How to tame a man once and for all. How to teach your boyfriend to be attentive? Getting male attention

Your man puts up all kinds of resistance and, at any convenient and not very occasion, demonstrates his independence and deep (albeit unreasonable from your point of view) involvement in the league of alpha males - strong, strong-willed, beautiful, free! and men unlimited by one connection?!

Are you tired of the fact that he always strives to leave your common “battlefield” and run away in an unknown direction and who knows with whom? Have you decided to tame him - finally, irrevocably and forever?

Well, you've come to the right place at the right time. Today at the "Beautiful and Successful" is a closed training, the theme of which is the domestication of the powers that be.

How to tame a man effortlessly and with one hand? Find out right now!

A guide for a beginner trainer or How to tame a man

In fact, a male is not so difficult.

In this matter, it is important to know a few basic rules (which we will introduce you to below) and to have at least a general idea of ​​​​the intricacies of male psychology. With this, too, everything is simple, because men, as a rule, have only a few urgent desires (no more than two at a time) and any of us can satisfy them. It would be a desire, a supply of fresh food in the refrigerator and a comfortable sofa in the apartment.

So, you want to tame a single individual?

• feed him. Often. Tasty. Satisfying. Regularly. After all, a well-fed man is a good man. A good man is a lazy man. A lazy man is unlikely to run away from his familiar - such a cozy and dear - place.
• Meet. With a smile, slippers and a hot dinner. And so every day. Seven days a week! Even if he went to the store for a couple of minutes, and returned after 2 days, in an indecent form and without flowers. Even if you have a temperature under 40, a freshly painted manicure, unwatched VKontakte news.

• Satisfy his needs. Any, not only sex and the opportunity to relax with a newspaper in your hands on the couch. After all, men, no matter how paradoxical it sounds, need heart-to-heart conversations, joint walks, and even (I can’t believe I’m writing this myself) shopping.
• Praise. With and, more importantly, without it. Was he promoted? Praise. Did he change the light bulb in the hallway? Praise. Did he succeed? Praise twice.
• Emphasize the importance and necessity of his precious person. The phrases “What would I do without you?”, “I wish my IT specialist had your golden hands”, “I can’t make such an important decision without talking to you” and others should be firmly established in your verbal use.
• consult with him. For any question. Even if it concerns the choice of rug in the bathroom. Even when you have made a firm decision and are not going to change it. Let your man think that you make all the most important and not very decisions together with him and in accordance with his tips.
• Follow his advice. At least sometimes! At least make it look! I understand how difficult it is sometimes (well, the angle of the monogram on the plates does not combine with the turn of the antennae of the butterfly on the curtains in the dining room, well, what's wrong with that, the right word), a stable relationship with one and tamed man is more expensive. And you can return the curtains to the store tomorrow.
• Admire him. Aloud, flowery and preferably in front of witnesses. Accompanying the verbal ode with an ardent and adoring look. Contrary to popular belief, men are greedy for flattery, and with their “ears” they love more than ours.
• Believe it y. Even if you know for sure that the fish he caught was at least three times smaller and certainly without claws. Even if they saw the deuces with their own eyes in his school diary. Even if they personally held the ruler ... well, you understand ...
• Ask him for help. You both know that even a small child can carry a milk carton, but you should not do this with your man. Never!
• Give him the opportunity to feel real hero. And it’s not so important what he does and how he shows his heroism (giving the index finger to a neighbor’s child is also a feat, suddenly he bites off or, even worse, slobbers), the main thing is that in your eyes he will read adoration and dumb delight. So you try to make room for all this diversity in your clear eyes.
• Be his support. And a reliable rear. And a sure shoulder. Your man must know for sure, no matter what happens, no matter how he manages to get into trouble and where - you will support him, do not leave him alone and do not say a crooked word. Aloud.

• listen to him. His lamentations, complaints and drunken declarations of love. Even if it’s far after midnight, and he woke you up with a call and tries to tell in a slurred and not very Russian language how lucky you are with him.
• be interested his hobby. Or at least pretend. Even if you quietly hate fishing, don't know a damn thing about geopolitics, and you're allergic to the dust from his stamp collection, periodically retrieved from the depths of the family cupboard.
• be ready for exploits. Well, those very ... well, in the same place ...
• Let's give him freedom. Or at least the appearance of it. Remember the proverb about the wolf and its dreary glances towards the forest? So - let your man think that at any moment he can:
  a) express your point of view and be heard,
  b) buy what he wants,
  c) spend Friday evening with friends,
  d) leave...
• intrigue him. A man is easily bored, and this, alas, is true. Therefore, never open your book before him to the last page. May there always be a riddle and a slight hint of mystery in you for him.
• And let him know that you have your own territory and the right to a headache / pocket money / express your point of view with a foul language. And, most importantly, use these rights. You can completely and completely dissolve in a man, but you shouldn’t. Leave a bit of yourself.
• love it- gently, passionately, every day. With all possible passion, respect and devotion. Because, believe me, absolutely not! none! sense! in taming an unloved man.

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Question to the psychologist:

Hello. My name is Irina, I am 22 years old. I've been dating a guy for a month. I like him, and he obviously likes me too. He is kind, sweet, sympathetic, caring, attentive, but too soft and absolutely lack of initiative and shy. Despite the fact that he likes me time together, we spend time once a week and then, I am the initiator. He simply cannot live without his company, we are constantly with them. He has a girlfriend (there’s definitely nothing between them) - she runs at her first call, he can come home from work and rush home at the first snap of her fingers, whatever she says, he does. I already told him that there were too many of her and that it seemed to me that I was dating her, he said that he understood me, but something was not noticeable. He will always rush to help his friends, even to the detriment of himself, and this is good, but I think that they use it too much. When I told him that he was too soft with everyone and did not know how to refuse, he agreed. He can go out for a walk, call me and say: “We are walking there, if you want, then come up,” but they don’t say that to a girl, that’s what they say to friends. He has friends in the first place, as they decide, then so be it. I don’t want to become higher than friends for him (at least it’s not reasonable, friends for life, but relationships are not a fact that forever), I want to be close to his friends, so that he would also consider me. I cannot fall in love with a person if I am not alone with him, do not see his real (it's like trying to taste the taste of chocolate, if it is mixed with salt). If we solve some issue, he constantly asks how I want, no, of course I'm glad that he considers me in some way, but even after my words "do as you see fit" he still asks me (well, which of the two of us is a man?! I don’t want to decide something, I want him to decide what and how). I want initiative from him, I want clear and precise decisions from him. Yes, he’s even afraid to kiss me sometimes, all of a sudden I don’t want it (damn it, grabbed it in an armful and kiss it, I won’t crumble). In appearance and behavior, when with him, I am a very modest, quiet and calm girl (I’m afraid to say too much), and with him I really become quiet, shy, homely (I even started baking pies for him). But, as they say, "there are devils in still waters". Even my friends are shocked: they see a home girl with him, and without him I am a person without any framework (go and laugh all over the street - please, talk to a stranger - no problem), run into a fight, get rude to someone who is strong brazenly climbs to get acquainted, break loose and leave for an unfamiliar city, walk without sleep for a couple of days, dance until dawn in a club, go for a walk with unfamiliar people - yes, with pleasure. In general, sorry for such a long text. And tell me how to explain to him that I am a girl, and he is a man? And how to teach him to take the initiative? Thank you in advance.

The psychologist answers the question.

Hello Irina!

Thanks for your question. You would like your boyfriend to be more proactive. Let's think, who does not find it difficult to take the initiative? As a rule, these are self-confident people who have their own opinion and are not afraid of mistakes. And your boyfriend, judging by your letter, is his complete opposite. Those. soft, shy, insecure. To some extent, of course, you can help him become more proactive and self-confident - constantly praise and approve of his choices and decisions, the behavior that you like about him. Emphasize the positive aspects of his character. But I want to warn you right away - that, firstly, you should not expect quick and strong changes - this is a long and complicated process, and secondly, it is very difficult to change another person if he does not want to. It is possible that your boyfriend (whether he realizes it or not) likes to be exactly the way he is. And he may perceive your intervention as an attempt to manipulate him.

As for you, Irina. I suggest you now think about what kind of man you want to see next to you. Soft, flexible or decisive and independent. If you need the second option, then it would be more expedient to look for just such a guy than to try to influence someone who does not fit this description. After all, it is not known in advance whether your efforts will have a positive result, or will end in disappointment, and not only in him, but in general in all men.

Women constantly make claims to their satellites, because you really want the relationship to be as romantic, trusting and stable as possible. Sometimes it can be quite difficult to cope with your emotions when a guy does not show attention and does not want to do small cute things. In this case, you should try to choose the most optimal solution to the problem, because sometimes a tense situation in a relationship can cause quarrels and scandals.

All the women out dependencies from age or gender, they dream that their loved one constantly proves his own and shows maximum attention, but sometimes it can be quite difficult to achieve this. Men, unlike women, rarely understand any hints, so they need to say everything directly or push their actions to his active actions.

Of course, in this case, much depends on the man, but female can also influence the situation to solve the existing problem in the relationship. Let's try to solve the problem of the lack of attention of the beloved guy, because this is a really common problem for many couples.

1. A guy's thinking and perception is significantly different from yours.. This means that any situation that can happen between you is perceived by a man and a woman differently. If, when communicating with a girlfriend, you decide to hold a grudge in order to achieve her location or attention, then the same trick will not be effective in relation to your boyfriend. Male logic is arranged in such a way that he clearly perceives words and actions, but rarely guesses the essence of your prompts. If you want to be offended by him in order to get your portion of attention, then he may take everything wrong. For example, he can interpret your behavior as simple sadness or longing, so try to explain to him as clearly as possible in words that you want to receive more attention, affection and love from him.

2. If you live with a guy, try to give him some chores around the house.. Today, the situation in families is such that both men and women earn money. This means that household chores can be safely divided into two. Please note that a man who clearly knows that he is connected with his beloved woman not only by sex and relationships, but also by life, will be attached and caring.

This feature has been proven psychologists after a long study. In fact, the relationship between a man and a woman largely depends on the life they lead. If your loved one comes home from work and retires at the computer or watching a football match, then it is likely that over time the relationship with your beloved will become cold. You don't have to load your boyfriend with a lot of work, because it's important to remember that he is a man, but simply washing dishes, taking out the trash and fixing appliances and furniture can play an important role in your relationship.

3. Try to be an example for a guy. All of us, being in a relationship, draw something from another person, because this is an interaction that leaves a mark. That is why it is important to show your loved one how much you love him. Make small gifts, organize surprise dates, make aromatic coffee in bed and just hug him more often and talk about how much you love him.

Sooner or later, he will realize that he is very dear to you and will want to prove his love. If you push him away and condemn any attempts to make a pleasant surprise for you, then you will face the fact that he will simply stop caring about you and showing signs of attention. Always show delight in his gifts and surprises, approve of any attempt to organize your free time and say that you really value his attention.

4. Talk to your boyfriend about how you feel and what you think. Do not forget that they rarely pay attention to some subtexts and hints. It is much easier for him to understand you if you express all your dissatisfaction and worries aloud. The main mistake of women in relation to a man is that they try in every way to hint to their beloved guy that they are missing something or that he is wrong about something. In fact, you just need to share thoughts and emotions more often about some of your desires.

If you want him to give you flowers tell him about it. Do not constantly give him examples from the life of girlfriends and do not buy yourself flowers yourself, pretending that this is a gift from a secret admirer. An adult guy who has already gone through the formation of a personality cannot change, but some of his habits and habits can be corrected. Discuss what worries you more often, pay attention to the nuances and do not forget to be interested in his experiences.

5. Never force a guy to do what you want.. We must look for a middle ground, because the hints are incomprehensible to the guys, and any violence will immediately cause resistance. Talk about what you are missing, discuss your feelings with him, but in no case dictate your own rules. It is possible that he will not want to take the initiative in your relationship and will do the opposite to prove his superiority to you.

Men don't like it when someone does something to them. orders or forces, so you will not be able to get his attention in this way. Learn to tell him that you are unhappy because he rarely compliments you and does not organize evenings for two, but present it to him in such a way that he will want to make pleasant surprises for you of his own free will.

6. Use a little trick. A man who constantly does something for his beloved must understand that this is appreciated, so much depends on the woman. If she begins to take his desire to prove his love for granted, then soon he will simply stop doing any things. Of course, it is difficult to develop in yourself the delight of the gift of your favorite perfume as for the first time, but it is worth expressing elementary gratitude and respect.

After all, if you understand situations, he did it for you, and not for himself, which means you should be very pleased. That is why show the maximum of your charm and use such phrases as "Beloved, this is just what I needed", "You are so well done, I am proud of you", "Your help is a real happiness for me", "Already Years of our relationship have passed, and you still know how to surprise. The phrases seem banal and simple, but in fact they help to spur a man's desire to show attention and love towards his beloved.

Are you looking for ways to increase your boyfriend's liking for you? Many people are interested in this question. Sometimes guys get so immersed in work or in their interests that they completely forget about tenderness. This may be due to habit, or because of his modesty to show love. No matter what the reason is, there are still methods to teach a guy to be more gentle towards you.

1. Respond with a smile to his expression of love

The first piece of advice on the list of ways to teach a guy to be gentle is to smile at him when he's really gentle. Show him that you appreciate it and his love makes you happy. When he understands that his actions make you happy, he will be inspired to do so again and again. It is important for him to see your smile. So when he shows love to you.

2. Step back a little

You know, sometimes our guys don't show their feelings because we don't give them the opportunity. We just take the initiative in our own hands and do everything ourselves, and then we are surprised. Why is he not gentle. Try this experiment. Move away from him a little and you will see what happens. When you stop spoiling him with attention, it turns out that he is still quite attentive to you. Before that, he simply did not have the opportunity.

3. Be direct about what you like.

If you don't tell a guy that you like it when he shows his love, he may just not realize how much it means to you. Although we cannot judge all men, most are naturally less tender than women. Think about how many women hug when meeting, or touch the interlocutor's hand during a conversation, and immediately you will realize that men do not do this. A guy just sometimes needs verbal encouragement to understand what is important to you. Just a couple of comments can completely change the situation.

4. Compliment him when he's affectionate towards you.

When he really shows his feelings, compliment him. Tell him that you like it when he hugs you. Say that you are happy when he takes your hand. These words should be accompanied by a smile. It encourages desired actions. And we all want to be encouraged.

5. Flirt

This is a very interesting way to get a guy to show feelings. Flirting will lead you in the right direction. Flirting hints to a person that they are interested in him, but further actions are in his hands. This is my personal definition. Just because we're already dating someone doesn't mean we should stop flirting.

6. Have a serious talk about it

Sometimes, if you lack his attention for a long time, or your boyfriend has become less gentle than he was before, then this is an occasion for a serious conversation. Say that you missed his tenderness, that the manifestation of love will make you happier. Men are different from women. They may not even notice that they have begun to pay less attention to you. Sometimes just talking about it is enough to make things right.

7. Give it time

You know, sometimes a guy needs a little time to get started or to understand the hints you give him. And that's okay. Might really work. But, nevertheless, there is a possibility that this guy simply does not know how to show tenderness, and then he will not change. This does not mean that he is indifferent to you, the reason is simply that he is who he is.

There are many ways that help a guy show his love more. What did you use to achieve the desired result? I'm sure our readers want to know more about this topic!

You, of course, have a chance to meet a man who already knows everything and knows how. But here it’s more like a joke: “What is the probability of meeting a dinosaur? 50 to 50: either you meet or you don't. Valeria Aginskaya, sexologist and program director of the Secrets Sex Education Center, says that rule number 1 for a girl who decides to become happy in bed is not to hope that there will be a partner who will understand without words where and how you need to caress and bring you to enchanting orgasms . If you want to please yourself with his hands, take the process into yours.

GOOD PREPARATION IS HALF THE JOB

“Well, here it is again!” You sigh wearily. But wait, wait, we'll explain! Firstly, the female psyche is more flexible than the male one. This means that it will be easier for you to take on the additional role of a sex teacher. Secondly, it is about your own safety, and in the literal sense. “For girls, the line between“ very pleasant ”and“ unbearably painful ”is rather thin,” explains Alexander Roitman, a psychologist, psychotherapist and sexologist, “so you have every right to control the actions of your partner. Be direct about everything you feel.”

And here is the first piece of advice: be frank about all your desires and feelings. Unexpected, right? Rubbish, no thanks! Your appeal should sound soft, but at the same time specific, without ambiguity, because men do not understand hints. And here a problem arises: medical terms in bed sound formal and cardboard, mat - rude and vulgar. How to be? Come up with your own, intimate language peculiar only to your couple. Pick up cute or funny words for everything that is involved in sex, and never take them out of the relationship, so as not to devalue. Yes, at first it will be funny to pronounce them, but then you get used to it.

TRUST AND VERIFY

But stating a desire out loud does not necessarily mean being heard. In order for the seeds of enlightenment not to wither, they must fall on fertile soil. In other words, we cannot do without trust in each other. “Having said:“ Be gentle with me ”, you will tune in to the right wave even a man with whom you are not yet familiar,” says Alexander
Roitman. “But still, for the realization of most desires, intimacy is needed, which appears within six months of a relationship, and very bold ones may take two to three years.” How to understand that you have reached the desired state? You will feel: your partner will not judge you, no matter how strange the proposal you make. And you yourself will not think badly of him because of his frivolous fantasy. Do not want to wait six months to liberate yourself and your loved one? There is another way to relieve the awkwardness. “Sex is a game, and if your relationship in bed is built on it, you are more likely to teach a man to give pleasure,” says Roitman. “Flirting, metaphors, humor all help to break down the barrier that makes it difficult for you to talk about desires.” If you want to know more, read the book Sex in Human Love. It was written by Eric Berne, an expert on the games that people are passionate about.

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A friendly atmosphere will also play into the hands when you give a man valuable indications for the future. “After sex, tell me how good it was for you, and offer to supplement the program with a couple of new “numbers” next time,” says Valeria Aginskaya. - Use the phrases “I want” and “I like”, avoid negative language and complete the criticism with another praise. For example: “I am very lucky to meet such an understanding partner as you.” In this case, your words will not be perceived as a claim.

CLOSE TO THE BUSINESS

It's not that hard to talk about your desires directly, right? Not?! Then body language will come to the rescue. A sex linguistics lesson is given by Valeria Aginskaya: “If you like what is happening now, start breathing more often. Step back a little, and your partner will non-verbally understand that they are doing something wrong. The parted hips and your movements towards you will show that you are close to orgasm. Do you want a young man to caress your nipples? Assume a cowgirl position, tilt your chest to his face, and he will reach for her purely instinctively. Without further ado, even such painful problems as the lack of foreplay can be solved. “You’ll have to set an example,” the sexologist advises, “say, try a body massage. Stimulate your lover's erogenous zones with your chest and belly, including your feet and head, but don't touch your penis or let your genitals be touched. Excitation is guaranteed for both of you, and the sex can be so good that the next time the partner wants to do something like that. But what you can try if a man is not prone to oral sex. During a blowjob, arrange so that he sees you in all its glory and his tongue is
near the strategically important zone. Show how excited you are with your hips. Let the man feel that you are enjoying the process, and not serving a labor service. So you will break the stereotype entrenched in his mind: "Cunnilingus as gratitude for a blowjob or as a way to bring a woman to orgasm." But what if the beloved does not allow you to touch his penis with your mouth (do you know such a person? Send him to our museum!)? Perhaps the partner is afraid that you will be unpleasant, and does not want to humiliate. And if this is not related to religious or cultural attitudes, you can convince him by showing him sincere pleasure from blowjob.