Growing up of a man. Seven ages of men. stage. Finding your own image of masculinity

Dedicated to my favorite person...
You will forever remain funny in my soul and
the most expensive U.M.A.!

I accidentally read a joke in a newspaper: “Three stages of a man growing up: 1) he believes in Santa Claus, 2) he doesn’t believe in Santa Claus, 3) he is Santa Claus.” A flight attendant appeared in the aisle and brought me the coffee I ordered. I closed the newspaper, and the joke I had read was forgotten by itself.
A few hours later, the plane landed, and the passengers calmly left its cabin, however, I was no exception. Due to my carelessness, I forgot the newspaper on the plane, but remembered it only when I settled comfortably in the bus seat. "Well, okay! I thought frustrated. “I have a player and my favorite records, and it’s unlikely that I would read it when there are such wonderful landscapes outside the window… Oh, why didn’t I become a professional artist…”
The bus smoothly rose and then fell while driving through the mountainous terrain of the Crimea, and with it my mood gradually rose. In a few hours I was supposed to be in a sanatorium called Gagra. No, I'm not confusing anything. The resort where I was supposed to spend my vacation was called “Gagra” itself and had nothing to do with the geographical object of Gagra; well, except that the climate is similar, and they were both located near the Black Sea, and a couple of hotels could have a typical building ... Actually, it doesn’t matter!
It doesn't matter, because the place where I could go could not be Ukraine, but Finland, where I had already been many times and thanks to which I knew Peter better than a native. And actually, I could just go to Moscow. I chose Crimea and Gagra quite by accident, I was pressured by my own hobby. I was crazy about the work of Vyacheslav Malezhik and, for some reason, during a visit to a travel agency, I remembered his amazing song “Five Summer Days in Gagra” ... a couple of thousand rubles saved.
I decided to spend my vacation alone not at all because I needed a holiday romance that was supposed to make my vacation unforgettable, but because, on the contrary, I didn’t want to get to know anyone. If I had a friend with me, she would immediately find a mate for me. No, I'm too tired of someone's influence, I just wanted to be alone. By the way, this also happens.
But I had to meet. My neighbors on the floor in the hotel at the very first hour of my appearance there told me their names, positions and marital status.
When I got settled in my room, it was dinner time, and I, having decided to take a walk along the embankment later, put on light breeches and a T-shirt, taking a warm jumper with me. It was the middle of July, but from childhood I remembered that the night in the Crimea was often cold.
In the already thickened twilight I reached the dining room along an amazingly beautiful alley of cypresses and tulips. The rare lanterns and benches were made in the Art Nouveau style, but they went well with the black fences that were put up during the Soviet era. The huge building of the dining room itself, and the interior were stylized as a classic Ukrainian hut. The table at which I had lunch, breakfast and dinner was shared with me by a young family of three. The head of the family was called Andrei, his wife was Inna, and their five-year-old daughter was Katya, or as she introduced herself, Ekaterina Andreevna.
I ended up on the embankment when it was completely dark. It smelled of coolness and dampness from the sea, I put on a sweater and for a few minutes immersed myself in the sounds created by nature itself. Two lovers walked past me. And I smiled...
“Well, just a lady with a dog, only dogs and Gurov are missing! Although you can take off the sweater and remember your childhood, imagining that this is not a sweater, but a puppy. And Gurov? Gurov is generally superfluous, ”I thought and laughed.
It's time to go back, and I slowly wandered to the body. A few meters from the dining room, music was blaring, a disco was starting there. The benches that caught my attention were gradually to be filled with greeters or lovers, but so far there was no one on them. I was not interested in discos. I really liked to dance, but to good music and in a small group of friends.
- Can you tell me what time it is? the man, already seated on one of the benches, inquired politely.
“Unfortunately, I don’t have a watch,” I replied.
- Don't you have any medicines? – followed by a new question.
- You feel bad? I was surprised and moved closer.
- No, don't worry, my head just hurts a lot, and then there's a disco ...
- It seems that there was valerian.
I sat down on a bench nearby and opened the bag, it always contained valerian, gastritis pills and a bag of green tea with chamomile. In the dim light of a lantern, I found the right package and, taking out one plate with ten pills, handed it to the man. With a large trembling hand he took it.
Only now I was able to see him: my casual acquaintance was about sixty years old, he had long hair with pronounced gray hair, big glasses on a wide face. He was dressed in a black shirt and white trousers rather modestly and inconspicuously. Although, I didn't care...
"Thank you very much," he said, handing the pills back.
“No thanks, keep it for yourself, I still have a whole pack,” I replied.
Strange, but before I wanted to get into the room as soon as possible, but now I wanted to stay here. But my new acquaintance didn’t really suit me: he was rather waiting for someone, and for some reason it seemed to me that this one had long white hair and Barbie proportions.
- Do you know if the disco will end soon? He asked as if reading my mind.
- No, I just arrived today and I don’t know much here. Who are you waiting for?
- I have a daughter there, she, of course, is an adult, but I'm worried about her, - he answered openly, which surprised me very much. We haven't seen each other for a very long time. Did you come alone?
- Yes, I decided to take a break from everyone. And I haven’t been lucky enough to get married yet ...
- What is your name? If it `s not a secret? Moving closer to me, he asks.
- It's no secret, my name is Ella, friends and relatives call Alya or Lyalya ... And by the way, you didn't introduce yourself either, - I reminded.
- Yu .. M ... Ah ... - he said proudly, of course: he really has something to be proud of.
- What is the same Yu .. M ... A ...? I was surprised.
He nodded. And to myself I thought: “Here I got in! Now it remains only to squeal with joy and ask for an autograph for some spicy place ... ". However, my thoughts remained with me, and instead of any words, I hung the bag on my shoulder:
- It was nice to meet you, but I'm afraid it's time for me. I haven't been able to rest since the trip. Good night.
- May I take you out? he asked, and got up from the bench with me.
- You need to wait for your daughter, and I want to walk alone. Maybe next time, - I refused, subconsciously realizing that there would be no next time.
“Well, then, good night,” he answered with some slight sadness in his voice.
I slowly wandered along the alley alone, only reaching the turn, I looked back, but in the darkness that stood like a wall, I saw nothing. The rest of the way I was doing my favorite thing - self-discipline. “That's a fool ... - thoughts flashed through my mind somewhere in my subconscious, - that's an idiot, but I could not go alone now ...” I stopped. "Stop! Enough! I came here to relax! Therefore, I will rest! ” - I said to myself and the one who could not shut up in any way immediately shut up. The self-blame this time ended faster than usual. Although I have already reached the number. In the darkness of a small space, I threw off all my clothes and opened the balcony. The body sighed and shivered from the freshness of the night. I fell asleep an hour later...

***
The alarm clock on the mobile phone woke me up at seven, at which time it was just beginning to get light. I quickly took a shower and dressed, went to the embankment. For some reason, it was then that I remembered the words of the Engine from one wonderful cartoon: “If we don’t see the dawn, then we will miss a whole life.” Maybe that's why I was in a hurry to take the most convenient place on that mound that I looked after yesterday, and wait for the sun to appear. Or maybe because I have never seen sunrises ...
“Good morning, Ella,” she heard a call behind her and turned around.
From the thick fog, which was already beginning to dissipate, a night acquaintance appeared.
- Good morning, Yuri Mikhailovich, how is your head?
- Passed, but I never met my daughter. Ah, this youth! Slipped past me and spent the night at some kid's.
“Children have grown up, but adults still don’t understand this,” I smiled.
- Yes, you correctly noticed it. Can I accompany you? You, I think, are going to admire the dawn?” he asked.
- How did you guess? I was surprised.
- You know, for the first few days I myself ran to watch the sunrises, dragged my daughter with me, and then I realized that she did not share my interest at all, and for a week now I have been wandering along these alleys completely alone. So can I take you?
- If you want to…
He really saw me off, and besides that, it turned out that that mound was his discovery. For an hour we stood in silence and just watched the rays of the sun gradually appear. I didn't want to talk at the time. Only on the way back, when we both went to the dining room for breakfast, he suggested changing to "you". I, without hesitation, agreed. Maybe it was this agreement that pushed me to the beginning of what I swore against. Holiday romance settled in our holidays without asking. Yes, I love you and they don’t renounce something else there ...
The whole day we walked around the suburbs of some Crimean city. He asked me a lot, I asked him, but more often we just kept silent and held each other's hands. As it turned out, he really was sixty, he loved his family very much; but for some reason he had no luck with women, three marriages ended in three divorces. He found out about me that I am 24, that I teach at one of St. Petersburg's schools, and have already received a higher education for a year, that from the age of 14 I listen only to music of the 70-80s and new works of the same performers and musicians. With men, I was even more unlucky, simply because I was looking for an ideal among them, invented in childhood ... And the ideal, as you know, is almost impossible to find.
- It's strange how it happened, I didn't want to meet anyone at all, - we sat down on a bench in the park.
- I, to be honest, too, I wanted to devote these weeks to my daughter. After all, we have never seen her, - he opened the mineral water and handed the bottle to me.
- No thanks! But I'm probably not much older than her?
"She's a year older than you," he took a sip and looked at my surprised face. “Did you care when you found out how old I was?”
I fiddled with my bag. He was right, I didn’t care how old he was, I didn’t care who he was when I sat on the bench and looked for medicine in my bag, I didn’t care what he looked like and that he was not alone in this resort. I was attracted by that energy or his biological field, which whispered to me that there is another life. There is a life in which there is no complete loneliness. But it was only my body that heard it, not my mind. Consciousness fought desperately and reminded me of what happens during holiday romances.
- Alya, what are you thinking about? he asked when my silence seemed to drag on. - If something bothers you, then I can leave ...
- No, Yura, please don't leave... - I laughed.
- What is it this time?
- Can you imagine what your daughter will say when she finds out how old I am. After all, she wouldn't care...
Together we laughed for about a minute, and then he looked at me again and laughed again. I don't know, but laughter can save even the very first steps of love. He will support her, maybe even give a hand and lead her. Before, I didn’t think about it, and in general I didn’t think about what love could help, maybe because it didn’t exist. But when you realize that you are on the verge of new changes, then everything becomes different, everything becomes new unknown. We often look for a way to childhood, and it is very close. Fall in love! And everything will be like the first time ... And for me it was the first time when he kissed me right on the bench ...
Until late at night we stood on the hill and, as usual, were silent. We were silent not because we had nothing to talk about, but because we knew everything about each other. Surprisingly, sometimes life is not enough to learn just a little ... I felt a little uneasy, because it had to happen ... My happiness could not last so long ...
I squeezed his hand, gently wrapping around my waist.
- Something happened? he asked quietly.
- It's very late, it's time to say goodbye.
- I will accompany you?
- No, you don't. I want to be alone for a while, - I turned to him and cupped his face in my hands. “I have to think, everything happens too fast, and I'm not used to this.
- But we'll see each other?
I pressed his face, and the stubble slightly scratched my skin, although it did not bother me, and then I kissed him. The first time I kissed a man because I wanted to, not because it was necessary. It was this kiss that was the sweetest and warmest, well, of course, after that afternoon ...
- I have number 616, building 5, if you're not afraid, come, - I smiled, and then quickly left.
The very next evening, without explaining anything to me, he kissed me on the very lips on the threshold of my room. I didn't push him away like I did so many times with others. I felt good, I suddenly realized that I can and want to give happiness to this person.
With my free hand, I reached for the handle and slammed the door of the room so that no one would look at my weakness, so that no one would see my happiness. That evening, he deprived himself of all the pleasure of smearing happiness, of possessing a woman by buttons and belts. All the clothes ended up on the floor by themselves, and we were on a silk blanket.
Probably, many will reproach me for such frivolity and recklessness, but in the life of every woman there comes a day when you suddenly realize that this is happiness, this is love, love according to Shakespeare or Bulgakov, it doesn’t matter anymore. It doesn't matter, because this is true love, which can only be experienced once, only once in a lifetime, everything else will not count, no matter how hard we try to repeat it. Therefore, this moment must be seized and not turned back to the past, to principles and talk behind your back. We ourselves are responsible for our actions, we will live later, and not those who spread gossip, build principles by which it is impossible to live, and reminds us that your predecessor was famous, and you are not even worthy of his spitting.
True, all this is necessary, but not now, but later, when on gray days you realize that loneliness is not for you, when you choose not love, but respect and humility, then and precisely then a person finds happiness, but it is calm and it has no sharp turns. Then, by the way, old age comes ... And when, among this “young” old age, you suddenly meet an experienced person, you understand that this is true happiness. It means a lot and not many people understand it.
My fatigue was lifted by the hand when he just lay down next to me, breathing heavily. I expected that he was about to fall asleep, but it seems that this was not included in his plans.
- Alya, do you want to go to the ball? he asked quietly.
I leaned over him in amazement.
- What are you talking about?
- Tomorrow there will be a ball in the pool, something related to mermaids, in general, it's not so important what the theme of the ball is, the main thing is that there will be an interesting program, and we can dance. What do you say?
I literally crawled out of bed and got up and put on a dressing gown. And then she sat down in front of the mirror and began to comb her hair.
- I don't know, I don't even have a dress. And I don’t want to mess with my hair, and besides the comb, I only have an elastic band.
- It's not a problem. You can do your hair in the city, there is a hairdresser nearby, - he got up and approached me, - and they give you a dress there ... I will choose the best for you, - he again kissed me on the collarbone. - You will be the queen of the ball, and at exactly midnight there I will choose the best couple. Shall we fight for the main prize?
- Okay, why not.
I don’t know, maybe it sounds funny, but such awareness of Yura suddenly pushed me away from him. What did I really want? I was one of those he seduced and then abandoned. I wanted love, I got it. What can be claims?! And actually they are not. No, because I didn't know what was waiting for me.
- Are you sad kitten? he asked, looking at my face in the dark.
- No matter.
- No, tell me. I want to know what's bothering you? he insisted.
I lowered him to the floor:
“This has nothing to do with you, and I don’t want to talk about it now. I feel good with you, and everything else later. Do you remember how Veski sang: “I got such happiness, I don’t need another.” You are my happiness and I do not need another.
The only pity is that I have a completely different song and a different mood in my mind, but what did I want? “It is foolish to reproach an innocent person…” - I already scrolled these words in my mind when I fell asleep on his shoulder. A ball was waiting for me and three more wonderful evenings, why spoil your mood, and then I will leave, and everything will not matter.

***
After breakfast Yura brought me a dress. It really was very beautiful: dark blue velvet was embroidered with gold. There were no problems with the hair either. By the evening I was ready and set only to win. The main condition was to hold out until midnight, and there the body was already getting used to fatigue. Just before leaving, for some reason I stuffed a swimsuit and a small towel into my bag. Still, the party was in the pool, and if you wish, you could go to the sea.
The building, which a few hours ago was a swimming pool, has become the largest and most elegant ballroom. But the most striking thing was something else. All the guests did not enter through the central door, but climbed somewhere up the fire escape, equipped with a wooden frame of a real staircase, so that ladies in heels could climb without assistance.
- Promise me that at exactly midnight you will not run away from me and leave me a shoe! I heard Yuri's voice behind me. - This dress really suits you!
- Thanks! - I smiled. - If it does not promise to turn into jeans and a T-shirt, then I will not run away.
- You will have a great evening, I promise!
He kept his promise to the fullest! The whole evening, 13 beautiful couples were tormented by some half-educated actor, and when the clock struck, he lined up all the participants and forced them to kiss at the expense of the audience watching all this.
- Well, what shall we beat the record? Yura asked quietly when it was our turn.
I nodded, but honestly, I didn't think we could kiss for twenty counts. There was nowhere to retreat, he wanted to win, and I wanted him to like this evening.
- And now 13 is the last pair of Yura and Ella! the host said loudly, and the audience applauded. And so we begin to count ...
Yura hugged me and touched his lips to mine. Most of all, I was afraid to open my eyes and frighten away what suddenly tied us together, it was some kind of invisible thread. At that moment, the words from Valeria’s song “Tayu” should probably have flashed through my head, but (I don’t like this “but”!) ... but I remembered a completely different song with childish, but the sweetest words: “Ah, marmalade, la-la-la, nowhere else have you seen this ... ". Really marmalade...
I staggered from the emerging weakness, but Yura held me back. And the audience at that time considered: "23, 24, 25, 26, 27 ...". I opened my eyes. Yes, it seems that this has never been seen, but what exactly is not important.
- So we have determined the most romantic, most beautiful couple, - the shocked presenter said automatically. – They get our main prize – a cake!
They brought in a big cake in the shape of a heart. To be honest, what happened next, I already forgot ... Because I just didn’t remember, I only looked at him ... This was the moment when I finally agreed that I fell in love. They also gave us two pendants, which were halves of one heart. And then we danced, for a long, long time ... and then he took me outside, and we slowly walked to the embankment. And everything for me merged into simple words “and then” ...
When we sat down on the rocks, wet and tired from long swimming and playing in the water, he opened a bottle of red wine.
Why didn't I meet you before? he asked, handing me the wine.
“Maybe because you were looking in the wrong place,” I took a couple of sips.
Maybe because you were hiding? he laughed. - For the first time I feel free and at the same time I have a person who understands me ... I have never had such a thing ...
I was silent and drank wine.
- Why are you silent? – moving closer with asked he.
- I don’t know, I feel good and don’t want to talk ... Look what a beautiful lunar road. She'll be gone tomorrow and won't reappear until the next night. But I used to be afraid of the night. Only my brother, once, showed me her beauty and she became my friend and keeper ...
“And we also met under her cover,” he reminded me.
- Yes…
- You know, you reminded me of an angel who came down for me ... you can do anything, and at the same time you are tender and weak, I'm still afraid to touch you, it seems to me that I can accidentally break ...
- Yes, you are right, - I got up and went to the sea, - I look like a vase both in form and in content.
- In vain, you say so ... - he was behind my back, - you do not look like a vase ... my daughter rather looks like a vase. You have amazing skin, even the hot sun of Crimea cannot defeat its whiteness. You know, when today I saw you in this dress, I thought that you are not from this time, you do not look like a modern woman ...
- Why? I asked quietly.
- Because they do not have such a look, such pride in every movement ...

***
The next morning, we overslept not only the dawn, but also breakfast, and an excursion to the Botanical Garden. And when I returned after dinner, I found a note on the doorknob:
"I love you! Get out on the balcony! Yura"
I opened the room and, going to the balcony, looked down. Remember Pugacheva's song "A Million Scarlet Roses", of course, there were not a million roses, but a lot and they lay, forming the phrase: "I love you!".
- Like? he asked quietly, emerging from behind with another bouquet of roses.
- How many of them?
- Exactly a thousand! If you want, I'll bring them all here?
- No, you don't. Yura, they are so expensive...
- There is nothing more precious than you in the world, and you gave yourself to me, albeit for a few hours. I can never repay you for this.
- I don't know, but I want to repeat what happened yesterday. Maybe I'm crazy, but I'm terribly good with you, I ... never, I've never been so happy and I'm unlikely to ever be so happy now ...
- My angel, - I felt how he smiled ...
He ran his hand over my shoulders, then over my collarbone, and I felt the light touch of his lips on my neck.
"Do you mind if I introduce you to my daughter?" - he asked.
- Why? I was surprised, all the pleasant mood suddenly disappeared. - Yura, please don't!
He stood next to me and now I could see his face:
- What are you afraid of? he smiled. – If you don’t want to, I won’t do it… she’ll tell you, honestly doesn’t bite…
- No, you don't have to...
- I do not insist…
I knew from his tone that I offended him. He stood for a few minutes, and then left, the door closed behind him almost without a sound. I did not run after him and did not dissuade ...
Standing on the balcony, I suddenly remembered Leshka, my second boyfriend, the first one was still in kindergarten, but he did not interest me. But I remember Lesha for a long time, especially our last meeting in St. Petersburg, the last hours that the train, which was almost five hours late, gave us ... then we sat on a bench at the end of the platform and were alone ...
- Do you remember how I came to you back in Perm and gave you a ring? he asked softly, when our silence just called for relief.
I remember I gave it back to you.
He handed me that little yellow garnet ring.
- Take it for yourself, just as a keepsake... I won't be able to give it to anyone, but there may not be a chance to see you again.
- Are you probably mad at me? I asked taking the ring.
- For what? he wondered. - For refusing to ring and wait another five years of marriage ?!
- Yes, I refused to pass the test that life itself gave us ... surprisingly, we became friends ...
- I think I won’t be mistaken if I say that the one who breaks up with you is a cretin ... And the one who offers friendship instead of love is a complete cretin ...
- Oh ... yes, Lesha, you seem to be overheated!
- Don't tell me I'm wrong! Look at me: I did not fight for you and instead of love I offered you friendship...
- So what? I was surprised.
- Alya, I have already divorced three times, I lost a person dear to me, my daughter ... and you could have been her mother ...
- Stop doing that! I stood up abruptly from the bench. "Don't you think it could be worse...
- Couldn't! Because you solve problems with your mind, feminine, but with your mind! And few people can do this, because it’s easier to find something that doesn’t suit and criticize, while there is strength, it’s easier than understanding why it appeared and trying to solve it ... in these two weeks that we lived together, I saw you from all sides ... you have not changed, you have become an adult ... you have become what I always needed, - he hugged my back.
- Lyosha, but I'm unbearable when something starts to annoy me ...
- You do not know how to be angry, you become funny ... - he laughed.
- What's so funny? Turning around, I asked.
- Your lips are bowed and your eyes sparkle when you are angry, and you also puff out your cheeks and are silent until they say something affectionate to you ... and you also love the words from Peterson's song "Love Cafe" because they are about you, and every night you cry from your loneliness, but no one sees or knows this, because you rarely come off to people. You are afraid to get attached to someone because any change is an extra pain, and you found out about this when your great-aunt's husband died, whom you loved the most and it is unlikely that you will love anyone else like that ... you practically ran away from home because that after the divorce of your parents, no one needed you, and only your grandfather, your only intercessor, taught you everything, you even became a philologist because you never want to part with his friends - books ... - he fell silent for a minute, - and you camellias love, because these are flowers that mean superiority over everyone, and this is what you demand from everyone who surrounds you ...
Then I stood not knowing what to answer, but most of all I wanted to hug him and ask him to stay for a few more days ... I turned to the road and wrapped my jacket.
At this time, the long-awaited line-up arrived, and I breathed a sigh of relief.
- All this is true, but everything that was then has passed ... time has passed and the train is waiting for you ...
- Can I not go? he asked right next to my ear.
I turned to him and took a couple of steps towards the bench where we were sitting:
- Go, you will have everything, but I can’t do this ...
He left, and I was left with a couple of words, a beautiful memory and a ring with a yellow garnet. Two weeks later, he received a letter in which he wrote about a new wedding. A year later, his life improved, as it seemed to me, he just let go of my image, which was holding this ring. The friendship remained as it should have been. Although, seriously speaking, I never knew how to be friends with men ...
I didn’t keep Leshka, because pride played in me, but everything was as it should be, because then we wouldn’t have crossed paths with Yura. With Yura, who was the hero of my childhood, the keeper of my little experiences, but I didn’t even think that we would meet someday.
I slammed the door and ran into the common room. He sat on the armchair and thought about something. I smiled and sat down next to him.
- I'm sorry! I whispered softly.
- For what? – he was surprised and only after that he looked at me.
About a minute passed, and he laughed:
- And your lips are like a bow ... But seriously, with you and thanks to you, I am ready to sincerely believe that Santa Claus exists ... You breathed youth into me ...
He leaned over and kissed me...

Yura caught himself and quickly got out of bed.
I forgot that I have to leave...
It was funny to watch him pull on his trousers like a soldier. And I sat on the bed and, covering myself with a sheet, laughed. In a half-buttoned shirt, he came up and sat next to me:
- Wait, I'll be there. I will come and I promise that I will have a big surprise for you, - he kissed me on the forehead. – Will you wait?
I nodded and, buttoning the first button, pulled him to me:
- Where will I go? - I answered, and with a hot kiss, he left my room.
I laughed for a long time, and then, calmly dressed, I went to the city. I don’t know why, but my mood has noticeably improved since I met the most wonderful musician ... Now I love him outside of his work, now I knew a completely different Yura.
A day went by and he didn't show up. The phone in the hotel was silent, but it was not on the embankment. After dinner, I plucked up courage and decided to go up to his floor in the sixth building. Unfortunately, he was not there, and a young girl opened the door for me.
- Hello!
“Hello,” the girl replied.
- Can I have Yuri Mikhailovich? I asked politely.
- But he is not there, he left, - she answered, without going into explanations.
- When is he supposed to come back?
- I do not know, but why do you need it? she seemed surprised at my detailed inquiries.
I wanted to talk to him...
- Are you Ella? she asked.
- Yes, or maybe he asked me to convey something?
- Your naivete is killing me, but you are already the third with him! - leaning back against the door, I don’t understand why, she introduced me to the details. - Someone gave me such a daddy ... Only, you know, I don’t understand him, even if he twisted the brains of old women. They don't care, but you seem to be seriously vtemyashilis!
- Firstly, I didn’t get involved, secondly, your father is a good person and you haven’t even reached his hands yet, and the third means happy!
I took out a notepad from my bag and wrote a note in which I indicated the time of my departure and the phone number.
- Here, tell him, and take care of your education yourself, - I gave her a note. - Goodbye!
I went to the elevator. The holiday romance came to an end, but I still thought that nothing would end there. I also have nothing to reproach him for: he left beautifully, but I couldn’t understand this ...
Now I hate holiday romances. True, for me it ended without any consequences, and, apart from a couple of photographs, only a beautiful story remained. I spent the day in my room, after this conversation I did not feel well, neither valerian nor chamomile tea helped with a headache. The world just turned upside down, and, as it always happens, became what it was - gray!
Late in the evening, when the heat subsided, I opened the balcony and took a few deep breaths. And then she tossed the things into her bag. But I fell asleep only in the morning, when I had to get up and get ready to leave ...
The bus smoothly rose and then fell while passing through the mountainous terrain of the Crimea, but the landscape that struck me for the first time was no longer interested, I looked out the window over all the beauty and listened to the player. It seemed to me that if I listened to something other than his music on the way back, I would quickly forget it. That is why there was a Syabrov cassette in the player, but unfortunately, they also sang about love ...

I invented you out of selfishness
You were with me for everything.
Your thoughtful stroke is mesmerizing ...

Two tears rolled down my cheeks, which I hurried to brush away with my hand ...

Kohana, kohanaya, distant, distant
Behind white fogs, behind blue clouds.
My love is fake, naive, not brave
My not to kohannaya, my foolish ...

Behind this strong male voice, I heard a completely different voice, completely different words, but the meaning was the same. More and more tears ran down his face. They reminded me of the beginning of the rain, which usually turned into a downpour. But I didn’t need this downpour ... I looked out the window, where his face, his glasses and long gray hair were suddenly reflected. I ran my hand over my clothes, and for a few seconds my heart sank from the memories of gentle touches and his warmth. I found a piece of a pendant around my neck and, pulling a weak rope, tore it off. He was superfluous, he was now a worthless trinket of happiness that had once visited my life. At one of the parking lots, I threw it into the grass. Love end...
On the plane at the same place, I found an old newspaper that I left behind. That anecdote caught my eye again. The plane did not take off for a long time, but I did not care a little. I reread the newspaper again. Half an hour later we finally took off. From the slight rocking of my chair, I realized that someone was sitting next to me. I folded up the newspaper and turned to the neighbor who appeared.
“You lost,” he told me, holding out half of my pendant. – And I barely managed to get on this plane so as not to lose my kitten.
Yura was sitting next to me, and on the next pair of chairs I saw his daughter in an embrace with a rather nice young man.
- What are you doing here? – I barely managed to utter a numb language.
- Yes, that's the same as you, I'm going home! Say thanks to her - he pointed to his daughter - and your tact. She told me that if I didn't get you back, I'd lose her too...
The shower, which lingered for several minutes, suddenly burst through my eyes and onto his blouse and shirt as he pressed my face to his.
- Alya, stop it! he kissed my hair. - I told you to wait, I told you that I would have a big surprise ...

I woke up, the plane was slowly landing. I was met not by Crimea, but by Kyiv. Everything that happened to me was just a dream. I smiled to myself… Yes, once a gray-haired musician attracted me, but a lot of time has passed since then, since then I have changed, my tastes have also changed. At the airport I was met by my Ukrainian, with whom I was now in love. He was the complete opposite of a musician. He was much taller than me, had a good sense of humor, a charming smile, he, like me, was a philologist and also loved Pushkin...
Then I spent the most unforgettable two weeks of my life… It’s a pity, but now it’s just a memory… Just like a dream…

Do you know friends that we grow up all our lives, in any case, we can do it and it is obvious that we should, even if we do not always do it. Growing up stage a certain revolutionary leap in life, or an evolutionary process that changes our internal state, psyche, attitude to life, views on the world, degree of responsibility is the most important, and most importantly, a qualitative change in life itself. Life change, that is, the specific result of your growing up,

This is its main indicator, because it doesn’t matter what you did and what you did, it’s important what it led to. The process itself without a result, in principle, means nothing, so you can declare changes in your views as much as you like, but if this is not expressed in anything concrete, concrete and qualitative, then there is no point in talking about it at all.

Of course growing up process can also occur in an evolutionary way, slowly and steadily, when people take on more and more responsibility, and their own selfishness becomes more healthy and moderate. Of course, we can only notice revolutionary changes, they are immediately evident, both for ourselves and for the people around us, but it is not important how fast we grow, it is important that we do it at all. I will not be mistaken if I say that not many people tend to grow up, not because most people are not like that, but because they do not express a wish to do this, preferring to remain in the familiar, and therefore the most comfortable zone for themselves. Now about the stages themselves, which naturally begin in childhood, and growing up as such does not begin with a specific age determined by the state, which determines the age of majority of a person, as well as not with obtaining a passport, but directly with that share of responsibility that begins to fall on the shoulders of the child.

If a teenager declares that he is an adult and independent, and begins to do everything in defiance of his parents, then we are well aware that this is nothing more than a transitional age and an inadequate self-image, but if at the same time he begins to live indeed a more or less independent life, it is indeed a stage of maturation that he overcomes. Do not ask your parents for money under any circumstances, this is a stage of growing up, this is a fundamentally new attitude to life, this is, in fact, independence and responsibility, first of all for yourself. If, in life, older children have to bear responsibility for their younger brothers and sisters, this is an even greater responsibility, and hence the way of thinking, and hence the psyche, characteristic of an older person who feels responsible for other people. Moreover, such a situation really affects a person’s life, we cannot, say, allow ourselves liberties in which serious mistakes can be made, because in this case more than one person suffers.

For example, a parent cannot afford to irresponsibly risk his life, get involved in all sorts of fights, break the law, and so on, if he understands that by ruining his life, he can ruin the life of his children, this is responsibility, this is the behavior of an adult person. Life sometimes develops in such a way that those who still need care and guidance themselves have to take on such responsibility, but despite this, everything begins to change in young people - their psyche, attitude to life, vision of this world, which is more adequate in fact, if you fly in the clouds, you will simply disappear. And this is not just a different life, in comparison with the life of those who suck their mother's boobs to gray hair, this is a real qualitative change, in which a person significantly reduces his degree of dependence on others, life forces him to rely only on himself. Next, we will consider such a stage of growing up as independence, which, of course, is determined again by a share of responsibility, for oneself and for others, if any, and independence in terms of one's own provision.

That is, if we look at two such opposite ways of making money as hired labor and business or entrepreneurship, we will see an obvious difference in the mindset and behavior of people who profess one method or another. That is, it is obvious that a person engaged in entrepreneurship, that is, working for himself, or a business - organizing someone else's labor and extracting profit from it, lives a more responsible and independent life, and therefore more mature. On the other hand, one who is accustomed to follow other people's instructions and do as ordered, in fact, differs little from a child who does as his parents say, and in case of failure to follow instructions, is punished. And, as in childhood, parents can be wrong and unfair, but you can’t do anything, and in the case of obvious mistakes and misconceptions of the boss, the blame for which will still fall on the subordinates. It seems unfair, but in fact everything is fair, because you have to pay for a carefree and irresponsible life, and if you don’t want to be treated unfairly from your point of view, you just need to grow up.

But still, the most significant stage of growing up, changing to a large extent everything - attitude to life, views of the world, views of people, the psyche and generally sobering effect on a person, is the stage at which he bears real responsibility for the life and fate of other people. This is, of course, if he, a person, really bears this responsibility, and does not imitate this activity. People who have become parents in the full sense of the word, that is, who are really responsible in this life not only for themselves but also for another life or life, perfectly understand what is actually at stake. It can't be explained, it has to be felt. But if this feeling is multiplied by, say, several million, what will be the price of a mistake? So if we are talking about various leadership positions, including the position of the president of the country, then here we see the fact of a real qualitative transition from a state of carelessness to a state of great tension.

It is easy, as you think, to be responsible for millions of lives and for the country in general, if we are talking about the president, and it is obvious that the life of such a person must certainly be better in quality than ours, because taking responsibility for others is generously rewarded. It is also obvious that a person in such a responsible position catches up more than others. Of course, you need to understand that more than one person makes decisions in the country, but nevertheless, people in leadership positions know and understand more, and at the same time there are a lot of people who want to teach them what to do and how to do it, as it seems to them, people often drive smart thoughts on a bench at the entrance or in the kitchen, considering themselves well-versed in many global issues. All this is nothing but behavior children you can’t name, which, as you know, often run into the bushes in case of their own wrongness that led to an error, and adults have to clear up the failed mess for them.

This is what all the stages of a person’s growing up and, consequently, his development follow from, everything starts with responsibility and ends with really tangible results, it’s not for you to read esoteric literature or talk about how to do this or that, everything here is much easier to understand, but difficult in execution. And what we can learn and how we should grow up, you can understand by looking at the primitiveness of our behavior, I mean humanity and the impasse into which it is currently driving itself, so we still cannot call ourselves adults to the fullest. , we are still far from it.

Is your son already 11 years old? The girls in his class, most likely, are already sometimes starting to use cosmetics, quickly gaining height, and in general they no longer look like little girls, but quite like girls. The boys, most likely, are still boys, they play "war", and so far they look at the girls only c.z. What is the best way to pull the pigtail. Nothing, soon our little boys will also enter puberty (usually in boys it begins one and a half to two years later than in girls).

Physical aspect and quantitative measurements

In boys, puberty usually begins at the age of 11-12, sometimes, however, it can linger up to 14-15 years.

The muscles and skeletal system noticeably increase, the voice breaks, the figure changes. The musculature of the shoulder girdle develops. The genitals are also enlarged. At seven years, the length of the testicles reaches an average of 2.7 cm, and the penis in a calm state is 3-3.5 cm, by the beginning of puberty, these figures increase slightly: 2.8-3 cm of the testicles and 3.8 cm of the penis .

During puberty, the growth dynamics of the genital organs is much higher, because there is an intensive production of male sex hormones. At the age of 13, these important indicators will be 3.6-3.7 for the testicles and 6.3 cm for the penis, by 15 - 4 cm and 6.7 cm, respectively. Of course, these are average readings, and a step left and right is not considered an escape (unless, of course, this is a giant step).

Puberty, in addition, is marked by the appearance of hair - primarily on the pubis. By the age of 14-15, armpit hair appears and - hooray! - Youthful fluff on the upper lip and chin.

Simultaneously with the appearance of hair, the voice breaks and, unfortunately, often the physiognomy of your child is covered with acne. Someone has more acne, some lucky ones have less or none at all. If acne is very annoying, you can contact a specialist. And, of course, follow the healthy lifestyle of your maturing "baby": sports, proper nutrition, keeping the skin clean - all this can significantly reduce the number of these nasty acne. Although, of course, by the age of 16-17 they will disappear on their own.

Around the same time (14 years), the first wet dreams may appear. This means that the sperm is already ready and your "baby" is quite physically capable of making you a grandma or grandpa. It's time to talk about "pistils and stamens" if you haven't already done so. And, of course, about the responsibility for the girl and (pah-pah) for a possible child. And about contraceptives.

Another very important indicator of puberty for a boy is height. Usually there are two jumps: the first comes at 10-11 years old (the boy grows by 10 centimeters). The next jump is 13 years old, the boy adds another 7-8 centimeters.

Parents should know that all signs of puberty may well linger for a year or two, there is nothing wrong with that. The main thing is to support your son if he is worried that he still does not grow facial hair, and he is the lowest in the class.

But sometimes, to correct some disorders, the help of specialists is required. So if the signs of puberty are late, visit a urologist or andrologist, because, as you know, it is easier to prevent than to treat later, and at the age of 12-13, if there are any problems, it is much easier to fix everything.

Personal hygiene rules are changing

Do not forget to teach your son the basics of personal hygiene, because uncleanliness can lead to balanoposthitis and other diseases. Daily toilet, frequent change of linen is a mandatory item in the self-care program not only for a girl, but also for a boy. Do not forget that the gonads work more actively in the boy, naturally, an unpleasant odor appears. The boy himself may not notice this, but classmates and friends (and, of course, girls) will definitely notice. Be sure to pay attention to this and - again - "long live scented soaps" and neutral deodorants.

Psychology of a growing boy

So, the boy is changing not only physically, although, of course, it is the physical changes that entail psychological maturation. Your son becomes shy, upset by the slightest defect in appearance, exaggerating its importance. The boy's movements are angular, because the body is growing so fast that it takes time to adapt to it.

A teenager is easily offended, his mood often changes: now he feels like an adult, and after 5 minutes he is a baby again and wants to be close to mom and dad.

In addition, vague sexual desires also bring confusion. At this time, the boys (and the girls too) have idols: teachers, movie characters, etc. etc., usually of the same sex as the child at first. A little later, an idol of the opposite sex appears, while also a movie star, or a popular musician. And then it slowly turns out that a classmate is also completely fine, and can be an object of sympathy. True, the open expression of emotions is still far away.

In addition, during puberty, a teenager fights for his freedom from parental care and insists on his rights and independence, but this does not mean at all that parents should "lead" to these demands. As a rule, a child fights for freedom, but at the same time is afraid of it: psychologists working with teenagers, they say that many teenagers admit that they would like their parents to be stricter and teach what is good and what is bad.

If the decision of the parents is reasonable, then the teenager accepts it, so do not forget to trust your child and discuss moral standards with him. As a rule, a healthy upbringing and confidence in the trust and attention of parents is exactly what a young man needs.

Gavrilyastaya Natalya

In order to reveal the serious topic of MALE GROWTH or MATURITY, it is first necessary to divide it into conditional components - external and internal. Everything belongs to the external part, starting with actions, age, external image, style and manner of behavior, communication with the opposite sex. On the inside, this is how individually a man figured out and knew himself, learned how to use himself, set himself the correct goals and objectives, how he financially realized himself as a professional in his field, how much he disassembled and resolved his childhood, youthful, family, birth and other injuries.

Let's start with age, at what age does a man mature not only biologically, but also internally? The real growth of a man occurs in the period from 39 to 43 years, and when compared with a woman, the gap is on average 8-14 years. It's no secret that many men "hang" in a certain state, continuing to behave the same way for years and after forty, fifty ..., telling the same stories and joking one-sidedly. Everyone is well aware of the “big children” - these are “adult boys” of 40 years or more who gladly refuse to take on any responsibility and are not able to take care of anyone, even about themselves. At the same time, there are those who already at the age of 15 begin to get their daily bread and become the breadwinner of the family. And here a natural question arises, which is not related to childishness and age, as everyone knows - real men are boys all their lives, just what makes them real men? And here it is already necessary to disassemble the process of male infantilism. Male infantilism is masculinity, the preservation in the psyche and behavior of an adult man of the features inherent in childhood - lack of independence in decisions and actions, demands for care, poor assessment of various risks, inability to concentrate, any disputes and proofs, lack of self-criticism ... the list can be long. Infantilism is an epidemic of modern post-industrial civilization.

Let's look at infantiles, breaking them conditionally into three groups: spoiled, offended and downtrodden.

Minion. A man behaves as if there is only himself in the world: he always considers himself right, he does not see other people point-blank, he measures everyone and everything according to himself and by himself, does not recognize that another may have other, no worse, tastes. Usually he demands and manipulates to achieve what he wants, and is very offended when those around him ignore him or simply refuse him, often declares that the world is unfair to him, considers himself an ideal that has nowhere to grow and change.

Offended. He proves his case for any reason, constantly rebels, and especially when they try to limit him. Often does "for evil", even if it can hurt him, often aggressive.

Downtrodden. Most often, he considers his decisions to be erroneous, through which he easily follows the lead of someone else's opinion, waits for instructions, is led to any opinion, does not have his own formed position on the vast majority of issues, seeks approval, is hardly noticeable.

In each infantile, all these three manifestations occur alternately. There are more of some manifestations, some less, but all three occur. The bottom line is just to notice them in yourself and try to get rid of them all.

Why do men turn into these types of infantiles? This is an endless topic, there is such an abyss of different factors and conditions that the goblin himself will break his leg. And most importantly - in this case, the reasons are not important at all. The past cannot be changed, what has already happened cannot be redone, the man is already the way he is.

What can be corrected?

A spoiled man needs to understand that there are other people nearby and their opinion is also important and significant, that you need to link your interests and the interests of others, and not “oppose” or “bend”.

An offended man needs to understand and accept that some of the prohibitions are related to the conditions of life in society and are simply necessary, everyone has their own rules, say, do not make noise after midnight, because people are sleeping, some directly ensure his personal safety - do not go to a red light traffic light.

A downtrodden man needs to feel like a full-fledged person, a valuable person, increase self-esteem, learn to concentrate, make decisions, express an opinion and defend their boundaries without conflict.

These are just simple moments that are very different for everyone, require individual detailed clarification and elaboration.

Further, I would like to highlight real masculinity, which is best manifested only against the backdrop of female essence. If you want to know what kind of man, look at what woman is next to him, and also how he relates to the main manifestations of the female and material world: nature, money, power, fame and the woman herself.

If you see a real man, then there are no signs of what in him? That's right - feminine, and this is expressed not only in appearance and brutality, which now makes it very difficult to understand, because the majority play in images that are not their own, imitate, but do not correspond to this in practice and in fact. A mature man radiates a POWER that only a real woman can feel and appreciate. Therefore, if there is an adult child next to you, I am now turning to women, it means that you also have infantile feminine notes, you yourself attracted such a man and the image that he provided you or you yourself came up with, and then dump everything in one side, it won't work. Any medal always has two sides and another edge, therefore, watching any pair, you can always tell about their maturity, considering only one. Because of this, in our life there are few happy and strong relationships, we are always ready to shift the blame on our neighbor, forgetting about ourselves, and in any relationship, you should always consider the overall system, and not individual elements.

All this comes from our incorrect upbringing, we are not given now those simple and important foundations on which we can then build masculinity and femininity. Because the insufficiency of the male is not in the presence of femininity, but in immaturity. A man who has not grown internally, and not physically, a man-child is a weak point, but the same as a woman-a teenager. A man is not the one with stubble and biceps, but the one who has matured, everything else is a game of masculinity.

Maturity is inseparable from the feminine. Our ancestors knew how to make husbands out of boys in several stages:

In the beginning - life among women, when the boy grows under his mother's skirt. Then - without women, when a teenager is taken away from his mother and placed in a purely male company. There he learns the skills of a hunter, a guard, a lover and a father, that is, skills that prepare him for the next stage.

This is a very simplified explanation, but the meaning is clear - a man becomes a man only by tempering in real affairs and in the direct presence of a woman, precisely when he is in a relationship and takes responsibility for them. And here is an important point that a man hones and manifests in the fastest way his gifts, talents, opportunities, false perceptions, knowledge of himself and the world only in relations with a woman, and not on the battlefield. A close woman is a mirror of true masculinity.

But the modern loss of connection with the wisdom of the ancestors has led to a violation of the normal maturation of men. We receive several formations and build the world in our own, boyish manner. The world built by male-boys is far from natural, it becomes more and more difficult to breathe and drink in it, the concepts of freedom and happiness are distorted in it, the cult of money and strength triumphs in it, and creativity and otherness are called weakness. Most importantly, it is uncomfortable for women ... and in response to the men themselves - the circle is vicious. Uncomfortable, because the world is built without taking into account their interests. Femininity for a child is a source of consumption and the beginning of growth. The boy only takes, and that's fine as long as he's a boy, but if the "boy" is over forty and he takes everything, then it becomes destructive for everyone.

A large child without the skill of communicating with the feminine senses a threat in him and seeks to suppress him. Some follow the path of violence, trying in every possible way to lower a woman, others, like spoiled children, manipulate, demand increased attention, toys and scandals if something is wrong, and the unknown is complemented by complete control and fantastic planning. Office male plankton is blindly looking for a “warm place”, pushing neighbors, the highest achievement of respectability is considered to be “sucking on any money pipe”, but you can check this in an elementary way - for a minute take away from such a “boy” with any age all his surroundings, money and toys, behind which he is hiding - to put in an "open field" one on one with a problem - and here everything will manifest itself, he will immediately want to hide behind something. Therefore, if you read this and immediately assume the situation for yourself - make the first decision in your life - admit that you have it - this will be the beginning of your transformation ...

So who is this real man? It's simple - the threshold of masculinity is there, when the boy begins to direct, lead, protect, make decisions and responsibility, give more than consume, this is growing up.

And the reality is that we, men, do not have real examples and correct rituals. What to grab onto? How to see your masculinity and overcome it? Who will help you find the very, true masculinity? That's right - only women. No wonder the French say: "Look for a woman ...", but now you will perceive this saying differently, because only women can be a response to true masculinity.

Male qualities, like any human qualities, are fluid. They can be developed, manifested, lost. How do you know how much a man you are now? Only in comparison, in relation to whatever it was, in women's eyes. For example, I learned to read the scale of my masculinity by the slightest changes in a woman's behavior. So I boasted, and she looked at me with a motherly smile - exactly how childish of me. Here he acted wisely, and her eyes glow with gratitude and respect. When I waste my time and energy ineptly, sharpness and anxiety appear in her movements - the male immediately diminished, what should I do? When I achieve success, she becomes soft, submissive and sexy as hell. She trains me, and my God, how I like it! But a real woman doesn’t even think - it happens unconsciously for her and helps, while for a cunning woman it looks like a manipulation of the result, which, even if it appears, then obviously fails ...

Women want to be close to real, adult, loving men in order to be able to plunge into the bosom of their femininity. A real man is compared to a god, whom you can rely on, that he will always help and protect, you can hide behind him and be like behind a stone wall. In this human reliability of male attention and care, a woman will be able to relax, blossom and fill the man and the world with what she was created for - continuation, life and love, and this should happen at the same time ...

18–24 years old. pendulum love

Psychologists say that in men after 25 comes the very maturity when they begin to more or less adequately evaluate themselves. And before that, a man is a dreamer, looking for himself, his vocation, hobby, job, woman. Trying to make a father of a family out of a guy is hardly worth it - he is simply not ready to switch from his beloved woman to diapers.

What should a girl do who dreams of an affair with a boy? Hit him, delight, fall in love with yourself, but do not drag him down the aisle. A great option is to rent an apartment and live together without having children. Your main task is to let the young man ripen to family life. Just make sure that the fish does not jump off the hook and go to a more successful fisherman.

25–30 years old. Ripening period

The same social maturity. The main sensations are obtained, the worldview, priorities and gastronomic tastes are formed. Usually by this age there is already some kind of stability. In addition, there comes what psychologists call information satiety. New sensations are no longer particularly needed. A man becomes more responsible, more serious. It's time to be a dad.

It is at this age that a man is most greedy for comfort, care and manifestations of love. Be gentle and sweet with him and do not forget to demonstrate your culinary skills. Add saffron, cinnamon, and cloves to your meals more often. The unforgettable taste of food will firmly sit in the male mind and form a kind of your image of a “clever-beauty”, who also knows how to create comfort. By the way, saffron increases passion, and cinnamon excites imagination.

30–35 years old. Tired of boredom

"Golden Age" of men. He feels young, but at the same time, the experience gained gives him self-confidence. That is why, if he is not yet married, attempts to drag him into the registry office most often end in failure. He will prefer freedom - after all, he already has everything: a job, an apartment, women ... A married man after thirty - on the one hand, a good family man, on the other - begins to experience some boredom and, accordingly, walk "to the left." You can keep him by forming his persistent habits (for example, gastronomic) and enchanting sex. For it is precisely at the age of 30 that the peak of a man's sexual desire falls, and a wife in a washed-out bathrobe and slippers with pom-poms is not the most desirable object.

But most importantly - unobtrusively, but convincingly demonstrate to him the wealth of your inner world and intelligence. Become interesting and irreplaceable for him. In a word, your chosen one must clearly understand that there are many women in the world, but he will never find such a subtle, caring and understanding person as you.

35–45 years old. Twice unmarried

The "golden age" is followed by a sharp, if not catastrophic decline - a midlife crisis. A man suddenly begins to think, to sum up his life. Is it a joke - half a life behind you! And suddenly he realizes that he became, for example, a great couturier, but as a child he wanted to be a cabin boy! But now it will never happen ... At this age, a man is able to throw out any trick.

All of a sudden, a lazy homebody starts fishing, a humble teacher buys a motorcycle and becomes a biker... The man wants change! But the easiest way is to change your wife. Therefore, there is a real danger of the destruction of the family. A man leaves for another, not because she is better, but because she is different! Careers collapse, destinies break, an engineer leaves his design bureau and goes to work as a huntsman, a teetotaler goes into a binge. It is at this age that the highest number of suicides occurs. What to do? Sublimate the crisis into a hobby and share it with your man. He became interested in skiing - and you follow his example. The husband began to paint pictures - and you will buy yourself paints and a canvas. Hobby, if it is one for two, incredibly brings together ...

45–55 years old. gray hair in beard

Relative calm. A man, even stronger than before the crisis, begins to appreciate a strong rear. Moreover, there seems to be strength and health, and the children have grown up - you can take care of yourself. He seems to rediscover his life partner. Spiritual communication comes to the fore, the banal “how about talking?” It’s good if the spouses have maintained some kind of emotional contact by this time, but if not, it’s a disaster.

The man will be on the side to look for this emotional connection. For the “fifty dollars” is approaching, followed, as you know, by a gray hair in a beard, a demon in a rib. At this age, a man begins to feel the first signs of the fading of male power. And sex for him very often becomes a symbol - I, they say, still hoo, I still can! And communication with nymphets also increases his self-esteem. Although this is a scam of pure water, it is clear that a young inexperienced girl will easily be fascinated by an experienced man. Yes, and in bed, another 50-year-old "old man" will give odds to the young man, because he has the experience of two or three decades on his side.

It is best at this age for a man to do something. Building a summer house, renovating an apartment, raising a dog. The main condition is that he should be interested. A little madness won't hurt either. Organize an exotic picnic for him, dance a belly dance, demonstrate a new pose from the Kama Sutra - you'll see, he will like it.

55–60 years old. To each according to merit

The man is practically safe. He becomes slightly selfish, but his egoism is rather social, attached to the house, to the family. A wife from a friend turns into a relative, into a person whom you know inside and out. But if at the age of 30-40 this very “up and down” is a great minus, then after 60 it becomes a huge plus, that thread that cannot be broken or cut. At the forefront is the comfort of coexistence. Are you good together? That's fine. If there is no warmth and mutual understanding, the man will simply go into internal emigration, breaking off contact with the woman and family. A classic example - he will go to the dacha and will live there all year round as a bean, and the wife - spin around as you like.

If you don't like this scenario, let the man know that you really need him. Ask him for help more often, while not forgetting to thank him.

60 years. hard-won wisdom

The spouses should have some common cause: the same dacha, the upbringing of grandchildren, and at least walks in the evenings.

Of course, this age division is very conditional. For some, social maturity does not come even at the age of 50, and until old age he reflects, looks for his place in life and tries to express himself. And someone at 25 feels like a completely accomplished person. But exceptions only prove the rule. Is not it?..

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