are just traitors. Remember all the unpleasant features of a married man who is trying to achieve reciprocity from you. This will help to immediately cool your feeling for him, and will provide an opportunity to look at him from the side. At the same time, remember all your virtues, and try to remember them as often as possible. Such a discrepancy in his attitude towards a loved one with yours will make such an unfortunate man an absolutely unpromising option for you. Try to remember this all the time, and then you simply do not threaten to fall in love with such a loser who cannot decide on his feelings.
How to quickly get rid of falling in love with a married man
A good way to get rid of any crush will be your full load of other things. They simply will not leave you time to think about a married man and pay attention to his advances. Your immersion in work affairs, taking care of yourself, your favorite things and hobbies, will very soon let him understand that you are not an easily accessible woman who lacks the love of men, but a self-sufficient woman who is not going to endure humiliation and share her man with another.
Give yourself enough time, pamper yourself, go to a beauty salon, sign up for dances, change your wardrobe. All these pleasant worries will improve your mood and make you smile on your face. Here is such a beautiful and self-confident woman, go on vacation or to a club. Make new acquaintances, friends. Sign up for an interest club where many men go, and your good mood will become a signal for free men that you are ready to communicate and get to know each other.
The most important factor that will help protect you from married men will be the idea that such a relationship will only bring you painful emotional experiences due to the fact that you will be alone all the time, depriving yourself of the chance for a normal relationship with a man who belongs only to to you. If your man decides to link his fate with you and leaves his wife, you will be tormented by remorse that you have harmed a woman, and even more so children who are not to blame for anything before you. So better try to immediately become indifferent to a man who is married, no matter how he tells you about his bad wife. If he has serious feelings for you, in order not to hurt you, he will divorce his wife earlier and only then will he begin to care for you, as a real and responsible man should.
Hello Ludmila.
I will send you one article here, it will help answer some of your questions, including the answer to the question about the opinion of a psychologist.
About lovers and mistresses, or eternal volunteers of the love front.
How many times have they told the world that it is not necessary to get involved with married people. It's like an unwritten law. Or an unspoken one. But, I so want to believe that this law is not for everyone and you can become an exception. Yes, and there is no document where some rules on this topic and "penalties" would be spelled out. And since it is not written down anywhere, then it is possible. You can love a married man. Or if you really want to, you can. And after, as they say, at least a “flood”.
Wives treat their mistresses with some contempt and arrogance. Mistresses want to become wives. They want to take someone else's place. And they don't want to look for their own. With girlfriends, mistresses are talking something like “He, of course, does not love her. And they haven't had sex for a hundred years. But, you know, I can't destroy someone else's family."
When I hear something like that, it just spins on my tongue, to add for my mistress, “And I would like to…”. But I understand that we are talking about different things. She is talking about her "nobility" and "generosity" to this unfortunate woman, whom her "husband does not love." And about the fact that she sincerely believes that she is better and she has such great power in her hands to destroy someone's family. And I, from “my belfry” of a psychologist, am touched and sarcastic a little over this sweet illusion of a mistress that she can do anything if she wants to. Only while here for some reason does not want to. Okay, sarcasm aside. Let's be serious and mature. So these conversations of lovers are classics of the genre. Almost all mistresses say and think so. This is a template. This stereotype. This is some external image. Fantik. There is also stuffing. Put the wrapper aside for now
In fairness, it must be said that mistresses really are great smart-beauties. And they do a lot of things for someone else's husband. They try. Are invested. Selflessness is shown. And patience. On weekends and holidays, they somehow get out. And they still remain faithful. In general, almost like wives and even "better" than they are. Informally. But in fact, it’s still like that in mistresses for years and go. Because such a role as a mistress was not created in order to “marry her”, but in order to strengthen, fasten and cement.
In Soviet times, there was still such a vulgar saying among the people: “a good leftist strengthens marriage.” This is the case. In this saying, only there was no addition that families have different strengtheners. Some families lack positive reinforcements, such as having another child, or a common cause, shared property, friends, traveling together, and so on. Then the mistress, as a strengthener of marriage, will come down. Or what a long-standing resentment between the spouses is. So they might have been divorced a long time ago. And the family had a mistress. Yes, yes, I did not make a reservation. That's right, the family. And you can continue to live. And don't get divorced. And everyone is fine. By the way, at first glance, deceived wives really act as victims, but their contribution to the appearance of a third in a pair is the same as that of men. But not about wives this time.
In short, I consider mistresses to be holy women. Altruists, which are few and still need to be looked for in our time. Arguments? A lot of them. But I won't bother you. I will name just two.
The first. In most cases, when there is a mistress, it is great to support the functioning of the family. Some families simply do not have enough energy. A mistress is like an additional power plant, with a power source. In many families, as long as there is a mistress, second and third children are born, and houses are built, and cars regularly change from the wife-husband and other blessings pour from the sky. At the same time, there may be stormy scenes of jealousy, facts of betrayal may be revealed, a traitor may seem to be walking back and forth, but everything that concerns the material, it is quite clear, as a rule, remains in one place. In family.
Second. According to karmic laws, the mistress takes upon herself all the gynecological diseases of the wife's kind. It's like it's taking over. Probably not by choice. But that's how it works out in the end. And what about the wife, she has money, and children, and health. And after that, who will turn his tongue to scold his mistresses? They are just Miss Unselfishness, maybe they themselves, without understanding a lot. Therefore, I will join the stereotyped conversation: “Well, I can’t destroy someone else’s family.” Of course, you cannot, since your function, no matter how paradoxical it may sound, is creative. But, unfortunately, not for myself. This place makes me very sad.
Evgenia Kislitsyna, psychologist in Almaty
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