Bear in a burning car. About the old bear joke

A bear is walking through the forest. He sees the car is on fire. Sat in it and burned. (The basis, and then - its development and transformation)

1. Three bears are walking through the forest: father-bear, mother-bear and son-bear. Son-bear always lags behind. Papa Bear says to him: “Keep up, otherwise all the burning cars will be occupied!”


2. Two bears are walking through the forest. They see the car is on fire. While they were arguing and deciding which of them would get into it, the car went out ...


3. A bear is walking through the forest. He sees - a tank, an electric locomotive, an airplane, a yacht and a shuttle are on fire. "Where's the car?" - the bear was surprised.


4. A bear is walking through the forest. He sees a burned-out car. "Something's wrong here!" thought the bear.


5. Fire in the forest; all the animals in a panic flee from the fire. The bear asks: "Guys, what's the matter?". They answer him: “The car is on fire!”. "The car?!" - the bear could not believe his ears, went to her, sat in her, burned down.


6. A mother-bear and a child-bear are walking through the forest. They see the car is on fire. The baby bear rushes towards her, and the mother bear stops him: “Wait, let the father bear burn out!”


7. A bear is walking through hell. He sees - there are a lot of cars, and not one is not on fire. He meets another bear and says: “Can I set fire to at least one car?”. The second bear replies: “It would be possible - it would be paradise!”


8. A bear is walking in the desert. Tired terribly, terribly thirsty. The bear says: “So tired that you can die!” Then a shovel falls on top of him: “Dig!” The bear dug and dug and dug up the burning car. Sat in it and burned.


9. A bear is walking through the forest. He sees - "Zhiguli" are burning. Sat in them, but did not burn out. The bear says: "No, it's not a car."


10. A bear is walking through the forest. He sees a telephone booth. I called an ambulance: "Come urgently, then the teddy bear got sick." The ambulance arrived, the bear got into it, and the whole ambulance burned down.


11. A bear is walking through the forest. He sees two cars on fire. While I was thinking in which one to burn, two more bears came up, each got into a car and burned down.


12. The bear came to the dealership. He asks: “Well, which of your cars burns best?”


13. A wolf is walking through the forest. Suddenly, a crowd of bears runs towards them. "What? What happened?" - asks the wolf. The bears answer him: “There is a fire in the parking lot !!”


14. A bear is walking through the forest. He sees - a number of cars are standing, and some have already burned down, others are on fire, and still others are about to catch fire. The bear goes to one of the cars, but several more bears stand nearby and tell him: “Wait! Queue!"


15. A bear is walking across the field. He sees the tractor is on fire. The bear pushed the tractor into the forest, got into it and burned down.


16. A bear is walking through the forest. He sees the car is on fire. The bear is going to sit in it, and there the bear sits and says: “Get in, we’ll not only burn, but also have sex!”


17. A bear is walking through the forest. Sees - the motorcycle is on fire. Sat on him and put out his ass ...


18. A bear is walking across the bridge. He sees - the car on the bridge is on fire. He gets into it, and the bridge under the car collapses, it falls into the river and goes out. "Not fate" - thought the bear.


19. The bear stole a car, put his mother-in-law next to the house in the forest and set it on fire. Then he went to his mother-in-law and said: “Look out the window.” The mother-in-law looked out the window: “The car is on fire!” Sat in it and burned.


20. Papa-bear and child-bear are walking through the forest. They see the car is on fire. The child-bear rushes to her, and the father-bear stops him: “Where are you in the hell ahead of the father!” Papa Bear got into the car and burned down.


21. A bear walks through the woods in the evening, drunk as a fool; sings this song: “Evening burning car in the native forest! How many thoughts she suggests!


22. A bear came to the fire department (angry as hell). He asks: “Who extinguished my burning car and put it out?”


23. The rabbit's car broke down. A bear walks past: "Help?". "Yes, if it's not difficult." "What's so difficult about that?" - said the bear, set fire to the car, got into it and burned down.


24. A car is driving down the highway and it's on fire. Traffic cops stop her, and inside is a bear. Traffic cops ask: "Bear, what are you doing?". The bear replies: “What? I'm burning! Can't you see it?"


25. A car with the number 666 is driving along the highway. It is stopped by a traffic cop, and inside - a bear. The traffic cop asks: “Why do you have such a number?”. The bear replies: "Especially for you!" Traffic cop: How is it? Bear: "Sit down, you'll find out!" The traffic cop got into the car, and it caught fire, and the bear, along with the traffic cop, burned down.


26. A car with the number 777 is driving along the highway. It is stopped by a traffic cop, and inside - a bear. The traffic cop asks: “Why do you have such a number?”. The bear replies, "It's a lucky number! Today is a good day to burn in the car!” Then the car caught fire, and the bear, along with the traffic cop, burned down.


27. There is a wolf on the highway and votes, catches the car. One stops, and there is a bear. The wolf says to him: "No, bear, go on, I'll wait for the next car." The bear answers him: “There will be no next one for you!”. He stuffed the wolf into the car and drove on. And soon the car caught fire, and the bear and the wolf burned down.


28. A bear and a wolf are walking through the forest. They see the car is on fire. The wolf says: “Where is the phone? We need to call the fire department immediately!" The bear replies: "And don't think about it." Got in the car and burned out.


29. A bear is walking through the forest. He sees the toilet is on fire. The bear says: “Why do I need a burning toilet? I'm going to look for the burning car."


30. A bear is walking down the street. He sees the fire engine is on fire. The bear says: “Ha ha! They saved others, but they cannot save themselves!” Got in the car and burned out.


31. A bear is walking through the forest. Feels - smacks of smoke. Goes on. Hear - the light crackles. Full of hope, he goes further, and there - the wolves roast the elk on the fire. "That's so obolom!" - upset bear.


32. Four bears are walking through the forest: father-bear, mother-bear, son-bear and daughter-bear. They see the bus is on fire. Papa Bear says, “Great! Enough room for everyone!" They all sat in it together and burned.


33. A bear is walking around the university. Sees - dissertation council. A bear enters it and says: “I want to defend my doctoral dissertation on the topic “Burning Bears and Physics of Ultrahigh Temperatures.” They answer him: “Yes, even tomorrow!” The next day, a bear drove into the university in a burning car, and the university burned down (as did the bear with the car).


34. At the edge of the forest, the animals opened a sculptural monument: "Eternal flame in a car with an ever-burning bear."


35. Two bears are walking through the forest - an old one and a young one. They see the car is on fire. The old bear says: "Here, learn how to do it while I'm alive!" He got into the car and burned out (and the young one went on).


36. An elk is walking through the forest. He sees - the car is on fire, and inside the bear is sitting and also on fire. I called the firemen: “Come urgently, the car is on fire here, and there is a bear inside!” They answer him: “Remember! If the bear in the car is on fire, then it can no longer be put out! Get your feet up before you burn yourself." The elk was frightened and ran away, and the bear burned down in the car.


37. A bear walks through the landfill. He sees - the car is standing, but does not burn. The bear says: “What kind of things are these?”, And suddenly he hears the answer: “So it’s not for nothing that they threw her into a landfill!”


38. A bear is walking down the street. He sees - the car service caught fire. The bear yells: “Hurrah-ah-ah!!”. They ask him: “Well, why are you yelling ??”, And he replies: “The wife gave birth !!”


39. A bear is walking down the street. He sees - firefighters extinguish a burning car. The bear yelled: “Oh, you ugly pranksters! What are you doing??” He approached the car, scattered the firemen, got into the car and burned down.


40. The bear came out of the forest and went along the road. He sees - the presidential cortege is coming. The bear stops him and says: “My political convictions do not allow me to be inactive!” Then the presidential car caught fire, a bear got into it and burned down together with the president.


41. The bear votes on the highway, catches the car. Of course, everyone knows what this can lead to, and no one stops. The bear laments: “Oh, no kindness in people! But I won’t burn out, I need pancakes for my mother-in-law!”


42. A bear walks through the forest, collecting cones. He sees - one bump is on fire, a little further away - another, then a third, and so on. The bear went over the burning cones. He sees - a car is made of cones and burns. A bear got into it, and did not burn out, because it was a dummy car, not a real car.


43. A bear is walking through the forest. He sees a forest fire. "Spit!" - says the bear, and calmly passes through the fire. He goes further through the forest. Sees - fiery river. "Spit!" - says the bear, and calmly fords the river. He goes further through the forest. He sees - animals jump over the fire; and they can’t jump over in any way - the hare burned down, the wolf burned down, the fox burned down. "Spit!" - says the bear, and calmly jumps over the fire. He goes further through the forest. He sees the car is on fire. "But don't give a damn!" - says the bear, got into the car and burned down.


44. A bear is walking through the forest. He sees the car is on fire. He is about to get into it, but then a wolf drives by on a skating rink, demolishes the car and completely destroys it. The bear caught up with the wolf, tore it apart and broke the skating rink, but the burning car still cannot be returned, and the bear was very, very upset.


45. (“About how Putin defeated the bear”). A bear is walking along the Kremlin. He sees - Putin is standing. The bear says: “Come on, give me the presidential chair, otherwise I will tear you apart!” Putin says: “Yes, I’ll soak you in the toilet now!” Bear: "Nothing will work for you!" Putin: "Let's try!" Bear: "Yes, as much as you like!" And went to the toilet; came in - and there the car is on fire. The bear immediately got into the car and burned down. So Putin defeated the bear.


46. A bear rides a bicycle. He sees - a swan, a crayfish and a pike are pulling the car somewhere. The bear says: “Shall we swing without looking?” They answer him: "Come on!" The swan, the crayfish and the pike began to pull the bicycle, and the bear left in a car, drove to the forest, set it on fire, got into it and burned down.


47. The bear has a birthday. The animals, to please him, drove him a burning car. The bear got into the car and burned down on his birthday. This is said to explain the death of William Shakespeare on his birthday; Shakespeare was a bear.


48. A bear is walking through the forest. He sees a telephone booth. I called the taxi: “Hello, taxi? The bear speaks. Do you understand what I need? They answer: “We understand! We send you a VIP-class taxi. Burn in comfort! The bear says: "Great!" The end is a little predictable.


49. A bear rides in a car across the steppe. Suddenly the sky darkens and a thunderstorm begins. The bear thinks like this: “Now I’ll get out of the car, and lightning will strike it, it will light up, and then ha ha!!”. He stopped and got out of the car, and the lightning hit him, not the car. But nothing happened to the bear, because the bear only dies when it burns in the car. Haha!

Answer from...my name is Vovka...[guru]

“A bear is walking through the forest, he sees that the car is on fire. He got into it and burned down ”- this anecdote, probably, has been heard by everyone. Sometimes the narrator also adds "The End" or "Shovel", if the listener's face is already very bewildered. However, no one has taken it for a long time to explain what the joke is, although such questions arise constantly. It is believed that this anecdote is especially attractive precisely because of its meaninglessness. But, unlike other "abstract" or "addict" jokes, it enjoys unprecedented popularity: it has many variations, it is drawn on T-shirts, it is used as a universal commentary, etc.

A man got on a transfer to Trachtenberg and nothing smarter came to his head except for a bearded and stupid anecdote about the Bear, who was walking through the forest, saw a burning car, got into it and burned down. The man starts:
- Nuu... all in all.. . a bear was walking through the forest, saw a burning car...
Trachtenberg:
- Sat in it and burned down!
And then a mad thought breaks through the peasant and he says:
- Nah! He went on! He walked and walked and saw a healthy burning truck ...
Trachtenberg:
- Well, got into it and burned down? - Trachtenberg looks a bit confused.
Man:
- Nah!! ! He went further, which means he went to the take-off field, and on this field he saw a burning plane ...
Trachtenberg, unable to stand:
- NUUU? Sat in it and burned out??! !
The man, with a sense of accomplishment, finishes:
- Nah! He fucking turned around, went to the first car, got into it and burned down! !
....

An arctic bear (this is important, an arctic one!) was walking along the Arctic Circle. Suddenly he sees - the car is littered with snow. Well, he got into it and froze.

There is a car in the forest at the edge,
Gasoline leaks from a punctured tank
Burning out in the trunk of an old tire,
In the cabin, a corpse is roasting alone.
This corpse of a suicidal bear
That I decided to get even with life at a time,
Walking through the woods listening to the song of a bird
Decided to do it here and now.
Suddenly, as if hearing his thoughts,
A bright fire flared up at the edge.
Here the skin is smoking, here the skin is burning,
The bear does not blame anyone for the death.

A bear was walking through the forest, he sees - the car is on fire. I just wanted to get into it, and there is already another bear on fire.

A bear was walking through the forest, he sees that the car is on fire, he climbed into it and put it out.

A bear was walking through the forest, he sees a stone, and there is an inscription on it: if you go to the left, you will burn in the car, if you go to the right, you will burn in the car, if you go straight, you will burn in the car. The bear went to the right, he sees - the car is on fire. Got in the car and burned out.

The bear was walking through the forest. He sees the car is on fire. And he went further, because animals are not able to realize such complex phenomena.

Yesterday investigators found a burnt-out skeleton of a KIA car in Bitsevsky Park. In the back of the car was the corpse of a large mammal, presumably a bear.

The car was on fire in the forest. Inexplicably, she attracted animals.

A bear is walking through the forest, he sees a car on fire, he got into it and burned down, a deer passed by, he saw a bear on fire, he went to save him and also burned down ... A bunny runs, sees such a picture, climbed into the back seat because the deer was in the front and burned down, damn it

“A bear is walking through the forest, he sees that the car is on fire. He got into it and burned down ”- this anecdote, probably, has been heard by everyone. Sometimes the narrator also adds "The End" or "Shovel" if the listener's face is already very bewildered. However, no one has taken it for a long time to explain what the joke is, although such questions arise constantly. It is believed that this anecdote is especially attractive precisely because of its meaninglessness. But, unlike other "abstract" or "addict" jokes, it enjoys unprecedented popularity: it has many variations, it is drawn on T-shirts, it is used as a universal commentary, etc.
Burn, burn, you are my bear
BEAR ACTION PLAN

A man got on a transfer to Trachtenberg and nothing smarter came to his head except for a bearded and stupid anecdote about the Bear, who was walking through the forest, saw a burning car, got into it and burned down. The man starts:
. Well... in general... a bear was walking through the forest, saw a burning car...
Trachtenberg:
. Sat in it and burned!
And then a mad thought breaks through the peasant and he says:
. Nah! He went on! He walked and walked and saw a healthy burning truck ...
Trachtenberg:
. Well, got into it and burned out? Trachtenberg looks a little confused.
Man:
. Nah!!! He went further, which means he went to the take-off field, and on this field he saw a burning plane ...
Trachtenberg, unable to stand:
. NUUU? Sat in it and burned out??!!!
The man, with a sense of accomplishment, finishes:
. Nah! He, Mlyn, turned around, reached the first car, got into it and burned down !!

An arctic bear (this is important, an arctic one!) was walking along the Arctic Circle. Suddenly he sees - the car is littered with snow. Well, he got into it and froze.
rhyme
There is a car in the forest at the edge,
Gasoline leaks from a punctured tank
Burning out in the trunk of an old tire,
In the cabin, a corpse is roasting alone.
This corpse of a suicidal bear
That I decided to get even with life at a time,
Walking through the woods listening to the song of a bird
Decided to do it here and now.
Suddenly, as if hearing his thoughts,
A bright fire flared up at the edge.
Here the skin is smoking, here the skin is burning,
The bear does not blame anyone for the death.

A bear was walking through the forest, he sees - the car is on fire. I just wanted to get into it, and there is already another bear on fire.

A bear was walking through the forest, he sees that the car is on fire, he climbed into it and put it out.

A bear was walking through the forest, he sees a stone, and there is an inscription on it: if you go to the left, you will burn in the car, if you go to the right, you will burn in the car, if you go straight, you will burn in the car. The bear went to the right, he sees - the car is on fire. Got in the car and burned out.

The bear was walking through the forest. He sees the car is on fire. And he went further, because animals are not able to realize such complex phenomena.

Yesterday investigators found a burnt-out skeleton of a KIA car in Bitsevsky Park. In the back of the car was the corpse of a large mammal, presumably a bear.

The car was on fire in the forest. Inexplicably, she attracted animals.

A bear is walking through the forest, he sees a car on fire, he got into it and burned down, a deer passed by, he saw a bear on fire, he went to save him and also burned down ... A bunny runs, sees such a picture, climbed into the back seat because the deer was in the front and burned down , hell

The bear was walking through the forest when he suddenly saw a burning car. Suddenly he was suddenly drawn to this radiant heat, to this miniature technogenic apocalypse. He roared, stood up on his hind legs and rushed to the smoking car. Tearing off the rear door, he squeezed into the salon; the hellish heat caused not so much pain as pleasure. Now he understood why the moths so frantically rushed towards the destructive light, and the lemmings marched to their death in orderly ranks. He understood.

Went Winnie the Pooh and Piglet for honey. We came to a big tree. Winnie the Pooh says: "Piglet, I'll go upstairs on the balloon, and you run home for a gun and if anything, shoot the balloon." Piglet ran home, grabbed a gun, but when he returned to the clearing, Winnie the Pooh was nowhere to be found. There was a burning car in the clearing, in which a bear cub was burning, twitching in its death throes. Trying to hold back the sobs that burst from his chest, Piglet took aim and with one shot interrupted his suffering.

The bear was walking through the forest. He sees the car is on fire. He was about to rush towards her when he suddenly saw the corpse of his brother in the back seat. "Something's wrong here," thought the brown one.

The bear saw a car burning in the forest. He got into it, but the flames died out before reaching the gas tank. The bear roared awkwardly, and, knowing that the flame would not flare up again, wandered back to the lair.

Nuclear war destroyed not only all mankind, but left no chance of survival for the entire biosphere. The ruins of cities towered silently over the desert plains, which now and then poured radioactive rains. Desperate to find his relatives, the last surviving bear wandered through the forest among the burning trees. Sometimes he stopped to emit a piercing roar full of anguish and pain, in which he heard a reproach to the entire human race for what they had done to the earth. There was no hope. He was the last of his kind. Suddenly, the bear saw a burning car - God knows how it ended up in the middle of the forest. The bear was staring at the car, firelight dancing in his eyes. He knew what to do.

The bear woke up after a long winter hibernation. He crawled out of the lair, pulling stiff limbs. The impulse reached his little brain and the bear felt that he was hungry. Deadly hungry. At the same time, his nostrils caught a strange mixture of smells of combustion products. From the whole bunch of stench: burning rubber, acrylic paint, PVC, plastic, leather upholstery; he recognized one. The only, unique - the smell of fried meat. Reflexes worked instantly, he rushed breaking young shoots and unprotected forest animals on the way. Finally, the half-thawed soil of the mixed forest ended and he saw. It was something, the bear couldn't figure out what it was, but he knew exactly what his lunch was there, inside that flaming structure. With a powerful blow, he tore off the door and rushed inside. The food was in the driver's seat, but due to the damaged body, he was unable to get it out. I had to take the next passenger seat. Growling contentedly, the bear began to eat, devouring the burnt clothes along with the burnt meat. But this meat was the most delicious of what he had tasted in his life. Suddenly, he felt the sting of flames. His skin took over. The bear roared, but the food was so delicious, he could not just leave his prey. And then the realization came to him. The realization that the moment that he had been striving for all his life was coming. He was in euphoria, he was seized by a fever, he was on fire.

"Mom, tell me, are there cars?"
The second bear cub asked, falling asleep.
Mother cried, father clenched his fists...
Bears, alas, the end is inevitable.

Evil fate prepares a trap for a wild beast.
In the kingdom of Hades, he is destined to descend young.
In a fiery chariot he will find death today.
All because yesterday our Thunderer got drunk
So that he was not even allowed to the threshold of Olympus.

He woke up in his lair and felt weak and apathetic, he could no longer do it, every novelty became boring, such is the essence, such is life. He slowly wandered along the familiar path, thinking about the upcoming conversation, he understood that she would not be happy about this, but he could no longer do something with himself. And so he went out to a clearing in the forest and saw her, his wife, a driving Mercedes. - Steven. She exclaimed when she saw him. - Hey Shelly. he replied - I've been waiting for you all day where have you been? She said with excitement in a fiery engine - We need to talk seriously. The brown one grumbled. - Steven are you leaving me? the burning car was horrified. But why Steven? - I can’t do this anymore, the spark has died out in our relationship. The bear said and left - I'll take care of the children. Shelley murmured and tears flowed down her headlights...

under cherry blossoms
In the midst of a pile of iron, the bear burns out
Spring has come...

Tires rustled along the dark road. A beige Volvo rolled along a small road, a narrow thread in the dark bulk of the forest. John chewed his lip nervously. - It's all your fault, Shelley. The wife flinched at the mention of her name. - He's your son, you should have looked after him. - John, but... I didn't know... she seemed such a sweet girl. John slammed his hands on the steering wheel in rage. All these little sluts who just want to suck more money out of young guys! With trembling hands, John opened the glove box and fumbled for a lighter. I was crazy about smoking. Suddenly Shelly screamed. John glanced sharply at the road - a dark shadow darted towards them from the forest! John Fording did not even have time to turn the steering wheel - a huge grizzly bear, attracted by the flame of a lighter, pierced the windshield with itself and dented a man into the seat. The impact spun the car around, turned it over, and hit the trees with terrible force - mixing the bear, Shelly and John into one bloody pile. The flame flared up on scraps of brown skin ... The car and three bodies burned out only after 3 hours.

The bear was walking through the forest. He sees the car is on fire. I sat down in it, and everything inside is covered in blood and there is a refrigerator. Get in it and freeze.
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