Desire to harm yourself. What is selfharm and why does a person have a desire to hurt himself? You do risky things

In the autumn, the documentary film “My self-harm” directed by Yakov Raskalov is released - about people who deliberately hurt themselves. It is believed that self-harm is when a person cuts his arms, legs, body. In fact, there are many more options for self-harm - when a person burns his hands with cigarettes, hits himself on the head, tries to strangle himself, all this is also selfharm. Even the extreme degree of workaholism, when you literally fall down from fatigue, alcoholism and tattoos can turn out to be a self-harm. Seven people told Alena Agadzhikova how they inflict suffering on themselves and why and how they cope with the desire to hurt themselves.

Michelle

Choking, cuts on hands and feet

Many people think that selfharm — youth problem, but this is a false stereotype. Selfharm has no age. I cut my hands, had an eating disorder, slapped myself, strangled myself. People think that self-harm is necessarily something that is noticeable to others, something that leaves traces. This is the second dangerous stereotype, because the one whose problems are not visible ends up without help and support.

It's not terrible that a person in principle hurts himself. And the fact that one day it either stops working (and then you need even more, even more painful and dangerous), or it ends in a serious injury.

On the one hand, each of us has the right to choose how to live, what to do and how to die. However, "free choice" is a myth. Most often, you can help a person to abandon self-harm, if you solve the problems that cause it. Selfharm never exists on its own. The comparison is stupid, but it's like drugs. Drugs are prohibited, we need to carry out propaganda against them, we need to help people to refuse. But if you absolutely cannot help, it is better to give out a clean syringe.

People, promises that replace practices, helped me cope with selfharm. And the fact that I managed to leave the most traumatic conditions for the psyche. The best help is someone else's support and someone else's pain. If people you care about are suffering from your actions, you want to do something to stop it. Between “I want, but I don’t do” and “I don’t need it anymore”, it helps to draw on the skin, sing loudly, beat cheap dishes, paint walls, tear fabric, scream. Now I manage without the help of a psychiatrist and medication. Sometimes the psyche still gives out a trick, it's hard, of course. But it is possible to cope if you do not do it alone.

Mira

Cuts on hands and feet, scarring

In high school, it was an innocent hand injury from razor blades and catheter needles. We did it together with a classmate, we were just curious to feel the pain. I remember, we counted the number of serifs - who has more. It was like the first cigarette or the first glass. Cool, because it is destructive, and all my life I was drawn to self-destruction, disintegration.

At first, all attempts carried an unconscious desire to attract attention. But on the day when I consciously cut myself for the first time, I was forced to take the life of a creature that sincerely loved me, but broke my spine and suffered a lot with my own hands. I could not see anything because of the tears and did not hear how the creature stopped breathing. I just felt the warmth leaving my hands. It seems to me that on that day I crashed and the fragments came out, giving rise to my “scar painting” on my legs.

I was driven to self-harm by different feelings, different states, but they were all negative. The sight of blood awakened a primal delight, and all the problems of the real world ceased to matter. I enjoyed the idea that people would look at my mutilated body and experience disgust, horror, incomprehension. It was a protest, a desire to show everyone that it was better to stay away from me. Today I admire my scars, I like to touch them, I love it when my loved ones touch them. It's a memory of all the pain, bitterness, decay that's left in the past, a reminder that it's okay to suffer. The most significant scar is the full-body scarring that I gave myself for my birthday (or rebirth), because after experiencing this pain, a new life began.

Self-harm cannot but be a problem, but if you are not asked for advice, opinion or help, then you do not need to aggravate the situation with your anxiety. If you care about a person who is self-harming, then give him the confidence that he can always tell you about his feelings. Personally, I often missed the opportunity to talk.

It took me many years to understand that the act of self-harm is most often preceded by discouragement. And it appears due to inaction and stagnation. I found salvation in physical activity: I start the morning with a run, intense exercise, practice meditation, follow the regime and take time for myself every morning. Being free from negative emotions is a lot of work on thinking, habits and weaknesses. I got rid of depressive episodes by cutting out animal products and regular fasting. Now, if I really want pain, I break loose and run - in any weather, at any time of the year. The main thing in overcoming self-harm is to find your switch, incentive and the person for whom you will be stronger than yourself. For me, that person is me.

Nix

Cuts on hands, feet and face

I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, self-harm is one of the manifestations. I have been seeing a psychiatrist for the past few years, taking antidepressants and mood stabilizers with a sedative effect. Not long ago I went into remission, and during this time I had no desire to touch the blade.

I started cutting my hands when I was twelve. It was a desire to punish myself, to avenge me for being pathetic, cowardly and useless. I wanted to push the limits of what was available, go against myself and my instincts, overcome my fear of pain and prove that I was worth something. Suppressed aggression also led to self-harm. But most importantly, I wanted to feel alive. I distinctly remember the self-hatred mixed with the feeling of strange delight with which I first ran the blade over the skin. The sight of blood and damage was mesmerizing. I also wanted to ground myself with rituals of decontamination, bleeding control, dressings… when you do all that, depression fades into the background.

My self-harm, like my illness, is a part of me. This is neither good nor bad, just a fact. I don't see the point in focusing too much on my scars, but I don't disown them. I remember I was trying to get into college - and a friend asked me before the exam: “Do you want to drop your sleeves?” I replied that of course not.

What helped me the most was the treatment. When my psyche stopped writing out unimaginable pretzels, I stopped cutting myself. The thing that has helped me the most is getting rid of everything that makes me unhappy. First I got rid of the toxic environment, then I stopped trying to work anywhere but at home. Now my rule is this: if there is something that prevents me from living and being happy, I need to look for ways to get rid of it, not to try to get used to it and put up with it.

Nastya

Medical pain, pain during sex, tattoos

I have never done obvious self-harm - cuts, self-mutilation. Therefore, before psychotherapy, I did not even realize that I was also engaged in self-harm. I drove myself to exhaustion with work, long periods of illness followed bouts of workaholism. I endured pain during sex. I liked going to the dentist and enduring the pain of injections, incisions, and braces. When I lightened my hair and the scalp began to burn, I endured to the last, believing that this was right and patience makes me better. Three years ago I got my first tattoo, and then a few more. I got the first big tattoo, a portrait of Mayakovsky on my leg, in one six-hour session, and it was a real catharsis, I was delighted. At the end it was very painful, but I was glad about it and for two weeks I walked in high spirits, limping on one leg. This tattoo was followed by several more. At that time I was in a state of exacerbation of bipolar and anxiety disorder, and the pain was very distracting.

The psychologist and I had many sessions about my desire to hurt myself. It was a dive into old traumas, buried thoughts and fears. The psychologist said that my desire to inflict physical pain on myself is largely connected with the attitudes to suffer for my own good, to be a victim in some even religious-heroic sense, to endure pain patiently. For many years I was not aware of my body and felt "dead". The pain made me feel alive, feel my body.

I know for sure that I lived with the desire to die for most of my life, but self-harm was not an attempt to kill myself. Selfharm was more of a tool to deal with mania and anxiety and, on the contrary, gave me the strength to move on. I agree that my body is my business, however, I am aware that mutilation greatly affects my loved ones, because they worry about me.

Lisa

Cuts on hands and feet, burns, sex with strangers, alcohol

I started self-harm at the age of seventeen. Around the same time, I was diagnosed with bipolar affective disorder. I had a long and very severe depressive phase. To drown out the pain that I experienced, I began to put out cigarettes on myself. My younger sister has the same disease and she started self-harm before me. I saw her scars and often wondered if it really helped. I don't remember how it happened the first time, it's all a blur, but it's been five years since then. I was in psychiatric hospitals three times, went to psychotherapy and a support group. Now I'm in remission, I continue to take medication.

Self-harm includes not only direct damage to one's body, but also other forms of behavior aimed at harming oneself: frequent drinking in large quantities, unprotected sex with unfamiliar people. There are times during a depressive episode when you feel mental pain on a physical level. You're in so much pain that you can't move. The whole world shrinks to one point somewhere in the chest, which hurts unbearably. At such moments, you forget absolutely everything: that there are people who love you, that this pain is not forever. All you want is to stop feeling this suffering. When I extinguish cigarettes on myself, the attention from the mental pain shifts to the burn and it becomes easier.

There are other situations in which I hurt myself. Sometimes I feel like I'm a very bad person and don't deserve anything good. There's a certain morbid pleasure in proving to yourself that you're disgusting. I deliberately got drunk and slept with everyone in a row to feel bad, because if you know for sure that you deserve all those terrible things that happen to you, then nothing needs to be done about it. You don't have to make an effort to fix things. For me, self-harm and suicidal behavior are very close things. When you are in pain, you think about suicide as a way to solve this problem. It’s just that self-harm is an easier and less scary option. I often hurt myself to deal with suicidal thoughts. And vice versa: when I don’t have suicidal thoughts, I don’t do self-harm.

I am very lucky because people close to me support me, and I do not hide my scars from anyone. My parents, sister, my partner and friends know that I did self-harm. I know that if I start hurting myself again, they will help me, talk to me, take me to the doctor, just stay by my side. Now, when I look at my scars, I remember all that I went through and think how strong I am. I am not ashamed of them and would never want to get rid of them. I feel that even if my remission ends, I will be able to cope with the disease.

Stasia

Plucking of hair, eyebrows and eyelashes, blows to the head

I started doing self-harm at school. Then I was diagnosed with neurosis, I drank sedatives and antidepressants. The girl with whom we talked then asked me not to hit myself on the head, but I could not restrain myself. I was driven to despair when I could not do something, and I beat myself for even the slightest mistake. But the main reason for self-harm was that I could not meet my own or other people's expectations and felt guilty, ashamed, thought that it was my own fault, that I was bad.

At twenty-two, I spent a month in a neurosis clinic, where they prescribed me medication. Now I go to a psychotherapist every week, he talks to me, but he only prescribes drugs for insomnia.

Suicide and self-harm are very different things. Suicidal attempts are aimed at completely ceasing to exist. Those who engage in self-harm have no such goal.

I don't know of many methods to help stop self-harm. For a while, I didn’t take care of my eyebrows at all, because I was afraid that if I started plucking them, I wouldn’t be able to stop. Now I hardly touch my eyelashes and manage my eyebrows in moderation, because I switched to other types of self-harm.

Selfharm rarely causes me severe physical pain, but I do not aspire to this. For me, it's a way to relieve stress. Some types of self-harm frankly scare me. For example, I'm afraid of getting an infection by pulling out burrs, or damaging my brain when I hit myself on the head. Some seem simply unaesthetic: I don't want to go without eyelashes and without eyebrows.

Lisa

Cuts on hands and feet, burns, alcohol

An exaggerated sense of guilt led me to self-harm. I think it started in early childhood. I rested in the village with my grandmother and grandfather, where he took to drink. My grandmother and I went swimming on the Volga, and she warned: “Just don’t say anything to your grandfather, he can’t swim drunk, his heart can’t stand it.” And I blabbed. And now, joyful, he also comes to the Volga and swims to where the ships are moored. My grandmother and I swim for a long time, go ashore, and I see his clothes - a shirt, flip flops, shorts. And in the distance - something white. Grandmother exclaims: "It was grandfather who drowned" - and begins to cry. I didn’t understand what death was, and I tried to “distract” my grandmother with jokes, some stories. She was silent for a long time and then said: “Liza, that's enough. It's normal for me to be having a hard time right now." Then I learned that it is natural to regret death, but since then I have become constantly responsible for everything that happens.

It got worse every year. Fight with a guy, yell at someone in response - a terrible feeling of guilt, because of which I cut myself. At first it was pins, at school - blades, and when I entered the veterinarian, I switched to a scalpel and stationery knives. Basically I cut my wrists and covered them with wristbands. As a teenager, she tried to commit suicide several times.

The first suicide attempt happened after my friend's wedding: then I first hung behind my back, because I sympathized with the culture of body modification and goth. I was sixteen years old. It was very painful when my skin was pierced with hooks, when, after removing it, they massaged it to expel air from the skin. But the process itself gave me a feeling of incredible euphoria: I dangled in the air and swayed. When I was filmed, I had a serotonin dip, like after a drug intoxication. I fell into a depression. At home, I became very ill, and I began to write to my boyfriend that I was planning to commit suicide. He replied: “Stop bullying me,” because at that time I really could abuse the manipulations on the topic of suicide. I took a scalpel and cut my hands very deeply. This was the first case of an impulsive state, when later I could not remember what happened. I only remember that at that time I felt resentment, anger and intense longing. I don't remember who called the ambulance.

The reasons for self-harm can vary. An important part of them is occupied by auto-aggression: a state when you feel anger towards yourself or others and decide to reflect it in this way, and not necessarily by self-cutting, it can be alcohol, drugs or other self-destructive behavior. Seventy percent of my self-harm is associated with alcohol. When sober, I can somehow calm myself down, but when I'm drunk, I can't. I read a lot about how to redirect auto-aggression to something else: draw butterflies on the places you want to cut, stick them with a band-aid, crumple paper, but all this does not help me. Referring to myself then, I can only say one thing: "Go to the doctor." Ever since I started taking the pills, I'm no longer able to hurt myself the way I used to. Now I feel fear and pity when I look at my hands and feet, I don’t understand how I could do all this with myself.

P.S. Alena Agadzhikova: “The scars of some of the heroes of the project have long since healed, and sometimes self-harm is not visually readable at all: for example, Stasia, who hits herself on the head, Michelle, who self-suffocates, or Nastya, who makes socially acceptable tattoos. With the help of paint indicating the places of self-harm, I wanted to take the self-harm out of the invisibility zone. For other heroes, the paint, on the contrary, has become a “camouflage”: the scars of Nix and Lisa are striking, the heroes are not shy about them, however, those around them prefer not to notice them.

"I am 14 years old. When scandals at school become unbearable, I take a penknife and try to hurt myself as much as possible. When there is no knife at hand, I stick a ballpoint pen into my skin or scratch myself until I bleed. I don't know why, but when I do that, it makes me feel better. It's like I'm pulling a splinter out of my body. Everything is fine with me?" Our site also receives such disturbing letters from teenagers.

There are also letters from parents: “My daughter is 15 years old. I recently noticed burn marks on her arm. It is not possible to talk about it, she takes every word of mine with hostility and refuses to meet with a psychologist. I feel completely powerless and don't know what to do now."

Blade marks on the forearm, cigarette burns on the body, cut legs - almost 38% of teenagers at least once tried to injure their body. The realization that their own child is hurting himself horrifies parents. Automatic, at the level of a reflex, the desire to save him from pain is faced with an unusual obstacle - the absence of an enemy and an external threat. And the question remains: "Why did he do it?"

Contact with your body

In maturing children, from about 11–12 years old, desires, interests, behavior change - their inner world becomes different. It is especially difficult for teenagers to adapt to changes in their body. The arms and legs are extended, the gait changes, the plasticity of movements, the voice become different. The body suddenly begins to behave arbitrarily: erotic fantasies and treacherously spontaneous erections in boys; menstruation, often painful, in girls, can also begin at any time - at school, in training.

“The body seems to become something separate,” says family therapist Inna Khamitova. “Hurting yourself is one way to get in touch with him. The behavior of teenagers resembles the gesture of a person who has a terrible dream: he wants to stop him, pinch himself and wake up.

frightening world

At 37, Tatyana clearly remembers the years when she cut her thighs: “I grew up in a family where it was forbidden to complain - my parents did not understand this. As a teenager, I could not find words to express all that tormented me at that moment, and I began to cut myself. Now I understand that it was a way not only to deceive adults, but also to console myself: now I know why I feel so bad.

In our family it was forbidden to complain. As a teenager, I could not find words to express everything that tormented me at that moment, and I began to cut myself

Many modern teenagers, like Tatyana once, find it difficult to express their feelings - they do not know themselves enough, and they are frightened by adults' distrust of their feelings. In addition, many simply do not know how to speak openly and honestly about themselves. Having no other means to relieve mental stress, teenagers force themselves to experience pain.

“In this way, they struggle with immeasurably great suffering,” says psychotherapist Elena Vrono, “after all, it is difficult to trust yourself if you are sure that no one understands you, and the world is hostile. And even if it’s not, many teenagers’ behavior is driven by this very idea of ​​themselves and the world.” However, their actions, which frighten adults, are not connected with the desire to part with life. On the contrary, they confirm the desire to live - to cope with suffering and restore peace of mind.

Pain relief

The paradox of the moment is that teenagers experience damage to their bodies. infantile feeling of own omnipotence. “The body remains the only reality that completely belongs only to them,” explains Inna Khamitova. - By damaging it, they can stop at any moment. By controlling their bodies in such a wild (from the point of view of adults) way, they feel that they are in control of their lives. And it reconciles them with reality.”

And yet, their frightening behavior speaks of a desire to live - to cope with suffering and regain their peace of mind.

Physical pain always muffles the mental one, which they cannot control, because you cannot force the one you love yourself to love, you cannot change your parents ... It can also indicate experienced violence (mental, physical or sexual).

“By demonstrating the wounds that a teenager inflicted on himself,” says sociologist David le Breton, “he unconsciously draws attention to those that are not visible. The cruelty that children show towards themselves allows them not to show it towards others. It acts in the manner of bloodletting in ancient times: it relieves excessive internal tension.

They hurt themselves so they don't feel pain anymore. Many teenagers talk about the feeling of relief that comes with self-inflicted injuries. 20-year-old Galina also writes about this: “After the cuts, moments of absolute happiness came. All the dark feelings seemed to flow out of me along with the blood. I stretched out on the bed, and I finally felt better.” It is this kind of appeasement that entails the risk of becoming addicted: destroying yourself in order to feel better. It is based on the analgesic effect of the action of endorphins - hormones that are produced in the body to drown out pain.

family frames

“I cut myself from about 14 to 17 years old,” recalls 27-year-old Boris. - And he stopped only when, becoming a student, he left home. Today, thanks to psychoanalysis, I have come to the conclusion that this is how I experienced my mother's dislike. She did not want me to be born and made me understand this every day. For her, I was the most worthless creature who will never achieve anything. I felt terrible guilt and regularly punished myself for not being worthy of her love.”

“A child who lacked gentle touches in the first years of life, growing up, can continue to experience this painfully,” explains Elena Vrono. - The body, which he never perceived as a source of pleasant sensations, remains detached, external to his personality. Injuring himself, he seems to destroy the boundary between the inner and the outer.”

Cuts and wounds on visible parts of the body help children to attract the attention of adults to themselves. These are signals that parents can no longer dismiss, attributing them to the peculiarities of the transition period.

Parents can exacerbate the suffering of teenagers. “Out of the best of intentions, many of them try not to praise their children, as if they could be spoiled by this,” says Inna Khamitova. - But children at any age need support and approval. They believe what we tell them. If adults constantly criticize the child, the child gets used to the idea that he is a bad (ugly, clumsy, cowardly) person. Self-harm can also become revenge on yourself for a sensitive teenager, punishment for being so bad.

But by hating themselves, teens don't realize that they actually hate what others think of themselves. This is confirmed by 16-year-old Anna: “Recently, I had a big fight with my best friend. She told me terrible things - that I didn't love anyone and that no one would ever love me. At home, I felt so bad that I scratched all my knuckles on the plaster.

A teenager thinks something like this: “At least in relation to myself I will act as I want.” And always cuts and wounds on visible parts of the body help children to attract the attention of adults to themselves. These are signals that parents can no longer dismiss, writing them off as features of the transition period.

risk boundary

It is important to understand the difference between single strength tests (“can I stand this?”), blood-written vows of friendship, and repeated self-torture. The former are associated either with recognizing one's "new" body and experimenting with it, searching for new sensations, or with rituals that exist among peers. These are transitory signs of the search for oneself. Constantly trying to hurt yourself is a clear signal for parents to seek professional help. But in every case when teenagers show aggression towards themselves, it is necessary to understand what they want to say. And we must listen to them.

What to do?

Teenagers seek understanding and at the same time carefully protect their inner world from annoying intrusions. They want to talk - but they can't express themselves. “And therefore,” our experts believe, “perhaps the best interlocutor at this moment will not be parents who find it difficult to remain passive listeners, but one of their relatives or acquaintances who can be there, sympathize and not panic.”

Sometimes it's enough to stop a child. good thrashing from parents. In such a paradoxical way, they make it clear that he has gone too far, and express concern. But if such behavior becomes a habit or the wounds pose a threat to life, it is better to consult a psychologist without delay. It is especially important to do this in the case when a teenager closes in on himself, begins to study poorly, feels constant drowsiness, loses his appetite - such symptoms can be a sign of more serious psychological problems.

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Cut yourself a disease

After a hard day at work, Elena wanted only one thing: to sit on the sofa, turn on the TV and relax. But when she entered the kitchen, she realized that this would not happen. Her fourteen-year-old daughter Karina stood in front of the sink. The daughter's hands were covered in blood.

On the table, among the bloody towels, lay a small blade. Elena stood in front of her daughter and could not believe what she was seeing. What pushes people to hurt themselves and how to help them? Psychologist Olga Silina talks about this.

Self-inflicted violence is the intentional infliction of pain on oneself without the idea of ​​suicide. Usually such people pull out their hair, open wounds, break bones, pierce the body with a nail, etc. This phenomenon is very common. About 1% of the population intentionally hurt themselves.

The explanations for this phenomenon are many and varied. However, most people do it to cope with a difficult situation and make life more bearable. Unfortunately, it is very difficult to cure such people. However, you can help them.

But keep in mind that if the person you want to help doesn't want to, then nothing can be done. The first step is to accept the fact that self-inflicted violence exists and is common. And if you encounter such a problem, do not pretend that nothing is happening. Talk to this person.

By openly discussing this problem, you show him that his problem is important, that you are not afraid to talk to him. Don't think you have nothing to say. Even just explaining that you understand his problem and don’t know where to start the conversation will already help you find a common language with this person.

Talking is a way to get support. In a conversation, you need to give support to another. You can just ask how you can help him. During a conversation, you should speak in a calm, friendly tone. Let go of all negative thoughts at this moment.

Don't think about judgment, because people who hurt themselves are very sensitive. They can immediately understand whether you are with them or not. They feel insincerity and falseness. A person who hurts himself will not do it in front of others. Therefore, the more time you spend with such people, the less likely they will torture themselves.

Many people who hurt themselves cannot openly state it as a problem. Therefore, the friendlier you are, the more open you declare that you are going to help them, the more likely it will work out.

You need to clearly establish boundaries between you and these people. The fact is that they may need your help at any time of the day. And if you are not ready to take on such responsibility, immediately specify the time when you can be contacted.

Trust me it's much smarter than when they need help, you'll either be busy or unable to talk to them. Don't interfere when your friend starts hurting himself. Give him a choice.

When he has the right to hurt himself or not, there is a much greater chance that he will not do it. When you forbid your friend from hurting himself, he does it in defiance. Since such violence is used as an attempt to reduce emotional stress, this choice is important for a person.

Trauma makes them feel shame, humiliation, guilt, loneliness. But at the same time, it is recognized that people who hurt themselves are trying to survive. And you should remember this. Of course, it is very difficult to see a person hurting himself, but you should not forbid it to him, you should not shout, talk about the harm of self-inflicted violence.

Remember that you are trying to help him, not hurt him. Open wounds are a direct expression of emotional pain. One of the reasons for violence is that when a person hurts himself, he transforms internal pain into external pain that can be healed. Wounds become a symbol of suffering.

It is important to understand that these are not just scratches, but really a psychological problem. However, knowing that someone close to you is hurting themselves can cause depression or stress. Therefore, it is better for you to immediately contact a psychotherapist who will not only explain to you the reasons for such violence, but also tell you how you can help.

Sometimes it is really very difficult to ask for help, but understand that it is necessary. Remember that you cannot help anyone while you yourself are in an emotional crisis.

Autoaggression

Auto-aggression or self-harm helps to express feelings that a person is not able to convey in words, move away from his own life, or release emotional pain through physical means. This may provide relief, but only for a short time.

Then the painful sensations return again, and the person again feels the need to injure himself. If you want to break out of this vicious circle, but don't know how to do it, you need to remember this: You deserve to feel better, and this can be achieved without harming yourself.

What is autoaggression?

Self-harm is a physical way to deal with stressful experiences and deep emotional pain. It may sound counterintuitive, but some people try to avoid emotional pain through physical suffering. In such cases, there is a feeling of hopelessness, and self-mutilation becomes the only way to cope with such painful sensations as sadness, emptiness, self-hatred, guilt and rage.

The problem is that this relief does not last long. It's like putting a band-aid on a wound if you need stitches. For a while, the bleeding will stop, but this will not eliminate the cause itself. It also leads to new problems.

Most people who injure themselves physically try to hide the fact from outsiders. Perhaps this is due to shame or fear of being misunderstood. However, hiding who you are and what you really feel, you doom yourself to even greater suffering associated with isolation from society and the outside world. Ultimately, secretiveness and guilt affect your relationships with family and friends, as well as how you perceive yourself. This causes even greater feelings of loneliness, helplessness and hopelessness.

Myths and facts about auto-aggression

Often such topics are taboo for discussion, so people do not understand the motives and reasons why a person inflicts physical harm on himself. Don't let myths get in the way of helping those you care about.

Myth: People who cut themselves and cause other physical harm are just trying to draw attention to themselves.

Fact: The unfortunate truth is that people who physically harm themselves tend to do so in secret. They don't try to manipulate others or get attention. In fact, fear or shame prevents them from seeking help.

Myth: Such people are insane and/or dangerous to others.

Fact: It is true that many people who intentionally harm themselves suffer from depression, constant anxiety, or experience the effects of serious psychological trauma - as do millions of other people who do not harm themselves. Self-harm is their way of dealing with problems. Calling them crazy or dangerous is not correct, and it is unlikely to help.

Myth: People who self-mutilate tend to die.

Fact: Such people often do not want to die. When inflicting physical injury on themselves, they do not seek to commit suicide - in this case, the principle of substitution applies: it is easier for a person suffering from auto-aggression to cope with physical pain than emotional pain - self-harm helps them survive. However, over the longer term, people who engage in self-harm when problems escalate are more likely to commit suicide.

Myth: If the cuts are not very deep, then there is nothing to worry about.

Fact: The severity of cuts says almost nothing about the pain a person is experiencing. Do not think that if the cuts are not deep, then there is nothing to worry about.

Symptoms of auto-aggression

Auto-aggression involves the intentional infliction of any physical harm to oneself. Some of the most common ways people inflict physical harm on themselves include:

• cuts or severe scratches on the skin;
• burning yourself;
• beating yourself or hitting your head against hard objects, walls;
• "throwing" one's body against walls or hard objects;
• sticking objects that bring pain to the skin;
• deliberate containment of already existing wounds (combing, tearing);
• swallowing foreign objects.

The desire to harm oneself can also take on less obvious forms, where a person puts themselves at conscious risk of injury, but does not physically harm themselves, such as driving while intoxicated or at high speeds.

How to recognize auto-aggression?

Since physical injuries can be easily covered with clothing, and psychological experiences can be “hidden” behind calm and measured behavior, it is very difficult to identify auto-aggression. However, there are warning signs to watch out for:

• Unexplained wounds or scars from cuts, bruises, burns, often on the wrists, arms, thighs, or chest.
• Blood stains on clothes, towels or bedding, wipes with blood.
• Sharp objects or cutting tools such as razors, knives, needles, broken glass or bottle caps among the person's belongings.
• Frequent "accidents". Often people who inflict physical injuries on themselves speak of their own clumsiness or inaccuracy in trying to explain the appearance of new signs of mutilation.
• Trying to put on more clothes. Such people tend to wear long sleeves or long pants even in very hot weather.
• Desire to be alone for long periods of time, especially in the bedroom or bathroom.
• Isolation and irritability.

How does self-harm help?

People who inflict self-injury explain their needs for auto-aggression and feelings of the field of committing an act of self-injury as follows:

• “It expresses emotional pain or feelings that I cannot bear. This allows me to get rid of painful internal sensations.
• "It's a way to control my body since I can no longer control anything else in my life."
• “I feel a huge black emptiness in the middle of myself, it’s better to feel pain than not to feel anything at all”
• “After cutting myself, I feel calm and relieved. Emotional pain slowly outweighs physical pain.”

Reasons for a person to physically harm themselves may include:

• Expression of feelings that cannot be expressed in words.
• Releasing the pain and tension that is felt inside.
• A way to feel in control of a situation.
• A way to distract yourself from overwhelming emotions or difficult life circumstances.
• A way to alleviate guilt and punish yourself.
• A way to feel alive, or to feel at least something instead of emptiness.

As soon as you understand the reason for your own auto-aggression, you can find ways to help get rid of it, find other opportunities and / or strength in yourself to survive emotional pain and emptiness.

Why is auto-aggression dangerous?

• Despite the fact that self-aggression provides temporary relief, everything has its price - frequent injuries increase the risk of dangerous infections and the development of incurable diseases.
• The feeling of relief is very brief and is followed by an even deeper sense of shame and self-loathing.
• Auto-aggression does not allow you to look for other ways to cope with the current situation.
• If you do not learn to cope with emotional pain, it can lead to drug addiction, alcoholism or suicide in the future.
• Self-harm can become an addiction. Very often, this turns into a compulsive behavior that seems unstoppable.

Remember, self-harm does not allow you to get rid of or solve the problems that led you to it in the first place, but only temporarily alleviate emotional pain by replacing it with physical pain!

Treatment of autoaggression

Below is a list of effective ways to cope with self-aggression on your own, with the help of loved ones or by contacting a specialist.

If you have already realized that you have a problem and are ready to treat auto-aggression, the first step is to find a person you can trust. It will be scary to start a conversation, but in the end, you will feel a huge relief that you will share your feelings with someone.

Most likely, such a person can be a close friend or relative. Sometimes, it is much easier to talk to an adult who you respect—for example, a teacher, mentor, or acquaintance—who is distant from your situation and perceives it from a different, more positive and constructive point of view.

Tips for starting a conversation about it:

• Focus on your feelings. Focus on what makes you wear injuries.
• Communicate the way you feel comfortable. If you are not comfortable talking about a problem face to face, try to avoid direct contact with the person, limit your communication to e-mail or online chat.
• Give the person time to process the information. In the same way that it can be difficult for people to open up, it can be difficult for people to process and accept information that is being presented to them, especially if the person is a close relative or friend.

Determine the cause of the problem

Understanding the reason why a person does this is the first step on the road to recovery. If you identify the reason why you physically harm yourself, you can find new ways to cope with your feelings - which in turn will reduce the desire to harm yourself.

Find your effective ways to solve problems

If you are doing this to express pain and overwhelming emotions:

• Try to express it in a picture
• Describe your experiences in a personal diary
• Write a song or verse that expresses your feelings
• Write about all the negative emotions, then rip this sheet.
• Listen to music that suits your mood

If you are doing this to calm down:

• Take a bath or shower
• Pet or play with your pet
• Wrap yourself up in a warm blanket
• Massage your neck, hands or feet
• Listen to soothing music

If the cause is a feeling of emptiness:

• Call a friend (it is not necessary to tell him that you are harming yourself physically)
• Take a cold shower
• Place an ice cube in the crook of your arm or leg
• Chew on something with a spicy flavor, like chili or grapefruit
• Go to the site or chat and chat with someone you don't know

If the reason is a desire to express anger:

• Take up physical exercises - dancing, running, jumping, etc.
• Try hitting a pillow or mattress, or screaming into it.
• Squeeze a rubber toy in your hand
• Tear something (a piece of paper or a magazine)
• Make some noise (play an instrument loudly or hit pots)

What is the name of a mental disorder when a person ...

Yes, otherwise. Unconsciously - with schizophrenia. Consciously - perhaps with a manic-depressive psychosis. According to Kretschmer, one state excludes the other.

I put it inaccurately - rather than a "mental disorder", but simply a phenomenon that accompanies such disorders as a symptom or a possible manifestation, or an independent one.

there was an article somewhere that went into detail about the motives for selfdestruction.

a person can be completely normal .. just in this way he copes with emotions that are too strong

self harm

Self-harm (eng. Self-injury, self-harm) is the intentional infliction by a person of various bodily injuries to himself, which are visible for more than a few minutes, usually with an auto-aggressive purpose.

Self-harm comes in many forms. As for serious self-harm (Major self-mutilation - removal of one's eye, castration, amputation of a limb, this rarely happens and is most often a concomitant symptom of psychosis (acute psychotic episode, schizophrenia, manic syndrome, depression), acute alcohol or drug intoxication, transsexualism Patients' explanations for this behavior are usually religious and/or sexual in nature, such as a desire to be a woman or adherence to biblical texts regarding gouging out a sinner's eye, cutting off a criminal's hand, or castration for the glory of God.

Stereotypical self-mutilation is monotonously repeated and sometimes rhythmic actions, for example, when a person hits his head, hits his hands and feet, bites himself. It is usually impossible to recognize the symbolic meaning or any meaningfulness in such behavior. It most often occurs in people with moderate to severe developmental delay, as well as in autism and Tourette's syndrome.

The most common type of self-harm, found throughout the world and in all walks of life, is household self-harm (superficial, moderate self-harm - superficial/moderate). Usually begins in adolescence and includes activities such as hair pulling, skin scratching, nail biting, which are compulsive subtypes, skin cutting, cutting, burning, sticking needles, breaking bones, and preventing wound healing, which are episodic and repetitive subtypes. Recurrent cutting and burning of the skin are the most common types of self-injurious behavior and may be symptoms or accompanying signs of a number of psychiatric disorders, such as borderline, facial and antisocial personality disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder, dissociative disorders, and eating disorders.

There are many myths about self-harm. It is completely incomprehensible to an outsider why something should be done with oneself, because it hurts and traces may remain. It is strange and incomprehensible why this should be done consciously and voluntarily. Someone is simply scared, others immediately have ideas about abnormality, about some kind of terrible complexes, masochism, etc. Part immediately gives out ready-made pseudo-psychological explanations, which in most cases fall completely by. It is often said that:

"This is a failed suicide attempt."

No, it's completely optional. Of course, among people who injure themselves, the number of suicide attempts is higher. But even those who make such attempts still share when they are trying to die and when to hurt themselves or do something similar. And many, on the contrary, never seriously thought about suicide.

"People are trying so hard to get attention."

Naturally, many who injure themselves lack attention, love, and the kindness of friends. As well as others. But this does not mean that they are trying to attract attention with their actions. Usually, in order to attract attention, people dress brightly, try to be polite and helpful, wave their hands, speak loudly, after all. But it's strange to try to attract attention without anyone knowing about it. And the consequences of self-harm are usually hidden in every possible way - they wear long-sleeved clothes, cause damage where no one sees, talk about cats, etc. Often, even close people are not aware of it.

"They are trying to manipulate others."

Yes, sometimes it is like this: it happens that this is an attempt to influence the behavior of parents or acquaintances, but most do not do such things. Again, if no one knows, it is very difficult to manipulate anyone. Self-harm is often not about others, it's about yourself. But sometimes a person, resorting to inflicting damage, is actually trying to say something, this is his cry for help, but he is not heard and is regarded as an attempt to manipulate.

"Those who harm themselves are psychos and they should be sent to a psychiatric hospital accordingly. And they can also be dangerous to society."

First, self-harm is very personal. Often no one except the person himself knows about this. Or only very close friends (or "like-minded people") know. The goal itself is an attempt to cope with your feelings, emotions, pain. And other people don't have anything to do with it. As for the "nuts" - yes, sometimes people with mental disorders (like post-traumatic stress disorder or borderline personality disorder) inflict damage on themselves. Psychological problems do not mean immediate mental illness, much less a hospital.

"If the wound is shallow, then everything is not serious."

There is almost no connection between the severity of damage and the level of mental stress. Different people inflict different damage on themselves, in different ways, they have different pain thresholds, etc. You can't compare.

"It's all about teenage girls."

Not only. The problem is just completely different ages. Moreover, there is more and more data on the percentage of women-men. if earlier it was believed that there were significantly more women, now the ratio is almost evened out.

It is known%3A one pain can be drowned out by another. Does it need to be done? - a question another.

Self harm is the way. A way to fight and partially cope with pain, with too strong emotions, with painful memories and thoughts, with obsessive states. Yes, this is a crooked and stupid way, but not everyone has been taught something more reasonable! Sometimes it is an attempt to cope with too strong emotions, to ease the pain and feel the reality. Physical pain distracts from mental pain and brings you back to reality. Of course, this is not a serious solution, it does not solve all problems, but for a person it works. Often this is an attempt to express something, to splash out, to convey to someone (perhaps for oneself) those feelings that are not clothed in words; this is some not very standard way of talking and telling. And sometime it is an attempt to control oneself, one's emotions and body, namely, punishing oneself with magical logic: "If I do something bad with myself, what I fear will not happen."

And what to do? If the problem of self-harm is your problem, then, of course, you can continue to pull out your hair and bite yourself, or you can set yourself the task of "learning to solve life problems smartly." Yes, you need to learn how to build relationships and learn how to communicate; you need to learn to relax and express your feelings in an acceptable way; yes, no one promises you results right away and an easy life in general, but - but if you decide to solve your issues, you can handle it. I wish you success!

self harm

Self-harm is the intentional infliction of bodily harm to oneself, which is due to internal psychological problems and is not associated with the intention to commit suicide.

The reasons

There are three types of self-torture: serious, stereotypical and moderate.

Serious self-harm is the removal of organs or parts of the body (eyes, ears, limbs, genitals). It is very rare and in most cases has a certain symbolic meaning. Its main reasons are:

• schizophrenia;
• manic syndrome;
• deep depression;
• transsexualism;
• acute drug or alcohol intoxication.

Stereotypical self-harm - rhythmic monotonous actions that harm a person (hitting the head against the wall, biting). It is typical for people with developmental delay, autism and Tourette's syndrome.

Moderate self-harm is manifested in the form of superficial injury to one's own body (cuts, scratches, hair pulling). They are engaged in about 4% of the population. Most of them are teenagers (mostly girls). In addition, a tendency to self-harm is observed among:

• war veterans;
• prisoners;
• homosexuals;
• pupils of boarding schools;
• people who were abused as children.

The main causes of moderate self-harm are various emotional problems: mental pain, inner emptiness, guilt, a desire to attract attention to yourself. In addition, self-harm can be a consequence of taking psychoactive substances or one of the manifestations of mental dysfunctions:

• borderline personality disorder;
• post-traumatic syndrome;
• antisocial disorder;
• depression;
• bipolar affective disorder;
• eating disorders (anorexia, bulimia) and so on.

Pathogenesis

There are three main theories that explain why self-harm becomes a repetitive behavior:

According to the serotonin theory, some people produce insufficient levels of serotonin in their bodies, so they are less able to cope with stressful situations. When applying autodamages, the synthesis of this hormone is activated, and a person feels better.

The opiate theory is as follows. Injury triggers the brain's anti-pain system: natural painkillers - opiates - begin to be produced. They dull the discomfort and cause euphoria. The result is an addiction that causes the person to repeat the self-harm.

Cortisol is a hormone that is synthesized during stressful moments and triggers a cascade of reactions that help protect the body from external aggressive factors. But for some people, the opposite happens - in problem situations, the level of cortisol decreases. They deliberately hurt themselves in order to change the hormonal background and cope with difficulties.

Psychological mechanisms of self-harm:

• replacement of pain - physical discomfort leads to a dulling of emotional suffering;
• increased sensations - pain helps to fill the inner void, and also proves to the patient that he is still alive;
• self-punishment - excessive demands of others or real misconduct make a person punish himself.

Sometimes teenagers try to get the attention of their parents or friends by causing damage. A feature of this situation is the demonstrativeness of injuries, while in other cases people carefully hide the traces of self-mutilation.

Symptoms

Self-harm in adolescents can manifest itself in such forms as:

• skin cuts with sharp objects;
• self-scratching of the skin;
• burns;
• preventing wound healing;
• infringement of body parts;
• hair pulling;
• breaking bones;
• needle sticking.

In addition, many experts attribute self-harm to the use of toxic substances, overeating and starvation.

The most commonly injured are the arms, legs and front of the torso. A person can use several methods of inflicting damage. The reason for self-harm is any situation that causes anxiety or tension. As a rule, people torture themselves alone. On rare occasions, teenagers do this in small groups.

The main sign of skin self-damage is the presence of traces (cuts, bruises, scars, burns). Usually a person hides them under clothes or explains them with careless behavior. He often carries sharp objects with him.

As a rule, the disorder is accompanied by other symptoms, including:

• difficulties in establishing interpersonal relationships;
• tendency to reflection;
• impulsivity, anxiety, behavioral instability;
• dissatisfaction with life and so on.

Diagnostics

Having found signs of self-harm with sharp objects in a teenager, it is necessary to consult a psychologist. During the conversation, the doctor will conduct a survey and establish the causes of auto-aggressive behavior. If necessary, he will refer the patient to a psychiatrist for a clinical diagnosis.

In addition, an examination by a dermatologist, traumatologist or therapist may be required to determine the nature and severity of the damage.

Treatment

How to get rid of the tendency to self-harm? First of all, it is necessary for the patient to recognize the problem, and also to find out its causes together with the psychologist. Often a teenager cannot explain why he hurts himself. To find out the underlying prerequisites for auto-aggressive behavior is obtained only with the help of psychoanalysis.

The self-harm treatment algorithm is selected individually. It may include one or more areas of psychotherapy:

• cognitive behavioral therapy;
• dialectical behavior therapy;
• techniques, the purpose of which is the development of inner awareness.

Medicines can be used - antidepressants, tranquilizers, antipsychotics, and so on. Their intake must be supervised by a doctor.

In order to effectively deal with self-harm, the patient needs to adjust their behavior. Experts recommend gradually replacing the habit of cutting or scratching yourself in anxious situations with less traumatic actions. For example, put on an elastic band around your wrist and pull it when you want to injure yourself. Other substitution options are screaming, punching bag punching, paper tearing

In addition, the patient should be distracted from obsessive thoughts through physical exercise, walking, dancing, music, and so on. If a person suffers from inner emptiness, a cold shower can be used as an enhancer of sensations.

Self-harm in adolescents requires the involvement of the whole family. It is necessary to support the child and discuss his feelings with him.

Forecast

Possible consequences of self-harm in adolescence:

• consolidation of a behavioral scheme based on the use of auto-aggression instead of constructive decisions in difficult life situations;
• wound infection;
• the formation of scars and mutilations;
• causing life-threatening injuries.

Competent psychotherapeutic help allows you to correct behavior and eliminate the tendency to self-harm.

Prevention

Prevention of self-harm consists in the timely solution of psychological problems and the treatment of behavioral disorders.

What kind of disease is when a person cuts himself? and more details please. it's very interesting

Some people who cut themselves do it to experience pain, some just to see the blood.

By definition and observations, this disease never leads to suicide, that is, people are limited to "self-mutilation" without a fatal outcome.

Interestingly, this disease is less common among men than among women.

Very often people who do this feel lonely. As a result, they want people to pay more attention to them, and self-inflicted bodily harm is one way to get attention.

Very often, this disease is periodical, after a certain period of bodily injury to oneself, a person calms down, but the disease does not disappear, but takes on a different form. For example "Bulimia", "Anorexia" or manic-depressive state.

Unfortunately, for people with this disease, self-injury is the main way to solve life's problems.

Of course, to get rid of this problem, you need the help of a qualified specialist.

But the first thing a person should do is to stop being ashamed of this disease, to understand that he is not the only one and this is to be treated.

It turns out that about 0.75% of the world's population suffer from this deviation to one degree or another.

Self-mutilation: harming oneself

Self-mutilation is when someone intentionally and repeatedly harms themselves with cutting objects, fire, hands. Also, people with this disorder may drink things that are harmful, such as bleach or detergent.

It is estimated that about two million people in the US hurt themselves in some way. Adolescents and young adult women are more likely to be affected than young adults.

Often, people say that they are trying to express emotional pain or feelings that they cannot express in words.

It can be like having control over your body when you can't control anything else in your life.

Although people generally do not attempt to kill themselves, sometimes they are unable to control their injuries and may die by accident.

How can I help a friend

Ask about it. If your friend is suffering, he may be glad you bring it up.

Offer options for a way out of the situation, but do not tell him what he should do.

Contact Support. Tell an adult you trust. This person can help your friend. You may feel that you have no right to tell anyone else. But remember, you can talk to mental health professionals about how the situation is affecting you, or you can get more information and advice from any number of organizations.

Remember, you are not responsible for stopping self-destruction. You can't get your friend to stop hurting himself or get help from a professional. He must want to help himself.

How can I help myself?

Know that you can help yourself. Treatment is available for people who have a tendency to self-harm. To learn about treatments, try talking to a professional person, such as a psychologist.

Understand that you are not alone. Many people suffer from the desire to harm themselves.

Get help. Now is the best time to deal with this problem.

Self-mutilation is the intentional, non-single, impulsive, non-lethal infliction of harm on oneself.

Self-mutilation includes:

1) use of cutting objects, 2) scratches, 3) a person can interfere with the healing of existing wounds, 4) burns with his own hands, 5) hitting himself 6) specially infecting himself, 7) inserting objects into body openings, 8) bruises and fractures, 9) other various forms of bodily injury.

These behaviors pose a serious danger, may be symptoms of a mental disorder that can be treated.

Signs that someone is hurting themselves include: frequent unexplained injuries including cuts and burns, the person may wear long trousers and long sleeves in warm weather, low self-esteem, difficulty processing feelings, relationship problems, and poor functioning at work, school, or at home.

Models and causes of behavior.

Many self-harm using multiple methods. Cuts on the legs or arms are the most common practice.

Reasons for behavior. Self-harming people often report feeling empty inside, unable to express their feelings, lonely, misunderstood by others. They are afraid of intimate relationships and adult responsibilities.

Self-harm is their way of coping or alleviating painful experiences, expressing their feelings, and is generally not a suicide attempt.

The diagnosis for those who self-harm can be determined by a psychotherapist. Self-harm can be one of the symptoms of some mental illnesses: personality disorders (especially borderline personality disorder); bipolar disorder (manic depression); clinical depression, anxiety disorders, and symptoms of psychoses such as schizophrenia.

Self-mutilation treatment

Treatment options include outpatient treatment, partial hospitalization. The most commonly used treatments for self-harm are a combination of medications, cognitive and behavioral therapy, interpersonal therapy, and other forms of treatment.

Medication is often helpful in managing depression, anxiety, and obsessive-compulsive behavior. Cognitive and behavioral therapy helps people understand and manage their destructive thoughts and behaviors. Interpersonal therapy assists individuals in gaining understanding and developing relationship skills.

Self-harm: why teenagers harm themselves

Some teenagers self-harm. For others, such behavior is stupidity, foolishness, or "a cheap way to attract attention." Families usually try to hide this fact, regarding it as a shame and a defect in their upbringing. However, this problem is much more complex and broader than it seems at first glance.

When children reach adolescence, parents face a whole host of behavioral problems. As you know, all children are different, and especially their difference becomes visible during this period. Someone goes through this stage of growing up easier, someone has difficulties. Of course, parents are primarily afraid now that their son or daughter will be involved in some kind of criminal activity, or that he or she will become addicted to alcohol, drugs, turn into a gamer. This, of course, is terrible, but, nevertheless, this is not all.

This phenomenon is not much talked about. For others, such behavior is stupidity, foolishness, or "a cheap way to attract attention." Families usually try to hide this fact, regarding it as a shame and a defect in their upbringing. However, this problem is much more complex and broader than it seems at first glance.

Self-harm refers to a wide range of different types of harmful effects on oneself. And although, in principle, smoking can also be attributed to self-harm, the term primarily refers to the application of various kinds of injuries and bruises. And the most important thing in this case is the absence of suicidal intentions. That is, the teenager injures himself, but does not want to kill.

In total, 1-4% of the population is engaged in self-harm in the population. The vast majority of them are teenagers, but there are also adults. Of course, there are those who harm themselves in some way only once in their entire lives. However, for some people, this behavior becomes habitual.

Usually self-inflicted damage for 2 main reasons. The teen either has too many emotions that they can't handle and the pain of self-harm gives them an outlet. Either there are no emotions at all, he feels insensitive and inflicting a wound or bruise on himself gives him the opportunity to feel alive. Be that as it may, after hurting himself, a teenager feels not only relief, but also euphoria. Some say that pain and flowing blood cause very pleasant experiences, interrupting those negative emotions that tormented before the act of self-harm.

There are 3 main theories that explain why this behavior can be repeated:

1. Serotonin - some people have an insufficient level of serotonin in the brain and, therefore, they cope worse with stressful situations. Pain causes a rise in serotonin and improves overall well-being.

2. Opiate - during the infliction of a wound or bruise, the analgesic system of the brain (antinociceptive) begins to act. Opiates produced in the brain are our main natural pain reliever. Thanks to them, severe pain can be “blunted. In addition, these substances can cause euphoria. A person who regularly injures himself may become addicted to these effects and repeat them over and over again.

3. Cortisol - Cortisol is a stress hormone. In order for the body to cope with the harmful effects of the environment, this hormone must reach a certain level and involve other body systems in a “stress cascade”. Thanks to him, every link and every organ begins to work in a “stress mode” protecting us from harmful substances from the outside.

External causes of self-harm can be:

1. Dysfunctional family (divorce or the situation “we will live together only for the sake of children”)

2. Perfectionism of a teenager and his environment. If you did not do everything perfectly, you are worthy of punishment and there is no forgiveness for you.

3. Influence of friends. There are situations when friends give a model of behavior in difficult life cases.

4. Experienced sexual abuse.

5. Information in the media when self-harm is presented as a solution to the problem. “The boy cut his veins, and immediately everyone around realized that they were wrong”

In general, there are 3 types of self-harm:

1. Impulsive - when a teenager harms himself under the influence of a strong influx of emotions. It happens automatically, without thinking and without even maturing the intention to do it.

2. Stereotypical - monotonous application of most often bruises. Such self-harm is often characteristic of persons with mental retardation and those who suffer from autism of varying degrees of severity.

3. Compulsive - happening under the influence of obsessive thoughts.

In addition, according to the severity of self-harm can be:

1. Severe - life threatening.

2. Moderate - requiring medical intervention and treatment.

3. Mild - those that do not require medical intervention or those that require a minimum amount of assistance.

Why does a teenager need help, even if he is not mentally ill?

1. Some people may become addicted to this behavior given the involvement of endogenous opiates in the process. Accordingly, self-harm can be used for pleasure.

2. Formation of the habit of solving problems through self-aggression. Needless to say, people around get scared and become more accommodating.

3. The formation of a behavioral scheme that is included in all life activities and self-aggression becomes an ordinary routine.

4. Self-harm becomes a way to respond to stress. Those. It's easier to hurt yourself than to constructively solve something.

Despite the fact that it may seem that a teenager is doing all this on purpose, he really often finds it difficult to say why he cut himself or did something like that. At the moment of an attack on one's body, consciousness can narrow and the awareness of behavior can drop significantly.

Some adolescents commit aggressive actions towards themselves in a really defiant way. If we talk about self-cutting in such cases, then they are usually thin and superficial. It is evident that the man spared himself. They are often done in prominent places, but never on the face or hands. At the same time, attention is drawn to the behavior in which a teenager seeks to arouse pity and guilt in those around him, tries to openly manipulate, threatens to hurt himself something again if others behave the way he does not like.

There is an opinion among the people that one should not pay attention to such manipulators and provocateurs. However, a teenager does this not to annoy his parents, but also because of personal problems. This means that he does not cope with his life's difficulties in a different way. Often, parents with such a child begin to play a game of who is stronger in will and character, and the child, in an attempt to prove that his threats are not empty, but real, causes significant harm to himself or commits an involuntary suicide. Those. death is not planned as such, it just happens.

More often, there is no demonstrativeness in self-harm. Teenagers hide the scars from self-cutting, they are embarrassed to talk about them. Even if the damage is familiar, an area is still selected that is not very visible to outsiders and can easily be hidden under clothing.

If a teenager has injured himself or any other injury, especially if this has happened more than once, parents should pay close attention to this. No need to wait for "everything will pass by itself" and "grow". Even if one of the parents himself cut his veins or hit his head against the walls at a young age, and everything went away for him, it does not mean that everything will work out with the child too. Even if things get better with time, self-cutting scars can be a stigma for the rest of your life.

If this happens, it is advisable for the child to consult a psychiatrist. If someone is afraid of registration, you can contact a private doctor. This is necessary to resolve the issue of whether the child has a mental illness or is it a violation of adaptation or problems in his life that he cannot solve. Depending on what the doctor finds, it will be possible to decide how much help is needed.

And all this will work pretty poorly if the teenager does not have the support of the family. If he is looked upon as a traitor and a lunatic who cannot be trusted. Perhaps parents themselves will need to look at themselves from the outside and take steps towards changes within the family.

Self-harm (self-harm) or neurotic excoriation- a problem with which two sciences work at once: dermatology and psychology.

Recently, a new direction has even appeared, called psychodermatology, which explores the connection between mental disorders and diseases of the skin.

Indeed, many dermatological diseases are of a psychosomatic nature and patients need the help of both a dermatovenereologist and a psychotherapist.

About 15% of all skin diseases are associated with neurotic disorders, and 20% of patients who undergo psychotherapeutic treatment have dermatological symptoms.

Neurotic excoriations are considered the most common dermatosis that the patient causes independently.

The essence of the disease is that the patient, experiencing nervous tension, performs certain actions, the purpose of which is to damage the skin.

As a result, excoriations appear: scratches, scratches, cuts and subcutaneous hemorrhages.

Scars sometimes even appear at the site of damage. At the moment, there is no reliable statistics on the frequency of occurrence of neurotic excoriations.

However, it is known that women are more likely to engage in self-harm than men. Most often, the first signs of excoriations appear at a fairly early age, which makes them similar to such childhood neurotic ailments as (compulsive nail biting) and (pulling out hair on the head and body).

Myths and truth

In our society, the problem of self-cutting and self-harm is not accepted to be discussed: it is taboo. Because of this, thousands of people are mistaken about themselves and others, attributing false motives and beliefs to people engaged in self-harming. Do not follow the myths and refuse help or try to help a loved one. A number of myths regarding self-harm will be described below.

Myth 1. People who cut or otherwise injure their skin are only trying to draw attention to themselves.

Truth. Most people who experience self-harm hide it from others. They do not set themselves the goal of manipulating others or attracting attention to themselves, on the contrary, shame does not give them the opportunity to speak openly about their problem.

Myth 2. If a person injures himself, he may be crazy or dangerous to others.

Truth. Indeed, people who engage in self-harm are often quite anxious, prone to depression, or have a history of psychological trauma. However, millions of people who do not injure themselves have similar problems.

Self-harming is just a way that makes it possible to survive a difficult situation. Labeling such a person is wrong and even dangerous.

Myth 3. If a person engages in self-harming, he is likely to commit suicide soon.
Truth. By harming himself and causing pain, a person tries not to commit suicide, but to overcome his pain. We can say that for such a person self-harming is a way to survive. However, in the long term, suicide is still possible, especially if a person does not seek help in time or is criticized and ridiculed for their actions.

Myth 4. If the wounds are not deep and there are no true suicide attempts, then things are not going so badly.
Truth. The severity of self-inflicted wounds is not an indicator of the severity of subjective experiences. Therefore, one should not assume that if a person inflicted “a few scratches” on himself, he worries little.

The reasons

Psychologists identify several causes of neurotic excoriation. However, the main reason for the desire to inflict damage on oneself is the presence of a neurotic disorder, in each case requiring an individual approach to therapy.

The symptoms of neurotic excoriation can vary greatly from patient to patient. Manifestations range from subtle abrasions to deep, life-threatening cuts. Depending on the severity of self-harm, they can either disappear without a trace or leave behind scars and keloid scars. Often you can notice on the skin of patients the so-called "white skin atrophy", which occurs in the case of the habit of peeling off the crust from healing wounds.

1. If the neurotic disorder began a long time ago, the patient's skin will show visible lesions in varying degrees of development: from recent to almost healed.
2. Patients can injure themselves, both with their own fingers and with tools such as razor blades, needles, and even eating utensils.
3. The main feature of neurotic excoriations is that the lesions are always located in areas to which the patient has easy access. For example, if the lesions are located in the middle of the back, the patient is likely to have been abused.
4. In the presence of neurotic excoriations, the patient may complain of intolerable skin itching, which makes them scratch their skin. Relief occurs only if the patient combs the skin to the blood or breaks off the crusts on it.
5. Itching of the skin can be both local and widespread throughout the skin. Itching becomes more pronounced when the patient is in a situation of stress, conflict or nervous tension.

Treatment

Getting rid of self-damaging behavior without professional help is almost impossible, a person should turn to a psychologist. Mild sedatives, such as herbal teas, valerian tincture, etc., can alleviate the condition.

If self-harm is severe, only antidepressants and neuroleptics can help, which only a doctor can prescribe. A great distraction can be physical activity, such as running or regular trips to the gym. During classes, a person “resets” the accumulated emotional burden.

Wound healing and moisturizing ointments and creams should be applied to damaged skin. The resulting crusts must be treated with antiseptic solutions to prevent infection.

It is also advisable to refuse products that can provoke the development of allergic reactions: chocolate, oranges. To stabilize the nervous system, it is recommended to reduce the use of tonic drinks (tea and coffee), replacing them with herbal decoctions.

Practice shows that the longer the “experience” of self-harming, the more difficult it is to cope with this problem. We can say that the patient falls into a vicious circle: he experiences stress, begins to comb the skin and damages it, as a result of which a certain stereotypical pattern of behavior is fixed.

If in the early stages patients are able to control their behavior and not damage the skin when other people look at them, then in the future it becomes increasingly difficult for them to control themselves.

The basis of the treatment of neurotic excoriations is the elimination of the psychological ailment, which played the role of a trigger.

Therapy can take a long time and does not always bring quick success. Treatment should be comprehensive and, in addition to working with a psychotherapist, include:

• getting rid of negative stimuli, it is advisable to quit a job that causes stress, stop communicating with people who are unpleasant to the patient, etc .;
• bandages that protect the skin from damage help to alleviate the condition of patients;
• a good result brings pharmacological therapy, for example, antidepressants, sedatives, etc.;
• in the West, hypnosis is often used to treat the disorder.

We must not forget that the main problem of self-harm is not skin damage: as a rule, self-harm signals serious psychological problems. Therapy requires the intervention of a number of specialists. And if help is not provided in a timely manner, the disorder will progress.

Teenage self-harm

In recent years, there has been an increase in the number of adolescents causing self-harm. It can be said that a “fashion” for self-harm has appeared.

Teenagers cut themselves with knives and razors, which allows them to drown out psychological pain and negative experiences. Physical pain helps teens gain emotional control.

If earlier the tendency to self-harm was observed only among the low-income and marginalized segments of the population, now it has spread to the whole society.

Even special Internet resources are being created for lovers of cuts. Participants of forums and groups on social networks take photos and videos of the process of self-harm and upload videos and pictures to the network.

The problem is aggravated by incompetent journalists who are not able to highlight the essence of the problem and send teenagers for help. Parents often do not pay attention to the fact that a teenager cuts his skin or seek to hide this fact, regarding it as their own failure. However, the problem of self-harming is much deeper than it might seem, and requires the intervention of a psychologist or psychotherapist.

Risk group

Teenagers may self-harm for two reasons:

• an attempt to suppress emotions and get away from negative experiences;
• an attempt to evoke any emotions (sometimes adolescents feel their own
• insensitivity and strive to feel alive).

The factors that provoke self-harming are the following:

• negative family environment, for example, constant conflicts between parents;
• excessive perfectionism of a teenager;
• the influence of peers who may consider self-harming a manifestation of their own uniqueness and dissimilarity to others;
• sexual violence;
• the presence of a neurotic disorder;
• the formation of dependence, in which harming and inflicting pain on oneself becomes a way to get rid of oppressive experiences.

Often a teenager cannot say for what reasons he harms himself. Some teenagers do self-harming to try and manipulate others. In this case, the cuts are quite thin and do not reach the deep layers of the skin. The main "beacon" indicating demonstrative behavior is the presence of cuts in conspicuous places and the desire to cause guilt or pity. However, do not scold a teenager: self-harm in any case signals deep personal problems. In addition, more often there is no demonstrativeness in self-harming and the teenager seeks to hide the scars and does not seek to discuss the problem with relatives.

Help the seedling

You can help your teenager in the following ways:

1. If parents notice the presence of self-cuts, they should not pretend that nothing is happening. It is important to talk with the child, openly discuss the problem.
2. You need to see a psychologist. Parents can go to the first appointment without the child to get advice on their future actions.
3. Parents should give up pressure on a teenager and not make excessive demands on him.

Usually, working with a psychologist is needed in order to build trusting relationships in the family. If emotional support from parents and trust in the family are absent, the problem cannot be solved.

Self-harm is a rather serious problem that in no case should be hushed up. If your relative or friend cuts himself, don't judge him or say he's doing it to get attention.

A confidential conversation can help, during which you should convey to the person that he needs professional help.

Remember: if a person has shared his problem with you, you can not make fun of him or neglect his experiences, this can lead to stress and the appearance of new cuts!

• September 4, 2018
• Psychiatry
• Michail Shattrie

The topic of self-harm in society is one of the most taboo and hushed up problems. Such behavior is condemned in every possible way, and no one is interested in its reasons. For others, people who torture their bodies seem infantile, problematic, stupid. It is believed that in this way they are trying to attract attention to themselves. Another reason why people cut themselves is alcohol or drug addiction.

What it is?

The majority is of the opinion that only teenagers of recent decades cause physical harm to themselves. The reason for this is called a huge amount of violence and information overload. However, how to cut yourself has been known since ancient times. Religious fanatics resorted to various methods of self-torture, believing that the soul is cleansed by the suffering of the body. Physical pain can really temporarily drown out the pain of the soul. But why do teenagers and adults actually cut themselves, and what provokes such aspirations?

Self-harm is the infliction of deliberate damage to one's body for internal reasons without suicidal intent. It is considered a symptom of some mental disorders. Among them are borderline personality disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, schizophrenia, bulimia, anorexia, bipolar disorder and others. But people can cut themselves without a clinical diagnosis, but this is often associated with depression, anxiety and other mental health problems.

Common types of self-harm:

1. Cuts on the palms, wrists and thighs.
2. Scratching the skin to the blood.
3. Burns.
4. Throwing the body on hard surfaces, hitting the head against the walls.
5. Self-suffocation, squeezing of the head.
6. Prevention of healing of wounds and scratches, their constant opening.
7. Swallowing inedible objects.
8. Piercing the skin with sharp and piercing objects.

Damage types

The described damage can be divided into the following types:

• impulsive. A person (often a teenager) inflicts damage on himself under the strongest influx of emotions. This happens without intention and desire, unexpectedly, thoughtlessly and automatically.
• Stereotypical. People with the stereotypical type of self-harm tend to bruise themselves most of the time. It is typical for people suffering from autism or developmental delay.
• Compulsive or moderate. Obsessive thoughts force a person to inflict physical harm on himself. May be present in individuals of any age group.

The reasons

This behavior is explained by two theories related to physiology:

1. serotonin theory. The lack of serotonin in some people leads to the fact that they do not cope well with stress and begin to cut themselves. Pain causes a surge of serotonin and improves a person's well-being.
2. opiate theory. The anti-pain system of the brain is activated during bruises and injuries. Opiates are natural pain relievers that dull pain and cause euphoria. People who regularly self-harm can become accustomed to such effects.

The causes of self-harm can be both internal and external. Most often, this behavior hides the person's attempts to cope with emotional discomfort. Any stressful situations can become the motive for starting to cut yourself. For example, reasons could be:

• Intra-family problems: abuse, divorce proceedings, tyranny of the wife or husband, neglect, excessive strictness of parents.
• Own impotence, resentment.
• Experienced sexual abuse.

Why don't people find other ways to deal with emotional stress?

In medicine, the desire for self-harm is explained by the presence of the following reasons:

1. Low self-esteem. Teenagers who get sick when they cut themselves often have low self-esteem. They consider themselves ugly, stupid, worthless, uninteresting, they do not see anything significant in themselves and their lives.
2. Perfectionism, exaggerated demands. In order to relax and rejoice, a teenager requires impossible conditions. This is due to high expectations and a high bar set by parents, school, loved one, friends. The highly competitive environment in which he finds himself also has its influence. Beauty standards, educational achievements and social status can be the subject of competition. Adolescents in such conditions are subconsciously convinced that everything must be perfect, otherwise they have to punish themselves.
3. emotional vulnerability. Cold relationships in the family are also one of the causes of self-harm. Such behavior is provoked by a peculiar culture of attitude to the emotional component. Adolescents living in such conditions are emotionally incompetent, have difficulty understanding their own emotions and expressing them. The wrong attitude emotionally leads to the fact that adolescents cannot seek help from loved ones.

myths

The topic of self-torture is shrouded in a huge number of myths. Healthy people do not want to delve into the problem, do not know the names of people who cut themselves, and are of the opinion that they are abnormal.

Myth #1: A failed suicide attempt

The difference between those who did not think of suicide and those who made an unsuccessful attempt is very clear and easy to trace. Someone wants to get rid of suffering, someone - pain. The vast majority of those who practice self-torture have never thought about suicide.

Myth #2: It only affects teenage girls

An unfounded stereotype, quite common in society. Self-torture is a problem of all social strata, ages and genders. The percentage of men and women suffering from this disorder is approximately the same.

Myth #3: Getting attention

People who hurt themselves need love, attention and a good attitude from others and loved ones, but this does not mean that they are trying to attract attention by self-torture. People who find themselves in such a situation try to stand out in appearance and behavior: they either dress brightly or have excellent manners and politeness. The consequences of self-harm are never revealed, but are hidden and hushed up by wearing long sleeves or inflicting injuries in hidden places.

Myth No. 4: a method of manipulating people

Such a method of self-harm in psychiatry is extremely rare. A person with such behavior is trying to influence relatives and friends. Self-injury is a cry for help that is perceived by others as a demonstration. It is impossible to manipulate people in this way, because no one knows about the subject of manipulation.

Myth #5: Minor wounds are not serious.

The level of mental stress and the depth of physical damage are not related to each other. The conditions and problems that people face, as well as the ways of injury, differ.

Myth #6: People who torture themselves are abnormal and dangerous to society.

People with mental disorders, such as post-traumatic stress disorder or borderline personality disorder, may self-harm. Such behavior is in no way dangerous to others and does not require hospitalization and maintenance in dispensaries.

Self-harm is a very personal process. The person does not spread about it and keeps it secret. The main goal of torture is to overcome internal problems, an attempt to cope with one's own emotions and pain.

How to stop cutting yourself?

A person believes that he has no way out, and the only way to cope with stress is to inflict physical pain on himself. However, the problem lies in the fact that the relief brought by self-torture is short-lived.

From the point of view of psychiatry, the desire to cut veins and harm oneself is a complex problem that needs therapy and the help of specialists. In some situations, you can solve it on your own: for example, if the desire to harm yourself is not implemented in practice or does not manifest itself very clearly.

The main thing in therapy is to determine one's own emotions and find among them a feeling that acts as an impulse that provokes the infliction of pain on one's own body. In self-analysis, it is important not to make mistakes. Depending on the internal problems and emotional sensations, the methods of therapy change. It is impossible to solve a problem without determining its root.

Methods of psychological assistance

Psychologists help to determine the cause of the problem if the patient cannot do this on their own. In most cases, the latter cannot explain why they specifically harm themselves. Depth psychoanalysis helps to determine the prerequisites for such behavior.

The method of treatment is selected individually and may include the use of drug therapy. The intake of medications is strictly controlled by a doctor. The maximum effect in the fight against self-torture can be achieved by cognitive-behavioral therapy. Psychotherapists advise patients to replace the habit of cutting veins or cauterizing themselves with any other non-traumatic activity. For example, you can start tearing paper.

To distract from obsessive thoughts will help to replace them with your favorite business or hobby. If the harm is being done for the purpose of eliciting certain emotions, then a cold shower may help to increase the sensations.

Auto-aggression or self-harm helps to express feelings that a person is not able to convey in words, move away from his own life, or release emotional pain through physical means. This may provide relief, but only for a short time.

Fast passage:

What is autoaggression?

Self-harm is a physical way to cope with stress-related experiences and deep emotional pain. It may sound counterintuitive, but some people try to avoid emotional pain through physical suffering. In such cases, there is a feeling of hopelessness, and self-mutilation becomes the only way to cope with such painful sensations as sadness, emptiness, self-hatred, guilt and rage.

The problem is that this relief does not last long. It's like putting a band-aid on a wound if you need stitches. For a while, the bleeding will stop, but this will not eliminate the cause itself. It also leads to new problems.

Most people who injure themselves physically try to hide the fact from outsiders. Perhaps this is due to shame or fear of being misunderstood. However, hiding who you are and what you really feel, you doom yourself to even greater suffering associated with isolation from society and the outside world. Ultimately, secretiveness and guilt affect your relationships with family and friends, as well as how you perceive yourself. This causes even greater feelings of loneliness, helplessness and hopelessness.

Myths and facts about auto-aggression

Often such topics are taboo for discussion, so people do not understand the motives and reasons why a person inflicts physical harm on himself. Don't let myths get in the way of helping those you care about.

Myth: People who cut themselves and cause other physical harm are just trying to draw attention to themselves.

Fact: The bitter truth is that people who physically harm themselves tend to do so in secret. They don't try to manipulate others or get attention. In fact, fear or shame prevents them from seeking help.

Myth: Such people are insane and/or dangerous to others.

Fact: It is true that many people who deliberately harm themselves suffer from depression, constant anxiety, or the effects of serious psychological trauma - as do millions of other people who do not harm themselves. Self-harm is their way of coping with problems. Calling them crazy or dangerous is not correct, and it is unlikely to help.

Myth: People who self-mutilate tend to die.

Fact: Such people often do not want to die. When inflicting physical injury on themselves, they do not seek to commit suicide - in this case, the principle of substitution applies: it is easier for a person suffering from auto-aggression to cope with physical pain than emotional pain - self-harm helps them survive. However, over the longer term, people who engage in self-harm when problems escalate are more likely to commit suicide.

Myth: If the cuts are not very deep, then there is nothing to worry about.

Fact: The severity of cuts says almost nothing about the pain a person is experiencing. Do not think that if the cuts are not deep, then there is nothing to worry about.

Symptoms of auto-aggression

Auto-aggression involves the intentional infliction of any physical harm to oneself. Some of the most common ways people inflict physical harm on themselves include:

• cuts or severe scratches on the skin;
• burning yourself;
• beating yourself or hitting your head against hard objects, walls;
• "throwing" one's body against walls or hard objects;
• sticking objects that bring pain to the skin;
• deliberate containment of already existing wounds (combing, tearing);
• swallowing foreign objects.

The desire to harm oneself can also take on less obvious forms, where a person puts themselves at conscious risk of injury, but does not physically harm themselves, such as driving while intoxicated or at high speeds.

How to recognize auto-aggression?

Since physical injuries can be easily covered with clothing, and psychological experiences can be “hidden” behind calm and measured behavior, it is very difficult to identify auto-aggression. However, there are warning signs to watch out for:

• Unexplained wounds or scars from cuts, bruises, burns, often on the wrists, arms, thighs or chest.
• blood stains on clothes, towels or bedding, wipes with blood.
• Sharp objects or cutting tools, such as razors, knives, needles, shards of glass or bottle caps among a person's belongings.
• Frequent "accidents". Often people who inflict physical injuries on themselves speak of their own clumsiness or inaccuracy in trying to explain the appearance of new signs of mutilation.
• Trying to put on more clothes. Such people tend to wear long sleeves or long pants even in very hot weather.
• Desire to be alone for long periods of time especially in the bedroom or bathroom.
• Isolation and irritability.

How does self-harm help?

People who inflict self-injury explain their needs for auto-aggression and feelings of the field of committing an act of self-injury as follows:

• “It expresses emotional pain or feelings that I cannot bear. This allows me to get rid of painful internal sensations.
• "It's a way to control my body since I can no longer control anything else in my life."
• “I feel a huge black emptiness in the middle of myself, it’s better to feel pain than not to feel anything at all”
• “After cutting myself, I feel calm and relieved. Emotional pain slowly outweighs physical pain.”

Reasons for a person to physically harm themselves may include:

• Expression of feelings that cannot be expressed in words.
• Releasing the pain and tension that is felt inside.
• A way to feel in control of a situation.
• A way to distract yourself from overwhelming emotions or difficult life circumstances.
• A way to alleviate guilt and punish yourself.
• A way to feel alive, or to feel at least something instead of emptiness.

As soon as you understand the reason for your own auto-aggression, you can find ways to help get rid of it, find other opportunities and / or strength in yourself to survive emotional pain and emptiness.

Why is auto-aggression dangerous?

• Despite the fact that auto-aggression provides temporary relief, everything has its price - frequent injuries increase the risk of dangerous infections and the development of incurable diseases.
• The feeling of relief is very brief and is followed by an even deeper sense of shame and self-loathing.
• Auto-aggression does not allow you to look for other ways to cope with the current situation.
• If you do not learn to cope with emotional pain, it can lead to drug addiction, alcoholism or suicide in the future.
• Self-harm can become an addiction. Very often, this turns into a compulsive behavior that seems unstoppable.

Remember, self-harm does not allow you to get rid of or solve the problems that led you to it in the first place, but only temporarily alleviate emotional pain by replacing it with physical pain!

Treatment of autoaggression

Below is a list of effective ways to cope with self-aggression on your own, with the help of loved ones or by contacting a specialist.

trust someone

If you have already realized that you have a problem and are ready to treat auto-aggression, the first step is to find a person you can trust. It will be scary to start a conversation, but in the end, you will feel a huge relief that you will share your feelings with someone.

Most likely, such a person can be a close friend or relative. Sometimes, it's much easier to talk to an adult you respect—for example, a teacher, mentor, or acquaintance—who is distant from your situation and sees it from a different, more positive and constructive perspective.

Tips for starting a conversation about it:

• Focus on your feelings. Focus on what makes you wear injuries.
• Communicate the way you feel comfortable. If you are not comfortable talking about a problem face to face, try to avoid direct contact with the person, limit your communication to e-mail or online chat.
• Give the person time to process the information. In the same way that it can be difficult for people to open up, it can be difficult for people to process and accept information that is being presented to them, especially if the person is a close relative or friend.

Determine the cause of the problem

Understanding the reason why a person does this is the first step on the road to recovery. If you identify the reason why you physically harm yourself, you can find new ways to cope with your feelings - which in turn will reduce the desire to harm yourself.

Find your effective ways to solve problems

If you are doing this to express pain and overwhelming emotions:

• Try to express it in a picture
• Describe your experiences in a personal diary
• Write a song or verse that expresses your feelings
• Write about all the negative emotions, then rip this sheet.
• Listen to music that suits your mood

If you are doing this to calm down:

• Take a bath or shower
• Pet or play with your pet
• Wrap yourself up in a warm blanket
• Massage your neck, hands or feet
• Listen to soothing music

If the cause is a feeling of emptiness:

• Call a friend (it is not necessary to tell him that you are harming yourself physically)
• Take a cold shower
• Place an ice cube in the crook of your arm or leg
• Chew on something with a spicy flavor, like chili or grapefruit
• Go to the site or chat and chat with someone you don't know

If the reason is a desire to express anger:

• Engage in physical exercise - dancing, running, jumping, etc.
• Try hitting a pillow or mattress, or screaming into it.
• Squeeze a rubber toy in your hand
• Tear something (a piece of paper or a magazine)
• Make some noise (play an instrument loudly or hit pots)