Alexander sviyash positive psychology read. Alexander Sviyash Smile before it's too late. Positive psychology for everyday life. What do we do

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Alexander Sviyash, Yulia Sviyash
Smile before it's too late. Positive psychology for everyday life

Introduction

A book is a book, but move your brains.

Russian proverb

Hello dear reader!

If you are holding our book in your hands, it is no longer an accident. She came to you at the right time.

Looking through the "Introduction", you probably want to get the answer to a couple of simple questions. What is this book about? Do you need it? The questions are quite reasonable: there are so many books today that you are not in danger of reading them all. At least in this life. Like it or not, you have to choose. We will not torment you with long explanations, we will answer immediately.

The book will be useful to all readers who periodically think about their lives and about life in general. And those who believe that at least something in this life depends on him. If you believe that everything is predetermined by fate, the stars, God, or something else, and you are just a miserable cog (victim, martyr) in this huge universal mechanism, then you hardly need to spend effort on working with this book.

The book is not a panacea. She will not fulfill your desires for you. It won't make you a millionaire. She does not predict the future. It will not cure you of diseases - we believe our reader is not so naive and simple as to count on it.

Our book is about something else.

We don't teach what we don't know ourselves.

Everyone wants to have something that they don't have right now. In this book - the experience of people who ALREADY got what they wanted.

Did you notice the optimistic title of the book? It contains neither a question nor an argument. This is a call to action. Our book will teach you to ACT.

We start from the simple fact that any person (ANYONE!) can radically change, improve his life the way he wants it. And so do you, dear reader.

To understand and apply this book in your life, two things are enough: elementary common sense (we hope you have it) and desire (this is more difficult, but also fixable).

It is also desirable that the reader has a healthy sense of humor, at least in its infancy. However, if you picked up a book with that title, then consider that you are most likely not deprived of humor).

Why is it important? Because we, adults and smart uncles and aunts, take the world too seriously. And this is a bad habit. Even more harmful than smoking and love of alcohol (at least a person gets pleasure from them). Therefore, anecdotes, jokes, poems and aphorisms of wonderful authors and just funny people will periodically remove the “smart guy” from our serious physiognomies.

Poem on the topic

Since life, flying,
A little soar - again in the manure,
Seriously reasonable only one
Who is not overly serious.

I. Huberman

This book is a guide

Whatever a person strives for (and he, rebellious, is always looking for something and wants) - he, in the end, strives for happiness. So, our book is a MANUAL FOR THOSE WHO DON'T JUST DREAM ABOUT HAPPINESS, BUT ALREADY REALIZED WHAT IT IS (IN HIS UNDERSTANDING) AND IS READY TO TAKE STEPS TO ACHIEVE IT.

Probably, you are already familiar with the books of Alexander Sviyash and the ideas of the Reasonable World set out in them. This book was born as a necessary addition to what was written earlier. For the reader, this is an opportunity to really understand the causes and ways to solve a variety of life situations.

Thanks to this book, you, dear reader, will no longer face the indifference of Life, and Life will not see your dull expression.

This is a “correspondence school at home”, a small seminar where you yourself will be both a student and a teacher. This is a collection of exercises and tasks according to a methodology that allows any person to understand their own past and present and clear their way to what they want most. Previous books answered basically the question: WHY does it happen that your life does not suit you? This book answers the question: HOW to make you happy?

We know that, using our methodology, many thousands of people have already changed their lives for the better. However, any book is a textbook, a theory, and for many readers this is not enough. Therefore, this work was born as an addition to the theory, as a tool for not only reading about the methodology, but also starting to live in accordance with it.

Our readers often ask the same question. It sounds something like this: “I read and understood that almost everything was said about me. Yes, there are problems in my life. Now tell me what to do about it? The book answers such questions.

On its pages you will find many stories, cases from the practice of our consultations and trainings. There is nothing invented here, with the exception of the names and surnames of the heroes, of course, changed by us. It is possible that in these stories you will find something in common with yourself, similar to your own life.

Positive psychology for everyday life

This book is a kind of textbook on positive psychology, but written not for psychology students, but for quite ordinary people living everyday life. In the life of almost any person, sooner or later situations arise that require psychological support. So far, it is not very accepted in our country to turn to a specialist psychologist, in contrast to the countries of the West, where every more or less well-to-do person has his own psychologist-consultant. In our country, people get out of problems on their own, relying on the help of relatives and friends, and they turn to specialists when they themselves can no longer do anything. This book is a powerful tool for independent work, for self-help in difficult psychological situations. The ideas outlined here have already helped many thousands of people around the world. Therefore, if you are not lazy and begin to complete the tasks given in the book, then, most likely, you may need professional help from a psychologist only in the most difficult cases.

smart thought

The ability to ruin your own life is an inalienable right of every person.

Psychology is not quite ordinary

We immediately draw your attention to the fact that we offer not quite the usual materialistic psychology. In classical psychology, a person is considered as a separate self-sufficient object, and inside him there are some kind of failures that need to be corrected. Sometimes the relationship of a person with his immediate environment - family, employees, acquaintances - is studied, since it is here that the causes of the appearance of distortions in the psyche may lie. We also take these factors into account, so we boldly refer our reasoning to psychology. But we consider a person and his relationship with the outside world much broader than is currently accepted in psychology. We proceed from the idea of ​​the multiple arrival of the soul of each into this world - hence the explanations of the reasons for the birth of a person in a particular environment, with certain health, character traits, etc. We proceed from the fact that a person should not just live his life, like a plant, but evolve. And in this he is helped and directed by some forces, whose existence modern science has not yet recognized, but whose manifestations are easy to detect with an unbiased look at one's own life. That is, we admit that there is something in the world that we have not yet known, but with which we can interact and understand its appeals to ourselves. We will designate this unknown with the words Life, the Creator, the Higher powers, assuming that sooner or later humanity will finally decide on the understanding of who they are and what they need from us. More precisely, what they need from us, we already approximately know and take into account in our reasoning, which you will find on the pages of the book. In general, we suggest that you familiarize yourself with non-traditional, alternative positive psychology for everyday use.

Book for men and women

Let us immediately pay attention to one purely technical issue. The materials in this book can be successfully used by both men and women. But sometimes phrases are built in such a way that it is not possible to immediately address representatives of both sexes, you need to choose. The repetition of phrases with altered endings (masculine and feminine) is a vain increase in the volume of the book. Prefixing at the end of verbs with endless (a) also does not decorate the text. Therefore, we decided to confine ourselves to constructing phrases addressed to representatives of one sex, in the hope that representatives of the second sex would calmly accept what was said and at their own expense, mentally changing the endings of some words.

Who do you think ceded the right to be addressed directly? Of course, men as beings are initially noble and ready to do a lot for the sake of women. So in this book, direct speech will be addressed mainly to women. And when reading the book, we ask men to understand that everything written fully applies to them.

What do we do?

To understand if you need this book, answer one simple (even banal) question right now:

DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE

in a particular area or in general?

We foresee that you have a slight annoyance from the question. It sounds very often lately (this is how advertising of weight loss products usually begins, as well as many other goods and services, sometimes very expensive).

If a clear and unequivocal “NO” has sounded in your head, you can put the book aside without hesitation. We respect your choice.

Perhaps you have already reached the state of the Buddha - when there is no desire. Or you are so good that you simply have nothing to want! Then we can assume that you already have everything and you don’t really need a book either.

If you have other answers like:

"Want!",

"I want, but be careful..."

“I want, but not all…”,

“I want, but I don’t believe that I can…”,

“But who doesn’t want this? ..”,

"Yes, I want to change, but ...",

"Of course I want! I'm already sick of…” etc., you can consider that we are on the same path.

Few are 100% satisfied with their lives. Such people probably exist, but they usually do not read such books. Therefore, it doesn’t matter at all whether you are a man or a woman, how old are you, what is your education and health status, do you have a family, what kind of work do you work for (and do you work at all), etc. Another thing is important: in your life there is something what would you like to improve. Or maybe it needs a radical revision and change. What kind of change it will be is not important yet. For now, just your desire to bring something new into your own life is enough.

Whatever the reasons that prompted you to take up this book, we have no doubt that positive changes will come into your life with it. Why? Because ordinary books just need to be read, but this book needs to be acted upon. That is, work.

There is a big difference between just reading and doing. This book will teach you to think in a way that will change not only your perception of yourself and life, but life itself.

What is our book about?

Our book does not pretend to be a comprehensive textbook of life. But it will help you answer three questions:

1. Why do I have what I have (problems, dissatisfaction, etc.)?

2. How to deal with emerging problems? How can I eliminate what I don't like from my life?

3. How not to create new problems for yourself?

Therefore, our book is about changing yourself and your life. Notice: About change myself…

Agree, when something does not suit us, first of all we want to change the environment: parents, children, boss, work, education, husband or wife, friends, the country in which we were born ... In general, everything except yourself.

The experience of working with people led us to one conclusion. The only effective way to change your own life is to change yourself, or rather, that part of yourself that led us to a difficult situation.

That is why most of our book is devoted to a journey inside yourself and your relationship to the world. And even if it seems to you that you know everything (or almost everything) about yourself, while working with our book, be prepared to see in yourself something that was not obvious to you before!

Everything that happens to us in life, we are accustomed to explain external causes. For example, the lack of money is due to poor education, place of work or economic situation in the country. The collapse of family or personal life is explained, as a rule, by the behavior of a partner (or his relatives), etc. Agree, it is not difficult to find an external explanation! And, unfortunately, just as ineffective. Our book will take a different approach. As we study our daily lives, we will focus on the inner, largely hidden causes that make our lives the way we have them. In other words, let's look carefully at what exactly inside us served to create this or that situation.

Let's not wait for Monday!

How many times have you decided: I'm starting a new life ... from Monday. Yes, since Monday. Because now there is no time, fatigue overcomes, it is impossible to concentrate, etc. Everything! Since Monday I...

I start running in the morning

I will go to the gym

go on a diet

I will look for a new job

I won't argue with anyone anymore

I will start learning English

substitute your own version: ______________________________________________________________

smart thought

The desire to start a new life is not from a good life.

B. Krutier

Unfortunately, usually this significant Monday did not come or was postponed until better times.

Together with our book, we invite you to take a step into a “new life” without waiting for Monday. Because reading it will require from you not only time, but also active actions. However, they are not so difficult as to break the habitual way of life and tear you away from your daily business.

We are ready to give a lot for solving our problems: time, money, etc. But not our own efforts and habitual stereotypes of thinking. This is very similar to the situation when a person suffering from overeating, instead of eating right, swallows pills that make it easier to digest heavy meals. We offer you a slightly more time-consuming, but much more interesting and effective way.

Try it before you sigh in disappointment: nothing will help me ...

smart thought

Nothing is given to us as cheaply as we want.

A. Knyshev

How to work with this book?

What you are holding in your hands is not, in fact, a book. And it wasn't built in the usual way. Therefore, the last thing we would like is for you to read it like an ordinary book, then put it on a shelf or give it to your friends.

It can be said that this is not a book to read. it Diary for independent work or Workbook for changing yourself. So deal with it.

Almost every person has dreamed of having a diary at some point in their lives. After all, there are so many interesting things in life - why not write it down? Now you have such an opportunity. But this is no ordinary diary. It will need to be carried out according to certain rules. It may sometimes seem difficult, but in our book you will find all the necessary explanations and tips.

You need to work with a pen or pencil. Allocate special time for this, let it be a little, but it should be only yours. Let no one and nothing distract you. After all, you so rarely take the time to take care of yourself!

You may have to write very personal things in this Diary and you don't want anyone to read them. Then take care in advance that this Diary is available only to you. Find a place where your friends or family can't read it. The main thing is that you yourself find it later.

In the course of keeping a diary, constantly return to what you have written and read. The book is structured in such a way that you can work in parallel with several sections and paragraphs.

We will only be glad if, as a result of this work, the entire book will be written out by you and read “to holes”. Write in tablets, empty columns, in specially designated places. Write between the lines, in the margins. EVERYTHING is possible here! Let the book become your friend and interlocutor.

Underwater rock. One but big

We warn you right away: our methodology has one serious drawback. Namely: from reading the book alone, neither you nor your life will change!

In order for this book not to fly past you like an autumn leaf driven by the wind, you need at least complete the exercises and tasks given in each section. And do not forget that in all tasks it is advisable not to deceive yourself (herself). Otherwise, we, the authors, are immediately ready to throw out a white flag. So arm yourself with a pen or pencil - and go!

And one more small addition. If you are not familiar with the books of Alexander Sviyash, we recommend reading, for example, such books: “What to do when everything is not as you want”, “Reasonable world. How to live without unnecessary worries. In the first three chapters, we briefly summarize the main ideas of the Intelligent Way methodology, but for a complete acquaintance with it, it is good to have one of these books at home if you want to work with the Diary. However, even without first reading the mentioned books, here you will find everything you need.

Have a happy and, of course, a wise journey! (Note: one does not contradict the other).

Chapter 1
Root of all troubles

Every person wants to understand his life. While everything is fine - and there is nothing to think about. But when everything is bad ... he goes to a friend, adviser, psychoanalyst, sage. And he asks to explain how it is so that life is arranged.

M. Weller

Our journey within ourselves begins. And every journey has a beginning, a start. And there is a finish, an end point. “He who does not know which harbor to sail to has no favorable wind,” said Seneca several thousand years ago. Our work will also not give the desired result if we do not know where we start and what we are striving for in the end. We will never reach the desired goal if we do not know where we need to go. So let's do a little exercise right now.

Where we are going?

Please fill in the blank lines with your answers. Write what immediately comes to mind, and not what will later be pleasant to read to you or your mother (husband, wife, mother-in-law, etc.)

What areas of your life would you like to change or improve? It can be personal life, family, work, material well-being, relationships (with whom?), lifestyle in general, or something else.

1. ______________________________________________

2. ______________________________________________

3. ______________________________________________

4. ______________________________________________

5. ______________________________________________

I am currently _________________ % satisfied with my life (put a number between 0 and 100%).

Working with this book, I want ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Are you ready for change?

Now answer the question: are you ready to change yourself to change the areas of your life that you just highlighted? This means that you may have to reconsider some of the principles and beliefs dear to your heart, which is not at all easy, and you should be aware of this.

For example, you could write that you want to receive a million dollars. But are you ready to accept the changes arising from this event? After all, then you will most likely have to change your place of residence, and as a result, you will probably lose touch with people you have known for a long time, friends. You will have to change or completely quit your job - and what will you do in the new conditions? You will be forced to have new rich acquaintances with their interests that are alien to you today - will you be able to adapt to their environment? You will have to hire staff for personal service - do you consider yourself worthy of other people taking care of you? All in all, asking for money, you are objectively ordering yourself a different life, but do you need it? Or will you try to take your friends and family into it, giving them some of your wealth? But after all, they did not order a new life for themselves, and even more than you are not ready for it, so none of you, most likely, will receive such “happiness involuntarily”.

Anecdote on the topic

One man prayed to God for a long time to go to heaven. And so he went one day to the mountains. He is walking along a narrow mountain road and suddenly stumbled and flew into the abyss. He grabbed a bush with his hands and hangs over the abyss. Screaming, poor fellow:

- Is anybody here?!

Silence. The man screams again:

- Is anybody here?!

- I'm here…

- Who are you? the man screams.

- God.

"Then do something!"

“You have been praying for me for a long time to go to heaven. Let go of your hands and you will immediately be there.

"Hey, is anyone else here?"

Hopefully, you can easily identify the areas of your life that need to be changed. It is also possible that the answers to the above questions will take some time. Do not hurry. You must clearly understand what you are striving for so that the final destination of the trip does not disappoint you.

While working with a book, you can come to unexpected conclusions about yourself, you can experience peace of mind and joy, or feel great discomfort from time to time - and this is wonderful. Exactly unbiased self-examination- the key to success on the way to your goals.

The first section of our book is devoted to answering the questions:

What makes my life the way it is today? Why do I have what I have (problems, dissatisfaction, etc.)?

What can I do to change all this for the better?

It is human nature to strive for something. Love, family, children, education, a successful career, wealth, recreation, creativity, health - this is not a complete list of our everyday needs. However, most of us live in a world of problems and worries. Why is this happening? And is it possible to make sure that problems are solved easily and quickly, the necessary goals are achieved and life gives only pleasure? How to learn to live calmly and joyfully, without unnecessary worries? If these and similar questions have been on your mind, then this book is for you.

Perhaps it will become for you something like the rules of the road - only the movement of life. In it you will find those unspoken laws and rules that our whole life obeys. These are the very traffic lights, signs and signs that people often do not notice or do not want to notice. Our task is to make them visible and understandable for you.

The book will give you a chance to get out of the world of problems and worries and take a step into the Intelligent world. A world where you can make informed decisions because you know the causes and consequences of certain events. If something doesn't work out for you, you'll know why. If you want something, you will know how to achieve it.

You will become the real master of your life.

Who among us has not set out to change our lives for the better? Probably someone who has already done it.

Alexander Grigorievich Sviyash, supervisor Center for Positive Psychology "Smart Way" is of the opinion that any person can radically change his life the way he wants it. What is needed for this? Common sense and desire!

Every person sooner or later faces difficulties and begins to look for answers to vital questions. If a person is not satisfied with something, what does he want to change first of all? Correctly. Parents, children, boss, job, education, husband or wife, friends, country.

A person sees dissatisfaction with the world around him as the main source of emerging problems. Hence the discomfort, negative experiences, negative emotions. The only effective way to change your own life is to change yourself.. Here it is, the answer to all our questions.

"You need to accept the world around you as it is at the moment, despite its obvious imperfection.", - you have probably already been told this phrase more than once. How did you react to it?

Alexander Sviyash considers a person and his relationship with the outside world quite widely. He admits that there is something in the world that we have not yet known, but with which we can interact and calls it the words Life, Creator, Higher powers. It gives a tool, using which a person will be able to identify and realize the peculiarities of his attitude to the world.

Methodology "Smart way" is a system of views that allows a person to understand the causes of problems that arise in his life and change himself and his reality. The technique works because it is really the author's, well-developed system of building the world with specific and well-developed ways of a prosperous existence in this world.

The essence of the method of intelligent life can be expressed in several statements:

• man is born for joy and spiritual development;
• each person potentially has unlimited possibilities for the creation of his life;
• the current situation of each of us is the best situation for us. This is the result of our own efforts and we need to rejoice here and now;
• we are responsible for everything that happens to us. There is no one but us who creates problems for us;
• at any moment in time, a person can change his situation. You just need to realize how he created problems for himself, and change his attitude to the situation;
• by changing his thoughts, a person can change his reality, since our consciousness in the form of explicit and hidden thoughts and attitudes determines our actions, and actions form the life that a person is dissatisfied with.

How is the Intelligent Path different from other paths that the people of this planet walk?? The Intelligent Way is a belief system that has already enabled many people in many countries around the world to make their lives the way they want. From a state of struggle and overcoming problems, they moved into a state of successful realization of their desires. What can a person achieve by using the ideas of the Intelligent Way? Almost everything, within the limits of reasonable and achievable, that a person can wish for, says A. Sviyash. He first recommends get in harmony with the environment. Then you need to correctly formulate that goal to which you want to come and make an effort to achieve it, removing internal barriers that arise on the way and prevent you from moving towards your goal. Often a person declares one thing, but in his soul he is sure that he is not worthy of getting what he aspires to. If a girl sincerely strives to meet a handsome prince and become his wife, and far from being surrounded by princes, then the problem is not in the absence of princes, but in how she positions herself in the world. Self-esteem will change, reality will change. How to understand what kind of reality you create for yourself? Very simple. You just need to remember what is the main topic of conversations with relatives and friends? That everything is bad, that no one is paid money, or something more positive? If a person is sure that everything around is bad, there is no money and will not be, then in his own Universe everything will happen exactly like that. And other people can live in a completely different universe, where there is a lot of money, work and other benefits. What needs to be done to be in a secure universe? Stop focusing on negative events and discuss various troubles and troubles with friends. Get to know those who are looking for ways to increase their success and try to behave the same way. start smiling! "smart way"is a technique for increasing the efficiency of a person's success on the way to his goals in any area of ​​life. We have little chance of changing something in it, but there are enough chances to make our own life successful and joyful. We cannot accumulate experiences! We need to learn to accept the world around us as he is, despite his imperfections. Worrying is not good! Take it as a rule. It's bad for health. Every thought we have is a small "order" given by us to the Universe. We thought once, thought twice, added emotion, and… the process started! The Universe (Life, God, Cosmos, Higher Mind) is in constant dialogue with us. She hears us, answers us, teaches us. Since the source of everything that happens is ourselves, it means that we have the strength and ability to change our reality in accordance with our own desires. Life is a cool thing and you need to live in a buzz!

Alexander Grigorievich Sviyash- Russian psychologist, author of books.

Biography

He was born on February 12, 1953 in Northern Kazakhstan. His father worked in the military, so the family often changed their place of residence, but eventually settled in the Dagestan city of Kizlyar. Since childhood, Alexander was fond of radio engineering, which influenced the choice of a higher educational institution. After graduating from school, Alexander began to study at the Moscow Institute of Transport Engineers at the Faculty of Automation and Computer Engineering. Simultaneously with his studies, he worked on the Moscow railway. After graduating from the university in 1983, Alexander defends his dissertation and receives the position of candidate of technical sciences. Suddenly, unexpectedly for everyone, he changes the direction of his work and takes up theoretical solutions to inventive problems. Having abandoned technology, Alexander begins to work as a senior employee in the scientific laboratory of technical creativity at the Institute of the Academy of Pedagogical Sciences, and is also working on his doctoral dissertation in pedagogy. During perestroika, he creates and opens a creative center for children, where he works with young talented inventors. Then he begins to be interested in psychology and the development of a person's personality.

Creation

Sviyash is the author of many books on psychology, known both in Russia and abroad. Now Alexander Sviyash has a third wife, and with his second wife Yulia, he co-authored several books. He is the author of more than 14 books, the total circulation of which is over 10 million copies. His books are psychological in nature and are loved by many admirers of the author, but not everyone can interpret them correctly. To do this, the author created his own projects that help people understand the correctness of their theoretical thoughts, push them on the right path when making a decision. He is the author of a book about how easy it is to become a rich person and attract cash flows, just by correctly manipulating fate and skillfully pushing it to fulfill desires, both material and non-material.

Psychology

He founded the Center for Positive Psychology The Reasonable Way and created the Internet project Space for Self-Development. He created a method, unique in its effect, the Reasonable Way, which, according to him, allows people to understand the causes of the problems that arise on their way, and be able to get rid of them. In his center, he conducts trainings and seminars on psychology and problem solving. Sviyash also conducts field seminars and teaches psychology through webinars through his Internet project. Several times he took part as an invited guest in popular television programs. It could be seen both on central channels, for example, in the Good Morning program on Channel One, and on cable television channels, where Svyaysh is a frequent guest.

Awards

In 2012 he received an award from the European Business Assembly - the Order of United Europe in the nomination For Professional Achievement. Twice he received an award from the book publishing house Peter - a statuette of the goddess Nike in the nomination For a series of books that arouse inexhaustible interest of readers for many years and in the nomination for the Record number of circulations for 2001-2002.

He is fond of photography, fishing. Alexander Sviyash calls himself an active member of the Research Workshop of Practical Psychology. President and co-founder of the Association of Personal Development Professionals. He is a full member of the Professional Psychotherapeutic League. He has his own website. Master of positive thinking, is a member of the editorial board of the Socratic Almanac of the European Business Assembly. Included in the 10 gurus of the planet according to the Russian magazine Marie-Claire. Participated in the TV show Dinner Party on the Ren-TV channel. His fan is Dmitry Kharatyan. He writes in the genre of popular psychology. Journalists constantly associate his name with sects, and the Russian Orthodox Church criticizes the teachings of Sviyash, calling him neo-pagan. Sviyash himself calls his teaching based on the texts of the Bible. He maintains his blog on the website and on the LiveJournal platform.