How to please a boy in correspondence. How to please an interesting pen pal. How to get a pen pal to ask you out on a date
Almost all of us have our own page on social networks. And certainly each of us fell in love “at first sight” with an unknown (or even well-known) “avatar” of a handsome young man.
And when we no longer have the strength to remain silent about our sympathy, we begin to think about getting to know him. How to do everything right and turn his gaze to himself, his beloved? Let's, together with the online magazine "Korolevnam.ru", consider a "capture plan" how to please a pen pal.
Flirt or serious relationship?
To begin with, it is still worth deciding for what purpose you are going to get to know him. Friendship? Sex? Love?
The first option is definitely out of the question. Any psychologically normal girl is unlikely to “hang” around the clock over a guy’s account in order to make a pen pal. Most likely, you can cope with such a task without the advice of wise psychologists.
For the second option, special intricacies in behavior are not required: a frank “avatar”, an appropriate status and - you're done! In this case, the right contingent will find you.
But what if this guy is your dream? And you really want, at least, to please him by correspondence, and as a maximum, to fall in love with him?
If the situation is familiar “painfully”, then you should not despair in this case. It is better to take yourself and the situation into your beautiful well-groomed hands and start acting. So, how to please a pen pal on VK (Vkontakte) or any other social network?
Step 1: Gather information about him
For the very first action, a lot of wisdom is not required - just carefully study "His" account. If it seems to you that it is impossible to recognize a person by his “page”, then you are mistaken.
Psychologists have officially proven that a page on social networks gives out 82% of information about a person.
And here we are not talking about the information that is stated “in fact”: place of work, education, number of brothers and sisters, date of birth and address of residence. No, of course, this is also important.
You can quickly use this information for personal purposes, but do not forget that you can easily come up with the “underground” for yourself. Whether this factual information is correct, you can only check in the course of communication.
There are other, more informative points. Experts in various fields call them hidden, or "latent". Pay attention to how full the columns of factual information are: did the guy leave marks in all the columns? Or are some completely missing?
Or did the young man leave humorous comments at some point? A whole field for thought, isn't it? Empty / missing columns indicate the guy's secrecy, or his desire to keep silent about something.
Joking sayings testify to the same. Although it is possible that the guy has a great sense of humor. If the columns, on the contrary, are overloaded with information, then be careful: either the guy is too talkative, or he is trying to draw attention to his person.
Step #2: Looking at his photos
Be sure to look at his photos: you can draw certain conclusions for yourself. Photos usually clearly demonstrate how many friends a guy has, what he does and where he is used to spending his leisure time.
Pay attention to how many of his personal photos, where he is the only one in the frame, and what plan are these frames?
If the album is just full of his narcissistic "selfies" / torso / hairstyle, think about it, do you even need this type?
Step number 3: we study its "wall"
Feeling like Sherlock Holmes already? Further more. Take a look at the whole page: his statuses, "posts", music. To be honest, if his music doesn't match your spirit, it's not scary at all.
Worse, if you notice curses that are unacceptable to you, all sorts of “obscene” and “flood” on the “wall” with the participation of a large number of girls. It is unlikely that a guy will refuse obscenities in communication with you, and certainly will not deprive himself of additional female attention.
If you are not ready for such a turn of events, then feel free to close his account and look for a more worthy interlocutor.
On the "wall" you can also see the real scope of the young man's activities and hobbies: professional statuses and jokes, images of cars, bicycles, animals, as well as screenshots of online / video games.
The latter, by the way, do not always indicate avid gamers. Under them, a burnt “IT specialist” may also be hiding.
Animals most often testify to the kindness and possible sentimentality of a guy. A young person who has a pet is often more responsible and kind in real life.
Well, all sorts of vehicles and smart jokes usually demonstrate his light, but dynamic character. Ready to drive? Then this is definitely your option.
Step #5: clean up your page
You have thoroughly studied the guy's page and now you are a little aware of what he is like. Well, now it's time to take care of your account.
Do you understand that the young man you are interested in will definitely look through your page during correspondence? And he will get the same 82% of information about you.
Make sure there is no unnecessary information on the page. The page should not shout that you are in active search, in painful mental anguish, or passionately dreaming of seven charming toddlers.
In 99 cases out of 100, this scares men away. He will think 18 times whether to answer you at all, and how safe it will be to send you a “hello” in return.
Maybe you will immediately begin to “load” him with failed relationships, or even build an insidious plan to capture his living space and a cat? Or maybe you are generally a malicious "spammer" collecting donations to the endangered sickle-winged unicorn fund?
Remove "vanilla" statements and statuses. If you don’t know what to write so smart and creative, it’s better not to write anything at all.
In this way, you will be able to avoid initially biased attitude towards yourself and ridicule from a potential fan.
Step #5: Down with materialism
There is no place on your wall for images of huge bouquets and diamond necklaces with the inscription “excellent gifts”, unless, of course, you are going to correspond with Roman Abramovich.
The logic of the guys is very different from ours. Psychologists say that in this case, the guy on a subconscious level will make a negative conclusion about you for himself: in his eyes, you will simply turn out to be a mercantile bitch.
Rather, fill the wall with delicious recipes, images of nature and geographical places where you would like to or have already visited. Photos of cars or any other things that are present on the page of the desired object will do.
Experts assure that mirroring the page of the chosen one is a great way to attract his attention.
He will literally immediately understand that you have a lot in common.
Step 6: Choose Photos
What you will read below is extremely banal, but very important. It's about your photos. Be sure to take a selection of photos. Ruthlessly delete photos with good backgrounds but bad looks.
By the way, it is better to carry out such a “cleansing” with a good girlfriend or friend: often photos that we personally don’t like, others like, and vice versa. An unbiased opinion is important.
Get rid of numerous "selfies" and "ducks". Such photographs, unfortunately, do not present you in a highly intellectual light. You can generally create an album specifically for this guy, and impose privacy settings on the rest.
It’s not at all necessary for a guy to see you “cheerful” in the sauna with hot girlfriends. What if his girlfriends are more interested in him?
Step 7: Be proactive
Now you are completely ready to start the correspondence. Gain courage, breathe in more air - and into battle! Many girls are driven into a stupor by the question: what to write in order to please a guy?
Just don't start your fight with mundane "Hello how are you", "hellolet's get acquainted" "hello cool". Well, it's trite, isn't it? Remind yourself when you receive something like this. Are you excited and ready for instant communication? Unlikely.
Consider your appeal. It is very important for you to start a dialogue, to provoke him into a response.
Here are good examples of what you can write to a guy. You can write something like “You have such a cool smile that I couldn’t resist. Smile for me, please!" or “Listen, you remind me of one Hollywood actor…”.
If you know what a young man is interested in, then you can take a chance and write: "Hey! I am looking for a companion for horseback riding / karting. Will you form a company? or "Good afternoon! You were recommended to me as an excellent computer engineer / photographer / motorist. Can you please help me understand the program / choose a camera / understand how a linear four-cylinder turbo engine works?
Unsure how to contact a guy? You or you? If a man is younger than or about the same age as you, or if you are a little familiar, then it is quite possible to refer to “you”. If he is much older, or if you are addressing him with a specific request, and at the same time you are not familiar, then it is better to use "you".
By the way, referring to “you” is a win-win option in any case. You kill two birds with one stone: you position yourself as a well-bred young lady and 100% attract attention.
You don't want to be denied, do you? Better create affirmative forms: “you will agree that ...”, “am I right, right?”
Step 8: smile and wave
Most likely, the young man has already answered your first message. Now it is important to keep his attention. Do not doubt that he has already "scrambled" your account. But you have nothing to be afraid of: you managed to “clean” the *acute* page in time
Continue the conversation in the chosen direction. Don't forget about emoticons or, in simple terms, "emoticons". Yes, yes, we are expanding our vocabulary - you need to surprise the guy with something, so why not start it right now?
Such uncomplicated graphic symbols will help you avoid tension in the conversation, awkward pauses, and bring the conversation into a relaxed direction.
Step number 9: we check literacy
Of course, literacy in correspondence is far from the last thing. In any case, when sending the first two or three messages. If you don’t know how a particular word is spelled, then either “google” this word or check it in Word. Or even replace it with a simpler synonym.
At the same time, follow the guy’s messages: how well does he write? What if you, a highly educated intellectual, have a desire to hit him with a spelling dictionary? And that's it, write lost all interest in the gentleman ...
And if the erudite aesthete of the two of you is he? In this case, both of you will have to look for an alternative language of communication: someone will have to sign up for English courses, or look for an Esperanto teacher, or even come up with an alphabet of characters to avoid grammatical and spelling misunderstandings. Or say goodbye to the object of attention due to philological differences.
But if you don’t have special claims to your chosen one regarding education, and you can easily put up with spelling “aships”, then your relationship has a chance.
You can also relax if the man is not particularly brilliant with knowledge of the Russian language. In the end, philological aspects are not the most important things in a couple's life. If both of you are satisfied with the level of literacy at which you communicate, you can safely forget about social rules.
Step number 10: captivate
It’s great if you have the same interests, and you have a heated discussion. And if, after the second message, the conversation fell into a "logical stupor"? For example, if the young man declined to make any comments?
Then you urgently need to interest him. Preferably in relation to his hobbies. Tell him that sales of the super-mega-popular Audi TT Coupe will start in September 2016, or start a dispute regarding a robotic dual-clutch transmission.
Or even tell that in the mountains of Turkey you can climb a new route and at the same time have a good rest on the sea. How are you? Well, in extreme cases, we can talk about the overpopulation of Central Asia by gophers ...
Step 11: Don't Intrude
If you want to meet a VKontakte guy, it is very important not to impose yourself on him. Let's say everything goes well, you managed to persuade him to invest in a fund of endangered sickle-winged unicorns, and then he - hop! - And disappears ... At the same time, he is constantly "online".
Perhaps he is just busy, and there is no point in getting depressed amid an hour of silence? Obsession is the worst friend in such a delicate matter. Like whining for an unfinished life.
If the guy is silent for several days, try not to text him either. Find the strength to devote time to something else. For example, tidy up your apartment: if you sit at the monitor for days, you may not notice the “woolen carpet” on your desktop…
Or go somewhere with friends. For example, to the geographical center of your region. At worst, pretend to be insanely busy and post interesting and unusual photos from your leisure time.
Most likely, the young man will be the first to ask where you were and what you did, and if not, then write to him yourself.
Find out what he was so busy with. And just continue with him, as if nothing had happened, correspondence.
Step 12: Kidding
Yes Yes! We continue the correspondence in an unobtrusive and easy way. Without interrogations with passion and other female things. It's important to keep a sense of humor. Joke with him!
Try to always get out of a predicament with a joke. This way you will avoid quarrels and omissions.
You will show your easy nature and excellent communication skills. Do you also like to deal with a cheerful and inoffensive person?
Take an interest in his opinion, consult with him. Men are always pleased to be a wise adviser. And don't forget to praise him! He will simply melt when he realizes what delights you.
After a few compliments, you won't even have to text him first! Write to him that the advice on choosing a camera was extremely useful to you, or that the service could not figure out your car until he advised you to see if the rear spoiler was screwed on well, or, finally, that the unicorns would not have survived without his participation.
According to statistics, 97% of men are susceptible to flattery.
We hope that you did not manage to fall in love with one of the remaining three percent?
Step 14: Stay Polite
Always say "Thank you" to him. A magic word that works real miracles.
And in general, such a gesture provokes mutual politeness. And it's always nice. Both.
Step #15: Implement Virtuality
Of course, you can correspond with the object in this way until old age. But if you are serious, and the guy is happy to keep up the conversation, then there is no doubt: everything is mutual. And you can safely make an appointment. Here is a recent article from our magazine that will help you: .
Invite him somewhere. For example, take a walk in the park, or drink a cup of aromatic coffee in a cozy place. The only advice: let it be neutral territory.
Remember, your safety is paramount, and the Internet is not a society of excellent book lovers. Just in case, leave your / his coordinates / location to your best friend / friend.
Well, our article will help prepare for your upcoming date:.
Of course, I would not want to spoil the impression with some unpleasant incident. But, you see, "forewarned is forearmed."
Do not try to follow the advice from this material 100%, because you can pick up the “key” to a guy only in the process of live communication. Template phrases will only help move in the right direction.
What to ask a guy in correspondence and how to do it right
The reason for correspondence can be a like under a photo, a clash in an interest group, the presence of mutual friends offline, and a thousand more reasons.
His "hello" can be expected, or it can be a pleasant surprise.
Whatever scenario turns into reality, you want not only to show your interest, but also to learn more about the interlocutor, to understand what kind of person is hiding behind the screen. How he laughs and gets angry, how real (or staged) his photos are, why he even decided to make a virtual acquaintance ...
But before you pour out a stream of questions on a guy, remember - on the network, as in real life, there are certain unspoken rules. And to break them often means to be left with nothing.
So remember:
no one likes obsessions that make a person feel uncomfortable and come up with "correct" answers to questions asked. Do not turn communication into an interrogation, because the points of interest to you can be clarified not immediately, but over time in the process of correspondence;
don’t try to be better, prettier, smarter, sexier, more original, etc. Unusual behavior, pompous phrases, photoshopped photos give themselves away as a lack of “soul” - and who wants to communicate with a perfect robot? Therefore, be yourself, do not try to adapt to everyone you meet. After all, as you know, for every catcher there is a beast;
publish your own photos of good quality in your profile, do not hide behind pictures - such actions betray a fake that hardly anyone wants to talk to;
write correctly. Of course, complex turns that have descended from the pages of scientific works of the past will scare away even a fighter for the purity of speech, but the banal absence of spelling and grammatical errors will only play in your favor. And do not hide emotions under monosyllabic “aha”, “xs”, “ok”, write in such a way that a stranger sees in you a real interlocutor with his own opinion and outlook on life;
end the conversation so that the guy wants to continue the conversation.
How to like a pen pal
To begin with, critically evaluate your page - how much would such an interlocutor interest you yourself? Look through the photos (and not only the latest avatars, but also archive ones, which you yourself have long forgotten about), flip through the audio recordings, read the available information in the profile. And if compromising evidence, strange records of unknown origin, errors and typos are found there, it’s better to spend half an hour and bring your “Internet face” into proper form.
If your page attracted a guy, try to create a positive first impression. But don't overdo it - if it's been a tough day, it's better to be honest about it than to play miss-fun. The interlocutor of the Vedas is not an idiot. Even if he does not recognize outright lies, the chill and tension between you is provided for a long time.
An important point is the correct avoidance of “slippery” places in a conversation. If the topic is unpleasant for you, it is better to honestly say that you do not want to discuss this issue now than to try to make a forced joke or awkwardly translate the topic. Appropriate directness will please the guy, but trying to get out of the quagmire will make you laugh at best, and at worst will make the guy lose interest in you.
How to get a guy interested in a pen pal
So that the conversation does not get bored, add a note of interest to it. For example, offer to talk in an “either-or” format. Such games help not only to have a good time, but also to find out the type of temperament of the interlocutor. For example, questions like “mountains or beach”, “racing car or S-class Mercedes”, “redhead or brunette” will help you get to know the guy better, his inclinations, attitude to risk, etc. After all, a direct question can be answered with “comfortable ” answer, but veiled under the game more often gets a more frank return.
Another way to interest a guy is to skillfully ask for his opinion, show interest in his hobbies, ask for advice. It's especially cool if you get smart and ask him about something you haven't discussed yet. Review his photo, look for pages in other social networks, do not be too lazy to look for photos with him - such materials sometimes provide more information than correspondence. And the more original you ask a question, the more interest you are guaranteed.
What to talk about with a pen pal
Of course, being original in an intimate plane is unacceptable. Just like joking or teasing a guy. It would be better if you leave questions about his ex and sexual preferences for the future, when you have every right to ask such questions. In the meantime, be content with general topics: travel, books, movies, friends, family, hobbies, dreams, interests, work (study). Such discussions can give a basic characterization to any person.
Correspondence with a guy: sample questions
- What dreams have you already realized, and what are you planning in the near future?
- What do you do in the evenings after work?
- An act you are proud of? The most courageous act?
- What were you like as a kid?
- How would you like to spend your old age?
- Do you like to travel? What countries do you dream of visiting?
- Favorite movie, series, book, superhero?
- What relationship do you have with your family?
- Are there any brothers or sisters?
- How do you treat children?
- Are you a lark or an owl?
- What did you dream of being when you grow up?
- Do you love spontaneity?
- Your best birthday ever?
- Do you have a lot of friends? Tell me about them.
- Can friendship exist between a guy and a girl?
- What wish would you like to fulfill right now?
- What do you like in girls? What can't you stand?
- What clothes do you prefer?
- Can you cook?
How to know if a pen pal likes you
The most important “beacon” that will help you understand the guy’s attitude is his willingness and desire to correspond. If he is waiting for an online meeting, he writes to you first, he is not late for the agreed time, he is not too inclined to say goodbye, most likely, you are pleasant to him.
It is also important how willingly he shares secret things with you. Moreover, it is not necessary to wait for a confession - a story about how the day went can mean more than a confession of something supposedly very personal. Ask about his mood, ask questions about relationships with friends, funny things that happened at work, and note if the guy is ready to share a part of himself with you.
The same applies to you - if a guy talks about himself and does not make any attempts to get to know you more deeply, you are a typical narcissist talker.
Flirting can be seen in his tone: you are clearly not indifferent to a guy if he praises you, makes compliments, wishes you pleasant dreams in the evening and a good day in the morning. He can send virtual gifts, delight you with funny emoticons, make surprises, that is, show his attention in all available ways. Care is also important, the desire to protect and advise - it is characteristic of any man in love.
Just in case: how to send a pen pal away
Sometimes the reason for the desire to stop correspondence can be the obsession of a guy, sometimes boredom and chill, sometimes a mismatch of characters, tastes and interests. In any case, you should not delay, hoping that tomorrow it will definitely change.
If there is no desire to even start a dialogue, it's time to end it.
Honestly write to the guy that you don’t want to communicate with him anymore, that real life means more to you than the letters on the monitor. Stop showing interest, because the flirtatious “we need to take a break from each other” on the contrary warms up the hunter instinct in the male soul.
In general, the easiest, most honest and effective way to stop communication is the "spam" or "black list" button. Everything else is half measures.
Keep correspondence only with those who are interesting, with whom you would begin to communicate in real life. And yourself be the same as usual, do not play around and do not hide behind a fictitious personality. And, you know, if you had to invent what questions you can ask a pen pal, most likely, this is just not your person.
A languid look, meaningful sighs, fleeting touches... With such an arsenal, even the most persistent of men will lose their heads. But you never know girls have secrets to attract the attention of the opposite sex!
But what if you met on the Internet, and a real meeting “shines” for you very soon? How to make a pen pal fall in love with you?
Will ordinary correspondence with a guy be able to evoke feelings in his heart that even remotely resemble love?
How and where to meet
We spend most of our time online. Do you remember the last time you met someone in a cafe, transport or just on the street?
If some 10 years ago we were embarrassed to tell that we met our future husband on a dating site, today it has become commonplace:
- We solve all important cases in Viber, WhatsApp and Telegram
- share photos on Instagram
- discuss news on Facebook and communicate with friends via SMS
Our whole life is centered here. But why is it easy to get to know someone, but to seriously interest and fall in love with a guy on the Internet is already more difficult?
Where to begin?
The time has passed when all that was left for a woman was to sit and wait for the weather by the sea. It's time to take matters into your own hands. Therefore, we go to the site and begin the selection of potential candidates.
But you should not act thoughtlessly - follow some unspoken rules to achieve the desired results.
Rule #1 Check your profile
Do you have any entries in your profile or on the wall of the social network that could make you not in the best light? The presence in the albums of photos where you are half-naked does not add points to you either.
At heart, all men are owners. If you are set for a serious long-term relationship, you better play it safe and remove the pictures that can compromise you.
Nude pictures, of course, can attract a guy on the Internet, but such a man clearly does not dream of taking you to the altar. He will just admire your figure and go home.
Rule #2 Don't be afraid to text him first
Men love women who take the initiative. How to get a guy interested in a pen pal? What to write? Do not overload a man with unnecessary information from the very beginning.
Remember that you have just invaded his personal space. Therefore, it is necessary to act decisively, but wisely. Start with something neutral like "Hello!" Do not go into details of the purpose of your "visit", but first wait for his response.
Rule #3 Keep track of time
You should not write to him at night from the very beginning. Look at the time - maybe right now he gets to work through the whole city through traffic jams. Or, conversely, busy at an important meeting.
Your messages will only be associated with annoyance
In addition, his mood at this time of day can leave much to be desired. Choose the evening time, but make sure that the clock is no later than midnight.
Rule #4 Don't talk about the past
The most common female mistake is to mention your ex from the first lines of correspondence. Do not ask unnecessary questions about his past. You never know, suddenly it can spoil his mood. You don't know what and how. The time will come, and she will tell you everything.
Rule #5 Don't rush things
Hurry to transfer SMS communication with a guy in real life? Do not put pressure on a man with this question. If you see that he does not support this idea, it may be better to postpone it for later. Don't worry, men can be scared too.
He's probably just not quite ready yet. After all, it was you who found him, not he you. Have a little patience, because our main goal is correspondence with a man who will hook him so much that he himself will beg you for a speedy meeting. It is unlikely that he is going to build a lifelong relationship by correspondence. The day will come and you will receive an invitation to your first date.
Rule #6 Don't make big plans
No matter how easy a man may seem to you in communication, do not start talking about your plans and goals. You don't know each other well enough to discuss the future. There is a danger that he will take everything you say at his own expense.
Especially talking about marriage and children. This can simply scare a man away, because each of them fancies himself an inveterate bachelor and is convinced that he will never marry. Well, he just hasn't met you before.
Rule #7 Literacy
There is no one answer to the question: "How to make a pen pal fall in love." What a man will definitely like in communication is your culture of speech and style of presentation of thoughts. After all, this is your clothes, which are met with online dating.
Try to write correctly and avoid typos. When in doubt, it is better to check how a particular word is spelled.
Rule #8 Explain your emotions
The problem with all correspondence is that we cannot always correctly interpret what our interlocutor was trying to convey to us.
Sometimes we do not always understand what a message in a messenger means from a friend with whom we have been friends for 10 years and usually understand each other from a half glance. And here is a practically unfamiliar man, who, by the way, we want to like.
Not the best time to explain that you just expressed yourself incorrectly, and he did not understand the joke and was offended.
Use emoticons and emojis to let him know you're joking, but don't try to replace whole sentences with them. Such communication is more suitable for teenagers.
How to interest a guy seriously and for a long time?
We figured out the basic rules of correspondence with men. The most important thing is how to get a guy by SMS. Yes, make it so that all his thoughts are only about you.
Let's try? The most important thing is not to forget how you should communicate.
Refrain from platitudes
Do not write him trivial things that make you one of a million of the same girls. All these “smacks”, “sweet dreams” and “cemics” are already pretty fed up.
Be yourself and choose words that he will associate only with you.
Don't hesitate to compare
With no one and never. Especially with ex-boyfriends. As already mentioned, the topic of the former is taboo. Unless, of course, he himself will not affect her. But in this case, it is not necessary to expand on this topic too much. It was and it was. Now it doesn't make any sense. We drove.
Don't talk bad about yourself
Your complexes are mostly far-fetched. It's not up to you to decide what he likes about you and what he doesn't. Perhaps he will fall in love with you precisely for this hump on your nose, which has been “spoiling” your life since the fifth grade of high school. And the real shortcomings are also not worth mentioning yet. Talk about yourself only in a good way.
Look for new themes
Talking about the weather is the most boring and dull thing you can think of. Leave this topic to the grandmothers on the bench. Carefully find out what he is interested in and "dig" in this direction. Tell us something unusual that has happened to you lately.
Don't answer dryly
It may seem to him that you are not interested in further communication. Thus, your conversation will quickly come to naught. Warm up his interest with juicy details.
Call him by his name
Oh, this is the sweetest sound for every person. This custom set of letters works wonders.
Addressing a person by name, on a subconscious level, you become closer to him.
Let him be bored
Some girls do not let a man get bored and attack him with messages. Take a break and wait for him to text you first. Men do not appreciate what goes into their hands.
Add intrigue
There is a little intriguer in every woman. Men do not know how to endure, they want to get everything at once.
Therefore, if you cryptically promise to "meet someone" or "show him something interesting," he will turn on so that he will not leave you until you fulfill your promise.
And you actually wanted to send him a photo of your cat. You never know what he came up with. This is a common example, perhaps not the best.
Think about what you have that could intrigue him in earnest?
Don't reply to a message right away
Do not run headlong to the phone as soon as the SMS notification arrives. Let him know that he is not the center of your universe. Do not delay until tomorrow with an answer, but you should not answer right away either.
Proportionate amount of text
Do not scribble the essay "How I spent the summer with my grandmother in the village." The volume of your messages should not exceed the number of characters that he sent you. And don't mess with the messages.
If he sent you, say, 2 SMS, you should not unnecessarily sign 20 response messages. Shut up your fountain of eloquence. Do not be offended, but such a tactic of a girl discourages all desire to communicate.
Don't talk about yourself
We are all selfish, and that's okay. But forget about it, at least for a while. Talk about him, about him, and again about him. If he wants to talk about you, your hobbies and preferences, he will ask you these questions himself. Rejoice in his successes, admire him.
Communicate Regularly
He should get used to the fact that his morning begins with a message to you, and you need to fall asleep only after saying good night to you. "Hook" him into correspondence with you.
If, even after all your actions, the guy clearly does not move closer, then perhaps you should step back from the intended goal.
After all, you can't please everyone without exception. And that's okay. You should not puzzle over why you failed to build a relationship and what you did wrong by deciding to make a man fall in love with you by correspondence. Don't despair and don't take it personally. There will definitely be someone in your life who will appreciate you!
What to text a guy first: easy ways to impress
The power of a compliment
Common denominator
Life hack from a psychologist
Rule 1. The main thing is to start
Rule 3. Be correct
Rule 5
Dating site selection
Preparatory work: before writing
Before you surf the vastness of a dating site, check if everything is in order with your virtual face - a profile that, like the right dress, should emphasize the merits and hide the flaws. We have already analyzed in detail, on a dating site, in order to leave a clear, capacious and vivid impression about ourselves. Read.
She put herself in order - with the gaze of a tracker, study the profile of the guy to whom she was going to write, desperately flashing her eyes. The enemy must be known by sight. Any profile on a dating site, except for an empty one, provides a lot of useful information. In particular, it answers the question of what words to write to the guy first. Cling to the kindly provided information.
What to write to a guy you like: set goals
While you're scratching your head about what to write to a guy, I'll ask you this question: is goal setting an important condition for success. And I will answer right away: yes. The destination is the point of arrival. A goal is a clearly articulated desire. Having decided on the goal, you are looking for (and usually find) the means (words) to achieve it. Without a goal, you go somewhere and you end up somewhere. Like in the fairy tale about Alice.
“Tell me, please, where should I go from here?”
– Where do you want to go? - answered the cat.
"I don't care..." Alice said.
“Then it doesn’t matter where you go,” said the Cat.
Don't be Alice. Set transparent goals. Realize why you are wasting precious time looking for a partner for what? For example, walking through galleries, having tantric sex, creating a cell of society. Each goal has its own style of communication. By the way, what a manner - to write first. You must have asked yourself this question a hundred times.
Why It's Important to Write First: Benefits of the Initiative
Contrary to the stereotype “the first step should be taken by a man”, a commercially profitable event. Firstly, there are few girls who “write first”, and the attitude towards them is appropriate - as reverent as towards rare precious metals. Secondly, you get the opportunity to choose among ALL, and not among those who wrote to you (admit it, more than 90% of those who wrote are guys of low social demand). Thirdly, it is a skill that is useful in every sense - to take, and not to wait. Having become adept at dating sites, you can use it everywhere.
What to write to a guy first: simple ways to impress
Now dip your pen into the inkwell and write. And although the banal “Hi, how are you,” uttered by the lips of a woman, loses its vagueness and acquires fresh coquettishness, it’s worth throwing your brains around in order not only to grab attention, but to make an indelible impression. This is easy to do with a compliment.
The power of a compliment
It is rather strange that so few women use a simple way to win over any man on a dating site - to give a compliment. The compliment should be light and relevant. Leave the eloquence of the times of the Egyptian pharaohs in the bins of your rich spiritual world. “Your eagle eye pierced my quivering heart” - something like that will at best cause a smile, and sometimes it can even offend the interlocutor.
Men like it when their tribal advantages are emphasized - sexuality, strength, will: “I have never met such expressive biceps!”, “Who gave you such an amazing smile?”, “I want to make sure that handsome guys are interesting conversationalists. Can you help?”, “I don’t know what is more in you - magnetism or romance, but you are definitely not like the others.” Praise those virtues that exist in reality, and not illusory. Talking to a slender guy about biceps is at least merciless.
Common denominator
You can approach from the other side. Like a springboard, push off from the general moments. “Hi! I saw your photos from Tbilisi. I'm just planning to go there. I want to ask a few questions about the city and your impressions. Do you mind?”, “I also often visit this park, but I have never seen you. How could I miss it?”, “Is this luxurious Doberman yours? I have always dreamed of having a dog. Is it true that Dobermans, contrary to popular belief about their aggressiveness, are friendly and peaceful?
Life hack from a psychologist
To feel confident in any situation, and not just on a dating site, take on board the following life hack. If you don't know how to start or maintain a conversation, ask questions. Firstly, you will save the interlocutor from a headache, what to say, so that the conversation flows like a babbling stream. Secondly, the question form of communication will emphasize your focus on it.
Phrases for dating a guy on the Internet: TOP-100
In continuation of the conversation about the women's initiative, there are many examples on the topic “do not sit like a fair maiden, but write first”. Here's what you can write to a guy so as not to cross the fine line between light flirting and obscene behavior.
- I am a journalist. I'm doing a survey for a dating site. May I ask you a few questions? The first of them - how do you feel about girls who meet first?
- I read that a person needs to use 70 muscles to smile. I suggest you start downloading them right now. Smile and let's meet!
- I choose cufflinks as a gift for dad. Won't you help? Such a stylish young man should understand this.
- What ties are in fashion these days? I need to buy a gift for my brother, and I understand ties like screwdrivers.
- Do you know what an electrical discharge is? This is what happened when I looked at your picture.
- You look like the guy I saw in my dream the other day. True, he was not alone, but with a white horse. Isn't that you?
- Can you tell me how to change the candles / oil in "any brand of car"?
- I pressed something on the computer keyboard and everything went blank. What could it be?
- Do you really think that the Internet is a place where serious relationships can start?
- Why is such a spectacular guy looking for a girlfriend on the Internet? I'm sure in real life girls follow you in droves.
- I want to make sure that a handsome guy can be an interesting conversationalist. Will you help?
- You look like a wild animal - brave, smart and daring. And yet I think I can tame you.
- I want to ask you one question - what can you write to a guy you like?
- Why so thoughtful in the photo? Do not be sad. Life is wonderful. At least because there is me.
- I want to watch a movie tonight. Can you recommend something? It seems to me that you are well versed in cinema and not only.
- Suggest some book. I can't choose, and you look like a well-read young man.
- I also like this park (city, horse riding). I wonder what else we are similar?
- It's amazing how a simple photograph can convey so many emotions.
- I have never met a man with such a deep look. I'm impressed.
- So many secrets in those beautiful eyes. Will you share one of them with me?
- Before I saw you, I only read about alpha males in magazines.
- You look like you're hugging him. It gets warm right away."
- Such a look ... Having seen it, neither income, nor education, nor the presence of bad habits any longer matter.
- You look great. An innate sense of taste or do you follow trends?
- Hello. I've been looking for you everywhere for so long. And you appear to be here.
- I saw your profile, and now I'm worried about one question ...
- Is it just me, or have you actually acted in a movie?
- Probably, girls often invite you for a walk in the registry office?
- Tell me how to please one charming guy on this dating site?
- What do you think is more important for a girl - to be beautiful or smart? And which one do you prefer?
- How do you like the news that “the plot of the latest news (for example, the ruble has fallen sharply)”?
- Do you believe in love at first sight or do you prefer to look closely?
- I wonder if such a romantic young man listens to the voice of his heart or reason?
- Do you think it's worth making decisions based on intuition?
- Name your favorite movie. Maybe that's what I'll watch tonight.
- Have you been told that you make a lasting impression on girls?
- You've probably been told a thousand times that you're beautiful. But it's also nice to hear for the thousand and first time, isn't it?
- Invited to my uncle's birthday. Can you tell me what to donate?
- The guys are very tech savvy. Can you help me choose headphones / player / phone?
- Do you think love is relevant or already a relic of the past?
- If you could be a woman for a while, what would be the first thing you would do?
- Could you call me on my mobile? Lost, can't find.
- If you had a time machine, where would you like to go?
- Do you like to pop bubbles on a packaging bag as much as I do?
- Are you seriously considering this site as a resource for finding a girl?
- I wonder if such a serious man has ever done crazy things?
- And what brings you here?
- Do you want me to cheer you up?
- Are you by any chance the guy of my dreams?
- How do you feel about women's initiative?
- Why do men like stupid girls?
- And how long have you been stealing women's hearts?
- Your smile makes me lose my sanity.
- You look like a purebred cat. So I want to hug you.
- Sky, tree, supermarket wall…. What do you see from the window?
- I have problems with my eyes. I can't take them off your profile.
- Hello. We need a man's opinion on one issue. Can you help me?
- Oh, have you been to "city/place name"? And how did you like it there?
- Let's skip the official part of the introduction and move on to the more important part.
- Maybe we’ll get to know each other, or will we silently look through each other’s profiles?
- I have a feeling that you, having looked through my profile, did not know how to roll up. Here, I decided to help you.
- I thought for a long time about a good phrase to start dating, but decided not to complicate it. Let's get acquainted without boring clever words?
- How about communication without obligation?
- What do you think we have in common?
- There are advantages, but what about the disadvantages?
- I would like to know more about you than just your name.
- I wonder what is behind this beautiful facade?
- You have x-ray eyes. Perhaps you can't hide anything from you?
- You have a luxurious look. Now it's your turn to compliment.
- Could you explain to me one of the rules of the road?
- I am a guest from the future and sent to the "dating site" to make your life better and happier.
- I am writing an article about web dating. May I ask you a couple of questions?
- I'm writing a book about how to get to know a guy. Your independent opinion is interesting.
- Your presence here turns the other guys into a faceless mass.
- You create the impression of a fortress where you can find shelter and feel safe.
- Young man, you hurt my heart, and now you are obliged to provide me with medical assistance.
- I promised my cat that today I would meet the most handsome guy on the site.
- They say that initiative is punishable, and at the same time it is better to regret what you have done than what you have not done. Let's meet?
- With a man like that, you don't even need a blanket. So much warmth from you!
- I get embarrassed when you look at me and don't write anything.
- Would you like to take me to a cafe one evening?
- Young man, can you tell me if you like me?
- Will you take me out of the labyrinth of loneliness?
- I'm drowning looking into your eyes. Save urgently!
- So that's what a magnetic look is...
- I have never seen such expressive cheekbones.
- Is it true that all men are polygamous?
- You can even go to a desert island with you.
- What attracts you the most in girls?
- What is the difference between a screwdriver and a drill?
- If tomorrow is the end of the world, what would you do today?
- I feel that you are not like everyone else. I want to understand why.
- Do you think money can buy happiness?
- Did you know that reproduction in space is impossible?
- I dreamed of Freud today. What do you think that would mean?
- They say that the trainer's wife gets sugar after good sex!
- Do you also think that female logic incapacitates the male psyche?
- I wonder why men after refueling a car shake the gun in the tank?
- What happens if you press the gas and brake at the same time in a car?
- I wonder if you fold or scatter your socks?
What then: how to keep his attention and interest
In principle, in order to, a lot of mind is not needed. Enough pleasant appearance and unobtrusive initiative. But so that interest does not evaporate at the speed of boiling water, maintain the right degree.
- Do not expose the acute need for communication and excitement about its absence. “Where have you gone”, “Why don’t you write”, “I am waiting for your answer” - phrases to defeat.
- Talk mostly about him - everyone likes to be talked about. Speak, don't talk. Don't be a Real Madrid fan if you don't know what a penalty is.
- Good throw - ask for help. Men like women who ask for help. This makes them feel masculine and smart, that is, feel superior. “Choose a lawn mower for my dad for his birthday – do you think Makita or Husqvarna is better?”, “Given (name of the game), but I can’t get past the seventh level! You are a cool gamer. Help me out!” (if he is a cool gamer).
Remember that communication for the sake of communication has no practical meaning if the purpose of your stay is not to stretch your fingers. As soon as you are convinced of the adequacy and safety of your partner, go to real. Everything interesting happens there.
Summary: 5 important rules for interesting and effective correspondence
In the meantime, you are here, and not there, download into the unconscious the basic rules (no rules anywhere) of interesting and effective correspondence.
Rule 1. The main thing is to start
The first rule of communication on a dating site is to start a conversation. We found out that the problem of what to write to the guy first does not exist. You can indicate your interest with a banal “Hello”, having tested the ground, whether the partner makes contact or loves only blondes (when you are a brunette). Or go to a higher level - compliments and immersion.
Rule 2: Be meaningful
Don't bother how to beautifully write to a guy on. Literary talent is an asset, but without the right stuffing, a sense of language doesn't matter. Men are a different audience. They don't like pretty quotes. It is important - not how, but what to write to a guy in order to interest him. Be a brilliant conversationalist. Here is the recipe from Lisa Kirk: “A gossip is someone who talks to you about others, a bore is someone who talks to you about himself, and a brilliant conversationalist is someone who talks to you about you.”
Rule 3. Be correct
His ins and outs don't concern you yet. Questions about the financial situation, the number of divorces, hemorrhoids in the anamnesis hold back. At this stage of dating, skeletons in the closet are not considered. You will arrange an interrogation with predilection later. For example, before you go under the march of Mendelssohn into a brighter future.
Rule 4
As soon as you turn on the “half”, which is bored, suffering and otherwise demonstrates its inferiority without it, write, it’s gone. Forget the word forms that emphasize your inferiority against the background of its significance like a bad dream (“I miss you”, “I miss you”, “You have become the meaning of my life”). And without esotericism (“Fate itself brought us together”).
Rule 5
It’s better not to finish talking about yourself - briefly answer his questions and cover yourself with a veil. Watch out for the halo of mystery. Don't be a shirt-guy and open your soul. It is interesting to recognize a mysterious stranger.
What to write to a guy, we offered examples. They are enough to demonstrate their originality and psychological maturity. That's just theory without practice is not worth a damn. Therefore, right now, register the questionnaire and start exercising. Good luck!
Today, more and more often, princes are not found in beautiful castles, but on the Internet - social networks and dating sites. Such online relationships attract not only insecure girls, but also just busy women.
If you have a worthy young man in your online contacts, why not take advantage of the situation and try to turn non-committal messaging into something more? The following tips will help you understand how to interest a pen pal.
Suppose, while scrolling through the pages of men on Vkontakte or on a dating site, you notice a photo of a handsome man and decide to start a conversation with him.
In order for correspondence with a guy to bring you only pleasure, it is important to follow a few rules.
Rule number 1. You need to attract the attention of a man
To please a representative of a strong sex in VK, you should not “like” indiscriminately all his photos, music and video files. Just send a friend request, justifying it with something.
For example, you liked his photographs from the last cruise. There are two possible scenarios for the development of the situation:
- If you have also visited this place, specify that you want to remember the pleasant moments of your vacation.
- If these sights are unfamiliar to you, ask the young man to tell you about them, since you planned to go there.
That is, you attract attention, you are the first to enter into a conversation, and he can already support him or refuse to communicate. Most likely, if you are polite and witty, he will not refuse to accept you as "friends".
Rule #2: Find Common Interests
If you want to please a man when communicating in contact, find out as much as possible about his hobbies, hobbies and. You can do this after scrupulously studying his personal page:
- in photographs, a guy can capture, for example, fishing, diving, tattoos;
- musical preferences are obvious by the presence of tracks on the page;
- check the list of groups in which he is a member;
- look at his buddies, especially the ones on the "best" list.
Don't consider this espionage, but secrecy is best kept. No one needs to know that you are going to seduce or just like a particular young man by correspondence.
Rule #3
If you have already started a conversation, behave properly. What does this mean? You should not immediately rush to your laptop after waking up to write a grand "hello" and start a long conversation.
Try waiting until the guy texts first. If he is in no hurry to communicate with you in contact, once a day it is allowed to start a conversation on his own initiative. And in general - it is better to look at the situation!
Rule #4
You can and ordinary literacy. This will set you apart from the general mass of girls who make grammatical errors and slang words in correspondence.
Messages like this turn off many young people, so try to write correctly, and if you are not sure of yourself, refer to online resources that correct mistakes.
Rule #5
Be sure to study your page on Vkontakte, bringing it into a "divine" form.
Read profile information, review photos, videos and audio files. Do they contain "compromising evidence" on you?
Ruthlessly delete all incomprehensible entries, just don’t try to lick your account too much or make it as similar as possible to the male one, since the guy will communicate with a living person with his own preferences.
Rule #6
If you are determined not only to correspond with a man, but also to organize a real meeting, put your own image on the avatar, preferably fresh and not too “photoshopped”.
A young man will simply be disappointed when he sees a completely different young lady on a date than in the photo. Therefore, conduct a conversation on your behalf and face!
How to chat with a man?
When discussing how to interest a man by correspondence and communicate with him correctly, first decide on the ultimate goal of your conversations.
What do you want from a young man: just have a nice conversation in contact, or do you want to seduce a guy? We offer some specific advice.
- Be yourself. Wishing, some young ladies begin to lie and build themselves into a bitch or a modest one. If you don't want to stop at socializing in contact, behave naturally. Deception will be revealed sooner or later, and the relationship may end.
- Be polite. Good manners and politeness are always in fashion. Say hello and goodbye, do not be afraid to thank once again for a compliment or advice. Of course, one should exclude boorish or vulgar words and, moreover, mate. You can hook a man with your intelligence.
- Joke more often. A sense of humor immensely adorns girls. If a young lady knows how to joke, make laugh and understand the jokes and jokes addressed to her, a conversation with her gives the guy only pleasure.
- Avoid harsh flattery. Rude flattery and sugary phrases are not the best way to please a young man. Sincere compliments, on the other hand, are welcome. For example, pay attention to his muscular figure, the ability to understand computer "insides".
- Don't impose. We repeat once again - do not bombard the guy with messages on VK if he suddenly stops responding. He is probably busy, away from the computer, taking a break from communicating on the Internet, or simply cannot find a topic for conversation. In the latter case, ask him a neutral question that allows him to continue the conversation.
- . You need to be interested in a man, but you should not delve into his personal life. At the initial stage, avoid questions about his ex-girlfriends. Then, when you begin to communicate more closely or move to a serious level of relationship, you can return to this moment.
- Avoid intimate topics. An overly frank conversation with a stranger is not the best option for starting an acquaintance in contact, unless you are discussing the question of how to get a guy to sleep with him in a quick way. If the conversation takes on a sexual connotation, gently hint that you still know each other too little, but in the future ...
- Be positive. The conversation should be predominantly positive. Do not complain about your difficulties in life, the only exception is if the guy talks about his problem, and you want to support him by saying that you are in a similar situation. However, it is better to give up despondency and not bother the man with your troubles.
For now, content yourself with general questions. Examples of topics are literature, travel, cinema, hobbies, close relatives, funny and unusual stories from the past.
The main signal that helps determine whether you managed to please a young man and attract his attention is the willingness to communicate with you on VK and other social networks. You are more likely to please your interlocutor if he:
Another indicator is how willingly the guy shares secrets with you or just things that are important to him. This can be tested by asking him a few questions about how he spent the day, what interesting things happened at work or at the university.
True, if a man is tired or simply not in the mood, it is better to postpone such questions so as not to provoke irritation.
Having decided how to start a correspondence with a guy, you need to find out the signs that communication with him is becoming unproductive, uninteresting and inconvenient.
It is best not to impose, but to end the conversation in time so that both parties have only the best memories.
It is quite possible that, having become bored, after a while the young man himself will take the initiative and write first.
The recommendations above on how to get a pen pal interested are only rough tips. You yourself can evaluate how pleasant the interlocutor in contact is to you and how to behave with him in certain situations.
A man from a social network offers to meet in real life? Agree if you are confident in the possibility of taking the relationship to a more serious level. After all, it was for this that you tried to please a young man, wasn't it?
Hello, I'm Nadezhda Plotnikova. Having successfully studied at SUSU as a special psychologist, she devoted several years to working with children with developmental problems and advising parents on the upbringing of children. I apply the experience gained, among other things, in the creation of psychological articles. Of course, by no means do I pretend to be the ultimate truth, but I hope that my articles will help dear readers deal with any difficulties.